WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.819 Thank you, you may be seated. 00:00:06.820 --> 00:00:11.179 Well, what a joy this is. 00:00:11.540 --> 00:00:17.519 ! This is something that we have all been looking forward to for a long time. 00:00:17.519 --> 00:00:25.439 And it is a joy for this day to have arrived where we can come and celebrate together Hillary's ordination to the priesthood. 00:00:25.799 --> 00:00:33.899 And I would like for us to reflect just a little bit this evening on another different kind of ordination, 00:00:34.299 --> 00:00:39.859 which is the ordination, we might call it, of Peter, the Apostle Peter. 00:00:39.859 --> 00:00:47.159 And if we were to ask, when was Peter's ordination to ministry, 00:00:47.560 --> 00:00:54.560 most of us would probably say it was following Peter's confession of Jesus as the Christ, as the Messiah. 00:00:55.119 --> 00:01:00.120 And Jesus responds to Peter that on him and on his confession, 00:01:00.120 --> 00:01:08.019 this is the rock on which Jesus will build his church and the gates of hell will not stand against it. 00:01:09.859 --> 00:01:15.140 And I would say as far as ordination sermons go, it is hard to top that one. 00:01:17.459 --> 00:01:23.480 We might wonder, what was going through Peter's mind when he heard this? 00:01:23.579 --> 00:01:29.620 Because we all know that when we begin to discern Jesus' call in our lives, 00:01:29.739 --> 00:01:34.700 we naturally begin to think and dream about the kind of impact that we might have. 00:01:34.700 --> 00:01:39.760 What was going through Peter's mind when he heard that kind of comment from Jesus about the kind of impact? 00:01:39.859 --> 00:01:41.439 That he might have. 00:01:41.819 --> 00:01:46.920 But we naturally do that when we reflect on what God is calling any of us to. 00:01:48.560 --> 00:01:56.719 I am old enough to remember back in the day when I was a child, 00:01:56.879 --> 00:02:04.460 Billy Graham would preach crusades in cities and they would televise these at night in the evenings. 00:02:04.459 --> 00:02:07.419 Each night of the crusade it would be on TV. 00:02:07.519 --> 00:02:10.979 And I don't know what this says about what kind of child I was, 00:02:11.060 --> 00:02:16.919 but I would watch those Billy Graham crusades every single night that they were on. 00:02:17.419 --> 00:02:21.620 And then we had a next door neighbor, an elderly lady, 00:02:21.620 --> 00:02:27.599 who would report to my mother that I would come to her backyard where she had a swing set and a slide. 00:02:27.599 --> 00:02:34.460 And I would climb to the top of that slide, stand there, and I would preach a small sermon. 00:02:37.060 --> 00:02:43.319 And I would sing one stanza of Just As I Am. 00:02:43.319 --> 00:02:49.060 I would invite people to come forward and give their lives to Jesus. 00:02:49.539 --> 00:02:53.459 And then she said, you could hear me say under my breath, hundreds are coming. 00:03:01.859 --> 00:03:08.500 One of the joys of ordaining Hillary to the priesthood tonight is having been able to walk with her 00:03:08.500 --> 00:03:11.019 in her discernment journey over these last number of years. 00:03:11.020 --> 00:03:16.680 And what's true in Hillary's case is in fact true for every single one of us 00:03:16.680 --> 00:03:19.800 when we're discerning the things that God is calling us to. 00:03:19.900 --> 00:03:26.700 And that is, it's important that we name the things, the dreams, the hopes that God has given us. 00:03:26.820 --> 00:03:33.320 And at the same time, to remember that some of those dreams can be interwoven 00:03:33.320 --> 00:03:38.240 with incorrect or misplaced assumptions. 00:03:38.240 --> 00:03:44.620 Peter's confession that Jesus was the Christ, it was technically correct. 00:03:46.300 --> 00:03:52.520 But we also know that at the same time, he failed to understand just what kind of Messiah Jesus was going to be. 00:03:52.700 --> 00:03:57.680 Failed to understand that he was going to be a suffering Messiah, not a Davidic freedom fighter 00:03:57.680 --> 00:03:59.400 overthrowing the Roman authorities. 00:03:59.660 --> 00:04:00.680 That's what Peter thought. 00:04:00.680 --> 00:04:06.540 And our own lives are often that way. 00:04:06.659 --> 00:04:09.500 We dream about the things that God is calling us to. 00:04:09.580 --> 00:04:14.719 We dream about the kind of impact that we're going to make, the things that we might accomplish. 00:04:16.300 --> 00:04:22.899 And if Peter's confession of Christ was our gospel reading this evening, we could talk about that. 00:04:22.899 --> 00:04:28.560 We could talk about the big vision that God calls every single one of us into. 00:04:29.859 --> 00:04:32.419 Because that is part of the call. 00:04:33.179 --> 00:04:38.620 What Hillary is called to is something of massive cosmic importance. 00:04:39.919 --> 00:04:46.099 What you are called to, what I am called to, it is of massive cosmic importance. 00:04:46.100 --> 00:04:50.800 However, that's not this evening's text. 00:04:51.820 --> 00:04:58.340 In this evening's gospel, another side of ministry is presented to Peter. 00:04:59.400 --> 00:05:09.379 So in John 21, what we just heard read, having just miraculously hauled in 153 fish into the boat, 00:05:10.000 --> 00:05:14.720 the disciples are hungry, they're tired, they've come onto the beach to have breakfast 00:05:14.720 --> 00:05:21.000 with a resurrected Jesus, and just as they're finishing, Jesus pulls Peter off to one side 00:05:21.000 --> 00:05:23.020 to have a private conversation. 00:05:25.220 --> 00:05:30.960 And there Jesus asks Peter, right from the start, what appears to be a really odd question. 00:05:31.440 --> 00:05:37.200 Jesus says, Peter, do you love me more than these? 00:05:37.199 --> 00:05:45.939 And most commentators agree that Jesus was probably gesturing to the other disciples and saying, 00:05:46.019 --> 00:05:49.539 Peter, do you love me more than these? 00:05:49.800 --> 00:05:51.019 More than these other disciples? 00:05:51.759 --> 00:05:58.539 And most of us would ask, why in the world does Jesus begin this kind of conversation with 00:05:58.539 --> 00:05:59.259 this sort of question? 00:05:59.259 --> 00:06:09.439 And one obvious answer to that is that Jesus is testing Peter because in the past, Peter was always 00:06:09.439 --> 00:06:18.719 setting himself up just above the other disciples when comparing their personal loyalty to Jesus. 00:06:18.720 --> 00:06:29.140 So if you remember, in Matthew 26, Peter says to Jesus, even if all these other disciples abandon you, 00:06:29.780 --> 00:06:31.340 I will never do this. 00:06:32.580 --> 00:06:36.760 Or in John 13, Peter says, Lord, why can't I follow you right now? 00:06:36.880 --> 00:06:39.420 I am ready to lay down my life for you. 00:06:40.420 --> 00:06:45.960 Throughout the Gospels, Peter has a very high opinion of his own capacity. 00:06:45.959 --> 00:06:50.299 Of his own strength. 00:06:50.680 --> 00:06:54.000 Of his own exceptional loyalty to Jesus. 00:06:54.799 --> 00:07:00.359 And so Jesus begins this conversation with Peter on the beach, the resurrected Jesus, 00:07:00.639 --> 00:07:05.919 by going back to what had been a major issue in Peter's life. 00:07:06.519 --> 00:07:10.240 An area of weakness, which was his self-reliance. 00:07:10.240 --> 00:07:16.060 His ambition, his having to be just a bit better than everybody else. 00:07:17.540 --> 00:07:21.900 And so Peter, he says, where are we at? 00:07:22.759 --> 00:07:24.420 Do you love me more than the others? 00:07:26.780 --> 00:07:32.960 And the old Peter, the Peter that we know, would have leaped at the chance to answer this question. 00:07:33.519 --> 00:07:38.600 To remind Jesus of just how much he loved him more than the other disciples. 00:07:38.600 --> 00:07:46.120 But notice, throughout this entire conversation, Peter ignores Jesus' invitation to compare himself. 00:07:47.520 --> 00:07:53.320 His responses make no reference to the other disciples, even though that's how Jesus phrased the question. 00:07:53.900 --> 00:07:59.720 Instead, Peter simply says, Lord, you know that I love you. 00:08:01.700 --> 00:08:02.620 Comparisons are gone. 00:08:02.620 --> 00:08:07.300 At the same time, he doesn't offer false humility. 00:08:07.740 --> 00:08:12.519 He doesn't say, Lord, I obviously don't love you as much as the other disciples do. 00:08:12.600 --> 00:08:15.759 He just answers with honesty and simplicity. 00:08:16.459 --> 00:08:17.280 No pretension. 00:08:19.060 --> 00:08:23.459 And he answers, interestingly, in exactly the same way. 00:08:23.459 --> 00:08:31.079 He's so careful and so repetitive, they suggest a person who no longer trusts his old instincts. 00:08:33.079 --> 00:08:38.079 And Jesus responds by saying, feed my lambs. 00:08:39.199 --> 00:08:40.019 Care for my people. 00:08:40.019 --> 00:08:49.259 Jesus does not say, preach to thousands, Peter, and win the Mediterranean world for me. 00:08:50.419 --> 00:08:52.860 Even though that is exactly what will happen. 00:08:52.860 --> 00:09:01.039 Jesus is the one who only moments earlier had told the disciples had been fishing all morning. 00:09:01.139 --> 00:09:01.980 They had caught nothing. 00:09:02.419 --> 00:09:04.560 He says, let down your nets on the other side. 00:09:04.820 --> 00:09:07.800 And the nets were flooded with 153 fish. 00:09:07.860 --> 00:09:13.480 Which is the text's way of saying this was an immense, incredible, unprecedented number of fish. 00:09:13.480 --> 00:09:24.680 And the text says this, I think, because Jesus knows that gathering big numbers, whether fish or people, is never the biggest challenge. 00:09:26.680 --> 00:09:28.500 Jesus wants something different from Peter. 00:09:30.139 --> 00:09:40.480 And so he gives Peter someone with massive leadership gifts, incredible abilities, a very streamlined work assignment. 00:09:41.300 --> 00:09:42.639 He says, Peter, feed my sheep. 00:09:43.480 --> 00:09:46.019 Care for the people right there in front of you. 00:09:47.820 --> 00:09:53.659 And then as if this shrinking of Peter's ministry is not enough, Jesus doubles down. 00:09:53.820 --> 00:09:55.700 He narrows Peter's call. 00:09:55.879 --> 00:10:02.120 And then he narrates a vision of ministry in which Peter is no longer in control. 00:10:03.500 --> 00:10:12.720 Truly, truly, I say to you, Jesus said to Peter, when you were a young man, you used to dress yourself and walk wherever you wanted. 00:10:12.720 --> 00:10:15.840 But when you are older, you will stretch out your hands. 00:10:16.139 --> 00:10:19.779 And another will dress you and take you where you do not want to go. 00:10:21.480 --> 00:10:23.899 Now, interestingly, John has a little aside here. 00:10:23.980 --> 00:10:26.500 He says Jesus was talking about Peter's future martyrdom. 00:10:27.259 --> 00:10:29.759 But there's no indication Jesus says this to Peter. 00:10:29.759 --> 00:10:40.720 All we see here is Peter hearing Jesus say, Peter, you used to be in control and now you will not be. 00:10:40.720 --> 00:10:47.300 Why is Jesus saying this to Peter? 00:10:47.300 --> 00:10:57.639 It would appear that the ministry to which Jesus first commissioned him in such a dramatic fashion on this rock, I will build my church. 00:10:57.639 --> 00:11:06.939 It would appear that the actual fulfillment of that ministry will require something different, something more than Peter's natural abilities alone. 00:11:06.940 --> 00:11:16.960 It will require Peter to have a kind of passivity, a kind of willingness to not be in control. 00:11:18.960 --> 00:11:21.040 Years ago, I had a spiritual director. 00:11:21.340 --> 00:11:23.820 He once said to me just in passing, but I always remembered it. 00:11:24.200 --> 00:11:30.600 He said, always actively surrender and then passively follow. 00:11:32.600 --> 00:11:36.680 Actively surrender and then passively follow. 00:11:36.940 --> 00:11:43.060 And I think in this passage here, Jesus is saying something similar. 00:11:44.000 --> 00:11:57.500 He's saying, Peter, all that energy that in the past used to express itself in ambition and in self-promotion, channel that into active surrender. 00:12:00.080 --> 00:12:02.900 Channel it into taking care of those that I will give you. 00:12:02.899 --> 00:12:12.919 And then from that place of surrender, you will be newly available for the kind of ministry that I have for you, which will require you to go to places that you would not have chosen. 00:12:12.919 --> 00:12:27.059 Gregory of Nanzianzus, one of the church fathers writing in the fourth century, wrote that the way to prepare for pastoral ministry is to follow what he called the order of the Spirit. 00:12:27.620 --> 00:12:36.120 He wrote that we must first surrender to the Spirit and allow ourselves to be transformed in order to communicate grace to others. 00:12:36.120 --> 00:12:43.179 Only those who are in a position to cleanse others. 00:12:43.179 --> 00:12:43.899 He wrote. 00:12:45.899 --> 00:12:59.940 And here on the beach, in what is effectively a kind of second ordination service, Jesus invites Peter into a deeper purification that will enable him to communicate God's grace to others. 00:12:59.940 --> 00:13:05.000 Now, here's the question. 00:13:05.720 --> 00:13:12.500 What is it that makes it possible for Peter to actually hear this from Jesus, to receive it? 00:13:13.800 --> 00:13:21.800 We might remember that a posture of humility, of receptivity, was not something that Peter was known for. 00:13:21.799 --> 00:13:31.079 Or we might remember that Jesus attempted to evoke that in Peter in the past, especially when he tried to wash Peter's feet, and Peter would have none of it. 00:13:33.099 --> 00:13:39.179 But here in the meekness of Peter's response to Jesus, we catch a glimpse of something new. 00:13:39.319 --> 00:13:45.899 We see a Peter who is newly able to receive this commission to go wherever he is led. 00:13:46.079 --> 00:13:48.839 And we have to ask, what explains this new malleability? 00:13:48.840 --> 00:14:01.700 And I think there can be no question that Peter's preparation for this reordination to ministry results from his earlier failures, from his earlier sense of loss. 00:14:03.280 --> 00:14:04.139 It's interesting. 00:14:04.259 --> 00:14:12.240 The early church considered that the story of Peter's denial of Christ was one of the most important things, of central importance. 00:14:12.320 --> 00:14:13.940 The church fathers talk about it all the time. 00:14:13.940 --> 00:14:22.340 All four gospel writers are very careful to recount specifically what happened in Peter's denial of Christ. 00:14:23.160 --> 00:14:36.140 And scholars will say, scholars of antiquity will say that there is nothing quite like the story of Peter's denial of Christ in all of the literature of antiquity in terms of its immediacy and its detail. 00:14:36.720 --> 00:14:37.600 It stands apart. 00:14:37.600 --> 00:14:50.080 And one of the most striking details from that story is Peter's reaction to his loss and failure, the impact that it made on him. 00:14:50.440 --> 00:14:58.960 Matthew and Luke's gospel tell us that after hearing the rooster crow three times, this larger-than-life fisherman went outside and what? 00:14:59.960 --> 00:15:02.000 He wept bitterly. 00:15:02.000 --> 00:15:20.639 And it doesn't take a huge amount of imagination to suggest that the depth of Peter's brokenness results at least in part from the huge amount of confidence that he had had in his personal loyalty to Jesus. 00:15:22.019 --> 00:15:24.740 Peter considered himself ready to die for Jesus. 00:15:24.899 --> 00:15:27.440 This was a big part of his own self-conception. 00:15:27.440 --> 00:15:38.820 And so perhaps part of what we see in Peter's tears is an unraveling of the way that he understood himself and saw himself and saw what his future might look like. 00:15:41.620 --> 00:15:51.140 The reality is that we all have things that we believe to be true about ourselves, that we believe to be true about our future. 00:15:51.139 --> 00:16:06.699 And sometimes, as in the case of Peter, when those futures don't come about or when those things that we believe to be true about ourselves turn out to not be so true, the realization can be sudden and dramatic. 00:16:08.379 --> 00:16:12.799 For most of us, however, it is more slow and drawn out. 00:16:12.799 --> 00:16:21.319 Sometimes, as with Peter, the losses that we experience are due to things for which we are culpable. 00:16:22.439 --> 00:16:23.240 It's our fault. 00:16:24.519 --> 00:16:29.659 Other times, however, those losses result from things that are completely outside of our control. 00:16:30.859 --> 00:16:32.620 Careers that don't go as expected. 00:16:34.099 --> 00:16:35.500 Relationships that fail. 00:16:36.219 --> 00:16:39.500 Doors that, for some reason, just don't seem to open. 00:16:39.500 --> 00:16:48.799 And it is instructive, I think, how Peter responded to this loss. 00:16:50.299 --> 00:16:51.700 He didn't deny his role. 00:16:52.460 --> 00:16:54.220 He didn't pretend things weren't so bad. 00:16:55.519 --> 00:16:57.500 He owned the experience. 00:16:58.019 --> 00:16:59.159 He wept bitterly. 00:17:02.360 --> 00:17:07.339 What happened in a compressed way for Peter often takes more time for us. 00:17:07.339 --> 00:17:19.419 But whether it happens quickly or takes years, the breaking of Peter that prepared him for a deeper call to ministry is what must happen to all of us as well. 00:17:24.220 --> 00:17:31.779 Over several decades in the 20th century, one of the most remarkable longitudinal studies was done. 00:17:31.859 --> 00:17:33.539 It was called the Grant Study. 00:17:33.539 --> 00:17:43.779 And in it, nearly 300 male undergraduates at Harvard were selected from among their peers as the most likely to succeed. 00:17:44.839 --> 00:17:47.440 And they were studied medically and psychologically. 00:17:48.259 --> 00:17:54.099 They were interviewed by a research team every single year for the rest of their lives. 00:17:54.359 --> 00:17:56.920 It was an amazing study, often talked about. 00:17:56.920 --> 00:18:09.620 Their identities were kept absolutely secret, but we have learned in more recent years that two of those, one was John F. Kennedy, and another was Ben Bradley, who became editor of the Washington Post. 00:18:09.619 --> 00:18:26.319 And what is so interesting and even shocking from the results of the study is how the lives of these apparently well-adjusted young men play out in ways that defy predictability. 00:18:27.619 --> 00:18:35.839 The trajectory at the beginning of a person's life is no predictor of where they eventually end up. 00:18:35.839 --> 00:18:46.519 One especially gifted young man grew up with every advantage, and yet by his mid-30s, he was wandering through life, fell off the radar of the study, and died at a young age. 00:18:47.819 --> 00:18:54.819 Another young man in the study was raised in a blue-collar home by abusive parents, yet he went on to become a national civil rights leader. 00:18:54.939 --> 00:18:56.599 He was loved by his co-workers. 00:18:56.599 --> 00:19:06.279 He lived well into old age, and he was celebrated in all the obituaries as a civil rights hero. 00:19:07.679 --> 00:19:17.059 The primary author of the study writes that if there is one theme that emerges from the entire study, one lesson, it is this. 00:19:17.059 --> 00:19:32.039 The ultimate course of these men's lives had little to do with how many advantages or difficulties they started out with, but rather how they responded to failure and to loss that came along the way. 00:19:32.039 --> 00:19:50.159 He writes that this central theme is best captured in the story from a parable of a father who, in Christmas Eve, put into one of his son's stockings an expensive gold watch and into another son's stocking a pile of horse manure. 00:19:50.160 --> 00:19:56.400 The next morning, the first boy comes to his father and says, Dad, I just don't know what I'll do with this watch. 00:19:56.460 --> 00:19:58.000 It's so fragile, it could break. 00:19:58.160 --> 00:20:04.200 And the other boy runs to him and says, Daddy, Daddy, Santa left me a pony, if only I can just find it. 00:20:07.000 --> 00:20:11.320 How do we respond to disappointment and loss? 00:20:11.319 --> 00:20:20.819 In our gospel this evening, the Peter that we observe on the beach is different. 00:20:22.059 --> 00:20:25.659 He's changed from the Peter that we encounter earlier in the gospels. 00:20:27.439 --> 00:20:33.500 Here at the end of John's gospel, we encounter a Peter who is becoming more humble and more malleable. 00:20:34.559 --> 00:20:38.299 He has no idea of how God is going to use him. 00:20:38.299 --> 00:20:48.700 All he knows is that loss and failure and disappointment have prepared him to actively surrender and passively follow. 00:20:52.579 --> 00:20:56.799 This evening, we ordain Hillary to the priesthood. 00:20:57.599 --> 00:21:03.759 But as we pray for Hillary, let's also pray for ourselves. 00:21:03.759 --> 00:21:13.819 Because our passage this evening reminds us that God is not looking for people who simply have gifts or talents or ambition. 00:21:15.980 --> 00:21:25.720 The God who can bring 153 fish into a boat has no trouble accomplishing whatever he wants, whenever he wants. 00:21:25.720 --> 00:21:30.400 But God is looking for more Peters. 00:21:32.259 --> 00:21:39.579 Women and men who will allow themselves to be transformed by failure and loss. 00:21:39.759 --> 00:21:44.940 So that God can use them to bring transformation to others. 00:21:47.079 --> 00:21:47.920 Amen. 00:21:47.920 --> 00:21:47.980 Amen.