WEBVTT 00:00:00.380 --> 00:00:06.339 Would you open up your Bibles to Ephesians chapter 4, Ephesians chapter 4, as you're 00:00:06.339 --> 00:00:06.860 turning there. 00:00:07.419 --> 00:00:13.700 This morning we've got to take stock, we've got to take stock of our talk. 00:00:14.560 --> 00:00:20.160 So if you would open up to Ephesians chapter 4, we're going to look at verses 29 and 30, 00:00:21.260 --> 00:00:23.719 and let me read that for us all. 00:00:25.839 --> 00:00:27.199 This is God's Word. 00:00:30.000 --> 00:00:41.859 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as 00:00:41.859 --> 00:00:47.019 fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. 00:00:48.240 --> 00:00:56.159 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 00:00:56.159 --> 00:01:04.659 Oh God, make this stick in our hearts, and change your speech. 00:01:06.000 --> 00:01:06.299 Amen. 00:01:08.340 --> 00:01:09.560 Taking stock. 00:01:09.560 --> 00:01:19.820 If you've been in retail, you know what it means to take stock, to do some inventory. 00:01:21.100 --> 00:01:27.599 There's usually a time during the year, maybe set times, when a business will check to make 00:01:27.599 --> 00:01:34.439 sure that its inventory on the shelves actually reflects the inventory that's showing up in 00:01:34.439 --> 00:01:40.500 their computer program, just to make sure that there is like real stuff on the shelves. 00:01:43.359 --> 00:01:44.359 Checking the stock. 00:01:44.539 --> 00:01:46.539 Taking stock of your inventory. 00:01:47.799 --> 00:01:52.259 And this morning we're going to take stock of our talk. 00:01:53.319 --> 00:01:55.599 Take stock of what we say. 00:01:55.599 --> 00:02:04.679 Take inventory of what we're taking off the shelves of our heart and sending out the front door 00:02:04.679 --> 00:02:05.500 of our mouths. 00:02:08.060 --> 00:02:10.439 We've got to take stock of what we say. 00:02:12.500 --> 00:02:13.459 Words matter. 00:02:14.579 --> 00:02:15.680 They really do. 00:02:15.680 --> 00:02:22.340 Now, as soon as I start talking this way, I'm guessing some of you may have a little nagging 00:02:22.340 --> 00:02:28.439 feeling going on in your heart, because you already know what we're going to find when 00:02:28.439 --> 00:02:30.939 we do some inventory of our talk. 00:02:32.540 --> 00:02:34.080 It goes something like this. 00:02:35.219 --> 00:02:42.180 We know that out of our one mouth, we bless and we curse. 00:02:42.480 --> 00:02:43.080 James 3. 00:02:43.080 --> 00:02:50.940 We know that with the same lips, we build up people and we tear down people. 00:02:51.120 --> 00:02:52.380 Out of the same lips. 00:02:54.360 --> 00:03:01.439 We know that with the same tongue, we do good for people and we do harm to people. 00:03:02.920 --> 00:03:06.700 Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me. 00:03:07.439 --> 00:03:08.400 It's not true. 00:03:10.260 --> 00:03:11.120 Words matter. 00:03:11.120 --> 00:03:13.719 And they do hurt. 00:03:13.819 --> 00:03:22.800 I mean, we've all watched the impact as hurtful words leave our lips and they make contact 00:03:22.800 --> 00:03:24.280 with someone we love. 00:03:24.700 --> 00:03:27.140 We see the effect, don't we? 00:03:28.500 --> 00:03:29.280 Words matter. 00:03:31.360 --> 00:03:34.319 What we say really does matter to God. 00:03:34.319 --> 00:03:42.359 Our speech must reflect who God has now made us to be in Christ. 00:03:43.019 --> 00:03:45.900 We're new people with new speech. 00:03:47.539 --> 00:03:52.840 Dear brothers and sisters in Christ, God's radically changed who we are. 00:03:52.840 --> 00:03:54.840 We are no longer dead to God. 00:03:54.840 --> 00:03:56.060 We are no longer dead to God. 00:03:56.659 --> 00:04:00.560 But because of what Christ has done on our behalf, we are alive to God. 00:04:01.420 --> 00:04:04.400 And we can speak now in new ways. 00:04:04.939 --> 00:04:14.560 When Jesus claimed us as his own, when he paid for us with his own blood, something radical happened. 00:04:14.560 --> 00:04:19.079 He made a claim on every aspect of our lives. 00:04:21.639 --> 00:04:24.839 Ephesians 1 talks about us being sealed in the spirit. 00:04:25.780 --> 00:04:29.040 The Holy Spirit is like a stamp God places on us. 00:04:29.459 --> 00:04:32.579 And God says, you are now mine, my property. 00:04:33.420 --> 00:04:35.160 And I've purposed you for holiness. 00:04:35.600 --> 00:04:39.259 And I've positioned you to do good to your brothers and sisters in Christ. 00:04:39.259 --> 00:04:43.980 God has done a work in us. 00:04:44.800 --> 00:04:50.159 And now he claims every word that comes out of our mouth. 00:04:50.620 --> 00:04:52.779 He wants it for himself. 00:04:53.959 --> 00:04:55.259 For his purposes. 00:04:56.219 --> 00:04:57.699 For the good of his people. 00:04:59.779 --> 00:05:00.959 It's a big claim. 00:05:02.500 --> 00:05:06.620 God made us alive in Christ so that we could speak to one another 00:05:06.620 --> 00:05:09.740 in a way that's marked by true righteousness and holiness 00:05:09.740 --> 00:05:12.180 to the building up of the body of Christ. 00:05:14.220 --> 00:05:16.139 God's got purpose for our speech. 00:05:18.480 --> 00:05:20.500 Who you are determines how you live. 00:05:21.920 --> 00:05:25.439 And who you are determines every word that comes out of your mouth. 00:05:26.439 --> 00:05:32.800 Our new life in Christ results in a new way of speaking. 00:05:32.800 --> 00:05:38.620 So in verses 29 and 30 here, we are commanded by God. 00:05:38.780 --> 00:05:43.319 We're commanded by God to put something old off. 00:05:43.780 --> 00:05:46.400 And then to put something new on. 00:05:46.920 --> 00:05:48.960 And then he actually tells us why. 00:05:50.019 --> 00:05:52.620 So this morning, three points to the sermon. 00:05:53.340 --> 00:05:56.300 We must say no to old corrupt talk. 00:05:56.300 --> 00:06:01.980 The second point is we must say yes to new gracious, 00:06:02.560 --> 00:06:05.139 building up, edifying speech. 00:06:05.680 --> 00:06:09.080 And then the third thing I want you to see is the reason why. 00:06:10.720 --> 00:06:12.120 And it is profound. 00:06:14.400 --> 00:06:16.120 I can't believe it's in my Bible. 00:06:18.500 --> 00:06:20.000 So let's look at number one. 00:06:20.639 --> 00:06:23.500 We must say no to corrupt talk. 00:06:23.500 --> 00:06:26.600 We've got to stop talking a certain way. 00:06:26.779 --> 00:06:28.399 See that in verse 29? 00:06:29.319 --> 00:06:33.660 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths. 00:06:34.720 --> 00:06:35.839 You can't let it out. 00:06:37.860 --> 00:06:40.699 So we've got to understand what's meant by corrupting, don't we? 00:06:41.600 --> 00:06:43.959 What does the Apostle Paul mean by that? 00:06:44.100 --> 00:06:49.139 Well, the word corrupting is actually used in the New Testament in different places. 00:06:49.139 --> 00:06:54.519 And the other place it shows up is in Matthew chapter 12, when Jesus is speaking. 00:06:55.159 --> 00:06:58.300 And instead of using the word corrupting, he uses the word bad. 00:06:58.519 --> 00:06:59.839 He says it's like this. 00:07:00.519 --> 00:07:03.139 A bad tree produces bad fruit. 00:07:03.459 --> 00:07:05.879 And he goes on to say, but a good tree produces good fruit. 00:07:06.199 --> 00:07:07.879 And then he goes on to say in verse 34, 00:07:08.740 --> 00:07:12.339 out of the abundance of one's heart, the mouth speaks. 00:07:12.339 --> 00:07:18.299 And so what Jesus is brilliantly doing in Matthew 12 is making the relationship, 00:07:18.560 --> 00:07:22.639 making the connection between your heart and your mouth. 00:07:22.899 --> 00:07:25.379 Out of your heart you speak. 00:07:25.699 --> 00:07:28.439 And what Jesus is saying in 1233 is, 00:07:29.059 --> 00:07:32.159 a decaying tree produces rotten fruit. 00:07:34.379 --> 00:07:38.239 A healthy tree produces nourishing fruit. 00:07:38.240 --> 00:07:46.540 And so this word corrupting has a negative connotation to it. 00:07:49.120 --> 00:07:56.259 In antiquity, the word was used of rotting fish. 00:07:58.319 --> 00:08:03.439 My kids and I came across a rotting salmon on the Pike River a couple years ago. 00:08:03.540 --> 00:08:04.340 It was disgusting. 00:08:05.720 --> 00:08:06.720 Virtually useless. 00:08:06.720 --> 00:08:08.400 Couldn't do anything about it. 00:08:08.420 --> 00:08:09.340 Just walk around it. 00:08:09.880 --> 00:08:10.460 Don't smell. 00:08:13.780 --> 00:08:14.380 Corrupting. 00:08:14.900 --> 00:08:18.320 The overriding sense of this word is that it's unhealthy. 00:08:19.860 --> 00:08:21.020 It's unwholesome. 00:08:22.240 --> 00:08:23.400 Even harmful. 00:08:24.900 --> 00:08:25.920 Even destructive. 00:08:29.360 --> 00:08:33.060 And what God is saying here is very, very clear. 00:08:33.059 --> 00:08:37.799 We are not to let any of that kind of speech come out of our mouths. 00:08:39.799 --> 00:08:43.699 We are not to speak in ways that injure others. 00:08:44.159 --> 00:08:46.599 That have ill effects on others. 00:08:48.279 --> 00:08:51.179 Second thing I'd like you to notice is the scope of the command. 00:08:51.939 --> 00:08:55.079 The emphasis here is total incomplete. 00:08:55.080 --> 00:08:59.180 God is saying to us, let none of it come out of your mouth. 00:08:59.980 --> 00:09:00.639 None of it. 00:09:01.440 --> 00:09:03.440 You've got to stop speaking this way. 00:09:05.200 --> 00:09:10.700 It is a clear prohibition by God to us, His people. 00:09:10.700 --> 00:09:16.840 Now, I'm guessing you're starting to wonder, well, what kind of talk are we talking about? 00:09:17.040 --> 00:09:20.480 What is, what are we actually, what kind of talk? 00:09:21.800 --> 00:09:23.500 Well, let me try to help. 00:09:23.860 --> 00:09:25.480 This is by no means exhaustive. 00:09:25.480 --> 00:09:28.860 What is corrupting talk? 00:09:28.980 --> 00:09:31.180 Well, lying is corrupt talk. 00:09:31.620 --> 00:09:35.039 And the Apostle Paul has already talked about that in chapter 4, verse 25. 00:09:35.519 --> 00:09:36.840 Don't let any falsehood. 00:09:36.960 --> 00:09:38.399 Don't spin the truth. 00:09:39.240 --> 00:09:41.060 Speak truthfully to one another. 00:09:41.360 --> 00:09:43.740 And so, lying is destructive. 00:09:45.560 --> 00:09:49.060 But there's other kinds of corrupt talk as well. 00:09:49.820 --> 00:09:51.879 There's threatening speech. 00:09:53.200 --> 00:09:54.220 Intimidating speech. 00:09:54.220 --> 00:09:58.100 You use your words to strike fear into people. 00:10:00.300 --> 00:10:09.259 Now, parents, it is possible for you to motivate your children with threatening speech. 00:10:11.019 --> 00:10:12.660 You threaten harm. 00:10:14.019 --> 00:10:17.759 Now, there's a difference between helping your children think in terms of reaping and sowing. 00:10:17.759 --> 00:10:24.480 There's a difference in helping your children think in terms of consequences to their behavior. 00:10:24.639 --> 00:10:29.700 That if you keep doing this, sweet one, you're going to be disciplined for it, for your good. 00:10:30.559 --> 00:10:34.120 But there's another way of using your speech to threaten. 00:10:35.419 --> 00:10:37.100 To strike fear into someone. 00:10:37.279 --> 00:10:40.279 To force behavior with your words. 00:10:40.279 --> 00:10:44.079 And God says, that's corrupt talk. 00:10:45.159 --> 00:10:46.480 Don't speak that way to your children. 00:10:48.799 --> 00:10:50.240 There's other kinds of speech. 00:10:50.419 --> 00:10:52.699 There is complaining speech. 00:10:53.079 --> 00:10:53.600 Grumbling. 00:10:55.600 --> 00:10:58.899 The people of Israel grumbled when they were in the wilderness. 00:10:59.279 --> 00:11:00.379 And it made God mad. 00:11:00.379 --> 00:11:02.820 Philippians 2.14. 00:11:03.340 --> 00:11:07.439 We are told to do everything without grumbling and questioning. 00:11:07.700 --> 00:11:10.039 Without grumbling and complaining. 00:11:10.480 --> 00:11:15.519 At the heart of a complaining speech is an ungrateful, ungrateful heart. 00:11:17.259 --> 00:11:18.820 And then there's gossip. 00:11:19.200 --> 00:11:21.059 The spreading of rumors. 00:11:21.059 --> 00:11:21.299 Rumors. 00:11:21.939 --> 00:11:26.539 Now a rumor is an unconfirmed account of someone else. 00:11:27.739 --> 00:11:31.099 And what gossips do is they spread rumors about people. 00:11:32.239 --> 00:11:34.519 Oftentimes to someone's injury. 00:11:35.899 --> 00:11:38.839 And we as God's people are not to gossip. 00:11:39.739 --> 00:11:41.379 We are not to spread rumors. 00:11:41.559 --> 00:11:43.239 We're to stop rumors. 00:11:45.139 --> 00:11:46.919 We're not to be gossips. 00:11:48.559 --> 00:11:50.239 We're not to slander. 00:11:50.240 --> 00:11:54.580 Slander is actually a kind of lying. 00:11:56.680 --> 00:12:02.299 It's maliciously speaking untruths about someone else to hurt them. 00:12:03.539 --> 00:12:06.279 Oftentimes it is a slanderous rumor. 00:12:07.560 --> 00:12:08.960 I've been slandered against. 00:12:10.039 --> 00:12:11.139 It's not easy. 00:12:13.620 --> 00:12:15.879 And then there's being vulgar. 00:12:16.659 --> 00:12:19.399 Oftentimes cussing is just vulgar. 00:12:20.240 --> 00:12:21.700 You get shaken up. 00:12:21.759 --> 00:12:22.379 You get angry. 00:12:22.860 --> 00:12:24.940 It's like a can of cuss. 00:12:25.100 --> 00:12:27.259 You shake up and you just want to crack open. 00:12:29.560 --> 00:12:31.080 Oftentimes it's graphic. 00:12:32.019 --> 00:12:36.379 Oftentimes it kind of makes dirty those people who hear. 00:12:36.379 --> 00:12:39.720 It's corrupt talk. 00:12:40.460 --> 00:12:42.919 And God says, no more. 00:12:46.240 --> 00:12:46.879 Sarcasm. 00:12:49.379 --> 00:12:53.439 Sarcasm is a kind of critical speech with a smile. 00:12:53.440 --> 00:12:58.540 It is a sting with a laugh. 00:13:01.080 --> 00:13:02.820 Do you know what etymology is? 00:13:03.020 --> 00:13:04.780 Etymology is the study of words. 00:13:06.060 --> 00:13:10.300 The etymology of the word sarcasm is worth noting. 00:13:10.299 --> 00:13:16.339 Sarcasm at the root of it has a Greek word, sarx, which means flesh. 00:13:17.819 --> 00:13:23.620 And what sarcasm had as its original meaning was to tear the flesh off the bone. 00:13:24.500 --> 00:13:26.039 To rip apart. 00:13:27.039 --> 00:13:32.399 It's a kind of language that doesn't build up, but tears apart. 00:13:32.399 --> 00:13:36.980 It's a corrupt kind of language. 00:13:38.939 --> 00:13:40.139 We got to be careful. 00:13:41.319 --> 00:13:45.600 There's harsh talk when we're rude with other people. 00:13:45.799 --> 00:13:49.279 When we are short and abrupt. 00:13:49.620 --> 00:13:53.120 Oftentimes that comes out of an impatient heart. 00:13:53.120 --> 00:13:56.460 Not easy to hear, is it? 00:13:57.639 --> 00:13:59.379 You should try writing these sermons. 00:14:02.679 --> 00:14:04.200 It's very convicting. 00:14:04.340 --> 00:14:05.139 All week long. 00:14:06.500 --> 00:14:07.860 Do you know what our words reveal? 00:14:08.899 --> 00:14:11.120 Our words reveal our hearts. 00:14:13.580 --> 00:14:18.379 They also reveal our ongoing need for our Savior. 00:14:20.259 --> 00:14:23.080 We're in constant need of Jesus. 00:14:23.120 --> 00:14:31.700 Isn't it good news that our God, by His Spirit, has sealed us for the day of redemption? 00:14:32.580 --> 00:14:35.039 He's marked us as His own. 00:14:35.580 --> 00:14:36.879 We belong to Him. 00:14:37.279 --> 00:14:40.340 Even though we may speak some trash from time to time. 00:14:41.060 --> 00:14:43.360 He loves us no less. 00:14:44.940 --> 00:14:47.460 Nothing can separate you from the love of God in Christ Jesus. 00:14:48.399 --> 00:14:49.680 Not even corrupt talk. 00:14:50.720 --> 00:14:51.440 Isn't that good news? 00:14:53.679 --> 00:14:55.519 Sobering, but good news. 00:14:57.940 --> 00:15:00.539 I hope you understand what God is commanding us this morning. 00:15:01.580 --> 00:15:04.259 We are not to speak a certain way. 00:15:04.259 --> 00:15:08.240 It's the old way of living. 00:15:09.080 --> 00:15:11.360 It's the former manner of self. 00:15:12.279 --> 00:15:14.100 It's not who we are anymore. 00:15:14.100 --> 00:15:21.620 Our new life in Christ results in a new way of speaking. 00:15:22.820 --> 00:15:24.279 So now let's turn there. 00:15:24.279 --> 00:15:27.240 We've looked at the old. 00:15:27.240 --> 00:15:28.959 Let's put it off. 00:15:29.600 --> 00:15:34.779 Now let's see the kind of speech that God is calling us to. 00:15:34.779 --> 00:15:39.000 Ephesians 4.29 says this. 00:15:39.240 --> 00:15:41.839 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths. 00:15:42.459 --> 00:15:47.419 But only such is good for building up as fits the occasion. 00:15:47.419 --> 00:15:50.500 Brothers and sisters, don't forget who you are. 00:15:50.839 --> 00:15:52.339 You've been saved by Jesus. 00:15:52.819 --> 00:15:54.019 You belong to Him. 00:15:54.419 --> 00:15:56.139 You're a new creation in Christ. 00:15:56.479 --> 00:15:58.500 And He calls you to a new way of speaking. 00:15:58.500 --> 00:16:02.559 So the question becomes, how do we speak to one another? 00:16:03.039 --> 00:16:09.799 How do we speak to one another in a way that's marked different in our old way of being? 00:16:10.480 --> 00:16:12.019 Well, it boils down to this. 00:16:12.019 --> 00:16:14.980 We need to be careful how we talk. 00:16:15.579 --> 00:16:19.079 We need to choose our words very carefully. 00:16:20.000 --> 00:16:22.939 This is where it's helpful to have James 1 in your back pocket. 00:16:23.299 --> 00:16:29.500 James says, be quick to listen and slow to speak. 00:16:30.439 --> 00:16:37.539 Because as we are quick to listen, we're actually going to be able to speak better. 00:16:37.539 --> 00:16:47.480 And so we've got three things I want to point you to that are intended to help us speak well. 00:16:49.159 --> 00:16:51.579 We need to choose the right words. 00:16:53.179 --> 00:16:55.839 We need to be sure of the right motive. 00:16:56.899 --> 00:17:00.819 And then we have to speak these words at just the right time. 00:17:01.980 --> 00:17:07.379 So choosing the right words, having the right motive, and speaking at the right time 00:17:07.380 --> 00:17:11.820 and I can point you to your Bible so you can see it all. 00:17:12.760 --> 00:17:14.320 So speaking the right words. 00:17:14.860 --> 00:17:17.500 Do you see the word good in verse 29? 00:17:18.040 --> 00:17:21.680 Let no corrupting talk come out of your words, but only as is good. 00:17:22.040 --> 00:17:22.520 Good. 00:17:23.140 --> 00:17:25.600 Speaking of the quality of words with which we speak. 00:17:26.980 --> 00:17:32.980 It stands in sharp contrast to the corrupt words that we're no longer to use. 00:17:32.980 --> 00:17:40.099 These words that God is calling us to choose carefully and to speak at just the right time. 00:17:40.620 --> 00:17:41.599 They're good words. 00:17:42.759 --> 00:17:44.279 They're true words. 00:17:44.799 --> 00:17:46.200 They're wholesome words. 00:17:47.920 --> 00:17:49.539 They're nourishing words. 00:17:49.960 --> 00:17:51.480 Remember Jesus in Matthew 12? 00:17:51.480 --> 00:17:54.960 Bad trees produce bad fruit. 00:17:56.319 --> 00:17:58.519 Decaying trees produce rotten fruit. 00:17:59.000 --> 00:18:00.640 Good trees produce good fruit. 00:18:01.120 --> 00:18:04.579 Healthy trees produce nourishing fruit. 00:18:04.880 --> 00:18:09.099 And God, by His Spirit, has given you new life in your heart. 00:18:09.160 --> 00:18:10.539 He's given you a new heart. 00:18:11.900 --> 00:18:14.779 And here's what God the Spirit is seeking to do through us. 00:18:14.940 --> 00:18:16.220 This is amazing. 00:18:16.220 --> 00:18:25.220 God the Holy Spirit is seeking to help us pick our words well in order to build the church up. 00:18:26.420 --> 00:18:27.660 God's about it. 00:18:29.380 --> 00:18:32.880 Jesus is seeking to grow His body. 00:18:34.440 --> 00:18:37.140 The Holy Spirit wants us to pick our words well. 00:18:37.880 --> 00:18:39.819 So we've got to be asking the question, 00:18:40.720 --> 00:18:42.759 is this the right word? 00:18:44.559 --> 00:18:45.839 Is this true? 00:18:46.220 --> 00:18:48.640 Is this wholesome? 00:18:50.500 --> 00:18:51.680 Is it going to build? 00:18:53.299 --> 00:18:55.360 So we need to pick our words rightly. 00:18:56.220 --> 00:19:00.180 And then we've got to make sure we have the right motive. 00:19:01.220 --> 00:19:03.279 And so look at back in verse 29. 00:19:03.460 --> 00:19:04.140 We read this. 00:19:06.180 --> 00:19:08.180 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, 00:19:08.180 --> 00:19:14.059 but only such as is good for building up. 00:19:14.059 --> 00:19:18.899 We're to choose words that are to build one another up. 00:19:19.139 --> 00:19:24.379 That little phrase for building up gets at motive. 00:19:25.559 --> 00:19:28.359 Why we speak. 00:19:29.700 --> 00:19:31.960 Why we say what we do. 00:19:31.960 --> 00:19:34.420 And now in Christ, 00:19:34.420 --> 00:19:37.700 we speak for the benefit of others. 00:19:38.240 --> 00:19:40.519 For the building up of others. 00:19:40.779 --> 00:19:42.980 We no longer take with our speech. 00:19:43.240 --> 00:19:45.259 We give grace with our speech. 00:19:45.600 --> 00:19:47.039 That's what Jesus is calling us to. 00:19:48.420 --> 00:19:49.539 In other words, 00:19:49.920 --> 00:19:52.960 we love each other with our words. 00:19:52.960 --> 00:19:57.680 Our new life in Christ results in a new way of speaking. 00:19:57.680 --> 00:20:01.960 We choose good words and we purpose them. 00:20:03.059 --> 00:20:06.680 We speak them in love to build others up. 00:20:07.819 --> 00:20:10.000 We don't speak words that are unloving. 00:20:10.000 --> 00:20:15.740 It's possible to speak true words in an unloving way. 00:20:17.140 --> 00:20:19.599 It's kind of pulling the pin on the truth grenade 00:20:19.599 --> 00:20:21.880 and rolling it in and kind of taking cover. 00:20:24.660 --> 00:20:27.359 We don't necessarily mean it to build up. 00:20:31.140 --> 00:20:33.460 We need to be sure our motive is one of love. 00:20:33.819 --> 00:20:35.759 So the question that we need to be asking ourselves 00:20:35.759 --> 00:20:38.160 as we're picking our words carefully is, 00:20:38.160 --> 00:20:42.519 am I going to say this to build this person up? 00:20:43.680 --> 00:20:46.400 Or am I going to say this to tear them down? 00:20:47.660 --> 00:20:50.040 If it's to tear them down, don't say it. 00:20:51.580 --> 00:20:53.759 So we've looked at picking the right words. 00:20:54.240 --> 00:20:55.880 We've run a motive check. 00:20:55.980 --> 00:20:58.120 And we'll make sure we're doing this for the right reasons. 00:20:58.800 --> 00:21:00.640 And the last thing I want you to see is, 00:21:01.640 --> 00:21:05.060 we've got to speak these things at just the right time. 00:21:05.060 --> 00:21:06.340 You see the little phrase, 00:21:06.519 --> 00:21:07.920 as fits the occasion? 00:21:09.160 --> 00:21:10.600 Proverbs 25, 11, 00:21:10.740 --> 00:21:13.840 a word fitly spoken is like apples of gold 00:21:13.840 --> 00:21:15.060 in a setting of silver. 00:21:15.160 --> 00:21:17.560 Now, I don't really get all that goes into 00:21:17.560 --> 00:21:19.360 apples of gold and setting of silver. 00:21:19.660 --> 00:21:20.800 But I do know this. 00:21:21.200 --> 00:21:23.900 It's got to be good because it's gold and silver. 00:21:24.279 --> 00:21:24.620 Right? 00:21:25.400 --> 00:21:25.880 Right. 00:21:26.400 --> 00:21:29.680 And what the writer of Proverbs is saying is, 00:21:30.019 --> 00:21:33.000 a word that is spoken at just the right time, 00:21:33.000 --> 00:21:34.920 at just the right time, 00:21:35.160 --> 00:21:36.700 is valuable. 00:21:37.619 --> 00:21:38.640 It's good. 00:21:40.160 --> 00:21:40.980 It edifies. 00:21:43.119 --> 00:21:46.119 What we're talking about is choosing our words 00:21:46.119 --> 00:21:49.659 to fit a need. 00:21:50.919 --> 00:21:53.279 Speaking a well-placed word. 00:21:54.399 --> 00:21:55.939 I've been on the receiving end of this. 00:21:55.939 --> 00:21:59.899 And it is just blessing to my soul. 00:21:59.900 --> 00:22:09.100 We're to speak into each other's lives 00:22:09.100 --> 00:22:12.740 in order to build each other up. 00:22:12.740 --> 00:22:16.700 And we need to know what we're speaking into. 00:22:17.680 --> 00:22:20.579 We need to be listeners before we speak. 00:22:21.740 --> 00:22:23.599 We're to love one another with our words. 00:22:24.180 --> 00:22:25.720 Do you like jigsaw puzzles? 00:22:25.720 --> 00:22:31.420 Our family does jigsaw puzzles from time to time. 00:22:33.259 --> 00:22:37.559 And I love it when I finally find that missing piece. 00:22:37.660 --> 00:22:38.500 Do you know what I'm talking about? 00:22:38.799 --> 00:22:41.480 Maybe you've got this little corner down on the left 00:22:41.480 --> 00:22:43.440 and you've got this one piece missing. 00:22:43.759 --> 00:22:45.079 And for like 10 minutes, 00:22:45.140 --> 00:22:48.200 you've been kind of going through the remainder pieces. 00:22:48.500 --> 00:22:49.839 And you're like, this doesn't fit. 00:22:50.220 --> 00:22:51.259 This doesn't fit. 00:22:51.600 --> 00:22:52.579 This doesn't fit. 00:22:52.579 --> 00:22:57.220 And finally, you get one that doesn't fit initially. 00:22:57.439 --> 00:23:00.039 And then you move it and it's like, click. 00:23:00.879 --> 00:23:01.720 A perfect fit. 00:23:02.960 --> 00:23:03.519 Complete. 00:23:04.579 --> 00:23:05.259 Satisfying. 00:23:06.339 --> 00:23:07.179 It's a good fit. 00:23:08.639 --> 00:23:11.699 The Holy Spirit is seeking to use us 00:23:11.699 --> 00:23:14.279 in each other's lives 00:23:14.279 --> 00:23:17.740 to speak words, good words, 00:23:18.079 --> 00:23:20.240 to love each other with our words 00:23:20.240 --> 00:23:24.059 at just the right time. 00:23:25.059 --> 00:23:26.039 To click. 00:23:26.920 --> 00:23:27.940 To fit. 00:23:28.620 --> 00:23:29.700 To complete. 00:23:30.599 --> 00:23:31.620 To build. 00:23:32.380 --> 00:23:33.259 To bless. 00:23:34.700 --> 00:23:36.559 As fits the occasion. 00:23:37.120 --> 00:23:38.779 So we've got to be asking this question. 00:23:39.620 --> 00:23:40.519 Is this word good? 00:23:41.779 --> 00:23:43.400 Am I loving with this word? 00:23:44.140 --> 00:23:45.000 Does it fit? 00:23:45.720 --> 00:23:46.380 Does it fit? 00:23:46.380 --> 00:23:48.760 So we have a brother who's grieving. 00:23:49.360 --> 00:23:50.600 We want to pick words 00:23:50.600 --> 00:23:52.980 that are going to comfort that person. 00:23:53.560 --> 00:23:54.960 We have someone who's discouraged. 00:23:55.460 --> 00:23:59.460 We want to use words to give courage to that person. 00:23:59.760 --> 00:24:01.600 Someone who's overwhelmed or anxious. 00:24:01.780 --> 00:24:05.500 Oftentimes it's a word that needs to calm that person. 00:24:06.340 --> 00:24:06.860 Confused. 00:24:07.060 --> 00:24:08.860 We speak words of clarity. 00:24:09.960 --> 00:24:10.480 Sin. 00:24:10.660 --> 00:24:12.240 We speak words of correction. 00:24:12.780 --> 00:24:14.180 A word of correction is oftentimes 00:24:14.180 --> 00:24:16.140 the most loving thing you can do for somebody. 00:24:17.340 --> 00:24:18.520 Someone stuck. 00:24:18.840 --> 00:24:21.020 You speak a word that compels them. 00:24:22.040 --> 00:24:23.960 Now, when it comes to words, 00:24:24.620 --> 00:24:27.320 there is no substitute for God's word. 00:24:28.860 --> 00:24:30.420 God's word comforts. 00:24:30.760 --> 00:24:32.440 God's word encourages. 00:24:33.260 --> 00:24:34.200 It calms. 00:24:34.420 --> 00:24:35.360 It clarifies. 00:24:35.520 --> 00:24:36.280 It corrects. 00:24:36.380 --> 00:24:37.040 It compels. 00:24:37.040 --> 00:24:37.180 It compels. 00:24:38.160 --> 00:24:40.320 I hope you see what the Holy Spirit 00:24:40.320 --> 00:24:41.740 is seeking to do among us. 00:24:43.240 --> 00:24:46.600 The Holy Spirit is seeking to help us 00:24:46.600 --> 00:24:49.700 pick the right words with the right motive 00:24:49.700 --> 00:24:52.620 and speak them at just the right time 00:24:52.620 --> 00:24:54.460 for the building up of our body, 00:24:55.080 --> 00:24:57.640 for the health of our church. 00:24:57.640 --> 00:25:07.820 this is a work the spirit of God is doing among us he's in it we get a little taste of that back 00:25:07.820 --> 00:25:15.780 in Ephesians 4 5 4 15 and 16 rather speaking the truth in love we are to grow up in every way into 00:25:15.780 --> 00:25:20.540 him who is the head into Christ from whom the whole body joined and held together by every joint with 00:25:20.540 --> 00:25:26.720 which it is equipped when each part is working properly and speaking well makes the body grow 00:25:26.720 --> 00:25:35.339 so that it builds itself up in love so what's at stake here is the ongoing health of our church 00:25:35.339 --> 00:25:42.940 the goodness of our church the well-being of our church and so we need to choose the right words 00:25:42.940 --> 00:25:50.380 we need to choose them and speak them with the right motive at the right time to build the body 00:25:50.380 --> 00:25:57.180 to love one another with our words our new life in Christ results in a new way of speaking 00:25:57.180 --> 00:26:03.860 that builds up the body of Christ now can I just help you think a little bit here imagine a Sunday 00:26:03.860 --> 00:26:09.620 morning here at the building pockets of people before the service after the service and you know 00:26:09.620 --> 00:26:18.120 what they're they're purposing to do to use their words to build one another up to listen well to 00:26:18.119 --> 00:26:24.199 encourage with their words imagine our Wednesday night Bible studies people small groups of people 00:26:24.199 --> 00:26:34.679 gathering eager to bless with their lips friends meeting over coffee seeking to bless husbands and wives in 00:26:34.679 --> 00:26:42.679 marriage using their words to build parents building their children children building their parents 00:26:42.680 --> 00:26:57.320 and a special word to siblings brothers and sisters in the room did you know that God wants you to use your words to bless your brothers and sisters 00:26:57.320 --> 00:27:00.660 we're to love one another with our words 00:27:00.660 --> 00:27:04.519 we're to say yes to a new way of speaking 00:27:04.519 --> 00:27:16.599 well we've looked at what we need to put off we've looked at what we need to put on now let's look at the reason why and we see that in verse 30 00:27:16.599 --> 00:27:28.319 the apostle Paul has already been making a case that we're to speak this new way because of who we are now we're new people and we speak a new way 00:27:28.319 --> 00:27:38.419 he's also made the case that we're to use our words for the benefit of others to bless others for the building up of others but what you need to see here 00:27:38.419 --> 00:27:41.740 is what he says in verse 30 00:27:41.740 --> 00:27:44.319 he says this 00:27:44.319 --> 00:27:47.939 and do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God 00:27:47.939 --> 00:27:52.619 do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God 00:27:52.619 --> 00:27:55.519 by whom you've been sealed for the day of redemption 00:27:55.519 --> 00:27:58.440 do not grieve 00:27:58.440 --> 00:28:00.339 the Holy Spirit of God 00:28:00.339 --> 00:28:03.980 the Holy Spirit of course is the third person of the Trinity 00:28:03.980 --> 00:28:05.900 he is a person 00:28:05.900 --> 00:28:10.759 and what we've learned from Ephesians already is that the moment that we believe 00:28:10.759 --> 00:28:13.759 the Holy Spirit came in and dwelt us 00:28:13.759 --> 00:28:16.839 he sealed us as God's property 00:28:16.839 --> 00:28:19.619 and he's purposed us to be holy 00:28:19.619 --> 00:28:21.500 and he's positioned us 00:28:21.500 --> 00:28:23.980 to be grace to our brothers and sisters 00:28:23.980 --> 00:28:30.339 we learn from Ephesians 2 22 00:28:30.339 --> 00:28:33.279 that the new temple of God 00:28:33.279 --> 00:28:34.460 is the people of God 00:28:34.460 --> 00:28:36.660 and God 00:28:36.660 --> 00:28:38.819 by his spirit dwells 00:28:38.819 --> 00:28:39.940 among us 00:28:39.940 --> 00:28:43.079 the spirit of God lives among us 00:28:43.079 --> 00:28:45.480 he dwells among us 00:28:45.480 --> 00:28:46.960 God personally 00:28:46.960 --> 00:28:48.019 dwells in our midst 00:28:48.019 --> 00:28:50.059 to do us good 00:28:50.059 --> 00:28:52.839 to build us up as 00:28:52.839 --> 00:28:53.439 as a people 00:28:53.439 --> 00:28:56.319 to conform us to the image of Christ 00:28:56.319 --> 00:28:57.980 to mature us 00:28:57.980 --> 00:29:01.319 and so when we read that word 00:29:01.319 --> 00:29:02.720 grieve 00:29:02.720 --> 00:29:05.779 we've got to realize 00:29:05.779 --> 00:29:07.179 the weight of it 00:29:07.179 --> 00:29:09.399 it might surprise you 00:29:09.399 --> 00:29:11.879 the thought of 00:29:11.879 --> 00:29:13.659 grieving God 00:29:13.659 --> 00:29:17.319 that we can grieve God 00:29:17.319 --> 00:29:19.919 we can 00:29:19.919 --> 00:29:22.700 we can grieve him 00:29:22.700 --> 00:29:24.720 just make sure 00:29:24.720 --> 00:29:26.659 let's make sure what we understand by that word grieve 00:29:26.659 --> 00:29:28.139 now I'm guessing you hear the word grieve 00:29:28.139 --> 00:29:28.859 and you think of 00:29:28.859 --> 00:29:30.240 a loved one dying 00:29:30.240 --> 00:29:32.500 and the heartache involved with that 00:29:32.500 --> 00:29:36.000 the kind of grief that we're talking about 00:29:36.000 --> 00:29:36.799 here is 00:29:36.799 --> 00:29:38.559 kind of in the same ballpark 00:29:38.559 --> 00:29:39.399 but it's a little different 00:29:39.399 --> 00:29:40.619 let me try to illustrate it 00:29:40.619 --> 00:29:44.439 let's say that you have a relative 00:29:44.439 --> 00:29:45.599 who you love dearly 00:29:45.599 --> 00:29:48.379 and you get word 00:29:48.379 --> 00:29:49.259 that this relative 00:29:49.259 --> 00:29:51.239 has been making decisions 00:29:51.239 --> 00:29:52.959 that are foolish 00:29:52.959 --> 00:29:53.779 and harmful 00:29:53.779 --> 00:29:55.659 to your loved one 00:29:55.659 --> 00:29:57.699 how would you receive that? 00:29:58.500 --> 00:30:00.119 how would you respond to that? 00:30:02.179 --> 00:30:03.179 you'd be grieved 00:30:03.179 --> 00:30:05.699 you'd be sad 00:30:05.700 --> 00:30:08.460 and the reason why you'd be sad 00:30:08.460 --> 00:30:08.860 is 00:30:08.860 --> 00:30:11.000 this person whom you love 00:30:11.000 --> 00:30:12.299 is making decisions 00:30:12.299 --> 00:30:15.640 that are hurtful to themselves 00:30:15.640 --> 00:30:18.640 they're denying themselves good 00:30:18.640 --> 00:30:21.360 our grief 00:30:21.360 --> 00:30:23.080 comes from 00:30:23.080 --> 00:30:24.360 wanting good 00:30:24.360 --> 00:30:26.019 for someone else 00:30:26.019 --> 00:30:29.420 and the grief that we're reading about here 00:30:29.420 --> 00:30:30.960 in Ephesians 4.30 00:30:30.960 --> 00:30:32.600 is a grief that comes 00:30:32.600 --> 00:30:33.460 from the Holy Spirit 00:30:33.460 --> 00:30:35.059 wanting good for his people 00:30:35.059 --> 00:30:40.299 the Holy Spirit wants good for us 00:30:40.299 --> 00:30:41.799 he's actively at work 00:30:41.799 --> 00:30:42.539 in our midst 00:30:42.539 --> 00:30:44.679 seeking to build us up 00:30:44.679 --> 00:30:45.879 with each other's words 00:30:45.879 --> 00:30:48.399 so when we use words 00:30:48.399 --> 00:30:51.039 that are not good but corrupt 00:30:51.039 --> 00:30:53.139 when we use words 00:30:53.139 --> 00:30:55.099 that are not loving but selfish 00:30:55.099 --> 00:30:57.179 when we use words 00:30:57.179 --> 00:31:00.679 that are not timely but careless 00:31:00.679 --> 00:31:02.899 the Holy Spirit's grieved 00:31:02.900 --> 00:31:06.080 the Holy Spirit is grieved 00:31:06.080 --> 00:31:07.780 because we are denying 00:31:07.780 --> 00:31:09.080 ourselves 00:31:09.080 --> 00:31:10.380 a good 00:31:10.380 --> 00:31:11.519 that he 00:31:11.519 --> 00:31:12.519 wants 00:31:12.519 --> 00:31:14.120 for us 00:31:14.120 --> 00:31:16.380 our corrupt 00:31:16.380 --> 00:31:16.980 talk 00:31:16.980 --> 00:31:17.720 is 00:31:17.720 --> 00:31:19.019 frustrating 00:31:19.019 --> 00:31:20.080 the work of the Spirit 00:31:20.080 --> 00:31:20.640 in the midst 00:31:20.640 --> 00:31:21.920 do you see how that would grieve him? 00:31:21.920 --> 00:31:28.500 so instead of grieving the Spirit 00:31:28.500 --> 00:31:30.519 by speaking hurtful words 00:31:30.519 --> 00:31:32.440 God is calling us here 00:31:32.440 --> 00:31:34.380 to please the Spirit 00:31:34.380 --> 00:31:37.500 to be used by the Spirit 00:31:37.500 --> 00:31:40.380 by picking the right words 00:31:40.380 --> 00:31:42.820 making sure we're speaking them in love 00:31:42.819 --> 00:31:44.679 and then speaking them 00:31:44.679 --> 00:31:45.960 at just 00:31:45.960 --> 00:31:46.960 the right 00:31:46.960 --> 00:31:48.000 time 00:31:48.000 --> 00:31:49.679 the Spirit 00:31:49.679 --> 00:31:52.119 dwells in our midst 00:31:52.119 --> 00:31:53.179 for our good 00:31:53.179 --> 00:31:55.579 and we're not to grieve him 00:31:55.579 --> 00:31:56.819 with our words 00:31:56.819 --> 00:32:00.019 our new life in Christ 00:32:00.019 --> 00:32:00.740 results 00:32:00.740 --> 00:32:02.079 in a new way 00:32:02.079 --> 00:32:02.740 of speaking 00:32:02.740 --> 00:32:05.639 that is ultimately 00:32:05.639 --> 00:32:06.960 used by the Spirit 00:32:06.960 --> 00:32:07.919 of God himself 00:32:07.919 --> 00:32:09.000 to unite us 00:32:09.000 --> 00:32:10.519 and to build us up 00:32:10.519 --> 00:32:11.419 as a church 00:32:11.420 --> 00:32:13.560 so this morning 00:32:13.560 --> 00:32:15.240 and maybe for the balance 00:32:15.240 --> 00:32:16.019 of this week 00:32:16.019 --> 00:32:18.259 will you take stock 00:32:18.259 --> 00:32:18.860 of your talk? 00:32:20.539 --> 00:32:21.759 will you pay attention 00:32:21.759 --> 00:32:22.620 to how you speak 00:32:22.620 --> 00:32:23.160 to others? 00:32:25.200 --> 00:32:26.160 and I'm guessing 00:32:26.160 --> 00:32:27.220 your response 00:32:27.220 --> 00:32:27.900 will be the same 00:32:27.900 --> 00:32:28.360 as mine 00:32:28.360 --> 00:32:31.200 that as you become aware 00:32:31.200 --> 00:32:31.940 of how you speak 00:32:31.940 --> 00:32:32.539 to others 00:32:32.539 --> 00:32:34.060 you're going to find yourself 00:32:34.060 --> 00:32:35.220 crying out to Jesus 00:32:35.220 --> 00:32:37.560 over and over 00:32:37.560 --> 00:32:38.240 and over again 00:32:38.240 --> 00:32:40.779 asking him to purify 00:32:40.779 --> 00:32:41.519 your speech 00:32:41.519 --> 00:32:43.039 so that we can 00:32:43.039 --> 00:32:44.119 speak to one another 00:32:44.119 --> 00:32:44.619 in a way 00:32:44.619 --> 00:32:45.879 that builds up 00:32:45.879 --> 00:32:48.160 let me pray for us 00:32:48.160 --> 00:32:49.119 and we'll sing 00:32:49.119 --> 00:33:01.399 God you speak 00:33:01.399 --> 00:33:02.240 these commands 00:33:02.240 --> 00:33:02.759 to us 00:33:02.759 --> 00:33:03.559 for our good 00:33:03.559 --> 00:33:07.039 and so God 00:33:07.039 --> 00:33:07.779 would you do us 00:33:07.779 --> 00:33:08.139 good 00:33:08.139 --> 00:33:10.960 Father would you 00:33:10.960 --> 00:33:11.740 by your Spirit 00:33:11.740 --> 00:33:12.619 refine us 00:33:12.619 --> 00:33:13.659 refine our speech 00:33:13.659 --> 00:33:15.500 to make our speech 00:33:15.500 --> 00:33:16.440 more like Jesus 00:33:16.440 --> 00:33:18.500 with a Jesus effect 00:33:18.500 --> 00:33:20.679 to build up 00:33:20.679 --> 00:33:22.059 your people 00:33:22.059 --> 00:33:24.799 God I do pray 00:33:24.799 --> 00:33:25.399 that if 00:33:25.399 --> 00:33:26.619 there are 00:33:26.619 --> 00:33:27.399 there's conviction 00:33:27.399 --> 00:33:28.399 going on in the room 00:33:28.399 --> 00:33:28.819 right now 00:33:28.819 --> 00:33:29.440 God thank you 00:33:29.440 --> 00:33:29.980 for that 00:33:29.980 --> 00:33:31.819 thank you for helping 00:33:31.819 --> 00:33:33.399 us see our sin 00:33:33.399 --> 00:33:33.939 and what needs 00:33:33.939 --> 00:33:34.639 to change 00:33:34.639 --> 00:33:36.200 God would you 00:33:36.200 --> 00:33:37.240 transform us 00:33:37.240 --> 00:33:40.019 would you help us 00:33:40.019 --> 00:33:40.659 to put off 00:33:40.659 --> 00:33:42.019 the old way 00:33:42.019 --> 00:33:42.500 of talking 00:33:42.500 --> 00:33:44.099 and put on 00:33:44.099 --> 00:33:44.579 the new way 00:33:44.579 --> 00:33:45.059 of talking 00:33:45.059 --> 00:33:47.839 for the glory 00:33:47.839 --> 00:33:48.359 of your name 00:33:48.359 --> 00:33:50.200 Amen 00:33:50.200 --> 00:33:55.380 Amen 00:33:55.380 --> 00:33:56.420 Amen 00:33:57.420 --> 00:33:59.700 Amen 00:33:59.700 --> 00:34:00.100 Amen 00:34:00.100 --> 00:34:00.720 Amen 00:34:00.720 --> 00:34:01.660 Amen 00:34:01.660 --> 00:34:02.259 Amen 00:34:02.259 --> 00:34:03.240 Amen 00:34:03.240 --> 00:34:03.759 Amen 00:34:03.759 --> 00:34:05.620 Amen 00:34:05.620 --> 00:34:07.220 Amen 00:34:07.220 --> 00:34:07.580 Amen 00:34:07.580 --> 00:34:07.720 Amen 00:34:07.720 --> 00:34:12.860 Amen 00:34:12.860 --> 00:34:13.199 Amen 00:34:13.199 --> 00:34:13.800 Amen 00:34:13.800 --> 00:34:15.220 Amen 00:34:15.220 --> 00:34:20.099 Amen