Transcription downloaded from https://yetanothersermon.host/_/hhbc/sermons/61374/new-relationship/.

Disclaimer: this is an automatically generated machine transcription - there may be small errors or mistranscriptions.
Please refer to the original audio if you are in any doubt.


[0:00] Our reading is taken this morning from Ephesians chapter 5, beginning from 21 to 33, and from chapter 6, 1 to 9.

[0:15] I read, Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands, as you do to the Lord.

[0:26] For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ is the head of the church, his body of which he is the Savior. Now, as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

[0:45] Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.

[1:12] In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body.

[1:28] But they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church. For we are members of his body. For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.

[1:49] This is a profound mystery. But I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife, as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

[2:07] Chapter 6 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment, with a promise, so that it may go well with you, and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.

[2:26] Father, do not exasperate your children. Instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ.

[2:44] Obey them, not only to win their favor when their eyes is on you, but as slaves of Christ. Doing the will of God from your heart, serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord.

[3:00] Not people, because you know that the Lord will reward each one for whatever good they do, whether they are slave or free. And masters, treat your slaves in the same way.

[3:15] Do not threaten them, since you know that he who is both their master and yours is in heaven, and there is no favoritism with him.

[3:26] Here ends the reading. Well, it's really a privilege to be with you this morning, to be worshiping with you as brothers and sisters in Christ. Many of you won't know who I am, so I'll just tell you a little bit about myself.

[3:41] Very little. I'm from Birmingham, as you might be able to tell from the accent. I'm an associate pastor at a church called Cannon Street Memorial Baptist Church in Hansworth, Birmingham.

[3:52] And I've been there for about six years. It's my home church, the church that I got baptized in. And it's just wonderful. It's wonderful to be with you here at Hearn Hill. Looking at the passage today, it has to be acknowledged that it's a bit of a tricky passage.

[4:08] Who hears that and feels a little bit challenged by it? Yeah. As I was thinking about this, I was thinking, though, that in our pursuit for truth, and in our pursuit of God, we have to be willing to wrestle with some difficult passages.

[4:30] We have to be willing to wrestle with all of God's words in our pursuit of truth. And it reminded me of what the Apostle Paul said to Timothy.

[4:40] You see, it's God's word that transforms us and changes us and leads us into truth.

[5:05] And it was Jesus himself that said, and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free.

[5:16] It occurs to me that transformation is at the very heart of what it means to live a new life. In fact, the word new itself is indicative that there's a change or transition that needs to happen.

[5:33] We're moving from what was into what is. And often, when we think about change, it's something positive. I think about being a child, a young person, and the night before a birthday or Christmas, having that eager anticipation about the new thing that my mother might have bought me, that new toy or that new gadget.

[5:59] And then I think about the new parents as they eagerly anticipate the arrival of new life. Or maybe the transitions of seasons, maybe those that are anticipating retirement or some kind of new role.

[6:16] New seasons, new times of life. They have a lot of hope, a lot of expectation. And often, we anticipate them with joy.

[6:29] But as I've gotten older, I've also realized that change comes also with a sense of trepidation. That as well as anticipating them and desiring them, at times I can also resist them.

[6:43] Because whether it's a positive change or a difficult change, change comes with cost. Change costs. For many years now, I have been absolutely captivated by the imagery of the birth of the butterfly.

[7:02] And if you knew me, you'd know that's very strange because I don't like insects. I'm the type of person that runs like a fly comes too close. And yet, this imagery of the birth of the butterfly, I can't get it out of my spirit.

[7:20] And I think I find the idea fascinating because something new emerges from something pre-existent. Through the process of metamorphosis, a caterpillar or a larva is transformed into an adult butterfly.

[7:39] But for the butterfly to emerge, the caterpillar has to die. Or more accurately, it has to digest itself.

[7:50] The very enzymes that it uses to digest food, it now uses to digest its own cells, its own tissues. And in doing so, these cells and this tissue divides and develops into a butterfly.

[8:08] Depending on what time a butterfly is, it might take a few weeks. It may take up to a year. And the thing that this tells me is that transformation is a process that happens over time.

[8:22] But the main point is this. And the thing that stands out to me is this. The caterpillar has to cease to exist for the butterfly to emerge.

[8:37] And I think it bears similarities to our own development in Christ. Our old life has to die for our new life in Christ to emerge.

[8:51] But embracing this new is costly because death is costly. And so therefore, transformation requires tremendous courage.

[9:08] And as we consider this passage from Ephesians that teach us about the new way that we are to relate to one another, specifically within a household context, I believe that courage is key.

[9:25] Let me be transparent with you for a moment. When I first read this passage as a woman, even as an unmarried woman, as a single woman, there was something in me that just resisted.

[9:42] Here in the words, wives, submit to yourselves, to your husbands, as to the Lord. There was a measure of anxiety that that gave me.

[9:55] I may be the only one, I don't know. But it got me thinking, it got me thinking, why is it that this idea of submission is so emotive?

[10:10] Why is it that I've reacted in this visceral way to this part of scripture? Why is it that some of us struggle with the idea of submitting to the husband as the head of the home, including the head of his wife?

[10:27] And I believe it's because we have been witness to so much abuse of power that this idea, it affects us.

[10:40] Whether it's due to our gender, our ethnicity, or our social or economic position, we've seen how vulnerability has been taken advantage of.

[10:51] We've seen how some have used positions of power, leadership, and authority to further their own interest and to oppress others.

[11:03] And so submission, when it seems to be targeted, especially at those that are most vulnerable, it makes us pause for thought. I even think about how this particular passage, very specifically in regards to marriage, has been weaponized against women.

[11:24] I think about women that may be in an abusive situation or relationship, and then rather than using this passage to correct the abuser, it's been used to keep her in that position, either by the one that is abusing her or even by the church.

[11:44] And I think that needs to be acknowledged and it needs to be repented of because this is not the heart, or not at least, what I believe, the heart of what Christ is saying through this passage.

[11:58] But whether it be in the church or in wider society, we have seen and we're all too familiar with the abuse of power.

[12:10] From Partygate to the Me Too movement, to instances of police brutality against black and brown people, to instances of expense scandals, we have seen and we can fully understand while we are in a culture that seems to distrust authority.

[12:32] But the truth is, this passage is not only difficult for us to hear within our cultural context, it would have also been very, very difficult for them to hear within the cultural context when this letter was written.

[12:45] And it would not only have been difficult to hear as a woman, as a child, or even as a slave, but it would have been difficult as a man to hear this particular passage.

[13:00] You see, the Greco-Roman culture operated within a framework that's known as the household codes. And within this framework, the man was the most powerful person in the household.

[13:15] Slave, children, and wives were seen as property, even from a legal perspective. And they would have therefore been some of the most vulnerable people in society, because legally, they wouldn't have had the same rights as males.

[13:34] This was the reality of the context in which this letter was written. And so it makes me wonder why would Paul, knowing that he's speaking to people that have limited rights, ask them to submit to people that seem to have considerable power?

[13:57] But I think it's because we have to first of all notice that submission is mutual. Right at the beginning of this passage, in verse 21, it says, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

[14:16] And submission was possible and required of all because all were first and foremost called to be submitted to Christ Jesus.

[14:29] And it's this vertical relationship with God that would influence the horizontal relationship that they would have with one another.

[14:42] And so in these passages, the man as the one that had the most authority at the time in the household, he's not only, he's reminded that he's not only someone who's under authority, the authority of Christ, but he's also shown through the example of Jesus Christ how that authority is to be exercised.

[15:08] You see, the subversion or the undermining of the Greco-Roman order, it may seem subtle, but it is there and it needs to be looked at.

[15:20] The very dynamic of the household relationships was fundamentally changed by their new relationship in Christ Jesus.

[15:31] women, children, slaves within the Christian community would have experienced the most liberty that there would have in any other part of the Roman culture at that time, the Roman society at that time.

[15:47] There would have been most liberated within the Christian church. In fact, in Galatians 3, verse 28, Paul says this, there is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, neither is there male or female for all are one in Christ Jesus.

[16:12] And so in the church, as a man, they may have had the most authority, but it wasn't an unchecked authority. It wasn't an unlimited authority.

[16:24] It was an acknowledgement that they had authority as one who was also under authority. Yes, his wife, his children, and his slaves were called to submit to him, but they were to relate to one another in a new way.

[16:46] Firstly, he was called to demonstrate the agape love of God, loving his wife as Christ loved the church and as he demonstrated it in his sacrifice on the cross at Calvary by the shedding of his own blood.

[17:05] He was to love her as he loved, nourished, cared for, and attended to his own body on the basis of the creation that when two came together in marriage, they became one flesh.

[17:21] while he should expect obedience from his children, he should not discourage them with unreasonable demands, but was responsible for teaching them the very ways of God.

[17:36] And while slaves were called to wholeheartedly serve their master, doing what is right not only when his eye was upon them, but when no eye was upon them, it tells us that the master was to do the very same thing.

[17:54] Furthermore, it goes on to say that the master was not to threaten them. Why? Because they both shared the same master, Lord Jesus Christ.

[18:08] And so in this new order, there is equality. Women, children, slaves, and master are equal because they share the same Lord who has no favourites and shows no partiality.

[18:32] And yet this new level of agency that was being experienced within the Christian community meant that they had to learn how to use and exercise this agency.

[18:45] You see, submission was no longer something that was demanded or violently enforced, but it was something that was to be given willingly in order to maintain harmony within the Christian household.

[19:02] Submission wasn't given out of fear or anxiety at how an earthly master would treat them, but in reverence and service to a heavenly one.

[19:13] let's take the very uncomfortable example of slave. And I use the word deliberately because I know it makes us feel a little bit uncomfortable.

[19:24] But that's what the word means, doula, slave, servant. And when we think about this, we have to realise that this was a very intrinsic and central feature of the Roman economic system.

[19:38] It was loads of slaves. And whilst we acknowledge this, we also have to acknowledge that it's not the same brutal, extractive institution that was the trans-Atlantic slavery.

[19:54] But it was still dehumanising and it was still demeaning. And in these passages, while slavery is not criticised, neither is it endorsed.

[20:06] but what is emphasised is the equality of humanity based upon the bearing of the image of God, that both slave and master share the same Lord.

[20:24] But what I find very interesting is that the slaves' new relationship with Christ not only changed their relationship with their master, their earthly master is, but it changed their relationship with their work.

[20:41] I noticed that their work is given a new purpose because it's no longer simply done to please an earthly master, but it's done to please a heavenly one.

[20:55] They're told that to do good is going to be rewarded because the one that sees when no one else sees can reward them like no one else can reward them.

[21:08] Work was redeemed and they were given back their dignity. Their work was given purpose. Moving on slightly, while there is a very clear emphasis in the text, that a wife is to submit and to respect her husband, and that a husband is to sacrificially love his wife.

[21:34] As I said earlier, we're talking here about mutual submission, and this is the way that I kind of got it in my head, because I don't believe we're saying that a wife is to submit to respect and respect her husband, but she's not to love him.

[21:57] Yeah, just submit, just respect him, but don't love him, that's not required. Of course not, that's not what we're saying, is it? So whilst a wife is to submit and respect her husband, she's also to love her husband.

[22:10] Flip it then. While a husband is to love his wife, he's also to submit to her and respect her. There may have been an emphasis in the text, but all is required of all.

[22:28] And so neither of us, none of us would fear submitting to someone that was willing to love us after the pattern of Jesus Christ.

[22:42] If someone was willing to love us after the pattern of Jesus Christ, we would have no fear of submitting to them. And whilst I do believe that this passage does endorse the husband as the head of the whole, the more and more that I study the passage, the more I become convinced that if we approach it asking the question, who is in charge or who gets the lead, we come to it with the wrong heart posture.

[23:19] fear. I really believe that that question is motivated by fear and not by faith. Either the fear that power will be abused or fear that power may need to be relinquished.

[23:39] The question might also expose that we fundamentally misunderstand how leadership and authority are to be exercised in the kingdom of God.

[23:54] The Gospel of Luke records a very interesting conversation that Jesus has with his disciples and I believe it will shed light on this matter. The text tells us that the disciples are disputing amongst themselves who is the greatest.

[24:11] And Jesus says this to them, the kings of the Gentiles lord you over them. And those who exercise authority call themselves benefactors. That's a big title.

[24:22] That's a title of prominence. Goes on to say, but you are not to be like them. Instead the greatest among you should be like the youngest.

[24:33] And the one who rules like the one who serves. For who is greater? The one who sits at the table or the one who serves.

[24:45] Is it not the one who is at the table? But I am among you as one who serves. Jesus says, I am among you as one who serves.

[25:00] So let's consider this Ephesians passage again. So the slave in the household is to submit and to serve the master.

[25:12] After all, he's a slave. And the child is to submit and to serve the father. After all, he's a child.

[25:23] And the wife is to submit and to serve her husband. Therefore, in this Greco-Roman household code, the husband, the master, the father, father, the father, the household.

[25:43] And because he rules, he's called to be one who serves after the pattern of Jesus Christ. So bearing this in mind then, what I see is that this is a household of servants.

[26:01] servants. This is a household of those who serve. And as it is in the domestic, so it is in the household of Jesus Christ.

[26:18] We are called to be a household of servants, those who serve. So the question becomes not who is in charge, but who is willing to serve after the pattern of Christ.

[26:40] The question becomes not who's serving me, but who am I called to serve. It's not about therefore vying for position or prominence, but positioning ourselves for service.

[26:59] But here's the thing, serving in this way takes courage. Jesus says, I am among you as one who serves, not lording it over us, but among us.

[27:16] And we are to take Jesus' example for he says, take up your cross daily and follow me. I want to go to what's recorded in John 13 and the song just really confirms what God had laid on my heart in this respect.

[27:34] John 13, it talks about Jesus being at the Passover meal. And it says that he leaves his place at the table, takes off his outer garments, wraps a towel around his waist, fills a basin with water and begins to wash his disciples' feet.

[27:57] I have to understand that that level of service was for the very lowliest of servants in a household. Now looking at it just from an earthly perspective, Jesus was the greatest person in that room and in that house.

[28:16] I'm not even talking about his divinity, but just by the very fact that he was a rabbi that had thousands of followers, just by the very fact that people held that he was a prophet that was able to heal the blind.

[28:31] He was the greatest person in that household and yet it was him that got down and began to wash the feet of his disciples.

[28:42] But let's just look at the reality for the moment because Jesus wasn't only a teacher. he was not only a prophet, he was not only a king, but he is the son of the living God.

[28:57] He is the one in whom all authority in heaven and on earth has been given. He is the one that spoke the very creation into existence.

[29:08] There is no one higher than him in heaven, neither is there on earth. And the very act of washing his disciples' feet was a prophetic sign to the point at which he would wash our feet metaphorically on the cross as he bled and died.

[29:31] Hallelujah. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. And it's this humility that is muddled in Jesus.

[29:44] is this demonstration of leadership and headship that is to shape the very way that we relate to one another.

[29:57] And it is this relating to one another that is a witness to the whole world. In John 13, 35, Jesus says, by this everyone will know you are my disciples if you love one another.

[30:17] So we see that the question really isn't who is in charge but who is willing to lay down their power in order to empower others.

[30:32] And believe me, it's going to cost us something. everything. Because guess what? It cost Jesus everything. Jesus is not one who abuses power.

[30:46] He's the one that uses power to empower others. Jesus didn't use his power to his own advantage. He used his power to our advantage.

[30:58] He laid down his privilege as the creator of the universe and he took up his cross. And he's inviting us to do the same.

[31:09] Whether our power or privilege is the source of it is our gender, whether the source of it is our ethnicity, whether the source of it is our social or economic position, we are to leverage it not to our own advantage but to the advantage of others.

[31:27] And it's going to take courage. Why? Because this type of relinquishing of power to empower others is a type of death.

[31:38] But here's the thing, we serve a God of the resurrection. The one who brings dead things to life. The one in whom a tomb becomes a womb.

[31:54] The one in whom the place of death becomes the place of life. Where dying to the old becomes the place of transition towards transformation and the new.

[32:05] The one in whom the caterpillar becomes a butterfly. The place where old gives way to new and death gives way to life. But the question is, do we have the courage to embrace this new type of relationship?

[32:23]  тех two that doesn't look like a