The scripture reading comes from Deuteronomy chapter 5.
Please follow along in your bulletin.
And Moses summoned all Israel and said to them,
Hear, O Israel, the statutes and the rules that I speak in your hearing today,
and you shall learn them and be careful to do them.
I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery.
You shall have no other gods before me.
You shall not make for yourself a carved image or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above,
or that is on earth beneath, or that is in water under the earth.
You shall not bow down to them or serve them.
For I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God.
Visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me,
but showing steadfast love to thousands of those who love me and keep my commandments.
You shall not take the name of the Lord in vain,
for the Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes his name in vain.
Observe the Sabbath day to keep it holy, as the Lord your God commanded you.
Six days you shall labor and do all your work,
but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the Lord your God.
On it you shall not do any work,
you or your son or your daughter or your male servant or your female servant
or your ox or your donkey or any of your livestock or the sojourner who is within your gates.
That your male servant and your female servant may rest as well as you.
You shall remember that you were a slave in the land of Egypt,
and the Lord your God brought you out of there with a mighty hand and an outstretched arm.
Therefore, the Lord your God commanded you to keep the Sabbath day.
Honor your father and your mother as the Lord your God commanded you,
that your days may be long and that it may go well with you in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.
You shall not murder, and you shall not commit adultery,
and you shall not steal, and you shall not bear false witness against your neighbor,
and you shall not covet your neighbor's wife,
and you shall not desire your neighbor's house,
his field or his male servant or his female servant,
his ox or his donkey or anything that is your neighbor's.
This is the word of God.
Thank you, Annabelle.
Are we on?
Hello? Can you hear me?
Brilliant.
Great. Thank you so much, guys.
We're just so blessed by you as a church family.
Just Etienne doesn't know how blessed he is yet to be part of Watermark,
but we know how blessed we are,
and just want to thank you so much for just walking with us right from,
well, right from before Etienne was even an idea.
So thank you so much.
Let me just pray for us.
Father, you want to speak to us.
Open our ears to hear you.
Open our hearts to be receptive to what you want to say to us.
I pray, Lord, that you would come and speak with power into our lives.
Show us yourself this morning, I pray.
Teach us to be a community which lives under your word
and loves your word and delights to obey your word.
Father, I pray just take whatever I say now,
and I pray that your spirit would just really bring what you want to say into people's hearts, Father.
Father, so we love you.
In Jesus' name.
Amen.
Great.
So for those of you who are,
this is your first time here,
or whether you're at the community center,
or whether you're in the overflow,
or whether you're here,
we've been going through a series in the Ten Commandments.
And we've come to that place in the Ten Commandments
where things begin to get a little bit more sensitive.
Where we come to areas where some of us may have real struggles and real hurts
and real areas where we wrestle with some of the things that God is saying in his word.
And so what we want to do,
like before I even share what we're going to talk about,
which is do not commit adultery today.
And in your bulletin, by the way,
there's a mistake.
It's not do not murder.
It is do not commit adultery.
But there may be areas which are going to be just touching on things
which we can't share everything in this sermon.
But we want to walk with you.
So if there are things which actually come up from this,
please don't just run away.
Please come and see myself or Kevin,
Sylvie, Eugenia, one of the staff,
because we really want to walk with you through these issues
to be the people that God calls us to be.
So in 1631, there was a Bible that was printed.
It was called the Wicked Bible
because the printers missed out one word.
It was the word not in this verse.
It read, thou shalt commit adultery.
Now, very quickly, it got taken off the shelves.
But incredibly, it became very popular as a Bible.
Everyone wanted to get their hands on it.
Because people, though they knew that adultery was wrong in that culture,
they secretly hoped that God would somehow accommodate
to their kind of guilty pleasures in life.
And I think that typifies a lot of in our society,
this kind of tear between things that we think are maybe wrong,
but actually the desires that we have.
I mean, last year, you know, canto pop star Andy Ho,
you know, Sammy Chang's husband,
he was condemned widely for getting caught cheating.
But I heard quite a lot of people going very sympathetically
that when he apologised, he just gave in to desire,
saying, oh, yeah, I understand.
It's kind of natural, you know.
Chimpanzees do it.
So why can't we?
And until 1971, I mean, Stanley Ho just died a couple of weeks ago,
but polygamy was legal in Hong Kong.
Even today, if you are, many people do business in mainland China,
and there is a wife or a mistress or someone in mainland,
and then here you have someone else.
And if the spouse is accepting of that, what's the problem?
Why has God got such a big deal with this?
Well, what we want to do is have a look at this topic,
and we want to talk about what is marriage.
We want to talk about what is adultery.
Then why is it such a big deal,
and then how do we find freedom to obey this command?
Okay, so that's where we're going.
First of all, what is marriage?
Marriage in Scripture is not a cultural man-made institution.
It is a God-given, exclusive, lifelong commitment
between one man and one woman,
united together in a one-flesh relationship,
with a new identity,
which is in some way patterned and modeled
after God's exclusive covenantal commitment to his people.
And sex within that is the joyful self-giving of yourself to your spouse
within that marriage covenant,
primarily to deepen your sense of union and oneness together,
and then secondarily for pleasure and reproduction,
if biology allows.
In other words, marriage and sex are gifts from God,
but they are deeply spiritual signposts pointing beyond themselves
to a greater reality of the nature and character of God himself.
So just take the Ten Commandments.
We've said before that they're actually like a big wedding ceremony.
This is a relational covenant between God and his people.
And they've got promises.
They've got promises to be faithful to one another.
And so throughout Scripture, from this point, and you move on,
God keeps showing himself to be a faithful husband to his people.
Let me, a couple of verses.
Isaiah 54 says,
For your maker is your husband.
The Lord of hosts is his name.
Ezekiel 16.
This is an amazing passage where God describes his relationship with his people
like somebody who's picked up a dirty, abandoned, ugly, unloved girl
from the side of the road, and he's brought them to himself.
And rather than just using her to meet his own desires,
what he does is his heart is to restore her, to beautify her, to honor her.
And so it says this.
It says,
About Israel, God's people,
your fame spread among the nations on account of your beauty
because the splendor I had given you had made your beauty perfect.
Do you see what he's saying?
God's about purifying, cleansing, beautifying, restoring people,
and restoring us into the glorious image bearers that he made us to be.
You know, he made us to be beautiful and glorious.
And his love towards that end is steadfast.
That means it's not just a kind of dutiful,
okay, we've got to kind of stay together for the kids kind of love.
That's not God's love.
God's love is he rejoices over his people with singing.
It's a long-haul, promise-keeping, engaged, passionate commitment to his people.
And marriage is a reflection of that.
You know what the sex symbols of the Bible are?
You know, the kind of romantic ideal that the Bible brings you.
It's not like a steamy one-night stand that Hollywood would show you.
It's actually a couple who have been married for 60 years,
hand in hand, faithfully looking into each other's eyes
through all the ups and downs they've been through.
And at the end of it, with this glowing passion,
saying to one another,
you know that I love you.
And the other person turns and says, yeah, I know.
Because I've had 60 years of experiencing that.
That's what the Bible's reflection of God's,
just a tiny reflection of his faithful, passionate love.
That's what marriage is meant.
So what is adultery then?
Well, the seventh commandment here is specifically referring
to a married man or woman sleeping with someone
who is not your wife or husband.
It is breaking a promise with your body.
You know, there's other laws about,
deals with other areas of sex outside of marriage.
But this one is particularly about unfaithfulness
to your marriage covenant.
And so one author says it's the social equivalent
of breaking the first command to have no other gods.
See, the most common image,
do you know what the most common image for idolatry
when Israel worships other gods in the Old Testament?
The most common image is adultery.
Just one example, Jeremiah 3 says,
like a woman unfaithful to her husband,
so have you been unfaithful to me, O Israel, my people.
You see, since all the commandments flow out of that first one
to have no other gods and to worship God alone,
then to break the seventh command
is to break the first command.
In other words, physical adultery is idolatry.
And idolatry is spiritual adultery against God.
Okay?
Because both of them, both idolatry,
worshipping other gods,
and adultery are like con artists,
offering you products and saying,
the grass is greener on the other side,
just look over the fence.
And it offers you what is not yours to take,
and it promises you life.
Just take the forbidden fruit.
You know, it's like this.
Your marriage is going through a rough patch.
You feel unheard.
You feel unloved.
You feel disrespected, bored.
And then someone comes along,
and you just click with.
And it seems that everything you wanted,
the respect, the approval,
all those other things you wanted,
they seem to offer it.
More than your spouse does.
And if what you do is you'll say,
well, let me see what that grass is like
on the other side.
Your heart is not just turning away
from your spouse to fulfill you first.
Sorry, it's not just turning towards that person.
It's turning away from a promise
that you've made to your spouse.
And it's turning away from a promise
you've made to God.
So you're being unfaithful to God,
and you're being unfaithful to your spouse.
And you know where there's a culture
where promises are broken,
it creates a culture of fear,
suspicion, and distrust.
So when a pastor or a believer
says, God is faithful and he loves you,
but then you hear that he's been sleeping
with his secretary,
what happens?
Don't many people start questioning
the credibility of Christianity?
They lose faith in God or in people
because we know that actually our marriages
are supposed to be a reflection
of showing us something about God.
But what if you're single?
Okay, you go, hey, I'm not married.
I'm not even tempted in this area.
Are you free from worrying about this command?
Somebody gave the right answer.
Yes.
No, because Jesus takes this command.
I'm glad you got there.
Otherwise, you can just walk out
if you're single right now.
Jesus takes this command
and he goes,
hey, it's fine.
Don't worry about that, guys.
It's like, this is New Testament.
No, he doesn't say that.
He goes, he actually makes it,
like he ramps it up even harder,
if I can put it like that.
He goes,
you've heard it said,
you shall not commit adultery.
Okay?
We've just heard that.
But I say to you
that anyone who looks at a woman
with lustful intent
has already committed adultery
with her in his heart.
Thank you, Jesus.
You just made things much harder.
Because he's saying,
if you follow the breadcrumb trail
of adultery
back to its source,
there you'll find
a heart condition
of coveting.
Say, coveting?
How do you get that?
Well, the word lustful intent
here is the same word
that is used in Romans 7
to describe the 10th commandment,
don't covet.
You see, adultery
is not just about
who you're jumping into bed with.
It's not just about marriage.
Adultery is about desiring
someone or something
that is not yours to own.
It's about,
it's about sexually looking
at someone
or looking at someone
for your own sexual gratification.
You know, it's not wrong
to appreciate somebody's beauty.
That's a gift from God.
But it's the second look.
It's the lingering look.
It's the movie in your mind
which takes appreciation
for someone made in God's image
and making them
into a piece of property
for your own personal pleasure.
It's actually failing
to trust God
to meet your sexual desires
in his way
and instead taking matters
into your own hands.
That's what adultery is
in Scripture.
So we've seen
what marriage is,
that faithful,
passionate,
beautifying love.
We've seen
what adultery is.
And now I want to think,
why is that a problem?
Because some people go,
okay, yeah, that's fine,
but why is that an issue?
Well,
let's think back
to what we said
about even sex.
And here's just
a couple of things.
Firstly,
we can use people,
adultery is using people,
not serving people.
If sex is actually
meant to be
about self-giving,
not just about
self-taking,
do you know what?
Sex is actually
service.
It's the best kind
of service
you can imagine,
but it's service
to somebody else.
It's actually
about deepening
your relationship,
your one flesh
relationship.
And though it's
meant to be pleasurable
in different ways,
it's primarily
serving your spouse.
Which actually,
by the way,
means that
you can actually
get sex wrong
even if you're married
and you're doing it
within marriage.
Because you can be
unfaithful
by making sex
all about yourself.
So either,
I see people doing this
in a couple of ways.
One is,
you either withhold
sex from your partner
because you just
don't feel in the mood
for like
a lot of time.
or you actually
demand sex
because you are
in the mood
like all the time.
And both of those
get it wrong
because what happens
instead of us
talking about it
and thinking
how can we serve
each other,
what happens
it becomes
this weapon of war
rather than
an instrument of love.
Doesn't it?
We use,
not serve.
I mean just
at the heart
of adultery,
whether it's physical
or at heart level,
is actually
a tyrannical dictator
sitting on his throne
not to serve people
but to get there
to use them
to meet their own desires.
You know,
think of pornography.
What's pornography?
Pornography
is non-relational,
non-committed sex.
It's using
another human being
made in the image
of God
not to honor them
but as an object
for your own
personal pleasure.
Isn't it?
You know,
it's Friday night,
you're tired,
you're bored,
you're stressed,
you're lonely
and porn promises
you an escape.
It promises you life.
It promises to fulfill you
with just a click or two.
Just like, you know,
in the Garden of Eden
the serpent comes
to Eve
and says,
well,
God knows
if you eat of this
your eyes
will be opened.
That's what porn promises
and if you click
you're saying to God
you as my lover
are not enough for me.
I don't trust you
to provide for me
so I'm going to have
to steal for myself.
Do you know,
pornography
is actually robbery.
I don't know
if you've ever
thought of that.
It's grabbing for yourself
what is not rightfully yours.
Has anyone
looked at pornography
and afterwards
been inspired
to serve
and lay down
your life
for other people?
Anyone?
I don't think so.
No,
it leaves you shameful.
It leaves you
feeling dirty inside.
Why?
Because every time
you watch porn
what happens
you're committing
a theft
stealing the dignity
and value
of broken people
when God
created you
saved you
to serve
to restore
and to beautify
people.
Like if you just
followed the scandals
of the world's
largest porn site
porn hub
have you seen that?
The scandals
of rape
and child abuse.
Can we not see
that what we do
in the dark
has ripples effect
all around the world?
We use people
not serve people
that's why God
says don't.
But also
what about
another area
what about
the fantasy world
in your mind?
You see
watching rom-coms
which leads you
to just fantasize
about a man
or woman
who will just
complete you.
You know
daydreaming
about a celebrity
or someone
who you know
who's going to
become yours
but you know
they'll never
really be yours.
Who's at the center
of your fantasies?
Me.
I'm on the throne
and I want
a whole load
of beautiful servants
to come and serve
my desires.
That's what we do
with fantasy.
That's why we're using
not serving.
God says don't.
But then he also says
it's adultery
is slavery
not freedom.
You know
the Ten Commandments
starts
with
God saying
I've brought you
out of slavery
and then he gives you
the commands.
In other words
what he's saying is
I've opened
the prison door
for you to walk out
into freedom
through obedience
to these commands.
To be a people
who love
like I love.
But then
adultery says
no no
stay in the prison
and keep the door shut
so nobody will find out
that you're there.
Stay hidden
or maybe justify yourself
by saying it works.
But what do you think
the prison is
that adultery
brings you?
It's those desires
that we have
for approval
for pleasure
for control.
just think about
sex outside of marriage.
You know
a previous pastor
of mine
he said this
he said
I've married
a lot of couples
and
you know what
many of them
were Christian
and many of them
would say
yeah we know
the Bible's teaching
that sex outside
of marriage
is wrong
but they've still
been sleeping together
for all the time
and
why are they doing that?
He would ask them
it's not because
they lacked information.
they all knew
the right information.
It's because
there was a desire
in their heart
where they feared
losing the other person
or they wanted
to just gratify
their own desires
and they would justify it
saying things like
I have physical needs.
But it was amazing
when it came
for some of these people
when it came to
an incredible work opportunity
how these so-called
physical needs
suddenly
they didn't need it
for months
because that work opportunity
came and they were
totally sold out.
Why?
Because it wasn't
primarily about biology
it was slavery
to an idol
which could be replaced
by another idol
which came along
and seemed to satisfy
them more.
But God says
he gives you
this command
because he wants
to set us free
from the addictive
nature of our desires
to just self-gratify
so that we're free
to know how to love people
and be patient
and to be able
to not just get
instant gratification
all the time.
There's a freedom
in that
and you know
without a marriage
covenant commitment
what we're doing
is we're providing
for sex
we're providing
a picture
of a God
who could walk out
at any moment.
A God who's just
interested
in playing with his people
for a bit of temporary
pleasure
when actually
the God we serve
says I want to free you
and I want to
beautify you.
So adultery
it uses
not serves
adultery
it can enslave
not bring freedom
last thing
adultery
can promise life
but bring death.
Do you know
when self is at the center
when we worship
pleasure
control
or acceptance
above God
it doesn't give life
it destroys.
You know the story
of David and Bathsheba
in the Bible?
it destroyed
his adultery
tore his family apart
and you know
I've got a friend
one of my best friends
growing up
really close family
and the father
was just this amazing
family man
and then when my friend
went to university
suddenly he came out
and said
I'm leaving
for another woman
and they discovered
that actually
for seven or eight years
this had been going on
and none of them
had known
and it just
tore them apart
and some of you
know that sense
of being torn apart
some of you
feel that pain
whether it's from
your parents
or whether in your
own marriage
and if marriage
is supposed to be
this mirror
reflecting the beauty
of God
adultery is like
taking a hammer
to that mirror
and shattering it
and how many people
do I know
right now
who are suspicious
of marriage
or commitment
because of the fear
of betrayal
adultery
it serves
so it doesn't
use to serve
it uses
it doesn't free
it enslaves
it doesn't bring life
it brings death
but how do we get
free from this
how do we get
is there any hope
for this
in what is a very
highly sexualized
world that we live in
Ray Ortlund
who is a pastor
in the states
he preached a sermon
on the book
of 1 John
and he came
to this incredible
promise
in 1 John
he says this
if we walk
in the light
as he
Jesus
is in the light
we have fellowship
with one another
and the blood
of Jesus
his son
cleanses us
from all sin
and then he paused
and he looked
the congregation
in the eye
and he said
I am a sexual
sinner
and he paused
for a very long
time
remember the congregation
said this
at that moment
in that interval
of time
I wondered
if perhaps
I was witnessing
the last day
of our church
in Manuel
Nashville
looking back
now
I believe
it's the first
day
of the new
Emmanuel
he continued
I'm not
cheating on my
wife
I'm not
looking at porn
but I am
a sexual
sinner
if all the
thoughts that
went through
my head
this week
were put up
on the screens
this morning
none of you
would want
to be my
friend
brothers and
sisters
that's true
of me
and I think
that's probably
true of most
of us
but Jesus
wants to
bring
not
condemnation
you see
sexual sin
hides in the
dark like a
cockroach
but Jesus
wants to bring
it out into
the light
but don't
we often
fear
like a
cockroach
getting exposed
that God
if we come
out into
the light
he's going
to crush
us
or we're
going to
get rejected
by other
people
because if
you knew
what I was
really like
inside
you wouldn't
want to
be my
friend
so I
want to
speak to
those of
us who
know that
we've
actually
fallen in
this area
maybe once
maybe many
times
you know
there's this
incredible
verse in
the book
of Hebrews
Hebrews 7
25
it says
this
Jesus
is able
to save
to the
uttermost
those who
draw near
to God
through him
since he
always
lives to
make
intercession
for them
shame
wants you
to hide
in the
closet
shame
wants you
to think
there's no
hope
shame
and
don't we
often think
that Jesus
we know
Jesus is
forgiving
we know
Jesus is
loving
but we
think
there's
this little
corner
at the
end
where his
love and
his
forgiveness
doesn't
reach
this kind
of dark
area in
our hearts
it doesn't
quite get
there
but this
verse says
Jesus
saves us
to the
uttermost
you know
do you know
what that
means
our sin
may be
to the
ends
of the
earth
his
grace
and
forgiveness
is to
the end
of the
universe
he saves
to the
uttermost
and he
doesn't just
say he
forgives
to the
uttermost
and then
leaves us
to try
and sort
it out
ourselves
and work
on
he says
he saves
to the
uttermost
that
means
he can
save you
from your
porn
habit
that
means
he
died
to set
you
free
from the
fantasies
that you
have
that
means
he's
given
everything
to enable
even the
adultery
in your
marriage
for God
to work
through
that
and to
save
you
in that
you see
he's in
the
restoration
business
he's in
the
beautifying
business
the
cleansing
business
because that's
the kind
of husband
he is
you see
some of you
may have
experienced
the pain
of adultery
in the past
and what's
happened even
in your marriage
you're still
together but
actually you've
you've kind of
settled for a
second rate
functional marriage
for the sake
of the kids
or whatever
Jesus didn't
die for that
Jesus died
to even save
your marriage
in that area
to bring beauty
out of the ashes
in that
because that's
the kind of
husband he is
that's to those
who have fallen
what about to
those who you
know you're
tempted
you know maybe
you started an
emotional bond
with a non-believer
or somebody else
and you know
it's not healthy
like don't wait
until you're
exposed
like Ashley
Madison
we need to
be a community
where we take
this so
seriously
you know what
Jesus says
he says
if your eye
causes you to
sin
just put some
eye shadow
on it
is that what
he says
no he says
if your eye
causes you to
sin
like rip it
out
like be
merciless
with that
thing
get ruthless
with it
you see
we often go
like yeah
but it's only
a coffee
yeah but it's
only a thought
yeah but it's
only a movie
but Jesus says
no no no
you run
like cancel
your Netflix
account
like delete
that phone
number
like text
others when
you're tempted
do whatever
it takes
not even a
hint of it
because you see
desire in the
heart looks
like a kitten
to start with
but you will
keep feeding
it it will
become a lion
and eat you
alive
and what we
need in this
church
is groups
of guys
and girls
who don't
just do
these kind
of vague
accountability
things where
we go
oh have you
looked at
porn this
week
any last
yes
okay do
better next
week
we don't
need that
we need
people who
are willing
to commit
to each
other
to be
there
night and
day for
each other
to help
each other
to walk
in the
freedom
that God
Jesus
has brought
for us
you know
people who
are going to
help each
other to
stare down
shame
and to
say I'm
not going
to live
under you
shame
Jesus
has cleansed
me
people who
are going
to walk
with each
other
and help
each other
to go
when temptation
promises us
things we're
going to go
no I'm not
going to buy
from your
promises
because your
promises are
fake
because in
Jesus I have
my acceptance
in Jesus there
is approval
my freedoms in
him he's my
faithful lover
and even if
I have to
wait maybe
I feel lonely
maybe I feel
bored
my God
says he
will satisfy
my desires
with good
things and
I will
trust him
that's the
kind of people
we need to
be for each
other
those who
fall and
those who
tempted
what about
for those
who you
know you've
been really
hurt in
this area
I want to
just appeal
to you
don't walk
alone
I've said
it before
but I want
to say it
again
don't walk
alone in
this
you see
what shame
does
shame
wants you
to stay
silent
or to live
with the
what ifs
bitterness
wants to
harden
or numb
or make
cynical
your heart
pain
wants you
just to
escape
through
busyness
or all
kinds of
other
relationships
but Jesus
comes to
you
and he
weeps
with you
Jesus
suffers
with you
and he
says this
to you
I know
what betrayal
is like
it cost
me my
life
it cost
me my
life
I understand
and so
he says
I will
never
forsake
you
because
I died
to save
you
to heal
you
to the
uttermost
Ephesians
5
says this
and I'm
going to
close
with this
husbands
love your
wives as
Christ
loved the
church
and gave
himself up
for her
that he
might present
the church
to himself
in splendor
without spot
or wrinkle
that she
might be
holy
and without
blemish
that's the
kind of
people
Jesus
died
to make
us
let's run
to him
let's be
honest with
him
let's come
out into
the light
and let him
just work
in our
hearts
today
I want
to just
take a
minute
to
pray
I'm
going to
ask the
band
to come
up
but you
know where
you are
right now
I'm going
to ask
some of
us
afterwards
to actually
come up
for prayer
that's a
big move
because you
may feel
the sense
of oh
what other
people think
listen we
are all
sexual sinners
in this
room
Jesus
wants to
bring us
out into
the light
and to
bring healing
so I
want you
just to
do business
with God
maybe you
need to
repent
of where
you've
actually
just been
minimizing
areas of
your life
maybe you
need to
just open
your heart
up to
get healing
for him
to speak
into your
heart
just take
a minute
now to
allow him
to just
minister
to you
be real
with him
father we
are broken
people
we desperately
need you
but thank
you that you
are the one
who satisfies
our desires
with good
things
I pray for
those who
right now
really feel
this struggle
and the
wrestle
Lord
I pray
would you
come to
them
I pray
that they
wouldn't leave
here today
without talking
to someone
about it
I pray
Lord
that we
would be
a church
where it's
the safest
place to
be sinners
and sufferers
but Lord
that in this
place you
would just
bring healing
and restoration
to us
father just work
in our lives
show us that
you are more
satisfying than
anything else we
chase after
because you're
a better lover
in Jesus name
Amen
you