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[0:00] Amen. Welcome to have a seat and good morning. Pastor Jay and I often will tease each other! In looking at the preaching calendar and determining when we will go on vacation based on the text! That is that pre-following Sunday because we know if I'm on vacation I'm not going to preach that Sunday.

[0:25] And today just happens to be one of those texts that I think Jay took his vacation on purpose. And so because our text opens with today wives submit to your husbands. And so I think he did that on purpose and but we will enjoy this the word of the Lord together today. I do want to take the time to read our text before we get into the message and before I do so I want us to remind ourselves where we find ourselves in the book of Colossians. If you're new or a guest with us today the book of Colossians opens with this marvelous portrait of Christ. He is he is amazing. He is God. He is unfathomable. And this portrait of Christ that Paul paints is incredible. He is the head of the body, the church. He delivered us from the dominion of darkness and transferred us into the kingdom of light. This portrait of Christ that Paul paints is truly amazing. So then he turns his attention then and says okay then how then does the church walk out honoring Christ the amazing Christ of who he is? How do you do that? And how does each entity order itself? And today we find ourselves in a text that we were to order ourselves in the home a certain way. And so with that in mind if you have a copy of scripture together with you let's read Colossians chapter 3 and we will begin in verse 18 is our text for today. Continuing through chapter 4 verse 1.

[2:14] Verse 18. Wives submit to your husbands as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands love your wives and do not be harsh with them. Children obey your parents in everything for this pleases the Lord. Fathers do not provoke your children lest they become discouraged. Bondservants obey in everything those who are your earthly masters not by the way of eye service or as people pleasers but with sincerity of heart fearing the Lord. And whatever you do work heartily as unto the Lord not for men knowing that from the Lord you will receive an inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ for whatever for the wrongdoer will be paid back for the wrong that he has done and there is no partiality. Masters treat your bondservants justly as fairly and fairly knowing that you will receive heaven. I'm sorry knowing that you also have a master in heaven.

[3:16] I want us to see in this text that this we're supposed to order our homes a certain way our homes are to be ordered a certain way.

[3:26] And I want us to see that what Paul does here is he speaks to the one in the subordinate role and then he speaks to the one in the authority role. So he begins with wives and then he speaks to husbands. He speaks to children.

[3:43] Then he speaks to fathers. He speaks to the bond servant or slave. Then he speaks to the master. And so why does our text open speaking to wives is because this is his pattern he's going to set forth.

[3:55] This is what he's going to do. Secondly, households more than than in today were seen as an economic unit.

[4:08] So it's interesting here we would disassociate slave and master from the household. But in the first century, the household was seen also as an economic unit.

[4:23] So we are, we grow olives. My family grows olives in the first century. My family grows olives.

[4:34] And so everyone participates in the olive growing endeavor and producing olive oil and all that olives are used for. We would produce that. Children would be involved in that. Slaves and masters would be involved in that.

[4:49] Household servants, everyone's involved in this economic force that is the household. So it's not out of order that slaves and masters would be included in this context because of that.

[5:01] That the household unit, the household was seen also as an economic unit. Okay. I will admit when I began the message for today, I finished it and I thought, there's no way I'm going to communicate all of this in one message unless we're here until three o'clock.

[5:28] So I'm going to spare you and I think I'm just going to talk today to husbands and wives. We're not going to get to children and fathers, slaves and masters. That may be for a different day. Tomorrow or next Sunday.

[5:42] Tomorrow. Yeah, see you tomorrow at 10. No. What I want to speak to first, since all of this is understood in the context of authority and submission, I wanted to try to illustrate where do we get these concepts?

[6:02] Where does that come from? If that's how a well-ordered home is to be, well, where does this come from? I'm going to make the argument that authority and submission is an eternal order.

[6:14] It's how God has ordered himself. It's how he relates to himself. We worship one God in three persons and in those three persons, they order themselves in an authority and submission structure.

[6:28] The Bible teaches us that we worship one God. There is only one God. And he is eternally existing, fully and simultaneously expressed in three persons, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

[6:43] Each member of the Godhead is equally God, and each eternally God, and each fully God. There are not three gods, but three persons of the one Godhead.

[6:56] And each person, while equal in essence, possessing identical and eternal divine nature, yet each of them also express an eternal and distinct personal expression of the undivided divine nature.

[7:13] I know that that's a little theological in speech, but it's important to understand that God is the same in essence and nature. All three persons of the Godhead are the same in essence and nature.

[7:27] So then you have to ask yourself then this question. How do you then tell them apart? If they're identical in essence and nature, one is not less powerful than the other.

[7:40] The Father is not more powerful than the Son or the Holy Spirit. They're all omnipotent. All omniscient. So how do you then tell them apart?

[7:53] I'm going to suggest to you the way you can tell them apart is their authority structure. One is an authority, the other submits. And their role determines the relationship that they have with one another, which determines their responsibility and defines the responsibility each member of the Godhead has.

[8:17] And I'm going to make the argument in a minute that that divine, eternal way of relating that God does is then imprinted on the home and says, now this is how I want you to order your home.

[8:29] It didn't come out of anywhere that just, scripture is just written and then all of a sudden wives are to submit to their husbands. It didn't just come out of nowhere. It has always existed.

[8:42] This authority or submission way of relating has existed since God who is eternal. I want to show us the supremacy of the Father.

[8:57] So I'm going to do a quick little study of the Godhead. God in three persons, Father, Son, Holy Spirit, just to kind of help us appreciate the beauty of who God is.

[9:08] Look with me in Revelation 5, 9. I think this scripture should be on the screen. The word of the Lord says this. This is speaking of the four creatures and the 24 elders.

[9:20] In the future state. It says, They sang a new song saying, Worthy are you to take the scroll and to open its seals, for you were slain, and by your blood I'm going to stop.

[9:38] Who is this that it's speaking to? Worthy are you to take the scroll, to open its seals, for you were slain. What member of the Godhead are we speaking about? Jesus and his blood being shed.

[9:50] And he ransomed people. But notice who the Son ransomed people for. For God from every tribe and language and people and nation.

[10:04] But who is the God that is spoken of? Or what person of the Godhead is spoken of is for God. So you have one member of the Godhead opening, who's worthy to open the scrolls and open the seals.

[10:19] Who's worthy to do that? The Son. He's the one who was slain. He was the one whose blood was shed. But he did that to ransom a people for the Father.

[10:29] And so we see this beautiful supremacy of the Father in this one verse. When we look, we get to see two members of the Godhead in this one verse.

[10:39] We turn to Matthew. And we further see the supremacy of the Father. Jesus is speaking to his disciples.

[10:50] And they ask him how to pray. And so he says, pray like this. And he says, O Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come. Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

[11:02] Jesus is saying, pray to the Father. Father, he's the one. He's the supreme member of the Godhead. He's the one in ultimate authority here.

[11:14] The Son submits to the Father. Pray to him. So Jesus instructing his disciples to pray to the Father. In fact, all members of the Godhead are involved in prayer.

[11:26] How is this? We are told to direct our prayers to the Father. But how do we have access to the Father? Through the Son. And how are our prayers energized? Empowered by the Holy Spirit.

[11:38] So we pray to the Father. Through the Son. Empowered by the Holy Spirit. That's what we do when we pray. But we direct our prayers to the Father. Because he's in the role of supremacy.

[11:53] And the Son is not insulted. That he is not to be the one whose prayers are to be directed. He's like, yeah. Pray to the Father.

[12:03] I don't know why. I'm equally God. Just go ahead. He's not put out by that. But look also. The delight of the Father is all.

[12:18] Now we have God the Father's perspective on his Son. And look at the delight. After. In Philippians chapter 2.

[12:28] We see that Jesus. He was obedient to the point. Even to the point of death on the cross. That's the immediately preceding verse. In verse 8. So we see Jesus is the one who went to the cross.

[12:42] And then it says. Therefore God has highly exalted him. So now what members of the Godhead are we talking about? Therefore the Father has highly exalted the Son. And bestowed on him the Son.

[12:54] A name that is above every name. So that at the name Jesus every knee shall bow. And in heaven and on earth and under the earth. And the tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord. Lord. Look at the delight of the Father.

[13:08] He's like. I want to shine the spotlight on my Son. Look what he did. He ransomed a people. He paid the price for sin. Look at him.

[13:19] Isn't he wonderful? And that's the Father's attitude toward the Son. But then the Son says. Oh no, no, no, no. But I'm not the one who should receive glory. This is all part of a divine master plan.

[13:31] And so the verse concludes with. To the glory of the Father. So the Father spotlights the Son. And the Son says. Oh. But isn't he wonderful?

[13:43] All that glory should go to him. It's beautiful. A pastor.

[13:54] A preacher. Someone who proclaims God's word. Should never say the words. I think. Because it's not my job. To give you my estimation. Or my opinion. My job is to herald the truth of God's word.

[14:06] And not tell you what I think. But I'm going to tell you what I think. Okay. So when I say that. And you should never do that.

[14:17] But I want to also say then. What I'm about to say. We can't really say authoritatively. Okay. I have illustrated biblically. So this much we know. That before the incarnation of Christ.

[14:31] Before Jesus condescended to earth. Took on humanity. Died for sin. And the rest of it. Rose from the grave. Prior to the descension of the Son.

[14:44] Taking on human form. We know that he did that in obedience to the Father. So at this point. In history. We can go back that far. Before the birth of Christ. That there was authority and submission in the Godhead.

[14:57] And we see. In the eternal state. The four creatures. And the 24 elders. Giving. We see the authority structure there. In the eternal state. Here's what we don't know authoritatively.

[15:11] And I'm going to share with you what I think. What I don't know is. How far. Before the incarnation of Christ. Did the members of the Godhead. Submit to themselves. Okay. That's what we don't really.

[15:21] It's not all that clear. So this is where I'm going to say. I think. So it's not authoritative. But here's what I want us to see. In John 3.16.

[15:33] One of the. Most memorized verses. In scripture. I want us to consider this. When we think about the members of the Godhead. For God so loved the world.

[15:46] That he gave his son. So who. What member of the Godhead. Are we talking about. When we talk about. For God. So loved the world. The father. The father. Loved the world.

[15:59] That he gave his son. That whoever believes in him. Should not perish. But have eternal life. For God did not. Send his son. So there's. There's a member of the Godhead.

[16:11] The father. Who did not. Send his son. Into the world. To condemn the world. But in order that the world. Might be saved through him. So. But. But you have the father.

[16:23] Sending the son. So we know. That that happened. At the incarnation. And so. Now I want to press back. A little bit more. Into time. And think. How far back. Into the eternal order.

[16:34] Is the father. Son. Holy Spirit. Relating. In an authoritative way. And this is where I'm saying. I think. Because you can't know. We don't know. But I want to make the argument.

[16:45] That. Perhaps they've always existed this way. They've always related to each other this way. And here's why I think that. We know in scripture. When we. We know in scripture.

[16:58] When. Jesus says. He is the lamb that was slain. Before the foundation of the world. So. Time out. Before the foundation of the world. Then.

[17:08] Means creation. So. Before creation. In the heart of the son. He was the lamb slain. Before the foundation of the world. We also looked at last week.

[17:19] That. He chose us in him. Before the foundation of the world. There's a lot going on in the Godhead. Before the foundation of the world. Of the things that are going on. Is Jesus.

[17:30] Has purposed in his heart. To say. I'll go. I'll be the one. Who will be the lamb that will. Is slain. But who is the one. Who sends him to do that.

[17:42] The father. So. My. My. Think. Is. That is not authoritative. Is. Perhaps.

[17:53] Even. In the eternal state. God has. Related to. Himself. The different members of the Godhead. In an authoritative. And submissive role.

[18:04] So when he creates. Adam and Eve. He creates this. Entity. As husband. And wife. And the husband is to lead. And the wife is to submit. But that didn't come out of nowhere.

[18:16] God's always related to himself. This way. Okay. I pray. In the verses we looked at.

[18:28] And so far. You have marveled. At the love that the father has. Toward the son. I pray that you marveled.

[18:38] At the love and the obedience. The son had to the father. I pray that you marvel. At the unity and diversity. Of the father son. Holy spirit. I pray that you marvel. At the universe.

[18:49] Unity. And the harmony. Of the father son. Holy spirit. And I pray that you marvel. And honor. Marvel at the honor. That the father gives.

[19:00] The son. And I pray that we also. Would marvel. At the submission. Of the son. To the father. Our earthly relationships.

[19:11] Where we honor. Authority. And willingly submit. Are imprinted. On the very nature. Of who God is. God.

[19:24] So when I think about. Well how do you distinguish. What members of the Godhead. We're talking about. I. Again. I want to. I want to. Give you the three R's.

[19:35] I'm going to alliterate. With three words. That all begin with R. The thing that can distinguish. The members of the Godhead. Are the roles. The relationship. With one another.

[19:46] That those roles. Then define. And the responsibilities. That are given. To each. Member of the Godhead. That is determined. By their role. So then.

[19:58] If men and women. Are then created equal. How are they to relate. To each other. What's going to distinguish. Men and women. Have both.

[20:10] Equal. They are. Have immeasurable value. And worth. And dignity. Incomprehensible worth. Men. Are not better than women.

[20:21] Women are not better than men. We're equal. So then. Why does one. Have to submit. To the other. Because. It's God's divine design. And imprint.

[20:31] That exists. In the very nature of God. As to why we do this. That is. A well-ordered way. Of society. You know this. Look at.

[20:43] With me. In 1st Corinthians. 13. Verse 3. Perhaps. This verse. Is on the screen too. But it says this. But I want you to understand. That the head of every man. And in the semantic sense.

[20:55] This is talking about a husband. From it. The head of every husband. Is Christ. The head of. Every wife. Is the husband. And the head of. Christ. Is God. God. This is just the way.

[21:05] That the Lord. Ordered. Different relationships. Humanly speaking. To relate to each other. As Christ. The son. Relates to the father. The head of Christ. Is the father.

[21:16] And so. The wife. Her husband. And so. Then it helps us. Understand. When we get to our text. Today. Why it opens up. With then. Talking to the one. In the submissive role.

[21:28] And then he'll speak. To the one. In the authority role. He opens up. Our text today. Saying wives. Now. Submit to your husbands. As is fitting to the Lord. I would argue.

[21:49] That. It is. It is easy. To talk about. Authority. And submission. In the Godhead. Because God is holy. And pure.

[21:59] And matchless. In his perfections. But when it comes. To earthly humans. Who have sinned. I would argue. The principle. Is still good. And perfect.

[22:10] And true. But the outworking. Is often flawed. There are rightful ways. To submit. And wrongful ways. To submit. There are rightful. Portraits of husbands.

[22:21] And there are wrongful. Portraits of husbands. And there are wrongful. Portraits of husbands. I also want to say. Before we get too far in this. That wives are called. To submit to their husbands.

[22:32] This is not a general call. To all women. To generally submit. To all men. So what is a definition? I'm going to give us. A workable. Hopeful definition.

[22:43] Of submission. And then. That is. And then we will. It will speak more broadly. Submission is this. To voluntarily. Order.

[22:54] Oneself. Or place. Oneself. Under the rightful. Authority. And leadership. Of another. Let me repeat that. To voluntarily. Order.

[23:05] Oneself. And place. Oneself. Under the rightful. Authority. And leadership. Of another. In this case. When it talks about. A wife. Submitting to her husband.

[23:15] It would. You could read it this way. To voluntarily. What is the call. To wives. It is this. To voluntarily. Order. Herself. And place.

[23:26] Herself. Under the rightful. Authority. And leadership. Of her husband. We acknowledge. The benefits. Of authority. And submission. In other contexts. It's really easy.

[23:36] To see. In other contexts. Can you imagine. A military. Campaign. Where every. Soldier. Just did. What was right. In their own eyes. I would.

[23:46] I would imagine. That would be a disaster. We. We recently sent. America sent. I think it was six. B2 bombers.

[23:57] To Iran. And can you imagine. All those B2 bombers. Just saying. Ah. Is it Iran? I feel like. Some island. In the Pacific. You know.

[24:08] And just. They're going to bomb that. And. What time. Are we supposed to arrive. All at the same time. And bomb. I think. I'm just going to go at 10. I want my sleep. Or whatever. It would be disastrous.

[24:20] And it's easy to see this. If it were not so tragic. It made you want to grab popcorn. And watch the TV. When in Seattle.

[24:31] In 2020. The Chaz. Capitol Hill. Autonomous Zone. Declared its own independence. And you think. Wow. There's some rebellion there. And you just wanted to eat your popcorn.

[24:42] And go. I wonder how this is going to go. But it's. Again. It was so tragic. Can you imagine. In your workplace. Your employer.

[24:52] Has a job. You have an owner. To respond to. And that owner. Wants widgets to make. Or a service to be provided. And everyone just does what is right. In their own eyes.

[25:03] And chooses to do what they want. A fire department. A police department. If there's no authority. And submission. What would end up. Would be. Total lawlessness. Chaos.

[25:14] And anarchy. We know this. To be true. It's easy to see. In other contexts. And here. He appeals.

[25:25] To free agents. Wives. To voluntarily. Submit themselves. To the rightful. Authority. That their husbands. Possess. The term.

[25:37] Does not suggest. Slavery. Or servitude. And it never calls. For the husband. To make. By external force. The wife. To submit. Submission.

[25:49] Is a voluntary. Act. It is to place. One's self. Under the authority. Of another. It is between. You. And the Lord. No one.

[25:59] Is making you. Submit. To your husband. It is on you. To do so. The wife. Is called. To submit. And this is. For her particular. Role. Because this is.

[26:10] How God. Has ordained. The family. To be ordered. Lord. It is for her. It is for her. It is for her. Blessing. It is for her. Safety. It is for her. Protection. And not for abuse.

[26:23] And we'll get to the husbands. In a minute. Christ. This is not arbitrary. This is how God. Has designed it. From the very beginning. In creation. You can read.

[26:33] Ephesians 5. First Corinthians 11. Second. First Peter 3. This is how God. Has ordered things. Since creation. Back with Adam and Eve. Marriage. Itself. Also.

[26:45] Why is this not arbitrary? It's. The. Design. Since creation. It is. Secondly. It is a portrait. Of a relationship. Between Christ. And the church. Husbands.

[26:55] Love your wives. As Christ. Loved the church. Ephesians 5. So. Just as the church. Submits to Christ. It is just as the wife. Is to submit to her husbands. And ladies in Christ.

[27:06] You know this. How important. This is. The third thing. I would say. Why this is not arbitrary. Is. I find it interesting. In Titus chapter 2. That of the many things.

[27:17] That older women. In the church. Are to teach. Younger women. Of the many things. That she is to teach. Of them. It is how to subject yourself. To your husband. Is one of the many things.

[27:28] Older women. Are to teach younger women. In the church. This idea of submission. Is not hard to understand. It is just hard to obey. For all.

[27:41] Especially. To a man. A mere man. A sinful man. And your man. So there is one word.

[27:51] Of encouragement. If there is an objection. One thing. That can solicit. Is fear. And the fear.

[28:04] Of losing control. But I want to argue. That. You are never in control. To begin with. God ordains. God providentially.

[28:15] Works out. His will. Through circumstances. And you willingly. Submit yourself. To the Lord. Who is in control. He is enthroned. Even over your husband. The phrase.

[28:28] As is fitting in the Lord. Has implications. First. I think it is just. God. He is. Paul is making the argument. This is the divine design. This is the imprint. From the eternal.

[28:39] Godhead. This. This. It is fitting in the Lord. This is how. I have ordered. Things. Divinely. It is fitting in the Lord. Secondly. Though. It is fitting in the Lord.

[28:51] Meaning that. This is a timeless truth. Wives being submitted. To their husbands. Is good for all times. For all. Cultures. In every year. This is how.

[29:02] God has ordered. The family. Humanity. Will never evolve. To a place. Where the family structure. That God has ordained. Is archaic. Or unnecessary. This is how.

[29:14] God has designed it. As is fitting in the Lord. It's maybe helpful. To understand. Also. That there are. Perhaps. Two exceptions. This is not in our text.

[29:25] But let me share with you this. You say. Well Scott. Is there an exception? I can think of two.

[29:39] First. If your husband. Invites you. To do something. That is sinful. You have the freedom. To obey. A greater authority. Who is God.

[29:50] You're submitting to your husband. To honor the Lord. So. You're submitting to him. And this is fitting in the Lord. But. To sin. Would not be fitting in the Lord. And so.

[30:00] Please do not. Obey. A husband. Who is inviting you. To sin. You say. Well what does that look like? What could that look like? A number of things. But I know of. Dear ladies.

[30:11] Who. Are married to someone. Who. Whose husband. Would wish. They not attend church. And. But the Lord has said. Do not forsake.

[30:22] The assembling of yourselves together. For those of us. Who are in Christ. And so. She goes without her husband. Second. If he asks you. To do something.

[30:32] That violates your conscience. Your. To violate your conscience. Would be sinful. Therefore. That would not be. Fitting in the Lord. And thirdly.

[30:44] I would say. If you are in real. Physical danger. And he's. Asking of you. To do things. That put you in real. Physical danger. I want to.

[30:54] Invite you to do. Three things. Seek law enforcement. Talk to the elders. And then thirdly. I'd love to surround you. With older women. Who can help.

[31:06] As well. But you say. But what. What about Scott. Is. My husband. Who's disobedient. I want us to consider. First. Peter three.

[31:17] One through six. And this is a hard text. Likewise. Wives. Be subject to your own husbands. So the same topic. So that even if some. Do not obey the word.

[31:28] So there's your disobedient husband. So that even some. Husbands. Do not obey the word. They may be. One. Without a word.

[31:39] By your. The conduct of their wives. When they see your respectful. And pure conduct. And let your adorning. Be eternal.

[31:50] The braiding of hair. And the putting on gold jewelry. And the clothing. You wear. There. And then it continues. On. But let your adorning. Be with a hidden person. Of the heart. With the imperishable beauty.

[32:01] Of a gentle and quiet spirit. Which. In God's sight. Is very precious. For this is how holy women. Have hoped in God. Used to adorn themselves.

[32:12] By submitting themselves. To their husbands. As Sarah obeyed. Abraham. Calling him Lord. And. You are her children. If you do good.

[32:25] And do not fear. Anything. That is frightening. Submission to husbands. Even when they are disobedient. To God. They maybe fail. To protect you. Fail to provide. Fail. To be harsh with you.

[32:36] And harsh in actions. And fail to honor Christ. And be extremely difficult. To work with. Peter is not making an exception. In this case. And he is saying. The aim. Is that.

[32:48] Like for all of us. The aim. Is that the gospel. Would go forward. And people would be redeemed. And repent. And embrace Christ. And your conduct.

[32:58] As a wife. Is that gospel. Presentation to him. So. Let me conclude.

[33:09] With a word. To single ladies. No. Let me stop. There. If you find yourself. In a difficult marriage. And you have a husband.

[33:21] Who is disobedient. I encourage you. To do two things. Could you. Please. Share with. One of us. As pastors. Or elders. Would love to help you. And then.

[33:31] Also. There are a number. Of ladies. Who have. Difficult marriages. And. I would love. For those older ladies. To help. A younger lady. Understand.

[33:42] How to do that. And so. Please find me. One of the pastors. We would love. To come alongside of you. Because we recognize. That you're in a very vulnerable spot. Okay.

[33:53] For all those. Who may be single. Ladies. In the room. Who have the freedom. To marry. What would I say? If you're. When you become. Maybe interested.

[34:04] In a man. As a potential spouse. I would ask yourself. These questions. Does he love the Lord. With all of his heart. Soul. Mind.

[34:15] And strength. Because. The Lord. Is his authority. And he's going to answer. To him. And he needs to have. To. For you to. Feel.

[34:26] Eager. To submit to him. You need to know. My husband. Answers to his authority. Keenly. Second. Does he willingly.

[34:39] Love. And yield himself. To the authority. Of the Lord. In his word. Does. Does he have. The behavior. Of one. That also has. An authority. And he yields.

[34:50] To the Lord. All the time. Does he seek. To honor the Lord. In all that he does. In words. And actions. Does he possess. Godly character.

[35:01] Does he honestly. Take delight. In the love of the Lord. And then I'm going to. Ask this question. Is he harsh. With you or others. Because we're going to get. To the husbands. In a second. And it says. Do not be harsh.

[35:12] With them. So is he harsh. With you. Or others. And such that. You can say. To yourself. I can envision.

[35:23] Myself. Joyfully. Submitting myself. To him. All the days. Of my earthly life. If he. If your answers. Are no. To those questions. He does not delight himself.

[35:34] He doesn't love the Lord. He is harsh. All those kinds of things. He is not worth marrying. And let him grow up. Or just grow old. As single. Red flag.

[35:49] Because. The design is beautiful. And ladies thrive. In this environment. When it's beautifully done. Okay. Husbands.

[36:01] Next verse reads. Husbands. Love your wives. And do not be harsh. With them. I hate. Having concluded. Encouraging wives. To live. With disobedient husbands.

[36:13] Because that ought not. To be so. I pray. Husbands. As I was sharing. With the wives. You realize. And appreciate. The vulnerable place.

[36:23] That your wife is in. I pray. Husbands. That we would be. The kinds of men. That your wife. Would take delight. In submitting to. Knowing that you have. Her good.

[36:34] You have her well-being. On the forefront. Of your mind. You have your children's good. And their well-being. On the forefront. Of the mind. Knowing that you desire. To fill the role.

[36:45] That you have. As a protector. And a provider. And one who leads. His family spiritually. Let me.

[36:56] Deliberately. Misread. The verse. For effect. And I'm deliberately. Misreading this. Husbands. Ensure your wife. Submits to you.

[37:07] Is that the call. Of the husband? No. Husbands. Are never told. To ensure their wives. Submit to them. Because that is a voluntary act. On behalf of the wife.

[37:18] The husband. The husbands. Are not commanded. To ensure submission. Husbands. Are commanded. To love. Your command. Is to love. That's what you're commanded. To do. Your home.

[37:29] Is to reflect. The gospel. Is to display. Christ's unfading. Unrelenting. Forgiving. Selfless love. For the church. Husbands. Christ gave himself. Up for his bride. This.

[37:39] Consider for a second. What Christ did. For his bride. The church. He laid down his life. For his bride. He sacrificed himself. For the bride. He suffered. For his bride.

[37:49] And that is your portrait. For marriage. And that is what you're called. To do. When you love her. Sacrifice. Suffer. Lay down. Your life. And this word.

[38:02] For love. Is the verbal form. For agape. And that word. Agape love. Is the love. That God has. For his people. That is unconditional. Why is this significant?

[38:13] It is this kind of love. That does not find. Its motivation. In the loveliness. Of the one being loved. This kind of love. Does not. Motivated. By the worthiness. Of the one being loved.

[38:25] This kind of love. Is. Does not. Find its motivation. In the deservingness. Of the one being loved. I was not deserving. I was not worthy.

[38:36] And I was not lovely enough. For Christ to display his love. Toward me. But he did. And so husbands. Are called to love their wives. That way. It is this kind of love.

[38:50] That overcomes sin. It is this kind of love. That overcomes being harmed. Or hurt. Or being wronged. It is this kind of love. That gives itself.

[39:01] Toward the enemy. And the ungodly. And the undeserving people. A husband's love. Then. Is not dependent. Upon who she is.

[39:13] It is not dependent. Upon what she does. It is not dependent. Upon any of these things. It's not dependent. Upon what she accomplishes.

[39:23] Or what she is capable of. Upon who she responds to. You. It is not dependent. Upon the tone of her voice. It is not dependent. Upon how she makes you feel.

[39:34] It is not dependent. Upon whether she sinned. Against you. Or did you wrong. It is not dependent. Upon whether she willingly. Submits to you. That doesn't.

[39:45] Has no bearing. On your capacity. And your calling. And your command. To love her. Husbands who are in Christ.

[39:57] It is that kind of love. That from your savior. He demonstrated. That kind of love. To you. Towards you. Very perfectly. Love is not a feeling.

[40:08] That comes over you. That would just ruin Hollywood. Love is not a feeling. That comes over you. But it is an action. That comes out of you.

[40:19] You are commanded to love. It is your choice. It is your commitment. And obedience to the Lord. To love your wife. You will probably never.

[40:31] Be given the opportunity. To lay down your life. For your wife. And family. Physically. But you do have the opportunity. Daily. To die to yourself.

[40:43] Put away something you want to do. And love your family. Love your wife. You will have opportunity. To do that. In the next hour. The verse continues.

[40:57] Husbands. Love your wives. And do not be harsh with them. The amount of damage. That can be done.

[41:08] To a wife. Is commensurate. With the amount of good. That could be done. If you chose to love. And God intended. For you to do. Is to love her.

[41:18] And that damage. Can be done. Through your harshness. With her. And the warning. Is not to be harsh. It can be translated like.

[41:29] Do not become bitter. Or embittered. Toward her. Do not be harsh. And the words. And actions. That can be weaponized. For your gain. Are not to be mentioned. To manipulate your wife.

[41:41] And getting what you want. Is a pernicious form. Of control. It is an embitterment. That you may use. With physical force.

[41:54] Slamming of doors. Throwing objects. Around the house. Are all utilizing. Is a method. That you may utilize. To communicate.

[42:05] And you are communicating. This to your wife. If you persist. You're next. Next. Next. Does your embitterment.

[42:20] Look like silence. You just shudder out. Of your life. Does your embitterment. And harshness. Toward. One's wife. Take.

[42:30] It could take. A number of forms. All of it. Is deplorable. No matter what. The form is. And it's sinful. Being harsh. With one's wife. Is sin. One day.

[42:42] You will answer. To the Lord. For being harsh. With your wife. What you think.

[42:52] You may be getting away with. In the privacy. Of your home. Will one day. Be public. And be fully known. And answered. To the Lord. You will be judged. None of us.

[43:09] Will get away. With treating. One of God's daughters. That way. Your wife. Is to be treated. As a treasure. He who finds a wife.

[43:19] Finds a good thing. We're told in Proverbs. She is thought. To be thought of. As a precious gift. From the Lord. She is to be precious. In your sight. An overwhelming.

[43:30] Sense of gratitude. That the Lord. Has allowed you. The privilege. To be married. To that woman. What a blessing. What a treat. She is a gift.

[43:40] From the Lord. First Peter. Men. We are called. To not just. Love her. But it also is. To show honor. To her. To show honor.

[43:52] To her. Often. Wives. Are better at. Understanding. Their husbands. And yet. In first Peter. It is the husband. That the. That the Lord calls.

[44:03] To understand. His wife. Live with your wives. In an understanding way. So let me then. Conclude with. A note. To single men.

[44:15] Who may be fine. Or maybe in this room. Who have the freedom. To marry. A word to you. Are you ready.

[44:25] To lead your wife. And your children. In the Lord. Am I ready. Am I already. Leading myself. Unto the Lord. Am I eager.

[44:36] To joyfully work. To see. That work. Is a privilege. And to provide. For my family. All the days. Of my life. Do you have a job. And can you keep it. I am eager.

[44:53] Is your heart attitude. I am eager. To protect my family. Spiritually. Emotionally. Physically. Then. After you answer. Those questions. You may answer this.

[45:03] As asked this question. Is the gal. I am interested. Yielded. To the Lordship. In her life. And. Is she responsive. To my loving leadership. But I have a caveat here.

[45:14] A girlfriend. And a fiance. Is never called. To submit. To her boyfriend. Or fiance. Only husbands. And wives. But I ask. This question. Because. That is something.

[45:26] That is commonly. That I hear. As a tension point. Well she doesn't seem. To be responsive. To my leadership. To that. I want to say to you. Boyfriends. Fiances. This. Before you blame her.

[45:39] It may. Should. Give you. A reason. To pause. And reflect. How yielded. You are. To the Lordship. In your life. Of Christ. In your life. Is your leadership.

[45:51] One that is self-sacrificing. Is your leadership. One that is saturated. With love. Is this. Are you. Harsh. With others. Do you exemplify.

[46:01] The virtues. That we earlier found. In Colossians. Of compassion. Put on compassion. Compassion. Hearts. Kindness. Humility. Meekness. Patience. Love. And before. You blame.

[46:12] The one you are dating. And think that she is not responding. To your leadership. Ask yourself. Do I initiate. I am. To be. The leader. The one who initiates.

[46:24] Do you initiate. Do you initiate. Selfless conversations. Do you initiate. Selfless decision making. Do you initiate. Selflessly. Not for your own gain.

[46:38] Then after answering these questions. You can consider. Other things. Can I envision. Myself. Yourself.

[46:49] As a single man. Loving this woman. Selflessly. No matter. Her treatment. Of me. All the days. Of my life. There is nothing.

[47:00] More attractive. Than a godly man. Whose affections. Are for Christ. Are unquenchable. Whose desire. Is to serve Christ. All the days. Of his life. And that is evident. And who loves others.

[47:11] Sacrificially. There is nothing more beautiful. So now to husbands and wives. I will conclude with this. If there is something.

[47:24] That in today's message. You think. I. I. I have done wrong. I have erred in this way. Before the Lord. Can I encourage you to confess.

[47:34] Yeah. That sin. To the Lord. May I encourage us. To repent. And. And. Even speak to your husband and wife. And say. And husbands. You can initiate.

[47:45] And say. Honey. I have blown it. I have been harsh with you. In these ways. Would you forgive me? Seek forgiveness from the Lord. Seek forgiveness to the one you have harmed.

[47:57] Your spouse. And may we be a church. That is a safe place for marriages. Be a place where we have examples for one another. Of how this works.

[48:08] How. What this looks like. And we would be a church. That exemplifies the gospel. Of how Christ loved the church. Would you pray with me? Lord.

[48:20] We love you. We thank you for. Today. We thank you for. How good and kind. You have been. Lord. I pray. We thank you.

[48:33] First of all. That. You have imprinted. Imprinted. All facets of society. Citizens to government. Employees to employers. Husbands to wives.

[48:44] Children to parents. This authority. And submissive. Structure. That you have ordered your world. And we say. Thank you for that. Lord. I pray. Please forgive us.

[48:54] For the ways. In which we have failed. To properly. Proclaim you well. And how we do that. Forgive us. For the ways. We have marred the gospel.

[49:05] In our example. Of loving our wives. Thank you Lord. For your forgiveness. And may we. Do what you have commanded.

[49:17] In today's word. Submit. And love. We love you Lord. And it is in your beautiful name. We pray. Amen. Amen. Thank you.