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[0:00] Okay, I'm going to talk tonight about the last topic. A man is a ruling leader. A man is a ruling leader. And I'm going to quote a lot of passages tonight, but I'm not going to ask you to turn to them.

[0:14] But I am going to ask you to turn to this one. This is Isaiah chapter 3. So you're going to turn to Isaiah chapter 3, if you have a Bible. We're going to read this together.

[0:26] Isaiah chapter 3, starting in verse 1. We're going to read up through verse 12. Okay, Isaiah chapter 3, starting in verse 1.

[0:48] For behold, the Lord God of hosts is taking away from Jerusalem and from Judah support and supply. All support of bread and all support of water.

[1:00] The mighty man and the soldier. The judge and the prophet. The diviner and the elder. The captain of 50 and the man of rank. The counselor and the skillful magician. And the expert in charms.

[1:11] And I will make boys their princes. And infants shall rule over them. And the people will oppress one another. Everyone his fellow. And everyone his neighbor. And the youth will be insolent to the elder.

[1:23] And the despised to the honorable. For a man will take hold of his brother in the house of his father, saying, You have a cloak. You shall be our leader. And this heap of ruins will be under your rule.

[1:37] And that day he will speak out, saying, I will not be a healer. In my house there is neither bread nor cloak. You shall not make me a leader of the people. For Jerusalem has stumbled.

[1:48] And Judah has fallen. Because their speech and their deeds are against the Lord. Defying his glorious presence. For the look on their faces bears witness against them.

[2:00] They proclaim their sin like Sodom. They do not hide it. Woe to them. For they have brought evil on themselves. Tell the righteous that it shall be well with them.

[2:12] For they shall eat the fruit of their deeds. Woe to the wicked. It shall be ill with him. For what his hands have dealt out shall be done to him. My people.

[2:24] Infants are their oppressors. And women rule over them. Oh, my people. Your guides mislead you. And they have swallowed up the course of your paths.

[2:34] So there's a lot in that thing. But I think there's a few prominent themes. This is why I chose this for the opening.

[2:46] And one is that it illustrates that male leadership is God's normative. Okay? It's God's normative design. And when the people turned away from God and they rejected his rule, the judgment he sent on them is that women and children and rebellious youth would be their masters.

[3:05] Okay? And that's today. This is our entire society. This unfortunately has now even crept into the church. It's homes.

[3:16] And what it has to do, it's evidence of God's judgment. Okay? Male, godly male leadership from the beginning is God's normative design for ensuring his sovereign, healthy, safe rule over people.

[3:37] Okay? And the consequence is that when we reject God, the order gets flipped. And you think, you know, like, why is, you know, women ruling over them?

[3:50] Why is this a judgment? Like, women are supposed to be nicer than guys. You know? They're just nicer. That's the problem. Okay? The niceness of women, the immaturity of the youth, these are not protective attributes.

[4:08] Okay? God institutes male leadership for a reason. Yeah, I'm going to talk about that more here. But this is part of why I titled this message, Ruling Male Leadership.

[4:20] We were debating whether to call a man as a leader or a man as a ruler. Because really, people, everybody can lead. Okay? Women lead. There's ways that women lead. Children can lead.

[4:31] So, like, we can lead by example. You might have a gift of leadership. You don't have any real responsibility for leading. But people follow you because they like you and you set a good example. And you can lead people without having any responsibility for them.

[4:44] But that's different than what we're talking about. Ruling leadership has to do with responsibility. Okay? So, the Oxford definition.

[4:55] I looked this up on Google and it says the Oxford definition. So, I believe them. For leader. We'll give the definition for leader first. A leader is the person who leads or commands a group, organization, or country.

[5:08] And a ruler is a person exercising government or dominion. So, again, like leading, you know, these could be synonyms. We can use them as synonyms.

[5:19] But when you say leader, you know, we think a lot today of, like, servant leader or someone who just, you know, leads by example, like I was saying. But I want to hone in on the ruling aspect because, you know, leading can be by example without authority or responsibility.

[5:31] Ruling includes command, authority, and responsibility for outcomes of the thing that is within your charge. And I think this is really what we're trying to communicate here.

[5:47] When we're talking about man as a leader, it's this responsibility-based leadership that involves authority. Michael Foster says responsibility and authority are inextricably linked.

[5:58] Authority without responsibility is tyranny. Responsibility without authority is slavery. There is no responsibility to lead without authority to back it up.

[6:11] Okay? And God has given each one of us a charge that we have a responsibility for, and therefore we have authority to rule over it. Okay? Man was created as a ruling leader.

[6:25] And this is, you know, this is all throughout the Bible. And this is everything. The difficulty with this sermon, I spent most of my time just trying to pull things out so I could get it into, like, a time slot here. So this is everywhere.

[6:36] The parable of the minas in Luke 19, 11 through 27, there's a great illustration of this. You have a king. He leads. His people hate him. And he delegates rule to servants.

[6:50] And they have a certain amount of responsibility allocated to each one. And when he comes back, he requires an accounting of it. And there were guys who were faithful with it, and they were given much.

[7:05] And there was a guy who was unfaithful with it. And his end was the same as the people who hated him. Okay? Just an example.

[7:16] So where do we see this principle in the Bible? Ruling male leadership in the Bible. Number one, it came with the created order. Man was created first. 1 Timothy 2, 13 says, David Pawson says on the commentary on this verse from the book Leadership is Male.

[7:42] Woman was made after man. His priority in time has other implications. The firstborn carries responsibility for and authority over later rivals, as Paul indicates.

[7:54] So, man was made first. And Paul derives an implication from this fact. And it has to do with authority.

[8:05] He said, woman should not have authority over a man because the man was created first. There's a lot more. Number two, God made man for dominion with man leading and woman helping.

[8:16] We get this from Genesis 1, 26. Man was created for dominion. This has to do with our creative purpose as mankind. Okay? So, this is mankind he's speaking of. Genesis 1, 26.

[8:27] Then God said, Let us make man in our image after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.

[8:39] So, mankind was made for dominion. And then woman was created as helper for the man from man. Genesis 2, 18 says, Then the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone.

[8:51] I will make him a helper fit for him. And Genesis 2, 23 says, Then the man said, after he made Eve out of his rib, He says, This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.

[9:05] She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man. And then in 1 Corinthians 11, 7-9 says, For a man ought not cover his head since he is the image and glory of God, but woman is the glory of man.

[9:16] For man was not made from woman, but woman from man. Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man. So, David Pawson continues in his commentary on this theme.

[9:29] He said, Woman is made for man, and the reverse is not true. Her primary function is in relation to him. His was already established without reference to her.

[9:41] So, mankind was given a dominion mandate. The man's responsibility is to lead in accomplishing that.

[9:52] And the woman's responsibility, her orientation, is towards helping him accomplish that. So, we have a responsibility, men and women, to go take dominion.

[10:03] How are we supposed to do it? Man is supposed to lead. Woman is supposed to help. This is our created purpose. Number three, God made man as a head. When the Bible uses the word head, some have said it means source.

[10:17] I think the more accepted traditional interpretation of it is supreme, chief, prominent, authority. Okay, like the head of a nation is top dog.

[10:30] Okay? 1 Corinthians 11, 3 says, But I would have you know that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is the man, and the head of Christ is God.

[10:40] So, we see here that there is a, there is a creational headship here. Okay? This has to do with like mankind and our created purpose. Christ is the head of man. Ontologically, man is the head of woman.

[10:55] And we see here this, this, you know, this divine order. Ephesians 5, 22 through 23 says, So now we see it zoomed in more.

[11:17] Husband-wife relationship. This has to do with a, like two actual people in space time. A man and his wife. Okay? This is not just, this is not big picture anymore.

[11:28] This is, you know, this is details. You know, this is me and my wife. Okay? What's my relation to my wife? I am her head. Okay? And she's my body.

[11:41] She's part of me. Amen. You know, no man ever hates his body, but nourishes and cherishes it, just like Christ does the church. So we're one. But we have a unique, we're not one as sort of like asexual, you know, role swapping.

[11:56] You know, you do the leading one day and I'll do the leading the other day. No, no, no. We have a very clear, like divinely ordained orientation and way of thinking about ourselves. The man's the head.

[12:08] He leads. The woman's the body. She helps. Doug Wilson calls this inescapable headship. And he says, if you are a husband, you are a head.

[12:20] You may be a poor one, but there is no escaping the position. Scriptures never tell husbands to become the head. The Bible tells us that the husband is a head.

[12:32] Like it or not, whether you steward the position ably or poorly, the fact of headship is unable to be destroyed or removed. It just is.

[12:43] So, by being a man, you are that. You can do a bad job at it or you can do a good job at it. You cannot escape the consequences of your actions.

[12:59] It just will happen. Okay? This has to do with society. It has to do with families. So, number four, headship includes a responsibility to rule.

[13:11] So, what are the implications of this truth? That starts in the home. The Bible says in Ephesians 5, 22 through 24, it says, we've read this already, wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord, for the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.

[13:28] Now, as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. so there's an implication of headship.

[13:39] What is it? Submission. How much? Well, how much does the church obey Christ? He just says it. Now, as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

[13:53] Genesis 3, 16, this goes back to the curse, to the woman, he said, I will surely multiply your pain and childbearing, and pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be contrary to your husband, but he shall rule over you.

[14:04] Now, I've heard some people say that, okay, the whole male headship thing, the husband having authority with the wife, that was a result of the fall. But that's not actually true.

[14:14] This instituted, you know, this whole headship thing was instituted at the beginning. The difference is, now she has desires that are contrary to the husband.

[14:27] Okay? Sin came in, and now where there was marital unity, agreement, felicity, now there is tension.

[14:38] Now there's struggle. But it doesn't change God's divine ordinance that because the man's the head, she has to submit to him.

[14:52] 1 Timothy 4, 1 Timothy 3, verses 4 through 5, says an elder, speaking of an elder, qualifications of elder, he must be one who rules his own house well, having his children in submission with all reverence for if a man does not know how to rule his own house, how we take care of the church of God.

[15:10] So we see here, it starts in the home. There's a biblical priority for the home. You can't be a leader in the church if you don't know how to do it in your family because you just, whatever you do, that's what you do.

[15:21] You know, wherever you go, there you are. How you lead your family is how you would lead the church. And so, you know, do that job first is essentially what he's saying. Old Testament law, there's a couple of interesting things in Numbers 30.

[15:34] Speaking of this authority in verses 3 through 5 in verse 16 speaks of, I'm not going to read the whole passage, but basically, it speaks of this dynamic where if a daughter who's unmarried, who's living in her father's home, makes a rash vow, and you know, the vows are taken very seriously, it's a vow to the Lord, and the father hears about it, he can overrule it, and it says, God will forgive her.

[16:02] Which is just amazing. She made this vow as an individual who has agency and responsibility for a living God, and this man overrules it, and God says, okay, yes, I'll forgive her.

[16:18] She's cleared of her responsibility. And not only is it for the daughter, it's for the wife too. It says, it goes on to speak of a situation where if the wife makes a rash vow and the husband hears of it, and he overrules it, God will forgive her.

[16:34] But if he hears about it and he doesn't do anything about it, she'll be held responsible. So the agency is in the person who's head, which is the man. So, I mean, basically, it boils down to the first principle is the husband has ruling leadership responsibility in the home and God backs it up.

[16:55] Even when the woman in the situation makes a vow directly before God, which is very interesting. Two, second category, the church, 1 Corinthians 14, verse 34 through 35, says, the women should keep silent in the churches, for they are not permitted to speak, but should be in submission, as the law also says.

[17:15] If there is anything they desire to learn, let them ask their husbands at home, for it is shameful for a woman to speak in church. 1 Timothy 2, 13, we already read this, we'll read it again. I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man, rather she is to remain quiet, for Adam is formed first and then Eve, and then Titus 1, verses 5 through 6.

[17:36] For this reason, I left you in Crete that you would set in order what remains and appoint elders in every city as I directed you. Namely, if any man is above reproach, the husband of one wife, having children who believe, not accused of dissipation or rebellion.

[17:49] So we have two things here. One is, women are not allowed to lead in the church, and two, a man must lead in the church. It's very simple. God has ordained men to the office of eldership in a ruling, leading capacity in the church.

[18:05] There's, you know, if we look at the Old Testament, this principle is upheld all the way through the Old Testament. Elders, priests, authors of Scripture, all men. In the New Testament, elders, apostles, the 12 disciples, even the seven table ministers in the Book of Acts, you know, who are, they just have the job of just taking care of the widows and dispensing food.

[18:24] What were the requirements? Men, full of the Holy Spirit. And then all the authors of the Scripture, every single author of the Scripture, Old Testament, New Testament.

[18:36] We do have a prophecy in Proverbs 31 that King Lemuel's mother taught him, but he still had the responsibility of being the one who wrote it down and put it in the canon.

[18:50] So, this principle is all the way throughout Scripture. What do we take away? Men rule in the church. God has ordained men to rule and exercise leadership in the church.

[19:00] Last one, society. Isaiah 3, verses 1 through 12, we already read that. This principle is more illustrative, okay, but that God's normative order is male rule over a nation, with women and children rule being evidence of judgment for rebellion against God.

[19:19] 2 Chronicles 7, 18 says, this is, he's speaking to Solomon, then I will establish your royal throne as I covenanted with your father David, saying, you shall not lack a man to be ruler in Israel.

[19:32] This, this principle is upheld all throughout the Old Testament. And when we have these, you know, these priest kings and we have, you know, God choosing rulers, the normative example is, you know, the patriarchs, 12 tribes, you know, the leaders of the 12 tribes, judges, except for Deborah, which notably, she refused to go into battle.

[19:52] She wanted Baruch to go and he refused. He chickened out. He's like, you have to go with me. She's like, all right, that honor's not going to be for you though. She was deferring. This is a very feminine way of holding leadership is out of respect and the fear of God and the office that he has ordained for his glory, I'm not going to go do that job.

[20:11] You had to have a guy who's a coward to kind of make her do it, you know. So, you know, this is an exception that proves the rule. Kings, all the kings, okay, good ones and bad ones and the only queen who ruled was the evil queen, Athaliah, okay, all the elders, all men.

[20:30] So, this illustrative principle, God's ordained norm is male leadership. So, I just want to make a quick note on complementarianism.

[20:40] I pulled this from Josh's notes on this topic. He said, complementarianism says that men and women are equal in value and have distinct roles only in the home and the church.

[20:52] Not sure how familiar you guys are with that term. We are complementarianism, but we are complementarian. We're not complementarianism. We believe in complementarianism. But we do, we do have some refinements as we're speaking of here.

[21:08] It says that they are equal in value and have distinct roles only in the home and the church. Outside of church and home, a man and woman are equal in role as well. That's what complementarianism says.

[21:18] Okay? He continues, complementarianism doesn't go far enough and it's intellectually inconsistent. If gender roles are rooted in creation, then it makes no sense to limit them to church and home.

[21:32] Since gender roles are rooted in creation and the very nature of men and women, they apply everywhere, not just in church and home. Zachary Geras says, the attempt to limit gender roles to the home and the church is dualistic in that it pits the religious against the secular.

[21:48] But God designed men to be men in all of life and he's designed women to be women in all of life in the home and church and in society. Women do not get to act like, women do not get to act like men just because they stepped outside of the home into broader society.

[22:02] A woman takes her womanly nature with her wherever she goes and a man takes his manly nature with him wherever he goes. End quote. So, the point being, Genesis teaches that men and women are equal in value and have distinct nature and roles everywhere.

[22:20] Okay? This is more than just Genesis. This is the story arc of the Bible. Okay? You just are a thing that is you. Okay? If you're a man, you're a man. And you're always a man. You're a man.

[22:30] Whatever you do, there you are, you're a man. Well, it's the same with women. If you're a woman, you carry your womanly, God-given, unique attributes with you wherever you go. So, we hold to what the Bible teaches on this and we do use the term complementarianism to emphasize the interdependence and indispensability of both sexes.

[22:50] You see this in 1 Corinthians 11, verse 11, 11, verse 11 and 12 when it speaks of the man is not separate from the woman in the Lord.

[23:01] Okay? Because the woman, the man comes from the woman and the woman from the man. And there's this interdependence, equal value, distinct roles, and distinct nature. When I'm speaking here, the point is, man, as part of his distinct nature, has with it an inherent responsibility to exercise authority and rule over the sphere of responsibility that God has given him that he will give an account for on the day of judgment.

[23:26] And he who is faithful with little will be faithful with much. He who is unfaithful with little will be unfaithful with much. But he's calling us to be faithful. Okay? So, last one.

[23:37] Number five, this Bible speaks of the sober weight of leadership responsibility. Hebrews 13, 17 says, Obey those who rule over you and be submissive, for they watch out for your souls as those who must give account.

[23:51] Going to give an account to God. Let them do so with joy and not with grief, for that would be unprofitable for you. And again, Paul says in 1 Corinthians 4, verses 1 through 2, Let a man regard us in this manner as servants of Christ and stewards of the mysteries of God.

[24:07] In this case, moreover, it is required of stewards that one be found trustworthy. So, this might sound just kind of like a hoorah, a man rule, you know, just, you know, super macho, do whatever I want.

[24:21] We're going to give an account to God. The litmus test is Jesus Christ. He is the ruler. And the plumb line is Jesus Christ himself.

[24:32] Okay? The man says he's in Christ. He ought to walk as Jesus walked. And we're going to give an account. Okay, so we'll give some reasons.

[24:42] 16 reasons why men abdicate their responsibility to lead and rule. This is by no means comprehensive. These are just the things I can think of. Number one is ignorance. You don't know. Okay?

[24:53] You don't know the Bible. Maybe you had a bad example. Maybe you didn't have a dad who led very well. Maybe you had pastors who didn't lead well. Okay? You just don't know. Or maybe you had bad teaching.

[25:06] Maybe people taught the Bible, but they, you know, diced it all up and did some gymnastics with these verses. You know, these kind of more on-the-nose verses and just kind of undermined the truth that you're required to leave.

[25:19] You're a guy and you're required to leave. So, maybe you're just ignorant. Number two, rebelling to God's word. Maybe you do know what the Bible says and you just don't want to do it. Okay? Maybe you're rebelling against God.

[25:30] A lot of people do that. Number three, selfish love of comfort. I think this is a huge one. You know, you don't want to rebel against God's word, but you kind of don't want to have a hard time more.

[25:42] And you know that if you do what's right, you're going to have a less comfortable life. Number four, related to this, is fear of conflict. This is a whole like, happy wife, happy life sort of deal.

[25:55] You know, appeasing your kids. You know, they're throwing a fit, give them some candy. You know, your wife, you know, you know that it, I know we shouldn't do that. She really wants to do that.

[26:06] But, happy wife. You know, fear of conflict. Number five, waiting for consensus. I think this is a huge one. You know what you got to do.

[26:16] You try to move people towards it, but you're going to wait until everybody agrees. Jesus is the example. Like, go through the Bible, look at the number of times Jesus waited for consensus.

[26:30] Number six, this is also related to the waiting for consensus thing, is sometimes we want to, we want leading by example to be enough. If I just do the right thing, surely, you know, look at the end, right?

[26:46] It's not enough. Adam, I think Adam was a good example of how this is not enough. He led, you could argue that he led by example in the garden. He wasn't eating it. Until she did, and then she handed it to him, because he was right there watching her, had this conversation with the devil, and leading by example.

[27:07] It's not enough. Number seven, they think that servant leadership is more Christ-like than exercising godly authority. Okay, there's a lot that's been said about servant leadership.

[27:19] It comes from the Bible. Okay, Jesus is the one who came up with servant leadership. And it's good. But, there's a twisted version of servant leadership that says you lead by serving.

[27:31] That is not true. Okay, that's just not true. You serve by leading. Okay, you serve by leading. Part of leading is getting in there and doing the unpleasant things that no one wants to do.

[27:47] Amen. Serve away. Send an example to people. But, the modern version of servant leadership that's so commonly taught in the church is, is under, it's basically, it hates, it hates authority.

[28:02] It hates standing up and saying, no, so the Bible says, I'm sorry, you know, like Joshua, as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. We are going this direction. That is true servant leadership.

[28:13] It's unpleasant. You're taking an unpleasant stance because God said so. Anyway, number eight, fear of being seen as a toxic male. Okay? If I start doing what God calls me to do, you know, people are going to start calling me a toxic male.

[28:29] You know, well, Paul says in Galatians 1.10, if I seek to, if I seek the approval of men, I cannot be a servant of Christ. Where's their orientation?

[28:40] They're oriented towards what people think. They're not oriented towards what God thinks. Number nine, fear of abusing authority. I think this is a legitimate fear.

[28:51] Okay? Okay? I'm a sinner. I'm going to screw it up. Okay? That's a legitimate fear. And there's, there's answers for this, but I'm just going to keep moving through this list.

[29:03] Lack of confidence. I don't have what it takes. Passivity. I don't care. Yeah, but you know, whatever. I don't care. Deception. Maybe you bought into the lie of feminism that equal value before God means equal roles and equal nature.

[29:18] It does not. It does not. Lack of the fear of God. We already kind of talked about that. Acts 5, 29, the disciples said, we should please God, not men.

[29:30] And if we fear God, it's going to help us take some of these truths in the Bible just kind of straight up. No chaser. I'm just going to believe what it says. Not operating like that.

[29:41] But we have to fear God. You can't fear what people think. We have to fear God. Maybe you're compromised by sin. Number 14, Proverbs 31, 3 speaks of giving your strength to women. Okay?

[29:52] And there's a couple different ways you can take that. But one is just essentially you're compromised by sin. If you're compromised by sin, you're not going to have the confidence to leave you. Sin saps your confidence.

[30:03] It yanks it right out. It leaves you insecure. Number 15, again, reasons why men abdicate the responsibility to lead and rule. No concern for the welfare of the sheep.

[30:14] Jesus said about the hired hands in John 10 that they flee when they see the wolf coming. Because they're in it for themselves. They don't really care about the sheep.

[30:25] He says the good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. He defends against the wolves. He's willing to sacrifice himself for the good of the sheep who have been entrusted to his care. because he actually loves them.

[30:37] He's not in it to save his own skin. He loves those sheep. He doesn't care how aggressive it comes off if he's chasing this wolf off because he loves the sheep. And the last one, number 16, because you've avoided submitting to authority yourself.

[30:53] Okay. You can't lead if you won't be led. There's a Roman centurion when he came up to Jesus, and I can't remember where this was, but he came up to Jesus, and he basically said, I'm a man under authority.

[31:07] And I say to such a one, go, and they go. And Jesus is like, man, I've never seen faith like this. And the whole point was, he's like, you don't need to come with me to go heal this person. You can just say it, and it'll happen.

[31:17] Because he understood divine authority. He's a man under authority. Therefore, those under him have to do what he says because he's submitted to authority. Okay.

[31:28] They're obeying not his authority as a man. They're obeying the authority that's above him, Caesar. That's why they obey him. He's not a rogue. He's under authority.

[31:40] Therefore, he has delegated authority. It works the same. Okay. So, if we can't submit to authority ourselves, we're in no place to exercise authority, really, in any area of our life.

[31:50] It'll be sacked. It's yanked out. We're trying to stand on our own authority rather than God's authority. Okay. So, those are some reasons why men abdicate the responsibility to lead and rule.

[32:02] So, now I'm going to give just some exhortations. Okay. These are just some practicals. We want to do this. Let's just start off with number one. We need to start by calling our attitude towards avoiding responsibility, Sid.

[32:21] We just need to call it Sid. That's what it is. It's sin. He man says, what is it? James 4, 17 says, therefore, to one who knows the right thing to do and does not do it to him it's sin.

[32:32] I hope, like, just at least some of these verses have communicated that this is the right thing. God wants this thing. So, if you know God wants it and you don't do it, it's sin.

[32:44] So, we just got to start off by calling it sin. It's not like avoidant tendencies or, you know, just a little insecure or whatever. No, it's just sin. I'm sinning against God because he gave me a responsibility and I'm avoiding it.

[32:56] We need to repent. Number two, we need to submit to Christ. Jesus Christ is the leader who enables you to lead like he does. Colossians 2, 10 says, in him, meaning Christ, you have been made complete and he is the head over all rule and authority.

[33:14] So, after we realize it's sin and we turn from it, we've got to be made complete. Jesus is our head. When we're connected to Jesus through faith, we are complete in him and he is the head over all rule and authority and he gives us the grace to do what he's calling us to do.

[33:30] Okay. Number three, this is related, we need to get our confidence from God. Okay. So, this speaks to just the, the hold up of just lack of confidence, like how do I even, I don't, you know, just, how do I do this?

[33:42] God calls men weakness. You know, Paul says, 2 Corinthians 12, I think, says, his power is made perfect in weakness.

[33:57] And you look, just the, the story arc of scripture, guy after guy after guy who calls, he calls in a state of weakness and not feeling like they can do the job.

[34:08] Moses just like, was obstinately refusing to do what God called him to do. It, his power is made perfect in weakness. Gideon, same deal. It's not Jeremiah. He says, you know, I'm just a youth.

[34:19] I can't, you know, speak. He's like, don't say that. Whatever I tell you, say it. All right. It's God's power perfected in our weakness. It's actually good to just face that head on and say, I just don't know how to do this.

[34:32] But you're calling me to do it. And he's going to give me the power to do it. Number four, start with yourself. Discipline your body and make it obey God. Proverbs 16, 32 says, he who rules his spirit is better than he who takes the city.

[34:48] We've been not given a spirit of fear, but power and love and self-control. The place to start is you. Okay? We are to bring our bodies under the control and rule of Jesus Christ through the Holy Spirit.

[35:02] We're saying no in our flesh. No. That is where rule starts is self-rule, a self-ruled man. Not by your own strength, but by the power of the Holy Spirit.

[35:14] Number five, learn to be led. Submit to God's ordained authority yourself. And this looks like a lot of things. We have authority all over. If you're a kid in your home, like you boys here in your homes, you've got to obey your parents.

[35:28] Ephesians 6 speaks of this. Elders in the church, Hebrews 13, 17 speaks of this. Your boss at work and government authorities, you know, Romans 13 speaks of this. Ephesians speaks of this.

[35:39] God, like these are not just kind of like, God, that's secular and, you know, church is like Jesus stuff, but like my job, you know. No, no, no.

[35:50] It's spiritual. It's worship. To submit to your boss out of reverence for Christ is worship and it trains us how to be led. It's good. So you can't call your wife to follow you and, and, and, and respect my authority.

[36:06] If you don't respect your boss, like it's just, that's just, it's a total hypocrisy. Show her, you know. I remember before we came to Bellicose, we spent a long season not going to church, being very rebellious and all that kind of stuff and, and I asked Julie, like, what if we still plant a church?

[36:23] You know. And she was like, I can't do that with you until I see that you are able to submit to other godly men in church.

[36:37] She's like, hmm, that's so hard. She literally just never seen me submit to anybody. It's just my way or the highway. Well, it's just godless.

[36:48] I mean, it's hypocrisy. I'm asking her to submit to me and obey this Bible verse and I will obey this Bible verse over here. So we've got to put off all that. We've got to say, okay, Lord, where are the divinely instituted authorities of my life?

[37:00] Help me start by just obeying them out of reverence for Christ. Okay, number six, related, be led by fathers in the church who know you.

[37:12] Not podcasters, not a Sunday morning pastor who don't actually know, doesn't actually know what your internet habits are. Paul says in 1 Corinthians 4.15, he says, For though you have countless guides in Christ, you do not have many fathers.

[37:28] For I became your father in Christ Jesus through the gospel. So this has to do with the subtype of, or the subcategory of learning to be led first.

[37:40] But God has ordained spiritual fathers in your life. Like our fathers, our earthly fathers, you know, have had, you know, various success rates with executing their earthly responsibilities to death.

[37:52] Okay? At the very best, they're sinners. And so they let us down, right? Well, there's actually a spiritual version of this that Paul talks about right here.

[38:02] It's spiritual fathers. Fathers for your new life, your second birth. Ones who share the gospel to you and help you come to the Lord. And they actually have a responsibility to make sure that when the last trump sounds, that's a crown for Jesus.

[38:22] Okay? It's like, I have a responsibility to my kids. Spiritual fathers have a responsibility to their kids. And he's exhorting them, like, relate to me as a father. Let me help you. So we need that.

[38:33] Number seven, don't be mom's helper. She's yours. I remember when Josh said this years ago, I was just like, it was like a revelation. It is just so easy to be mom's helper.

[38:48] And that's just your orientation. She's always got the to-do list. She's always got the things we need to do. She's got the schedule. She's got all the stuff and these needs. I'm just kind of like, all right, what's most? You know? And, like, making lists is not bad.

[39:01] Like, all that stuff is good, divinely ordered. But the orientation towards being mom's helper is ungodly. It's not good. It's not in line with her creative purpose.

[39:14] What was she made for? To be your helper. Now, when you stop being mom's helper and you don't have anything to do, that can actually be a good thing because you realize you just, you actually haven't led.

[39:29] You don't have a vision bigger than your family. You're just chasing the to-do list and you're being led by the mom. That's bad. You know, she starts to be you like a child too, by the way.

[39:39] And this affects your, your sex life. Okay? No woman wants to date her son. Okay? That's weird. But you start turning into that when your mom's helper.

[39:52] It's not good. Number eight, rule your household. Love your wife by leading her. Love your kids by disciplining. Nurture them. Love your wife by leading her.

[40:03] She needs to be led. Your kids need to be disciplined. Okay? That's part of how you love them. The Bible says, whoever withholds the rod hates his child. It's hatred. So love them by disciplining them.

[40:15] When they do something wrong, hey, like God doesn't let any sins lie. Period. You require a total accounting. Are you communicating something different about the character and nature of God in how you relate to your kids' disobedience?

[40:32] Number nine. Okay, I got a one here. Number nine, be the pastor of your home. You need to know the Bible. You need to teach your wife and kids. You need to disciple them. Okay? You have a primary responsibility to disciple your wife.

[40:43] Okay, Titus 2 speaks of older women teaching the younger women. That's a supplemental ministry. That is not the primary ministry. Ephesians 5 speaks of Christ washing the church with the word as the model for what a husband's supposed to do.

[40:59] You have a responsibility to disciple your wife. Like, how is she supposed to sit and not ask a question in church and instead ask you at home if you don't know the answer? You're supposed to be the guy who's devoted to understanding what this book says and excited to share it with your wife and disciple her.

[41:16] It's your job. So don't outsource that. Don't outsource her discipleship to women's ministries. Okay? They are awesome if you're doing their job. They're illegal if you're not.

[41:29] Same goes with kids. Raise them in wisdom and aptitude of the Lord like it says and we're commanded to in Ephesians 6.4. Teach them his word diligently like Deuteronomy 6.7 says. Again, you have the primary responsibility to disciple your kids and teach them what God says.

[41:47] Sunday school is awesome if it's supplemental. Youth group is awesome if it's supplemental. But at best, it can only be that. What they believe about God is going to be directly informed by how you believe it by what you make a priority in your home.

[42:05] Okay, number 10. Make decisions. Decisiveness is a blessing. Indecision kills confidence in your leadership and makes your family anxious. If you're not making hard decisions, that means it's on them.

[42:18] That's anxiety producing. Don't do that. Make decisions. Love your wife and get her decisive. Okay? Communicate. Live with her in an understanding way. Take in all the information and lovingly make decisions.

[42:29] It's a relief. It's a blessing. You're blessing your wife when you make decisions. Okay. Number 11. Rule your finances to provide for your family. 1 Timothy 5.8 says that if a man doesn't provide for his own, especially the members of his own house, he's denied the faith and he's worse than an unbeliever.

[42:46] Okay. So maybe you're not actually good at finances. Let's start there. Let's rule over them. Know how much money you make. Know how much money it requires to pay the bills and to supply everything the Bible teaches you ought to supply, which is actually quite a bit.

[43:01] The Old Testament has a lot of details on what a man is required to supply his wife. Can you do that? Well, you need to know. You need to rule your finances.

[43:11] You need to know that you can provide as God has commanded us to. Number 12. Protect your family. Don't let other people make decisions for you and your family. You do it. Okay?

[43:22] You make the decisions. Don't just let, you know, so-and-so need over here and a strong personality over there just steer your family all over the place. Like, take in the information, consult with your wife, but you make the decisions.

[43:37] You decide what your family does. Don't be a slave of other people's strong desires. It's not good. Even if they're good desires. If you're not the one having agency in that, it's not good.

[43:51] Number 13. You need to forgive your dad. Okay? You need to forgive your dad and know that Christ has redeemed you from his failures of leadership. This comes from 1 Peter 1.8. It says that we were redeemed from the futile ways we inherited from our fathers.

[44:04] This is an awesome truth. Okay? We've got to forgive our dad. Okay? Our kids are going to have to forgive us. We need to forgive our dad. And we also need to remember that I'm not doomed to repeat the same mistakes my dad did.

[44:19] Because I was bought with the precious blood of Jesus and I was given a totally clean slate, a fresh slate of expectation of good.

[44:32] Number 14. If you're unmarried, you should pursue a woman and lead her like Christ leads the church. That comes from Ephesians 5. You need a helper. It's not good for the man to be alone. God does call some men to be eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom.

[44:47] But that's not the norm. There's exceptions to everything. But that's not the norm. Number 15. Jesus is the example. We've said this already. Don't be passive.

[44:57] Jesus was not passive. Don't follow a woman. Jesus did not follow women. He cared for women. He did not follow them. Don't be a people-pleasing beta male. Okay?

[45:08] Jesus was not that. He was not a people-pleasing beta male. He wasn't. Not a single one of us should be that. Our example is Jesus Christ.

[45:20] He lived to please God. He had a vertical orientation. He had a palm line that says, whatever my Father says, that's what I'm going to do. And that is our creative purpose is to live like that with our high priest Jesus being the example.

[45:35] So we were like who have questions like, what does that look like? A lot of times you can just read the Gospels and you can find an example of what that looks like. Put some flesh on. Last is lead in preaching the Gospel and making disciples, advancing the rule of Christ over all.

[45:51] The Kingdom of God is advancing. It says that from the days of John the Baptist till now, the Kingdom of Heaven suffers violence and violent men lay hold of it by force. The way we lay hold of the Kingdom of God, in addition to these things bringing rule in our areas of responsibility, is advancing that through the Gospel.

[46:09] We preach the Gospel in the context of the local church partnering together in the gates of hell. Don't prevail against it. And we take territory for the Kingdom of God in the souls of men.

[46:21] And we advance His rule. And that is a way we can advance dominion. We are called to rule the earth, to take dominion. Well, there's a fulfillment of that in the Gospel and in the Great Commission.

[46:34] We are going out. We're not waiting for people to come to us. We are going to them. We're going to find them. We're going to preach the Gospel to them. And when they repent of their sins and put their faith in Jesus, they come under the rule of Jesus Christ.

[46:48]  And we can teach them this stuff.