WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:03.480 Let's now get to Romans 9. 00:00:03.480 --> 00:00:06.200 Four weeks we're going to have in August 00:00:06.200 --> 00:00:08.679 to look together at the section we just read. 00:00:08.679 --> 00:00:13.439 Four whole weeks to slow down and really think about it. 00:00:13.439 --> 00:00:16.879 And that's good because this is a very important section, 00:00:16.879 --> 00:00:18.559 this back half of Romans 12. 00:00:18.559 --> 00:00:20.519 It's all about love. 00:00:20.519 --> 00:00:22.800 And that makes it very important. 00:00:22.800 --> 00:00:25.000 So we're going to spend four weeks looking 00:00:25.000 --> 00:00:29.800 at defining love, love of our city, love of the church, 00:00:29.800 --> 00:00:32.320 and love for the ministry that we've been given. 00:00:32.320 --> 00:00:34.759 So each week we're going to look at one of those things. 00:00:34.759 --> 00:00:37.160 So this Sunday we think about defining love. 00:00:37.160 --> 00:00:41.079 And the reason for that is in verse 9, when Paul says, 00:00:41.079 --> 00:00:44.439 let your love be genuine, he is assuming 00:00:44.439 --> 00:00:48.519 that you have an idea of what love is. 00:00:48.519 --> 00:00:50.040 So in order for him to give that command, 00:00:50.040 --> 00:00:53.799 let your love be genuine, you have to say, I know what love is. 00:00:53.799 --> 00:00:57.719 And so this morning we get to say in the words of foreigner, 00:00:57.719 --> 00:00:59.640 I want to know what love is. 00:00:59.640 --> 00:01:01.520 I want you to show me. 00:01:01.520 --> 00:01:03.840 And that's exactly what we get to say to Paul 00:01:03.840 --> 00:01:06.480 and to God here through his word. 00:01:06.480 --> 00:01:07.560 And he's going to do that. 00:01:07.560 --> 00:01:09.760 He's going to teach us three things, three lessons. 00:01:09.760 --> 00:01:11.840 First, the primacy of love. 00:01:11.840 --> 00:01:14.640 And then secondly, the nature of love. 00:01:14.640 --> 00:01:18.560 And then finally, how to get it, how to get love in your life. 00:01:18.560 --> 00:01:19.319 So let's look at that. 00:01:19.319 --> 00:01:22.079 The primacy of love, the nature of love, 00:01:22.079 --> 00:01:23.760 and then how to get it. 00:01:23.760 --> 00:01:25.400 So first, the primacy of love. 00:01:25.400 --> 00:01:27.480 Very brief on this point. 00:01:27.480 --> 00:01:30.880 He's saying to us, we're only looking at verse nine today. 00:01:30.880 --> 00:01:31.800 That's all. 00:01:31.800 --> 00:01:35.719 He's saying to us in verse nine, that love is primary. 00:01:35.719 --> 00:01:38.280 That love is so central that love really 00:01:38.280 --> 00:01:41.880 is the secret of the meaning of the universe. 00:01:41.880 --> 00:01:44.800 And the way that you can see that, even though it's not 00:01:44.800 --> 00:01:47.200 explicit, is that if you just glance back 00:01:47.200 --> 00:01:49.320 at what Derek's been teaching on the last few Sundays 00:01:49.320 --> 00:01:52.800 in verses three to eight, he's been talking in verses three 00:01:52.800 --> 00:01:54.719 to eight about gifts. 00:01:54.719 --> 00:01:58.079 He said in verses three to eight, every single person who 00:01:58.079 --> 00:02:00.159 comes to faith in Jesus, the Holy Spirit, 00:02:00.159 --> 00:02:02.519 gives a gift for ministry. 00:02:02.519 --> 00:02:04.120 And so he's been talking about giftedness, 00:02:04.120 --> 00:02:07.680 that we're not all the same in the way we've been gifted. 00:02:07.680 --> 00:02:11.599 And then immediately turns in verse nine and says, now love. 00:02:11.599 --> 00:02:12.879 Let your love be genuine. 00:02:12.879 --> 00:02:17.360 Now, if you're a Bible reader, and if you've read much of Paul, 00:02:17.360 --> 00:02:21.360 you might remember that this is exactly the same thing Paul 00:02:21.360 --> 00:02:26.400 does in that very famous passage, First Corinthians 13, 00:02:26.400 --> 00:02:29.760 the great wedding passage that always gets read. 00:02:29.760 --> 00:02:32.600 In First Corinthians 12, he does a whole series 00:02:32.600 --> 00:02:35.720 about gifts, about the different types of gifts 00:02:35.720 --> 00:02:37.560 that you can have in ministry. 00:02:37.560 --> 00:02:40.320 And then all of a sudden, First Corinthians 13 verse one, 00:02:40.320 --> 00:02:43.560 he says, look, you can have the ability 00:02:43.560 --> 00:02:47.440 to speak in the extraordinary gift of tongues. 00:02:47.440 --> 00:02:50.000 But if you don't have love in your heart, 00:02:50.000 --> 00:02:52.319 that is nothing but noise. 00:02:52.319 --> 00:02:55.039 And he said, you can have the gift of prophecy. 00:02:55.039 --> 00:02:58.000 And if you don't have love, you are nothing. 00:02:58.000 --> 00:02:59.719 That's what Paul says. 00:02:59.719 --> 00:03:00.759 Now, this is what he says. 00:03:00.759 --> 00:03:03.400 You can have the gift of mercy all the way to the point, 00:03:03.400 --> 00:03:06.599 First Corinthians 13, of giving away everything you have. 00:03:06.599 --> 00:03:09.719 And he says, even giving away your body to death, 00:03:09.719 --> 00:03:11.319 being a martyr. 00:03:11.319 --> 00:03:14.920 And he says, but if you don't have love, that is nothing. 00:03:14.920 --> 00:03:15.800 Whoa. 00:03:15.800 --> 00:03:18.560 He says, you can be a martyr for the gospel. 00:03:18.560 --> 00:03:22.439 And if you don't have love, it's wasted. 00:03:22.439 --> 00:03:23.280 It's nothing. 00:03:23.280 --> 00:03:25.280 That's what he says in First Corinthians 13. 00:03:25.280 --> 00:03:27.360 We'll come back to that in just a minute. 00:03:27.360 --> 00:03:30.439 But you see the point, First Corinthians 12 to 13, 00:03:30.439 --> 00:03:32.280 gifts, love. 00:03:32.280 --> 00:03:36.599 Romans 12, three to eight, gifts, nine to 21, love. 00:03:36.599 --> 00:03:37.560 It's the same sequence. 00:03:37.560 --> 00:03:40.240 He does it one other time in First Corinthians. 00:03:40.240 --> 00:03:45.240 And the point is that love is the gatekeeper to the gifts. 00:03:45.240 --> 00:03:48.240 Love is like the gatekeeper. 00:03:48.240 --> 00:03:52.240 And it doesn't let the gifts pass through and be used truly 00:03:52.240 --> 00:03:55.520 unless you really have love in your heart. 00:03:55.520 --> 00:03:59.120 And that means that love, love is the soil 00:03:59.120 --> 00:04:03.080 in which giftedness can grow and truly be used 00:04:03.080 --> 00:04:05.640 for the sake of ministry. 00:04:05.640 --> 00:04:06.480 And so you can be gifted. 00:04:06.480 --> 00:04:07.840 You can be gifted for work. 00:04:07.840 --> 00:04:10.600 You can be gifted for parenting. 00:04:10.600 --> 00:04:12.840 Of course, he's talking here about being gifted for ministry, 00:04:12.840 --> 00:04:15.840 gifted for anything. 00:04:15.840 --> 00:04:18.920 And without love, these gifts are not being used correctly. 00:04:18.920 --> 00:04:21.120 They're being wasted, actually. 00:04:21.120 --> 00:04:23.040 And so you see the primacy of love. 00:04:23.040 --> 00:04:24.240 He's saying, love is everything. 00:04:24.240 --> 00:04:25.120 We've got to have it. 00:04:25.120 --> 00:04:26.759 All we need is love. 00:04:26.759 --> 00:04:27.519 All we need is love. 00:04:27.519 --> 00:04:29.240 Love is all we need, right? 00:04:30.240 --> 00:04:31.759 Right, but sort of. 00:04:31.759 --> 00:04:34.079 We have to then go to the next point, 00:04:34.079 --> 00:04:38.120 which is to say that Paul is saying, love is all we need, 00:04:38.120 --> 00:04:39.840 but we have to think more carefully here 00:04:39.840 --> 00:04:42.120 about the nature of love. 00:04:42.120 --> 00:04:44.000 So there's a primacy to love, 00:04:44.000 --> 00:04:45.879 but then we've got to get it right 00:04:45.879 --> 00:04:47.720 by thinking about the nature of love. 00:04:47.720 --> 00:04:48.959 And that's really the heartbeat 00:04:48.959 --> 00:04:51.079 of what Paul's first doing in verse nine. 00:04:51.079 --> 00:04:53.319 So Paul teaches us here, love is primary. 00:04:53.319 --> 00:04:55.000 All we need is love. 00:04:55.000 --> 00:04:56.840 Love is the Christian life. 00:04:56.840 --> 00:04:58.399 It's the sum of the Christian life. 00:04:58.399 --> 00:05:00.240 Love is the meaning of everything. 00:05:00.240 --> 00:05:05.240 But, but you know, as a modern person living in 2023, 00:05:06.600 --> 00:05:10.120 that we do not all mean the same thing 00:05:10.120 --> 00:05:13.959 by the word love in the modern Western world. 00:05:13.959 --> 00:05:17.000 That love gets defined in lots of different ways. 00:05:17.000 --> 00:05:18.720 And so you can't really talk about love 00:05:18.720 --> 00:05:21.519 without being really clear about the definition of love. 00:05:21.519 --> 00:05:23.840 And that's what Paul first gives us here. 00:05:23.840 --> 00:05:26.000 Paul says, love is the ticket, 00:05:26.000 --> 00:05:28.160 but in verse nine, he's assuming 00:05:29.160 --> 00:05:31.240 that you have an answer to the nature of love, 00:05:31.240 --> 00:05:32.680 what love is. 00:05:32.680 --> 00:05:36.439 And so he both assumes the definition of love in verse nine, 00:05:36.439 --> 00:05:40.600 but he also gives it to us as well implicitly. 00:05:40.600 --> 00:05:41.920 So let me show you that. 00:05:41.920 --> 00:05:45.920 And you can see that by looking just at four quick ways 00:05:45.920 --> 00:05:47.519 to understand love. 00:05:47.519 --> 00:05:50.399 Paul gives us four quick ways, I think, 00:05:50.399 --> 00:05:51.839 to understand love here in verse nine. 00:05:51.839 --> 00:05:56.000 And the first thing he does is he says, 00:05:56.000 --> 00:05:57.639 when he says, let your love be genuine. 00:05:57.639 --> 00:05:59.120 The very first thing he teaches us 00:05:59.120 --> 00:06:02.759 about the nature of love is that you aren't loving. 00:06:02.759 --> 00:06:03.600 We aren't loving. 00:06:03.600 --> 00:06:04.439 I'm not loving. 00:06:04.439 --> 00:06:07.600 We humans are not loving. 00:06:08.639 --> 00:06:11.399 And here in Romans 12, he's talking about Christians. 00:06:11.399 --> 00:06:13.800 And ah, he's saying something to us. 00:06:13.800 --> 00:06:18.399 He says, fundamentally, we Christians are not truly lovers. 00:06:18.399 --> 00:06:20.600 Not in the way that we're meant to be. 00:06:20.600 --> 00:06:21.639 And here's how you can see that. 00:06:21.639 --> 00:06:23.480 Because when he says in verse nine, 00:06:23.480 --> 00:06:25.959 let your love be genuine, 00:06:25.959 --> 00:06:28.480 it comes across as a positive command, 00:06:28.480 --> 00:06:31.439 but in the Greek text, just underneath this English text, 00:06:31.439 --> 00:06:33.120 it's actually a negative command. 00:06:33.120 --> 00:06:35.360 So he uses this very important word. 00:06:35.360 --> 00:06:39.199 He says, let your love be anu pocretes. 00:06:39.199 --> 00:06:43.639 And you can hear probably what that word is 00:06:43.639 --> 00:06:45.399 by switching just one letter, 00:06:45.399 --> 00:06:49.560 because what it says is anu pocretes. 00:06:49.560 --> 00:06:50.519 So you hear that? 00:06:50.519 --> 00:06:54.639 He says, let your love be non-hypocritical 00:06:54.639 --> 00:06:55.879 or without hypocrisy. 00:06:55.879 --> 00:06:58.199 That's literally the word that's being translated here, 00:06:58.199 --> 00:06:59.240 genuine. 00:06:59.240 --> 00:07:02.160 So the ESV has flipped it into a positive command, 00:07:02.160 --> 00:07:04.600 but actually it's a negative command. 00:07:04.600 --> 00:07:07.200 And he's saying, do not love hypocritically. 00:07:07.200 --> 00:07:08.960 That's what he actually says here. 00:07:08.960 --> 00:07:12.240 And so the very first thing he says to us 00:07:12.240 --> 00:07:15.800 is let your love be without hypocrisy. 00:07:15.800 --> 00:07:17.680 And there's a reason for that. 00:07:17.680 --> 00:07:21.280 There's a reason he has to start the sequence on love 00:07:21.280 --> 00:07:24.440 by first saying, do not let your love be hypocritical. 00:07:24.440 --> 00:07:26.640 And that's because our love is hypocritical. 00:07:27.560 --> 00:07:29.240 You know, the very first thing he tells us is that 00:07:29.240 --> 00:07:33.120 we're not loving in the way that we were made to be. 00:07:33.120 --> 00:07:37.800 Even Christians, we don't have true love deep in our depths 00:07:37.800 --> 00:07:40.680 in the ways that God has intended for us. 00:07:40.680 --> 00:07:42.960 And the reason he uses the word hypocrite, 00:07:42.960 --> 00:07:47.439 the word hypocrite is a famous word in our modern English, 00:07:47.439 --> 00:07:51.280 but it comes from a very specific context 00:07:51.280 --> 00:07:53.319 in the ancient world, in the Greek world. 00:07:53.319 --> 00:07:57.079 In the Greco-Roman world, a hypocrite is a play actor. 00:07:57.079 --> 00:08:00.120 It wasn't a negative term really like it is for us today 00:08:00.120 --> 00:08:01.519 at first, it's just a play actor. 00:08:01.519 --> 00:08:03.879 So in the first century and before, 00:08:03.879 --> 00:08:06.519 there are all these stage plays happening 00:08:06.519 --> 00:08:08.519 in the streets, in these cities. 00:08:08.519 --> 00:08:11.360 And the hypocrite is the one who comes out 00:08:11.360 --> 00:08:13.039 and puts a mask over their face. 00:08:13.039 --> 00:08:15.039 You know, you've seen the old parties 00:08:15.039 --> 00:08:17.439 where people hold masks over their face. 00:08:17.439 --> 00:08:20.240 Well, you might have a single actor performance 00:08:20.240 --> 00:08:23.079 and they're putting all these masks up like this 00:08:23.079 --> 00:08:25.519 while they're enacting these great Greek tragedies 00:08:25.519 --> 00:08:28.879 or comedies or whatever it may be, that's the hypocrite. 00:08:28.879 --> 00:08:30.240 And you see what a hypocrite is? 00:08:30.240 --> 00:08:34.199 It's a person who appears one way on the outside 00:08:34.199 --> 00:08:37.480 because of a mask, but you can't see 00:08:37.480 --> 00:08:40.600 what's really going on underneath. 00:08:40.600 --> 00:08:43.879 And so Paul's saying that in our attempts to love, 00:08:43.879 --> 00:08:47.679 there is a division between what we see on the outside 00:08:47.679 --> 00:08:51.759 and loving deeds and what's really going on in the heart, 00:08:51.759 --> 00:08:53.759 what's going on underneath that. 00:08:53.759 --> 00:08:56.240 And he's saying if you don't have both aspects, 00:08:56.240 --> 00:09:00.000 as fundamentally loving, then you don't have real love. 00:09:00.000 --> 00:09:01.720 And so another way to say this, 00:09:01.720 --> 00:09:04.879 let your love be non-hippocritical is just to simply say, 00:09:04.879 --> 00:09:08.240 Paul is saying, do not be fake, be real. 00:09:08.240 --> 00:09:11.679 Don't love in a fake way, you've got to love in a real way. 00:09:11.679 --> 00:09:13.039 And that's incredibly difficult. 00:09:13.039 --> 00:09:16.159 And the reason he gives us this command to start with 00:09:16.159 --> 00:09:18.840 is because that's not us, that's not me, 00:09:18.840 --> 00:09:21.319 that's not who we are fundamentally. 00:09:21.320 --> 00:09:26.320 We do not love rightly by nature of who we have become 00:09:26.960 --> 00:09:29.360 in our rebellion against God. 00:09:29.360 --> 00:09:31.200 And so that's the very first thing. 00:09:31.200 --> 00:09:33.280 He's saying you've got to figure out a way 00:09:33.280 --> 00:09:37.200 to root out the hypocrisy that's underneath your love, 00:09:37.200 --> 00:09:38.080 your attempt to love. 00:09:38.080 --> 00:09:40.920 All right, so the second thing, let's go deeper in now. 00:09:40.920 --> 00:09:43.600 He first tells us that we're fundamentally hypocritical 00:09:43.600 --> 00:09:44.440 in the way we love. 00:09:44.440 --> 00:09:48.080 The second thing he tells us is you've got to go deeper in 00:09:48.080 --> 00:09:51.120 by seeing what makes your love hypocritical. 00:09:51.120 --> 00:09:53.080 So in order to root out this problem, 00:09:53.080 --> 00:09:56.440 we've got to see exactly what is making our love 00:09:56.440 --> 00:09:58.519 this way, hypocritical. 00:09:58.519 --> 00:10:03.240 Now remember the division, the hypocrite, the play actor, 00:10:03.240 --> 00:10:05.560 there's two sides to that person. 00:10:05.560 --> 00:10:08.560 There's what you see, the masked side, 00:10:08.560 --> 00:10:10.279 and what you can't see, what's underneath. 00:10:10.279 --> 00:10:14.000 In other words, Paul is saying when it comes to love, 00:10:14.000 --> 00:10:15.600 there are two sides. 00:10:15.600 --> 00:10:19.159 There's the objective act of love, 00:10:19.159 --> 00:10:23.159 and there's the subjective heart that's doing the loving. 00:10:23.159 --> 00:10:26.079 So there's the person underneath the heart 00:10:26.079 --> 00:10:29.120 that does the loving, but then there's the loving thing 00:10:29.120 --> 00:10:29.959 the person does. 00:10:29.959 --> 00:10:31.519 There's an objective and a subjective. 00:10:31.519 --> 00:10:34.759 There's a loving deed, and there's a heart underneath that 00:10:34.759 --> 00:10:35.919 deed. 00:10:35.919 --> 00:10:37.839 And he's saying what creates hypocritical love 00:10:37.839 --> 00:10:40.279 is when those two things aren't an agreement, 00:10:40.279 --> 00:10:41.959 that you might can love on the outside, 00:10:41.959 --> 00:10:45.079 but you're not really loving deep down in the heart. 00:10:45.079 --> 00:10:46.240 So let's think about that. 00:10:46.240 --> 00:10:48.240 Let's focus on both sides for just a moment. 00:10:48.240 --> 00:10:49.799 First, for just one or two minutes, 00:10:49.799 --> 00:10:53.440 the subjective side, the heart side. 00:10:53.440 --> 00:10:55.840 He's saying to us, very simple, he's 00:10:55.840 --> 00:10:57.879 giving us this simple definition. 00:10:57.879 --> 00:11:01.639 In order to love properly, you need the right kind of heart. 00:11:01.639 --> 00:11:04.440 You've got to be motivated in the right types of ways. 00:11:04.440 --> 00:11:07.120 The reasoning Paul is implicitly giving us 00:11:07.120 --> 00:11:11.360 is that true love is fundamentally selfless, 00:11:11.360 --> 00:11:16.000 that the heart is fundamentally not self-interested 00:11:16.000 --> 00:11:18.080 in any act of love on the outside, 00:11:18.080 --> 00:11:21.040 that that's the condition the heart has to be in for there 00:11:21.040 --> 00:11:23.240 to be true love, real love. 00:11:23.240 --> 00:11:24.800 Now, that's abstract. 00:11:24.800 --> 00:11:26.759 Let's make it concrete. 00:11:26.759 --> 00:11:29.520 Here's some examples. 00:11:29.520 --> 00:11:34.840 You can do the loving thing of telling somebody the truth. 00:11:34.840 --> 00:11:37.680 It's hard sometimes to tell people the truth, 00:11:37.680 --> 00:11:41.360 but you can do the loving thing to tell somebody the truth. 00:11:41.360 --> 00:11:43.240 But in the midst of that, maybe you 00:11:43.240 --> 00:11:47.800 take inward pleasure in their pain. 00:11:47.799 --> 00:11:50.079 You take a little bit of pleasure 00:11:50.079 --> 00:11:53.359 in knowing that you're doing a little bit better than them 00:11:53.359 --> 00:11:54.719 in life. 00:11:54.719 --> 00:11:57.559 We call that, we use the old German term 00:11:57.559 --> 00:12:00.719 for that shot in Freud, taking pleasure in other people's 00:12:00.719 --> 00:12:01.219 pain. 00:12:01.219 --> 00:12:03.039 You do the loving act of telling the truth, 00:12:03.039 --> 00:12:05.039 but underneath it, you're actually 00:12:05.039 --> 00:12:09.000 taking a little bit of pleasure in their suffering. 00:12:09.000 --> 00:12:12.399 You see, there's an objective deed that is good and loving, 00:12:12.399 --> 00:12:16.479 but internally, there's something very self-interested. 00:12:16.480 --> 00:12:19.159 How about this, you do the loving thing of telling somebody, 00:12:19.159 --> 00:12:20.480 on the other hand, they're great. 00:12:20.480 --> 00:12:21.840 You praise them. 00:12:21.840 --> 00:12:24.039 But secretly in your heart, you're 00:12:24.039 --> 00:12:29.080 doing it because you want them to praise you in return. 00:12:29.080 --> 00:12:30.560 And we call that the sin of flattery. 00:12:30.560 --> 00:12:33.320 That's when you do an objectively loving thing 00:12:33.320 --> 00:12:35.800 on the outside, but subjectively, 00:12:35.800 --> 00:12:39.200 it's totally self-interested. 00:12:39.200 --> 00:12:42.039 How about this one? 00:12:42.039 --> 00:12:44.240 You tell somebody in pain around you, 00:12:44.240 --> 00:12:48.759 maybe here in St. C's, man, I'm so sorry that's happening to you. 00:12:48.759 --> 00:12:51.879 I'm going to pray for you. 00:12:51.879 --> 00:12:57.919 And you know subjectively that your prayer life is in shambles. 00:12:57.919 --> 00:13:01.279 And you know that the past 45 times you've said that to somebody, 00:13:01.279 --> 00:13:04.200 you never went and prayed for them. 00:13:04.200 --> 00:13:06.600 And recently, I heard one pastor in the States, Joe Novens, 00:13:06.600 --> 00:13:09.279 and say, I realized at one point in my life, 00:13:09.279 --> 00:13:13.879 I lie most often when I tell people I will pray for them. 00:13:13.879 --> 00:13:16.519 And you see, ultimately, there's a good deed on the outside. 00:13:16.519 --> 00:13:17.399 You're comforting. 00:13:17.399 --> 00:13:19.919 You're saying something so good, ministry driven. 00:13:19.919 --> 00:13:23.840 I will pray for you, but in your heart. 00:13:23.840 --> 00:13:25.399 There's total self-interest. 00:13:25.399 --> 00:13:25.639 Why? 00:13:25.639 --> 00:13:30.000 Because you want to be known as a person who is known 00:13:30.000 --> 00:13:32.519 for praying for other people. 00:13:32.519 --> 00:13:33.080 Right? 00:13:33.080 --> 00:13:33.679 How about this one? 00:13:33.679 --> 00:13:35.080 This one's a little more complex. 00:13:35.080 --> 00:13:37.039 We could go on for a long time. 00:13:37.039 --> 00:13:40.080 This is just me diagnosing myself. 00:13:40.080 --> 00:13:41.279 This one's a little more complex. 00:13:41.279 --> 00:13:45.319 You're a parent, you're a parent who gives yourself away 00:13:45.319 --> 00:13:46.759 to your kids. 00:13:46.759 --> 00:13:49.679 You give and you give and you give. 00:13:49.679 --> 00:13:53.120 You're always giving yourself away to your children. 00:13:53.120 --> 00:13:56.600 But subjectively, deep down in the recesses of your heart, 00:13:56.600 --> 00:14:02.039 the real desire at the bottom is that what's important to you 00:14:02.039 --> 00:14:05.959 is actually being known as a successful parent, 00:14:05.960 --> 00:14:11.360 being known as a person who has kids who have it all together, 00:14:11.360 --> 00:14:14.040 being known and having your identity wrapped up, 00:14:14.040 --> 00:14:17.200 your self-satisfaction completely wrapped up 00:14:17.200 --> 00:14:21.040 in the fact that your family looks good on the outside. 00:14:21.040 --> 00:14:22.879 You're constantly giving yourself away. 00:14:22.879 --> 00:14:24.160 You're serving like crazy. 00:14:24.160 --> 00:14:26.160 You're loving objectively like crazy. 00:14:26.160 --> 00:14:28.280 But deep down in your heart, your reason for that 00:14:28.280 --> 00:14:30.800 is complete self-interest. 00:14:30.800 --> 00:14:33.400 Now, maybe I covered one of yours. 00:14:33.399 --> 00:14:36.240 Maybe I didn't, but we all have them. 00:14:36.240 --> 00:14:38.519 And C.S. Lewis puts it this way. 00:14:38.519 --> 00:14:41.720 He says, love has many faces, many masks, 00:14:41.720 --> 00:14:44.519 that it was the great English poet John Dunn. 00:14:44.519 --> 00:14:47.879 He says, let not our loving kill us. 00:14:47.879 --> 00:14:49.240 And what does he mean by that? 00:14:49.240 --> 00:14:52.559 He's saying, there is a way to love objectively 00:14:52.559 --> 00:14:56.199 that actually makes you more self-interested, 00:14:56.199 --> 00:15:00.240 that drives you in deeper into your idolatry of self-interest 00:15:00.240 --> 00:15:02.399 because your loving, your deeds are actually 00:15:02.399 --> 00:15:05.679 all about being known more and more as a good person, 00:15:05.679 --> 00:15:08.759 as this kind of person, a religious person, a great parent, 00:15:08.759 --> 00:15:11.959 somebody who prays for people, whatever it may be. 00:15:11.959 --> 00:15:13.959 And so there's a division between the subjective 00:15:13.959 --> 00:15:15.319 and object of there. 00:15:15.319 --> 00:15:17.679 And so here's the point, simply this, we'll move on. 00:15:17.679 --> 00:15:20.399 Hypocritical love, says Paul, on the subjective side, 00:15:20.399 --> 00:15:21.639 is just idolatry. 00:15:22.600 --> 00:15:25.159 Ultimately, it's just saying that we do good deeds, 00:15:25.159 --> 00:15:27.039 but really what we're doing in our love 00:15:27.039 --> 00:15:30.679 is worshiping ourselves, wanting to be known as people 00:15:30.679 --> 00:15:32.799 who do great things, who do good things. 00:15:32.799 --> 00:15:34.839 It's self, we have self-centered reasons. 00:15:34.839 --> 00:15:36.959 It's ultimately about me, not you, 00:15:36.959 --> 00:15:38.479 even in the loving things I do. 00:15:38.479 --> 00:15:41.599 So here's the first aspect of Paul's definition of love. 00:15:41.599 --> 00:15:42.439 Very simple. 00:15:43.639 --> 00:15:48.399 True love is selfless giving, selfless. 00:15:48.399 --> 00:15:50.279 Not self-interested, but selfless. 00:15:50.279 --> 00:15:51.879 Self-sacrificial giving, 00:15:51.879 --> 00:15:53.879 where the motivation really is the other person. 00:15:53.879 --> 00:15:55.240 All right, that's the subjective. 00:15:55.240 --> 00:15:58.199 The third thing, now, the object of Paul tells us, 00:15:58.199 --> 00:16:00.120 first, we're not truly loving. 00:16:00.120 --> 00:16:02.080 We have a hypocrisy problem. 00:16:02.080 --> 00:16:03.639 Secondly, to root that out, 00:16:03.639 --> 00:16:06.560 we've got to see that subjectively, 00:16:06.560 --> 00:16:10.879 we've got to lean into selflessness as our motivation. 00:16:10.879 --> 00:16:15.320 The third thing he teaches us here is that love, 00:16:15.320 --> 00:16:18.240 love is love, eh, love is love, 00:16:19.399 --> 00:16:22.560 when it is truly connected to what is good. 00:16:22.560 --> 00:16:24.399 All right, so it's not just the subjective motivation 00:16:24.399 --> 00:16:26.279 that has to be there, but now we've got to think, 00:16:26.279 --> 00:16:28.919 just for a moment, about the object of two. 00:16:28.919 --> 00:16:30.159 And that's exactly what he says. 00:16:30.159 --> 00:16:32.839 You see it in verse nine, B. 00:16:32.839 --> 00:16:36.839 So he tells us first, let your love be non-hypocritical. 00:16:36.839 --> 00:16:38.360 Hate what is evil. 00:16:38.360 --> 00:16:40.879 Literally run away from what is evil. 00:16:40.879 --> 00:16:42.759 Glue yourself to what is good. 00:16:42.759 --> 00:16:43.799 Hold fast to what is good. 00:16:43.799 --> 00:16:45.759 The verb is glue yourself. 00:16:45.759 --> 00:16:48.039 Stick yourself like glue to what is good. 00:16:48.039 --> 00:16:52.360 So he connects love here to the idea of goodness. 00:16:52.360 --> 00:16:53.199 And when he does that, 00:16:53.199 --> 00:16:56.399 he's turning to the objective side of love. 00:16:56.399 --> 00:16:59.199 And fundamentally, he's saying something very simple, 00:16:59.199 --> 00:17:03.159 and it's only this, that real love pursues 00:17:03.159 --> 00:17:06.039 what is truly good for people. 00:17:07.000 --> 00:17:10.039 That to really love somebody objectively, 00:17:10.039 --> 00:17:12.279 you have to do for them, serve them, 00:17:12.279 --> 00:17:15.960 love on them in a way that is actually good for them, 00:17:15.960 --> 00:17:19.119 that actually corresponds to what is good, 00:17:19.119 --> 00:17:23.279 according to the way that God has defined what is good. 00:17:23.279 --> 00:17:26.119 Now, do you see how important it is 00:17:26.119 --> 00:17:27.679 to say that in 2023? 00:17:29.759 --> 00:17:31.879 This is probably the most important little point 00:17:31.879 --> 00:17:36.879 to emphasize today, because this idea that true love 00:17:37.119 --> 00:17:40.679 only happens when you seek what is objectively good 00:17:40.679 --> 00:17:42.959 for another person as God has defined it, 00:17:42.959 --> 00:17:45.039 stands against every instinct that we have 00:17:45.039 --> 00:17:46.000 in the Western world. 00:17:46.919 --> 00:17:47.879 You know, in the Western world, 00:17:47.879 --> 00:17:50.479 we say things like love is love. 00:17:50.480 --> 00:17:55.480 And what we mean by that is love equals simply 00:17:56.759 --> 00:18:01.519 my personal feelings of desire for someone or something, 00:18:01.519 --> 00:18:04.680 my infatuation for someone or something. 00:18:04.680 --> 00:18:07.799 And that means when we say love is love in the modern West, 00:18:07.799 --> 00:18:10.799 it means simply that if you desire something, 00:18:10.799 --> 00:18:12.519 if you desire someone, 00:18:12.519 --> 00:18:15.680 nobody else has the right to question that, 00:18:15.680 --> 00:18:17.000 or to stand against that. 00:18:17.000 --> 00:18:19.440 That means that love fundamentally defined 00:18:19.440 --> 00:18:21.599 in the modern West is simply feeling. 00:18:21.599 --> 00:18:25.599 It's simply feeling deeply, wanting deeply, having cravings. 00:18:25.599 --> 00:18:27.839 That's all that love really means 00:18:27.839 --> 00:18:29.799 in the modern Western world. 00:18:29.799 --> 00:18:32.559 And that means that love simply defined today 00:18:32.559 --> 00:18:36.079 in modern Edinburgh is largely just infatuation. 00:18:36.079 --> 00:18:37.480 It's just simple desire. 00:18:37.480 --> 00:18:38.759 It's emotionally driven. 00:18:38.759 --> 00:18:40.799 Now, you see the problem with that? 00:18:40.799 --> 00:18:44.000 The problem with that is it's defining love 00:18:44.000 --> 00:18:46.200 merely subjectively. 00:18:46.200 --> 00:18:48.640 Subjectively, not objectively. 00:18:49.559 --> 00:18:54.559 The modern world says love is anything that you want. 00:18:54.880 --> 00:18:57.799 A feeling, a craving, a desire, that's love, 00:18:57.799 --> 00:18:59.319 a deep down infatuation. 00:18:59.319 --> 00:19:01.840 You see it saying that you can say that love 00:19:01.840 --> 00:19:03.279 is nothing but your subjectivity. 00:19:03.279 --> 00:19:04.559 It's nothing but your self-interest. 00:19:04.559 --> 00:19:07.400 It's nothing but feeling your feelings. 00:19:07.400 --> 00:19:10.120 Love is simply subjective, never objective. 00:19:11.360 --> 00:19:12.720 And Paul comes along and says, 00:19:12.720 --> 00:19:15.039 no, you don't have love no matter what you want 00:19:15.039 --> 00:19:18.240 in this life, no matter what you crave in this life. 00:19:18.240 --> 00:19:22.119 It is not really loving unless you're seeking 00:19:22.119 --> 00:19:25.960 what is actually good objectively. 00:19:25.960 --> 00:19:28.839 Unless you're pursuing for yourself or for somebody else 00:19:28.839 --> 00:19:32.639 what is truly good as God has defined it. 00:19:32.639 --> 00:19:35.200 Now, don't think that just for a moment, 00:19:35.200 --> 00:19:37.519 don't think that this is just about sexuality. 00:19:39.079 --> 00:19:41.119 You could say something like this, 00:19:41.119 --> 00:19:44.279 I love my country. 00:19:45.919 --> 00:19:49.199 I'm a patriot, I love my country all the way to my bones. 00:19:49.199 --> 00:19:52.959 I have deep, deep desire and craving to be in my country, 00:19:52.959 --> 00:19:54.919 my homeland, you could say something like that. 00:19:54.919 --> 00:19:58.000 And you could say, I'll do anything for her. 00:19:58.000 --> 00:19:59.799 I'll do anything for my country. 00:19:59.799 --> 00:20:01.799 To the neglect of every other country, 00:20:01.799 --> 00:20:05.399 I will fight, I will live, I will do anything 00:20:05.399 --> 00:20:06.559 in service for my country. 00:20:06.559 --> 00:20:09.639 This is what the recent film by Christopher Nolan, 00:20:09.640 --> 00:20:11.560 Oppenheimer is exploring. 00:20:11.560 --> 00:20:13.840 Maybe you've seen a trailer or something for it, 00:20:13.840 --> 00:20:16.880 Oppenheimer about the father of the atomic bomb, 00:20:16.880 --> 00:20:20.400 the US scientist, Oppenheimer, Robert Oppenheimer, 00:20:20.400 --> 00:20:22.440 that created the first atomic bomb 00:20:22.440 --> 00:20:25.920 and it's a film exploring this question. 00:20:25.920 --> 00:20:29.680 Do my feelings, my subjective feelings of affection 00:20:29.680 --> 00:20:33.320 for my home country mean that I have the right 00:20:33.320 --> 00:20:36.480 to drop a weapon of mass destruction on another country? 00:20:36.480 --> 00:20:37.880 It's very complex. 00:20:37.880 --> 00:20:40.680 I don't want to give an answer to it today, 00:20:40.680 --> 00:20:43.040 but you see, it can be about anything. 00:20:43.040 --> 00:20:46.800 And anytime you take mere subjective desire 00:20:46.800 --> 00:20:49.800 and you say, I love what I love, I want what I want, 00:20:49.800 --> 00:20:52.600 infatuation, that's love, that's all we're talking about. 00:20:52.600 --> 00:20:55.240 It can be sexuality, it can be patriotism, 00:20:55.240 --> 00:20:58.000 it can be anything, you can take anything you want 00:20:58.000 --> 00:21:01.520 in that way and turn your subjective desires into a God. 00:21:02.480 --> 00:21:04.880 And Paul is saying, if you do that, you don't have love 00:21:04.880 --> 00:21:09.600 because love is fundamentally grounded only 00:21:09.600 --> 00:21:11.680 when you have selfless giving on the one hand, 00:21:11.680 --> 00:21:14.520 the subjective, and objectively you are pursuing 00:21:14.520 --> 00:21:16.920 what is truly good. 00:21:16.920 --> 00:21:20.880 So he says, let your love be non-hypocritical, hate evil, 00:21:20.880 --> 00:21:23.480 glue yourself to what is good. 00:21:23.480 --> 00:21:25.400 If you're not gluing yourself to the good, 00:21:25.400 --> 00:21:27.560 you don't actually have love. 00:21:27.560 --> 00:21:29.680 You just have infatuation. 00:21:29.680 --> 00:21:32.600 You just have something, some craving that you've made 00:21:32.599 --> 00:21:35.000 into your own little God. 00:21:37.000 --> 00:21:39.679 Let me give you one example we'll move on. 00:21:39.679 --> 00:21:44.079 Verse 9b, love is not love unless it seeks what is good. 00:21:44.079 --> 00:21:45.959 Let me make that concrete for you. 00:21:45.959 --> 00:21:48.559 A wonderful example I saw last week. 00:21:48.559 --> 00:21:51.319 The Colombian president, maybe you saw this in the news, 00:21:51.319 --> 00:21:54.879 the Colombian president last week, Gustavo Petro, 00:21:54.879 --> 00:21:58.119 his son was arrested, his son. 00:21:58.119 --> 00:22:00.359 And his son was charged with multiple accounts 00:22:00.359 --> 00:22:03.199 of narco trafficking, money laundering, 00:22:03.199 --> 00:22:05.759 and a number of other very serious crimes. 00:22:05.759 --> 00:22:07.759 And so the Colombian president's son 00:22:07.759 --> 00:22:10.079 is now facing significant prison time. 00:22:11.479 --> 00:22:15.519 And the president was publicly asked about this, 00:22:15.519 --> 00:22:16.759 and this is what he said. 00:22:16.759 --> 00:22:20.039 He said, I want what's best for my son. 00:22:21.039 --> 00:22:25.359 And I pray that this experience will strengthen his character. 00:22:25.359 --> 00:22:29.639 Now, the modern West wants to say, Gustavo, 00:22:29.640 --> 00:22:30.800 don't you love your son? 00:22:30.800 --> 00:22:31.640 You're the president. 00:22:31.640 --> 00:22:33.520 You can pardon him. 00:22:33.520 --> 00:22:35.040 You can let him go. 00:22:35.040 --> 00:22:37.600 You have the power to do that. 00:22:37.600 --> 00:22:40.720 And Gustavo Petro, I don't know what he believes in, 00:22:40.720 --> 00:22:43.759 but he gets it, that you don't actually have love 00:22:43.759 --> 00:22:46.480 unless you are pursuing what is objectively good. 00:22:46.480 --> 00:22:47.600 And you see what he says? 00:22:47.600 --> 00:22:52.360 He says, I love my son so much that I want him to walk 00:22:52.360 --> 00:22:54.920 through the trial, the fiery trial of justice 00:22:54.920 --> 00:22:59.920 that he deserves, why so that his character may be refined. 00:23:00.480 --> 00:23:02.080 That's love. 00:23:02.080 --> 00:23:03.560 It's subject and object come together. 00:23:03.560 --> 00:23:05.640 Selfless giving of his father, 00:23:05.640 --> 00:23:08.400 pursuing what is truly good objectively for his son. 00:23:08.400 --> 00:23:09.480 You see, that's real love. 00:23:09.480 --> 00:23:11.039 That's what Paul means here. 00:23:11.039 --> 00:23:14.160 All right, finally, and we'll move on to the last point. 00:23:15.440 --> 00:23:18.000 Love, therefore, is selfless affection 00:23:18.000 --> 00:23:19.480 for the ultimate good of another. 00:23:19.480 --> 00:23:21.519 And then the last thing Paul teaches us here 00:23:21.519 --> 00:23:23.440 about the definition of love. 00:23:23.440 --> 00:23:27.680 Lastly, love is not for love's sake. 00:23:27.680 --> 00:23:29.160 All right, very, very quick. 00:23:30.320 --> 00:23:31.960 This Western idea of love, 00:23:33.360 --> 00:23:37.559 this Western idea of love, desire, it's Disney-fied. 00:23:37.559 --> 00:23:40.720 We say that the highest joy in life 00:23:40.720 --> 00:23:44.840 is getting that feeling, that feeling of love. 00:23:44.840 --> 00:23:45.680 All I want is love. 00:23:45.680 --> 00:23:48.400 I want to know love, show me what love is. 00:23:48.400 --> 00:23:49.240 I want to feel love. 00:23:49.240 --> 00:23:50.720 I want to find that special person 00:23:50.720 --> 00:23:53.519 that can finally bring love into my life. 00:23:53.519 --> 00:23:58.519 We actually pursue love, love, the feeling as God. 00:24:00.120 --> 00:24:05.120 And Paul comes here to say that if love is God for you, 00:24:06.000 --> 00:24:09.240 then all you've done is taken the feeling of infatuation, 00:24:09.240 --> 00:24:12.319 a very temporary moment, and made it into your idol. 00:24:13.600 --> 00:24:15.799 And instead, he wants you, the very last point is, 00:24:15.799 --> 00:24:18.680 he wants you to remember the whole of Romans 12 00:24:18.680 --> 00:24:22.680 as you look at this one little verse about love. 00:24:22.680 --> 00:24:25.120 And here's the whole of Romans 12, back to 12, verse one. 00:24:25.120 --> 00:24:25.960 Remember what he said? 00:24:25.960 --> 00:24:27.720 He says, the whole of Romans 12 00:24:27.720 --> 00:24:29.720 is all about how to live the Christian life. 00:24:29.720 --> 00:24:30.560 And here's how you do it. 00:24:30.560 --> 00:24:35.400 He says, live out of or from the mercy of God. 00:24:36.560 --> 00:24:39.680 And he has already defined the mercy of God in Romans 12. 00:24:39.680 --> 00:24:42.840 If you go back, sorry, Romans, Romans five, verse eight, 00:24:42.840 --> 00:24:46.840 he says it like this, God showed his love toward you, 00:24:46.839 --> 00:24:51.399 his mercy in that while you were still a sinner, 00:24:51.399 --> 00:24:52.639 Christ died for you. 00:24:53.639 --> 00:24:56.559 Now, we'll close on that point in just a moment. 00:24:56.559 --> 00:24:57.399 But you see what he's saying? 00:24:57.399 --> 00:25:00.519 He's saying the whole mission of the Christian life 00:25:00.519 --> 00:25:04.079 is to live entirely founded on the fact 00:25:04.079 --> 00:25:06.199 that you have been loved, 00:25:06.199 --> 00:25:09.839 that you've experienced the mercy of God in your life. 00:25:09.839 --> 00:25:11.119 And that means when he says, 00:25:11.119 --> 00:25:12.639 let your love be non-hempocritical, 00:25:12.639 --> 00:25:14.000 he's saying something so important. 00:25:14.000 --> 00:25:17.559 He's saying that you don't truly have love 00:25:17.559 --> 00:25:22.559 unless you are loving for God's sake, not love's sake. 00:25:24.039 --> 00:25:26.640 Now, if you're loving things for your sake, it's not love. 00:25:26.640 --> 00:25:28.680 If you're loving things for another person's sake, 00:25:28.680 --> 00:25:29.759 it's not truly love. 00:25:29.759 --> 00:25:31.680 If you're loving things for love's sake, 00:25:31.680 --> 00:25:32.759 it is not really love. 00:25:32.759 --> 00:25:36.359 That true love is selfless giving 00:25:36.359 --> 00:25:40.859 for the ultimate good of another person for God's sake. 00:25:40.859 --> 00:25:44.659 That it has to be actually directed 00:25:44.659 --> 00:25:46.299 towards the fact that you are loving 00:25:46.299 --> 00:25:48.379 because you want to honor God. 00:25:48.379 --> 00:25:51.639 All right, look, three components to have true love. 00:25:51.639 --> 00:25:53.740 Do you have true love? 00:25:53.740 --> 00:25:55.099 Have you found true love? 00:25:56.259 --> 00:25:59.139 You need the subjective motivation 00:25:59.139 --> 00:26:02.740 of selfless, self-sacrificial giving. 00:26:02.740 --> 00:26:04.000 That's your heart. 00:26:04.000 --> 00:26:06.939 You need the objective pursuit of the true good 00:26:06.939 --> 00:26:08.819 for another person. 00:26:08.819 --> 00:26:13.339 And you need to do it all to honor God who first loved you. 00:26:13.339 --> 00:26:15.379 That's what Paul says, love is. 00:26:16.299 --> 00:26:18.579 Hypocritical love says, me first, 00:26:19.460 --> 00:26:22.460 the need to be seen as moral in the eyes of others, 00:26:22.460 --> 00:26:24.139 to present as a virtuous person, 00:26:24.139 --> 00:26:25.299 but underneath there's really vice, 00:26:25.299 --> 00:26:26.579 that's hypocritical love. 00:26:27.439 --> 00:26:30.700 True love, selfless motivation, 00:26:30.700 --> 00:26:34.299 the good of other truly, all for the sake of God. 00:26:34.299 --> 00:26:38.179 Now, if you're like me, 00:26:38.180 --> 00:26:39.779 you look at all three of those components 00:26:39.779 --> 00:26:43.460 and you say, who will save me from this heart of death? 00:26:46.120 --> 00:26:47.420 Do you love like that? 00:26:48.420 --> 00:26:51.039 Self-sacrificially motivated, 00:26:51.039 --> 00:26:53.180 always desiring the most good 00:26:53.180 --> 00:26:55.380 for the person that you're looking at, 00:26:55.380 --> 00:26:57.340 whoever that might be, 00:26:57.340 --> 00:26:59.779 completely motivated deeply 00:26:59.779 --> 00:27:01.500 by the fact that you want to honor God 00:27:01.500 --> 00:27:02.900 because he first loved you. 00:27:04.259 --> 00:27:05.660 Who loves like that? 00:27:06.660 --> 00:27:08.160 Who's going to save us? 00:27:08.160 --> 00:27:10.420 Now, let's close with this. 00:27:10.420 --> 00:27:13.660 Lastly, how can you find this kind of love? 00:27:13.660 --> 00:27:15.060 How can you love like this? 00:27:15.060 --> 00:27:16.259 Do you have it? 00:27:16.259 --> 00:27:17.800 Do you have this kind of love? 00:27:17.800 --> 00:27:20.540 Now, we're going to spend the next three weeks 00:27:20.540 --> 00:27:24.460 unpacking the ways to love like this in detail. 00:27:24.460 --> 00:27:27.820 Love of the city, love of the church, 00:27:27.820 --> 00:27:28.779 love of ministry, 00:27:28.779 --> 00:27:31.300 and all the little things that come underneath that. 00:27:31.300 --> 00:27:33.980 So all I want to do is close with just two quick things. 00:27:33.980 --> 00:27:35.500 Do you have this love? 00:27:35.500 --> 00:27:39.059 And the first thing you need today, this morning, 00:27:39.059 --> 00:27:40.619 to know that you have this love 00:27:40.619 --> 00:27:45.019 is that to have true love, 00:27:45.019 --> 00:27:46.500 to become a loving person, 00:27:46.500 --> 00:27:48.500 you've got to first see your neediness. 00:27:49.740 --> 00:27:51.240 So if there's anything you want to do today, 00:27:51.240 --> 00:27:52.200 the most important thing to do 00:27:52.200 --> 00:27:54.299 is to desperately see your neediness. 00:27:54.299 --> 00:27:56.940 Now, C.S. Lewis, let me take two minutes 00:27:56.940 --> 00:27:58.380 with C.S. Lewis to make this clear. 00:27:58.380 --> 00:28:00.420 C.S. Lewis, when he writes on love, 00:28:00.420 --> 00:28:04.640 he tells us that we've got to think about two types of love. 00:28:04.640 --> 00:28:07.259 We've been talking about one type of love. 00:28:07.259 --> 00:28:11.100 The very important word that Paul uses here is agape. 00:28:11.100 --> 00:28:14.360 Let your agape, a type of love, God's love, 00:28:14.360 --> 00:28:17.220 gift-giving love, be sincere, be genuine, 00:28:17.220 --> 00:28:18.940 be non-hypocritical. 00:28:18.940 --> 00:28:23.060 But Lewis points out that in order to become a loving person 00:28:23.060 --> 00:28:27.780 like God is loving, gift-giving, sacrificial, 00:28:27.780 --> 00:28:31.300 you need to have another type of love in your life. 00:28:31.299 --> 00:28:36.299 And Lewis calls it need, need love. 00:28:36.539 --> 00:28:39.079 So hang with me for just a moment, need love. 00:28:39.079 --> 00:28:41.460 Let me make it concrete. 00:28:41.460 --> 00:28:45.099 Need love is when you have your little child 00:28:45.099 --> 00:28:48.180 in front of you and they are desperately scared 00:28:48.180 --> 00:28:51.559 and they run to you and jump up in your arms 00:28:51.559 --> 00:28:52.980 and cling to you desperately. 00:28:52.980 --> 00:28:57.980 They have a real need in that moment to be loved, 00:28:57.980 --> 00:29:02.779 to know that you are saying to them as you hug them, 00:29:02.779 --> 00:29:04.900 I love you and I'll protect you. 00:29:06.140 --> 00:29:08.980 And need love, maybe let's make an adult version, 00:29:08.980 --> 00:29:12.460 need love looks like this, you are scared to death 00:29:12.460 --> 00:29:17.460 to confess your sin to a person in your life 00:29:17.740 --> 00:29:19.099 that you care about, 00:29:19.099 --> 00:29:21.220 something you've done against them perhaps. 00:29:22.299 --> 00:29:24.940 And the reason that you're scared is because you're afraid 00:29:24.940 --> 00:29:27.940 that if you tell somebody who you really are 00:29:27.940 --> 00:29:31.799 and what you've really done, that they might not love you. 00:29:32.860 --> 00:29:36.340 You know, if we're all afraid as human beings, 00:29:36.340 --> 00:29:39.980 because our deepest desire is to be known 00:29:39.980 --> 00:29:42.420 all the way to the depths of who we really are, 00:29:42.420 --> 00:29:46.019 even the things we've done that we regret the most 00:29:46.019 --> 00:29:48.940 and at the same time to be loved right through it. 00:29:50.059 --> 00:29:52.820 To be known to the depths and yet loved 00:29:52.820 --> 00:29:54.420 all the way to the sky. 00:29:54.420 --> 00:29:57.460 That's the greatest human need, that's need love. 00:29:57.460 --> 00:29:59.100 God doesn't have that love at all. 00:29:59.100 --> 00:30:01.019 God has no need love. 00:30:01.019 --> 00:30:04.980 He doesn't need our love, but we have it. 00:30:04.980 --> 00:30:07.539 We have it, we need it so badly. 00:30:07.539 --> 00:30:12.340 You know, it's so apparent, people say that if you, 00:30:12.340 --> 00:30:13.779 you know, the reason if you've had a baby 00:30:13.779 --> 00:30:15.660 in the past few years, you know that the doctors 00:30:15.660 --> 00:30:17.779 really emphasize skin to skin contact 00:30:17.779 --> 00:30:19.420 as soon as the baby is born. 00:30:19.420 --> 00:30:21.740 And there's been all these studies done that 00:30:21.740 --> 00:30:26.740 if a baby is fed clothes, but not regularly touched, 00:30:26.740 --> 00:30:28.700 that very likely that they could even die 00:30:28.700 --> 00:30:29.660 from something like that. 00:30:29.660 --> 00:30:32.299 And we have desperate need to be shown 00:30:32.299 --> 00:30:36.099 even when we can't speak or hear properly that we're loved. 00:30:36.099 --> 00:30:37.220 That's who we really are. 00:30:37.220 --> 00:30:42.220 Now, Lewis says this, you can never grow into a person 00:30:42.500 --> 00:30:44.700 that is truly loving like God is loving, 00:30:44.700 --> 00:30:46.299 gift giving, self-sacrificial, 00:30:46.299 --> 00:30:47.420 seeking the good of other people, 00:30:47.420 --> 00:30:50.700 all in the name of God, you can never grow into that. 00:30:50.700 --> 00:30:57.180 And less your need love is fully and truly fulfilled. 00:30:57.180 --> 00:30:59.380 We long to be known all the way to the depths 00:30:59.380 --> 00:31:01.259 and loved all the way to the sky. 00:31:01.259 --> 00:31:02.940 Remember Romans 5, 8. 00:31:04.740 --> 00:31:06.620 Live out of the mercies of God. 00:31:06.620 --> 00:31:08.779 Remember Romans 5, 8. 00:31:08.779 --> 00:31:12.100 Here is the love of God for you, 00:31:12.100 --> 00:31:17.100 that Jesus Christ came to die for a sinner like you. 00:31:17.940 --> 00:31:20.460 Not like you, even you in fact. 00:31:20.460 --> 00:31:21.299 You see what it's saying? 00:31:21.299 --> 00:31:23.019 Jesus Christ came into the world 00:31:23.019 --> 00:31:25.819 because he knew you to the depths. 00:31:25.819 --> 00:31:28.140 He knew everything, he knows everything. 00:31:28.140 --> 00:31:30.980 He knows your secret sins and misdeeds dark 00:31:30.980 --> 00:31:33.380 and yet he loves you to the sky. 00:31:33.380 --> 00:31:37.140 Your need love is fully fulfilled only, only. 00:31:37.140 --> 00:31:39.900 There's no other place, no philosophy, no religion, 00:31:39.900 --> 00:31:43.259 no person, not your spouse, nobody 00:31:43.259 --> 00:31:46.900 that can fulfill your need love like God can. 00:31:46.900 --> 00:31:49.780 And so if you have that need love fulfilled, 00:31:49.780 --> 00:31:51.660 if you've experienced that only then 00:31:51.660 --> 00:31:53.340 has the condition been met 00:31:53.340 --> 00:31:56.500 that you can become a truly loving person. 00:31:56.500 --> 00:31:58.860 The type of love that God gives. 00:31:58.860 --> 00:32:00.380 True agape. 00:32:00.380 --> 00:32:03.820 Some of you were loved well as a child, 00:32:03.820 --> 00:32:05.340 some of you were not. 00:32:05.340 --> 00:32:07.460 Some of you are loved well as adults 00:32:07.460 --> 00:32:08.740 and some of you are not. 00:32:10.460 --> 00:32:12.259 But no one knows you like God does, 00:32:12.259 --> 00:32:13.700 no one can love you like God does, 00:32:13.700 --> 00:32:15.780 no one loves you like God does. 00:32:15.779 --> 00:32:18.980 Nobody can fulfill the need like Jesus Christ has. 00:32:18.980 --> 00:32:21.460 Have you experienced that love? 00:32:21.460 --> 00:32:24.460 Last thing, let me just ask you three questions 00:32:24.460 --> 00:32:25.500 and we'll close. 00:32:25.500 --> 00:32:26.660 Three diagnostics. 00:32:26.660 --> 00:32:29.259 If you've experienced that need based love, 00:32:29.259 --> 00:32:32.339 here's three quick questions to ask, 00:32:32.339 --> 00:32:34.700 well, am I growing in love? 00:32:34.700 --> 00:32:37.299 And this is just a little diagnostic test 00:32:37.299 --> 00:32:39.059 as we step into the next three weeks 00:32:39.059 --> 00:32:41.379 to really think about the ways we're failing 00:32:41.379 --> 00:32:43.779 to be loving or growing in love. 00:32:43.779 --> 00:32:45.259 Here they are, very fast. 00:32:45.259 --> 00:32:48.980 Are your sins, since the time that you came to faith, 00:32:48.980 --> 00:32:52.140 you saw your need love fulfilled in Jesus Christ, 00:32:52.140 --> 00:32:54.980 are your sins getting bigger to you? 00:32:57.379 --> 00:32:59.700 More heinous, more significant to you 00:32:59.700 --> 00:33:01.660 while the mercy of God is getting bigger 00:33:01.660 --> 00:33:03.859 to you proportionally as well. 00:33:03.859 --> 00:33:08.859 In other words, if you're growing in love, 00:33:08.980 --> 00:33:12.460 it means that you're growing in the recognition 00:33:12.460 --> 00:33:15.420 of how much you've been loved 00:33:15.420 --> 00:33:17.340 in the midst of your unloveliness. 00:33:18.340 --> 00:33:19.700 And if that's happening to you, 00:33:19.700 --> 00:33:22.380 if you are constantly realizing how significant 00:33:22.380 --> 00:33:25.860 the mercy of God, God's love is to you, 00:33:25.860 --> 00:33:29.019 then one of the things that will happen to you over time 00:33:29.019 --> 00:33:32.460 is the sins of your past will be uglier 00:33:32.460 --> 00:33:36.019 and the mercy of God will be all the more sweet. 00:33:36.019 --> 00:33:38.779 Both of those things will grow proportionally. 00:33:38.779 --> 00:33:40.340 That's the first test. 00:33:40.339 --> 00:33:42.740 Are you seeing the mercy of God, the love of God 00:33:42.740 --> 00:33:46.019 for your need-based love more and more and more sweetly 00:33:46.019 --> 00:33:47.699 than when you first came to faith? 00:33:47.699 --> 00:33:49.139 All right, second test. 00:33:49.139 --> 00:33:53.059 Do you find then joy in giving up your time, 00:33:53.059 --> 00:33:55.740 your money, your resources, using your gifts, 00:33:55.740 --> 00:33:58.259 losing things in this life for the sake 00:33:58.259 --> 00:34:00.619 of the objective good of other people? 00:34:00.619 --> 00:34:02.299 Do you find more and more over time 00:34:02.299 --> 00:34:06.539 that your joy increases the more you love people objectively, 00:34:06.539 --> 00:34:08.099 seeking their good? 00:34:08.099 --> 00:34:10.460 All right, if you find that, 00:34:10.460 --> 00:34:13.019 then that means that you're probably growing 00:34:13.019 --> 00:34:17.380 in God-given agape, God-like love over time. 00:34:17.380 --> 00:34:19.659 All right, third and finally. 00:34:19.659 --> 00:34:23.219 Do you find yourself over time growing in compassion 00:34:23.219 --> 00:34:25.739 and care for those in need around you, 00:34:25.739 --> 00:34:28.860 those least like you and those people 00:34:28.860 --> 00:34:31.179 who regard themselves as your enemy? 00:34:33.420 --> 00:34:34.739 Last thing is this. 00:34:34.739 --> 00:34:38.779 Love, remember, is the selfless affection 00:34:38.779 --> 00:34:41.259 for the ultimate good of another person, 00:34:41.259 --> 00:34:44.419 all for the sake of God, because he's loved you, right? 00:34:45.979 --> 00:34:48.419 And when you've experienced the love of God, 00:34:48.419 --> 00:34:52.899 one of the things it has to do is destroy your pride. 00:34:52.899 --> 00:34:57.899 It has to create a person who says, 00:34:58.059 --> 00:35:00.259 I can never look down on other people. 00:35:01.339 --> 00:35:03.259 I know how much I've been loved. 00:35:03.260 --> 00:35:05.940 It helps you to break through and love people 00:35:05.940 --> 00:35:08.900 that aren't like you, love people that even count themselves 00:35:08.900 --> 00:35:10.140 as your enemy. 00:35:10.140 --> 00:35:12.380 You have the power, Christianity is the only religion, 00:35:12.380 --> 00:35:13.820 I think that truly gives you the power 00:35:13.820 --> 00:35:15.820 to love every type of person, 00:35:15.820 --> 00:35:18.140 simply because you know how much you've been loved. 00:35:19.980 --> 00:35:23.500 And when you get this, you can hold two things together. 00:35:24.300 --> 00:35:27.860 The last word here, you can love everyone, 00:35:27.860 --> 00:35:30.860 no matter who they are or what they've done, 00:35:30.860 --> 00:35:33.740 no matter how heinous, you can truly love them 00:35:33.740 --> 00:35:35.340 because they are made in the image of God. 00:35:35.340 --> 00:35:37.500 You can love every kind of person on the one hand. 00:35:37.500 --> 00:35:39.579 And on the other hand, you can at the same time 00:35:39.579 --> 00:35:41.740 say to that person or say to the world, 00:35:41.740 --> 00:35:45.579 the modern West, I love people so much 00:35:45.579 --> 00:35:48.260 that I want for them what's truly good. 00:35:48.260 --> 00:35:49.980 And that means sometimes I have to say no 00:35:49.980 --> 00:35:51.260 to the things they're chasing after. 00:35:51.260 --> 00:35:53.660 You can hold those things together at the same time. 00:35:54.860 --> 00:35:56.860 Do you want to grow and love? 00:35:56.860 --> 00:35:59.059 One pastor said it like this, 00:35:59.059 --> 00:36:02.659 love is something you do only if it's first someone 00:36:02.659 --> 00:36:03.659 that you've met. 00:36:05.860 --> 00:36:08.460 Have you really seen the love of God in your life, 00:36:08.460 --> 00:36:10.659 the love of God in Christ for you? 00:36:10.659 --> 00:36:13.179 That's the secret as we seek to grow and love 00:36:13.179 --> 00:36:14.380 in this next month. 00:36:14.380 --> 00:36:15.460 Let's pray together. 00:36:15.460 --> 00:36:19.340 Father, we ask that you would teach us to love. 00:36:20.340 --> 00:36:21.940 And we ask today for somebody here 00:36:21.940 --> 00:36:25.539 that they would experience the love of God, 00:36:25.539 --> 00:36:27.860 the love of Jesus Christ, 00:36:27.860 --> 00:36:32.860 that we would be able to say today, Lord, 00:36:32.980 --> 00:36:35.140 more than ever, our sins, there are many, 00:36:35.140 --> 00:36:36.620 your mercy is more. 00:36:36.620 --> 00:36:38.820 So show us the depths of who we really are, 00:36:38.820 --> 00:36:41.180 that our sins would be bigger 00:36:41.180 --> 00:36:44.980 so that we can all the more say that your love is big. 00:36:46.180 --> 00:36:49.420 So make your love so real to us today, we ask, 00:36:49.420 --> 00:36:52.140 so that we might become lovers of people 00:36:52.140 --> 00:36:55.059 and lovers of the city and lovers of ministry 00:36:55.059 --> 00:36:56.340 and all these things. 00:36:56.340 --> 00:36:57.900 So we pray this in Christ's name. 00:36:57.900 --> 00:37:26.900 Amen.