How difficult is it for you to forgive people?
I'm talking about when somebody really hurts you,
sins against you, intentionally.
How would you describe the way you go about forgiving?
Is your forgiveness based on your emotions?
Is it according to how you feel at the time toward that person?
Or is your forgiveness based on a commitment to forgive
regardless of how you really feel about it?
I want you to think about this one.
Is your forgiveness conditional or unconditional?
And then does your forgiveness,
does it include restoring the relationship?
Once they have sought your forgiveness,
you tell them you've forgiven.
Does your idea carry you to be reconciled?
Or restore the relationship to where it was before the problem arose?
We're going to answer those questions this morning
as we look at how Paul describes forgiveness in Colossians chapter 3.
Forgiving people is one of the ways that we are to live in this world
as God's special people.
We've been looking at that the last couple of weeks
in Colossians chapter 3, verses 12 through 14 in particular.
We've been talking about how all of this
showing compassion,
being patient with people,
bearing with people,
and today forgiving people.
This all really falls under the umbrella of loving people.
If we have the love of Christ within us,
we'll be compelled by the Spirit of God who lives in us
to live this way,
to treat people this way.
Well, today we're going to spend all of our time
looking at how we are to forgive others
based on the way God has forgiven us
as explained in Colossians chapter 3, verse 13,
and a very similar verse
in Ephesians chapter 4, verse 32.
I'm going to put both verses on the screen.
Here's the first one.
If one has a complaint against another,
forgiving each other,
as the Lord has forgiven you,
so you also must forgive.
And then Ephesians 4, verse 32.
Be kind to one another,
tenderhearted,
forgiving one another,
as God in Christ forgave you.
It's real clear, isn't it,
that Paul's telling us
that we should forgive others
in the same way that God forgives us.
So what we need to do to start with
is think about,
look at what the Bible says about
how God forgives us.
Let's do that.
First, God's forgiveness is gracious,
but it's costly.
Let's look at what that means.
God's forgiveness is gracious.
That means it's undeserved.
Grace is God's undeserved favor.
We have all sinned against God.
We've disobeyed His commandments.
We've not lived life
the way that He's told us to,
or we've lived life
the opposite of how He's told us to.
Well, the Bible says
it's a penalty for sin.
Sin is breaking God's commandments.
The Bible says
that the penalty for sin is death,
and ultimately that is
separation from God
for all eternity in hell.
So,
that's what we deserve.
From God's perspective,
and He's real clear in the Bible,
we have sinned by disobeying Him,
breaking His commandments.
And He has declared
that the penalty for sin
is death.
So,
God would be just.
He would be right.
He would be fair
from His perspective,
which is the ultimate
and the right perspective.
God would be just
and right and fair
to just say,
you've always wanted to live
your way
instead of my way.
So,
after we die,
He just sort of says,
well,
you just continue on
living life your way
instead of my way.
And that's hell.
Living apart from God.
Now,
God would be just
in doing that.
It'd be like sort of
we reap what we've sown.
But God didn't just sit back
and let us reap
what we've sown
in this way.
He didn't just sit back
and let justice run its course.
God chose
to be gracious
and provide a way
for us to be forgiven
of our sins
and not have to be punished.
I want you to look at
two of the verses,
two verses that point out
how God provided a way
by grace,
undeserved totally,
for us to be forgiven.
Look at Ephesians 2, 8.
For by grace
you've been saved
through faith.
And this is not
your own doing,
it's the gift of God.
And then in Romans 3.
For all have sinned
and fall short
of the glory of God
and are justified
by His grace
as a gift
through the redemption
that is in Christ Jesus.
Here's what we're
trying to think about.
How does God forgive?
Well,
God's forgiveness
is gracious
it is totally undeserved.
Keep that in mind.
But it doesn't mean
that God ignores our sin.
It doesn't mean
that God says,
ah, it really doesn't matter,
just let it go.
No, God's forgiveness
is very costly.
God so loved
people like us
that He sent His Son
into this world
to pay the penalty
for our sins
through His death
on the cross.
Look at how John
describes this.
In this is love.
Not that we have loved God
but that He loved us
and sent His Son
to be the propitiation
for our sins.
That word propitiation
is never used
outside of the Bible,
is it?
And a lot of translations
translate it a different way.
The NIV calls it
atoning sacrifice.
Well, here's what it means.
Jesus experienced
the full wrath of God
as He hung on the cross.
Look at it.
For our sins.
We've sinned against God.
The penalty for sin
is death.
Ultimately,
it's separation from God.
As Jesus hung on the cross,
God unleashed
His just
and righteous wrath
against sin.
And Jesus cried out,
My God, my God,
why have you forsaken me?
He was experiencing
that wrath.
He was experiencing God
as the wrath giver,
not His Father
at that time.
That's why He cried out,
My God, my God,
why have you forsaken me?
A little bit later on
from the cross,
He cried out,
It is finished.
Which means He
took the wrath
fully.
He completely
paid the penalty
for our sins.
It's over
and done with.
God graciously
offers
this costly forgiveness
to all
who will accept it
on His terms.
That's the second thing
we need to see
about God's forgiveness.
God's forgiveness
is conditional.
We must first
repent of our sin
and trust Jesus
as our Savior and Lord.
If God's forgiveness
is unconditional,
it means everybody's safe.
That's universalism.
You don't believe that.
You wouldn't be here today.
The reason to be here today,
if you believe
everybody is saved
because God's
just a good guy
and He just decides
to say,
don't worry about sin
and rebellion
and evil
and wickedness,
just let it go.
No.
God is gracious,
but His forgiveness
is costly.
It costs the death
of His Son.
It is offered to us
as a gift
on the condition
that we repent,
turn from our sin
and trust Jesus
as our Savior and Lord.
Unfortunately,
repentance
is not always emphasized
as it should be
in explaining the gospel,
but repentance
is essential.
I want you to note
how Jesus began
His public ministry.
In the first chapter
of Mark,
Mark says
that Jesus came
into Galilee
proclaiming the gospel
of God and saying
the time is fulfilled
and the kingdom
of God is at hand,
repent and believe
in the gospel.
Paul gave a statement
in Acts chapter 20.
He was talking
to the leaders
of the church
at Ephesus
and he was explaining
what he had been preaching
throughout his ministry.
He explained
how he had called people
to look at it,
repent and believe.
Look at this
from Acts chapter 20.
Paul says,
I have declared
to both Jews
and Greeks
and as he wrote that,
what he meant was
to everybody
under the sun.
I have declared
to both Jews
and Greeks
everywhere I've ever preached
that they must turn
to God in repentance
and have faith
in our Lord Jesus.
Salvation
and forgiveness
of sin
are freely offered
to all
who will
meet
God's condition.
Repentance
and faith.
They go together
like two sides
of one coin.
We must repent
of our sin
in order to be saved.
I want you to look
at how this is explained,
the word repentance
by Wayne Grudem.
A great definition,
comprehensive definition
that explains
really what it is.
Repentance
is a heartfelt sorrow
for sin,
a renouncing
of it,
and a sincere commitment
to forsake it
and walk
in obedience
to Christ.
The idea is
when we hear
the gospel,
whether it's
through preaching,
somebody,
through a personal
conversation,
read the Bible
or whatever,
when we
understand
who Jesus is
and what He's done,
how we can be saved,
God works
in us
to give us
the desire
to repent
of our sin
like this.
If you're
a Christian
right now,
you have
a desire
to turn
from sin,
to renounce
it,
to want to live
life as a
follower,
obedient follower
of Jesus
and not a rebel
against God.
That's a work
of the Spirit
of God.
He gives us
the ability,
the desire
to repent,
turn from our sin,
hate our sin,
and then
trust Jesus
as our Lord
and our Savior.
And I want us
to understand
that saving faith
is an
obeying faith.
We love Jesus.
We trust Jesus.
We want to follow Him.
We want to be like Him.
We want to please Him.
It's like He died
for us,
so we want to live
for Him.
It's a way of expressing
our gratitude
and our love.
So God's forgiveness,
we're talking about
we forgive like God
forgives.
God's forgiveness
is conditional.
It requires
repentance
as well as
faith in Jesus.
Now,
the next aspect
of God's forgiveness
is very comforting.
And some of you,
this may be something
you just need to
take and embrace
and thank God for.
Look at it.
God's forgiveness
includes a commitment
that He will no longer
hold our sins
against us.
He expresses this
in several places
in Scripture
in terms of
not remembering
our sins.
Look at it.
When God forgives,
He promises
to remember
our sins
no more.
The book of Hebrews
records this twice.
Look at it.
For I will forgive
their wickedness
and will remember
their sins
no more.
And then the second quote
is a
word-for-word quote
from Jeremiah 31,
verse 34.
Their sins
and lawless acts
I will remember
no more.
Now,
let's think about
what that means.
If I tell you
that I don't remember
something,
I don't remember it.
And it's embarrassing
sometimes
you may have
told me something
maybe a few months ago.
Let's be honest,
maybe a few weeks ago.
And it comes back up
and there's just
some things
I just don't remember.
It's embarrassing.
I hate it.
But I don't.
That never happens
to God.
God always remembers.
He can't not
know something
past,
present,
or future.
So when the scripture
says that God says
I will remember
no more,
that means
he chooses
to forget,
to lay it aside,
leave it alone,
and not bring it
back up
in our lives.
That's how God
forgives you.
If you are a Christian,
God has forgiven you
of your sin.
You may have done
something that is so
terrible,
awful,
hurtful to someone,
so embarrassing,
humiliating,
shaming,
that you just
have a hard time
letting it go.
Well, I want you
to understand
God doesn't.
He forgives.
He leaves it
in the past.
You need to do that.
If you have truly
come to him
in repentance,
turned from that sin,
leave it
in the past.
Don't
recall it,
relive it,
and don't
carry on
more guilt
because of it.
God forgives.
He cleanses you.
He sets you
free from
the guilt
and the penalty
for that sin.
Let yourself
be that way
and listen to this.
We'll look at it
in more detail
in a moment.
You've got to do
the same for other people.
But this is not
the best part
of forgiveness.
Look at what's next.
God's forgiveness
results in his
reconciling us
to himself.
When God forgives us,
he restores us
to a right relationship
with himself.
He makes us
his children.
That's what
reconciliation's
all about,
restoring a right
relationship.
The Apostle John
comforts us
by stressing
our relationship
to God
is a relationship
between
the father
and children.
Look at it.
See what kind
of love
the father
has given
to us
that we should
be called
children of God
and so we are.
When God
saves us,
forgives us,
he draws us
to himself.
He makes us
his children.
Now,
as Christians,
children of God,
we still sin,
don't we?
We still
disobey.
We still
don't do
everything we
know to do
to please God.
When that happens,
it breaks
our fellowship
with God,
but it does
not destroy
our relationship.
God has promised
in his word,
I will never
leave you
nor forsake you.
God makes
us his,
we are
eternally
his.
We can
count on
that,
but
when we
sin,
it does
interrupt
the closeness
of our
fellowship.
Sometimes
it just
shatters
our fellowship
when we sin
and rebel
against him.
Here's what
we need to
understand.
Even if you
have rebelled
against God,
maybe you're
in that condition
right now,
you can be
forgiven
and have
that fellowship
restored.
One of the
most helpful
verses of
scripture in
the whole
Bible is
1 John
chapter 1
verse 9.
We all
need to
know that
verse,
be thankful
for that
verse.
Look at it.
If we confess
our sins,
he is faithful
and just to
forgive us
our sins
and to
cleanse us
from all
unrighteousness.
as his
children,
we come
to him
in confession.
It means
we agree
with him
about our
sin.
He carries
with it
the idea
of repentance
as well.
We turn
from it
and when
that happens,
when we do
that,
God forgives,
God cleanses
us.
He gives
us a fresh
start.
Now,
genuine
confession
will include
turning from
our sin.
So what I
want us to
see here
is that
in all
cases where
we sin
against God,
our forgiveness
is always
conditional.
We've got to
confess it,
agree with
God about it.
We've got to
repent,
change your
mind,
grieve over
it,
hate it,
turn from
it.
If you are
separated from
God right now
by your sin,
I want you to
know that
God desires
to forgive
you.
No matter
what has
happened,
if you're
not a
Christian,
turn from
your sin,
change your
mind about
it.
And if God's
working in your
heart,
He'll give you
the desire
to do this.
He'll cause
you to hate
it,
to not want
to live
that way.
Put your
faith in
Jesus,
that He
paid the
penalty for
your sin
when He died
on the
cross.
Call upon
Him to
save you
now.
If you
are a
Christian,
but you're
out of
fellowship
with God
this moment,
you don't
have to go
another moment
living that
way.
Confess
your sin.
Turn from
it.
God will
forgive you
now.
He'll
cleanse you
now.
He'll draw
you close
to Himself
now.
He will
give you
a fresh
start as
you leave
here today
as His
child living
in close
fellowship
with Him.
Now,
in light of
what we know
about God's
forgiveness,
let's look at
how we are
supposed to
forgive others.
How are we
to forgive?
Number one,
we are to
forgive graciously
just as God
forgives.
Since God
doesn't require
that we be
deserving
in order for
Him to
forgive us,
we cannot
require that
another person
be deserving
of our
forgiveness.
That means we
can't write
anyone off
with the
attitude,
they have
hurt me so
bad,
the wounds
are so deep,
I just
could never
ever bring
myself to
forgive them.
if that's,
if you're a
Christian,
you cannot
think that
way and be
right with
God.
You can be
wounded deeply,
hurt terribly,
and find it
very, very
difficult to
even think
about forgiving.
If you're a
Christian and
dwell by the
Spirit of
God,
you can
show
grace.
that person,
you never
say they're
worthy.
You don't
pretend they're
not what
they are,
haven't done
what they
did,
but if they
come seeking
genuinely your
forgiveness,
show them
grace.
Show them
grace like
God showed
you.
But like
God's
forgiveness,
our forgiveness
is not
unconditional.
We're to
forgive those
who express
repentance.
This is
probably the
most misunderstood
part of
forgiveness,
but it
shouldn't be.
If we're to
forgive,
think about it,
if we're to
forgive as
God forgives
us,
our forgiveness
is not
automatic.
God's forgiveness
is not
automatic.
God's forgiveness
is dependent on
a person
repenting.
So our
forgiveness is
dependent on
the person who
has wronged
us expressing
repentance.
Jesus taught
the necessity
of repentance
in personal
relationships in
order forgiveness
to be granted.
I want you to
look at Luke
chapter 17.
Luke 17.
Jesus says,
pay attention
to yourselves.
If your
brother sins,
rebuke him.
And if he
repents,
forgive him.
If he sins
against you
seven times
in the day
and turns to
you seven times
saying,
I repent,
you must
forgive him.
Jesus emphasizes
that they
repent
before you
forgive.
There's a
similar passage
in Matthew
chapter 18.
And in
Matthew 18,
Jesus describes
what a lot of
people refer to
as the way
of church
discipline.
But Jesus
just basically
said,
if someone
sins against
you,
go to him,
point out
the error
of his
way.
And if
he'll listen,
if he'll
repent,
if he'll seek
to make
amends,
you've won
your brother
over,
Jesus says.
If he
doesn't,
take two
or three
with you.
Try to get
it worked
out between
the two
or three
of you
and the
offender.
But if
he says
no,
then you
take the
matter to
the church
and if
he's still
hard-hearted
and refuses
to deal
properly with
what the
offense he's
sinned against
you about,
Jesus said
he put him
out.
You look at
him as a
Gentile and a
tax collector,
literally is what
he said,
which means
you just
write him
off because
he's not
repented.
He's not
sought forgiveness.
He's not
sought reconciliation.
Now,
if you're
going to go
to sleep,
don't go
to sleep
now.
Don't just
hear that
and say,
yes,
there's some
people that
will not,
they've wronged
me and they
don't care.
I hate their
guts and he's
just affirmed I
can hate their
guts.
No.
If you
say,
I said that,
I'm going
to look at
you and say,
you are a
liar.
Hear me
clear because
somebody's going
to take this
and say,
I don't have
to worry about
it anymore.
You do.
You can't
just write
someone off
even if they
don't repent.
There is
no license
for Christians
mistreating
other people.
I want you
to look at
how Paul
describes how
we must
respond to
people who
have wronged
us and the
implication is
and they
don't care.
They wronged
us and meant
to and they're
not sorry.
Look at what
Paul says.
It's in Romans
chapter 12,
one of the
great passages
in all the
scripture,
Romans 12,
the whole
chapter about
living a
Christian life,
living a life
to please God.
Here's what
he says.
Repay no one
evil for evil
but give thought
to do what is
honorable in the
sight of all.
If possible,
so far as it
depends on you,
live peaceably
with all.
Beloved,
never avenge
yourselves but
leave it to the
wrath of God.
For it is written,
vengeance is mine,
I will repay,
says the Lord.
To the contrary,
if your enemy is
hungry, feed him.
If he is thirsty,
give him something
to drink.
For by doing so,
you will heap
burning coals on
his head.
Do not be
overcome by evil
but overcome
evil with good.
That's even
towards your enemy,
the one who
doesn't care if
they've hurt you.
If someone
wrongs us
and refuses
to repent,
we are not
obligated to
forgive them
and act as if
everything is
okay,
act as if
it doesn't
matter.
We're not.
But at the
same time,
we're not
allowed to
mistreat them.
Even if they're
unrepentant,
we've got to be
ready and willing
to forgive them
if at some
point they do
repent.
But until
them,
you don't have
to pretend
everything's okay
because it's
not.
But what we
do have to
do is just
trust God
to deal with
them.
This seems to
be Paul's
response to
someone who
wronged him
and did not
repent.
I want you to
look at this.
The Apostle Paul
writing to
Timothy.
He's about to
be executed,
Paul is.
The last letter,
he knows it's
coming.
And in this
letter, he
says,
Alexander the
coppersmith did
me great harm.
The Lord will
repay him
according to
his deeds.
Does that sound
like somebody who
wronged Paul and
was repentant?
Obviously not.
He did me great
harm.
The Lord will
repay him according
to his deeds.
And then he tells
Timothy,
beware of him
yourself for he
strongly opposed
our message.
Paul didn't
think about
Alexander the
coppersmith and
say, well,
it'll be okay.
No.
He's writing to
Timothy and
saying, this guy
did me wrong.
God's going to
take care of him.
Don't you trust
him either.
You be aware of
him.
He is opposed to
me, you, and
the gospel.
He's opposed to
God and God's
word, God's
truth.
So you watch
out.
Now, before we
move on, don't
forget what we
started out saying.
If someone wrongs
you and they do
repent, they do
seek forgiveness,
you've got to
forgive them.
we're obligated to
choose to forgive
them regardless of
how we feel about
it.
Now, let's look at
the next way we
must forgive as God
forgives.
We're to forgive and
no longer hold the
person's sin or
wrongdoing against
them.
Think about this.
Forgiving someone
does not mean that
we'll be able to
forget what happens.
us.
Forgetting does
not mean, or
forgiving rather
does not mean we
will have warm
feelings for
someone, someone
who hurt us,
wronged us.
The Bible, in
talking about
Christian living,
talking about
everything, but in
talking about
Christian living, the
Bible never tells us
to pretend anything.
There are some
people who may have
so hurt you, wounded
you, sinned against
you, that there is
pain to just think
about them.
You don't want to
even look at them.
But if they come to
you and seek your
forgiveness, as
Christians, we are
obligated to grant
forgiveness.
Forgiveness is a
commitment.
It's undeserved.
It's hard, but it's
what God calls us to.
Now, forgiveness is a
commitment that we
make that we will
respond to someone
like this.
I will not bring up
their wrongdoing to
them again.
If you really
forgive your
spouse, this is
where a lot of
this comes up.
If you really
forgive your
spouse, when you
get mad or in the
heat of an
argument, you
can't throw up
what's already been
forgiven and be
right with God.
That's not playing
fair.
That's not how we
as God's people can
treat people.
Forgiveness is a
commitment that says
I'm not going to
dwell on, think
about, keep on
rehearsing what they
did.
I'm going to let it
go.
Forgiveness is a
commitment that says
I will not allow
their wrongdoing to
prevent us from being
reconciled.
And that's the next
point.
We are to forgive and
be reconciled to the
offender.
Forgiving as God
forgives does not
allow us to forgive
someone and then
avoid them for the
rest of our lives.
When we truly
forgive as God
forgives, we will
seek to be reconciled
to the one who
wronged us.
We will seek with
God's help to have
our relationship
restored.
Now, there are some
situations where
reconciliation will
not result in
restored closeness.
Let me give you one
example and you can
take it and apply it
to other situations.
Suppose a man and
woman, husband and
wife, they go through
a bitter divorce.
One deeply wounded and
wronged to the other
one.
They divorce.
They go their
separate ways.
They each remarry.
Well, somewhere down
the road, the one who
was, who did the, who
broke the heart, who
did the wrong, gets
convicted of it.
They've sinned and they
seek God's forgiveness
and they go to their
ex-spouse and admit
their wrong and seek
their forgiveness.
forgiveness.
They better not get
back together as close
as they were when they
were married again.
They can be
reconciled, but their
relationship will not be
restored.
They're already
married.
Forgive, grant
forgiveness, have no
bitterness, but go your
separate ways.
There may be some
situations where you
forgive.
You let it go.
You forgive as God
forgives.
But the situation is
such where it would not
be healthy emotionally,
spiritually, or even
physically for the
relationship to be
restored to what it was
before, the abuse.
for an example that
took place.
But as a general rule,
when we forgive someone,
our goal needs to be
that our relationship
with them is restored.
It may take a lot of
time.
It may take a lot of
prayer.
It may take a lot of
effort on our part.
But full forgiveness
includes reconciliation.
reconciliation.
That's how God forgives.
Now, quickly, when it
comes to the subject of
forgiving others, some
people need to be reminded
that it's not good or
healthy to be a person who
is easily offended.
It's not good or healthy
for you to walk around and
just expect people to hurt
your feelings, to offend
you.
The least little thing
bothers you.
In fact, if everywhere you
go in life, if at church,
in family gatherings, among
your friends at work, if
everywhere you go in life,
you just feel like, I'm a
victim.
I'm always being wronged.
Most likely, you are the
problem.
Here's an important verse
for every single one of us,
but especially if you walk
around with this chip on
your shoulder.
Look at this.
Above all, keep loving one
another earnestly since love
covers a multitude of sins.
There's a lot of things that
takes place between you and
your spouse, you and your
friend, you and people you
work with, people you go to
school with.
There's a lot of things that
happen that sort of bother
you, but you just need to let
it go.
Because it's really not a big
deal.
The person probably didn't
even think about what they
were saying or doing.
Love covers a multitude of
sins.
I'm thankful I've lived in a
home where my wife practices
love covering a multitude of
sins.
I'd have more scars on me than I
have right now if she didn't.
And I'm going to guess by the
looks on some of y'all's
face, you've experienced the
same thing in your house.
We need that.
It's healthy.
But when we are wronged or
sinned against in a serious
way, we are called as God's
people to forgive others just
as God has forgiven us.
Let's pray about it.
Father, I pray for people in
this room right now who do not
have a relationship with you.
People who are not Christians
and they know it.
Help them to understand that you
are a gracious and loving God and
in spite of their sin, their
rebellion, their indifference.
You sent Jesus into this world to
die for them.
While they were still sinners,
Christ died for them, your word
says.
Call them to trust Jesus, to turn
from their sin, to truly repent.
Call them to embrace Jesus as their
Lord and Savior right now, I pray
to your God.
Father, if there are Christians in
this room who, for whatever
reason, there's sin in their
life that has caused a disruption
in their fellowship with you.
Dear God, make it clear to them
that they must humble themselves,
admit their sin, and turn from it
in order to experience your
forgiveness and a restoration to
full fellowship.
But help them, dear God, to know
there's no better way to live, no
better thing for them to do this
morning than to do that very
thing, to confess their sins, to
forsake them, to draw close to you,
to renew their commitment to Jesus
as their Lord and Savior.
And Father, I pray for Christians in
this room who are struggling to
forgive someone in their life right
now.
Father, help them to know that it
very well may be true that they have
been hurt deeply.
But Lord, help them, give them the
grace to be willing to forgive as you
forgive.
Amen.
And just in an attitude of prayer now,
let's just listen to the Lord and
respond to Him.
If I could pray with you during
this time, I would be happy to do
that here at the front.
Amen.
Lewis
Thank you.