Good morning. My name is Matthew. I'm here at Cheyenne Mountain Presbyterian Church, and it's my joy to bring God's word to you today.
Special welcome if you're new or visiting with us. We're glad that you're here, and we're glad that you're here not because we're trying to fill seats,
but because we're following Jesus together as one community.
And as we follow Jesus together, we become convinced there's no one so good that they don't need God's grace,
and no one so bad that they can't have it, which is why we come back to God's word over and over again,
because we believe that he has something to say to everyone.
We're continuing our series in the book of Proverbs, and we're going to be in Proverbs chapter 5.
You might be wondering what happened to Proverbs chapter 4. Proverbs as a book works topically,
and so many topics are revisited over and over, and so Proverbs chapter 4 repeats the same themes that we covered in chapters 1 through 3.
This is similar to what we did last summer, where we started out with the first few psalms.
We did Psalm 1 through 3, and then we skipped 4, went to 5. I think we may have skipped 6 and gone to 7.
So that explains why we're in chapter 5.
I told you at the beginning of this series about the practice in my family growing up that we would read the chapter of Proverbs
that corresponded to the day of the month.
So we're actually doing that today. Today's the fifth, and we're reading the fifth chapter.
And it's been practiced not just by my family, but by many individual Christians throughout church history.
And because of that practice in my family, I knew the Proverbs very well.
I knew there were various sections in it.
And there was one night where my parents decided, it seemed like it came out of left field,
they decided they needed us to memorize one verse from the Bible that evening.
And I had, and also they told us, and this was their great downfall,
that we could pick whatever verse we wanted.
Now I had other plans, I think, for that evening, and this was an interruption to those plans.
And I did not like the idea of random Bible verses at night,
and so I decided I was going to put an end to this once and for all.
And knowing my Proverbs well, I went off and I memorized Proverbs chapter 5, verse 19.
And I went back to my parents and I proudly declared,
A lovely deer, a graceful doe, let her breasts fill you at all times with delight,
be intoxicated always in her love.
And my parents were speechless.
And they never asked us to memorize a random Bible verse again.
Now I mention that story not because I was the youngest child in my family,
and maybe a little bit of a punk,
but because of two things that it shows for us.
First, when we talk about sex, we're talking about a subject that's very sensitive.
And I knew this, part of the reason that was the verse I picked.
When we talk about sex, we're also talking about something that the Bible speaks clearly about,
which is why I knew it was safe to pick that verse.
What were my parents going to say?
It's in the Bible.
You said any verse.
And so the same thing is true of us.
Sex is a very sensitive topic, so we need to be careful in the way that we talk about it.
We also need to be bold and clear in talking about it,
because the Bible is bold and clear in talking about it.
And so as we look to be sensitive and careful,
I'll say a few things as we get started.
First, whenever we talk about a controversial or sensitive topic,
I always tell you, I'm going to say something, not everything.
Something, not everything.
Second, this is another area, as I've mentioned in the past,
where we need to talk about the masculine color of the book of Proverbs.
We're going to see a son being told to stay away from a woman who might tempt him.
And it's possible for us to think that maybe the book of Proverbs is misogynistic in some way, right?
Are we supposed to leave this thinking that men are innocent and women are tempters?
Well, no, that's not the point that we're going to take away.
Remember, I've discussed before the genre of Proverbs in the ancient Near East.
Proverbial literature was written in this form.
It was written in the instruction of a father to his son.
And so it makes sense that this would be the warning.
If it were written by a mother to her daughter, we would expect it to be different, right?
We would expect it to be warning about a man who would be tempting.
And so at risk of stating the obvious, both men and women are tempted sexually.
Both men and women tempt.
And it can be hard sometimes the way that we talk about sexuality in the church,
especially when we talk about women's sexuality,
because sometimes it comes off as if it's a men's issue,
and it makes women feel like it's not safe to struggle.
And so it creates an extra level of shame.
And in fact, that's the last thing we want, right?
Because we know that shame and silence is a tool of Satan.
It's what he uses.
So we just want to say these things out loud and say them clearly, right?
Both men and women struggle with sexual integrity,
whether that's adultery and fornication, and I'll talk about this morning,
whether it's pornography, that's an issue for both sexes.
And so it's not that men struggle and women don't, but that we're humans.
All of us are sexual beings and all of us struggle.
And the other thing that's important to say, of course, is as we're coming to these topics,
it will bring up for some of us painful memories,
maybe painful memories of ways that we've fallen short of God's standard in the past,
maybe painful ways that other people have sinned against us in this way in the past.
And so I just want to remind you as those memories come up that of most and greatest importance,
God is with you.
His grace and his forgiveness are real.
And of much less importance, I am with you.
And so with that, let's turn to Proverbs chapter 5.
I invite you to turn in your Bible or in your worship guide near the end.
You can turn on your phone or turn on your phone.
However you go, remember that this is God's word.
And Proverbs chapter 30, verse 5 tells us that every word of God proves true.
He is a shield to those who take refuge in him.
So that's why we read now, starting at verse 1.
My son, be attentive to my wisdom.
Incline your ear to my understanding,
that you may keep discretion and your lips may guard knowledge.
For the lips of a forbidden woman drip honey,
and her speech is smoother than oil.
But in the end, she is bitter as wormwood,
sharp as a two-edged sword.
Her feet go down to death.
Her steps follow the path to shale.
She does not ponder the path of life.
Her ways wander, and she does not know it.
Verse 7.
And now, O sons, listen to me,
and do not depart from the words of my mouth.
Keep your way far from her,
and do not go near the door of her house,
lest you give your honor to others
and your years to the merciless.
Lest strangers take their fill of your strength,
and your labors go to the house of a foreigner.
And at the end of your life,
you groan when your flesh and body are consumed.
And you say,
how I hated discipline,
and my heart despised reproof.
I did not listen to the voice of my teachers
or incline my ear to my instructors.
I am at the brink of utter ruin
in the assembled congregation.
Verse 15.
Drink water from your own cistern,
flowing water from your own well.
Should your springs be scattered abroad,
streams of water in the streets?
Let them be for yourself alone
and not for strangers with you.
Let your fountain be blessed
and rejoice in the wife of your youth,
a lovely deer,
a graceful doe.
Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight.
Be intoxicated always in her love.
Why should you be intoxicated, my son,
with a forbidden woman
and embrace the bosom of an adulteress?
For a man's ways are before the eyes of the Lord,
and he ponders all his paths.
The iniquities of the wicked ensnare him,
and he has held fast in the cords of his sin.
He dies for lack of discipline,
and because of his great folly,
he is led astray.
I invite you to pray with me
as we come to this portion of God's word.
Our Father in heaven,
we thank you
that you don't shy away from hard things,
and we thank you
that you don't leave us alone,
that you don't just create sex
and bodies and men and women,
but you give us guidance
and instructions and rules
to protect us
and to keep us safe.
We ask that you'd help us
this morning
as we talk about
good and hard things,
that you'd send your spirit
to give us the grace that we need,
that we would hear from you
and believe and follow you.
We ask these things in Jesus' name.
Amen.
As I've mentioned,
in the past,
I grew up in the Presbyterian Church.
I grew up in this denomination
that we're in now,
and I've tallied it up recently,
not counting Cheyenne Mountain.
I've been a member of some sort
of five different churches
in the PCA,
in our denomination.
And as I added up,
in three of those churches,
three of those five,
there was at least one leader
who ended up,
you know,
an elder, deacon, staff member,
who ended up,
their marriage ended up ending
because of their adultery.
So three out of five,
leaders,
Presbyterian churches,
two of the other two of the five,
there was a leader
or a staff member
whose marriage ended.
Given the circumstances,
I'm not sure
if it was because of adultery or not.
So three of the five,
clearly adultery,
five of those five churches,
that was what happened.
Not for just someone coming to church,
but for a leader,
someone who's prominent in the church.
Even more than that,
in one of the churches
that I grew up in,
the one I was at
when I was in elementary school,
it's a very small church.
And of the kids that I was with
in Sunday school
in that very small church
and in a homeschool co-op,
now there have been
four pregnancies
that have come out of marriage,
out of wedlock.
And I tell you that story
not to be heavy,
not to be a downer,
but to highlight
what this passage
is highlighting for us,
which is that we are not immune
to sexual temptation.
I mentioned when we talked
about the issue of violence
that it's tempting
to believe that
if we're in the church,
if we're part of good,
conservative,
reformed Presbyterian churches,
that somehow,
you know,
we'll struggle
with these normal sins.
Maybe we'll struggle
with pride or lust.
Maybe we'll be tempted
to gossip,
but of course
we wouldn't struggle
with adultery, right?
We wouldn't be tempted
to actually commit violence
or to trample the poor.
And yet this Israelite father
writing to his Israelite son
realizes that
even as he's raising him
in the covenant community,
this is a very real temptation.
It's one that he needs
to warn him against.
It's something
that he should be on guard for.
He should not assume
that somehow
this doesn't affect him, right?
When we're in the church,
we're not in this bubble
that's somehow unaffected
by the temptations
of this world.
And so we need
this passage from Proverbs
to remind us
of these very real dangers.
It is a mistake
to think that we
will not be tempted
by sexual sin.
It is a mistake
to think that our children
will not be tempted
by sexual sin.
It is the fool
in Proverbs
who doesn't take guard
against these things,
who's not cautious
about these things.
Remember,
the fool has not committed
to the path of wisdom.
And so it's the fool
who doesn't realize
that these temptations
are very real
and very threatening.
We see this allure
that happens
in verses 1-6.
This woman is coming.
She is potentially saying
wonderful things
to this man,
things he's longed
for someone to say to him.
She's seducing him.
Her lips drip honey.
Verse 3,
her speech is smoother
than oil.
There's potentially
a sexual innuendo
going on here
that she's offering
things to this man
that feel
and experiences
that are incredibly
pleasurable.
And so that helps us
understand why
this temptation
is so strong,
why it's alluring to him.
Despite all he has to lose,
he is going to feel
drawn to it.
And of course,
we can say the same thing
for women, right?
There might be a man
who says wonderful things,
whose lips drip with honey,
who tells her the things
she's always wanted to hear.
And there's going to be
a very real temptation
to give in to that.
And so the first thing
we're told here
is simply that
sexual temptation is real.
It's something
that affects us.
The second thing
we're shown here
is that this temptation,
while it presents
as something wonderful,
actually leads to death.
It seems
that it's like honey, right?
Her lips seem like honey.
What do they end up
tasting like?
Verse 4,
actually really bitter.
Bitter is important.
There's a bait and switch
going on.
You're offered something
that seems wonderful.
It ends up
being something terrible.
We again find
our metaphor
of the path here, right?
Her path,
verse 6,
is not the path of life,
but verse 5,
the path to shale.
She leads to death.
Sexual sin
leads to death.
Adultery,
fornication,
lead to death.
death.
We're given
in verses 7-14
a picture
of the type of death
that they lead to,
and there's an emphasis
here on ruin.
There's a financial ruin.
Verse 9,
you're giving your years
to the merciless.
Strangers
are taking your labors
and your strength.
What you do
is going to go
to the house
of a foreigner,
so there's financial
implications to this.
There's physical complications.
Verse 11,
at the end of your life,
you're going to groan
because your flesh
and body are consumed.
There's going to be
a groaning,
an agony
that you experience
in this life
from this sin.
Now,
what's going on
in the book of Proverbs,
most likely in this
cultural setting,
there's a legal recourse
for the spouse
who is harmed by adultery.
So, for example,
let's say there's a wife,
her husband commits adultery,
her husband and his wife
commits adultery.
The person who is harmed,
the innocent spouse,
would be able
to come after them
for financial ramifications.
Now,
that actually used
to be true
in the United States.
It's not true anymore.
We don't have
that specific consequences,
but there are still
consequences
that come from sexual sin.
I'll give you
a few examples.
There was a article
that came out
a few years back
in a wall journal
of all places,
and the article's title
was a question.
The question was this,
does sex
still make babies?
The answer is,
wait for it,
yes.
This was, of course,
examining in the light
of birth control,
saying,
with the reality
of birth control,
do we really think
of sex as something
that's connected
to children?
And it talked about
the failure rate
of birth control.
No matter how well
you are using birth control,
no matter what you have
available to you,
you still have the chance
of having a child.
Ask many married couples
about this, by the way.
And, of course,
that's going to have
financial legal ramifications,
right?
You may end up
giving your honor,
your wealth to others
because you're suddenly
supporting not one family,
but two.
Or maybe you're in a situation
where you're trying
to support a family,
but you don't have
the support you need,
right?
There's a financial element there.
It may lead not to that.
It may lead to a divorce.
It's common knowledge
that divorce is one
of the great destroyers
of wealth.
And, of course,
we're not just talking
about this in pragmatic terms.
This person's groaning
at the end of his life.
There's the risk of disease,
right?
But there's also
the fact that maybe
he's groaning
out of the loneliness
that he has.
He's abandoned
the spouse that he committed to
or she's abandoned
the spouse she committed to.
And suddenly,
at the end of their life,
they don't have
what you would have
from investing in a marriage
over a lifetime.
Maybe this is a single person
who's chosen promiscuity
over marriage.
They, at the end of their life,
they don't have something
to look back on and hold.
So there's this ruin
that the author of Proverbs,
that Solomon,
holds out to us.
There's real
and true destruction.
There's emotional destruction
we could talk about.
And so he's warning them.
I told you before,
our greatest warning
are not the consequences
of sin,
but our loves.
But the consequences
of sin still matter.
And he's telling him,
look, this leads to death
in real and practical ways
in this world.
Don't believe the lie.
Don't believe the lie
that you can indulge in this
for a minute
and it will not affect you.
Now, with the physical
and legal
and relational implications,
of course,
there's one consequence
that's even greater
than all of those.
It comes at the very end here.
Verse 21,
Verse 23,
In other words,
even if none of these
consequences happen to you,
God still sees.
And if you persist
in unrepentant sexual sin,
you have reason
to question
whether you are
actually a Christian.
If you persist
in unrepentant sexual sin,
you should question
whether you're actually
a Christian
if God has given you
a new heart.
I'm not talking about
those who struggle
with sin, right?
All of us struggle
with sin.
All of us have
sexual brokenness.
I'm not talking about
those who are fighting
a good fight
against temptation.
I'm talking about
those who are not
fighting any fight.
They should question
if there's no struggle
against sin in your life,
you should question
whether you belong to God.
And so that's
an even greater consequence
than all of these.
No matter how well
things go in your life,
at the end of time,
you will answer to God
for how you lived
in this world,
including what you did
with your body.
And so the Father here
is warning His Son
of the very serious
temporal consequences
consequences,
and the very serious
eternal consequences.
That sexual sin
will bring Him
death.
Thankfully,
there's not just
a warning here
in Proverbs chapter 5,
but there's also
a word of hope.
There's a solution
that's given,
a particular solution
for this passage.
There's actually
a couple of them.
Verse 8 says,
keep far away from her.
Do not go near the door
of her house.
I'm not going to focus
as much on that
this morning
because we're going
to have a chance
to talk in chapters 6
and 7 about what it
looks like to keep
far away,
about running from temptation.
And so instead,
I'm going to focus
on the other element
that's given to us here
in verses 15 through 20.
Back in a long time ago,
in 2017,
I told you the story
of the actor,
Paul Newman,
who was married
to Joanne Woodward
for 50 years.
And it was rare
for someone to have
that long of a marriage
in that industry,
in the film industry.
And so he was asked
at one point,
how have you remained
faithful for this long
in this kind of setting,
in this culture,
in the way,
places where you run,
how have you done it
to stay married
for 50 years?
And Paul responded
with this quip.
I have steak at home.
Why should I go out
for hamburger?
Now, you might find
that illustration
crass,
but it's similar
to the image
that's used
in this next passage.
We see,
not steak and hamburger,
but water.
Verses 15 and 16,
drink water
from your own cistern,
flowing water
from your own well.
Should your springs
be scattered abroad,
streams of water
in the streets?
In other words,
you have high quality
water at home.
Why would you go out
to the city
and scoop up water
from a puddle
and drink that?
Why would you drink
dirty water like that?
That doesn't make any sense.
You have your own well
at home.
Same thing he's saying
about sexual sin.
This is speaking specifically
to married people.
Why would you go out there?
You have a relationship
at home.
You have your marriage.
Embrace that.
In other words,
the application is this.
Make your sexual relationship
with your spouse
a priority.
Make it something
that you pursue.
Make it something
that you create time for.
Make it something
that you work at.
Now, there's many reasons
for this,
but the reason given here
is specifically
about sexual temptation.
Paul tells us
the same thing
in 1 Corinthians 7
in the New Testament.
work on your sexual relationship
so that you won't be tempted,
so that you can avoid
sexual sin.
Make it a priority,
whatever it looks like,
for that stage of life,
for your stage of life.
Women,
seduce your husband.
men,
pursue your wife.
That is one of the primary ways,
the avenues
that God has given
for people to escape
sexual sin
and sexual temptation.
salvation.
We're then told something else here.
Now, I'm not going to go
into detail,
but there are people
who believe what's going on here
in verses 15
through 18
is a very explicit,
graphic,
sexual innuendo.
But what's here
in verse 19
is a prayer.
And it's a prayer
from the Father
about his son's marriage.
Now, this is a very bold prayer.
I am going,
I'm guessing you've probably
never heard a prayer like this,
prayed at a wedding.
I'm going to be
in a wedding
in October,
and I don't think
I'm going to be bold enough
to pray this prayer,
although who knows,
I've got a few months
to kind of
work myself up.
But the prayer
in verse 19
is this.
I am praying
that you'd be filled
at all times
with delight,
be intoxicated
always in her love.
In other words,
I am praying
for you
in your marriage
that you would have
a lot of sex.
And I am praying
that that sex
would be really,
really good
and that you would enjoy it.
That is this father's prayer
for his son.
And so that's the urging
of Solomon
for those who are married,
that they would pursue
that same thing
in their marriages.
And of course,
there's a lot of
caveats, right?
This is going to look
different at different
ages and stages.
Writing to a youth here,
he has a youth
kind of sex drive.
There are very real
health issues
and complications
that are going to make
this hard.
There are times
and seasons
in a marriage
where it would actually
be unwise
to pursue sex.
And so we're talking
about the ideal here.
This is an ideal image
that's given.
It doesn't rule out
exceptions.
It doesn't rule out
the complications
of life
in the real world.
And yet,
it's still an ideal
that God holds out
for his people
to pursue
in marriage.
And so I'll say
a couple things
in general
and then a couple things
about specific situations.
First of all,
this is something
for them to work on
together.
Both of them,
if we follow the logic
of some of this innuendo,
are very excited
about what's happening.
The husband
and the wife
are very excited
about their sexual
relationship
with one another.
Which means
that the application
of this
is not
to use this passage
as some sort
of guilt manipulation.
Do not go home
and say,
the pastor said
we need to have sex.
No,
the application is
go home,
take responsibility,
work on it together.
What is it going
to take from me
to make this
really good for you?
What do we need
to do
so that we
as a couple
can move forward?
What's the next step
we have to make
in working towards
God's ideal?
What is it that we need
to do to protect
each other
from sexual temptation?
We may not be
at verse 19 tomorrow.
That's true
of all of God's ideals.
But we can take
our next step
towards verse 19.
And this may,
right,
this is going to take
probably more time
and more space
the older you get.
So again,
different,
it's going to look
differently
for different people,
different stages
and ages of life.
And it may take
some very,
very painful conversations.
If you're talking
about what is this
going to look like
for us to move
towards this ideal,
it may involve
some conversations
about things
you've never talked
about,
very painful things
that have happened
in the past,
painful things you've
done against each other,
painful words
that have been spoken.
And that conversation
is worth having.
There may have to be
things outside
of the bedroom
that get fixed
before things
inside the bedroom
get fixed.
It's part of the logic
of marriage.
It's part of how God
uses the sexual
relationship between
a husband and a wife
to encourage them
to work on their
relationship together.
For some of you,
I realize this is probably
an especially painful topic
and it's an especially
painful topic
because we may be
so far away
from verse 19
that sex in marriage
is a distant memory,
right?
Maybe it's something
from months ago
or years ago
or decades ago.
And the word
of discouragement
and defeat
when we think
about God's ideal,
that is a word
from the enemy,
right?
But Satan
is the father
of lies.
He's the one
who comes to lie
to us
and pile shame
on us.
It's God
who comes
to speak truth
and hope
to us.
And so first of all,
we have to realize
there's hope.
There's real hope.
And so there's
a future,
right,
if we're in Christ.
You may feel lost,
but you're never alone.
I'll remind you
of the illustration
I gave you
when we talked
about sexual addiction,
specifically in 1 Peter,
the illustration
of the forest.
If you walk 10 miles
into a forest,
how long is it going
to take to walk out?
It's going to take
10 miles to walk out.
So if you've walked
your way far,
far away
from verse 19,
it can take a long time
to walk back
to verse 19.
Wherever you are,
wherever you are
in your journey,
take the next step.
The next step
might be realizing
and admitting
that you're lost.
And you're almost
certainly going
to need help
to walk your way
out of the forest.
If you've never gone
to marriage counseling,
that's not something
to be proud of.
There are people
who are proud
of the fact
that they've never
sought help.
I'm not saying
you should be ashamed
that you haven't.
Some people
don't need to go.
But part of embracing
the gospel
is knowing
that it's okay
to not be okay.
It's okay
to talk to other people
about our failures
because it's okay
to fail.
God gives us grace
for that.
So the gospel
frees us up
to go and begin
to confess
and have hard conversations
with other people.
People who understand
the gospel,
they don't boast
in their strength.
They boast
in their weakness.
It takes courage
and strength
and reliance
on Jesus Christ
to begin to talk
about how bad things
might be in your marriage
and take the next step.
If you take the next step,
if you begin to talk
openly about these things,
know that I'm proud of you.
I'm rooting for you.
It takes a lot of courage
to talk about things
that are not right.
It takes vulnerability.
It takes confidence
and trust in God
to know that it's going
to be okay.
And God does have
a future
and a hope for you.
There is always
a future
for people
who belong
to Jesus Christ.
Now,
you might be wondering,
okay,
this is great.
I am so glad
for all those
married people
that they have
an outlet
to escape temptation.
What about
those of us
who are single?
What in the world
does this passage
have to say to us?
Well,
one application
would be this,
and it's the same thing
that Paul again
tells us
in 1 Corinthians 7.
Paul says,
it's better to marry
than to burn.
In other words,
if you are experiencing
a strong
and high sex drive
and you find it
challenging
to work with that
as a single person,
there's an app
for that.
It's called marriage.
It's not wrong
to be single.
There can be
goodness and singleness,
right?
I'm single.
I don't disapprove
of single people,
obviously.
And it's good
and right
to pursue marriage
as part
of your pursuit
of sexual purity.
it's okay
to say,
hey,
I'm not sure
if I can do this
on my own.
I had a conversation
with a friend of mine
not connected
with this church
in any way
in another part
of the country
earlier this week
who had incidentally
and he told me
he's in a place
where he's starting
to think he needs
to pursue marriage
more aggressively
in part
because he believes
that's going to help him
live with greater purity
in his life.
And so if you're
a single person,
it is good
and right
to pursue marriage.
marriage.
You don't have to.
It's good and right
to be single as well.
But if you feel
like your sex drive
is something
that is pulling you
away to temptation
constantly,
that is a good reason
to pursue marriage.
And in fact,
the Proverbs
talks about marriage
as something
that we pursue.
Proverbs 18,
verse 22 says,
it's a blessing
to a man
who finds a wife.
That is a active word.
It's a pursuing word.
There are things
single people
can do
to increase
chances
and likelihood
of marriage.
It doesn't make it simple,
right?
There are single people
who have done
everything they can
and they're still single.
So we don't make
assumptions
or judgments
about why someone's single.
There's also people
who are single
who think of themselves
as victims
when instead
there's all sorts
of things
they can do
to pursue it.
Whether you're a man
or a woman,
there are things
you can do
to make yourself
a more attractive partner.
Whether you're a man
or a woman,
you may have to re-examine
some of your expectations
for marriage.
You may have to think
that some of what you want
or are desiring
is unrealistic.
You may have to deal
with things
in your past
that cause you
to be unable
to make a commitment
like marriage.
All of that to say
there are all sorts
of things
that we can do
as single people
if we desire marriage
to increase our odds.
Now, I'm not saying
it's going to happen
and it's going to guarantee it.
I'm just saying
it's good and right
to pursue it.
And that is one
of the solutions
God has given us
for sexual temptation
is to pursue marriage
as single people.
There's nothing
to be ashamed of
by the way
of being single.
There's many good things
about being single
and there's also
nothing to be ashamed about
of wanting
to be married
and pursuing marriage.
Marriage is not
the only answer
it's one of the answers
that the Bible provides.
It's a reason Paul says
it's better to marry
than to burn.
Now, I've told you before
that there are
many negative reasons
that we
go away from sin.
Proverbs lists
many of those.
We've listed many of them
this morning.
But ultimately,
it's not the consequences
of sin
that we want to use
as our greatest motivation.
We want
a greater love.
We talked about
our loves
in chapter
two.
So we want to love
something more.
We want something
to be even greater
than the offer
of sexual satisfaction.
And sex is
a gift from God.
He's given it to us
to point to something
that's even more glorious
than sex itself.
It's pointing,
it's looking forward
to an even greater
and fuller intimacy
and community
that we are going
to have
with God
in heaven.
And so we can see it
knowing that it's good
and knowing that it points
to something better.
We can desire
that something better.
There's a French man
whose name
I'm going to butcher,
Francois Marillac,
who struggled
with sexual temptation
and he looked at
the consequences
that came from it
and he said,
at the end of the day,
what motivates me
is not the danger.
The warnings aren't
what's most helpful to me.
What motivates me
is Jesus' words
in Matthew chapter five
when he says,
blessed are the pure
in heart
for they shall see God.
It's my desire
to see God,
my love for him.
It's that greater love
that's greater
than my sexual drives.
That is what motivates me
because I know
that that sex
is something small
that points
to something big
and that something big
is being able
to see God.
And so that empowers us
and enables us.
Remember,
Jesus makes better promises.
He promises us
something better
than sexual pleasure.
He promises us
something better
than this strange woman
in chapter five
or a strange man.
He promises us himself
and so we can look forward
to that as people
who are married.
There is something better
that God's given us.
He's been faithful to us.
We can model
that faithfulness now
as we look forward
to our intimacy
with him in the future.
As single people,
we can remain
sexually faithful
knowing whatever pleasure
we miss out on
in this world,
there is something
greater for us
in the next.
There is something
greater for us now.
And so we haven't failed
if we do not have
the sexual experiences
that our culture tells us
we need to have
to be successful.
There is a greater
and better definition
of sex
that God gives us
in his word.
In his book,
Why Does God Care
Who I Sleep With?,
a man named Sam Alberry
gives a wonderful illustration
of mistaking
something small
and missing
something that's big.
He says,
there's a scene
in the movie Amadeus
where the young Mozart
meets Emperor Joseph II
for the first time.
As he is led in,
he is presented
before a man
who is dressed grandly
and looks to be
highly important.
So Mozart instinctively
bows low,
thinking him to be
the emperor.
The man looks horrified
and discreetly points
toward the side
of the room
where the actual emperor
is sitting at a piano.
It is an awkward moment
as Mozart realizes
what he has done
and he quickly goes on
to acknowledge
the real emperor
appropriately.
He mistook
something small,
someone small
for someone great.
That's what we do
when we mistake sex
as the end of our lives,
the greatest thing
we can experience.
Many of us need
to go through
a similar process
when it comes to
marriage and romance.
When we first encounter it,
it can seem so glorious
and resplendent
with significance
that we easily think
it must be ultimate.
How else do we account
for how it can make us feel?
But the fact remains
that it is the purpose
of such things
to point us
to where fulfillment
is really meant
to be found.
In other words,
it's not sex
that gives us
our greatest fulfillment
and meaning in this life.
That's what the world
wants to tell us.
Instead,
it is God
and our relationship
with Him.
He goes on,
one of the ways
that happens
is when we realize
that our relationships
cannot deliver
all that we expect
from them.
If we look to them
to provide
ultimate satisfaction,
we will only
be disappointed.
C.S. Lewis
puts it so vividly,
we are half-hearted
creatures fooling about
with drink
and sex
and ambition
when infinite joy
is offered us.
Like an ignorant child
who wants to go
on making mud pies
in a slum
because he cannot
imagine what is meant
by the offer
of a holiday
at the sea.
We are far
too easily pleased.
To make sexual freedom
our ultimate goal
is to think
that sex
and romance
is simply
an end
in itself.
Sexual temptation
is real.
The destruction
that comes
from sexual temptation
is real.
God has offered us
many ways out.
One of them
is through the relationship
he gives
husbands and wives
in marriage.
But even more than that,
he has offered us
something greater.
He's offered us
himself.
And so whether
single
or married,
we remain
sexually faithful
because of that,
because of Jesus.
We look forward
to that now.
We practice it now
and we'll celebrate it
even more
in the future.
So I invite you
to pray with me.
Our Father in Heaven,
we just thank you
and praise you
for your word
that reminds us
of what's true
when we're tempted
to believe lies.
We ask that you
would help us
in our sexuality,
the temptations
that face us,
that for those of us
who are married,
that we would walk
more and more
together
in our sex lives,
that it would be
something that builds
up and nurtures
our marriage
and it protects us
from temptation.
We ask for those
of us who are single,
for those who desire
a spouse,
that you would provide it.
And for those
without a spouse,
that you would be
faithful to your promise
that there's no temptation
that you haven't
provided escape from.
That you'd give us
not a love of pleasure,
but an even greater love
of what you offer
to us in your Son.
We ask all of these things
in Jesus' name.
Amen.