WEBVTT

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 Good morning. My name is Matthew. I'm here at Cheyenne Mountain Presbyterian Church, and it's my joy to bring God's word to you today.

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 Special welcome if you're new or visiting with us. We're glad that you're here, and we're glad that you're here not because we're trying to fill seats,

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 but because we're following Jesus together as one community.

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 And as we follow Jesus together, we become convinced there's no one so good that they don't need God's grace,

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 and no one so bad that they can't have it, which is why we come back to God's word over and over again,

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 because we believe that he has something to say to everyone.

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 We're continuing our series in the book of Proverbs, and we're going to be in Proverbs chapter 5.

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 You might be wondering what happened to Proverbs chapter 4. Proverbs as a book works topically,

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 and so many topics are revisited over and over, and so Proverbs chapter 4 repeats the same themes that we covered in chapters 1 through 3.

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 This is similar to what we did last summer, where we started out with the first few psalms.

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 We did Psalm 1 through 3, and then we skipped 4, went to 5. I think we may have skipped 6 and gone to 7.

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 So that explains why we're in chapter 5.

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 I told you at the beginning of this series about the practice in my family growing up that we would read the chapter of Proverbs

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 that corresponded to the day of the month.

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 So we're actually doing that today. Today's the fifth, and we're reading the fifth chapter.

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 And it's been practiced not just by my family, but by many individual Christians throughout church history.

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 And because of that practice in my family, I knew the Proverbs very well.

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 I knew there were various sections in it.

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 And there was one night where my parents decided, it seemed like it came out of left field,

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 they decided they needed us to memorize one verse from the Bible that evening.

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 And I had, and also they told us, and this was their great downfall,

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 that we could pick whatever verse we wanted.

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 Now I had other plans, I think, for that evening, and this was an interruption to those plans.

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 And I did not like the idea of random Bible verses at night,

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 and so I decided I was going to put an end to this once and for all.

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 And knowing my Proverbs well, I went off and I memorized Proverbs chapter 5, verse 19.

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 And I went back to my parents and I proudly declared,

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 A lovely deer, a graceful doe, let her breasts fill you at all times with delight,

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 be intoxicated always in her love.

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 And my parents were speechless.

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 And they never asked us to memorize a random Bible verse again.

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 Now I mention that story not because I was the youngest child in my family,

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 and maybe a little bit of a punk,

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 but because of two things that it shows for us.

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 First, when we talk about sex, we're talking about a subject that's very sensitive.

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 And I knew this, part of the reason that was the verse I picked.

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 When we talk about sex, we're also talking about something that the Bible speaks clearly about,

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 which is why I knew it was safe to pick that verse.

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 What were my parents going to say?

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 It's in the Bible.

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 You said any verse.

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 And so the same thing is true of us.

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 Sex is a very sensitive topic, so we need to be careful in the way that we talk about it.

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 We also need to be bold and clear in talking about it,

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 because the Bible is bold and clear in talking about it.

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 And so as we look to be sensitive and careful,

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 I'll say a few things as we get started.

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 First, whenever we talk about a controversial or sensitive topic,

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 I always tell you, I'm going to say something, not everything.

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 Something, not everything.

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 Second, this is another area, as I've mentioned in the past,

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 where we need to talk about the masculine color of the book of Proverbs.

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 We're going to see a son being told to stay away from a woman who might tempt him.

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 And it's possible for us to think that maybe the book of Proverbs is misogynistic in some way, right?

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 Are we supposed to leave this thinking that men are innocent and women are tempters?

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 Well, no, that's not the point that we're going to take away.

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 Remember, I've discussed before the genre of Proverbs in the ancient Near East.

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 Proverbial literature was written in this form.

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 It was written in the instruction of a father to his son.

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 And so it makes sense that this would be the warning.

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 If it were written by a mother to her daughter, we would expect it to be different, right?

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 We would expect it to be warning about a man who would be tempting.

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 And so at risk of stating the obvious, both men and women are tempted sexually.

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 Both men and women tempt.

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 And it can be hard sometimes the way that we talk about sexuality in the church,

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 especially when we talk about women's sexuality,

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 because sometimes it comes off as if it's a men's issue,

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 and it makes women feel like it's not safe to struggle.

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 And so it creates an extra level of shame.

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 And in fact, that's the last thing we want, right?

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 Because we know that shame and silence is a tool of Satan.

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 It's what he uses.

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 So we just want to say these things out loud and say them clearly, right?

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 Both men and women struggle with sexual integrity,

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 whether that's adultery and fornication, and I'll talk about this morning,

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 whether it's pornography, that's an issue for both sexes.

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 And so it's not that men struggle and women don't, but that we're humans.

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 All of us are sexual beings and all of us struggle.

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 And the other thing that's important to say, of course, is as we're coming to these topics,

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 it will bring up for some of us painful memories,

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 maybe painful memories of ways that we've fallen short of God's standard in the past,

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 maybe painful ways that other people have sinned against us in this way in the past.

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 And so I just want to remind you as those memories come up that of most and greatest importance,

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 God is with you.

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 His grace and his forgiveness are real.

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 And of much less importance, I am with you.

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 And so with that, let's turn to Proverbs chapter 5.

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 I invite you to turn in your Bible or in your worship guide near the end.

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 You can turn on your phone or turn on your phone.

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 However you go, remember that this is God's word.

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 And Proverbs chapter 30, verse 5 tells us that every word of God proves true.

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 He is a shield to those who take refuge in him.

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 So that's why we read now, starting at verse 1.

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 My son, be attentive to my wisdom.

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 Incline your ear to my understanding,

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 that you may keep discretion and your lips may guard knowledge.

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 For the lips of a forbidden woman drip honey,

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 and her speech is smoother than oil.

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 But in the end, she is bitter as wormwood,

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 sharp as a two-edged sword.

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 Her feet go down to death.

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 Her steps follow the path to shale.

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 She does not ponder the path of life.

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 Her ways wander, and she does not know it.

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 Verse 7.

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 And now, O sons, listen to me,

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 and do not depart from the words of my mouth.

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 Keep your way far from her,

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 and do not go near the door of her house,

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 lest you give your honor to others

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 and your years to the merciless.

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 Lest strangers take their fill of your strength,

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 and your labors go to the house of a foreigner.

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 And at the end of your life,

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 you groan when your flesh and body are consumed.

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 And you say,

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 how I hated discipline,

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 and my heart despised reproof.

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 I did not listen to the voice of my teachers

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 or incline my ear to my instructors.

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 I am at the brink of utter ruin

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 in the assembled congregation.

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 Verse 15.

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 Drink water from your own cistern,

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 flowing water from your own well.

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 Should your springs be scattered abroad,

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 streams of water in the streets?

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 Let them be for yourself alone

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 and not for strangers with you.

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 Let your fountain be blessed

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 and rejoice in the wife of your youth,

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 a lovely deer,

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 a graceful doe.

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 Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight.

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 Be intoxicated always in her love.

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 Why should you be intoxicated, my son,

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 with a forbidden woman

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 and embrace the bosom of an adulteress?

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 For a man's ways are before the eyes of the Lord,

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 and he ponders all his paths.

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 The iniquities of the wicked ensnare him,

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 and he has held fast in the cords of his sin.

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 He dies for lack of discipline,

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 and because of his great folly,

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 he is led astray.

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 I invite you to pray with me

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 as we come to this portion of God's word.

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 Our Father in heaven,

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 we thank you

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 that you don't shy away from hard things,

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 and we thank you

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 that you don't leave us alone,

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 that you don't just create sex

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 and bodies and men and women,

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 but you give us guidance

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 and instructions and rules

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 to protect us

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 and to keep us safe.

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 We ask that you'd help us

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 this morning

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 as we talk about

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 good and hard things,

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 that you'd send your spirit

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 to give us the grace that we need,

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 that we would hear from you

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 and believe and follow you.

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 We ask these things in Jesus' name.

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 Amen.

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 As I've mentioned,

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 in the past,

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 I grew up in the Presbyterian Church.

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 I grew up in this denomination

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 that we're in now,

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 and I've tallied it up recently,

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 not counting Cheyenne Mountain.

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 I've been a member of some sort

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 of five different churches

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 in the PCA,

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 in our denomination.

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 And as I added up,

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 in three of those churches,

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 three of those five,

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 there was at least one leader

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 who ended up,

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 you know,

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 an elder, deacon, staff member,

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 who ended up,

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 their marriage ended up ending

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 because of their adultery.

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 So three out of five,

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 leaders,

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 Presbyterian churches,

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 two of the other two of the five,

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 there was a leader

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 or a staff member

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 whose marriage ended.

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 Given the circumstances,

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 I'm not sure

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 if it was because of adultery or not.

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 So three of the five,

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 clearly adultery,

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 five of those five churches,

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 that was what happened.

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 Not for just someone coming to church,

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 but for a leader,

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 someone who's prominent in the church.

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 Even more than that,

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 in one of the churches

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 that I grew up in,

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 the one I was at

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 when I was in elementary school,

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 it's a very small church.

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 And of the kids that I was with

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 in Sunday school

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 in that very small church

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 and in a homeschool co-op,

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 now there have been

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 four pregnancies

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 that have come out of marriage,

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 out of wedlock.

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 And I tell you that story

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 not to be heavy,

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 not to be a downer,

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 but to highlight

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 what this passage

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 is highlighting for us,

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 which is that we are not immune

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 to sexual temptation.

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 I mentioned when we talked

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 about the issue of violence

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 that it's tempting

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 to believe that

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 if we're in the church,

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 if we're part of good,

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 conservative,

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 reformed Presbyterian churches,

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 that somehow,

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 you know,

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 we'll struggle

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 with these normal sins.

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 Maybe we'll struggle

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 with pride or lust.

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 Maybe we'll be tempted

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 to gossip,

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 but of course

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 we wouldn't struggle

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 with adultery, right?

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 We wouldn't be tempted

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 to actually commit violence

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 or to trample the poor.

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 And yet this Israelite father

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 writing to his Israelite son

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 realizes that

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 even as he's raising him

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 in the covenant community,

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 this is a very real temptation.

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 It's one that he needs

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 to warn him against.

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 It's something

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 that he should be on guard for.

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 He should not assume

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 that somehow

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 this doesn't affect him, right?

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 When we're in the church,

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 we're not in this bubble

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 that's somehow unaffected

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 by the temptations

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 of this world.

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 And so we need

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 this passage from Proverbs

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 to remind us

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 of these very real dangers.

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 It is a mistake

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 to think that we

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 will not be tempted

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 by sexual sin.

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 It is a mistake

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 to think that our children

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 will not be tempted

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 by sexual sin.

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 It is the fool

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 in Proverbs

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 who doesn't take guard

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 against these things,

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 who's not cautious

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 about these things.

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 Remember,

00:11:47.939 --> 00:11:49.279
 the fool has not committed

00:11:49.279 --> 00:11:50.779
 to the path of wisdom.

00:11:50.779 --> 00:11:52.459
 And so it's the fool

00:11:52.459 --> 00:11:53.639
 who doesn't realize

00:11:53.639 --> 00:11:55.379
 that these temptations

00:11:55.379 --> 00:11:56.279
 are very real

00:11:56.279 --> 00:11:57.980
 and very threatening.

00:11:58.120 --> 00:11:59.120
 We see this allure

00:11:59.120 --> 00:11:59.699
 that happens

00:11:59.699 --> 00:12:00.819
 in verses 1-6.

00:12:00.899 --> 00:12:01.759
 This woman is coming.

00:12:01.919 --> 00:12:03.860
 She is potentially saying

00:12:03.860 --> 00:12:04.740
 wonderful things

00:12:04.740 --> 00:12:05.220
 to this man,

00:12:05.299 --> 00:12:06.199
 things he's longed

00:12:06.199 --> 00:12:07.240
 for someone to say to him.

00:12:07.299 --> 00:12:08.480
 She's seducing him.

00:12:09.419 --> 00:12:11.299
 Her lips drip honey.

00:12:11.659 --> 00:12:12.279
 Verse 3,

00:12:12.480 --> 00:12:13.559
 her speech is smoother

00:12:13.559 --> 00:12:14.159
 than oil.

00:12:14.720 --> 00:12:15.379
 There's potentially

00:12:15.379 --> 00:12:16.500
 a sexual innuendo

00:12:16.500 --> 00:12:17.299
 going on here

00:12:17.299 --> 00:12:18.240
 that she's offering

00:12:18.240 --> 00:12:19.539
 things to this man

00:12:19.539 --> 00:12:20.519
 that feel

00:12:20.519 --> 00:12:21.399
 and experiences

00:12:21.399 --> 00:12:22.240
 that are incredibly

00:12:22.240 --> 00:12:23.379
 pleasurable.

00:12:25.080 --> 00:12:26.240
 And so that helps us

00:12:26.240 --> 00:12:27.039
 understand why

00:12:27.039 --> 00:12:27.659
 this temptation

00:12:27.659 --> 00:12:28.500
 is so strong,

00:12:28.620 --> 00:12:29.779
 why it's alluring to him.

00:12:30.139 --> 00:12:31.779
 Despite all he has to lose,

00:12:32.500 --> 00:12:33.680
 he is going to feel

00:12:33.680 --> 00:12:34.659
 drawn to it.

00:12:35.440 --> 00:12:35.840
 And of course,

00:12:35.879 --> 00:12:36.960
 we can say the same thing

00:12:36.960 --> 00:12:37.600
 for women, right?

00:12:37.639 --> 00:12:38.600
 There might be a man

00:12:38.600 --> 00:12:40.259
 who says wonderful things,

00:12:40.299 --> 00:12:41.480
 whose lips drip with honey,

00:12:41.580 --> 00:12:42.519
 who tells her the things

00:12:42.519 --> 00:12:43.639
 she's always wanted to hear.

00:12:43.960 --> 00:12:44.399
 And there's going to be

00:12:44.399 --> 00:12:45.940
 a very real temptation

00:12:45.940 --> 00:12:47.520
 to give in to that.

00:12:49.820 --> 00:12:50.720
 And so the first thing

00:12:50.720 --> 00:12:51.320
 we're told here

00:12:51.320 --> 00:12:51.840
 is simply that

00:12:51.840 --> 00:12:53.180
 sexual temptation is real.

00:12:53.260 --> 00:12:53.600
 It's something

00:12:53.600 --> 00:12:54.420
 that affects us.

00:12:56.680 --> 00:12:57.580
 The second thing

00:12:57.580 --> 00:12:58.360
 we're shown here

00:12:58.360 --> 00:13:00.000
 is that this temptation,

00:13:00.560 --> 00:13:01.480
 while it presents

00:13:01.480 --> 00:13:02.660
 as something wonderful,

00:13:03.120 --> 00:13:04.580
 actually leads to death.

00:13:06.560 --> 00:13:07.640
 It seems

00:13:07.640 --> 00:13:09.940
 that it's like honey, right?

00:13:10.020 --> 00:13:11.120
 Her lips seem like honey.

00:13:11.240 --> 00:13:11.960
 What do they end up

00:13:11.960 --> 00:13:12.580
 tasting like?

00:13:12.680 --> 00:13:13.240
 Verse 4,

00:13:13.780 --> 00:13:14.960
 actually really bitter.

00:13:14.960 --> 00:13:16.120
 Bitter is important.

00:13:16.180 --> 00:13:17.460
 There's a bait and switch

00:13:17.460 --> 00:13:18.139
 going on.

00:13:18.600 --> 00:13:19.720
 You're offered something

00:13:19.720 --> 00:13:20.820
 that seems wonderful.

00:13:21.620 --> 00:13:22.680
 It ends up

00:13:22.680 --> 00:13:23.840
 being something terrible.

00:13:24.560 --> 00:13:25.379
 We again find

00:13:25.379 --> 00:13:26.160
 our metaphor

00:13:26.160 --> 00:13:27.519
 of the path here, right?

00:13:27.600 --> 00:13:28.180
 Her path,

00:13:28.280 --> 00:13:28.759
 verse 6,

00:13:29.320 --> 00:13:30.480
 is not the path of life,

00:13:30.600 --> 00:13:31.360
 but verse 5,

00:13:31.440 --> 00:13:32.259
 the path to shale.

00:13:32.440 --> 00:13:34.340
 She leads to death.

00:13:35.759 --> 00:13:36.560
 Sexual sin

00:13:36.560 --> 00:13:38.040
 leads to death.

00:13:39.139 --> 00:13:39.700
 Adultery,

00:13:40.160 --> 00:13:40.840
 fornication,

00:13:41.200 --> 00:13:42.320
 lead to death.

00:13:42.320 --> 00:13:42.360
 death.

00:13:43.520 --> 00:13:44.180
 We're given

00:13:44.180 --> 00:13:45.420
 in verses 7-14

00:13:45.420 --> 00:13:46.080
 a picture

00:13:46.080 --> 00:13:47.360
 of the type of death

00:13:47.360 --> 00:13:48.260
 that they lead to,

00:13:48.400 --> 00:13:49.340
 and there's an emphasis

00:13:49.340 --> 00:13:50.860
 here on ruin.

00:13:51.060 --> 00:13:53.600
 There's a financial ruin.

00:13:54.320 --> 00:13:54.700
 Verse 9,

00:13:54.800 --> 00:13:55.940
 you're giving your years

00:13:55.940 --> 00:13:56.800
 to the merciless.

00:13:57.200 --> 00:13:57.600
 Strangers

00:13:57.600 --> 00:13:59.300
 are taking your labors

00:13:59.300 --> 00:14:00.060
 and your strength.

00:14:00.180 --> 00:14:00.680
 What you do

00:14:00.680 --> 00:14:01.220
 is going to go

00:14:01.220 --> 00:14:01.680
 to the house

00:14:01.680 --> 00:14:02.160
 of a foreigner,

00:14:02.280 --> 00:14:03.080
 so there's financial

00:14:03.080 --> 00:14:04.300
 implications to this.

00:14:05.420 --> 00:14:07.540
 There's physical complications.

00:14:07.800 --> 00:14:08.340
 Verse 11,

00:14:08.420 --> 00:14:09.160
 at the end of your life,

00:14:09.200 --> 00:14:10.080
 you're going to groan

00:14:10.080 --> 00:14:11.180
 because your flesh

00:14:11.180 --> 00:14:13.040
 and body are consumed.

00:14:14.020 --> 00:14:15.160
 There's going to be

00:14:15.160 --> 00:14:16.080
 a groaning,

00:14:16.300 --> 00:14:16.900
 an agony

00:14:16.900 --> 00:14:17.879
 that you experience

00:14:17.879 --> 00:14:18.520
 in this life

00:14:18.520 --> 00:14:19.220
 from this sin.

00:14:19.660 --> 00:14:19.860
 Now,

00:14:19.980 --> 00:14:20.860
 what's going on

00:14:20.860 --> 00:14:21.720
 in the book of Proverbs,

00:14:21.820 --> 00:14:22.680
 most likely in this

00:14:22.680 --> 00:14:23.460
 cultural setting,

00:14:23.620 --> 00:14:25.639
 there's a legal recourse

00:14:25.639 --> 00:14:26.320
 for the spouse

00:14:26.320 --> 00:14:27.639
 who is harmed by adultery.

00:14:27.800 --> 00:14:28.440
 So, for example,

00:14:29.100 --> 00:14:29.980
 let's say there's a wife,

00:14:30.060 --> 00:14:31.180
 her husband commits adultery,

00:14:31.259 --> 00:14:31.820
 her husband and his wife

00:14:31.820 --> 00:14:32.500
 commits adultery.

00:14:33.340 --> 00:14:34.800
 The person who is harmed,

00:14:34.879 --> 00:14:35.740
 the innocent spouse,

00:14:35.820 --> 00:14:36.180
 would be able

00:14:36.180 --> 00:14:37.240
 to come after them

00:14:37.240 --> 00:14:39.780
 for financial ramifications.

00:14:40.080 --> 00:14:40.480
 Now,

00:14:40.540 --> 00:14:41.120
 that actually used

00:14:41.120 --> 00:14:41.639
 to be true

00:14:41.639 --> 00:14:42.460
 in the United States.

00:14:42.460 --> 00:14:43.480
 It's not true anymore.

00:14:44.460 --> 00:14:45.180
 We don't have

00:14:45.180 --> 00:14:47.460
 that specific consequences,

00:14:47.879 --> 00:14:48.980
 but there are still

00:14:48.980 --> 00:14:50.780
 consequences

00:14:50.780 --> 00:14:52.800
 that come from sexual sin.

00:14:53.500 --> 00:14:53.920
 I'll give you

00:14:53.920 --> 00:14:54.840
 a few examples.

00:14:55.100 --> 00:14:56.639
 There was a article

00:14:56.639 --> 00:14:57.440
 that came out

00:14:57.440 --> 00:14:58.280
 a few years back

00:14:58.280 --> 00:14:59.440
 in a wall journal

00:14:59.440 --> 00:15:00.200
 of all places,

00:15:00.400 --> 00:15:01.680
 and the article's title

00:15:01.680 --> 00:15:02.300
 was a question.

00:15:02.400 --> 00:15:03.080
 The question was this,

00:15:03.160 --> 00:15:03.820
 does sex

00:15:03.820 --> 00:15:05.500
 still make babies?

00:15:05.500 --> 00:15:09.159
 The answer is,

00:15:09.200 --> 00:15:09.720
 wait for it,

00:15:10.720 --> 00:15:11.399
 yes.

00:15:13.039 --> 00:15:13.860
 This was, of course,

00:15:13.940 --> 00:15:14.720
 examining in the light

00:15:14.720 --> 00:15:15.460
 of birth control,

00:15:15.559 --> 00:15:15.799
 saying,

00:15:16.279 --> 00:15:16.879
 with the reality

00:15:16.879 --> 00:15:17.620
 of birth control,

00:15:17.799 --> 00:15:18.919
 do we really think

00:15:18.919 --> 00:15:19.980
 of sex as something

00:15:19.980 --> 00:15:20.500
 that's connected

00:15:20.500 --> 00:15:20.960
 to children?

00:15:21.059 --> 00:15:21.820
 And it talked about

00:15:21.820 --> 00:15:22.700
 the failure rate

00:15:22.700 --> 00:15:23.440
 of birth control.

00:15:24.200 --> 00:15:26.100
 No matter how well

00:15:26.100 --> 00:15:28.039
 you are using birth control,

00:15:28.460 --> 00:15:29.620
 no matter what you have

00:15:29.620 --> 00:15:30.419
 available to you,

00:15:31.259 --> 00:15:32.340
 you still have the chance

00:15:32.340 --> 00:15:32.960
 of having a child.

00:15:32.960 --> 00:15:35.680
 Ask many married couples

00:15:35.680 --> 00:15:36.580
 about this, by the way.

00:15:38.019 --> 00:15:38.540
 And, of course,

00:15:38.620 --> 00:15:39.320
 that's going to have

00:15:39.320 --> 00:15:41.000
 financial legal ramifications,

00:15:41.180 --> 00:15:41.340
 right?

00:15:41.379 --> 00:15:42.460
 You may end up

00:15:42.460 --> 00:15:43.940
 giving your honor,

00:15:44.080 --> 00:15:44.900
 your wealth to others

00:15:44.900 --> 00:15:45.620
 because you're suddenly

00:15:45.620 --> 00:15:46.900
 supporting not one family,

00:15:46.980 --> 00:15:47.379
 but two.

00:15:48.900 --> 00:15:50.200
 Or maybe you're in a situation

00:15:50.200 --> 00:15:50.820
 where you're trying

00:15:50.820 --> 00:15:51.540
 to support a family,

00:15:51.639 --> 00:15:52.280
 but you don't have

00:15:52.280 --> 00:15:53.160
 the support you need,

00:15:53.280 --> 00:15:53.440
 right?

00:15:53.460 --> 00:15:55.200
 There's a financial element there.

00:15:55.280 --> 00:15:56.379
 It may lead not to that.

00:15:56.639 --> 00:15:58.040
 It may lead to a divorce.

00:15:58.500 --> 00:15:59.379
 It's common knowledge

00:15:59.379 --> 00:16:00.360
 that divorce is one

00:16:00.360 --> 00:16:01.379
 of the great destroyers

00:16:01.379 --> 00:16:01.820
 of wealth.

00:16:02.960 --> 00:16:03.820
 And, of course,

00:16:03.860 --> 00:16:04.540
 we're not just talking

00:16:04.540 --> 00:16:05.980
 about this in pragmatic terms.

00:16:06.060 --> 00:16:07.060
 This person's groaning

00:16:07.060 --> 00:16:08.060
 at the end of his life.

00:16:08.379 --> 00:16:09.780
 There's the risk of disease,

00:16:09.920 --> 00:16:10.120
 right?

00:16:10.480 --> 00:16:11.660
 But there's also

00:16:11.660 --> 00:16:12.620
 the fact that maybe

00:16:12.620 --> 00:16:13.200
 he's groaning

00:16:13.200 --> 00:16:14.019
 out of the loneliness

00:16:14.019 --> 00:16:14.680
 that he has.

00:16:14.759 --> 00:16:15.820
 He's abandoned

00:16:15.820 --> 00:16:17.379
 the spouse that he committed to

00:16:17.379 --> 00:16:18.100
 or she's abandoned

00:16:18.100 --> 00:16:19.320
 the spouse she committed to.

00:16:20.460 --> 00:16:20.960
 And suddenly,

00:16:21.060 --> 00:16:21.840
 at the end of their life,

00:16:21.900 --> 00:16:22.840
 they don't have

00:16:22.840 --> 00:16:23.580
 what you would have

00:16:23.580 --> 00:16:24.720
 from investing in a marriage

00:16:24.720 --> 00:16:25.460
 over a lifetime.

00:16:26.600 --> 00:16:28.180
 Maybe this is a single person

00:16:28.180 --> 00:16:30.280
 who's chosen promiscuity

00:16:30.280 --> 00:16:31.100
 over marriage.

00:16:31.100 --> 00:16:32.800
 They, at the end of their life,

00:16:32.860 --> 00:16:33.659
 they don't have something

00:16:33.659 --> 00:16:34.759
 to look back on and hold.

00:16:34.820 --> 00:16:35.860
 So there's this ruin

00:16:35.860 --> 00:16:37.960
 that the author of Proverbs,

00:16:38.080 --> 00:16:38.580
 that Solomon,

00:16:38.740 --> 00:16:39.740
 holds out to us.

00:16:40.860 --> 00:16:41.759
 There's real

00:16:41.759 --> 00:16:43.019
 and true destruction.

00:16:43.200 --> 00:16:44.340
 There's emotional destruction

00:16:44.340 --> 00:16:45.180
 we could talk about.

00:16:47.080 --> 00:16:48.600
 And so he's warning them.

00:16:48.680 --> 00:16:49.300
 I told you before,

00:16:49.420 --> 00:16:50.200
 our greatest warning

00:16:50.200 --> 00:16:51.139
 are not the consequences

00:16:51.139 --> 00:16:51.740
 of sin,

00:16:51.800 --> 00:16:52.379
 but our loves.

00:16:52.460 --> 00:16:53.279
 But the consequences

00:16:53.279 --> 00:16:54.920
 of sin still matter.

00:16:54.960 --> 00:16:55.759
 And he's telling him,

00:16:55.759 --> 00:16:57.179
 look, this leads to death

00:16:57.179 --> 00:16:58.779
 in real and practical ways

00:16:58.779 --> 00:17:00.080
 in this world.

00:17:00.279 --> 00:17:01.220
 Don't believe the lie.

00:17:02.299 --> 00:17:03.240
 Don't believe the lie

00:17:03.240 --> 00:17:04.359
 that you can indulge in this

00:17:04.359 --> 00:17:04.940
 for a minute

00:17:04.940 --> 00:17:06.779
 and it will not affect you.

00:17:09.420 --> 00:17:11.240
 Now, with the physical

00:17:11.240 --> 00:17:12.240
 and legal

00:17:12.240 --> 00:17:13.599
 and relational implications,

00:17:13.720 --> 00:17:14.000
 of course,

00:17:14.039 --> 00:17:15.099
 there's one consequence

00:17:15.099 --> 00:17:16.819
 that's even greater

00:17:16.819 --> 00:17:17.660
 than all of those.

00:17:17.740 --> 00:17:19.019
 It comes at the very end here.

00:17:19.019 --> 00:17:19.740
 Verse 21,

00:17:19.740 --> 00:17:27.819
 Verse 23,

00:17:28.059 --> 00:17:33.960
 In other words,

00:17:34.460 --> 00:17:35.839
 even if none of these

00:17:35.839 --> 00:17:37.460
 consequences happen to you,

00:17:38.480 --> 00:17:39.779
 God still sees.

00:17:42.640 --> 00:17:44.299
 And if you persist

00:17:44.299 --> 00:17:47.359
 in unrepentant sexual sin,

00:17:47.359 --> 00:17:49.719
 you have reason

00:17:49.719 --> 00:17:50.359
 to question

00:17:50.359 --> 00:17:51.079
 whether you are

00:17:51.079 --> 00:17:51.919
 actually a Christian.

00:17:53.439 --> 00:17:54.699
 If you persist

00:17:54.699 --> 00:17:57.339
 in unrepentant sexual sin,

00:17:57.679 --> 00:17:58.759
 you should question

00:17:58.759 --> 00:17:59.519
 whether you're actually

00:17:59.519 --> 00:17:59.899
 a Christian

00:17:59.899 --> 00:18:00.859
 if God has given you

00:18:00.859 --> 00:18:01.379
 a new heart.

00:18:01.979 --> 00:18:02.859
 I'm not talking about

00:18:02.859 --> 00:18:03.619
 those who struggle

00:18:03.619 --> 00:18:04.459
 with sin, right?

00:18:04.500 --> 00:18:05.259
 All of us struggle

00:18:05.259 --> 00:18:05.759
 with sin.

00:18:06.379 --> 00:18:07.079
 All of us have

00:18:07.079 --> 00:18:07.939
 sexual brokenness.

00:18:08.000 --> 00:18:08.679
 I'm not talking about

00:18:08.679 --> 00:18:09.419
 those who are fighting

00:18:09.419 --> 00:18:10.179
 a good fight

00:18:10.179 --> 00:18:10.919
 against temptation.

00:18:11.439 --> 00:18:12.259
 I'm talking about

00:18:12.259 --> 00:18:12.839
 those who are not

00:18:12.839 --> 00:18:13.839
 fighting any fight.

00:18:16.119 --> 00:18:17.139
 They should question

00:18:17.140 --> 00:18:18.040
 if there's no struggle

00:18:18.040 --> 00:18:19.340
 against sin in your life,

00:18:20.220 --> 00:18:21.060
 you should question

00:18:21.060 --> 00:18:22.400
 whether you belong to God.

00:18:24.660 --> 00:18:25.220
 And so that's

00:18:25.220 --> 00:18:26.460
 an even greater consequence

00:18:26.460 --> 00:18:27.540
 than all of these.

00:18:27.880 --> 00:18:29.120
 No matter how well

00:18:29.120 --> 00:18:30.560
 things go in your life,

00:18:31.160 --> 00:18:32.980
 at the end of time,

00:18:33.080 --> 00:18:34.100
 you will answer to God

00:18:34.100 --> 00:18:34.820
 for how you lived

00:18:34.820 --> 00:18:35.360
 in this world,

00:18:35.480 --> 00:18:37.120
 including what you did

00:18:37.120 --> 00:18:37.640
 with your body.

00:18:39.540 --> 00:18:40.880
 And so the Father here

00:18:40.880 --> 00:18:41.900
 is warning His Son

00:18:41.900 --> 00:18:42.900
 of the very serious

00:18:42.900 --> 00:18:44.200
 temporal consequences

00:18:44.200 --> 00:18:44.400
 consequences,

00:18:44.720 --> 00:18:46.059
 and the very serious

00:18:46.059 --> 00:18:47.240
 eternal consequences.

00:18:47.980 --> 00:18:49.120
 That sexual sin

00:18:49.120 --> 00:18:50.700
 will bring Him

00:18:50.700 --> 00:18:51.720
 death.

00:18:56.120 --> 00:18:56.559
 Thankfully,

00:18:56.720 --> 00:18:57.360
 there's not just

00:18:57.360 --> 00:18:58.600
 a warning here

00:18:58.600 --> 00:19:00.340
 in Proverbs chapter 5,

00:19:00.380 --> 00:19:01.220
 but there's also

00:19:01.220 --> 00:19:02.960
 a word of hope.

00:19:03.059 --> 00:19:03.840
 There's a solution

00:19:03.840 --> 00:19:05.279
 that's given,

00:19:05.840 --> 00:19:06.680
 a particular solution

00:19:06.680 --> 00:19:07.360
 for this passage.

00:19:07.480 --> 00:19:07.920
 There's actually

00:19:07.920 --> 00:19:09.400
 a couple of them.

00:19:09.519 --> 00:19:10.259
 Verse 8 says,

00:19:10.400 --> 00:19:11.600
 keep far away from her.

00:19:11.740 --> 00:19:12.600
 Do not go near the door

00:19:12.600 --> 00:19:13.140
 of her house.

00:19:13.140 --> 00:19:14.440
 I'm not going to focus

00:19:14.440 --> 00:19:15.180
 as much on that

00:19:15.180 --> 00:19:15.660
 this morning

00:19:15.660 --> 00:19:16.240
 because we're going

00:19:16.240 --> 00:19:16.800
 to have a chance

00:19:16.800 --> 00:19:18.100
 to talk in chapters 6

00:19:18.100 --> 00:19:19.500
 and 7 about what it

00:19:19.500 --> 00:19:20.360
 looks like to keep

00:19:20.360 --> 00:19:20.940
 far away,

00:19:21.020 --> 00:19:22.380
 about running from temptation.

00:19:23.240 --> 00:19:23.900
 And so instead,

00:19:24.080 --> 00:19:24.620
 I'm going to focus

00:19:24.620 --> 00:19:25.560
 on the other element

00:19:25.560 --> 00:19:26.740
 that's given to us here

00:19:26.740 --> 00:19:29.800
 in verses 15 through 20.

00:19:31.080 --> 00:19:33.220
 Back in a long time ago,

00:19:33.280 --> 00:19:34.060
 in 2017,

00:19:34.060 --> 00:19:35.840
 I told you the story

00:19:35.840 --> 00:19:37.500
 of the actor,

00:19:37.920 --> 00:19:38.440
 Paul Newman,

00:19:38.620 --> 00:19:39.360
 who was married

00:19:39.360 --> 00:19:40.160
 to Joanne Woodward

00:19:40.160 --> 00:19:41.020
 for 50 years.

00:19:41.060 --> 00:19:41.860
 And it was rare

00:19:41.859 --> 00:19:42.639
 for someone to have

00:19:42.639 --> 00:19:44.359
 that long of a marriage

00:19:44.359 --> 00:19:45.039
 in that industry,

00:19:45.099 --> 00:19:45.719
 in the film industry.

00:19:46.799 --> 00:19:47.559
 And so he was asked

00:19:47.559 --> 00:19:48.159
 at one point,

00:19:48.759 --> 00:19:49.819
 how have you remained

00:19:49.819 --> 00:19:51.259
 faithful for this long

00:19:51.259 --> 00:19:53.299
 in this kind of setting,

00:19:53.399 --> 00:19:54.000
 in this culture,

00:19:54.119 --> 00:19:54.619
 in the way,

00:19:55.099 --> 00:19:56.039
 places where you run,

00:19:56.119 --> 00:19:57.019
 how have you done it

00:19:57.019 --> 00:19:57.599
 to stay married

00:19:57.599 --> 00:19:58.299
 for 50 years?

00:19:59.639 --> 00:20:01.439
 And Paul responded

00:20:01.439 --> 00:20:02.139
 with this quip.

00:20:03.519 --> 00:20:05.019
 I have steak at home.

00:20:05.019 --> 00:20:07.519
 Why should I go out

00:20:07.519 --> 00:20:08.099
 for hamburger?

00:20:10.700 --> 00:20:11.960
 Now, you might find

00:20:11.960 --> 00:20:12.759
 that illustration

00:20:12.759 --> 00:20:15.099
 crass,

00:20:15.599 --> 00:20:16.879
 but it's similar

00:20:16.879 --> 00:20:17.960
 to the image

00:20:17.960 --> 00:20:18.599
 that's used

00:20:18.599 --> 00:20:19.980
 in this next passage.

00:20:20.519 --> 00:20:21.019
 We see,

00:20:21.259 --> 00:20:22.039
 not steak and hamburger,

00:20:22.200 --> 00:20:22.759
 but water.

00:20:23.559 --> 00:20:24.920
 Verses 15 and 16,

00:20:25.059 --> 00:20:25.639
 drink water

00:20:25.639 --> 00:20:26.759
 from your own cistern,

00:20:26.839 --> 00:20:27.379
 flowing water

00:20:27.379 --> 00:20:28.319
 from your own well.

00:20:28.680 --> 00:20:29.440
 Should your springs

00:20:29.440 --> 00:20:30.359
 be scattered abroad,

00:20:30.539 --> 00:20:31.379
 streams of water

00:20:31.379 --> 00:20:32.039
 in the streets?

00:20:32.039 --> 00:20:33.159
 In other words,

00:20:33.240 --> 00:20:34.539
 you have high quality

00:20:34.539 --> 00:20:35.759
 water at home.

00:20:37.119 --> 00:20:38.399
 Why would you go out

00:20:38.399 --> 00:20:39.039
 to the city

00:20:39.039 --> 00:20:40.980
 and scoop up water

00:20:40.980 --> 00:20:41.779
 from a puddle

00:20:41.779 --> 00:20:42.539
 and drink that?

00:20:42.659 --> 00:20:43.319
 Why would you drink

00:20:43.319 --> 00:20:44.420
 dirty water like that?

00:20:45.420 --> 00:20:47.099
 That doesn't make any sense.

00:20:47.200 --> 00:20:48.399
 You have your own well

00:20:48.399 --> 00:20:48.920
 at home.

00:20:50.799 --> 00:20:52.159
 Same thing he's saying

00:20:52.159 --> 00:20:53.299
 about sexual sin.

00:20:53.920 --> 00:20:55.139
 This is speaking specifically

00:20:55.139 --> 00:20:55.940
 to married people.

00:20:56.220 --> 00:20:57.839
 Why would you go out there?

00:20:59.379 --> 00:21:01.019
 You have a relationship

00:21:01.019 --> 00:21:01.519
 at home.

00:21:01.519 --> 00:21:02.539
 You have your marriage.

00:21:03.279 --> 00:21:04.259
 Embrace that.

00:21:06.119 --> 00:21:07.059
 In other words,

00:21:07.119 --> 00:21:08.220
 the application is this.

00:21:08.220 --> 00:21:10.359
 Make your sexual relationship

00:21:10.359 --> 00:21:11.400
 with your spouse

00:21:11.400 --> 00:21:12.680
 a priority.

00:21:14.400 --> 00:21:15.359
 Make it something

00:21:15.359 --> 00:21:16.359
 that you pursue.

00:21:17.319 --> 00:21:18.139
 Make it something

00:21:18.139 --> 00:21:19.759
 that you create time for.

00:21:20.240 --> 00:21:20.779
 Make it something

00:21:20.779 --> 00:21:21.879
 that you work at.

00:21:21.940 --> 00:21:22.960
 Now, there's many reasons

00:21:22.960 --> 00:21:23.359
 for this,

00:21:23.440 --> 00:21:24.660
 but the reason given here

00:21:24.660 --> 00:21:25.819
 is specifically

00:21:25.819 --> 00:21:27.180
 about sexual temptation.

00:21:27.720 --> 00:21:28.400
 Paul tells us

00:21:28.400 --> 00:21:29.059
 the same thing

00:21:29.059 --> 00:21:30.359
 in 1 Corinthians 7

00:21:30.359 --> 00:21:31.359
 in the New Testament.

00:21:31.519 --> 00:21:34.200
 work on your sexual relationship

00:21:34.200 --> 00:21:35.579
 so that you won't be tempted,

00:21:35.579 --> 00:21:37.200
 so that you can avoid

00:21:37.200 --> 00:21:38.460
 sexual sin.

00:21:39.420 --> 00:21:40.420
 Make it a priority,

00:21:40.539 --> 00:21:41.539
 whatever it looks like,

00:21:41.700 --> 00:21:43.240
 for that stage of life,

00:21:43.579 --> 00:21:44.680
 for your stage of life.

00:21:46.259 --> 00:21:46.900
 Women,

00:21:47.359 --> 00:21:48.539
 seduce your husband.

00:21:48.539 --> 00:21:49.879
 men,

00:21:49.879 --> 00:21:49.899
 men,

00:21:50.039 --> 00:21:51.759
 pursue your wife.

00:21:52.759 --> 00:21:55.440
 That is one of the primary ways,

00:21:55.539 --> 00:21:56.220
 the avenues

00:21:56.220 --> 00:21:57.420
 that God has given

00:21:57.420 --> 00:21:59.099
 for people to escape

00:21:59.099 --> 00:22:00.319
 sexual sin

00:22:00.319 --> 00:22:01.940
 and sexual temptation.

00:22:01.940 --> 00:22:02.039
 salvation.

00:22:04.840 --> 00:22:06.440
 We're then told something else here.

00:22:06.660 --> 00:22:07.519
 Now, I'm not going to go

00:22:07.519 --> 00:22:08.180
 into detail,

00:22:08.500 --> 00:22:10.220
 but there are people

00:22:10.220 --> 00:22:11.700
 who believe what's going on here

00:22:11.700 --> 00:22:13.000
 in verses 15

00:22:13.000 --> 00:22:14.200
 through 18

00:22:14.200 --> 00:22:16.160
 is a very explicit,

00:22:16.519 --> 00:22:17.059
 graphic,

00:22:17.620 --> 00:22:18.600
 sexual innuendo.

00:22:19.960 --> 00:22:21.080
 But what's here

00:22:21.080 --> 00:22:22.779
 in verse 19

00:22:22.779 --> 00:22:23.860
 is a prayer.

00:22:24.320 --> 00:22:25.100
 And it's a prayer

00:22:25.100 --> 00:22:26.240
 from the Father

00:22:26.240 --> 00:22:27.920
 about his son's marriage.

00:22:28.019 --> 00:22:29.240
 Now, this is a very bold prayer.

00:22:29.980 --> 00:22:30.800
 I am going,

00:22:31.019 --> 00:22:32.300
 I'm guessing you've probably

00:22:32.300 --> 00:22:33.720
 never heard a prayer like this,

00:22:33.800 --> 00:22:34.320
 prayed at a wedding.

00:22:35.660 --> 00:22:36.500
 I'm going to be

00:22:36.500 --> 00:22:37.380
 in a wedding

00:22:37.380 --> 00:22:38.259
 in October,

00:22:38.259 --> 00:22:39.500
 and I don't think

00:22:39.500 --> 00:22:40.400
 I'm going to be bold enough

00:22:40.400 --> 00:22:41.180
 to pray this prayer,

00:22:41.279 --> 00:22:41.840
 although who knows,

00:22:41.880 --> 00:22:42.560
 I've got a few months

00:22:42.560 --> 00:22:43.000
 to kind of

00:22:43.000 --> 00:22:44.400
 work myself up.

00:22:45.519 --> 00:22:46.200
 But the prayer

00:22:46.200 --> 00:22:46.940
 in verse 19

00:22:46.940 --> 00:22:47.620
 is this.

00:22:48.400 --> 00:22:49.039
 I am praying

00:22:49.039 --> 00:22:50.160
 that you'd be filled

00:22:50.160 --> 00:22:51.320
 at all times

00:22:51.320 --> 00:22:52.340
 with delight,

00:22:52.539 --> 00:22:53.380
 be intoxicated

00:22:53.380 --> 00:22:54.519
 always in her love.

00:22:54.580 --> 00:22:55.320
 In other words,

00:22:55.880 --> 00:22:56.700
 I am praying

00:22:56.700 --> 00:22:57.259
 for you

00:22:57.259 --> 00:22:57.920
 in your marriage

00:22:57.920 --> 00:22:58.980
 that you would have

00:22:58.980 --> 00:23:00.339
 a lot of sex.

00:23:01.940 --> 00:23:03.140
 And I am praying

00:23:03.140 --> 00:23:04.059
 that that sex

00:23:04.059 --> 00:23:04.980
 would be really,

00:23:05.160 --> 00:23:05.740
 really good

00:23:05.740 --> 00:23:07.019
 and that you would enjoy it.

00:23:07.420 --> 00:23:09.259
 That is this father's prayer

00:23:09.259 --> 00:23:10.359
 for his son.

00:23:14.279 --> 00:23:15.579
 And so that's the urging

00:23:15.579 --> 00:23:16.259
 of Solomon

00:23:16.259 --> 00:23:17.900
 for those who are married,

00:23:18.039 --> 00:23:19.519
 that they would pursue

00:23:19.519 --> 00:23:20.640
 that same thing

00:23:20.640 --> 00:23:21.519
 in their marriages.

00:23:23.420 --> 00:23:24.079
 And of course,

00:23:24.140 --> 00:23:24.859
 there's a lot of

00:23:24.859 --> 00:23:26.319
 caveats, right?

00:23:27.259 --> 00:23:28.359
 This is going to look

00:23:28.359 --> 00:23:29.779
 different at different

00:23:29.779 --> 00:23:31.259
 ages and stages.

00:23:32.019 --> 00:23:33.319
 Writing to a youth here,

00:23:33.420 --> 00:23:34.619
 he has a youth

00:23:34.619 --> 00:23:35.940
 kind of sex drive.

00:23:37.319 --> 00:23:38.879
 There are very real

00:23:38.879 --> 00:23:40.400
 health issues

00:23:40.400 --> 00:23:41.319
 and complications

00:23:41.319 --> 00:23:42.319
 that are going to make

00:23:42.319 --> 00:23:42.799
 this hard.

00:23:42.900 --> 00:23:43.700
 There are times

00:23:43.700 --> 00:23:44.500
 and seasons

00:23:44.500 --> 00:23:45.980
 in a marriage

00:23:45.980 --> 00:23:46.740
 where it would actually

00:23:46.740 --> 00:23:47.740
 be unwise

00:23:47.740 --> 00:23:49.079
 to pursue sex.

00:23:49.079 --> 00:23:51.399
 And so we're talking

00:23:51.399 --> 00:23:52.659
 about the ideal here.

00:23:52.759 --> 00:23:53.960
 This is an ideal image

00:23:53.960 --> 00:23:54.500
 that's given.

00:23:54.919 --> 00:23:55.899
 It doesn't rule out

00:23:55.899 --> 00:23:56.599
 exceptions.

00:23:57.539 --> 00:23:58.559
 It doesn't rule out

00:23:58.559 --> 00:23:59.299
 the complications

00:23:59.299 --> 00:23:59.859
 of life

00:23:59.859 --> 00:24:01.359
 in the real world.

00:24:01.839 --> 00:24:02.399
 And yet,

00:24:02.460 --> 00:24:03.639
 it's still an ideal

00:24:03.639 --> 00:24:05.319
 that God holds out

00:24:05.319 --> 00:24:06.139
 for his people

00:24:06.139 --> 00:24:07.220
 to pursue

00:24:07.220 --> 00:24:08.220
 in marriage.

00:24:08.299 --> 00:24:08.699
 And so I'll say

00:24:08.699 --> 00:24:09.279
 a couple things

00:24:09.279 --> 00:24:09.779
 in general

00:24:09.779 --> 00:24:10.500
 and then a couple things

00:24:10.500 --> 00:24:12.240
 about specific situations.

00:24:12.240 --> 00:24:12.879
 First of all,

00:24:12.939 --> 00:24:13.500
 this is something

00:24:13.500 --> 00:24:15.059
 for them to work on

00:24:15.059 --> 00:24:16.119
 together.

00:24:16.119 --> 00:24:17.579
 Both of them,

00:24:17.679 --> 00:24:18.599
 if we follow the logic

00:24:18.599 --> 00:24:19.759
 of some of this innuendo,

00:24:20.179 --> 00:24:21.379
 are very excited

00:24:21.379 --> 00:24:22.199
 about what's happening.

00:24:23.219 --> 00:24:23.919
 The husband

00:24:23.919 --> 00:24:24.799
 and the wife

00:24:24.799 --> 00:24:26.219
 are very excited

00:24:26.219 --> 00:24:27.039
 about their sexual

00:24:27.039 --> 00:24:27.519
 relationship

00:24:27.519 --> 00:24:28.219
 with one another.

00:24:28.579 --> 00:24:29.599
 Which means

00:24:29.599 --> 00:24:30.859
 that the application

00:24:30.859 --> 00:24:31.759
 of this

00:24:31.759 --> 00:24:32.559
 is not

00:24:32.559 --> 00:24:33.559
 to use this passage

00:24:33.559 --> 00:24:34.119
 as some sort

00:24:34.119 --> 00:24:35.079
 of guilt manipulation.

00:24:36.259 --> 00:24:37.139
 Do not go home

00:24:37.139 --> 00:24:37.519
 and say,

00:24:37.619 --> 00:24:38.599
 the pastor said

00:24:38.599 --> 00:24:39.559
 we need to have sex.

00:24:40.959 --> 00:24:41.479
 No,

00:24:41.559 --> 00:24:42.519
 the application is

00:24:42.519 --> 00:24:43.519
 go home,

00:24:43.659 --> 00:24:44.599
 take responsibility,

00:24:45.019 --> 00:24:46.099
 work on it together.

00:24:47.059 --> 00:24:48.179
 What is it going

00:24:48.179 --> 00:24:49.299
 to take from me

00:24:49.299 --> 00:24:50.319
 to make this

00:24:50.319 --> 00:24:51.319
 really good for you?

00:24:52.839 --> 00:24:54.019
 What do we need

00:24:54.019 --> 00:24:54.459
 to do

00:24:54.459 --> 00:24:55.139
 so that we

00:24:55.139 --> 00:24:55.619
 as a couple

00:24:55.619 --> 00:24:56.439
 can move forward?

00:24:56.939 --> 00:24:57.779
 What's the next step

00:24:57.779 --> 00:24:58.779
 we have to make

00:24:58.779 --> 00:24:59.939
 in working towards

00:24:59.939 --> 00:25:00.759
 God's ideal?

00:25:00.979 --> 00:25:01.879
 What is it that we need

00:25:01.879 --> 00:25:02.739
 to do to protect

00:25:02.739 --> 00:25:03.279
 each other

00:25:03.279 --> 00:25:04.739
 from sexual temptation?

00:25:06.119 --> 00:25:07.459
 We may not be

00:25:07.459 --> 00:25:08.939
 at verse 19 tomorrow.

00:25:10.659 --> 00:25:11.339
 That's true

00:25:11.339 --> 00:25:12.459
 of all of God's ideals.

00:25:13.699 --> 00:25:14.419
 But we can take

00:25:14.419 --> 00:25:15.259
 our next step

00:25:15.259 --> 00:25:16.799
 towards verse 19.

00:25:18.339 --> 00:25:18.960
 And this may,

00:25:19.379 --> 00:25:19.500
 right,

00:25:19.539 --> 00:25:20.160
 this is going to take

00:25:20.160 --> 00:25:21.700
 probably more time

00:25:21.700 --> 00:25:22.720
 and more space

00:25:22.720 --> 00:25:23.640
 the older you get.

00:25:24.400 --> 00:25:24.960
 So again,

00:25:25.319 --> 00:25:25.599
 different,

00:25:25.980 --> 00:25:26.440
 it's going to look

00:25:26.440 --> 00:25:26.879
 differently

00:25:26.879 --> 00:25:27.900
 for different people,

00:25:28.279 --> 00:25:29.000
 different stages

00:25:29.000 --> 00:25:30.039
 and ages of life.

00:25:31.539 --> 00:25:32.599
 And it may take

00:25:32.599 --> 00:25:33.079
 some very,

00:25:33.160 --> 00:25:34.460
 very painful conversations.

00:25:35.879 --> 00:25:36.799
 If you're talking

00:25:36.799 --> 00:25:37.599
 about what is this

00:25:37.599 --> 00:25:38.279
 going to look like

00:25:38.279 --> 00:25:39.379
 for us to move

00:25:39.379 --> 00:25:40.200
 towards this ideal,

00:25:40.200 --> 00:25:41.759
 it may involve

00:25:41.759 --> 00:25:42.500
 some conversations

00:25:42.500 --> 00:25:43.000
 about things

00:25:43.000 --> 00:25:43.640
 you've never talked

00:25:43.640 --> 00:25:43.900
 about,

00:25:44.059 --> 00:25:45.079
 very painful things

00:25:45.079 --> 00:25:45.519
 that have happened

00:25:45.519 --> 00:25:46.140
 in the past,

00:25:46.759 --> 00:25:47.660
 painful things you've

00:25:47.660 --> 00:25:48.519
 done against each other,

00:25:48.660 --> 00:25:49.339
 painful words

00:25:49.339 --> 00:25:50.039
 that have been spoken.

00:25:52.039 --> 00:25:53.220
 And that conversation

00:25:53.220 --> 00:25:54.019
 is worth having.

00:25:55.259 --> 00:25:56.140
 There may have to be

00:25:56.140 --> 00:25:56.859
 things outside

00:25:56.859 --> 00:25:57.400
 of the bedroom

00:25:57.400 --> 00:25:58.119
 that get fixed

00:25:58.119 --> 00:25:59.140
 before things

00:25:59.140 --> 00:25:59.960
 inside the bedroom

00:25:59.960 --> 00:26:00.539
 get fixed.

00:26:00.900 --> 00:26:01.779
 It's part of the logic

00:26:01.779 --> 00:26:02.420
 of marriage.

00:26:03.140 --> 00:26:03.940
 It's part of how God

00:26:03.940 --> 00:26:04.960
 uses the sexual

00:26:04.960 --> 00:26:05.720
 relationship between

00:26:05.720 --> 00:26:06.720
 a husband and a wife

00:26:06.720 --> 00:26:08.119
 to encourage them

00:26:08.119 --> 00:26:08.960
 to work on their

00:26:08.960 --> 00:26:10.539
 relationship together.

00:26:13.799 --> 00:26:14.660
 For some of you,

00:26:14.759 --> 00:26:15.799
 I realize this is probably

00:26:15.799 --> 00:26:17.539
 an especially painful topic

00:26:17.539 --> 00:26:18.440
 and it's an especially

00:26:18.440 --> 00:26:19.240
 painful topic

00:26:19.240 --> 00:26:20.900
 because we may be

00:26:20.900 --> 00:26:21.740
 so far away

00:26:21.740 --> 00:26:22.660
 from verse 19

00:26:22.660 --> 00:26:24.220
 that sex in marriage

00:26:24.220 --> 00:26:25.120
 is a distant memory,

00:26:25.220 --> 00:26:25.340
 right?

00:26:25.340 --> 00:26:26.079
 Maybe it's something

00:26:26.079 --> 00:26:27.559
 from months ago

00:26:27.559 --> 00:26:28.759
 or years ago

00:26:28.759 --> 00:26:30.039
 or decades ago.

00:26:30.840 --> 00:26:32.120
 And the word

00:26:32.120 --> 00:26:33.000
 of discouragement

00:26:33.000 --> 00:26:33.759
 and defeat

00:26:33.759 --> 00:26:34.759
 when we think

00:26:34.759 --> 00:26:35.720
 about God's ideal,

00:26:35.840 --> 00:26:36.539
 that is a word

00:26:36.539 --> 00:26:37.140
 from the enemy,

00:26:37.259 --> 00:26:37.400
 right?

00:26:37.400 --> 00:26:38.360
 But Satan

00:26:38.360 --> 00:26:39.120
 is the father

00:26:39.120 --> 00:26:39.660
 of lies.

00:26:40.140 --> 00:26:40.880
 He's the one

00:26:40.880 --> 00:26:41.780
 who comes to lie

00:26:41.780 --> 00:26:42.180
 to us

00:26:42.180 --> 00:26:42.940
 and pile shame

00:26:42.940 --> 00:26:43.320
 on us.

00:26:44.600 --> 00:26:45.540
 It's God

00:26:45.540 --> 00:26:46.360
 who comes

00:26:46.360 --> 00:26:47.220
 to speak truth

00:26:47.220 --> 00:26:47.880
 and hope

00:26:47.880 --> 00:26:48.380
 to us.

00:26:51.200 --> 00:26:52.280
 And so first of all,

00:26:52.340 --> 00:26:52.880
 we have to realize

00:26:52.880 --> 00:26:53.620
 there's hope.

00:26:54.040 --> 00:26:54.820
 There's real hope.

00:26:56.940 --> 00:26:57.840
 And so there's

00:26:57.840 --> 00:26:58.820
 a future,

00:26:58.920 --> 00:26:59.080
 right,

00:26:59.100 --> 00:26:59.820
 if we're in Christ.

00:27:02.620 --> 00:27:04.019
 You may feel lost,

00:27:04.720 --> 00:27:06.980
 but you're never alone.

00:27:07.400 --> 00:27:09.820
 I'll remind you

00:27:09.820 --> 00:27:10.320
 of the illustration

00:27:10.320 --> 00:27:10.940
 I gave you

00:27:10.940 --> 00:27:11.460
 when we talked

00:27:11.460 --> 00:27:12.440
 about sexual addiction,

00:27:12.600 --> 00:27:13.840
 specifically in 1 Peter,

00:27:14.220 --> 00:27:14.680
 the illustration

00:27:14.680 --> 00:27:15.340
 of the forest.

00:27:15.440 --> 00:27:16.580
 If you walk 10 miles

00:27:16.580 --> 00:27:17.460
 into a forest,

00:27:17.920 --> 00:27:18.880
 how long is it going

00:27:18.880 --> 00:27:19.740
 to take to walk out?

00:27:21.580 --> 00:27:22.400
 It's going to take

00:27:22.400 --> 00:27:23.620
 10 miles to walk out.

00:27:24.080 --> 00:27:24.960
 So if you've walked

00:27:24.960 --> 00:27:25.940
 your way far,

00:27:26.080 --> 00:27:26.560
 far away

00:27:26.560 --> 00:27:27.540
 from verse 19,

00:27:28.240 --> 00:27:29.480
 it can take a long time

00:27:29.480 --> 00:27:30.220
 to walk back

00:27:30.220 --> 00:27:31.040
 to verse 19.

00:27:32.320 --> 00:27:33.519
 Wherever you are,

00:27:34.240 --> 00:27:35.500
 wherever you are

00:27:35.500 --> 00:27:36.039
 in your journey,

00:27:37.000 --> 00:27:38.299
 take the next step.

00:27:40.099 --> 00:27:41.160
 The next step

00:27:41.160 --> 00:27:42.940
 might be realizing

00:27:42.940 --> 00:27:43.519
 and admitting

00:27:43.519 --> 00:27:44.299
 that you're lost.

00:27:47.559 --> 00:27:48.380
 And you're almost

00:27:48.380 --> 00:27:49.079
 certainly going

00:27:49.079 --> 00:27:49.880
 to need help

00:27:49.880 --> 00:27:51.460
 to walk your way

00:27:51.460 --> 00:27:52.200
 out of the forest.

00:27:54.259 --> 00:27:55.539
 If you've never gone

00:27:55.539 --> 00:27:57.019
 to marriage counseling,

00:27:57.380 --> 00:27:58.160
 that's not something

00:27:58.160 --> 00:27:58.779
 to be proud of.

00:27:58.880 --> 00:27:59.460
 There are people

00:27:59.460 --> 00:28:00.160
 who are proud

00:28:00.160 --> 00:28:00.640
 of the fact

00:28:00.640 --> 00:28:01.119
 that they've never

00:28:01.119 --> 00:28:01.720
 sought help.

00:28:02.180 --> 00:28:02.799
 I'm not saying

00:28:02.799 --> 00:28:03.539
 you should be ashamed

00:28:03.539 --> 00:28:04.019
 that you haven't.

00:28:04.079 --> 00:28:04.359
 Some people

00:28:04.359 --> 00:28:05.000
 don't need to go.

00:28:06.799 --> 00:28:08.359
 But part of embracing

00:28:08.359 --> 00:28:08.879
 the gospel

00:28:08.879 --> 00:28:09.599
 is knowing

00:28:09.599 --> 00:28:10.359
 that it's okay

00:28:10.359 --> 00:28:11.159
 to not be okay.

00:28:11.319 --> 00:28:11.940
 It's okay

00:28:11.940 --> 00:28:13.460
 to talk to other people

00:28:13.460 --> 00:28:14.240
 about our failures

00:28:14.240 --> 00:28:14.960
 because it's okay

00:28:14.960 --> 00:28:15.440
 to fail.

00:28:16.359 --> 00:28:17.299
 God gives us grace

00:28:17.299 --> 00:28:17.720
 for that.

00:28:18.079 --> 00:28:18.619
 So the gospel

00:28:18.619 --> 00:28:19.759
 frees us up

00:28:19.759 --> 00:28:21.039
 to go and begin

00:28:21.039 --> 00:28:21.539
 to confess

00:28:21.539 --> 00:28:22.859
 and have hard conversations

00:28:22.859 --> 00:28:24.119
 with other people.

00:28:24.259 --> 00:28:25.220
 People who understand

00:28:25.220 --> 00:28:25.779
 the gospel,

00:28:26.839 --> 00:28:27.379
 they don't boast

00:28:27.379 --> 00:28:28.099
 in their strength.

00:28:28.980 --> 00:28:29.680
 They boast

00:28:29.680 --> 00:28:30.359
 in their weakness.

00:28:31.359 --> 00:28:32.220
 It takes courage

00:28:32.220 --> 00:28:33.079
 and strength

00:28:33.079 --> 00:28:34.660
 and reliance

00:28:34.660 --> 00:28:35.660
 on Jesus Christ

00:28:35.660 --> 00:28:37.259
 to begin to talk

00:28:37.259 --> 00:28:38.980
 about how bad things

00:28:38.980 --> 00:28:39.960
 might be in your marriage

00:28:39.960 --> 00:28:44.039
 and take the next step.

00:28:45.720 --> 00:28:47.079
 If you take the next step,

00:28:47.140 --> 00:28:48.860
 if you begin to talk

00:28:48.860 --> 00:28:49.940
 openly about these things,

00:28:50.019 --> 00:28:51.019
 know that I'm proud of you.

00:28:51.960 --> 00:28:53.180
 I'm rooting for you.

00:28:54.180 --> 00:28:55.460
 It takes a lot of courage

00:28:55.460 --> 00:28:57.380
 to talk about things

00:28:57.380 --> 00:28:58.000
 that are not right.

00:28:58.079 --> 00:28:59.059
 It takes vulnerability.

00:28:59.480 --> 00:29:00.360
 It takes confidence

00:29:00.359 --> 00:29:01.619
 and trust in God

00:29:01.619 --> 00:29:03.299
 to know that it's going

00:29:03.299 --> 00:29:03.959
 to be okay.

00:29:06.359 --> 00:29:07.839
 And God does have

00:29:07.839 --> 00:29:09.000
 a future

00:29:09.000 --> 00:29:10.619
 and a hope for you.

00:29:11.359 --> 00:29:12.399
 There is always

00:29:12.399 --> 00:29:13.079
 a future

00:29:13.079 --> 00:29:15.519
 for people

00:29:15.519 --> 00:29:16.099
 who belong

00:29:16.099 --> 00:29:17.039
 to Jesus Christ.

00:29:20.719 --> 00:29:21.199
 Now,

00:29:21.279 --> 00:29:22.379
 you might be wondering,

00:29:22.939 --> 00:29:23.199
 okay,

00:29:23.240 --> 00:29:23.979
 this is great.

00:29:23.980 --> 00:29:26.039
 I am so glad

00:29:26.039 --> 00:29:26.920
 for all those

00:29:26.920 --> 00:29:27.700
 married people

00:29:27.700 --> 00:29:29.599
 that they have

00:29:29.599 --> 00:29:30.059
 an outlet

00:29:30.059 --> 00:29:31.299
 to escape temptation.

00:29:32.980 --> 00:29:33.819
 What about

00:29:33.819 --> 00:29:34.400
 those of us

00:29:34.400 --> 00:29:34.940
 who are single?

00:29:35.360 --> 00:29:36.240
 What in the world

00:29:36.240 --> 00:29:36.940
 does this passage

00:29:36.940 --> 00:29:37.940
 have to say to us?

00:29:39.460 --> 00:29:39.980
 Well,

00:29:40.079 --> 00:29:40.819
 one application

00:29:40.819 --> 00:29:42.039
 would be this,

00:29:42.079 --> 00:29:42.880
 and it's the same thing

00:29:42.880 --> 00:29:43.620
 that Paul again

00:29:43.620 --> 00:29:44.180
 tells us

00:29:44.180 --> 00:29:45.579
 in 1 Corinthians 7.

00:29:45.880 --> 00:29:46.420
 Paul says,

00:29:46.559 --> 00:29:47.620
 it's better to marry

00:29:47.620 --> 00:29:48.880
 than to burn.

00:29:49.599 --> 00:29:50.440
 In other words,

00:29:50.440 --> 00:29:52.160
 if you are experiencing

00:29:52.160 --> 00:29:53.259
 a strong

00:29:53.259 --> 00:29:54.580
 and high sex drive

00:29:54.580 --> 00:29:56.539
 and you find it

00:29:56.539 --> 00:29:57.120
 challenging

00:29:57.120 --> 00:29:58.240
 to work with that

00:29:58.240 --> 00:29:59.160
 as a single person,

00:29:59.460 --> 00:30:00.779
 there's an app

00:30:00.779 --> 00:30:01.240
 for that.

00:30:02.360 --> 00:30:03.600
 It's called marriage.

00:30:04.880 --> 00:30:06.000
 It's not wrong

00:30:06.000 --> 00:30:06.759
 to be single.

00:30:07.920 --> 00:30:08.340
 There can be

00:30:08.340 --> 00:30:09.220
 goodness and singleness,

00:30:09.380 --> 00:30:09.500
 right?

00:30:09.559 --> 00:30:10.220
 I'm single.

00:30:10.480 --> 00:30:11.259
 I don't disapprove

00:30:11.259 --> 00:30:11.980
 of single people,

00:30:12.120 --> 00:30:12.460
 obviously.

00:30:13.600 --> 00:30:14.880
 And it's good

00:30:14.880 --> 00:30:15.320
 and right

00:30:15.320 --> 00:30:16.539
 to pursue marriage

00:30:16.539 --> 00:30:18.360
 as part

00:30:18.360 --> 00:30:19.000
 of your pursuit

00:30:19.000 --> 00:30:19.920
 of sexual purity.

00:30:20.440 --> 00:30:22.299
 it's okay

00:30:22.299 --> 00:30:22.860
 to say,

00:30:23.019 --> 00:30:23.160
 hey,

00:30:23.279 --> 00:30:23.980
 I'm not sure

00:30:23.980 --> 00:30:24.700
 if I can do this

00:30:24.700 --> 00:30:25.140
 on my own.

00:30:25.200 --> 00:30:26.360
 I had a conversation

00:30:26.360 --> 00:30:27.140
 with a friend of mine

00:30:27.140 --> 00:30:27.759
 not connected

00:30:27.759 --> 00:30:28.320
 with this church

00:30:28.320 --> 00:30:28.920
 in any way

00:30:28.920 --> 00:30:29.440
 in another part

00:30:29.440 --> 00:30:29.840
 of the country

00:30:29.840 --> 00:30:30.660
 earlier this week

00:30:30.660 --> 00:30:31.860
 who had incidentally

00:30:31.860 --> 00:30:32.400
 and he told me

00:30:32.400 --> 00:30:33.019
 he's in a place

00:30:33.019 --> 00:30:33.440
 where he's starting

00:30:33.440 --> 00:30:34.220
 to think he needs

00:30:34.220 --> 00:30:35.620
 to pursue marriage

00:30:35.620 --> 00:30:36.420
 more aggressively

00:30:36.420 --> 00:30:37.519
 in part

00:30:37.519 --> 00:30:38.340
 because he believes

00:30:38.340 --> 00:30:39.140
 that's going to help him

00:30:39.140 --> 00:30:40.420
 live with greater purity

00:30:40.420 --> 00:30:41.279
 in his life.

00:30:42.940 --> 00:30:43.539
 And so if you're

00:30:43.539 --> 00:30:44.380
 a single person,

00:30:45.299 --> 00:30:46.680
 it is good

00:30:46.680 --> 00:30:47.559
 and right

00:30:47.559 --> 00:30:49.380
 to pursue marriage.

00:30:49.380 --> 00:30:49.420
 marriage.

00:30:50.360 --> 00:30:51.100
 You don't have to.

00:30:51.160 --> 00:30:51.660
 It's good and right

00:30:51.660 --> 00:30:52.700
 to be single as well.

00:30:53.700 --> 00:30:54.280
 But if you feel

00:30:54.280 --> 00:30:55.280
 like your sex drive

00:30:55.280 --> 00:30:55.740
 is something

00:30:55.740 --> 00:30:57.100
 that is pulling you

00:30:57.100 --> 00:30:57.960
 away to temptation

00:30:57.960 --> 00:30:58.600
 constantly,

00:30:58.900 --> 00:31:00.180
 that is a good reason

00:31:00.180 --> 00:31:01.000
 to pursue marriage.

00:31:01.380 --> 00:31:01.760
 And in fact,

00:31:01.840 --> 00:31:02.400
 the Proverbs

00:31:02.400 --> 00:31:03.540
 talks about marriage

00:31:03.540 --> 00:31:04.120
 as something

00:31:04.120 --> 00:31:04.900
 that we pursue.

00:31:05.080 --> 00:31:06.320
 Proverbs 18,

00:31:06.640 --> 00:31:07.820
 verse 22 says,

00:31:07.960 --> 00:31:08.560
 it's a blessing

00:31:08.560 --> 00:31:09.160
 to a man

00:31:09.160 --> 00:31:10.460
 who finds a wife.

00:31:10.460 --> 00:31:12.120
 That is a active word.

00:31:12.200 --> 00:31:13.180
 It's a pursuing word.

00:31:13.680 --> 00:31:14.520
 There are things

00:31:14.520 --> 00:31:15.400
 single people

00:31:15.400 --> 00:31:15.860
 can do

00:31:15.860 --> 00:31:16.800
 to increase

00:31:16.799 --> 00:31:17.659
 chances

00:31:17.659 --> 00:31:18.220
 and likelihood

00:31:18.220 --> 00:31:18.799
 of marriage.

00:31:19.539 --> 00:31:20.579
 It doesn't make it simple,

00:31:20.680 --> 00:31:20.819
 right?

00:31:20.859 --> 00:31:21.680
 There are single people

00:31:21.680 --> 00:31:22.000
 who have done

00:31:22.000 --> 00:31:23.299
 everything they can

00:31:23.299 --> 00:31:24.779
 and they're still single.

00:31:24.960 --> 00:31:26.000
 So we don't make

00:31:26.000 --> 00:31:26.480
 assumptions

00:31:26.480 --> 00:31:27.259
 or judgments

00:31:27.259 --> 00:31:28.460
 about why someone's single.

00:31:29.099 --> 00:31:30.259
 There's also people

00:31:30.259 --> 00:31:30.980
 who are single

00:31:30.980 --> 00:31:32.819
 who think of themselves

00:31:32.819 --> 00:31:33.539
 as victims

00:31:33.539 --> 00:31:35.779
 when instead

00:31:35.779 --> 00:31:36.720
 there's all sorts

00:31:36.720 --> 00:31:37.200
 of things

00:31:37.200 --> 00:31:37.700
 they can do

00:31:37.700 --> 00:31:38.379
 to pursue it.

00:31:38.639 --> 00:31:39.619
 Whether you're a man

00:31:39.619 --> 00:31:40.379
 or a woman,

00:31:40.680 --> 00:31:41.460
 there are things

00:31:41.460 --> 00:31:41.980
 you can do

00:31:41.980 --> 00:31:42.700
 to make yourself

00:31:42.700 --> 00:31:44.059
 a more attractive partner.

00:31:45.059 --> 00:31:45.919
 Whether you're a man

00:31:45.919 --> 00:31:46.500
 or a woman,

00:31:46.619 --> 00:31:48.039
 you may have to re-examine

00:31:48.039 --> 00:31:49.419
 some of your expectations

00:31:49.419 --> 00:31:50.019
 for marriage.

00:31:50.099 --> 00:31:50.799
 You may have to think

00:31:50.799 --> 00:31:51.879
 that some of what you want

00:31:51.879 --> 00:31:52.960
 or are desiring

00:31:52.960 --> 00:31:53.619
 is unrealistic.

00:31:55.220 --> 00:31:56.480
 You may have to deal

00:31:56.480 --> 00:31:56.960
 with things

00:31:56.960 --> 00:31:57.839
 in your past

00:31:57.839 --> 00:31:58.940
 that cause you

00:31:58.940 --> 00:31:59.659
 to be unable

00:31:59.659 --> 00:32:00.700
 to make a commitment

00:32:00.700 --> 00:32:01.419
 like marriage.

00:32:01.980 --> 00:32:02.960
 All of that to say

00:32:02.960 --> 00:32:03.980
 there are all sorts

00:32:03.980 --> 00:32:04.539
 of things

00:32:04.539 --> 00:32:05.720
 that we can do

00:32:05.720 --> 00:32:06.779
 as single people

00:32:06.779 --> 00:32:08.099
 if we desire marriage

00:32:08.099 --> 00:32:09.279
 to increase our odds.

00:32:10.539 --> 00:32:11.259
 Now, I'm not saying

00:32:11.259 --> 00:32:12.000
 it's going to happen

00:32:12.000 --> 00:32:13.339
 and it's going to guarantee it.

00:32:14.119 --> 00:32:14.699
 I'm just saying

00:32:14.699 --> 00:32:15.439
 it's good and right

00:32:15.439 --> 00:32:16.139
 to pursue it.

00:32:16.799 --> 00:32:17.740
 And that is one

00:32:17.740 --> 00:32:18.480
 of the solutions

00:32:18.480 --> 00:32:19.619
 God has given us

00:32:19.619 --> 00:32:20.659
 for sexual temptation

00:32:20.659 --> 00:32:22.959
 is to pursue marriage

00:32:22.959 --> 00:32:24.419
 as single people.

00:32:28.259 --> 00:32:28.899
 There's nothing

00:32:28.899 --> 00:32:29.639
 to be ashamed of

00:32:29.639 --> 00:32:30.019
 by the way

00:32:30.019 --> 00:32:30.659
 of being single.

00:32:31.399 --> 00:32:32.799
 There's many good things

00:32:32.799 --> 00:32:34.259
 about being single

00:32:34.259 --> 00:32:35.399
 and there's also

00:32:35.399 --> 00:32:36.720
 nothing to be ashamed about

00:32:36.720 --> 00:32:37.939
 of wanting

00:32:37.939 --> 00:32:39.220
 to be married

00:32:39.220 --> 00:32:40.699
 and pursuing marriage.

00:32:40.819 --> 00:32:41.559
 Marriage is not

00:32:41.559 --> 00:32:42.740
 the only answer

00:32:42.740 --> 00:32:45.620
 it's one of the answers

00:32:45.620 --> 00:32:46.799
 that the Bible provides.

00:32:47.859 --> 00:32:49.059
 It's a reason Paul says

00:32:49.059 --> 00:32:50.019
 it's better to marry

00:32:50.019 --> 00:32:51.720
 than to burn.

00:32:56.960 --> 00:32:58.160
 Now, I've told you before

00:32:58.160 --> 00:32:58.880
 that there are

00:32:58.880 --> 00:33:00.819
 many negative reasons

00:33:00.819 --> 00:33:01.319
 that we

00:33:01.319 --> 00:33:03.259
 go away from sin.

00:33:03.680 --> 00:33:04.460
 Proverbs lists

00:33:04.460 --> 00:33:05.099
 many of those.

00:33:05.200 --> 00:33:06.380
 We've listed many of them

00:33:06.380 --> 00:33:07.279
 this morning.

00:33:07.279 --> 00:33:09.359
 But ultimately,

00:33:09.500 --> 00:33:10.399
 it's not the consequences

00:33:10.399 --> 00:33:11.099
 of sin

00:33:11.099 --> 00:33:12.879
 that we want to use

00:33:12.879 --> 00:33:14.000
 as our greatest motivation.

00:33:14.180 --> 00:33:14.559
 We want

00:33:14.559 --> 00:33:16.139
 a greater love.

00:33:16.559 --> 00:33:17.139
 We talked about

00:33:17.139 --> 00:33:17.740
 our loves

00:33:17.740 --> 00:33:18.920
 in chapter

00:33:18.920 --> 00:33:20.940
 two.

00:33:21.279 --> 00:33:22.539
 So we want to love

00:33:22.539 --> 00:33:24.099
 something more.

00:33:24.180 --> 00:33:24.619
 We want something

00:33:24.619 --> 00:33:25.879
 to be even greater

00:33:25.879 --> 00:33:27.319
 than the offer

00:33:27.319 --> 00:33:29.160
 of sexual satisfaction.

00:33:30.200 --> 00:33:31.379
 And sex is

00:33:31.379 --> 00:33:32.180
 a gift from God.

00:33:32.259 --> 00:33:33.339
 He's given it to us

00:33:33.339 --> 00:33:34.119
 to point to something

00:33:34.119 --> 00:33:35.899
 that's even more glorious

00:33:35.899 --> 00:33:36.979
 than sex itself.

00:33:38.439 --> 00:33:39.479
 It's pointing,

00:33:39.639 --> 00:33:40.719
 it's looking forward

00:33:40.719 --> 00:33:42.559
 to an even greater

00:33:42.559 --> 00:33:43.759
 and fuller intimacy

00:33:43.759 --> 00:33:44.559
 and community

00:33:44.559 --> 00:33:46.059
 that we are going

00:33:46.059 --> 00:33:46.619
 to have

00:33:46.619 --> 00:33:47.339
 with God

00:33:47.339 --> 00:33:47.939
 in heaven.

00:33:49.719 --> 00:33:51.259
 And so we can see it

00:33:51.259 --> 00:33:52.679
 knowing that it's good

00:33:52.679 --> 00:33:54.439
 and knowing that it points

00:33:54.439 --> 00:33:55.219
 to something better.

00:33:55.359 --> 00:33:56.299
 We can desire

00:33:56.299 --> 00:33:57.239
 that something better.

00:33:57.799 --> 00:33:58.819
 There's a French man

00:33:58.819 --> 00:33:59.259
 whose name

00:33:59.259 --> 00:33:59.899
 I'm going to butcher,

00:34:00.379 --> 00:34:01.319
 Francois Marillac,

00:34:01.319 --> 00:34:02.539
 who struggled

00:34:02.539 --> 00:34:03.679
 with sexual temptation

00:34:03.679 --> 00:34:05.339
 and he looked at

00:34:05.339 --> 00:34:06.399
 the consequences

00:34:06.399 --> 00:34:07.279
 that came from it

00:34:07.279 --> 00:34:07.539
 and he said,

00:34:07.619 --> 00:34:08.279
 at the end of the day,

00:34:08.360 --> 00:34:09.239
 what motivates me

00:34:09.239 --> 00:34:10.219
 is not the danger.

00:34:11.500 --> 00:34:12.199
 The warnings aren't

00:34:12.199 --> 00:34:13.319
 what's most helpful to me.

00:34:13.420 --> 00:34:14.259
 What motivates me

00:34:14.259 --> 00:34:15.360
 is Jesus' words

00:34:15.360 --> 00:34:16.579
 in Matthew chapter five

00:34:16.579 --> 00:34:17.019
 when he says,

00:34:17.380 --> 00:34:18.179
 blessed are the pure

00:34:18.179 --> 00:34:18.799
 in heart

00:34:18.799 --> 00:34:20.699
 for they shall see God.

00:34:20.799 --> 00:34:21.900
 It's my desire

00:34:21.900 --> 00:34:23.420
 to see God,

00:34:23.500 --> 00:34:24.639
 my love for him.

00:34:25.159 --> 00:34:26.340
 It's that greater love

00:34:26.340 --> 00:34:27.099
 that's greater

00:34:27.099 --> 00:34:28.920
 than my sexual drives.

00:34:28.920 --> 00:34:31.360
 That is what motivates me

00:34:31.360 --> 00:34:31.980
 because I know

00:34:31.980 --> 00:34:32.559
 that that sex

00:34:32.559 --> 00:34:33.500
 is something small

00:34:33.500 --> 00:34:34.340
 that points

00:34:34.340 --> 00:34:35.320
 to something big

00:34:35.320 --> 00:34:37.139
 and that something big

00:34:37.139 --> 00:34:38.000
 is being able

00:34:38.000 --> 00:34:39.740
 to see God.

00:34:41.720 --> 00:34:43.440
 And so that empowers us

00:34:43.440 --> 00:34:44.119
 and enables us.

00:34:44.220 --> 00:34:44.340
 Remember,

00:34:44.599 --> 00:34:46.139
 Jesus makes better promises.

00:34:46.360 --> 00:34:47.480
 He promises us

00:34:47.480 --> 00:34:48.720
 something better

00:34:48.720 --> 00:34:49.680
 than sexual pleasure.

00:34:49.820 --> 00:34:50.860
 He promises us

00:34:50.860 --> 00:34:52.139
 something better

00:34:52.139 --> 00:34:53.519
 than this strange woman

00:34:53.519 --> 00:34:54.360
 in chapter five

00:34:54.360 --> 00:34:55.380
 or a strange man.

00:34:55.559 --> 00:34:57.639
 He promises us himself

00:34:57.639 --> 00:34:58.820
 and so we can look forward

00:34:58.820 --> 00:34:59.580
 to that as people

00:34:59.580 --> 00:35:00.300
 who are married.

00:35:01.760 --> 00:35:03.260
 There is something better

00:35:03.260 --> 00:35:04.260
 that God's given us.

00:35:04.380 --> 00:35:05.720
 He's been faithful to us.

00:35:05.800 --> 00:35:06.340
 We can model

00:35:06.340 --> 00:35:07.380
 that faithfulness now

00:35:07.380 --> 00:35:08.160
 as we look forward

00:35:08.160 --> 00:35:09.140
 to our intimacy

00:35:09.140 --> 00:35:10.220
 with him in the future.

00:35:11.059 --> 00:35:12.340
 As single people,

00:35:12.620 --> 00:35:13.700
 we can remain

00:35:13.700 --> 00:35:14.840
 sexually faithful

00:35:14.840 --> 00:35:16.860
 knowing whatever pleasure

00:35:16.860 --> 00:35:17.920
 we miss out on

00:35:17.920 --> 00:35:18.860
 in this world,

00:35:19.700 --> 00:35:20.680
 there is something

00:35:20.680 --> 00:35:21.780
 greater for us

00:35:21.780 --> 00:35:22.340
 in the next.

00:35:22.800 --> 00:35:23.400
 There is something

00:35:23.400 --> 00:35:24.660
 greater for us now.

00:35:25.960 --> 00:35:27.260
 And so we haven't failed

00:35:27.260 --> 00:35:29.720
 if we do not have

00:35:29.720 --> 00:35:31.020
 the sexual experiences

00:35:31.020 --> 00:35:32.840
 that our culture tells us

00:35:32.840 --> 00:35:33.500
 we need to have

00:35:33.500 --> 00:35:34.280
 to be successful.

00:35:36.180 --> 00:35:37.580
 There is a greater

00:35:37.580 --> 00:35:39.280
 and better definition

00:35:39.280 --> 00:35:40.520
 of sex

00:35:40.520 --> 00:35:42.520
 that God gives us

00:35:42.520 --> 00:35:43.860
 in his word.

00:35:46.200 --> 00:35:47.360
 In his book,

00:35:47.780 --> 00:35:48.980
 Why Does God Care

00:35:48.980 --> 00:35:49.860
 Who I Sleep With?,

00:35:49.860 --> 00:35:52.800
 a man named Sam Alberry

00:35:52.800 --> 00:35:54.240
 gives a wonderful illustration

00:35:54.240 --> 00:35:55.860
 of mistaking

00:35:55.860 --> 00:35:57.460
 something small

00:35:57.460 --> 00:35:58.060
 and missing

00:35:58.060 --> 00:35:59.260
 something that's big.

00:36:00.360 --> 00:36:00.800
 He says,

00:36:00.880 --> 00:36:01.480
 there's a scene

00:36:01.480 --> 00:36:02.920
 in the movie Amadeus

00:36:02.920 --> 00:36:03.840
 where the young Mozart

00:36:03.840 --> 00:36:05.460
 meets Emperor Joseph II

00:36:05.460 --> 00:36:06.440
 for the first time.

00:36:07.300 --> 00:36:08.380
 As he is led in,

00:36:08.460 --> 00:36:09.080
 he is presented

00:36:09.080 --> 00:36:09.860
 before a man

00:36:09.860 --> 00:36:11.340
 who is dressed grandly

00:36:11.340 --> 00:36:12.500
 and looks to be

00:36:12.500 --> 00:36:13.320
 highly important.

00:36:14.080 --> 00:36:15.340
 So Mozart instinctively

00:36:15.340 --> 00:36:16.000
 bows low,

00:36:16.140 --> 00:36:16.780
 thinking him to be

00:36:16.780 --> 00:36:17.280
 the emperor.

00:36:18.100 --> 00:36:20.019
 The man looks horrified

00:36:20.019 --> 00:36:21.739
 and discreetly points

00:36:21.739 --> 00:36:22.340
 toward the side

00:36:22.340 --> 00:36:22.800
 of the room

00:36:22.800 --> 00:36:24.119
 where the actual emperor

00:36:24.119 --> 00:36:25.579
 is sitting at a piano.

00:36:26.440 --> 00:36:27.860
 It is an awkward moment

00:36:27.860 --> 00:36:29.059
 as Mozart realizes

00:36:29.059 --> 00:36:30.039
 what he has done

00:36:30.039 --> 00:36:31.579
 and he quickly goes on

00:36:31.579 --> 00:36:32.139
 to acknowledge

00:36:32.139 --> 00:36:33.179
 the real emperor

00:36:33.179 --> 00:36:34.219
 appropriately.

00:36:35.639 --> 00:36:36.400
 He mistook

00:36:36.400 --> 00:36:37.679
 something small,

00:36:37.840 --> 00:36:38.559
 someone small

00:36:38.559 --> 00:36:40.000
 for someone great.

00:36:40.179 --> 00:36:40.860
 That's what we do

00:36:40.860 --> 00:36:42.280
 when we mistake sex

00:36:42.280 --> 00:36:43.699
 as the end of our lives,

00:36:44.019 --> 00:36:45.059
 the greatest thing

00:36:45.059 --> 00:36:45.900
 we can experience.

00:36:46.699 --> 00:36:47.539
 Many of us need

00:36:47.539 --> 00:36:47.940
 to go through

00:36:47.940 --> 00:36:49.000
 a similar process

00:36:49.000 --> 00:36:49.780
 when it comes to

00:36:49.780 --> 00:36:50.760
 marriage and romance.

00:36:51.380 --> 00:36:52.780
 When we first encounter it,

00:36:52.820 --> 00:36:54.079
 it can seem so glorious

00:36:54.079 --> 00:36:55.099
 and resplendent

00:36:55.099 --> 00:36:55.840
 with significance

00:36:55.840 --> 00:36:57.500
 that we easily think

00:36:57.500 --> 00:36:58.260
 it must be ultimate.

00:36:59.139 --> 00:37:00.559
 How else do we account

00:37:00.559 --> 00:37:02.019
 for how it can make us feel?

00:37:02.659 --> 00:37:04.079
 But the fact remains

00:37:04.079 --> 00:37:05.119
 that it is the purpose

00:37:05.119 --> 00:37:05.880
 of such things

00:37:05.880 --> 00:37:06.820
 to point us

00:37:06.820 --> 00:37:08.219
 to where fulfillment

00:37:08.219 --> 00:37:08.880
 is really meant

00:37:08.880 --> 00:37:09.539
 to be found.

00:37:10.420 --> 00:37:10.900
 In other words,

00:37:10.940 --> 00:37:11.900
 it's not sex

00:37:11.900 --> 00:37:13.579
 that gives us

00:37:13.579 --> 00:37:14.559
 our greatest fulfillment

00:37:14.559 --> 00:37:15.719
 and meaning in this life.

00:37:15.840 --> 00:37:16.719
 That's what the world

00:37:16.719 --> 00:37:17.599
 wants to tell us.

00:37:17.599 --> 00:37:18.779
 Instead,

00:37:18.980 --> 00:37:19.519
 it is God

00:37:19.519 --> 00:37:20.219
 and our relationship

00:37:20.219 --> 00:37:20.739
 with Him.

00:37:21.639 --> 00:37:22.380
 He goes on,

00:37:22.440 --> 00:37:23.059
 one of the ways

00:37:23.059 --> 00:37:23.619
 that happens

00:37:23.619 --> 00:37:24.880
 is when we realize

00:37:24.880 --> 00:37:25.779
 that our relationships

00:37:25.779 --> 00:37:26.880
 cannot deliver

00:37:26.880 --> 00:37:28.299
 all that we expect

00:37:28.299 --> 00:37:28.739
 from them.

00:37:29.579 --> 00:37:30.440
 If we look to them

00:37:30.440 --> 00:37:30.980
 to provide

00:37:30.980 --> 00:37:32.239
 ultimate satisfaction,

00:37:32.420 --> 00:37:33.099
 we will only

00:37:33.099 --> 00:37:33.960
 be disappointed.

00:37:35.299 --> 00:37:35.839
 C.S. Lewis

00:37:35.839 --> 00:37:36.980
 puts it so vividly,

00:37:37.039 --> 00:37:37.920
 we are half-hearted

00:37:37.920 --> 00:37:39.259
 creatures fooling about

00:37:39.259 --> 00:37:39.819
 with drink

00:37:39.819 --> 00:37:40.839
 and sex

00:37:40.839 --> 00:37:41.339
 and ambition

00:37:41.339 --> 00:37:42.219
 when infinite joy

00:37:42.219 --> 00:37:42.940
 is offered us.

00:37:43.380 --> 00:37:44.819
 Like an ignorant child

00:37:44.819 --> 00:37:45.539
 who wants to go

00:37:45.539 --> 00:37:46.619
 on making mud pies

00:37:46.619 --> 00:37:47.339
 in a slum

00:37:47.339 --> 00:37:48.659
 because he cannot

00:37:48.659 --> 00:37:49.659
 imagine what is meant

00:37:49.659 --> 00:37:50.259
 by the offer

00:37:50.259 --> 00:37:50.839
 of a holiday

00:37:50.839 --> 00:37:51.420
 at the sea.

00:37:52.299 --> 00:37:52.980
 We are far

00:37:52.980 --> 00:37:54.219
 too easily pleased.

00:37:55.179 --> 00:37:56.619
 To make sexual freedom

00:37:56.619 --> 00:37:57.519
 our ultimate goal

00:37:57.519 --> 00:37:58.119
 is to think

00:37:58.119 --> 00:37:58.719
 that sex

00:37:58.719 --> 00:37:59.359
 and romance

00:37:59.359 --> 00:38:00.599
 is simply

00:38:00.599 --> 00:38:01.139
 an end

00:38:01.139 --> 00:38:02.000
 in itself.

00:38:05.900 --> 00:38:07.000
 Sexual temptation

00:38:07.000 --> 00:38:08.279
 is real.

00:38:09.900 --> 00:38:10.920
 The destruction

00:38:10.920 --> 00:38:11.699
 that comes

00:38:11.699 --> 00:38:12.759
 from sexual temptation

00:38:12.759 --> 00:38:13.259
 is real.

00:38:13.460 --> 00:38:14.679
 God has offered us

00:38:14.679 --> 00:38:15.659
 many ways out.

00:38:16.500 --> 00:38:17.239
 One of them

00:38:17.239 --> 00:38:18.899
 is through the relationship

00:38:18.899 --> 00:38:19.679
 he gives

00:38:19.679 --> 00:38:20.879
 husbands and wives

00:38:20.879 --> 00:38:21.460
 in marriage.

00:38:22.339 --> 00:38:23.619
 But even more than that,

00:38:23.699 --> 00:38:24.739
 he has offered us

00:38:24.739 --> 00:38:25.639
 something greater.

00:38:26.399 --> 00:38:27.379
 He's offered us

00:38:27.379 --> 00:38:28.339
 himself.

00:38:28.719 --> 00:38:29.179
 And so whether

00:38:29.179 --> 00:38:29.699
 single

00:38:29.699 --> 00:38:31.059
 or married,

00:38:31.399 --> 00:38:32.039
 we remain

00:38:32.039 --> 00:38:33.119
 sexually faithful

00:38:33.119 --> 00:38:34.579
 because of that,

00:38:34.659 --> 00:38:35.319
 because of Jesus.

00:38:36.119 --> 00:38:36.960
 We look forward

00:38:36.960 --> 00:38:37.759
 to that now.

00:38:38.579 --> 00:38:39.799
 We practice it now

00:38:39.799 --> 00:38:40.779
 and we'll celebrate it

00:38:40.779 --> 00:38:41.440
 even more

00:38:41.440 --> 00:38:41.940
 in the future.

00:38:41.940 --> 00:38:43.700
 So I invite you

00:38:43.700 --> 00:38:44.300
 to pray with me.

00:38:46.760 --> 00:38:47.820
 Our Father in Heaven,

00:38:47.960 --> 00:38:49.340
 we just thank you

00:38:49.340 --> 00:38:49.900
 and praise you

00:38:49.900 --> 00:38:50.579
 for your word

00:38:50.579 --> 00:38:51.440
 that reminds us

00:38:51.440 --> 00:38:52.260
 of what's true

00:38:52.260 --> 00:38:53.800
 when we're tempted

00:38:53.800 --> 00:38:54.820
 to believe lies.

00:38:54.920 --> 00:38:55.639
 We ask that you

00:38:55.639 --> 00:38:56.619
 would help us

00:38:56.619 --> 00:38:58.159
 in our sexuality,

00:38:58.940 --> 00:38:59.679
 the temptations

00:38:59.679 --> 00:39:00.619
 that face us,

00:39:01.659 --> 00:39:02.480
 that for those of us

00:39:02.480 --> 00:39:03.119
 who are married,

00:39:03.539 --> 00:39:04.559
 that we would walk

00:39:04.559 --> 00:39:06.019
 more and more

00:39:06.019 --> 00:39:06.579
 together

00:39:06.579 --> 00:39:09.159
 in our sex lives,

00:39:09.280 --> 00:39:09.780
 that it would be

00:39:09.780 --> 00:39:10.820
 something that builds

00:39:10.820 --> 00:39:11.560
 up and nurtures

00:39:11.560 --> 00:39:12.060
 our marriage

00:39:12.060 --> 00:39:12.860
 and it protects us

00:39:12.860 --> 00:39:13.500
 from temptation.

00:39:13.700 --> 00:39:14.320
 We ask for those

00:39:14.320 --> 00:39:15.220
 of us who are single,

00:39:15.960 --> 00:39:16.940
 for those who desire

00:39:16.940 --> 00:39:17.580
 a spouse,

00:39:17.920 --> 00:39:18.840
 that you would provide it.

00:39:19.600 --> 00:39:20.240
 And for those

00:39:20.240 --> 00:39:20.960
 without a spouse,

00:39:21.080 --> 00:39:22.440
 that you would be

00:39:22.440 --> 00:39:23.420
 faithful to your promise

00:39:23.420 --> 00:39:24.400
 that there's no temptation

00:39:24.400 --> 00:39:24.960
 that you haven't

00:39:24.960 --> 00:39:25.980
 provided escape from.

00:39:26.960 --> 00:39:27.620
 That you'd give us

00:39:27.620 --> 00:39:29.260
 not a love of pleasure,

00:39:29.380 --> 00:39:30.440
 but an even greater love

00:39:30.440 --> 00:39:31.080
 of what you offer

00:39:31.080 --> 00:39:32.019
 to us in your Son.

00:39:32.280 --> 00:39:33.600
 We ask all of these things

00:39:33.600 --> 00:39:34.340
 in Jesus' name.

00:39:35.000 --> 00:39:35.220
 Amen.

00:39:35.220 --> 00:39:35.360
 Amen.