WEBVTT

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 Well, good morning, everyone.

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 Last week, Steve finished his message by saying that next week, Nick is going to get up and tell you everything you need to know about the hard stuff of marriage.

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 He'll have all the answers and then smirked at me where I was sitting.

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 And if you get any kind of introduction like that, you've got to have credentials, right?

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 You might watch a YouTuber or have seen a TED Talk where when they get up, they say, hey, here are my credentials.

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 I've studied this.

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 I've got this relationship.

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 I know these people.

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 I'm the one you need to listen to.

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 Well, today we're talking about the growth of marriage or growing in our marriage.

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 Here are my credentials that you should ignore.

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 I've been married nearly 20 years to the most wonderful person in the room, Sam.

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 I have three beautiful children.

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 And here's what you should hold as credentials.

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 I've made pretty much every mistake you can think of in marriage.

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 And every time someone who is younger than me, and you might think I look young, but I've been married nearly 20 years and I have made so many mistakes.

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 And people who want to get married or have been married for a shorter time than me, when they ask, what should I do in this situation or now?

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 I say, well, I can tell you I've made that mistake.

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 So don't do that.

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 That is the majority of my advice.

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 The credential that I want you to hold on to is the word of God.

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 Because without it, I'm not married for 20 years.

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 Without the grace of God to me, I'm not married.

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 Without my wife's grace to me, I'm not married.

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 Let's pray.

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 Heavenly Father, would you speak to us through your word this morning?

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 And even though we've heard this passage at least five times in this series, please speak to us by your Holy Spirit and change us.

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 Help us who are married to hear this sharp, loving word this morning.

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 And help those of us who are not married to hear it as well.

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 For you love to grow relationships and bring people together as one.

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 For in Christ, we are one.

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 Amen.

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 When I was young, I lived in a place called Pambula Beach.

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 It's right down the far south coast on the beach.

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 For real.

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 And we could kind of see the ocean.

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 It was wonderful.

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 One of the houses a little further up the hill, just behind us, was this house.

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 Hope you can see that.

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 It's pretty quirky looking, right?

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 It's still there all these years later.

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 It's an A-frame house.

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 Two flat walls set on the ground, leaning on each other.

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 Now, I remember going on a walk one morning with my dad.

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 I was pretty small.

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 And I remember pointing out that house.

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 That's weird, dad.

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 Or something like that.

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 And he said, yeah, those houses are built for the mountains.

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 They're built so that ice and snow, when it lands on the roof, slides off.

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 And the roof never falls under its weight.

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 Now, it never snowed by the sea.

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 And that house was so out of place that I remember it vividly.

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 And I want us this morning not to remember that house necessarily, but to hold on to that image,

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 because we're going to come back to it.

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 In the previous weeks in this series on the meaning of marriage,

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 we've heard that the sin of self-centeredness and pride is the main hindrance to every marriage.

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 And if that's true, then without change, all marriages will trend towards ending early.

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 Can we avoid marriage that shrivels into disgust and isolation?

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 How do marriages grow?

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 So today we'll see that if you want a growing marriage, then you need to build an A-frame house.

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 You need two sides for a roof of truth and love and a sure foundation of grace.

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 But leave even one of those out and the A-frame house falls.

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 Christian marriages grow if both spouses are telling and accepting truth,

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 understanding and expressing love, and experiencing reconciling grace.

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 They're my three points this morning.

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 Telling and accepting truth.

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 Why the roof of truth?

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 I remember driving home after my first official date with Sam, my now wife.

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 I remember driving home.

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 I was worried.

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 I wasn't really worried about how it had gone.

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 I was more excited about that.

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 But I was worried about what I'd revealed about myself.

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 Did she see any of my many flaws that I was aware of?

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 My excitement was mixed with fear.

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 And years later, when we were married, I remembered that moment as I was driving down that same road.

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 Sam had just confronted me over the phone about how I always ended arguments whenever I felt like I had won.

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 Shutting her down and hurting her.

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 She was right.

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 As I was driving, I'd wish she hadn't seen that in me.

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 I was prideful.

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 But I just couldn't ignore it.

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 Because I was driving home to her.

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 To face her.

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 You see, when two people get married, their flaws become increasingly unhideable.

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 That's a word.

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 Anytime they're fearful or anxious or proud or inflexible or abrasive, undisciplined, oblivious, impatient, irritable.

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 Their spouse witnesses this.

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 Often bearing the brunt of it.

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 Underneath these flaws are sins.

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 The Christians are called to deal with and not hide.

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 Now, how do you feel when a friend, someone who knows you well, points out a flaw in you?

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 How do you feel?

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 Harmed?

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 Shocked?

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 Grieved?

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 Joyful?

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 Those around us can see our flaws more realistically than even us.

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 And a spouse sees your flaws better than anyone else.

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 They know them best.

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 Some of our flaws we have absorbed into our very identity.

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 They're now part of us.

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 Even if we hide them or try and ignore them, marriage digs them all up.

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 I want you to imagine you're in a hospital and you're so sick that they've got to run tests.

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 Maybe you've got to give blood or go do some scans.

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 And those tests are collated onto charts and they're put at the end of your bed.

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 And you're just lying there waiting for a doctor to appear and read those charts and reveal what is wrong.

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 But did the doctor make you sick?

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 No.

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 But their words carry the truth of what was already wrong with you.

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 Their role is to be the bearer of the bad news so you can heal.

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 Marriage reveals flaws in us rather than create them.

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 How often though do I witness spouses blaming the other for a flaw the other has seen in them?

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 Just as it's the doctor's goal to not be discouraging but to heal,

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 a spouse's truth-telling is for the healing of the other.

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 But unlike the doctor reading that report, our sickness, our flaws are affecting our spouse.

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 The doctor's well.

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 We're sick.

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 And yet in our marriage, our sickness affects our spouse.

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 Let's pick up our passage today.

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 Our key verses are in and around verse 26 there,

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 where it says that a husband's role is to make his spouse holy,

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 cleansing her by the washing of water through the word.

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 Learning to share and receive truth is this washing.

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 Have you given your spouse permission to talk about your flaws?

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 We heard last week that the purpose of Christian marriage is preparing our spouses for eternity with Christ.

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 And that is no small thing.

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 It's lifelong and it's huge.

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 So to do so, we must boldly share what is wrong with our hearts and Bibles open.

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 It also means expecting your spouse to bring your flaws to you.

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 Or confessing them yourself.

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 So that you can grow in holiness.

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 Now, if you are married here today, I'm going to ask you this.

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 Have you ever dreamt about being with someone better?

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 Or do you live in fear that your spouse will find someone better than you?

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 Deal with your fear of truth.

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 And deal with the sin in your spouse and yourself.

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 Your spouse's sin is not them.

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 Your sin is not you.

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 Romans 7.17 is where Paul says that sin lives in us.

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 The Christians are sinful, but counted sinless in Christ.

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 So, perfection in our lives must only ever be expected in Jesus.

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 Not in your spouse.

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 Not in yourself.

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 It's an unreasonable self-expectation to live without flaws.

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 And so, we are called to love the sinner who we marry.

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 To love the sinner we marry, you must together embrace Christ's perfection.

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 And in that light, deal with your sin.

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 In their book, The Meaning of Marriage, Tim and Kathy Keller encourage us to call this spiritual transparency.

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 Spiritual transparency.

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 Many passages in the Bible, like Ephesians 4, 14 and 15,

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 they encourage us to turn from the distractions of our world and the deceptions of the voices around us.

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 Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is Christ.

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 Regular, reciprocal, spiritual transparency.

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 Truth in love grows marriages.

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 So, how can we speak the truth and still love?

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 You may think that the truth only ever hurts.

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 You may think that truth can't change anything, really, in the end.

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 Or that marriage only needs love to thrive.

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 But the work of Christian marriage is to grow, as Steve said last week,

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 grow as bestest friends who speak the truth in love.

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 Understanding and expressing love.

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 We're up to point number two.

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 In the book, The Lord of the Rings, not the movie,

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 in the book, the character Faramir has a lot more to say.

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 There's a lot more screen time in the book than he did in the movie.

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 He's one of my favorite characters.

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 And there's a moment where Samwise, the hobbit who's gone along with Frodo on the journey to destroy the ring,

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 Samwise compliments Faramir for resisting the power of the ring.

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 Faramir accepts this praise by giving his own.

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 Back to Samwise, saying,

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 The praise of the praiseworthy is above all other rewards.

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 But Samwise, too, rejects the ring's power for the greater good.

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 Truthful love and affirmation from the praiseworthy is priceless.

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 Even carrying the power to be healing to us.

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 So, too, when the one you esteem the most, your spouse, praises you with something like,

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 Oh, that's what I love about you.

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 And greater still is when that same spouse who sees your flaws shows you love.

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 Praiseworthy and truthful.

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 We can become more convinced of our own dignity and worth as God's love is poured out on us through those we love who know our sin.

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 Ephesians 5.2 encourages us to walk in the way of love just as Christ loved us and gave himself for us.

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 That mirrors what we just read in today's passage in verse 25.

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 Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.

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 Spouses are to reflect Christ in how we love and give ourselves up.

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 So, speaking the truth in love can only occur in a relationship where both give themselves up to understanding and expressing love toward one another.

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 Here's my big point here.

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 Do you give yourself in love for the benefit of your spouse or for yourself?

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 Do you love your spouse on their terms or yours?

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 Like Christ who showed us the love we needed when he wasn't in need of any love back.

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 He had everything he needed.

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 And yet he showed love to us the way we need it.

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 Sacrificial spouse-centered love is the other side of our roof for a growing marriage.

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 Now, when I was growing up in my hometown in Pambula, this is going to be weird, oysters were currency.

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 Pambula was an oyster farming town.

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 Pambula and Pambula are basically sister villages sitting next to each other.

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 And then there's a beach and that's Pambula Beach.

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 All those places, if you had oysters, you had cash.

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 They were currency.

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 Now, you didn't have to like eating them to trade with someone who did like them.

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 Just show of hands, nice and high, who likes oysters in the room?

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 Okay, please take the photo down for everyone else.

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 Quick, there we go.

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 The way we love is a kind of currency.

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 Sometimes the love currency we receive from someone else is not valuable to us.

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 Love can be given but not received as love.

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 Just like the rest of you feel no value in receiving oysters.

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 Love must be received as love to be understood as love.

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 And so, we need to spend our love using the preferred currency of the one we love.

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 Last week, Steve put up this graphic of C.S. Lewis' four loves.

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 Romantic love, affection love, charity love, friendship love.

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 Another summary of love currencies is the five love languages.

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 You may have heard of that.

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 Words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, physical touch.

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 We all want to be loved in our preferred currency.

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 We give love most naturally in that same currency.

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 But what if our spouse doesn't want to be loved like that?

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 Or doesn't feel loved like that?

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 What if they are inept to loving us in the way we prefer to be loved?

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 What looks like selfishness could in fact be love given in the wrong currency?

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 Are you willing to tell your spouse how you most want to be loved?

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 Or are you willing to exchange your dollars for oysters

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 to ensure that your spouse experiences your love to them,

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 even if you don't understand or appreciate it?

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 Embrace your spouse with the love they love.

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 And I encourage you, this might be your next step.

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 It might take some vulnerability and bravery to ask,

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 but ask, how may I grow in how I show my love to you?

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 They might say, show me affection.

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 And then I encourage you to give more of your time,

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 your nearness, assurance.

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 Play or participate in some side-by-side activities with them.

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 Write them cards or letters.

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 Make more of celebrations with them.

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 Be playful.

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 Tell them how you feel out loud.

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 Avoid being harsh.

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 And if they say, friendship,

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 do things together that your spouse loves.

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 Ask them questions and listen.

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 Reflectively answer their questions.

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 Learn more about their work and appreciate it.

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 Their hobbies and their interests.

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 And work toward becoming their emotional refuge.

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 And if they say, I want you to serve me more.

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 Well, then do the change that they ask for.

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 Put aside yourself for the sake of your marriage

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 and take note of the service they affirm in you

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 and then keep doing it.

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 Worship together in church

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 and be generous together.

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 The Kellers say that

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 if your spouse does not feel

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 like you are putting them first,

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 then by definition, you aren't.

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 And here's one warning sign

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 that you may need to grow

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 in love toward your spouse.

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 Do you have a pseudo-spouse?

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 A pseudo-spouse is a person

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 or a pursuit

00:22:10.259 --> 00:22:12.819
 where you give and receive more love

00:22:12.819 --> 00:22:14.659
 than with your spouse.

00:22:17.139 --> 00:22:18.539
 Challenge your disbelief

00:22:18.539 --> 00:22:20.919
 that truth and love can grow

00:22:20.920 --> 00:22:22.320
 and reject

00:22:22.320 --> 00:22:25.740
 whatever your pseudo-spouse is,

00:22:26.100 --> 00:22:27.000
 them or it,

00:22:27.480 --> 00:22:28.680
 for the sake of your marriage.

00:22:30.840 --> 00:22:33.640
 Truth and love are the roof

00:22:33.640 --> 00:22:36.840
 for a growing Christian marriage.

00:22:36.980 --> 00:22:38.580
 But what if you find yourself

00:22:38.580 --> 00:22:39.400
 in a marriage

00:22:39.400 --> 00:22:42.200
 with one and not the other?

00:22:44.060 --> 00:22:46.259
 There's truth in your marriage without love.

00:22:47.240 --> 00:22:48.460
 Or there's love in your marriage

00:22:48.460 --> 00:22:49.680
 without truth.

00:22:50.920 --> 00:22:54.620
 Well, truth without love

00:22:54.620 --> 00:22:55.860
 is dangerous

00:22:55.860 --> 00:22:57.400
 because it can leave

00:22:57.400 --> 00:22:59.180
 a spouse weakened.

00:23:00.259 --> 00:23:02.259
 Without their spouse's love

00:23:02.259 --> 00:23:04.420
 to aid in their recovery

00:23:04.420 --> 00:23:06.200
 and encourage them

00:23:06.200 --> 00:23:07.220
 to grow

00:23:07.220 --> 00:23:09.440
 out of their failures

00:23:09.440 --> 00:23:11.180
 or worse,

00:23:12.779 --> 00:23:13.840
 truth is used

00:23:13.840 --> 00:23:15.200
 as a method of control,

00:23:16.320 --> 00:23:16.800
 shame,

00:23:16.799 --> 00:23:18.299
 power.

00:23:20.700 --> 00:23:21.220
 Truth,

00:23:21.740 --> 00:23:24.480
 that's truth without love.

00:23:26.839 --> 00:23:28.180
 Anger is often used

00:23:28.180 --> 00:23:29.740
 as a cover for truth.

00:23:31.680 --> 00:23:33.359
 Anger isn't always the problem,

00:23:34.379 --> 00:23:35.639
 but anger must be

00:23:35.639 --> 00:23:37.599
 like a steak,

00:23:38.879 --> 00:23:39.259
 salted

00:23:39.259 --> 00:23:40.819
 so it won't go bad,

00:23:41.720 --> 00:23:42.059
 salted

00:23:42.059 --> 00:23:43.460
 with truth,

00:23:43.460 --> 00:23:46.660
 never weaponized

00:23:46.660 --> 00:23:47.480
 to control

00:23:47.480 --> 00:23:48.519
 or hurt

00:23:48.519 --> 00:23:49.799
 because that is abuse,

00:23:50.400 --> 00:23:51.460
 not truth

00:23:51.460 --> 00:23:52.420
 and love.

00:23:53.960 --> 00:23:55.100
 Truth hurts

00:23:55.100 --> 00:23:56.140
 and won't heal

00:23:56.140 --> 00:23:57.880
 without love.

00:23:57.880 --> 00:23:58.880
 love.

00:23:58.880 --> 00:24:01.820
 But by the same

00:24:01.820 --> 00:24:02.760
 understanding,

00:24:02.980 --> 00:24:04.220
 love without truth

00:24:04.220 --> 00:24:06.100
 is similarly damaging.

00:24:08.220 --> 00:24:09.020
 Keeping the peace

00:24:09.020 --> 00:24:12.240
 is more about

00:24:12.240 --> 00:24:13.420
 avoiding truth

00:24:13.420 --> 00:24:15.360
 than being loving.

00:24:15.359 --> 00:24:19.419
 It leads to

00:24:19.419 --> 00:24:20.379
 shallow relationships

00:24:20.379 --> 00:24:21.219
 based on

00:24:21.219 --> 00:24:22.039
 surface level

00:24:22.039 --> 00:24:22.939
 affirmations

00:24:22.939 --> 00:24:24.240
 that hide

00:24:24.240 --> 00:24:25.279
 deeper bitterness

00:24:25.279 --> 00:24:26.359
 and griefs.

00:24:27.639 --> 00:24:28.419
 Without revealing

00:24:28.419 --> 00:24:29.719
 or discovering truth

00:24:29.719 --> 00:24:31.359
 and spouses

00:24:31.359 --> 00:24:32.099
 knowing

00:24:32.099 --> 00:24:33.479
 and working

00:24:33.479 --> 00:24:34.619
 on their flaws,

00:24:35.179 --> 00:24:35.579
 marriages

00:24:35.579 --> 00:24:36.719
 will end up

00:24:36.719 --> 00:24:37.259
 built

00:24:37.259 --> 00:24:38.639
 on false

00:24:38.639 --> 00:24:39.500
 love.

00:24:41.839 --> 00:24:42.279
 Eventually,

00:24:42.500 --> 00:24:42.819
 the truth

00:24:42.819 --> 00:24:43.500
 will come out

00:24:43.500 --> 00:24:44.720
 either

00:24:44.720 --> 00:24:45.759
 in great

00:24:45.759 --> 00:24:46.180
 sin

00:24:46.180 --> 00:24:48.359
 or explosions

00:24:48.359 --> 00:24:48.980
 of bitterness

00:24:48.980 --> 00:24:50.940
 or the complete

00:24:50.940 --> 00:24:51.859
 dissolving

00:24:51.859 --> 00:24:52.599
 of a marriage.

00:24:53.319 --> 00:24:53.599
 Love

00:24:53.599 --> 00:24:54.599
 without truth

00:24:54.599 --> 00:24:55.240
 is

00:24:55.240 --> 00:24:55.940
 shallow

00:24:55.940 --> 00:24:57.059
 love.

00:24:58.019 --> 00:24:58.559
 And you might

00:24:58.559 --> 00:24:59.559
 be sitting here

00:24:59.559 --> 00:25:00.039
 thinking,

00:25:00.720 --> 00:25:02.720
 how?

00:25:04.200 --> 00:25:05.259
 How am I

00:25:05.259 --> 00:25:05.759
 supposed to be

00:25:05.759 --> 00:25:06.259
 brave enough

00:25:06.259 --> 00:25:07.240
 to tell my

00:25:07.240 --> 00:25:07.880
 spouse about

00:25:07.880 --> 00:25:08.460
 their sin

00:25:08.460 --> 00:25:10.339
 or my

00:25:10.339 --> 00:25:11.000
 own failures?

00:25:11.000 --> 00:25:13.359
 how am I

00:25:13.359 --> 00:25:13.839
 supposed to

00:25:13.839 --> 00:25:14.220
 find the

00:25:14.220 --> 00:25:14.599
 strength

00:25:14.599 --> 00:25:15.160
 to ask

00:25:15.160 --> 00:25:15.400
 them

00:25:15.400 --> 00:25:16.240
 to love

00:25:16.240 --> 00:25:16.400
 me

00:25:16.400 --> 00:25:16.700
 better

00:25:16.700 --> 00:25:19.259
 or handle

00:25:19.259 --> 00:25:19.880
 hearing them

00:25:19.880 --> 00:25:20.240
 ask the

00:25:20.240 --> 00:25:20.640
 same of

00:25:20.640 --> 00:25:20.940
 me?

00:25:23.039 --> 00:25:24.059
 We need

00:25:24.059 --> 00:25:24.960
 a foundation

00:25:24.960 --> 00:25:25.940
 for truth

00:25:25.940 --> 00:25:26.880
 and love

00:25:26.880 --> 00:25:27.700
 that will

00:25:27.700 --> 00:25:28.680
 not fall

00:25:28.680 --> 00:25:29.400
 under such

00:25:29.400 --> 00:25:29.839
 a weight.

00:25:32.279 --> 00:25:33.200
 We need

00:25:33.200 --> 00:25:35.559
 to experience

00:25:35.559 --> 00:25:36.779
 reconciling

00:25:36.779 --> 00:25:37.660
 grace.

00:25:40.539 --> 00:25:41.420
 One last

00:25:41.420 --> 00:25:41.779
 Tim and

00:25:41.779 --> 00:25:42.039
 Kathy

00:25:42.039 --> 00:25:42.299
 Keller

00:25:42.299 --> 00:25:42.660
 quote

00:25:42.660 --> 00:25:43.420
 because it's

00:25:43.420 --> 00:25:43.799
 brilliant.

00:25:45.480 --> 00:25:46.079
 Only if

00:25:46.079 --> 00:25:46.460
 we are

00:25:46.460 --> 00:25:47.339
 very good

00:25:47.339 --> 00:25:48.339
 at forgiving

00:25:48.339 --> 00:25:50.279
 and repenting

00:25:50.279 --> 00:25:51.759
 can truth

00:25:51.759 --> 00:25:52.379
 and love

00:25:52.379 --> 00:25:53.480
 be kept

00:25:53.480 --> 00:25:54.099
 together.

00:25:55.099 --> 00:25:55.420
 This is

00:25:55.420 --> 00:25:55.839
 crucial.

00:25:56.279 --> 00:25:56.700
 Only if

00:25:56.700 --> 00:25:57.240
 we become

00:25:57.240 --> 00:25:57.799
 very good

00:25:57.799 --> 00:25:58.319
 at forgiving

00:25:58.319 --> 00:25:59.319
 and repenting

00:25:59.319 --> 00:26:00.160
 can truth

00:26:00.160 --> 00:26:00.700
 and love

00:26:00.700 --> 00:26:01.519
 be kept

00:26:01.519 --> 00:26:02.220
 together.

00:26:02.859 --> 00:26:03.200
 Such

00:26:03.200 --> 00:26:03.639
 grace

00:26:03.640 --> 00:26:04.960
 must

00:26:04.960 --> 00:26:05.600
 exist

00:26:05.600 --> 00:26:06.020
 in a

00:26:06.020 --> 00:26:06.400
 marriage

00:26:06.400 --> 00:26:06.840
 as a

00:26:06.840 --> 00:26:07.180
 shared

00:26:07.180 --> 00:26:07.780
 commitment

00:26:07.780 --> 00:26:10.020
 to repent

00:26:10.020 --> 00:26:10.860
 of sin.

00:26:12.000 --> 00:26:12.460
 Choose

00:26:12.460 --> 00:26:13.080
 to forgive

00:26:13.080 --> 00:26:15.060
 and reconcile

00:26:15.060 --> 00:26:16.140
 by the

00:26:16.140 --> 00:26:16.560
 power

00:26:16.560 --> 00:26:17.680
 of God.

00:26:18.800 --> 00:26:19.220
 Ephesians

00:26:19.220 --> 00:26:19.680
 4

00:26:19.680 --> 00:26:20.620
 32

00:26:20.620 --> 00:26:21.180
 says

00:26:21.180 --> 00:26:22.180
 be kind

00:26:22.180 --> 00:26:22.860
 and compassionate

00:26:22.860 --> 00:26:23.380
 to one

00:26:23.380 --> 00:26:23.720
 another

00:26:23.720 --> 00:26:24.400
 forgiving

00:26:24.400 --> 00:26:25.140
 each other

00:26:25.140 --> 00:26:26.480
 just as

00:26:26.480 --> 00:26:27.380
 in Christ

00:26:27.380 --> 00:26:28.440
 God

00:26:28.440 --> 00:26:28.800
 forgave

00:26:28.800 --> 00:26:29.100
 you.

00:26:29.099 --> 00:26:32.279
 do you

00:26:32.279 --> 00:26:33.179
 see how

00:26:33.179 --> 00:26:34.879
 grace

00:26:34.879 --> 00:26:35.399
 in the

00:26:35.399 --> 00:26:35.779
 forgiveness

00:26:35.779 --> 00:26:36.399
 of God

00:26:36.399 --> 00:26:37.159
 in Christ

00:26:37.159 --> 00:26:38.379
 is our

00:26:38.379 --> 00:26:39.059
 power

00:26:39.059 --> 00:26:39.939
 for

00:26:39.939 --> 00:26:40.339
 forgiveness?

00:26:42.219 --> 00:26:43.159
 Just as

00:26:43.159 --> 00:26:43.419
 our

00:26:43.419 --> 00:26:44.299
 motivation

00:26:44.299 --> 00:26:44.859
 to share

00:26:44.859 --> 00:26:45.439
 the truth

00:26:45.439 --> 00:26:46.319
 and give

00:26:46.319 --> 00:26:46.899
 love

00:26:46.899 --> 00:26:47.939
 flows from

00:26:47.939 --> 00:26:48.980
 Christ

00:26:48.980 --> 00:26:49.879
 giving himself

00:26:49.879 --> 00:26:50.339
 up for

00:26:50.339 --> 00:26:50.879
 us

00:26:50.879 --> 00:26:53.619
 so he

00:26:53.619 --> 00:26:53.980
 is our

00:26:53.980 --> 00:26:54.439
 source

00:26:54.439 --> 00:26:55.099
 of the

00:26:55.099 --> 00:26:55.480
 power

00:26:55.480 --> 00:26:56.539
 to forgive

00:26:56.539 --> 00:26:57.079
 for he

00:26:57.079 --> 00:26:57.440
 is the

00:26:57.440 --> 00:26:57.839
 only

00:26:57.839 --> 00:26:58.559
 perfect

00:26:58.559 --> 00:26:59.359
 person

00:26:59.359 --> 00:27:00.259
 and yet

00:27:00.259 --> 00:27:02.379
 while

00:27:02.379 --> 00:27:03.980
 undeserving

00:27:03.980 --> 00:27:05.000
 of the

00:27:05.000 --> 00:27:05.460
 punishment

00:27:05.460 --> 00:27:05.980
 of hell

00:27:05.980 --> 00:27:07.019
 for sin

00:27:07.019 --> 00:27:07.759
 he

00:27:07.759 --> 00:27:08.519
 graciously

00:27:08.519 --> 00:27:08.980
 offers

00:27:08.980 --> 00:27:10.159
 to exchange

00:27:10.159 --> 00:27:11.240
 that

00:27:11.240 --> 00:27:11.720
 perfect

00:27:11.720 --> 00:27:12.200
 life

00:27:12.200 --> 00:27:12.819
 that is

00:27:12.819 --> 00:27:13.259
 his

00:27:13.259 --> 00:27:14.879
 freely

00:27:14.879 --> 00:27:16.440
 with

00:27:16.440 --> 00:27:16.879
 your

00:27:16.879 --> 00:27:17.359
 life

00:27:17.359 --> 00:27:17.819
 of sin

00:27:17.819 --> 00:27:20.779
 with

00:27:20.779 --> 00:27:21.339
 anyone

00:27:21.339 --> 00:27:22.500
 who

00:27:22.500 --> 00:27:22.659
 would

00:27:22.659 --> 00:27:22.980
 follow

00:27:22.980 --> 00:27:23.359
 him

00:27:23.359 --> 00:27:23.960
 as

00:27:23.960 --> 00:27:24.139
 their

00:27:24.139 --> 00:27:24.519
 risen

00:27:24.519 --> 00:27:25.359
 king

00:27:25.359 --> 00:27:26.500
 in

00:27:26.500 --> 00:27:26.879
 Jesus

00:27:26.879 --> 00:27:27.299
 is

00:27:27.299 --> 00:27:28.099
 complete

00:27:28.099 --> 00:27:28.939
 forgiveness

00:27:28.939 --> 00:27:29.259
 from

00:27:29.259 --> 00:27:29.659
 God

00:27:29.659 --> 00:27:32.000
 and so

00:27:32.000 --> 00:27:32.319
 we

00:27:32.319 --> 00:27:32.539
 who

00:27:32.539 --> 00:27:32.719
 have

00:27:32.719 --> 00:27:33.039
 been

00:27:33.039 --> 00:27:33.779
 forgiven

00:27:33.779 --> 00:27:34.419
 much

00:27:34.419 --> 00:27:35.359
 are

00:27:35.359 --> 00:27:35.959
 empowered

00:27:35.959 --> 00:27:36.679
 to

00:27:36.679 --> 00:27:37.259
 forgive

00:27:37.259 --> 00:27:38.539
 much

00:27:38.539 --> 00:27:42.159
 strangely

00:27:42.159 --> 00:27:44.319
 those

00:27:44.319 --> 00:27:44.740
 we love

00:27:44.740 --> 00:27:45.439
 are often

00:27:45.439 --> 00:27:45.959
 the hardest

00:27:45.959 --> 00:27:46.659
 to forgive

00:27:46.660 --> 00:27:50.980
 this

00:27:50.980 --> 00:27:51.080
 is

00:27:51.080 --> 00:27:51.400
 probably

00:27:51.400 --> 00:27:51.800
 because

00:27:51.800 --> 00:27:52.340
 the harm

00:27:52.340 --> 00:27:52.800
 are done

00:27:52.800 --> 00:27:54.000
 from one

00:27:54.000 --> 00:27:54.840
 spouse's

00:27:54.840 --> 00:27:55.940
 actions

00:27:55.940 --> 00:27:56.460
 against

00:27:56.460 --> 00:27:57.040
 another

00:27:57.040 --> 00:27:57.580
 it

00:27:57.580 --> 00:27:58.060
 just

00:27:58.060 --> 00:27:58.660
 hurts

00:27:58.660 --> 00:27:59.080
 more

00:27:59.080 --> 00:27:59.400
 than

00:27:59.400 --> 00:27:59.840
 everyone

00:27:59.840 --> 00:28:00.320
 else

00:28:00.320 --> 00:28:01.620
 they're

00:28:01.620 --> 00:28:01.860
 meant to

00:28:01.860 --> 00:28:02.160
 love you

00:28:02.160 --> 00:28:02.560
 the most

00:28:02.560 --> 00:28:03.160
 they know

00:28:03.160 --> 00:28:03.420
 you the

00:28:03.420 --> 00:28:03.680
 most

00:28:03.680 --> 00:28:04.080
 and they

00:28:04.080 --> 00:28:04.300
 can do

00:28:04.300 --> 00:28:04.560
 the most

00:28:04.560 --> 00:28:05.000
 damage

00:28:05.000 --> 00:28:06.240
 and so

00:28:06.240 --> 00:28:07.140
 making a

00:28:07.140 --> 00:28:07.680
 choice to

00:28:07.680 --> 00:28:08.120
 forgive

00:28:08.120 --> 00:28:08.960
 such great

00:28:08.960 --> 00:28:09.360
 hurt

00:28:09.360 --> 00:28:10.600
 requires us

00:28:10.600 --> 00:28:11.200
 to grow

00:28:11.200 --> 00:28:12.640
 in grace

00:28:12.640 --> 00:28:14.700
 in mark

00:28:14.700 --> 00:28:15.080
 11

00:28:15.080 --> 00:28:15.840
 25

00:28:15.840 --> 00:28:17.020
 Jesus

00:28:17.020 --> 00:28:17.520
 commands

00:28:17.520 --> 00:28:17.840
 that we

00:28:17.840 --> 00:28:18.460
 choose

00:28:18.460 --> 00:28:19.140
 to

00:28:19.140 --> 00:28:19.540
 forgive

00:28:19.540 --> 00:28:21.380
 even as

00:28:21.380 --> 00:28:21.759
 we pray

00:28:21.759 --> 00:28:22.380
 to God

00:28:22.380 --> 00:28:23.360
 about how

00:28:23.360 --> 00:28:23.540
 we're

00:28:23.540 --> 00:28:23.800
 hurting

00:28:23.800 --> 00:28:25.240
 before

00:28:25.240 --> 00:28:26.140
 we've

00:28:26.140 --> 00:28:26.680
 confronted

00:28:26.680 --> 00:28:27.240
 those

00:28:27.240 --> 00:28:28.320
 who hurt

00:28:28.320 --> 00:28:28.800
 us

00:28:28.800 --> 00:28:29.759
 take note

00:28:29.759 --> 00:28:30.000
 of the

00:28:30.000 --> 00:28:30.300
 order

00:28:30.300 --> 00:28:31.259
 choosing

00:28:31.259 --> 00:28:31.900
 to forgive

00:28:31.900 --> 00:28:32.740
 is the

00:28:32.740 --> 00:28:33.220
 start

00:28:33.220 --> 00:28:35.160
 and then

00:28:35.160 --> 00:28:35.519
 in Matthew

00:28:35.519 --> 00:28:36.240
 18

00:28:36.240 --> 00:28:38.059
 those

00:28:38.059 --> 00:28:39.000
 hurt

00:28:39.000 --> 00:28:40.059
 by sin

00:28:40.059 --> 00:28:41.339
 or witnesses

00:28:41.339 --> 00:28:41.900
 of sin

00:28:41.900 --> 00:28:42.839
 should seek

00:28:42.839 --> 00:28:43.640
 to confront

00:28:43.640 --> 00:28:45.819
 and restore

00:28:45.819 --> 00:28:48.380
 only taking

00:28:48.380 --> 00:28:49.279
 this

00:28:49.279 --> 00:28:50.740
 need for

00:28:50.740 --> 00:28:51.120
 repentance

00:28:51.120 --> 00:28:51.680
 public

00:28:51.680 --> 00:28:53.140
 if this

00:28:53.140 --> 00:28:54.240
 person

00:28:54.240 --> 00:28:54.839
 does not

00:28:54.839 --> 00:28:55.819
 repent

00:28:55.819 --> 00:28:57.299
 sin is to

00:28:57.299 --> 00:28:57.759
 be rooted

00:28:57.759 --> 00:28:58.799
 out in

00:28:58.799 --> 00:28:59.600
 the context

00:28:59.600 --> 00:29:00.079
 of a

00:29:00.079 --> 00:29:00.720
 relationship

00:29:00.720 --> 00:29:02.720
 with

00:29:02.720 --> 00:29:03.200
 forgiveness

00:29:03.200 --> 00:29:06.580
 the goal

00:29:06.580 --> 00:29:07.180
 of confronting

00:29:07.180 --> 00:29:07.640
 a sin

00:29:07.640 --> 00:29:09.180
 or even

00:29:09.180 --> 00:29:10.140
 the potential

00:29:10.140 --> 00:29:11.080
 for sin

00:29:11.080 --> 00:29:12.059
 in someone's

00:29:12.059 --> 00:29:12.440
 life

00:29:12.440 --> 00:29:14.059
 is for

00:29:14.059 --> 00:29:14.680
 reconciliation

00:29:14.680 --> 00:29:15.340
 of that

00:29:15.340 --> 00:29:15.920
 person to

00:29:15.920 --> 00:29:16.279
 God

00:29:16.279 --> 00:29:18.039
 and to

00:29:18.039 --> 00:29:18.400
 you

00:29:18.400 --> 00:29:19.860
 never

00:29:19.860 --> 00:29:20.960
 to punish

00:29:20.960 --> 00:29:22.220
 or control

00:29:22.220 --> 00:29:24.960
 it demands

00:29:24.960 --> 00:29:25.720
 grace from

00:29:25.720 --> 00:29:26.400
 you to

00:29:26.400 --> 00:29:27.059
 bring truth

00:29:27.059 --> 00:29:27.920
 in love

00:29:27.920 --> 00:29:28.440
 and it

00:29:28.440 --> 00:29:29.180
 demands grace

00:29:29.180 --> 00:29:30.100
 in them

00:29:30.100 --> 00:29:31.319
 to receive

00:29:31.319 --> 00:29:32.100
 truth

00:29:32.100 --> 00:29:33.180
 in love

00:29:33.180 --> 00:29:35.120
 unforgiving

00:29:35.120 --> 00:29:35.799
 spouses

00:29:35.799 --> 00:29:36.900
 cannot

00:29:36.900 --> 00:29:37.759
 bear

00:29:37.759 --> 00:29:38.720
 the truth

00:29:38.720 --> 00:29:40.799
 and so

00:29:40.799 --> 00:29:41.440
 withhold

00:29:41.440 --> 00:29:42.220
 grace

00:29:42.220 --> 00:29:43.560
 and such

00:29:43.560 --> 00:29:44.100
 a house

00:29:44.100 --> 00:29:44.980
 cannot

00:29:44.980 --> 00:29:45.660
 stand

00:29:45.660 --> 00:29:46.680
 it'll fall

00:29:46.680 --> 00:29:47.420
 under the

00:29:47.420 --> 00:29:47.759
 weight

00:29:47.759 --> 00:29:50.440
 so

00:29:50.440 --> 00:29:51.519
 we need

00:29:51.519 --> 00:29:51.880
 to grow

00:29:51.880 --> 00:29:52.440
 in the power

00:29:52.440 --> 00:29:53.000
 of grace

00:29:53.000 --> 00:29:53.620
 in our

00:29:53.620 --> 00:29:54.060
 marriage

00:29:54.060 --> 00:29:55.720
 how do

00:29:55.720 --> 00:29:56.080
 we do

00:29:56.080 --> 00:29:56.440
 that

00:29:56.440 --> 00:29:57.779
 the answer

00:29:57.779 --> 00:29:58.180
 is

00:29:58.180 --> 00:29:59.360
 grow in

00:29:59.360 --> 00:29:59.880
 humility

00:29:59.880 --> 00:30:02.080
 God

00:30:02.080 --> 00:30:02.400
 did not

00:30:02.400 --> 00:30:03.120
 ask us

00:30:03.120 --> 00:30:04.060
 to earn

00:30:04.060 --> 00:30:04.360
 our

00:30:04.360 --> 00:30:04.980
 spouse's

00:30:04.980 --> 00:30:05.340
 love

00:30:05.340 --> 00:30:05.820
 back

00:30:05.820 --> 00:30:07.620
 when we

00:30:07.620 --> 00:30:08.180
 fail in

00:30:08.180 --> 00:30:08.700
 our marriage

00:30:08.700 --> 00:30:09.580
 but to

00:30:09.580 --> 00:30:10.100
 repent

00:30:10.100 --> 00:30:11.120
 and ask

00:30:11.120 --> 00:30:12.080
 for forgiveness

00:30:12.079 --> 00:30:14.359
 this mirrors

00:30:14.359 --> 00:30:15.000
 Christ

00:30:15.000 --> 00:30:15.879
 who did

00:30:15.879 --> 00:30:16.619
 not demand

00:30:16.619 --> 00:30:17.679
 people earn

00:30:17.679 --> 00:30:18.119
 their way

00:30:18.119 --> 00:30:18.539
 back

00:30:18.539 --> 00:30:19.240
 into God's

00:30:19.240 --> 00:30:19.579
 love

00:30:19.579 --> 00:30:21.500
 but he

00:30:21.500 --> 00:30:22.019
 became

00:30:22.019 --> 00:30:23.199
 their way

00:30:23.199 --> 00:30:23.599
 to be

00:30:23.599 --> 00:30:23.960
 forgiven

00:30:23.960 --> 00:30:25.720
 we're to

00:30:25.720 --> 00:30:26.099
 humbly

00:30:26.099 --> 00:30:26.579
 embody

00:30:26.579 --> 00:30:27.099
 this in

00:30:27.099 --> 00:30:27.279
 our

00:30:27.279 --> 00:30:27.659
 marriage

00:30:27.659 --> 00:30:28.720
 grace

00:30:28.720 --> 00:30:29.559
 from God

00:30:29.559 --> 00:30:31.460
 is reflected

00:30:31.460 --> 00:30:32.220
 through

00:30:32.220 --> 00:30:32.779
 us

00:30:32.779 --> 00:30:33.879
 not

00:30:33.879 --> 00:30:34.639
 created

00:30:34.639 --> 00:30:36.119
 by us

00:30:36.119 --> 00:30:37.159
 to be

00:30:37.159 --> 00:30:38.119
 reconciled

00:30:38.119 --> 00:30:39.500
 any hostility

00:30:39.500 --> 00:30:40.240
 needs to be

00:30:40.240 --> 00:30:40.700
 dealt

00:30:40.700 --> 00:30:41.859
 with

00:30:41.859 --> 00:30:44.000
 with grace

00:30:44.000 --> 00:30:45.319
 by both

00:30:45.319 --> 00:30:46.039
 spouses

00:30:46.039 --> 00:30:47.779
 the wrongdoer

00:30:47.779 --> 00:30:48.180
 needs to

00:30:48.180 --> 00:30:48.539
 repent

00:30:48.539 --> 00:30:48.960
 and ask

00:30:48.960 --> 00:30:49.500
 for forgiveness

00:30:49.500 --> 00:30:51.119
 while the

00:30:51.119 --> 00:30:51.740
 wronged

00:30:51.740 --> 00:30:52.680
 needs to

00:30:52.680 --> 00:30:53.039
 choose

00:30:53.039 --> 00:30:53.500
 forgiveness

00:30:53.500 --> 00:30:55.279
 accept

00:30:55.279 --> 00:30:56.259
 their spouse's

00:30:56.259 --> 00:30:56.700
 repentance

00:30:56.700 --> 00:30:58.299
 and grow

00:30:58.299 --> 00:30:58.720
 in their

00:30:58.720 --> 00:30:59.240
 reliance

00:30:59.240 --> 00:31:00.140
 on Christ's

00:31:00.140 --> 00:31:00.400
 grace

00:31:00.400 --> 00:31:00.940
 to them

00:31:00.940 --> 00:31:02.200
 to be

00:31:02.200 --> 00:31:03.019
 their power

00:31:03.019 --> 00:31:04.259
 to forgive

00:31:04.259 --> 00:31:05.980
 to be

00:31:05.980 --> 00:31:06.640
 their power

00:31:06.640 --> 00:31:07.619
 to show

00:31:07.619 --> 00:31:08.140
 grace

00:31:08.140 --> 00:31:09.680
 there is

00:31:09.680 --> 00:31:10.180
 no

00:31:10.180 --> 00:31:10.700
 earning

00:31:10.700 --> 00:31:11.220
 back

00:31:11.220 --> 00:31:12.060
 love

00:31:12.060 --> 00:31:12.500
 in

00:31:12.500 --> 00:31:12.920
 marriage

00:31:12.920 --> 00:31:14.080
 according

00:31:14.080 --> 00:31:14.560
 to God

00:31:14.560 --> 00:31:17.259
 God's

00:31:17.259 --> 00:31:17.680
 plan

00:31:17.680 --> 00:31:19.259
 we are

00:31:19.259 --> 00:31:19.900
 to forgive

00:31:19.900 --> 00:31:21.480
 and confront

00:31:21.480 --> 00:31:23.500
 and or

00:31:23.500 --> 00:31:24.020
 repent

00:31:24.020 --> 00:31:24.780
 and ask

00:31:24.780 --> 00:31:25.320
 for forgiveness

00:31:25.320 --> 00:31:26.720
 and both

00:31:26.720 --> 00:31:27.880
 need to

00:31:27.880 --> 00:31:28.259
 humbly

00:31:28.259 --> 00:31:28.880
 pursue

00:31:28.880 --> 00:31:30.180
 reconciliation

00:31:30.180 --> 00:31:32.160
 Ephesians 4

00:31:32.160 --> 00:31:32.680
 verse 2

00:31:32.680 --> 00:31:33.100
 says

00:31:33.100 --> 00:31:33.840
 be

00:31:33.840 --> 00:31:34.640
 completely

00:31:34.640 --> 00:31:35.200
 humble

00:31:35.200 --> 00:31:36.500
 and gentle

00:31:36.500 --> 00:31:37.880
 be patient

00:31:37.880 --> 00:31:39.259
 bearing

00:31:39.259 --> 00:31:39.740
 with one

00:31:39.740 --> 00:31:40.099
 another

00:31:40.099 --> 00:31:41.400
 in love

00:31:41.400 --> 00:31:43.759
 growing

00:31:43.759 --> 00:31:44.460
 in humility

00:31:44.460 --> 00:31:45.279
 alongside

00:31:45.279 --> 00:31:46.519
 patience

00:31:46.519 --> 00:31:47.259
 and gentleness

00:31:47.259 --> 00:31:48.039
 both fruits

00:31:48.039 --> 00:31:48.539
 of the Holy

00:31:48.539 --> 00:31:49.079
 Spirit

00:31:49.079 --> 00:31:50.960
 is how

00:31:50.960 --> 00:31:51.640
 we grow

00:31:51.640 --> 00:31:52.440
 in grace

00:31:52.440 --> 00:31:53.720
 love

00:31:53.720 --> 00:31:55.220
 to bear

00:31:55.220 --> 00:31:55.759
 with

00:31:55.759 --> 00:31:57.059
 your own

00:31:57.059 --> 00:31:57.819
 sinful

00:31:57.819 --> 00:31:58.299
 self

00:31:58.299 --> 00:31:59.539
 and your

00:31:59.539 --> 00:32:00.079
 spouse

00:32:00.079 --> 00:32:00.900
 isn't

00:32:00.900 --> 00:32:01.380
 possible

00:32:01.380 --> 00:32:02.380
 without

00:32:02.380 --> 00:32:03.660
 humility

00:32:03.660 --> 00:32:03.820
 humility

00:32:03.820 --> 00:32:07.320
 now here

00:32:07.320 --> 00:32:07.600
 are two

00:32:07.600 --> 00:32:07.980
 warnings

00:32:07.980 --> 00:32:08.320
 really

00:32:08.320 --> 00:32:09.019
 briefly

00:32:09.019 --> 00:32:10.420
 don't

00:32:10.420 --> 00:32:10.900
 over

00:32:10.900 --> 00:32:11.500
 humiliate

00:32:11.500 --> 00:32:11.960
 yourself

00:32:11.960 --> 00:32:12.500
 into

00:32:12.500 --> 00:32:12.800
 self

00:32:12.800 --> 00:32:13.200
 loathing

00:32:13.200 --> 00:32:14.840
 you may

00:32:14.840 --> 00:32:15.180
 raise

00:32:15.180 --> 00:32:15.840
 your spouse's

00:32:15.840 --> 00:32:16.340
 opinion

00:32:16.340 --> 00:32:17.200
 of you

00:32:17.200 --> 00:32:19.240
 so highly

00:32:19.240 --> 00:32:20.560
 that you

00:32:20.560 --> 00:32:21.060
 never speak

00:32:21.060 --> 00:32:21.620
 the truth

00:32:21.620 --> 00:32:22.060
 of your

00:32:22.060 --> 00:32:22.620
 failures

00:32:22.620 --> 00:32:24.720
 or spend

00:32:24.720 --> 00:32:25.080
 your life

00:32:25.080 --> 00:32:25.820
 trying to

00:32:25.820 --> 00:32:26.200
 earn

00:32:26.200 --> 00:32:26.880
 their

00:32:26.880 --> 00:32:27.279
 forgiveness

00:32:27.279 --> 00:32:28.320
 even if

00:32:28.320 --> 00:32:28.720
 they offer

00:32:28.720 --> 00:32:29.300
 it freely

00:32:29.300 --> 00:32:30.660
 that is not

00:32:30.660 --> 00:32:31.300
 humility

00:32:31.299 --> 00:32:32.539
 that is the

00:32:32.539 --> 00:32:33.180
 fear of

00:32:33.180 --> 00:32:33.519
 losing

00:32:33.519 --> 00:32:34.019
 love

00:32:34.019 --> 00:32:34.700
 that

00:32:34.700 --> 00:32:35.619
 eats up

00:32:35.619 --> 00:32:36.379
 truth

00:32:36.379 --> 00:32:39.019
 and don't

00:32:39.019 --> 00:32:40.039
 under humble

00:32:40.039 --> 00:32:40.759
 yourself

00:32:40.759 --> 00:32:41.919
 into self

00:32:41.919 --> 00:32:43.159
 exaltation

00:32:43.159 --> 00:32:44.119
 either

00:32:44.119 --> 00:32:46.099
 even subtly

00:32:46.099 --> 00:32:47.240
 lowering your

00:32:47.240 --> 00:32:48.159
 spouse's value

00:32:48.159 --> 00:32:49.180
 below your

00:32:49.180 --> 00:32:49.639
 own

00:32:49.639 --> 00:32:51.319
 never really

00:32:51.319 --> 00:32:51.799
 giving your

00:32:51.799 --> 00:32:52.059
 love

00:32:52.059 --> 00:32:52.559
 that's not

00:32:52.559 --> 00:32:53.119
 humility

00:32:53.119 --> 00:32:53.700
 that is

00:32:53.700 --> 00:32:54.240
 pride

00:32:54.240 --> 00:32:54.839
 wielding

00:32:54.839 --> 00:32:55.279
 truth

00:32:55.279 --> 00:32:56.299
 that eats

00:32:56.299 --> 00:32:56.639
 up

00:32:56.639 --> 00:32:57.559
 love

00:32:57.559 --> 00:33:00.240
 see how

00:33:00.240 --> 00:33:00.819
 each side

00:33:00.819 --> 00:33:01.159
 need to

00:33:01.159 --> 00:33:01.679
 work together

00:33:01.679 --> 00:33:01.980
 here

00:33:01.980 --> 00:33:04.019
 instead

00:33:04.019 --> 00:33:05.159
 see yourself

00:33:05.159 --> 00:33:05.639
 rightly

00:33:05.639 --> 00:33:06.119
 through the

00:33:06.119 --> 00:33:06.480
 gospel

00:33:06.480 --> 00:33:08.019
 humiliated

00:33:08.019 --> 00:33:08.879
 and exalted

00:33:08.879 --> 00:33:09.819
 in Christ

00:33:09.819 --> 00:33:12.099
 we are

00:33:12.099 --> 00:33:12.539
 so

00:33:12.539 --> 00:33:13.500
 evil

00:33:13.500 --> 00:33:14.659
 and sinful

00:33:14.659 --> 00:33:15.779
 and flawed

00:33:15.779 --> 00:33:16.619
 that Jesus

00:33:16.619 --> 00:33:18.480
 had to die

00:33:18.480 --> 00:33:19.519
 for us

00:33:19.519 --> 00:33:20.759
 and

00:33:20.759 --> 00:33:21.940
 we are

00:33:21.940 --> 00:33:22.839
 so loved

00:33:22.839 --> 00:33:23.740
 that the

00:33:23.740 --> 00:33:24.079
 son of

00:33:24.079 --> 00:33:24.419
 God was

00:33:24.419 --> 00:33:24.980
 willing to

00:33:24.980 --> 00:33:25.500
 do that

00:33:25.500 --> 00:33:27.259
 he exalts

00:33:27.259 --> 00:33:27.759
 you

00:33:27.759 --> 00:33:28.920
 to his

00:33:28.920 --> 00:33:29.319
 place

00:33:29.319 --> 00:33:30.059
 with God

00:33:30.059 --> 00:33:31.279
 as

00:33:31.279 --> 00:33:32.359
 you achieve

00:33:32.359 --> 00:33:33.140
 nothing

00:33:33.140 --> 00:33:34.119
 to earn

00:33:34.119 --> 00:33:34.460
 it

00:33:34.460 --> 00:33:38.599
 a key

00:33:38.599 --> 00:33:39.000
 verse

00:33:39.000 --> 00:33:40.799
 in chapter

00:33:40.799 --> 00:33:41.599
 525

00:33:41.599 --> 00:33:42.440
 of Ephesians

00:33:42.440 --> 00:33:42.880
 says

00:33:42.880 --> 00:33:43.880
 Christ loved

00:33:43.880 --> 00:33:44.339
 the church

00:33:44.339 --> 00:33:44.819
 and gave

00:33:44.819 --> 00:33:45.619
 himself up

00:33:45.619 --> 00:33:46.180
 for her

00:33:46.180 --> 00:33:47.539
 it's the

00:33:47.539 --> 00:33:47.960
 ultimate

00:33:47.960 --> 00:33:48.720
 display

00:33:48.720 --> 00:33:49.880
 of humility

00:33:49.880 --> 00:33:52.940
 our sins

00:33:52.940 --> 00:33:53.640
 hurt Jesus

00:33:53.640 --> 00:33:54.259
 infinitely

00:33:54.259 --> 00:33:54.680
 more

00:33:54.680 --> 00:33:57.080
 then our

00:33:57.080 --> 00:33:57.700
 spouse's

00:33:57.700 --> 00:33:58.200
 sins

00:33:58.200 --> 00:33:59.380
 hurt us

00:33:59.380 --> 00:34:00.620
 yet Jesus

00:34:00.620 --> 00:34:01.519
 died

00:34:01.519 --> 00:34:02.380
 so we

00:34:02.380 --> 00:34:02.740
 could be

00:34:02.740 --> 00:34:03.140
 forgiven

00:34:03.140 --> 00:34:05.420
 and

00:34:05.420 --> 00:34:06.380
 so we

00:34:06.380 --> 00:34:06.580
 could

00:34:06.580 --> 00:34:06.980
 humbly

00:34:06.980 --> 00:34:07.519
 forgive

00:34:07.519 --> 00:34:11.059
 so see

00:34:11.059 --> 00:34:11.639
 yourself

00:34:11.639 --> 00:34:12.539
 and your

00:34:12.539 --> 00:34:13.000
 spouse

00:34:13.000 --> 00:34:14.019
 in light

00:34:14.019 --> 00:34:14.440
 of the

00:34:14.440 --> 00:34:14.800
 gospel

00:34:14.800 --> 00:34:15.599
 humbled

00:34:15.599 --> 00:34:16.539
 and exalted

00:34:16.539 --> 00:34:18.200
 in Christ

00:34:18.200 --> 00:34:20.099
 the goal

00:34:20.099 --> 00:34:21.059
 of grace

00:34:21.059 --> 00:34:21.760
 from spouse

00:34:21.760 --> 00:34:22.260
 to spouse

00:34:22.260 --> 00:34:22.840
 must be

00:34:22.840 --> 00:34:23.520
 revealed

00:34:23.520 --> 00:34:24.360
 in truth

00:34:24.360 --> 00:34:25.240
 and love

00:34:25.240 --> 00:34:25.820
 that humbles

00:34:25.820 --> 00:34:26.300
 both

00:34:26.300 --> 00:34:27.300
 in failure

00:34:27.300 --> 00:34:28.480
 and forgiveness

00:34:28.480 --> 00:34:29.840
 this

00:34:29.840 --> 00:34:31.260
 shared act

00:34:31.260 --> 00:34:32.100
 of humility

00:34:32.100 --> 00:34:33.680
 breaks apart

00:34:33.680 --> 00:34:34.980
 unresolved

00:34:34.980 --> 00:34:35.520
 sin

00:34:35.520 --> 00:34:36.720
 and lack

00:34:36.720 --> 00:34:37.140
 of love

00:34:37.140 --> 00:34:37.560
 to make

00:34:37.560 --> 00:34:38.440
 reconciliation

00:34:38.440 --> 00:34:40.120
 and healing

00:34:40.120 --> 00:34:40.840
 possible

00:34:40.840 --> 00:34:41.600
 even

00:34:41.600 --> 00:34:42.600
 inevitable

00:34:42.599 --> 00:34:46.279
 when we

00:34:46.279 --> 00:34:46.819
 fail each

00:34:46.819 --> 00:34:47.159
 other in

00:34:47.159 --> 00:34:47.559
 marriage

00:34:47.559 --> 00:34:48.539
 practice

00:34:48.539 --> 00:34:49.039
 sharing

00:34:49.039 --> 00:34:49.500
 truth

00:34:49.500 --> 00:34:50.339
 showing

00:34:50.339 --> 00:34:50.779
 love

00:34:50.779 --> 00:34:52.119
 and choosing

00:34:52.119 --> 00:34:53.199
 forgiveness

00:34:53.199 --> 00:34:54.360
 as you

00:34:54.360 --> 00:34:55.019
 embrace the

00:34:55.019 --> 00:34:55.460
 grace of

00:34:55.460 --> 00:34:55.839
 Christ

00:34:55.839 --> 00:34:57.000
 together

00:34:57.000 --> 00:34:58.940
 now you

00:34:58.940 --> 00:34:59.299
 might be in

00:34:59.299 --> 00:34:59.619
 this room

00:34:59.619 --> 00:35:00.219
 today and

00:35:00.219 --> 00:35:00.519
 you're not

00:35:00.519 --> 00:35:01.019
 yet married

00:35:01.019 --> 00:35:02.079
 or you're

00:35:02.079 --> 00:35:02.579
 no longer

00:35:02.579 --> 00:35:03.119
 married

00:35:03.119 --> 00:35:04.739
 but you

00:35:04.739 --> 00:35:05.239
 can carry

00:35:05.239 --> 00:35:05.799
 the blueprint

00:35:05.799 --> 00:35:06.299
 of this

00:35:06.299 --> 00:35:07.139
 a-frame house

00:35:07.139 --> 00:35:07.719
 of truth

00:35:07.719 --> 00:35:08.239
 and love

00:35:08.239 --> 00:35:08.860
 and grace

00:35:08.860 --> 00:35:10.260
 into any

00:35:10.260 --> 00:35:11.320
 friendship

00:35:11.320 --> 00:35:12.160
 any

00:35:12.160 --> 00:35:13.240
 relationship

00:35:13.240 --> 00:35:14.400
 life-giving

00:35:14.400 --> 00:35:14.840
 Christian

00:35:14.840 --> 00:35:15.400
 friendships

00:35:15.400 --> 00:35:16.059
 are built

00:35:16.059 --> 00:35:17.220
 off the

00:35:17.220 --> 00:35:17.440
 same

00:35:17.440 --> 00:35:18.000
 blueprints

00:35:18.000 --> 00:35:21.320
 and if you

00:35:21.320 --> 00:35:21.620
 aren't a

00:35:21.620 --> 00:35:21.940
 Christian

00:35:21.940 --> 00:35:23.660
 why not

00:35:23.660 --> 00:35:24.200
 consider

00:35:24.200 --> 00:35:25.099
 building your

00:35:25.099 --> 00:35:25.519
 marriage

00:35:25.519 --> 00:35:26.380
 with

00:35:26.380 --> 00:35:27.079
 Jesus

00:35:27.079 --> 00:35:28.660
 marriage is

00:35:28.660 --> 00:35:29.099
 better with

00:35:29.099 --> 00:35:29.680
 Jesus at the

00:35:29.680 --> 00:35:30.160
 heart of it

00:35:30.160 --> 00:35:31.599
 so consider

00:35:31.599 --> 00:35:32.180
 following

00:35:32.180 --> 00:35:32.880
 Jesus

00:35:32.880 --> 00:35:35.320
 such a

00:35:35.320 --> 00:35:35.700
 gracious

00:35:35.700 --> 00:35:36.260
 saviour

00:35:36.260 --> 00:35:37.320
 and rest

00:35:37.320 --> 00:35:37.860
 your life

00:35:37.860 --> 00:35:38.440
 on him

00:35:38.440 --> 00:35:41.240
 and if

00:35:41.240 --> 00:35:41.860
 you are

00:35:41.860 --> 00:35:42.480
 the lone

00:35:42.480 --> 00:35:42.980
 Christian

00:35:42.980 --> 00:35:44.200
 in your

00:35:44.200 --> 00:35:44.639
 marriage

00:35:44.639 --> 00:35:47.119
 or you're

00:35:47.119 --> 00:35:47.340
 in a

00:35:47.340 --> 00:35:47.720
 marriage

00:35:47.720 --> 00:35:48.760
 where your

00:35:48.760 --> 00:35:49.340
 spouse will

00:35:49.340 --> 00:35:50.119
 not participate

00:35:50.119 --> 00:35:52.320
 in truth

00:35:52.320 --> 00:35:53.820
 or love

00:35:53.820 --> 00:35:55.019
 or grace

00:35:55.019 --> 00:35:56.820
 take heart

00:35:56.820 --> 00:35:59.740
 your role

00:35:59.740 --> 00:36:00.099
 in your

00:36:00.099 --> 00:36:00.679
 marriage can

00:36:00.679 --> 00:36:01.380
 still bring

00:36:01.380 --> 00:36:02.059
 growth

00:36:02.059 --> 00:36:04.579
 as you

00:36:04.579 --> 00:36:05.220
 display the

00:36:05.220 --> 00:36:05.679
 grace of

00:36:05.679 --> 00:36:06.220
 Christ in

00:36:06.220 --> 00:36:06.599
 forgiving

00:36:06.599 --> 00:36:08.480
 as you

00:36:08.480 --> 00:36:09.000
 seek to

00:36:09.000 --> 00:36:09.420
 love your

00:36:09.420 --> 00:36:10.000
 spouse

00:36:10.000 --> 00:36:10.699
 as they

00:36:10.699 --> 00:36:11.339
 receive it

00:36:11.339 --> 00:36:12.239
 and as you

00:36:12.239 --> 00:36:13.019
 bravely share

00:36:13.019 --> 00:36:13.519
 the truth

00:36:13.519 --> 00:36:14.400
 with them

00:36:14.400 --> 00:36:15.799
 you display

00:36:15.799 --> 00:36:16.440
 the grace

00:36:16.440 --> 00:36:17.920
 and love

00:36:17.920 --> 00:36:20.960
 of the

00:36:20.960 --> 00:36:21.440
 truth

00:36:21.440 --> 00:36:22.960
 you display

00:36:22.960 --> 00:36:23.599
 the grace

00:36:23.599 --> 00:36:24.019
 and love

00:36:24.019 --> 00:36:24.559
 of the

00:36:24.559 --> 00:36:25.019
 truth

00:36:25.019 --> 00:36:25.619
 Christ

00:36:25.619 --> 00:36:26.659
 himself

00:36:26.659 --> 00:36:28.019
 to your

00:36:28.019 --> 00:36:28.480
 spouse

00:36:28.480 --> 00:36:29.880
 build what

00:36:29.880 --> 00:36:30.539
 you can

00:36:30.539 --> 00:36:32.599
 empowered

00:36:32.599 --> 00:36:33.440
 by Christ

00:36:33.440 --> 00:36:34.519
 who gave

00:36:34.519 --> 00:36:35.240
 himself up

00:36:35.240 --> 00:36:36.320
 for you

00:36:36.320 --> 00:36:40.059
 one day

00:36:40.059 --> 00:36:41.260
 Jesus told

00:36:41.260 --> 00:36:42.039
 the Pharisees

00:36:42.039 --> 00:36:43.220
 married

00:36:43.220 --> 00:36:43.760
 Christians

00:36:43.760 --> 00:36:46.420
 will join

00:36:46.420 --> 00:36:47.480
 him in

00:36:47.480 --> 00:36:47.860
 heaven

00:36:47.860 --> 00:36:49.200
 and marriage

00:36:49.200 --> 00:36:49.760
 will be

00:36:49.760 --> 00:36:50.400
 no more

00:36:50.400 --> 00:36:52.460
 married

00:36:52.460 --> 00:36:53.619
 or single

00:36:53.619 --> 00:36:55.199
 all who

00:36:55.199 --> 00:36:55.440
 love

00:36:55.440 --> 00:36:55.920
 Christ

00:36:55.920 --> 00:36:56.659
 more than

00:36:56.659 --> 00:36:57.519
 any other

00:36:57.519 --> 00:36:58.239
 will be

00:36:58.239 --> 00:36:58.920
 reunited

00:36:58.920 --> 00:37:00.359
 to him

00:37:00.359 --> 00:37:01.259
 as one

00:37:01.259 --> 00:37:02.339
 and until

00:37:02.339 --> 00:37:02.719
 then

00:37:02.719 --> 00:37:04.759
 a married

00:37:04.759 --> 00:37:05.319
 man and

00:37:05.319 --> 00:37:05.559
 woman

00:37:05.559 --> 00:37:06.139
 become

00:37:06.139 --> 00:37:07.420
 one flesh

00:37:07.420 --> 00:37:08.079
 our passage

00:37:08.079 --> 00:37:09.319
 today says

00:37:09.319 --> 00:37:10.900
 one flesh

00:37:10.900 --> 00:37:12.519
 in a

00:37:12.519 --> 00:37:13.039
 oneness

00:37:13.039 --> 00:37:13.940
 that is much

00:37:13.940 --> 00:37:14.400
 more than

00:37:14.400 --> 00:37:15.279
 just sex

00:37:15.279 --> 00:37:16.119
 which is often

00:37:16.119 --> 00:37:17.279
 what we think

00:37:17.279 --> 00:37:18.059
 that means

00:37:18.059 --> 00:37:19.440
 oneness

00:37:19.440 --> 00:37:20.159
 in Christian

00:37:20.159 --> 00:37:20.679
 marriage

00:37:20.679 --> 00:37:21.759
 grows

00:37:21.759 --> 00:37:22.719
 as spouses

00:37:22.719 --> 00:37:23.599
 fulfill their

00:37:23.599 --> 00:37:23.980
 roles

00:37:23.980 --> 00:37:24.519
 which Steve

00:37:24.519 --> 00:37:24.879
 is going to

00:37:24.879 --> 00:37:25.279
 talk about

00:37:25.279 --> 00:37:25.839
 next week

00:37:25.839 --> 00:37:26.399
 there we go

00:37:26.399 --> 00:37:26.819
 that's my

00:37:26.819 --> 00:37:27.219
 handball

00:37:27.219 --> 00:37:27.579
 of that

00:37:27.579 --> 00:37:31.399
 those spouses

00:37:31.399 --> 00:37:32.139
 grow

00:37:32.139 --> 00:37:33.059
 in their

00:37:33.059 --> 00:37:33.539
 oneness

00:37:33.539 --> 00:37:34.119
 in their

00:37:34.119 --> 00:37:34.759
 one flesh

00:37:34.759 --> 00:37:35.419
 together

00:37:35.419 --> 00:37:36.500
 as they

00:37:36.500 --> 00:37:37.000
 build an

00:37:37.000 --> 00:37:37.419
 a-frame

00:37:37.419 --> 00:37:37.799
 house

00:37:37.799 --> 00:37:38.480
 of truth

00:37:38.480 --> 00:37:39.419
 and love

00:37:39.419 --> 00:37:40.559
 and grace

00:37:40.559 --> 00:37:41.879
 in Christ

00:37:41.879 --> 00:37:43.639
 let's pray

00:37:43.639 --> 00:37:45.099
 heavenly

00:37:45.099 --> 00:37:45.739
 father we

00:37:45.739 --> 00:37:46.679
 need your

00:37:46.679 --> 00:37:47.299
 grace in

00:37:47.299 --> 00:37:47.879
 our lives

00:37:47.879 --> 00:37:49.559
 please

00:37:49.559 --> 00:37:50.239
 holy spirit

00:37:50.239 --> 00:37:51.459
 would you

00:37:51.459 --> 00:37:52.239
 grow us

00:37:52.239 --> 00:37:54.839
 so that we

00:37:54.839 --> 00:37:55.399
 may love

00:37:55.399 --> 00:37:57.899
 so that we

00:37:57.899 --> 00:37:58.339
 may share

00:37:58.339 --> 00:37:58.839
 truth

00:37:58.839 --> 00:37:59.599
 in love

00:37:59.599 --> 00:38:02.019
 help us

00:38:02.019 --> 00:38:02.419
 to be a

00:38:02.419 --> 00:38:02.699
 people

00:38:02.699 --> 00:38:03.659
 who display

00:38:03.659 --> 00:38:05.619
 the love

00:38:05.619 --> 00:38:06.299
 and grace

00:38:06.299 --> 00:38:07.079
 of Christ

00:38:07.079 --> 00:38:09.739
 we need

00:38:09.739 --> 00:38:10.119
 your help

00:38:10.119 --> 00:38:10.519
 in this

00:38:10.519 --> 00:38:11.339
 in our

00:38:11.339 --> 00:38:11.719
 marriages

00:38:11.719 --> 00:38:12.819
 in our

00:38:12.819 --> 00:38:13.399
 relationships

00:38:13.399 --> 00:38:16.459
 we thank

00:38:16.459 --> 00:38:16.839
 you that

00:38:16.839 --> 00:38:17.619
 you love

00:38:17.619 --> 00:38:19.379
 us

00:38:19.380 --> 00:38:21.140
 and that

00:38:21.140 --> 00:38:21.400
 you will

00:38:21.400 --> 00:38:21.840
 help us

00:38:21.840 --> 00:38:22.200
 in this

00:38:22.200 --> 00:38:22.840
 amen

00:38:22.840 --> 00:38:25.240
 to be

00:38:25.240 --> 00:38:25.240


00:38:25.240 --> 00:38:25.240


00:38:25.240 --> 00:38:25.240


00:38:25.240 --> 00:38:25.740
 to be

00:38:25.740 --> 00:38:26.840
 to be

00:38:26.840 --> 00:38:27.300
 to be

00:38:27.300 --> 00:38:27.300


00:38:27.300 --> 00:38:28.000
 a

00:38:28.000 --> 00:38:28.380
!

00:38:28.380 --> 00:38:29.160
 to be