Please turn with me to Proverbs chapter 27.
Let me pray for the reading and preaching of God's Word.
as we learn from Proverbs 27
about your design for friendship,
won't you shape us more and more
to be the kind of friends to one another
that Jesus has been to us.
In Jesus' name we pray.
Amen.
Proverbs 27.
Do not boast about tomorrow,
for you do not know what a day may bring.
Let another praise you,
and not your own mouth,
a stranger and not your own lips.
A stone is heavy and sand is weighty,
but a fool's provocation is heavier than both.
Wrath is cruel,
anger is overwhelming,
but who can stand before jealousy?
Better is open rebuke than hidden love.
Faithful are the wounds of a friend,
profuse are the kisses of an enemy.
One who is full loathes honey,
but to one who is hungry,
everything bitter is sweet.
like a bird that strays from its nest,
is a man who strays from his home.
Oil and perfume make the heart glad,
and the sweetness of a friend.
And the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel.
Do not forsake your friend,
Do not forsake your friend and your father's friend,
and do not go to your brother's house in the day of your calamity.
Better is a neighbor who is near than a brother who is far away.
Be wise,
my son,
and make my heart glad,
that I may answer him who reproaches me.
The prudent sees danger and hides himself,
but the simple go on and suffer for it.
Take a man's garment when he has put up security for a stranger,
and hold it in pledge when he puts up security for an adulteress.
Whoever blesses his neighbor with the loud voice rising early in the morning
will be counted as cursing.
A continual dripping on a rainy day,
and a quarrelsome wife are alike.
To restrain her is to restrain the wind,
or to grasp oil in one's right hand.
Iron sharpens iron,
and one man sharpens another.
Whoever tends a fig tree will eat its fruit,
and he who guards his master will be honored.
As in water, face reflects face,
so the heart of man reflects the man.
Sheol and Abaddon are never satisfied,
and never satisfied are the eyes of man.
The crucible is for silver,
and the furnace is for gold,
and a man is tested by his praise.
Crush a fool in a mortar with a pestle along with crushed grain,
yet his folly will not depart from him.
Know well the condition of your flocks,
and give attention to your hurts.
For riches do not last forever,
and does a crown endure to all generations?
When the grass is gone,
and the new growth appears,
and the vegetation of the mountain is gathered,
the lambs will provide your clothing,
and the goats the price of a field.
There will be enough goat's milk for your food,
for the food for your household,
and maintenance for your growths.
This is God's holy and authoritative word.
It's particularly appropriate,
as we as a church family mourn
the loss of a dear friend,
that we look at a passage
about friendship,
what it means to be a true friend.
Because everyone needs friends,
but what kind of friends should we seek?
How do we make friends?
How do we keep friends?
What kind of friends should we be?
These are all questions that we have asked ourselves.
And the two different Hebrew words for friend,
which sometimes translate neighbor in this passage,
occur again and again,
six times throughout this chapter,
to tell us that that's what this chapter
is primarily about.
And it gives us many of God's wise answers
to these questions.
In verses 1 to 4,
it tells us to don't make it about yourself.
In verses 5 to 10,
it tells us to be forthright and faithful.
Verses 11 to 22,
it tells us to choose your friends wisely.
And verses 23 to 27,
it tells us to make friends for the future.
The first lesson about friendship
is that we shouldn't make it about ourselves.
We see this in verses 1 to 4.
It says,
Do not boast about tomorrow,
for you do not know what a day may bring.
Let another praise you and not your own mouth,
a stranger and not your own lips.
The first two verses are joined together
by the common word praise,
which is translated as boast in verse 1,
and praise in verse 2.
They forbid self-praise,
but invite the praise of strangers.
We are never meant to boast about tomorrow
or to praise our tomorrow,
our great prospects,
our grand plans,
for we do not know what a day may bring.
Tomorrow is not guaranteed to any of us.
And that reality should humble us.
That reality should humble us before God
and keep us from boasting.
James 4, 13 to 15 echoes this wisdom.
Come now, you who say,
today or tomorrow,
we will go into such and such a town
and spend a year there
and trade and make a profit.
Yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring.
What is your life?
For you are a mist that appears for a little time
and then vanishes.
Instead, you ought to say,
if the Lord wills,
we will live and do this or that.
If you are the kind of person like me
that likes to make plans long into the future,
like to talk about those plans,
it could be a sign and evidence of pride.
It's not wrong to make tentative plans
and diligent preparations,
but we should do so with the understanding
that our plans are always contingent on God's plans.
I think during the pandemic,
we recovered a little bit of that humility.
And it would serve us to remember that lesson
for our entire lives.
We don't know how long the virus will be around.
We don't know whether the economy will rebound or not.
We don't know whether or not we will keep our jobs,
whether or not we will be alive next year or not.
It will serve us to remember this
and stay humble in our lives.
A person who dwells in the past is despondent.
A person who dwells in the future is prideful.
Only the person who dwells in the present,
in light of eternity, can be faithful.
So we should never praise ourselves.
We should never boast about our future.
We should never talk up our own potential and prospects.
The only praise that is acceptable
is the praise that others bestow on us.
Verse 2 says,
Let another praise you and not your own mouth.
A stranger and not your own lips.
I read this week that there is a German proverb
that goes like this.
Self-praise stinks.
Friends' praise limps.
Strangers' praise rings.
Human beings are capable of endless self-deception.
We are also capable of selfish flattery.
And for these reasons, it's the praise of another,
a stranger.
Praise from someone who has nothing to gain from praising you.
That is truly to be valued.
This is an important foundation for friendship
because no one likes self-absorbed, socially insecure people
who make everything, every relationship about themselves.
Verse 3 says this,
A stone is heavy and sand is weighty,
but a fool's provocation is heavier than both.
When we need to weigh things down,
to keep from blowing away a sign or something that we put up,
for example, in our outdoor services,
we use sandbags, stones, because they are heavy.
But a self-absorbed fool's provocation,
it says, is heavier than both.
The word heavy used here is the same Hebrew word
that is sometimes translated honor or glory.
And the Hebrew word for sand is,
it looks and sounds almost identical to the word praise
used in verses 1 and 2.
So both the heavy stone and weighty sand
are reminiscent of the self-absorbing
and self-glorying of the fool.
The self-honoring and self-glorifying of the fool.
And that self-absorption and boasting
weighs down all of his friendships
so that they cannot blossom and flourish.
Verse 4 continues,
wrath is cruel and anger is overwhelming,
but who can stand before jealousy?
Just as the fool's provocation
is heavier than both stone and sand,
so it says jealousy
that this fool's self-absorbed,
self-centered boasting creates
is overwhelming,
more overwhelming than cruel wrath and anger.
In common English,
we use the words jealousy and envy interchangeably.
But if we get technical,
jealousy is the longing and zeal
that a person feels
when something or someone
that rightly belongs to him or her
is threatened.
That's jealousy.
For example,
when a woman gets jealous for her husband,
when another woman flirts with him,
she should feel jealous
for him in that instance
because her husband rightly belongs to her.
And jealousy in that instance
is a sign of love
as opposed to indifference.
This is what is meant
when Scripture describes God
as a jealous God
who is jealous for his people.
He is jealous for us
when we turn to idols.
He is jealous for us
because we rightly belong to him.
Our allegiance,
our affection,
belong to him.
On the other hand,
envy is the longing
that a person feels
for something or someone
that belongs to another.
For example,
when we are envious
of another person's fortunes,
looks,
relationships,
successes.
Another way to make this distinction
is to differentiate
between being jealous
for something or someone,
which is healthy,
and being jealous
of something or someone,
which is envy.
This unhealthy jealousy
is more severe
and unyielding
than even overwhelming cruel anger.
And in this climate
of self-absorbed boasting
and other-absorbed envy,
the seeds of friendship
cannot grow.
And so that's the first lesson
on friendship
from this chapter,
that friendship requires
mutuality and self-giving.
If we make it about ourselves,
it doesn't work.
The second lesson is this,
be forthright and faithful.
We can see this
in verses 5 to 10.
It says,
Better is open rebuke
than hidden love.
Faithful are the wounds
of a friend.
Profuse are the kisses
of an enemy.
This striking proverb
contrasts open rebuke,
which is paradoxical,
contrasts it with hidden love.
Likewise,
it also contrasts
friendly wounds,
which is paradoxical,
with enemy kisses.
A true friend
is willing to inflict
faithful wounds
on his or her friends.
When he sees his friend
in wrongdoing,
he takes the personal risk
of confronting him or her
and correcting him or her
because his love for his friend
outweighs his desire
for self-preservation.
In contrast,
the unfaithful friend
hides his love
and does not rebuke his friend
because he is cowardly
and selfish
and does not want to risk
being rejected.
Though ostensibly,
he may refrain from rebuking
his friend
out of an interest
for his feelings.
I don't want to hurt my friend
because he's too dear to me.
In reality,
he's looking out
for his own interests.
In this way,
the hidden love
has more in common,
it says according to this
poetical comparison,
with the profuse kisses
of an enemy,
like the kiss of Judas
that betrayed our Lord Jesus.
It's insincere,
deceitful,
hypocritical.
A good friend is faithful,
meaning he is trustworthy
and reliable.
If he sees you going down
the wrong path,
even at the risk
of being spurned,
he will correct you.
So forthrightness
and faithfulness
are essential elements
of true love,
true friendship.
And that's why
the famous command
in Leviticus 19.18,
love your neighbor
as yourself,
is preceded immediately
by verse 17,
which says,
do not hate
a fellow Israelite
in your heart.
Rebuke your neighbor
frankly
so you will not share
in their guilt.
The importance
of giving earnest
counsel to one's friend
is highlighted again
in verses 7-10.
Please follow along
with me as I read it.
One who is full
loathes honey,
but to one who is hungry
everything bitter
is sweet.
Like a bird that strays
from its nest
is a man who strays
from his home.
Oil and perfume
make the heart glad,
and the sweetness
of a friend
comes from his
earnest counsel.
Do not forsake
your friend
and your father's friend
and do not go
to your brother's house
in the day of your calamity.
Better is a neighbor
who is near
than a brother
who is far away.
These verses
that I just read
have an alternating pattern.
So verse 7
is paralleled
by verse 9.
Verse 8
is paralleled
by verse 10.
Verse 7
speaks of
sweet honey
and verse 9
speaks of
the sweetness
of a friend
who provides
earnest counsel.
Verse 7
repeats the word
soul.
Literally,
it's the soul
who's full
loathes honey,
but to the soul
who is hungry
everything bitter
is sweet.
And that word
is repeated again
in verse 9
where earnest counsel
is literally
counsel of soul,
a soulish counsel.
And these verbal
connections
between verses 7
and 9
illuminate each other.
Because verse 7
at the literal level
simply says
that if you're
a picky eater,
it's because
you haven't really
known hunger.
That's true.
As it says
in Pinocchio
that I'm reading
to my daughters
right now,
hunger is the best sauce.
But this verse
isn't really
about appetite.
It's about friendship
as verse 9
makes clear.
In other words,
if you surround
yourself
with so-called
friends,
who are eager
to party with you
and tell you
what you want
to hear,
if you have
your fill
of such friends,
you're going
to loathe
even the honey-like
sweetness
of a friend
who gives you
earnest counsel.
You're going
to be too full
of the gossip,
the chatter,
the flattery,
and frivolous talk
of unfaithful friends
to appreciate
the open rebuke
and earnest counsel
of a faithful friend.
And
Proverbs 18,
24 puts it
this way,
a man of
many companions
may come
to ruin,
but there's
a friend
who sticks
closer
than a brother.
Instead of
getting full
on many companions
who do nothing
to prevent us
from ruin,
we are to find
the friend
who sticks
closer than a brother
who is willing
to give us
the sweetness
of earnest
counsel.
The flip side
of this verse
is also true.
Verse 7,
it says,
But to one
who is hungry,
everything bitter
is sweet.
If you are
starved for friendship,
if you're lonely
and desperate
for some kind
of affirmation,
even that which
is bitter
is going to taste
sweet to you.
Even bitter friends
who make your life
miserable
are going to seem
desirable to you.
To summarize then,
being sated
by bad friends
will make you
despise a good friend,
and the lack
of good friends
will make you
pine for bad friends.
Bad friends.
In order to avoid
these pitfalls,
we need to be wise
in choosing
our friends.
We need to befriend
those who will give us
the honor of open
rebuke
and earnest counsel.
Similarly,
verse 8 and verse 10
parallel and explain
each other.
Verse 8 says,
Like a bird
that strays
from its nest
is a man
who strays
from his home.
And verse 10 says,
Do not forsake
your friend
and your father's friend,
and do not go
to your brother's house
in the day
of your calamity.
Better is a neighbor
who is near
than a brother
who is far away.
These verses
emphasize the importance
of geographic nearness
in friendship.
There are benefits
in remaining close
to your family
and friends at home.
A bird that strays
from its nest
is out of its element.
It is isolated
and vulnerable.
One simple
and obvious application
from this
is that we should think
twice before we leave
our network
of family and friends
for school,
for a job,
or for no other reason
than leaving home.
It's easier
to get a good education
or to find a good job
than to make faithful friends
or to find a good church.
church.
Some of you
have experienced this
during your time
in Boston.
You moved here
for one purpose
or another
and realized
that you are a bird
that has strayed
from its nest,
isolated,
lonely.
Verse 10 continues,
like a bird
that strays
from its nest.
Those who forsake
their friend
and their father's friend
in the day
of their calamity
and instead
seek help
from faraway relatives
are going to be
isolated and vulnerable.
They're going to be
disappointed.
In our modern
digital age
of frequent air travel
and Zoom,
physical distance
seems increasingly
irrelevant.
But this proverb
reminds us
of the importance
of embodied nearness.
A hallmark
of a good friend
is faithfulness,
constancy,
dependability.
And a brother
who is far away
is not going to be able
to provide that for you.
No matter how loyal
or kind he might be,
by the simple fact
that he's not here,
he's not going to always
be there for you.
His attention
and his focus
are rightfully elsewhere.
Do you have friends
who are nearby
that you can call,
that you can go over
to their house
in your day of calamity?
Do you have such friends?
Or are your primary
relational investments
still in family and friends
who are far away?
Especially in a transient
city like ours,
this proverb offers
a helpful corrective.
You should lay down roots
wherever you end up
and make friends
with those who are near you,
even if you're only there
for a year.
Because you don't know
what tomorrow may bring.
An unforeseen calamity
might strike you
or you may be there
for longer than you know
or longer than you imagine.
Better is a neighbor
who is near
than a brother
who is far away.
Wherever you are,
you should invest
in relationships.
and as a church
in this transient city,
we have a wonderful opportunity
to be that good neighbor
and that faithful friend
to all those who come
through our doors.
And then verses 11 to 22
teach us to choose
our friends wisely.
It begins in verses 11 and 12.
Be wise, my son,
and make my heart glad
that I may answer him
who reproaches me.
The prudent sees danger
and hides himself,
but the simple go on
and suffer for it.
These verses anticipate
a family adversary
who seeks to bring shame
to the father.
And while this is generally
true everywhere,
especially in this
intensely family-oriented culture
that Proverbs was written in,
how the child fares
is directly affected,
it directly affects
the way the parent
is esteemed.
So here,
the father implores his son
to be wise
and make my heart glad
that I may answer him
who reproaches me.
He wants his son
to be prudent
and to avoid danger
rather than being
a simple fool
who walks headlong
into trouble.
And the primary kind
of danger and suffering
that the father
wants his child to avoid
in this context
of chapter 27
is the danger
of bad companions
and the suffering
that poorly chosen
friends bring.
As I said earlier
in Proverbs 13, 20,
whoever walks
with the wise
becomes wise,
but the companion
of fools
will suffer harm.
This highlights
something unique
about friendship
and that's this,
that friendship
is entirely elective.
You can't choose
your parents.
You can't choose
your siblings.
You can't really
even choose
your neighbors.
but you have
chosen all
of your friends.
And this is why
it's so important
to be careful
with whom we choose.
The Four Loves,
a book by C.S. Lewis,
describes friendship
this way.
He says,
it is the least
natural of loves,
the least instinctive,
organic,
biological,
gregarious,
and necessary.
He's pointing out
the fact that
friends are some
relationships that
don't,
they're not forced
upon you.
Rather,
they're relationships
that you choose.
And as much as
we like to think
in our liberal
individualistic culture
that we are
self-sufficient
or that we are
self-made people,
we are anything
but that.
We romanticize
the idea
of self-determination.
I'm my own person,
we say.
I make my own
decisions.
I determine
my own path.
But self-determination
is an illusion.
In fact,
we are a product
of our cultures
and the communities
that we surround
ourselves with.
When we are younger,
we are primarily
influenced by our family
and as we get older,
we are primarily
influenced by our friends,
the community
we surround ourselves with.
And this is why
choosing our friends
wisely is so crucial.
And verses 13 to 16
tell us what kinds
of friends
to avoid.
Verse 13,
it says,
take a man's garment
when he has put up
security for a stranger
and hold it in pledge
when he puts up
security for an adulteress.
What's in view here
is a man
who cosigns
loans for strangers.
someone who becomes
a guarantor
of a stranger's debt
for someone
that he bears
no responsibility for.
The word stranger
is a key word here
because it's also
connected to the word
adulteress,
which literally means
foreigner woman,
a strange woman,
a woman that does
not belong to you,
someone that is
not your wife.
Proverbs repeatedly
warns against
becoming a surety,
a guarantor
of someone else's loans
because doing so
puts us at the mercy
of the borrower.
When we put up
security for someone,
we think that we are
in charge,
that we are being
benevolent,
but in reality,
that subjects us
to the goodwill
of the debtor
because if they
don't repay the debt,
we are bound,
we are chained,
we are at their mercy.
And because becoming
a surety for someone
else is foolish,
it warns us against
supporting,
warns us against
befriending people
who do that.
Imagine that you know
a fool who puts up
security for a stranger
and an adulteress
and then he comes
to you asking
to borrow money
to bail him out.
He says,
I'm your friend.
Verse 13 tells us
to be wary
of such people.
He says,
don't lend him money
in faith
just because
he's your friend.
Make sure you
take collateral
because it's a bad risk.
Take the man's garment
and hold it in pledge
because you'll most
likely never get
your money back.
Verse 14 continues,
whoever blesses
his neighbor
with a loud voice
rising early
in the morning
will be counted
as cursing.
Once again,
the subject is friendship.
The word neighbor
is the same word
that's translated
in many places
as friend
in verse 9 and 10
for example.
Even a well-meaning
blessing
if said
with a loud voice
early in the morning
will be counted
as cursing.
I think many of you guys
are aware of this.
I heard
many
sighs of relief
when we chose
the evening time
for our service.
And some of you guys
have seen
these coffee mugs
that have
these lines on it.
And I think
like quarter of the way down
it says shh.
And then
halfway down
it says
almost.
And then
I think
three-fourths
of the way down
it says
now you can speak.
So you understand
what this is talking about.
It's talking about
basic tact
and social awareness
that good friend
is supposed to have.
Reminiscent of
chapter 25
verses 16 and 17.
If you have found
honey
it only enough
for you
lest you have
your fill of it
and vomit it.
Let your foot
be seldom
in your neighbor's house
lest he have
his fill of you
and hate you.
Just as it's possible
to get too much
of a good thing
like honey
so it's possible
to have too much
of a good thing
like friendliness
and neighborliness.
If you want to be
a good friend
if you want to
bless your friend
great
but you got to
know the time
and place
to do it.
You got to
not be obnoxious
inconsiderate
and do it in a manner
that actually serves
your friend.
Some people
struggle with this
for one reason
or another
and if you know
that you struggle
in this department
ask your friends
for help.
Rely on them.
Ask them
if there have
been times
you were tactless
and so you
can grow from it.
And then
verses 15 to 16
warn us about
friends to avoid
especially in the
most intimate
of contexts.
A continual dripping
on a rainy day
and a quarrelsome
wife are alike.
To restrain her
is to restrain
the wind
or to grasp
oil in one's
right hand.
This is a picture
of a man
who takes shelter
under the roof
of his house
in a torrential
rain
only to be
pestered
by the continual
dripping of water
from his
leaky roof.
Likewise,
a man married
to a quarrelsome
wife comes home
for respite
only to be
worn down
further
by the nagging
of his wife.
To restrain her
is to restrain
the wind
or grasp
oil in one's
right hand.
Unlike the friend
who gives
earnest counsel
in verse 9
who is described
as compared
to the oil
and perfume
that make
the heart glad.
The quarrelsome
wife is like
oil that slips
from one's grip
that one can never
get a hold of.
She's supposed
to be a blessing
like the oil
of this earnest
friend,
but instead
she's elusive,
unrestrained.
It's because
Proverbs often
uses the rhetorical
device of father
addressing his sons
that is written
from this perspective,
but this proverb
also applies
to the quarrelsome
husband.
If your relationship
with a man
or a woman
is fraught
and characterized
by frequent quarrels,
if that relationship
rarely offers
rest and delight
for your soul,
then that's probably
not the person
you should enter
into lifelong covenant
with of marriage.
I do want to add
a caveat here
because,
and I advise you
to seek
the earnest counsel
of true friends
in this matter
because it may be
in your relationship
with the significant
other that the
core of some person
is not him or her
but you.
Instead,
it says we should
choose our friends
wisely,
people who have
godly character
that we aspire to
because they will
shape us.
It says in verse 17,
this famous verse,
iron sharpens iron
and one man
sharpens another.
If you look at
the footnote in ESV
at the end of this verse,
it tells us that
it's literally
iron sharpens iron
and one man
sharpens the face
of another.
In Hebrew,
the edge of the knife
is called
the face
of the knife.
So the expression
face of another
captures how
just as honing steel
can be used
to sharpen
the edge
of a blade,
we are sharpened
and sanctified
by our friends
so that we more,
we better reflect
God's character
and become more useful
for his purposes.
In short,
this verse is telling us
to choose for ourselves
friends who will
inflict faithful
wounds on us,
who will make
our hearts glad
with sweetness
of his earnest counsel.
And verse 17
is related to verse 19
by the word face
and by the word man.
It says,
as in water,
face reflects face.
So the heart of man
reflects the man.
This is another one
of those poetic lines
that are very difficult
to translate.
It literally says,
as the water,
face to face,
thus the heart of man
to man.
It likely means
one of two things.
It could mean
that as on the surface
of water,
one can see the reflection
of his own face.
So the heart of man
reflects the man's
true self,
who he is.
That's one option.
The second option
is that just as you see
your public image
by the reflection
in the mirror,
so you see your heart
in the way
it's reflected
in your friends
around you,
by those whose faces
that sharpen you.
I think the second option
better fits the surrounding
context because of
the connection,
the verbal connections
to verse 17.
And also because
Proverbs speaks often
of how every way
of man is right
in his own eyes,
but the Lord
weighs the heart.
It seems unlikely
that this proverb
is telling us
to look inside
our own hearts
that we actually
don't have access to.
If we really want
to know what
we're made of,
if we really want
to know what kinds
of people we are,
we need to look
to the earnest
counsel of friends,
the faces of friends,
the edge
of their,
of the knives,
who love us enough
to wound us faithfully
and to speak the truth,
to give us an honest
appraisal
of our own character.
If you have such friends,
I know many of you do,
it's painful.
It hurts at times.
It's not easy.
But you are blessed.
If you have such friends,
you should attend
to those friends
because you will surely
reap the rewards
multiple times over.
That's what verse 18,
sandwiched between
these two verses,
says,
whoever tends
a fig tree
will eat its fruit
and he who guards
his master
will be honored.
The metaphor
of tending
to a fig tree
is applied
particularly to
the relationship
between the employer
and the employee
in this context,
but it's more broadly
applicable to other
friendships and
relationships as well.
And a fig tree
takes several years
to grow before it
starts producing
its highly prized fruit.
And so it takes
hard work
and patient endurance,
just like friendship.
But in the end,
it's worthwhile.
Likewise,
faithful,
loyal service
to one's master,
anyone who has
power or authority
over you,
will bring honor
to you in due time.
And similarly,
friends,
true friends,
are worth attending to,
worth devoting time to,
worth counseling
earnestly.
And anyone who has
enjoyed the blessing
of true friendship
will tell you
that the fruit
is sweet.
Figs are one of the
sweetest fruits in nature.
We have this bag of figs
from Costco,
and it says,
about 20 grams of fig,
there's 10 grams of sugar.
That's amazing.
It's nature's candy.
And earlier in verses
7 to 9,
it's described
its sweetness,
it compared the sweetness
of a friend
who gives earnest counsel
to honey.
Likewise,
another sweet
food.
Because we live in a world
full of artificial sweeteners,
sweet foods are commonplace,
and now we take them
for granted.
But in the ancient world,
before people learned
to crystallize sugar
from sugar canes,
that was about
4th century AD,
sweet foods,
like honey and figs,
were cherished treats.
And likewise,
forthright and faithful friends
yield delectable fruits,
incomparable fruits,
that sweeten your life
and make it worthwhile.
We should strive
to find such friends.
Verses 20 to 22
then offer a study
in contrast
what foolish friends
are like
and how they can be tested.
It says,
Sheol and Abaddon
are never satisfied
and never satisfied
are the eyes of man.
The crucible
is for silver
and the furnace
is for gold
and a man
is tested
by his praise.
Crush a fool
in a mortar
with a pestle
along with crushed grain,
yet his folly
will not depart
from him.
The image
of never being satisfied
or sated
continues the theme
of food and eating.
Unlike the wise man
who is satisfied
by eating the fruit
of his labor,
by eating the sweetness
of friendship,
the fool is like Sheol
and Abaddon,
death and the grave,
which are never satisfied.
His eyes are ever greedy
for more,
for more money,
for more social prestige.
And here's how we weed out
such people.
Verse 21 says,
the crucible
is for silver
and the furnace
is for gold
and a man
is tested
by his praise.
In the same way
that silver and gold
are refined
by the fire
of the furnace,
so a man
is tested
by his praise.
His praise
exposes the man
to reveal
whether he is just
dross
that will burn off
or true metal
that withstands
the fire.
The word praise
recalls verses 1 to 2
which told us
not to praise
ourselves
or to boast
about our future
but to let someone else
praise us.
A foolish friend
to avoid
is the kind of person
that is eager
for the praise of man
and can never get
enough of it.
That person
who,
as John 12,
43 says,
loves the glory
that comes from man
more than the glory
that comes from God.
Such a person
gets bloated
and big-headed
when lavished
with praise,
thinking that
he deserves
all of it
and more
instead of being
humbled by praise,
recognizing that
all that he has
is ultimately
from God,
knowing how much
he is actually
indebted to others
who have helped him
along the way,
not knowing
how so much
of his success
was about being
in the right place
at the right time
and that there is
very little
that separates him
from others
who are also
deserving.
So,
such a greedy,
selfish,
prideful person
is rapacious
like Sheol
and Abaddon,
indiscriminately
consuming everything
in his path,
including anyone
who will be foolish
enough to be
their friends.
Verse 22 says,
Crush a fool
in a mortar
with a pestle
along with crushed grain,
yet his folly
will not depart from him.
That kind of
deeply ingrained
pride and folly
cannot be extracted.
Even if the fool
were to be crushed
as in a mortar
with a pestle,
the husk
of his sinful
pride and folly
cannot be removed
from the grain.
And that brings us
to the final section
of this chapter,
verses 23 to 27,
which tells us
to make friends
for the future.
Know well
the condition
of your flocks
and give attention
to your herds,
for riches
do not last forever,
and does a crown
endure to all generations?
When the grass
is gone
and the new growth
appears
and the vegetation
of the mountains
is gathered,
the lambs
will provide
your clothing
and the goats
the price
of a field.
There will be
enough goat's milk
for your food,
for the food
of your household,
and maintenance
for your girls.
It uses the imagery
of shepherding,
but that's not
what these verses
are about.
It's not giving us
shepherding advice.
We can see this
in the rationale
given in verse 24.
For riches
do not last forever,
and does a crown
endure to all generations?
What's in view here
is a king
who rules
over his figurative flocks.
He currently enjoys riches
by the virtue
of his royalty,
a crown,
but both his reign
and the riches
that accompany his rule
will one day
come to an end.
That's the reason
for the advice
of verse 23.
Know well the condition
of your flocks
and give attention
to your herds.
If you use the resources
at your disposal
for the benefit
of your subjects,
using the grass
and the vegetation
to feed your flocks,
then when times change
and you no longer
have access
to those resources,
the flocks you nourished
and shepherded
will provide you
with food and clothing.
If you are in positions
of leadership,
whether it's in your family,
church,
school,
or work,
or anywhere else,
this proverb commands you
to make your position
not about yourself
relishing the power
and privilege
that come with it,
but rather about serving
the people
in your charge.
If you do that,
when your fortunes
take a downturn,
those friends you made
will fend for you
and tend to you.
This is very similar
to the parable
of the shrewd manager
that Jesus tells
in Luke 16,
1-12.
There,
a manager
of a rich man's estate
receives a termination notice
from the owner,
and knowing that
he's not strong enough
to hire himself out
for manual labor,
but also being too ashamed
to beg for money
once he is fired,
the manager decides
to use however many days
he has left
as the manager
in his position
to reduce
the outstanding debt
of all of his master's debtors,
so that when he
is finally unemployed,
these friends he made
might receive him
into their homes
and provide for him.
Using this parable,
Jesus tells us
in Luke 16, 9,
and I tell you,
make friends for yourselves
by means of unrighteous wealth,
so that when it falls,
they may receive you
into the eternal dwellings.
The logic is exactly the same
as Proverbs 27,
but there Jesus applies
this principle to eternity.
Our earthly lives
are very short
relative to eternity,
and we can't take
any of our money with us.
So Jesus tells us
to use unrighteous wealth,
earthly currency,
to make friends
in preparation for a time
when that currency
is no longer valid
in eternity.
If we use our resources,
if we use our station,
if we use our influence
to make heavenly friends,
to tell people about Jesus,
to bring them,
invite them to the kingdom
of God,
then when we no longer
have all of these
resources at our disposal,
when we lose all of it
in heaven,
we will have friends
to welcome us.
So then both
for the sake of our
earthly friends,
earthly future,
and for the sake of our
eternal heavenly future,
we need to use our stations
and our influence,
our resources,
to make friends.
If you're like me
and you're going
through this passage,
this fills you
with longing.
Wouldn't it be amazing
to have friends
who are forthright
and faithful?
Friends who are genuinely
entrusted in your welfare.
Friends who are always
there for us.
Friends who love us enough
to tell us the truth,
and yet simultaneously
is considerate and tactful.
Friends who use
their station,
their influence,
their resources
to serve us
rather than only
to advance their own agenda.
And if we're honest
with ourselves,
not only does this
fill us with longing,
it also fills us
with regret.
Because we realize
that not only
have we failed,
have our friends
failed us,
but we also have
failed our friends.
we have not been
faithful and forthright
friends.
We have at times
let our friends down.
We have been
self-centered.
But in spite of this,
we have a faithful friend
who has never failed us.
who will never fail us.
Explaining the significance
of his impending death
on the cross
to his disciples,
Jesus says in John 15,
greater love
has no one
than this,
that someone
laid down his life
for his friends.
You are my friends
if you do
what I command you.
No longer
do I call you
servants,
for the servant
does not know
what his master
is doing,
but I have called you
friends.
For all that I have
heard from my father
I have made known
to you.
What Jesus says here
reveals that in a sense
the entire salvation
history can be described
as a story of friendship.
God calls Abraham
my friend
in Isaiah 41.8.
It was said that the Lord
used to speak to Moses
face to face
as a man speaks
to his friend.
Psalm 25.14
says the friendship
of the Lord
is for those
who fear him
and he makes
known to them
his covenant.
We had all
forsaken God.
We had all
rejected
our covenant
relationship with him.
We have dishonored him
and yet
in his mercy
God never stopped
befriending us.
friends.
We were fickle
and unfaithful
friends.
Undependable
and self-centered.
And as James 4.4
says
you adulterous
people
do not know
that friendship
with the world
is enmity
with God.
Therefore
whoever wishes
to be a friend
of the world
makes himself
an enemy
of God.
Even though
we chose
our friendship
with the world
we hoard
after the idols
of this world
and yet
over
and over
again
the spurned
God
the rejected
God
while we were
his enemies
says
reconciled us
to himself
through the death
of his son
Jesus Christ.
Jesus is the
faithful friend
who demonstrated
the greatest love
by laying down
his life
for us.
he is the
good shepherd
who looked out
not only
for his own
interests
but he laid
down
his life
to save
us.
He had
every right
to exploit
us
fleece us
use us
however he
would have
wanted.
He's the creator
he owns us
and yet
he befriends
his creatures.
and it's
because Jesus
died on the
cross for
our sins
because he
was raised
from the
dead
for our
sake
that we
can now
be reconciled
to him
and be
called
his friends.
Brothers and
sisters
it's only
when we
become
friends of
God
when we
are
transformed
by his
love
when we
are
sanctified
by his
friendly
wounds
that we
are conformed
more and
more to
the likeness
of Jesus
Christ
our
perfect
friend
and it
is only
then
that we
can be
the kinds
of friends
that Proverbs
27 teaches
us to be.
Please take a
moment to
silently reflect
on what
kind of
friend Jesus
has been
to you
and after
some time
reflection
will respond
by praying
out loud
together.