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[0:00] This message was recorded at Vision Baptist Church in Alfred, Georgia. It is our prayer that you will be blessed by the preaching of God's Word. Take your Bibles and open them with me, if you would, to Genesis chapter 2 and verse 18.

[0:12] Genesis chapter 2 and verse 18. Let me just say to you that, in fact is, this very week, I don't know what blog I got it off of, but one of those info things came out that talked about marriage.

[0:28] And it was a very interesting thing. Those couples that have eight good interactions to every one bad interaction have marriages that last.

[0:41] And those who have, I can't remember what it was, like .1 to 4, whatever it was, it works out almost the opposite. Lots of marriages have two or three good ones and four or five bad ones, and their marriages are almost always doomed.

[0:56] And it went through all the things. How many times did you say, I love you? How many times did you say, I love you? How many times did you say, I love you? How many times did you say, I love you? They did surveys. And I just hope you know that every little thing you can do that says to your spouse, I love you, is worthwhile.

[1:08] Every little thing that you can do to say, I love you, I believe in you, I'm glad that we're together. If I had it to do over, I still would do it again. That's a very worthwhile thing to do.

[1:19] And I want to talk to you about Adam and Eve, the ideal couple. We'll talk to them right there in the book of Genesis, chapter 2. Sin's going to enter in chapter 3. So we're still in chapter 2, so we're still under ideal circumstances.

[1:31] I'm not going to fuss at you at all. I just want to show you some thoughts I know you already have about how we can have a stronger marriage. Thoughts from Adam and Eve about how we can have a stronger marriage.

[1:43] And so before we do that, let's bow our heads for a word of prayer and ask the Lord to help us. Father, I pray that you'd help me to be a better husband. And I pray, Lord, that your men in this room would now ask you for help to be a better husband, a better spiritual leader, and to make those vows be real in their life.

[2:03] I pray, God, that you'd be with each wife, that she would pray the same way, that you'd help her to be a better wife, that she would love her husband more, that she would strengthen their marriage. And I pray, dear God, that you would get honor and glory from your word tonight and from what we look at and what we see tonight.

[2:19] And we'll give you praise for all that you do. We love you, thank you, and praise you. In Jesus' name, amen. Genesis chapter 2 and verse 18. The Bible says, And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone.

[2:33] I will make him and help meet for him. That's one of the most fantastic verses in the Bible. So, Genesis chapter 2, you're just getting started. And when God gets through making his creation, and he finishes and he makes his greatest creation, he's going to make the last thing on his agenda for the week is to make man.

[2:53] And when he gets through making man, Adam was alone. And God saw his creation and he made a statement for us. And it wasn't for Adam, it was for all of us. It is not good that we be alone.

[3:05] It is not good that we be alone. And he gave Adam a wife. Just real quickly, because of some of my younger guys that I work with, I'd like to clear up something for you. In 1 Corinthians chapter 7, Paul said that he wished that young men and young women would not get married.

[3:22] He wished that young men and young women wouldn't get married. And some guys get over to that passage and they're like, Really? It's not God's will for us to get married. But the truth of the matter about 1 Corinthians chapter 7 was, It's set in context, starting out with God saying, In the very beginning, it's good for a man to get married.

[3:40] It's not good for a man to be alone. And so the whole premise is that we're to live and act like we aren't married. That means that we serve God like crazy.

[3:51] That means that we, Paul was saying, And if y'all get married, you're going to let your wife become more important to you than Jesus. You're going to let your husband become more important to you than Jesus.

[4:03] The work of God won't go forward because of that. But there's no place in the scripture ever for us to have a bad attitude towards marriage. It is the bedrock of what God did in the very beginning.

[4:16] He made man, and that same day he made woman, and he put them together. And he said, It is not good for man to be alone. It was never meant that there would ever be sex outside of marriage, or the possibility that God would make a person desire their own gender.

[4:34] God made marriage. God made man. God made woman. And God put them together. That, to me, is one of the greatest things that's possible about us. God said it's not good that we should be alone.

[4:48] Read the verse with me one more time. Chapter 2, verse 18, And the Lord God said, that's pretty clear who said it. And the Lord God said, the God of heaven, the Jehovah God, the King God said, It is not good that man should be alone.

[5:04] I will make him a helpmate for him. He's not talking about Adam there. He's talking about the human race. Adam needed help. That's something else you notice in the verse. Adam needed help. God made us to work together.

[5:15] He said, I will make a helpmate for him. I'll make a helpmate for him. I'll make a help that is just exactly right. God made us social beings. The most damaging thing you can do in prison, legally, to harm someone is to put them in solitary confinement.

[5:33] God made us to need other people. God fully intended for the 99.99% of us to get married. Though you might say, well, there are some people that God gave a gift of being single.

[5:45] Yeah, I've just never met that person. And none of you have either. There may be the odd bird every now and then. It's like that there may be one or two that we could come up with.

[5:55] But the majority of us are going to get married. That's what God wanted. Adam needed exactly the right help. One just for him. It is not good that man should be alone.

[6:07] Did you know that even says in 1 Peter 3 and verse 7, and I know you know the verse, and I'm sure they'll throw it up there for you. But he talks to the husbands in 1 Peter 3 and verse 7. And he says, Likewise, you husbands dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife as unto the weaker vessel, as being heirs together with the grace of life, that your prayers be not hindered.

[6:28] 1 Peter is a married man. And we know that because in the Bible he had a mother-in-law. And who would want a mother-in-law if they didn't have a wife? Say amen. And so he had a mother-in-law.

[6:38] So I'm pretty sure that that means he had a wife. And Peter tells them, he said, Men, do you know that God won't answer your prayers, that your spiritual life is hindered, your walk with God is hindered, if you don't treat your wife right.

[6:53] So I can act all holy and not be kind to my wife. And God in heaven says, Also, I'm not really that interested in all you have to say, and all your prayers, and all your giving, and all your offerings, and all the Bible lessons you can give, and all the teaching you can give, if you can't treat your wife right.

[7:09] And the verse says, You're to dwell with her according to knowledge. Take this, I want this to be a serious thing. God didn't want us to be alone. God wanted me to have a wife. God made man. God made woman.

[7:20] God put man and woman together. God put them in marriage. But it's a responsibility thing. We're not to be alone. He said, According to knowledge. So I'm supposed to learn about my wife.

[7:32] Boy, that's a long time lifestyle thing. Amen. Forty years later, and I'm still learning. But according to knowledge. And I'm to give honor to her, as unto the most fragile, as to the more important, the more expensive, the better thing.

[7:45] Not the plain old clay pot, but the fancy china that you have. I'm to give honor to her. And we are heirs together. That was a very foreign statement.

[7:55] That was a very foreign statement in the scriptures. Women were not considered heirs. Women didn't get inheritance. There's only one time in the Old Testament that I could think of when some sisters, their husband dies, and they go and they say, Nobody in our family alive to keep on our family line.

[8:11] Can we still have some property? And they let them keep their property. Women didn't get it. But in 1 Peter, the apostle Peter says, Hey, y'all are heirs together. You're heirs together.

[8:22] You're on an equal plane. God said, It's not good that man should be alone. And I'm going to put them together and make them a couple together. Notice there was an opportunity to have, there was opportunity to have any other helper partner.

[8:36] But only another person of the opposite sex was right. Interesting story. We never pay attention to it. In Genesis chapter 2 and verse 15, he gets to create in the world. And then he sets Adam down and he says, Adam, name all these animals.

[8:48] And Adam names all the animals. And when Adam gets through naming all the animals, Adam and God are talking and there has not been found anybody that Adam says would be a good partner to me.

[9:00] And so God puts him to sleep and gives him a wife. Genesis chapter 2 and verse 18. One more time. The Bible says, And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone.

[9:13] I will make him and help meet for him. You should never, ever look at your spouse as a bother, an extra weight, etc. We need each other.

[9:25] It is not good that man should be alone. That was God's plan from the very beginning. Fact is, when Jesus is asked about divorce, He said in the very beginning, God made one man and one woman.

[9:38] That wasn't the way it was. God wants us to have a marriage. Number two thing that you look at about this ideal couple. They had the right priorities. They had the right priorities.

[9:50] They were made for each other. There wasn't anybody else. They weren't looking around. The only other human being on the planet is Eve. The only other human being on the planet is Adam. They were made for each other.

[10:02] But more than that, when God got through creating the world, and I don't know if you ever read in Genesis 3, 8, I would look at that with me if you would. They had the common, they had a habit of spending time with God.

[10:14] You see, God would come down, Jesus would come down, the pre-incarnate Christ would come down and walk with them in the cool of Eden and each day. And they heard the voice of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day.

[10:26] It was His habit. He came down, He walked with them, and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord among the trees. They had the right priorities. You know what my number one priority has to be?

[10:37] That I would walk with God. That ought to be my number one priority. I cannot be a good husband if I'm not a good Christian. I can't be a good husband if I'm not obeying God. I can't be, I will treat my wife incorrectly if I'm not in a good relationship this way.

[10:51] Is that a fair statement? Amen? You know, she hasn't said it in a long time because I think I punched her teeth out or something. But years ago, I would be, when I was pastoring, I guess, in Cartersville years ago, Betty would make the comment every so often, she would say, how's your walk with the Lord because you haven't been being very nice to me lately.

[11:08] And then she grew out of that. Thank the Lord. Or maybe I grew a little bit. I don't know what happened. But they had the right priorities. The right priority, number one, is my walk with God. The second priority is that I would love my wife. They did the work God had for them.

[11:20] This is the ideal couple. Sin hasn't entered yet, and they had a job to do. They had a job to do. It was easy to, it's easy to get off track since we're not in a garden with no distractions.

[11:32] But this couple was in a garden serving God. She was made to be a help for him. God gave him a job to do, and he gave her to him to help him accomplish what God had.

[11:43] We're to realize that our life and our everything is for him and his pleasure. We're to find the work that he has for us and give ourselves to it fully. Right priorities. Right priorities.

[11:54] Of course, I have moved around more than most of you. Betty and I have lived in many different houses in three different countries and several states.

[12:09] But I would like to say to you several, two states, lots of different cities in those states. I would just like to say to you, you know there's only one person that you're really going to keep this relationship with.

[12:20] You know, right now your children seem to be like everything in your life. They're leaving. Okay, how old they are, they are leaving you. And they're going to wake up one day and they're going to look at you and they're going to say, Mama, I love you, but I'm out of here.

[12:36] Daddy, I love you, but I'm out of here. So there's only one person that ought to be the very special person to me. Not my daughters. I love both, I still love both of my daughters extremely, love them very much.

[12:48] I don't know anything they could ask that I wouldn't try to do for them, but they left. I love my sons and I'm proud of them, but they left. Right priority, my spouse. Right priority, Jesus first and my spouse.

[13:02] So that brings me to, as I'm in the work, I want to spend time helping my wife grow in the Lord. I want to spend time helping her be a better Christian. She ought to spend time helping me be a better Christian.

[13:14] We ought to work on it. Number three, they had the right relationship. She was taken from a rib, which indirectly says something. She's not taken from the foot.

[13:25] She's not taken from the head. She's taken from under the arm. There was an intimacy, a oneness, an equality. And by the way, when he saw her, he was happy.

[13:38] Check out your Bible, Genesis chapter 2 and verse 23. You know, he had seen every animal that God had created. He had seen every bird, all the majestic things that God had done.

[13:48] He looked at everything that God had created and not one of them satisfied him. None of them could be the person. In Genesis chapter 2, verse 23, God wakes him up and says, look what I made for you.

[13:59] And here's his reaction. This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called whoa, man. Wow. Woman. She is taken out of man. It's a pretty special thing that he did for her.

[14:12] Adam saw her and he was excited about this beautiful creation. He realized she had been special made for him. She was part of him.

[14:23] They had a right relationship. You know, I don't know how much meddling I want to do, how much preaching I want to do, how much counseling I want to do.

[14:34] I just want to say to you, I mean, you've got to keep working on this. It is so easy to get so busy to let children, to let jobs, to let careers get in the way and your marriage to deteriorate.

[14:47] A young couple like Mary Angela and Miguel who just got married never could ever believe that. But it is a hazard in life. You have to work at keeping this relationship.

[14:59] By the way, Genesis chapter 2 and verse 25, they had an intimate, transparent, vulnerable relationship. Look at what it says. They were both naked, the man and his wife, and they were not ashamed.

[15:13] The key word in that verse is not the word naked. The key word is not ashamed. There was no embarrassment. There was no, oh, don't look at me. I'm not as slightly as I should be.

[15:26] I'm not as pretty as I should be. I've got it. My chest has fallen into my drawers. That wasn't the issue here. The issue was, you know me. You know all of me. There's nothing hidden from you, and I don't have to be embarrassed about that.

[15:39] It was a tremendously open, sweet relationship. It was knowing a person as well as you could know anyone on the planet. She was a help to him.

[15:50] They were one flesh. They shared everything. Of course, there wasn't anybody else to share it with. Everything was new to them, and everything was discussed by them. Everything was special to them.

[16:03] In Genesis 3, verse 6, they even shared sin. Adam and Eve are in the garden. Adam has failed, in my opinion. We'll talk about it in just a second, but in my opinion, he has failed as a spiritual leader.

[16:16] And I don't blame this lady, but she goes, and she saw the tree was good for food, and it was pleasant to the eye, and a tree to be desired to make one wise.

[16:27] And she took of the fruit thereof and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her, and he did eat. He shared, she shared, they shared everything.

[16:38] They had a right relationship. But, the fourth thing that I see is they allowed that relationship to be ruined by sin. Adam wasn't the spiritual leader that he should have been.

[16:50] And I'd like to just say this to you in a warning situation to try to get you to kind of wake up and take seriously this position.

[17:02] You know, I've been the pastor of this church now for eight years, and I can't take that lightly. I can't just say, hey, I got this job, they pay me a salary, all I got to do is come up with messages and take it lightly.

[17:14] If I do, then the relationship will be ruined. If you do, the relationship will be ruined. And here's what ends up happening. Adam's not the leader. In Genesis chapter 3 and verse 17, God said to Adam, because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife and hast eaten of the tree which I commanded thee, saying thou shalt not eat of it, cursed is the ground for thy sake.

[17:35] In sorrow thou shalt eat of it all the days of thy life. God didn't curse Adam, he cursed the ground, and he made it hard for him to work and made there be thorns and thistles in the next verse, and he made sweat in verse 19, of the sweat of his brow, he would have to eat bread until he would die and go back to the ground that he had been taken from.

[17:54] But Adam wasn't a spiritual leader. You see, he didn't teach Eve the importance of the word of God. It's pretty funny, if you go back and read Genesis 2.15, if you go back and read that, you'll notice that God told Eve what to do, or Adam what to do.

[18:09] Eve wasn't created yet. If there's any chronology to chapter 2, he didn't tell Eve. He goes to Adam and he says, Adam, here's my rule. Don't eat of that fruit. And then he says, Adam, let's name all the animals, and Adam names all the animals, and then they don't find one, and then he makes him a woman.

[18:26] I don't think, personally, that Eve heard directly that she was not to eat of that fruit. I think God worked, and it teaches us a major lesson here. God's teaching you, sir, to lead your home.

[18:39] And Adam should have walked into his wife and said, baby, listen, the God of heaven does not want us to eat of that tree. But baby, there's 99.9% of, 99.9999% of this garden.

[18:50] Everything but one tree, is ours. Every animal, everything he's made is ours. And we can enjoy that. But Eve has heard a negative thing.

[19:01] I question, because the way she talks to the devil, if he taught her like he ought to. It's so easy to go through life and not make the word of God a central part of our lives. not trying to be ugly, but Frank, I don't understand how you haven't read the Bible through yet.

[19:22] From cover to cover. I don't understand how you haven't made the word of God very important in your family. I don't understand how your children don't hear you, daddy, read the Bible to them.

[19:33] Even if it's only two, three, four, five verses, I don't understand that. I don't understand how we as parents, we as husbands, don't somehow make our family know that the word of God is important.

[19:48] It's easy to make decisions like the world. But we're to find God's perfect will, and that's found in the word of God. Look at Romans chapter 12 and verse 2. Be not conformed to this world and be transformed.

[20:02] You know, you've heard that preached in independent churches all your life, and what they typically want to do is tell you, don't dress like them, don't act like them, don't walk, but that wasn't what it was talking about. Read the verse.

[20:12] Here's what it was saying. Don't be like the world. Be transformed by the renewing of your mind so you'll know what God wants you to do. It's a positive thing. They don't know what God wants them to do.

[20:23] They don't care what God wants them to do. But I'm not to be like them. I'm not to be pressed into their mold. I'm not to act like them. I'm not to fit in with them. But I'm to change the way I think, and I'm to put enough Bible in so I can understand, prove, and accept what is good and acceptable and perfect is the will of God for my life.

[20:41] I want the word of God in me. I want to get the word of God into my family. They weren't working exactly on what God had said but a paraphrase. They weren't watching to avoid temptation and sin.

[20:53] They had a self-sacrificing love. Last one. They had a self-sacrificing love. In my opinion, Romeo and Juliet is the third greatest love story in history.

[21:06] The first one is how Jesus loved us. And stop for just a second and think about this. He loved me when I was still a sinner. He loved me before I ever loved him. He loved me before I ever did anything to get him to love me.

[21:18] Jesus loved me. And he loved you. God loved you. But God committed his love toward us and while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. We know he loved us first.

[21:30] That's the greatest love story of ever. But I think the second love story is Adam and Eve. I don't know if you ever think about this story, but Eve took that fruit and ate it. And I really think that what goes on, I'm going to show you some verses to make you think what I think.

[21:42] Make you at least see why I think what I think. I think Adam, Eve took that fruit and ate that fruit. And the second Adam looked at her, he said, Woman, you have blown it now. You are going to die and I love you.

[21:55] You are taken out of me. You're special to me. You're the most important, beautiful person on this planet. There's nobody else like you here. But I'm God's special creation. I heard God directly say, we're not to eat that fruit and you've eaten that fruit.

[22:07] And Adam took the fruit and ate the fruit on purpose, intentionally. He was not deceived. Look at the Bible, 1 Timothy 2.13. 1 Timothy 2.13.

[22:18] Adam was first formed, then Eve. So they weren't formed at the same time. There was a time lapse. And Adam was not deceived. But the woman being deceived was in transgression.

[22:31] You see, Eve got tricked. Eve, I mean, it was a sleight of hand, quick words, smooth talking lawyer. The devil messed up Eve. But Adam full well knew what he was doing.

[22:43] Adam looked at her and said, I'd rather die than not have you. What a love story. And then the beautiful thing is found in verse 15. Something I think probably isn't understood a lot by us, so I'm going to just hit it again though we've gone over it before.

[23:00] Notwithstanding, she shall be saved in childbearing if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety. Not that having children save anybody. But guess what? Eve sure took a black eye.

[23:10] Eve messed up the human race. Eve plunged the human race. Eve, Adam and Eve, but starts with Eve, plunged the human race down. And maybe 10 years later or 20 years later or 100 years later, Adam and Eve are out sweating and thistles and thorns and briars and she's having babies and it's hurting and maybe Adam said, well if you hadn't have eaten in that fruit, we'd still be where we ought to be.

[23:35] But you messed it up, woman. That's why we're here. And she kind of carries a black eye because she brought the sin into the world. But what did God tell her? Right in the very beginning he said, you know what?

[23:48] You eat that fruit and you die. But that very day he let an animal die. A lamb died that took the place of man and woman. And then he turned to her and said, you're going to have babies lady and one day your child is going to stomp the head of the devil's seed.

[24:03] And all of a sudden the woman who had brought shame had great joy because she might have messed up but the great God of grace that you serve said, I'll give you another chance.

[24:14] You'll do great things. Someday one of you girls will have the baby that will change history. And that little girl's name was Mary and her baby was named Jesus.

[24:26] Adam was a creation. God would have given him another woman but that wasn't what Adam wanted. He was ready to sacrifice himself for her. When God wanted to show us how to have a marriage He gave us Ephesians 5 22 through 33.

[24:40] That's a picture. Ephesians 5 22 through 33 is a picture of how Jesus loves the church. In fact as you'll read it and you'll hear stuff like this Husband you're to love your wife like Christ loves the church.

[24:52] Wife you're to submit to your husband like the church submits to Jesus. But he keeps throwing church and woman Jesus and man and they're kind of interchangeable and at the very end of the chapter he says I'm not even talking about husband and wives here.

[25:06] I'm talking about Jesus and his church. So the real emphasis was Jesus and his church but that's the picture of me and my marriage. I'm supposed to come into this marriage with the right attitude a picture of Christ and the church a picture of sacrificing for someone else that doesn't even deserve it.

[25:23] No higher picture could have ever been given. the last thing that we won't take any time with. Their sin brought horrible consequences on everyone. That's why you'll get sick.

[25:34] That's why we get cancer. That's why we die. That's why our children die. That's why there's thistles and thorns and briars on the earth. That's why there's pain and childbirth until you ladies take a shot to get you relief and even after that you're still going to know you had a baby.

[25:51] And that's why it all happened. But I would like you to consider this. If you would go back through this story right here you would consider these points right here. Number one Adam wasn't complete without her.

[26:04] And honestly honestly every man in this room you ought to look at your wife and say boy you are a gift from God to me. I am so blessed that God gave you. Every woman ought to say that to her husband.

[26:15] We ought to realize man I could be alone. There are people in our church that are alone. There are people in our church that hurt hurt because they're alone and you're not alone.

[26:27] You should be thankful. You should say man I am so glad that God gave me a spouse and then that should lead you to have some right priorities because I want to keep my spouse.

[26:39] I've been married for 40 years and I want to keep my spouse until the day I die. And this isn't trying to hold a vow over you but you made a lot of promises and then you repeated them tonight and I make you repeat them every year.

[26:51] But you ought to look at her and say baby you're the special and you ladies to him you're the most special gift in the world and our priority number one is a family is going to be to serve Jesus and then to love and serve each other.

[27:04] The third thing they had a right relationship. Sometimes Christian men fundamental type Christians get macho in their marriage.

[27:16] Their attitude is I get to run the things and you're supposed to submit to me. It's a beautiful thing from the very beginning he took her from a rib. He gave them an openness and a transparency and a sweet love and a sweet relationship from the very beginning.

[27:31] A vulnerability a transparency an intimacy being one flesh everything together. But they can but you can and they did allow that relationship to be ruined.

[27:43] I don't want to let that happen. And I'll just say this as I close every day every day Satan clamors after your marriage. Every day Satan tries his best to destroy you and that sweet lady or that sweet husband you're married to.

[28:01] Porn screams check me out. I heard Ronald Tobias tell the story last night he told the story of the missionary that sent Asunta down to go to the Bible college and he got involved in porn on the internet and later lost his marriage.

[28:18] I have good friends of people I've worked with people that are in the ministry have lost their marriages. The devil is out to destroy your marriage. He hates marriage he hates anything that's a picture of Jesus and the church put Jesus first.

[28:36] Watch all the time look at the little things you can say and do make extra special time to say I love you. Hey write some sweet love notes. Hey do some winking. Do some hand holding.

[28:48] Do some little kisses and pecs and love symbols. Know that neither one of you are perfect and both of you have made mistakes but let's work at this. Let's keep our marriages for the honor and the glory of Jesus and also for our happiness.

[29:02] Let's keep our marriages together. Let's bow our heads for prayer. Father I love you and I thank you so very much for allowing me to be here with your people tonight and I thank you for these couples God they're so special.

[29:13] I know they're here tonight because they love you and I know they took part because they wanted to and I really do believe God I've watched them tonight as I've spoken and they've got their arm around their wife or they're holding hands or some of them were actually looking at each other pretty close in the face and saying something to each other I think Lord there's a specialness here that you've given us and I just ask you to help us keep it.

[29:35] I pray you to help every man to protect his wife and his family every wife to protect her husband and her family and I pray dear God that you'd help us to be loving and sweet and gentle and kind and forgiving and to keep this thing together.

[29:47] God help us to honor you in our marriages and I'll give you praise for all you do. This message was recorded at Vision Baptist Church in Alfredo, Georgia. For more information, log on to www.visionbaptist.com where you can find our service times, location, contact information, and more audio and video recordings.