WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:08.800 The irony is not lost on me that I have been asked to teach on a passage that says don't be a teacher. 00:00:09.439 --> 00:00:17.320 And the irony is also not lost on me that I've been asked to speak on speaking and I'm a very chatty person. 00:00:18.039 --> 00:00:27.699 But when I came before the Lord with this passage, which is quite stark and challenging, 00:00:27.699 --> 00:00:35.079 I did feel God speak to me, oddly enough, about the Green Cross Code. 00:00:35.640 --> 00:00:38.159 Can anybody remember the Green Cross Code? 00:00:39.259 --> 00:00:44.480 What were the four things that the Green Cross Code told you to do? 00:00:45.719 --> 00:00:51.239 Stop, look, listen, think. 00:00:52.100 --> 00:00:53.659 Think was the last one. 00:00:53.659 --> 00:01:03.739 And so my word this morning is based on those four tenets of the Green Cross Code. 00:01:04.019 --> 00:01:11.579 And as I unpack that with the Lord, obviously the Green Cross Code was a campaign to teach road safety 00:01:11.579 --> 00:01:17.259 aimed at preventing pedestrians from being hit by cars when crossing the road. 00:01:17.260 --> 00:01:28.500 And I just felt the Lord say to me that actually James is teaching us how to avoid car crashes in our relationships, 00:01:29.160 --> 00:01:32.160 collisions that are caused by the tongue. 00:01:33.460 --> 00:01:39.240 James describes the tongue as a small but powerful part of the body, 00:01:39.239 --> 00:01:44.299 like a bit, a small bit in a large horse's mouth. 00:01:44.399 --> 00:01:47.500 It always amazes me how huge horses are. 00:01:48.019 --> 00:01:49.640 And I always think, oh, they're lovely. 00:01:49.780 --> 00:01:52.159 But when I get near one, they're quite scary. 00:01:52.859 --> 00:01:59.439 But a little bit in their mouth can steer them where the rider needs them to go. 00:01:59.439 --> 00:02:03.959 The same with a little rudder on a huge ship. 00:02:04.359 --> 00:02:08.379 That little rudder can turn that ship wherever it needs to go. 00:02:08.379 --> 00:02:15.319 And a tiny spark is able to start a very destructive fire. 00:02:16.280 --> 00:02:25.340 These are vivid metaphors with very strong images of the power of the tongue to steer our lives 00:02:25.340 --> 00:02:31.079 and to destroy relationships if they're not kept under control. 00:02:31.900 --> 00:02:35.659 And James talks a lot about what we use our tongue for. 00:02:35.659 --> 00:02:45.900 And he says in it, and David read it so well, and actually emphasised this part that no man is able to tame the tongue. 00:02:46.539 --> 00:02:49.879 And yet that's exactly what James is asking us to do, isn't it? 00:02:49.979 --> 00:02:51.439 To tame our tongue. 00:02:52.180 --> 00:02:53.939 So I brought that to the Lord. 00:02:53.939 --> 00:03:00.500 I'm like, what's the point of putting someone in there and then asking us to do it when you've told us we can't? 00:03:00.500 --> 00:03:04.500 And I felt the Lord speak to me. 00:03:06.020 --> 00:03:17.180 It struck me that the reason the tongue is so difficult to control is because the tongue is actually subject to our heart. 00:03:17.180 --> 00:03:22.099 We know this because the Lord tells us himself. 00:03:22.879 --> 00:03:29.760 For example, in Matthew, the Lord tells us that the mouth only speaks what the heart is full of. 00:03:29.759 --> 00:03:40.479 The Lord told his disciples that it's the things that come out of a person's mouth that come from the heart. 00:03:40.979 --> 00:03:43.359 They're the things that defile a person. 00:03:44.000 --> 00:03:46.879 Not what we put in, what we allow out. 00:03:46.879 --> 00:03:57.000 And so I realised that actually, if we're looking at taming our tongue, what we really need to do is work on our heart. 00:03:57.879 --> 00:04:04.340 We need to make sure that our hearts are clean and pure and soft before the Lord. 00:04:04.340 --> 00:04:20.199 And this is where I believe the Lord said we can do this by using those tenets of the Green Cross Code to stop, look, listen and think. 00:04:21.100 --> 00:04:27.899 And the title I was given was Speaking First versus Thinking First. 00:04:29.280 --> 00:04:30.500 I'm a speaker. 00:04:30.500 --> 00:04:37.920 I do think, but I think in private, in public I speak. 00:04:38.459 --> 00:04:41.100 Some people speak to think. 00:04:41.879 --> 00:04:43.899 Other people think to speak. 00:04:44.920 --> 00:04:47.240 And I'll unpack that in a short while. 00:04:49.100 --> 00:04:59.300 So the thinking part of this sermon is what we need to do to guard our heart, 00:04:59.300 --> 00:05:06.060 to keep our heart clean, which then automatically affects how we use our tongue. 00:05:07.079 --> 00:05:13.420 And in order to get to the thinking part, we need to stop, look and listen. 00:05:14.580 --> 00:05:21.100 The reason we need to stop is, I mean, it's quite obvious really, isn't it? 00:05:21.139 --> 00:05:22.680 It's a very simple word. 00:05:22.680 --> 00:05:29.139 We need to stop before we just open our mouth and blurt everything that, you know, comes into our head. 00:05:29.819 --> 00:05:32.060 And Proverbs 17 tells us, 00:05:32.060 --> 00:05:40.420 Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongue. 00:05:40.420 --> 00:05:48.420 So in the heat of the moment, whether it's coming out of, you know, a heated emotion, 00:05:48.720 --> 00:05:52.840 or whether it's just you wanting to give your opinion to someone, 00:05:53.160 --> 00:05:57.840 who perhaps doesn't even want your opinion, and may not have even asked it in the first place, 00:05:58.200 --> 00:06:02.360 it's really good practice to just stop and think, 00:06:02.360 --> 00:06:06.900 Do I need to speak at this moment in time? 00:06:08.500 --> 00:06:12.060 Ecclesiastes tells us that there is a time to speak, 00:06:12.259 --> 00:06:15.800 but it also tells us that there is a time to be silent. 00:06:17.080 --> 00:06:22.600 So I just want to encourage all of us to keep that 10 second rule, 00:06:22.680 --> 00:06:24.319 they say, don't they, count to 10. 00:06:24.319 --> 00:06:29.779 And just hold your tongue before you blurt something out that might cause damage, 00:06:30.300 --> 00:06:33.120 because once you've said it, you can't take it back. 00:06:33.759 --> 00:06:38.500 Something that will cause you regret and pain to the other person. 00:06:39.759 --> 00:06:46.139 What we need to remember is that the power of life and death are in the tongue. 00:06:47.300 --> 00:06:50.899 And what we're aiming to do is use our tongue to create life. 00:06:50.899 --> 00:06:58.819 And if we stop first, that would just give us that little bit of space to assess, 00:06:59.159 --> 00:07:02.060 Is what I'm about to say the right thing? 00:07:03.519 --> 00:07:05.419 Whilst you're holding your tongue, 00:07:06.459 --> 00:07:10.839 take the time to just take a second look at the situation. 00:07:12.099 --> 00:07:13.379 So this is look. 00:07:14.139 --> 00:07:18.859 Just check whether you have a correct understanding of the situation 00:07:18.860 --> 00:07:21.500 and the circumstances you find yourself in 00:07:21.500 --> 00:07:26.280 and what's actually happening around you in the person's life. 00:07:27.879 --> 00:07:31.879 So me and my husband have been speaking a lot lately about 00:07:31.879 --> 00:07:37.020 how it's easy to take offence at something someone else has said, 00:07:37.360 --> 00:07:41.439 but what you can't actually see, or perhaps you don't know, 00:07:41.860 --> 00:07:44.900 is that they're speaking from a place of pain. 00:07:44.899 --> 00:07:47.819 They might not be meaning to offend you, 00:07:47.919 --> 00:07:49.959 but they're speaking out of their own pain. 00:07:50.699 --> 00:07:53.339 If we stop and think for a moment 00:07:53.339 --> 00:07:56.759 and then look and assess that situation again, 00:07:57.000 --> 00:07:59.979 that could save a lot of heartache for a lot of people. 00:08:00.319 --> 00:08:04.199 If we look and we just realise, actually, they're hurting. 00:08:05.179 --> 00:08:09.019 Or it could be even something as simple as, 00:08:09.239 --> 00:08:12.219 you come into church, you say hello to someone, 00:08:12.220 --> 00:08:14.060 and they don't say hello back. 00:08:14.160 --> 00:08:15.540 And instead of getting offended, 00:08:16.000 --> 00:08:18.620 you might not have noticed that they've just stubbed their toe, 00:08:19.020 --> 00:08:19.940 that they're hurting, 00:08:20.460 --> 00:08:23.640 and it just hasn't entered their head to respond to you. 00:08:24.440 --> 00:08:30.320 Obviously, it goes from something tiny to huge circumstances 00:08:30.320 --> 00:08:33.480 that can cause big rifts in families, 00:08:33.779 --> 00:08:35.680 in churches, in workplaces. 00:08:35.679 --> 00:08:39.000 And if we're able to just take that step back, 00:08:39.399 --> 00:08:42.939 to stop before we add our two pennies worth, 00:08:43.479 --> 00:08:47.239 to look at the situation again and consider all the factors, 00:08:47.459 --> 00:08:49.779 that might change the way we respond. 00:08:51.839 --> 00:08:58.199 Remember that nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight. 00:08:58.639 --> 00:09:00.399 He is always looking. 00:09:00.399 --> 00:09:05.459 Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him 00:09:05.459 --> 00:09:08.919 to whom we must give account, Hebrews says. 00:09:10.600 --> 00:09:15.100 It's easy to assume that it's always the other people 00:09:15.100 --> 00:09:17.720 that will have to give account for the things they've said 00:09:17.720 --> 00:09:18.860 that have hurt us. 00:09:19.439 --> 00:09:23.480 But we have to remember that we are under God's watchful eye as well, 00:09:23.519 --> 00:09:25.079 and we will also give account. 00:09:25.080 --> 00:09:29.879 So when we've stopped and looked at the situation afresh, 00:09:30.360 --> 00:09:32.900 then I want to encourage us all to listen. 00:09:34.060 --> 00:09:39.120 We so often want to have the first word and the last word, don't we? 00:09:40.320 --> 00:09:41.879 I've got four children. 00:09:42.780 --> 00:09:44.920 A couple of them are very much like me 00:09:44.920 --> 00:09:46.560 and want to have the last word. 00:09:46.879 --> 00:09:49.100 So there's a lot of talkers in our house. 00:09:49.100 --> 00:09:57.120 But James advises us that everyone should be quick to listen and slow to speak. 00:09:58.659 --> 00:10:00.620 That's in James chapter 1. 00:10:00.920 --> 00:10:04.259 It's like he's setting up the whole premise of his book. 00:10:04.940 --> 00:10:08.100 And I'm sure that you've heard the saying before, 00:10:08.200 --> 00:10:11.300 that God gave us two ears and one mouth 00:10:11.300 --> 00:10:15.399 to remind us that we should listen twice as much as we speak. 00:10:15.399 --> 00:10:23.319 If we listen, we not only listen to the things that we've been able to observe happening, 00:10:23.480 --> 00:10:27.179 but we listen to the heart of the other person and the situation. 00:10:27.679 --> 00:10:30.939 But we can also listen to the Spirit of God 00:10:30.939 --> 00:10:36.079 and see what God wants to say in a circumstance and in a situation. 00:10:36.840 --> 00:10:38.699 What do you want to say, Lord? 00:10:38.779 --> 00:10:40.639 What word do you want to bring? 00:10:40.639 --> 00:10:47.580 Even a rebuke from the Lord is encouraging and loving and gentle. 00:10:51.399 --> 00:10:57.439 We are wise if we choose to listen first. 00:10:57.440 --> 00:11:02.540 And so lastly, we think. 00:11:03.080 --> 00:11:05.580 If we've stopped and looked and listened, 00:11:06.020 --> 00:11:09.820 what we're actually doing is we're giving ourselves time to think. 00:11:10.060 --> 00:11:13.620 Think before we rush in and think before we speak. 00:11:14.640 --> 00:11:21.020 And the thing I said at the beginning about some people speak to think, 00:11:21.220 --> 00:11:23.000 some people think to speak. 00:11:23.000 --> 00:11:30.179 What I mean by that is that some people speak before they think 00:11:30.179 --> 00:11:32.899 and they're doing their thinking while they're speaking, 00:11:33.279 --> 00:11:34.159 which is like me. 00:11:34.259 --> 00:11:35.860 I'm a verbal processor. 00:11:36.399 --> 00:11:39.620 So I barely have a thought in my head 00:11:39.620 --> 00:11:42.320 unless it's actually come out of my mouth first. 00:11:42.639 --> 00:11:44.559 And I've heard myself say it. 00:11:44.919 --> 00:11:47.539 And then sometimes I'm like, oh yeah, that's what I think. 00:11:47.860 --> 00:11:50.440 And other times I'm like, I don't think that at all. 00:11:50.519 --> 00:11:51.700 What did I say that for? 00:11:51.700 --> 00:11:55.780 But I have to hear myself say it first. 00:11:56.740 --> 00:11:58.120 Other people are the opposite. 00:11:58.420 --> 00:12:01.480 They think before they speak. 00:12:01.680 --> 00:12:04.180 And weirdly enough, I'm married to one of those. 00:12:04.560 --> 00:12:06.180 We're completely opposite. 00:12:08.259 --> 00:12:11.160 And it's different for each person. 00:12:11.740 --> 00:12:13.560 So the speakers like me, 00:12:14.020 --> 00:12:17.759 what you often find is that you're speaking out your thoughts 00:12:17.759 --> 00:12:20.340 and you're adjusting your thoughts as you're speaking. 00:12:20.340 --> 00:12:24.180 And that's quite confusing for the people you're speaking to. 00:12:24.639 --> 00:12:28.800 So Nigel will say to me, but you said, and I'll be like, but that's not, I didn't mean it. 00:12:28.860 --> 00:12:30.780 I was just working it out myself. 00:12:30.779 --> 00:12:36.360 And then for me and for people like me, the opposite can be frustrating. 00:12:36.360 --> 00:12:42.799 People who think things through to the death before they'll actually commit and speak. 00:12:43.000 --> 00:12:44.740 That can be really frustrating. 00:12:45.500 --> 00:12:48.879 And frustrating for the person that is like that. 00:12:48.879 --> 00:12:52.580 Because by the time they've got all their thoughts together, 00:12:53.179 --> 00:12:57.759 the people like me have got bored and fed up of waiting and moved on in the conversation. 00:12:58.480 --> 00:13:00.519 And so the thinkers get lost. 00:13:00.519 --> 00:13:06.799 And Nigel's always saying to me, you need to speak in smaller sections so that I can, 00:13:07.159 --> 00:13:13.460 I know when I can interject because, you know, I'll talk about 20 things in one go 00:13:13.460 --> 00:13:16.360 and he's still thinking about the first thing. 00:13:16.360 --> 00:13:21.600 So we have to really learn how to communicate with each other, 00:13:21.759 --> 00:13:26.879 how to allow each other that time and space, 00:13:26.879 --> 00:13:33.320 not only to be who we are, but to take into account who the other person is as well. 00:13:34.460 --> 00:13:39.620 Obviously, you don't get opportunity to do that in every single relationship you have. 00:13:39.620 --> 00:13:46.700 But to be aware of those things helps us in the way we use our tongue. 00:13:48.080 --> 00:13:53.200 Because what it's doing mainly is addressing the issues of our heart. 00:13:53.940 --> 00:13:56.519 So this conversation isn't all about me. 00:13:56.799 --> 00:14:00.360 This conversation needs to make room for the other person as well. 00:14:00.360 --> 00:14:12.360 Whichever we are, it's always good and wise to think before speaking, 00:14:12.820 --> 00:14:15.279 at least enough to check the following. 00:14:16.580 --> 00:14:22.480 The word think is obviously spelt T-H-I-N-K. 00:14:22.480 --> 00:14:28.860 So ask yourself, is what I'm about to say true? 00:14:30.360 --> 00:14:31.720 Is it helpful? 00:14:33.300 --> 00:14:34.940 Is it inspiring? 00:14:36.159 --> 00:14:37.539 Is it necessary? 00:14:38.659 --> 00:14:39.940 Is it kind? 00:14:41.279 --> 00:14:43.940 And in case you hadn't realised, that spells the word think. 00:14:45.519 --> 00:14:47.019 T, is it true? 00:14:47.940 --> 00:14:52.399 Proverbs tells us, the Lord detests lying lips, 00:14:53.180 --> 00:14:55.899 but he delights in people who are trustworthy. 00:14:55.899 --> 00:14:59.939 It's really easy to exaggerate, isn't it? 00:14:59.959 --> 00:15:02.319 Just to embellish a story a little bit. 00:15:02.919 --> 00:15:07.179 So the other week I was in college and I was telling a girl, 00:15:08.980 --> 00:15:13.340 oh, I spent all day Saturday working on an essay. 00:15:14.259 --> 00:15:19.100 And I just immediately felt this check in my spirit. 00:15:19.100 --> 00:15:22.620 And I stopped and I said to her, that is a lie. 00:15:24.120 --> 00:15:29.120 I said, I actually worked till about 11.30 in the morning. 00:15:29.420 --> 00:15:31.060 But I had been up at five. 00:15:31.460 --> 00:15:34.040 So I had done a good chunk of work. 00:15:34.379 --> 00:15:36.899 And it kind of felt like all day to me. 00:15:37.320 --> 00:15:38.620 But I thought about it. 00:15:38.639 --> 00:15:42.580 And I thought by quarter to 12, I was down in the kitchen having a cup of tea. 00:15:42.659 --> 00:15:43.379 I'd finished. 00:15:43.379 --> 00:15:45.980 And I said to her, that was a lie. 00:15:46.059 --> 00:15:46.779 I'm so sorry. 00:15:47.019 --> 00:15:48.100 I didn't work all day. 00:15:48.159 --> 00:15:49.460 I worked till about half 11. 00:15:49.659 --> 00:15:51.559 And I felt the need to confess. 00:15:52.340 --> 00:15:56.539 And just those little things I've started to be aware of, 00:15:56.600 --> 00:15:59.379 ways that we think, oh, you know, we're not lying. 00:16:00.240 --> 00:16:02.720 But we're just, we're not actually telling the truth. 00:16:02.720 --> 00:16:13.740 And obviously, the extreme of that is spreading rumours and gossip and stuff that is not yours to tell. 00:16:14.620 --> 00:16:17.940 So ask yourself, is it true what I'm about to say? 00:16:18.040 --> 00:16:20.440 Or is it just your version of events? 00:16:21.840 --> 00:16:22.840 Is it helpful? 00:16:24.759 --> 00:16:29.700 Proverbs also tells us, a gentle answer turns away wrath. 00:16:29.700 --> 00:16:33.440 But a harsh word stirs up anger. 00:16:34.560 --> 00:16:39.140 Is what you're about to say helpful in itself? 00:16:39.560 --> 00:16:42.620 And is the way that you're saying it helpful? 00:16:43.120 --> 00:16:48.780 If you're able to tell the truth, which may be quite challenging, 00:16:49.560 --> 00:16:52.460 but if you're able to say it in a gentle way, 00:16:53.160 --> 00:16:55.940 the Bible tells us that turns away wrath. 00:16:55.940 --> 00:17:02.260 But a harsh word just stirs up anger in the person that you're speaking to. 00:17:03.000 --> 00:17:04.700 So ask yourself, is it true? 00:17:04.900 --> 00:17:05.660 Is it helpful? 00:17:06.519 --> 00:17:08.279 And is it inspiring? 00:17:09.980 --> 00:17:11.600 We read in Proverbs, 00:17:11.820 --> 00:17:15.120 a word fitly spoke and in due season 00:17:15.120 --> 00:17:20.100 is like apples of gold in settings of silver. 00:17:20.640 --> 00:17:23.120 That's such beautiful imagery. 00:17:23.119 --> 00:17:26.959 Apples of gold in settings of silver. 00:17:28.299 --> 00:17:29.639 That's inspiring. 00:17:30.259 --> 00:17:30.979 That imagery. 00:17:32.039 --> 00:17:35.439 Is what you're about to say inspiring to somebody? 00:17:35.599 --> 00:17:38.500 Because the word says that your word, 00:17:38.719 --> 00:17:41.079 if it's right and appropriate 00:17:41.079 --> 00:17:43.939 and in due season for that person, 00:17:44.299 --> 00:17:46.299 then that's exactly what it will be like, 00:17:46.359 --> 00:17:49.739 like giving them apples of gold in settings of silver. 00:17:49.740 --> 00:17:52.960 Is what you're about to say true, 00:17:53.160 --> 00:17:54.539 helpful, inspiring? 00:17:55.259 --> 00:17:56.519 Is it necessary? 00:17:58.660 --> 00:18:00.079 Proverbs tells us, 00:18:00.220 --> 00:18:03.079 whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue 00:18:03.079 --> 00:18:05.720 keeps himself out of trouble. 00:18:06.920 --> 00:18:09.059 That's such good advice, isn't it? 00:18:09.059 --> 00:18:13.539 It's so easy to get yourself into trouble 00:18:13.539 --> 00:18:15.460 by the things that you say. 00:18:16.179 --> 00:18:19.059 I've got two daughters and two sons 00:18:19.059 --> 00:18:21.679 and the oldest daughter and the youngest son 00:18:21.679 --> 00:18:22.519 are very similar. 00:18:22.940 --> 00:18:23.899 They're like their dad. 00:18:24.119 --> 00:18:24.839 They're thinkers. 00:18:25.539 --> 00:18:29.159 They weigh up a situation before they say anything 00:18:29.160 --> 00:18:32.740 and they really make good, 00:18:32.960 --> 00:18:34.980 wise judgments about when it's better 00:18:34.980 --> 00:18:36.140 to just keep quiet. 00:18:37.140 --> 00:18:39.759 The middle son and daughter are like me. 00:18:40.779 --> 00:18:44.960 They're extrovert socialites 00:18:44.960 --> 00:18:47.240 who want to talk all the time 00:18:47.240 --> 00:18:52.040 and won't shut up for anything. 00:18:52.039 --> 00:18:54.960 So the older daughter, 00:18:55.339 --> 00:18:56.299 she's always saying, 00:18:56.420 --> 00:18:58.139 oh, the younger one's your favourite. 00:18:58.779 --> 00:19:00.399 And I'm trying to teach her, 00:19:00.559 --> 00:19:01.659 she isn't at all, 00:19:01.980 --> 00:19:03.779 but the younger one has the wisdom 00:19:03.779 --> 00:19:06.279 to know when to just back off. 00:19:07.339 --> 00:19:08.799 Whereas the other one, 00:19:09.200 --> 00:19:12.240 she has to have the last word all the time. 00:19:12.619 --> 00:19:14.480 And because she's very similar to me, 00:19:14.639 --> 00:19:16.639 I want to have the last word. 00:19:16.640 --> 00:19:19.500 So we go at each other 00:19:19.500 --> 00:19:21.640 and I try to teach her, 00:19:21.700 --> 00:19:22.740 it's just wisdom. 00:19:23.440 --> 00:19:25.640 Truly she's just learnt the wisdom to say, 00:19:26.000 --> 00:19:26.520 do you know what? 00:19:26.540 --> 00:19:28.880 I can tell her mum's not in the right mood 00:19:28.880 --> 00:19:29.920 for me to ask her that. 00:19:30.000 --> 00:19:31.660 So I'm just going to go back to my room 00:19:31.660 --> 00:19:33.380 and I'll ask her at a later date. 00:19:34.680 --> 00:19:37.300 Is it necessary what you're about to say 00:19:37.300 --> 00:19:39.480 or would holding your tongue 00:19:39.480 --> 00:19:41.100 just keep you out of trouble? 00:19:42.960 --> 00:19:45.000 And lastly, is it kind? 00:19:45.000 --> 00:19:48.000 Proverbs tells us, 00:19:48.180 --> 00:19:51.400 anxiety weighs down the heart, 00:19:51.980 --> 00:19:54.720 but a kind word cheers it up. 00:19:55.839 --> 00:19:58.019 There are so many times 00:19:58.019 --> 00:20:01.279 that we see people weighed down with anxiety 00:20:01.279 --> 00:20:04.759 and it's really easy to feel irritated 00:20:04.759 --> 00:20:06.619 by someone else's anxiety 00:20:06.619 --> 00:20:08.200 because when they're anxious, 00:20:08.480 --> 00:20:11.779 they're not behaving toward you 00:20:11.779 --> 00:20:13.359 the way you want them to. 00:20:13.359 --> 00:20:17.339 But instead of being irritated with them, 00:20:17.899 --> 00:20:20.240 how beautiful would it be 00:20:20.240 --> 00:20:22.299 to just find a kind word 00:20:22.299 --> 00:20:24.740 to lift some of that anxiety off them, 00:20:25.240 --> 00:20:27.459 a kind word to cheer their heart. 00:20:29.139 --> 00:20:30.679 So as we stop 00:20:30.679 --> 00:20:33.639 and just weigh up the situation, 00:20:33.979 --> 00:20:35.539 looking at what's going on, 00:20:35.939 --> 00:20:38.359 listening for what the Holy Spirit 00:20:38.359 --> 00:20:40.819 might want to say in a situation, 00:20:40.819 --> 00:20:43.599 that creates us time to think, 00:20:44.200 --> 00:20:45.799 is what I'm about to say 00:20:45.799 --> 00:20:46.359 true, 00:20:46.980 --> 00:20:47.559 helpful, 00:20:48.200 --> 00:20:48.960 inspiring, 00:20:49.639 --> 00:20:50.220 necessary 00:20:50.220 --> 00:20:51.559 and kind. 00:20:52.879 --> 00:20:54.099 And as we do that, 00:20:54.500 --> 00:20:56.339 what we're automatically doing 00:20:56.339 --> 00:20:58.679 is checking the state of our heart. 00:20:59.639 --> 00:21:01.500 When we don't do those things, 00:21:01.639 --> 00:21:03.899 it's easy to let all the other stuff 00:21:03.899 --> 00:21:05.119 come flowing out. 00:21:05.480 --> 00:21:06.039 The bitterness, 00:21:06.039 --> 00:21:06.920 the anger, 00:21:07.139 --> 00:21:07.740 the jealousy, 00:21:08.039 --> 00:21:08.700 the resentment, 00:21:09.099 --> 00:21:10.000 the frustration, 00:21:10.279 --> 00:21:11.259 the tiredness. 00:21:11.920 --> 00:21:13.480 That's what comes out 00:21:13.480 --> 00:21:14.659 of the heart, 00:21:15.740 --> 00:21:17.579 causes the mouth to speak 00:21:17.579 --> 00:21:19.720 damaging and hurtful words 00:21:19.720 --> 00:21:22.659 and destroys our own life. 00:21:23.359 --> 00:21:25.519 Because in that passage in James, 00:21:25.899 --> 00:21:27.899 that's what James talks about, 00:21:28.079 --> 00:21:30.460 that the person who can't control 00:21:30.460 --> 00:21:31.460 their own life 00:21:31.460 --> 00:21:32.039 defiles, 00:21:32.039 --> 00:21:32.700 defiles, 00:21:33.000 --> 00:21:34.539 the person who can't control 00:21:34.539 --> 00:21:35.399 their own tongue 00:21:35.399 --> 00:21:37.359 defiles their own life 00:21:37.359 --> 00:21:40.539 as well as potentially destroying 00:21:40.539 --> 00:21:41.639 and damaging others. 00:21:42.839 --> 00:21:45.180 So I just leave that challenge 00:21:45.180 --> 00:21:46.440 with all of us 00:21:46.440 --> 00:21:50.680 that in wanting to tame our tongue, 00:21:51.480 --> 00:21:52.779 let's look honestly 00:21:52.779 --> 00:21:55.539 at God in our heart 00:21:55.539 --> 00:21:59.440 and thinking on the things 00:21:59.440 --> 00:22:00.619 that are in our heart, 00:22:00.619 --> 00:22:02.099 allowing the good stuff 00:22:02.099 --> 00:22:02.879 to come out 00:22:02.879 --> 00:22:04.179 that then affects 00:22:04.179 --> 00:22:06.059 the way we use our tongue 00:22:06.059 --> 00:22:07.219 for the better 00:22:07.219 --> 00:22:08.939 to build up, 00:22:09.179 --> 00:22:09.939 to edify 00:22:09.939 --> 00:22:11.219 and to encourage 00:22:11.219 --> 00:22:11.859 one another 00:22:11.859 --> 00:22:12.739 in the Lord 00:22:12.739 --> 00:22:14.539 and not only each other 00:22:14.539 --> 00:22:15.459 but the people out 00:22:15.459 --> 00:22:16.279 in our world 00:22:16.279 --> 00:22:17.479 and in our lives 00:22:17.479 --> 00:22:20.399 like the Lord does for us.