Transcription downloaded from https://yetanothersermon.host/_/visionbaptist/sermons/54129/how-to-ruin-a-perfectly-good-family/. Disclaimer: this is an automatically generated machine transcription - there may be small errors or mistranscriptions. Please refer to the original audio if you are in any doubt. [0:00] This message was recorded at Vision Baptist Church in Alfred, Georgia. It is our prayer that you will be blessed by the preaching of God's Word. So I want to talk to you about how to ruin a perfectly good family. So if you've got your Bible open in Genesis chapter 27, I want you to think of a place and a family that is superficially pleasant, or at least harmless, but not so secretly dysfunctional with hypocrisy, backstabbing, jealousy, fighting, a broken family. [0:25] And if you think of all that, you'll have the family of Isaac and Rebecca. One of the wildest families in all the Bible. I mean, they make it into the Bible, makes it into the hall of faith, Hebrews chapter 11, but one super dysfunctional family. [0:43] Can God work in your family even though it's filled with problems? Do you ever wonder how God can make anything good, come out of all the mess that you see in your family or that's going on? And if you read Genesis 27, you'll have to say, in all the mess, God can do a work. [0:59] So I want you to skim the chapter with me since it's a very short chapter, only 46 verses. We'll just kind of skim it. If you've got your Bible open and I will refer back to it. [1:10] But in Genesis 27, one Isaac's old and his eyes are dim and he saw his oldest son. And he knows that God has plans for Jacob to get the blessing. But he calls Esau in in verse 2 and he says, hey, I know I'm about to die. [1:24] You're going to find out in a minute he's going to live more than 40 years after he said that. He is going to live more than 40 years after he said that. He said, I know I'm about to die. And he said, hey, buddy, go get your bow and your arrows and go find out. [1:37] Go see if you can't kill me a deer and cook it. And my soul will bless you before I die. Verse 4. And Rebecca overheard him through the paper thin sheetrock walls that were there in their tent. [1:48] And she spake unto her son in verse 6. And Jacob, and she said, hey, buddy, your daddy's about to try to bless Esau. And we're not going to have that happen. [1:59] So I want you to go get me some meat and I'll make some savory meat. You go get some meat and I'll fix it. I know exactly how your daddy likes it fixed. So you just obey me and go catch me a kid of the goats. [2:10] Bring it to me and I'll fix it. And that way, dad, verse 10, can bless you before he dies. And in verse 11, Jacob said, now, mom, Esau's a hairy guy. [2:23] By the way, Esau is so hairy that when mama decides to deceive him, they will actually cut off pieces of lamb's wool and put it around him. I mean, thicker than dog's hair. [2:34] They're going to put it on his neck. And when his daddy feels his neck, he'll say, feels like my son. That has got to be the hairiest man I have ever heard of. When you rub your son's neck and say, feels like a sheep, must be my boy. [2:48] I mean, that was a hairy man. But anyway, verse 12, he said, well, mom, what if dad figures out he might even think I'm trying to deceive him or something? [3:00] Look at verse 12. It's got to be one of the funniest verses in the Bible. He said, my father peradventure will fill me and I shall seem to him to be a deceiver. You might seem to be because you are, you little jerk. [3:13] You're going to go in and deceive him. I wouldn't want him to think I was deceiving him or something, mama. Even though I'm going to have what lamb's wool around my neck. I mean, I'm going to put on my brother's clothes and I'm going to make sure the candles are turned down low before I sneak in. [3:26] And his mama says in verse 13, well, let the curse be on me, son. You just go get the meat and I'll fix it all up and we'll trick your dad. No problem. Verse 19, Jacob said to his dad, Jacob says to his dad, I am Esau, thy firstborn. [3:42] I'm your firstborn. Here I am. In verse 20, Isaac said, well, son, how in the world could you kill a deer so quickly? I mean, you know, they're harder to find every day and you seem to have gotten them real quick. [3:54] He said, dad, God answered my prayer and brought me a lamb right to me. I surely don't want daddy to think I'm a liar. I mean, so I'm just going to throw God in the mix. And he said, well, son, he said, you sound an awful lot like Jacob, your brother. [4:09] He said, would you come here and let me feel love you? I need to touch you and make sure who you are because your voice sounds like Jacob's. And so he holds his hands up. He's got wool on his hands and he feels him. [4:19] In verse 23, he doesn't discern and his hands are hairy like his brother Esau's hands and he blessed him. And he said, are you my son Esau? And he said, you know it, dad. [4:30] You know I am. In verse 25, he said, well, bring it to me. Let me eat it that I can bless you. And in verse 26, he said, come here now and kiss me, my son. [4:40] And he comes and he kisses him and his daddy takes a wolf of him. He takes a smell. Because, you know, Jacob's going to smell a little more like he had a shave and he's wearing old spice aftershave. And Esau's going to smell like he's laying in bird or in deer poop or something. [4:56] Because he says, buddy, come here. Let me smell. And he says, he said, boy, you smell like the great outdoors. You must be my son. And he blesses his son. [5:07] And he says in verse 28, let the Lord give you all the greatness of the land. Verse 29, let people serve you. Let your mama's son bow down to you. [5:18] Like let that little twerp Jacob bow down to you. And because you're my favorite. You've been my favorite. It came to pass when he got through blessing Jacob that Esau comes in. And Esau says, hey, dad, I got here just now. [5:30] I killed the deer. And I'm here. And he says, Esau, buddy, I've already blessed you. And he said, dad, you blessed the wrong guy. And verse 34, and when Esau heard the words of his father, he cried with a great and exceeding bitter cry. [5:45] And said to his father, bless me, even me also. Please, dad, bless me too. And in verse 35, the brother came with, thy brother has come with subtlety. And he's taken away your blessing. [5:58] And he said, is he, and Esau said, well, dad, didn't y'all name him right? Jacob, he's the trickster, the supplanter. Two times he took away my birthright and he took away my blessing. And so Isaac says in verse 37, well, I already made him your Lord. [6:13] I've already given him the servants and I've already given him all the income to sustain him. And he said, come on, dad, one more blessing. Verse 40, he says, Esau, you will live by the sword, but you will have to serve your brother. [6:25] Verse 41, and Esau hated Jacob because of the blessing. And he says in verse 41, I'm going to kill my brother. And mom hears that and says, buddy, you need to run to Laban's house and get out of here before your brother kills you. [6:42] I wouldn't want to lose both of my sons in one day. And then Esau marries a woman that doesn't please his parents. And I'd like to talk to you real quickly about how to ruin a perfectly good family. [6:54] Can you imagine being born by miracle birth to Abraham and Sarah? Abraham, the father of the nation of Israel. Abraham, the great man of faith. Abraham is going to be used all through the Bible as an illustration. [7:07] Can you imagine being born into that family and having this be your family and having this broken home in your home? Father, I pray that you would help us tonight. [7:18] And Lord, I don't want to bore your people and I don't want to just tell them a Bible story. I want to help make an application. And I would ask you to help me to say clearly and plainly some things that might be a blessing to your people. [7:30] Now, I pray, God, that you'd work in this time. And I pray, God, you'd help me to say it right and calmly and with love. But help us to grow strong homes for your honor and glory. [7:41] And I'll give you praise for it all in Jesus' name. Amen. Before we get started with some major things I'd like to show you, Isaac's about 137, they think. When they try to figure out his age, most of the Bible scholars agree he's about 137 in this chapter. [7:56] He will live for another 43 years. But he has become a discouraged, depressed, bitter, selfish old man. And I'll mention that in just a minute. [8:07] But I don't want to be that guy. I won't call my family in and say, look, I'm getting old. I'm about to die. Let me go ahead and bless you. And we'll live another 40 years. What a way to live. [8:17] What a way not to take advantage. Esau and Jacob are about 77 years old. These are not two boys. They're grown men and they still act like children. [8:28] Two interesting words. There's a birthright and there's a blessing. All this before we get to it. The birthright means he's going to get twice the portion. He's going to get a double portion of daddy's estate. [8:39] Two kids. He gets two thirds. Three kids. He would get double. So if there's three kids, they would be like four. He'd get half of the profit. The guy's going to really make out. [8:51] He has the birthright. But it also makes him the beneficiary of the father's authority and responsibility. He effectively becomes the priest of the family with the birthright. [9:03] The blessing is another very special thing. That's what I made the blessing service after. It's a time when dad's in front of everybody, prays for you and blesses you and asks God to do a work in your life. [9:16] There are several things that are mentioned in the story that were kind of common among a blessing. A sweet intimacy. A tender kiss. A hug. Touching. A spoken message about the person's value. [9:28] A prophecy about their destination. A full and continual commitment to the person saying, man, I love you and I care about you. And they're speaking words to them. And that's what's going to happen. [9:39] That's what's supposed to happen in that blessing. So I'd like us to think about this story and to try not to repeat these mistakes. It's interesting that blessings become a source of irritation and fighting among us. [9:54] This family is going to divide over the blessing and the birthright. Mom and dad are going to fight. Brother and brother are going to fight. We've got a major issue. And what's one of the big problems, I think, in the chapter for me when I read this is I am often Jacob. [10:12] I won't take time to talk to you about that. That's why I wanted a little extra time tonight. I can be a mover and a shaker, a schemer and a plotter to get what I think God wants me to have. [10:26] That's a confession. I know how to try to accomplish things sometimes in my own ability without God really doing the work. [10:39] And that's what Jacob's kind of guilty of. God's going to do it anyway. God's already going to do it. It's going to happen. But Jacob and Rebecca are going to plot and scheme and cause to happen. [10:51] Have you ever been guilty of that? Have you ever been the kind to say, I want God to do this? I believe this is what God wants to do. But you don't wait on God. You don't wait on God. [11:02] You force the issue. And you might get what you want. And you may get even what God wants to have happen. But it certainly wasn't God's way. And I just stop and say, Abraham knows he's supposed to have a son. [11:16] And he comes to God three times. He tries. Well, the third time God does it. But on two occasions, he tries to get God's. He tries to help God do what God is going to do. [11:27] He comes to God and he says to God, how about let my servant be my heir? He goes to God and they make Hagar. And he goes to bed with Hagar. He's trying to get what God said he was going to do. [11:38] But I want it now. And, you know, ever since I started in ministry, I was 19 years old. And when I was 19, I wanted a ministry of a 70-year-old. Really not that old because you might not have much ministry. [11:50] But I wanted one of a 60-year-old or a 55-year-old or 50. I wanted God to give it all to me today. Today. I don't want to tell him how many people I prayed the prayer with to get saved. [12:00] Because I knew if I could just make them pray. And, buddy, I could talk them into it. I could push them. I could manipulate them. I've more than one time had people slam the door. And I had my foot in the door. [12:11] And they couldn't get the door closed. Because my foot was there. I remember one guy said, son, come back when you grow up. And you're not so wet behind the ears. And I said, buddy, I come back. [12:21] You'll probably already be dead and fried in hell like a sausage. You better get saved right now. You say, you did not say that. I said, oh, yeah, I did. My name is Jacob. Jacob. You're looking at Jacob. You might be him, too. [12:32] Most of you might not be. You might be too laid back. But, I mean, I might be like Isaac. Go away. Your daddy picks you a husband at 40. Or picks you a wife at 40. But, I mean, not me. I got married when I was 18. I mean, I was on a roll. [12:43] Don't fall into this trap. Oh, Jacob has as we run through this. Let me just go through something. Number one. First thing I wish you'd write down, the blessing that Jacob got. He got the special intimacy and the nearness that Esau didn't get. [12:59] His dad says, come here, son, and kiss me. And his daddy smelled him. Obviously, there's a very sweet time between the two of them. And then Isaac talks to, he asks God to do some things in Jacob's life. [13:13] His dad prays for him. You know, and most of the time in our families, it's a rare thing when dad says, man, I really believe in you, son. I really believe. In all honesty, this is an unusual thing. [13:25] In our economy, we grow up wondering, when do we really become a man? When do we really get dad's blessings? When does dad really believe in us? Actually, we do the best we can do. [13:35] And I've been guilty of my own sons. And we don't ever say, you are the man of God. You have arrived. I do believe in you. But that's what's happening here. Of course, he's 77 and dad's 137 before it's happening. [13:48] Verse 28, he says, God give you the dew of heaven. Verse 29, he said, let people, excuse me, that was verse 28. Verse 29, let people serve you. He's made the leader of the family. [13:59] He gets the blessing put on him and the curse that God said, if anybody damages Abraham, I'd damage Isaac. Now, if anybody damages Jacob. And Isaac will not give the blessing to Esau now. [14:14] Check it out. This blessing is so special. Something in their culture is so special. When Esau comes in, he says, dad, he tricked you. I'm the real Esau. [14:25] You need to give me the blessing. And his dad said, you know there's only one blessing. I'm not allowed to give it another blessing. So there was a security in that blessing, that double portion and all that had happened. [14:37] That's really so sidelined to our culture. I want to talk to you about this major point tonight. This is where I'd like to drill in. And this is where we might get uncomfortable with each other. [14:48] But I really think it's what happens in the chapter. And I don't preach like this, but Genesis 27 so perfectly lends itself to this and talks about it. So just go with me. And if you don't see it, you talk to me and I won't do it again. [15:01] But look at Genesis chapter 27 and consider this with me. How do you destroy your family? Just write this down. I'm going to give you several ways. I see that they destroyed their family. [15:11] The number one thing I want you to see is they played favorites with their children. That's a way to destroy your family. They played favorites with their children. [15:22] The girls are the favorite. The oldest son's the favorite. The younger son's the favorite. My little brother grew up almost hating God and definitely hating me. Because my parents constantly told him, why don't you like your big brother? [15:37] Because I was a kid who never did wrong. I mean, from the time I was little, I knew I was going to be a preacher. And although I got my rear tore up all the time, they threw that in his face all the time. In Genesis 25, 28, the Bible said, Isaac loved Esau because he did eat of his venison. [15:52] But Rebecca loved Jacob. A couple of things to young parents. If you're not careful, you'll let your children divide the two of you. [16:05] I'm just going to talk to you. This is Thursday night. So let me just talk to you. You know, did you know your kids will lie to you? You that have young kids. [16:16] It's amazing how you honestly believe that your children aren't like you. You're a liar. And if you're honest, you know you've lied. And it's amazing. [16:26] I get phone calls and they call up and they say, my child tells me about the wickedness of this other missionary's kid. And I said, I wouldn't believe it. [16:38] I said, just let me tell you right now. I think that your kid's right. I think that other missionary's kid's a sick little pervert. But I also think yours is. A depraved, sinful, wicked kid. [16:50] But it's amazing how we sometimes don't realize that our kids are sinners. Can I remind you? All have sinned except your children. [17:02] For all have sinned except my children and come short of the glory of God. Except my children. I raised them right and my kids would never do wrong. That's not true. You're making a big mistake. They made a big mistake. [17:13] They allowed competition between the children for the parents' love. Amazing. Esau's going to go kill a deer and daddy's going to love him more. And maybe Jacob's going to cook a better pot of beans. [17:25] And mom's going to love him. They used unjust judgment and discipline. They caused the children to fight among themselves as they sought to get everything for themselves. [17:36] I'm going to leave that one. But let me just say this to you. You're going to find out your kids aren't the same. I say this from a Bible perspective. I also say it from a dad and a granddad. [17:47] You know, you've got one son who's just a genius in math. You know, I have one son. I promise you, if you put any barrier in front of him, he would knock it down to get where he's going. [17:58] And you wouldn't stop him. I have another son who would play, sing the guitar, and ride a skateboard off the top of that mountain. And he'd be saying, I can't believe they put this mountain here. [18:10] There's a heap of fun. I mean, that's the literal truth. One of them is going to bulldoze it. The other one is going to have a good time on the mountain. You're like, where did this kid come from? One of them is a schemer like me. [18:23] The other one, I don't know where he got it. Maybe a mama. You're sweet and loving and kind. But if you're not careful, you're not careful, you'll destroy a good family by having favorites. [18:39] Number two. Dad, this is mainly for you. If you ignore and reject God's plan in working in your family, you'll destroy your family. [18:49] If you ignore and reject God's plan in working in your family, you'll destroy your family. In Genesis chapter 27 and verse 1, he's going to bless Esau. [19:02] The blessing is normally a public service. You get all the family and all the servants together and everybody knows dad just put the blessing on the big brother. [19:12] Dad just laid out the blessing. But Esau, excuse me, Isaac knows full well it's not supposed to be Esau. He knows that it was prophesied when they were in the womb. [19:23] Do you really think that Rebecca never said to him, I was asking the Lord why the babies are fighting and the Lord told me that the youngest would rule over the older and the older would serve the younger? You think that was never discussed? [19:35] You think they never knew that? I think they knew that. But I think Isaac said, I really like Esau better and I really don't care what God wants on this particular issue. I have my own opinion. [19:47] I'd just like to say to you, I don't know how many families I've watched tear themselves all to pieces because they knowingly decide to bless Esau when God's plan is to bless Jacob. [20:00] In chapter 27 and verse 1, Isaac's old, his eyes are dim. Esau is his oldest son and he knows he's about to die and he says, hey buddy, go kill me a deer and bring him in here in the bedroom and we'll eat him together and I'll bless you here. [20:14] Nobody has to know. But Isaac and Rebecca, they knew. They knew. Isaac had entreated the Lord in chapter 25 and verse 21 and the Lord gave him the kids. [20:27] And in verse 23, the Lord said unto her, two nations are in your womb. The Lord said unto her, two nations are in your womb. Two men or people shall be separated from your bowels. One people shall be stronger than the other and the elder shall serve the younger. [20:41] And when the babies came out, it was just like the Bible said or like God had said, she delivered twins. Isaac, a man of God who had asked God to give him the baby, decides not to follow what God's plan is. [20:55] Isaac privately invites Esau to have a private ceremony. Rebecca knows that Esau is about to, what Esau's, or what Isaac's about to do. [21:06] She knows, Jacob's already purchased the birthright with a bowl of beans. And Isaac seems to not care what God wants. And he rebels against God's will for his family. [21:16] It's Thursday night, I'm talking to the family. But can I just say that so many times when God wants to do something with your kid, you rebel against that. [21:28] And God's working in your family and you rebel against that. And I would just like to say to you, there's somebody bigger than us working in our families. And we want our kid to have a good job. [21:41] We want our kid to have a good education. And we have our kid's life all mapped out for them. And sometime whenever God deals with one of our children, our heart rises up inside of us and says, no, no, no, not what God wants. [21:55] And what I think I have seen as I've traveled across America and other places, but mostly America, I have met no telling how many people who wanted to do something for God. [22:06] And their biggest enemy for wanting to do something for God was their parents. Was their parents. Their parents said, no, you need to do this. [22:19] No, you need to do this. No, you need to do this. And their parents. When and before it's over, the kid who had a desire has lost a desire. You may be thinking to yourself, well, if they'd have really been God dealing with them, if they had really had God dealing with them, they'd have overcome it. [22:35] That's a good attitude to have. So don't worry about it. Whatever will be, will be. No matter what I do. So it doesn't really matter. Just do what you want to do. That's really a good godly attitude. Be careful to seek. [22:47] Please realize somewhere along the way, God gave you these kids for a purpose. And it wasn't to carry on your family name. And it wasn't to have a big fancy Christmas. There's a great God in heaven who has a plan for your family. [23:00] There's a great God in heaven that gave you those kids. Take it seriously. Kind of stand back. Play a little hands off a little bit. And say, God, I'll raise these kids and I'll train these kids. [23:12] I don't know what you might want to do with them. And I'll let you work in my kids' lives. I think Isaac messed up. I think Isaac messed up big time. Next thing I'd like to show you, this is Rebecca's fault. [23:24] She schemes and seeks to control her husband rather than use godly influence. I don't know how many ladies do this. And you can, I told you you wouldn't like me after tonight's message. But I really think this is a truth. [23:38] In verse 5, Rebecca hears what Isaac says he's going to do. And she goes and talks to Jacob. And she says, come on, buddy, let's fool dad. Let's deceive dad. Let's not do what daddy wants. [23:52] I want you to get the blessing. She even has a nerve to tell her son, don't worry. If dad gets mad and puts a curse on you, we'll just tell God to put the curse on me. [24:09] Ladies, you have such a powerful position in your family. I have watched preacher after preacher. [24:21] In fact, I could name names, but I won't. Men I've trained and men I've worked with. And the lady uses her influence and hurts her husband's ministry. [24:34] Rebecca's like, I know what I want. By the way, what Rebecca happens to want is what God's going to do anyway. Had she had just stood back and prayed, God would have done it. I mean, God already told her that the boy was going to be the leader. [24:47] God's already told her that Jacob's going to be the man. I mean, she had God speak to her. That's pretty powerful stuff. But she's like, I know, but God's going to need my help. And the wicked thing is, before this story is over, Esau and Jacob are going to hate each other, be afraid of each other. [25:03] Rebecca's going to be separated from her two kids because neither one of the kids are going to love her. Jacob's going to be away 20 years before he comes back. Esau's going to go marry people and live with people and do things he shouldn't do just to spite his mama. [25:15] And I doubt, seriously, Isaac and Rebecca go to bed the same night and say, man, things are like they always were. We've got the same sweet marriage. I doubt it. She's scheming and conniving. [25:27] She's willful and rebellious and devious. She's totally unsubmissive. She doesn't go to him and say, honey, wait a minute. I heard you say to Esau you're going to bless him. [25:40] Don't you remember what God said? Maybe Isaac is whispering that to Esau because he knows what Rebecca might say. But instead of Rebecca peeling, ladies, if you have something, you do need to talk to us. [25:52] Men are stupid. We're stupid. I mean, I've got a capital stupid written right across my forehead. I need Betty often to say to me, you're not thinking right. [26:03] I cannot tell you the number of times she's called my hand on things. I'm not the best driver and most patient guy. I do pretty good in America because things are so organized. [26:15] But in Peru, where you can make five lanes out of two and it's okay, and if you want to run up on the sidewalk and drive, not a real problem. Just run people off and keep driving. [26:26] I mean, I like that. And somebody cut me off in traffic. Man, I could cut them off right back. And Betty would just lean over and say, Channel 33, you're on TV. [26:36] People watch you all the time. We was on the way to the Bible study last night. We'd been to a couple of hotels looking at a place maybe to start the church. [26:46] And I ran through a four-way stop. Nobody's ever at that stop. And I was on my way through. Please don't come arrest me. But I did. And I ran through and Betty said, Well, that's a great testimony. Right before you go preach. [27:00] I said, I'm late. She said, Well, maybe you should get a sign that says, I sin because I'm late. She's a sweet woman. Y'all all think she's quiet and meek. [27:13] Only when you're watching. Robert was in the car. He heard her do all that. But can I just say this? Rebecca destroyed her family. You say, Well, it had to happen so God could get done what God wanted done. [27:28] No, it didn't have to happen. God's going to get done what God's going to get done, period. Amen. I'd have far rather her been able to go to bed with her husband that night and not been the devious plotter behind his back. [27:40] I don't know what the relationship was after that. How about this one? The next one. How to destroy your family. Teach your child to get what's coming by whatever means possible. Teach your child to get whatever. [27:53] Boy, American parents are so good at that. His mother said to him in chapter 27, verse 13, Hey, let the curse be on me. Obey my voice. [28:03] You just do what I say and go get me the goat. And so she fixed the goat, took the skins, put it on her son and all that stuff. His mother says, Don't worry about it. [28:14] Don't care about what your daddy says. Let me teach you how to lie and trick and deceive and cheat. By the way, Jacob's going to get real good at it. He's going to get real good at it. [28:27] But he's also going to get hurt by it. Because every time he tries to cheat people, Laban will cheat him ten times. Cheaters so cheating and re-cheating. [28:38] Here's a dad who rejects God's will. A mom who deceives her dad and her husband into doing wrong. And a mom who teaches her child how to do wrong. So I just want to make you mad. [28:50] So here it comes. You don't ever listen to the teacher. You're always right. The teacher says your kid did wrong. And you're like, My kid? You got all them other kids in that room and I know they're demons. [29:03] But my kid's a good kid. My kid doesn't lie. My kid doesn't cheat. My kid doesn't. Wake up. Let me just tell you something. I know that my kids are wicked. Because they're like their daddy. [29:18] And if you have such an overinflated view of yourself, you need to wake up. We've taught our kids. We earned the society we live in. [29:29] Where football players kill their friends. We earned the society we live in where people shoot each other at the gas station. We earned the society we lived in where they cut each other off in traffic and then blow each other away. [29:41] We earned that society by teaching our kids to be like that. You get what you want, son. I'll help you. By hook or crook, you can have it. Your best life now and I can teach you how to get it. [29:54] Don't care who you got to cheat to get it, but I can show you how. You said, you're exaggerating. Not really. Not with Rebecca. I might be with you, but not with Rebecca. Rebecca's like, you're supposed to get the blessing. [30:05] And your dumb dad is about to bless the wrong guy. And we're going to prove, we're going to fix it where he can't. How about the next one? You work your magic and deception until you lose it all. [30:17] Until you lose everything. 2741, Esau hated Jacob because of the blessing. He said, I will kill my brother. [30:28] Then will I slay my brother Jacob. Verse 41. Verse 45 is an interesting verse. I wish you'd mark, Mom. And Betty and I have lived long enough to now, I know some of this to be true. [30:42] You think your kids will always be right and always do right. And you think everything's going to work out perfect, but things don't always work out like you planned. And Rebecca says in verse 45, why should I be deprived of both of you in one day? [30:57] She said, look, Esau now hates me because I just helped you cheat him out of his birthright. And he's fixing to kill you. I'm going to lose both of you in one day. But she effectively lost both of them in one day. Because she sends Jacob away to never see him again on the side of death. [31:12] Learn to cheat and lie and deceive until you become really good at it. Learn to cheat, lie and deceive until you become very good at it. [31:27] That will destroy a family in a heartbeat. I ate lunch with some guys I didn't know today. One of the men looked across the table at me and said, you know, you can't trust anybody. [31:40] And he laid in and I just thought to myself, I'm about to preach that. He said, they'll give you a contract. They won't keep the contract. They'll say this and they won't do it. They're liars or cheats. [31:51] Big companies. You can't trust people. Verse 12, chapter 27, verse 12. Jacob says, my father might just figure out I'm lying to him and he will think of me as a deceiver. [32:03] And I'll bring a curse on me and not a blessing. Can I just show you the irony of that verse? The irony of that verse? I'm trying to cheat to get a blessing. [32:15] And what if daddy figures out who I really am? But he doesn't think of who I am. He said, I might appear to him to be a cheat. You are a cheat, buddy. Hey, Jake, you're a cheat. [32:28] You're a stinking cheater. You are. You don't seem to be. You are a cheat. Lose all reverence to the point you use God in your schemes. [32:44] In verse 20, Isaac said unto his son, how is it that you found him so quickly, my son? And he said, because the Lord your God brought him to me. You get so bad, you use God in your lie. [32:57] I'm on page 17 to 21 and we won't finish. But let me say this. How about this one? And this is such a young church that this isn't going to affect the majority of you. [33:10] But how about this one to destroy it? Your family. Let the fear of death and getting old be an excuse to do things you would have never considered doing when you were younger. I don't know where we are in Isaac's life, but it seems that Ishmael died at 137. [33:28] Ishmael died about 137 years old. So I think old Isaac's thinking to himself, my older brother died at 137. I'm 137. That's about time to die. I'm probably going to die. Hey son, go get the goat, kill a deer, go kill a deer and come back in and let me bless you because I'm fixing to die. [33:45] His eyes are dim. He can't hardly see. Maybe that caused him to be that way. Old age can be a blessing or it can be a horror. You can use your life and experiences to train others and help them grow or you can die selfishly. [33:59] You can be bitter and cranky. Isaac can't see well. He thinks he's going to die, but he's going to live decades. He's going to live longer than the majority of us in this room have been alive. [34:14] He's going to live about 43 more years. We ought to pray to finish well. We ought to pray to finish well. Isaac married exactly like he ought to be. [34:28] Isaac went up on the hill and laid himself on the altar as a grown man. He wasn't a 12 year old boy. Isaac, you really messed up at the last. We should pray to finish well. [34:43] Let me say a couple of things about the foolishness of this old man. He decides to do what he wants, even though it's not God's will. Chapter 27, verse 1, he calls his son and he knows. [34:56] He knows. Him and Rebecca have been married for many years. The boys are 77. You don't think they've had a discussion about him yet. Their teenagers are 77 years old. [35:11] Seven, seven. They know a lot by now. They've had some discussion. They didn't have the internet so they wouldn't talk. They didn't have TV where they couldn't talk to each other. [35:22] They didn't even have telephones. I mean, all they had was them. Lights went out at night. What are you going to do? You can talk. I mean, who sleeps 13 hours a night? I don't answer. He whines about his age and his upcoming death, though he'll live 40 more years. [35:38] He makes a major spiritual decision based on what he wants and not what God wants. He decides things without talking him over with his wife. A wise man would have gone to his wife and said, hey, honey, it's time to bless the boys. [35:55] It's time. I'm going to bless Esau. And I'm not going to ignore your opinion. You're wise. You've been a good mom. You've helped me raise these kids. And I might be the head of the house, but I want to talk to you. He's lost the spiritual leadership of his home. [36:08] He's lost the spiritual leadership. He doesn't have the heart of his wife or his children. What a pathetic way to live. His wife, he doesn't own her heart. [36:23] It would break my heart to think that my wife was in the other room scheming and plotting against me and what I wanted. [36:34] But that's where it's gotten to. He doesn't have the heart of his wife or his children. They live together, but they live separate. They're not literally divorced, but they're emotionally divorced. [36:48] He wants to keep a private ceremony at what should have been a large family celebration. He wants a selfish meal. Bring me the venison that I like the way I like it. I don't care what anybody else wants. [37:00] You go get what I want. And we'll have this private meeting. And he's easily deceived. He's lost all discernment. He can't even figure out which one of his boys is which one. [37:14] A little hard of hearing, baby. But he recognized him. He said, you sound like Jacob. I'm not Jacob, Dad. I'm not Jacob, Dad. Well, let me feel like you. And he picks up a sheepskin and sticks it in his daddy's face. [37:28] And his daddy feels it and says, oh, feels like Esau. But you sure sound like Jacob. God's lost all of that. And then he blames all of his mistakes on somebody else. [37:42] When Esau comes in and says, Dad, are you going to bless me? Verse 35. He says, your brother came and subtly tricking me, he took away your blessing. [37:55] Not my fault, buddy. Not my fault I'm old and blind and dumb and try to sneak around. Mom wasn't here to help me know what was going on. None of the servants were here. It's just me in a dark room in the tent. [38:10] And he blames his mistakes on somebody else. Maybe he feels like he deserves the pity and the special consideration that his old age should demand. [38:22] I'd just like to stop and say this. Do you want to destroy your family? I think every wife in this room ought to say, I don't want that to happen. I think every man in this room ought to say, I'm going to be the spiritual leader. [38:35] I'm going to win the heart of my wife. And I'm going to keep it. I'm going to win the heart of my wife. And I'm going to keep it. We got married because we won her heart. Why do you think living together 50 years has to make you lose her heart? [38:48] You should win her heart. His wife ought to have been saying, whatever. He's a man of God. She doesn't think that. I think maybe in her mind she's thinking, Isaac's going to do the wrong thing here. [39:01] I don't know. I'm just thinking, she might have been thinking, I'm going to help Isaac out. He's too dumb. He's going to bless the wrong one. So I'll teach my son to lie and cheat. Then look at the last person that I'll talk to you about. [39:19] That's what we saw. He was so hung up on this world, this present world, that he shows no interest in real things. He sold his birthright for a bowl of beans. [39:34] You know what he wants tonight? He wants his daddy's love and his daddy's blessing, even though he doesn't get the birthright. He's embarrassed. He's lost the blessing. [39:45] He gets ruled over. He has to depend on his brother. And he accuses Jacob. And he says, I'll kill him. So just a couple of questions. [39:58] Where's God in all this? As I read this, I thought, you know, I always try to find where man messed up and how God came through and did something great out of all the chaos. And he will. It'll just be a few verses. [40:11] And Jacob will be, it's going to be years. But for us, it's only going to be a few verses. And Jacob will wrestle with an angel all night long until his hip's out of joint. [40:22] And Jacob will figure out, I can't scheme and connive my way to get everything I want. But he will limp the rest of his life. Because God will break him and bring him to the end of himself. [40:36] Even in all the failure, God's going to work out his plan. God's not approving of the sin. He's not approving of Rebecca lying and cheating. He's not approving of Jacob lying and cheating. [40:47] He's going to bring good out of their stupidity. God allows our foolishness to fulfill what he's doing or what he's going to do. But that's no excuse. [41:00] I'd just like to say before I close. I thought and thought and thought. I always think about what you're going to think. What you're going to say to me in your head. [41:11] You never say it to my face maybe. But I think about it. And I can hear some of you saying, well, God got his will anyway, so it really doesn't matter. I had somebody say that to me this week. I wanted to choke his little head off. [41:22] He was like, well, God's going to do what he wants to do. And so he was like, he didn't need to train. He didn't need to prepare himself. Because God's going to do what God's going to do. That's about as lame a thing as you could ever say. [41:33] You ought to face up to reality. Mama, you do make a difference. Daddy, you do make a difference. And yes, God's going to work things out and he'll fix all the chaos. [41:45] But that's no excuse for you to be rebellious against God. It's no excuse for you to say it doesn't matter how I raise my kid. It doesn't matter how I train my children. It doesn't matter how I manage my money. [41:56] There's no excuse for that. This is a big deal. You're a mom. You're a dad. There's no greater privilege. Let me tell you, pastoring a church isn't as great as that. [42:07] God puts precious lives in our hands. And we're going to mess up some stuff if we're not careful. Don't try to blame it on God. Ladies, pray for your husband. [42:22] Love your husband. Motivate your husband. Stop manipulating your husband. Stop trying to run the family. Stop being like old Rebecca and thinking, My husband's so stupid, I've got to figure out a way to trick him to do right. [42:35] Don't do that. Mister, don't lose your wife's heart. Don't lose your wife's heart and her respect. I would hope that my wife would say, He'll do the right thing. [42:53] He'll seek God. He may act stupid sometimes, Run through four-way stops sometimes, And be dumb as all get out. But, The Lord will work in his life, And he'll come around and do the right thing. [43:05] Much more than I would like to think that she thinks. The opposite. Win her heart. Win the heart of your children. [43:17] Let them know you love them. Let them know you love Jesus. A perfectly good family. Ruined. Ruined. Oh, God's going to bring some stuff out. [43:27] But oh, Esau, He's going to become, The story we tell, When we want to talk about somebody who's so carnal, So wicked. He's going to become that guy. My son. [43:38] I don't want my son to be that. I would hate, To think, That that's the road we're on. And we wouldn't change. And say, God, I love my husband. [43:48] I love my wife. I love my children. I'll seek your will. And I'll just say this to, All of us that are over 40. If you're over 40, We're going to get old. [44:00] Just don't get cranky. Just don't get bitter, And mean. Let's don't become the guys that Don't share what they know. Let's teach a young generation. Father, I love you. [44:11] And I thank you for the privilege of Sharing your word. And I pray that your name would be glorified And magnified tonight. And I just pray that you would do a work In our church, In our midst. And I'll give you praise and honor and glory For all that you do. [44:25] I love you and I praise you. This message was recorded at Vision Baptist Church in Alfred, Georgia. For more information, Log on to www.visionbaptist.com Where you can find our service times, Location, Contact information, And more audio and video recordings.