WEBVTT 00:00:00.920 --> 00:00:07.919 Welcome again to Church of the Advent. My name is Thomas, one of the pastors here. Happy Father's Day to those of you who are fathers. 00:00:07.919 --> 00:00:23.620 Also, we all have fathers. We're going to talk about that a little bit more this morning. Father's Day, I think probably like Mother's Day, can bring a complicated array of emotions to the fore. 00:00:23.620 --> 00:00:33.660 For some of us, when we hear the word father, that brings feelings of warmth and security and good memories and laughter. It's a good, positive word. 00:00:34.760 --> 00:00:43.719 But I think there are also a lot of people for whom the word father conjures painful memories. It's a word associated with grief. 00:00:43.719 --> 00:00:54.200 Maybe your father was absent or cruel or impossible to satisfy. Maybe he was physically present, but he was emotionally unavailable. 00:00:55.179 --> 00:01:03.179 I remember one person at one point talking about the cereal stare where he and his father would have breakfast in the morning, and he would just sit there staring at his father. 00:01:03.480 --> 00:01:06.079 And his father would just eat, but just have this far-off stare. 00:01:06.500 --> 00:01:10.799 And how he longed as a kid to know what to say to connect with his father and never could. 00:01:10.799 --> 00:01:16.219 Maybe you never knew your father at all. Maybe your father has passed away. 00:01:16.700 --> 00:01:22.079 Any of these could be reasons why the word father is emotionally complex. 00:01:23.140 --> 00:01:26.159 The point is, I think fatherhood is something that affects us all. 00:01:27.219 --> 00:01:31.560 We all have a father or a place where a father should have been. 00:01:32.120 --> 00:01:40.459 And that's why we're going to look at Psalm 68, which I think gives us one of the most beautiful descriptions of God in all of Scripture. 00:01:40.799 --> 00:01:48.280 A father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation. 00:01:49.140 --> 00:01:51.859 A father to the fatherless and protector of widows. 00:01:52.179 --> 00:01:56.959 So we're going to look at this verse, which is loaded with meaning. 00:01:56.959 --> 00:02:05.379 And we're going to consider fatherhood and the way it affects us all in three parts. 00:02:05.479 --> 00:02:10.400 We're going to talk first about the ache of fatherlessness, and then the love of God the Father. 00:02:10.539 --> 00:02:13.039 And then we'll consider what this means for us. 00:02:13.139 --> 00:02:14.180 Please join me as we pray. 00:02:14.180 --> 00:02:22.099 Lord, Heavenly Father, we thank you for your word, and we thank you that we can come to you as our father and pray. 00:02:22.700 --> 00:02:26.360 And ask that you would illuminate your word, that you would open our hearts. 00:02:27.060 --> 00:02:28.460 Lord, we are in your hands. 00:02:28.540 --> 00:02:34.800 We place ourselves into your care this morning, trusting that because of your loving kindness, because of your promises to us, 00:02:34.800 --> 00:02:38.860 we can hear you and receive from you what we need this morning. 00:02:39.000 --> 00:02:42.360 We pray that for our good, but chiefly for your glory. 00:02:42.620 --> 00:02:44.040 And in Jesus' name, amen. 00:02:45.480 --> 00:02:48.780 So first of all, I want to talk a little bit about the ache of fatherlessness. 00:02:48.780 --> 00:02:59.539 In the ancient world, to be fatherless was a very big deal because a father provided a lot of extremely important things. 00:02:59.840 --> 00:03:06.860 So the author of Psalm 68 and those who would have first heard this verse, when they thought of fatherless people, 00:03:07.139 --> 00:03:12.460 they would think of a father as being someone who provided all of the financial support. 00:03:12.900 --> 00:03:16.080 They protected you from being exploited. 00:03:16.080 --> 00:03:21.120 They gave legal representation in courts and disputes. 00:03:21.260 --> 00:03:25.660 So if you had any kind of issues that needed to be resolved legally, your father would represent you. 00:03:25.860 --> 00:03:31.060 There was a whole world of inheritance rights that you needed a father for. 00:03:31.340 --> 00:03:37.000 The father provided you with social identity and status within your clan or tribe. 00:03:37.000 --> 00:03:43.939 And so in the ancient world, to be fatherless, and in the Old Testament, when the Old Testament refers to a class of people, 00:03:43.939 --> 00:03:49.680 the fatherless, we're talking about people who are especially vulnerable. 00:03:51.000 --> 00:03:56.620 Financially, vulnerable to exploitation, vulnerable to being taken advantage of and trodden on by the strong and powerful. 00:03:56.859 --> 00:03:59.060 The fatherless were a very vulnerable people. 00:04:00.039 --> 00:04:04.560 Now I would argue that even though we live in a very different time and place and culture, 00:04:04.840 --> 00:04:12.319 fathers are every bit as important, even if they play different roles than they did in the ancient world. 00:04:12.319 --> 00:04:16.899 We know that a father helps children develop all kinds of things. 00:04:17.099 --> 00:04:18.920 Fathers help their kids develop identity. 00:04:19.819 --> 00:04:22.680 And a sense of security in the world, a sense of belonging. 00:04:23.240 --> 00:04:27.060 They're extremely important for helping people develop a sense of self-confidence, 00:04:27.500 --> 00:04:30.279 for helping children develop a moral imagination. 00:04:31.959 --> 00:04:33.240 Now I want to say this clearly. 00:04:33.420 --> 00:04:38.399 None of what we're going to talk about this morning diminishes the importance of mothers or women. 00:04:38.399 --> 00:04:41.519 They are every bit as vital, every bit as important. 00:04:41.779 --> 00:04:46.839 But since the theme is fathers, that's what we're going to focus on this particular morning. 00:04:47.319 --> 00:04:55.159 And we are also going to highlight something that I would argue our culture and society sometimes has a hard time articulating. 00:04:55.979 --> 00:04:58.019 And that is that fathers matter. 00:04:59.019 --> 00:05:01.239 And that, frankly, men matter. 00:05:01.240 --> 00:05:06.460 Richard Reeves is a social scientist who wrote a book called Of Boys and Men. 00:05:06.519 --> 00:05:10.240 He's one of the leading voices in the role of men in society today. 00:05:11.040 --> 00:05:15.980 And he says that if we look at all of the available data, it is clear that, and I want to say this carefully, 00:05:16.439 --> 00:05:19.400 fathers are not merely a bonus parent. 00:05:21.160 --> 00:05:30.120 Fathers are not merely placeholders where you just need an interchangeable second adult. 00:05:31.240 --> 00:05:38.759 Reeves would argue that fatherhood is one of the load-bearing structures of human formation. 00:05:39.879 --> 00:05:43.800 Fatherhood is one of the load-bearing structures of human formation. 00:05:44.340 --> 00:05:50.160 That's why fatherlessness is such a big deal in our society. 00:05:50.240 --> 00:05:54.280 In our country right now, roughly 18.5 million kids. 00:05:54.519 --> 00:05:56.439 That's one in four kids. 00:05:56.439 --> 00:06:04.719 One in four live without a biological or step or adoptive father present in the home. 00:06:05.120 --> 00:06:09.819 What that means is that right now, and this is based on a survey of 130 countries, 00:06:10.420 --> 00:06:17.720 so based on that data, the U.S. currently has the highest rate of single-parent homes globally in our country. 00:06:17.720 --> 00:06:22.720 So, a lot of people grow up without a father or father figure in the home. 00:06:23.140 --> 00:06:25.720 And in addition to that, as we alluded to at the beginning of this, 00:06:26.000 --> 00:06:30.120 there are a lot of people who have a father, but they don't act like a father. 00:06:30.900 --> 00:06:36.040 You know, there's a father present, but maybe they're abusive, or as we said, emotionally absent, 00:06:36.360 --> 00:06:40.240 or maybe they deal with addiction, or maybe they're just simply too busy 00:06:40.240 --> 00:06:45.040 with work or other pursuits to be meaningfully engaged in our lives. 00:06:47.439 --> 00:06:51.259 And all of that means that there are many people, including many of us, 00:06:51.759 --> 00:06:58.759 people in our 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, who carry around some kind of deep father wound. 00:06:59.980 --> 00:07:04.720 And a lot of us don't even become aware that that's there until later in life. 00:07:04.720 --> 00:07:10.300 You know, there was a 58-year-old man who told a story about when he played high school football, 00:07:10.620 --> 00:07:15.880 and he always wanted his dad to come with him to watch him play at his games, 00:07:16.000 --> 00:07:20.660 but his dad was a very successful businessman, and he was always traveling, he was always busy, 00:07:20.700 --> 00:07:22.120 he was never able to come to his games. 00:07:22.420 --> 00:07:25.840 So, he had never made it to a single game, and this 58-year-old man tells a story 00:07:25.840 --> 00:07:27.740 about the final game of his high school career. 00:07:28.000 --> 00:07:29.680 He knew it was the last time he was ever going to play football, 00:07:29.920 --> 00:07:34.140 and it was a state championship, and he was desperate to have his dad there. 00:07:34.139 --> 00:07:37.659 And so, the night of the big game, he's on the field, he's warming up, 00:07:37.680 --> 00:07:41.219 and he looks into the stadium just in time to see his father arrive. 00:07:41.300 --> 00:07:43.439 And his father walks in, he's wearing a business suit, 00:07:43.620 --> 00:07:46.300 and he walks in with two other guys who are wearing business suits, 00:07:46.459 --> 00:07:49.079 and they stand there, and they talk for a few minutes, 00:07:49.259 --> 00:07:51.479 and then they turn around, and they walk back out of the stadium. 00:07:53.039 --> 00:07:58.240 And the man who told this story, as I said, is now 58 years old. 00:07:58.319 --> 00:08:03.639 It has been 40 years since that night, and yet this man had tears streaming down his face 00:08:03.639 --> 00:08:06.779 as he told the story of his father walking out of that stadium. 00:08:06.779 --> 00:08:11.899 He was reliving, as he told the story, that sense of rejection and pain 00:08:11.899 --> 00:08:14.300 as though it had happened the day before. 00:08:16.159 --> 00:08:18.899 These wounds often don't heal on their own. 00:08:19.919 --> 00:08:24.360 Like, they're things that we just carry with us, pain that scabs over, 00:08:25.539 --> 00:08:29.379 but then anything, and sometimes the most unexpected things, 00:08:29.379 --> 00:08:32.840 can pick that scab off, and the wound bleeds afresh. 00:08:34.240 --> 00:08:36.179 But here's the thing I really want to focus on. 00:08:36.259 --> 00:08:40.620 Even if you had a great relationship with your father, your human father, 00:08:41.039 --> 00:08:44.980 Scripture says there's actually a deeper wound that all human beings carry, 00:08:45.740 --> 00:08:47.700 that all human beings are born with. 00:08:48.480 --> 00:08:53.480 And that is the broken relationship that we have with our heavenly Father. 00:08:53.480 --> 00:09:03.379 All of us were made to know and to love and to be known and be loved by God as father. 00:09:03.539 --> 00:09:06.620 Scripture makes it very clear that the kind of relationship God wants to have with us 00:09:06.620 --> 00:09:10.620 is not just as a king with His subjects or as a CEO with His employees. 00:09:11.340 --> 00:09:14.399 He wants to be our father and for us to be His children. 00:09:16.120 --> 00:09:18.639 And yet, Scripture is also clear, and I think if we look at our lives, 00:09:18.680 --> 00:09:19.759 this is very obvious. 00:09:19.759 --> 00:09:26.399 It's obvious in my life that we're born with this instinct to want to live life apart from that God, 00:09:26.500 --> 00:09:32.100 to make it on our own, to come up with our own meaning, to come up with our own direction, 00:09:32.279 --> 00:09:35.279 to try to seek a way to be whole apart from God. 00:09:36.259 --> 00:09:39.779 Because we value that sense of independence and autonomy. 00:09:39.919 --> 00:09:43.819 We don't realize that that means our relationship with Him has been broken, 00:09:43.819 --> 00:09:48.439 that the idea that we could ever be whole apart from God is a great lie. 00:09:49.759 --> 00:09:54.059 From the serpent in Genesis chapter 3. 00:09:54.159 --> 00:09:57.279 And I think most people know this deep down. 00:09:57.379 --> 00:09:59.379 Even if you don't consider yourself to be religious, 00:09:59.519 --> 00:10:01.960 I think most people have a sense of this 00:10:01.960 --> 00:10:08.100 because there are symptoms of our spiritual father wound that play out in our lives, right? 00:10:08.639 --> 00:10:11.679 It's, for instance, the restlessness that you feel. 00:10:12.240 --> 00:10:16.500 The restlessness that we feel when we feel like we need to prove that we are enough. 00:10:16.500 --> 00:10:20.620 You know, whether it's in our parenting or in our work or in our friendships, 00:10:20.799 --> 00:10:23.879 we have this restless desire to kind of prove that we're enough 00:10:23.879 --> 00:10:26.779 or to get enough recognition or affirmation that I'm enough 00:10:26.779 --> 00:10:29.399 because deep down we don't really know that we're beloved. 00:10:30.659 --> 00:10:34.019 It's the instinct we have to hide when we sin and mess up. 00:10:34.899 --> 00:10:36.980 That instinct to hide and to conceal. 00:10:37.539 --> 00:10:40.720 It's that need to perform when we feel insecure. 00:10:40.720 --> 00:10:45.240 It's that need to control when we feel afraid or powerless. 00:10:46.300 --> 00:10:52.139 It's that desire that we have to seek blessing from people who can't really give it 00:10:52.139 --> 00:10:55.160 or whose blessing actually doesn't really matter that much, 00:10:55.759 --> 00:11:01.100 but we think it does because we're seeking it from something that's not supposed to provide it. 00:11:01.320 --> 00:11:05.500 These are all symptoms of a spiritual father wound. 00:11:05.500 --> 00:11:11.740 We were created to live as sons and daughters before the face of God. 00:11:11.940 --> 00:11:17.980 We were made to receive our identity and our security and our blessing from Him. 00:11:19.620 --> 00:11:26.700 And so, what we realize when we read Scripture is that sin has estranged us from our Father. 00:11:26.860 --> 00:11:29.620 So, we on our own live like orphans. 00:11:29.860 --> 00:11:31.519 We live like people without a home. 00:11:31.840 --> 00:11:33.240 We live like the fatherless. 00:11:33.240 --> 00:11:38.340 We try to make a life for ourselves apart from the only one who can make us whole. 00:11:39.620 --> 00:11:45.600 So, that's the ache of fatherlessness, but that actually then leads us to the love of God the Father 00:11:45.600 --> 00:11:49.060 and the power of this verse and what it represents. 00:11:49.519 --> 00:11:54.279 Psalm 68 does not merely tell us that God helps the fatherless, 00:11:54.379 --> 00:11:56.360 where He kind of gives you a pat on the head and says, 00:11:56.600 --> 00:11:59.240 it's going to be okay, here's some resources. 00:11:59.240 --> 00:12:05.440 It says that He becomes a father to the fatherless, right? 00:12:05.460 --> 00:12:06.259 And that's astonishing. 00:12:06.480 --> 00:12:13.980 It's saying God steps into that empty space, that God is able to fill what is missing. 00:12:14.820 --> 00:12:16.460 He's able to become what we need. 00:12:16.519 --> 00:12:19.120 He becomes a father to the fatherless. 00:12:19.919 --> 00:12:20.879 And how does He do it? 00:12:20.879 --> 00:12:21.879 He becomes a fatherless, right? 00:12:21.879 --> 00:12:24.460 Through His Son, Jesus Christ. 00:12:26.059 --> 00:12:29.659 The New Testament repeatedly refers to Jesus as the firstborn. 00:12:31.360 --> 00:12:37.500 And to call Jesus the firstborn is not to say that Jesus is the first thing God made. 00:12:38.460 --> 00:12:40.220 Some people misunderstand that. 00:12:40.220 --> 00:12:50.000 Now, before the incarnation, we know that Jesus existed for all eternity in a perfect relationship with His heavenly Father. 00:12:50.660 --> 00:12:54.620 So, when it refers to Jesus as the firstborn, it's talking about status. 00:12:56.300 --> 00:13:04.800 In the ancient world, to be the firstborn son was the most privileged place in the family next to the father. 00:13:04.799 --> 00:13:07.819 The most privileged place. 00:13:08.139 --> 00:13:12.639 The firstborn son in Jewish culture would receive a double portion of the inheritance. 00:13:12.939 --> 00:13:17.899 They were the ones who would typically oversee all of their father's affairs and estate. 00:13:18.079 --> 00:13:19.719 And when the father died, it would all pass. 00:13:19.779 --> 00:13:25.759 All those rights and all the title and all the privileges that came with it would all pass to the son who would continue the family. 00:13:26.120 --> 00:13:29.519 And the legacy, the firstborn son, was everything that everybody wanted to be. 00:13:29.519 --> 00:13:41.000 So, just to put it in modern terms, think of the kind of relationship you wish you could have or could have had with your father. 00:13:42.439 --> 00:13:44.579 Even the best fathers aren't perfect. 00:13:45.740 --> 00:13:49.899 But what would the perfect relationship be like? 00:13:50.759 --> 00:13:54.840 Imagine what you wish it could have been with your father, right? 00:13:54.840 --> 00:14:03.500 Like, as I thought about this, I thought, well, you know, it would be to feel absolutely secure in his approval and in his love. 00:14:04.000 --> 00:14:08.000 Where I wake up every morning knowing that he approves and he loves. 00:14:09.200 --> 00:14:15.480 It would be that sense that I'm his favorite thing in the world. 00:14:16.840 --> 00:14:18.980 That he's just delighted when he looks at me. 00:14:18.980 --> 00:14:27.779 That sense that your father will always be there for you, will always protect you, will always provide for you. 00:14:28.139 --> 00:14:32.519 That sense that you can always count on him, that he'll always be there and he'll never let you down. 00:14:34.820 --> 00:14:38.879 That's the kind of relationship that Jesus has with his heavenly father. 00:14:38.879 --> 00:14:46.360 In fact, when Jesus is baptized, his father's voice, his audible voice says, 00:14:46.720 --> 00:14:50.620 This is my beloved son in whom I am well pleased. 00:14:50.700 --> 00:14:54.240 And I think those are those things that we all long to hear from our father. 00:14:55.439 --> 00:15:00.759 He's saying essentially, I'm with you, I love you, and I am proud of you. 00:15:01.320 --> 00:15:03.759 And that speaks to the deepest parts of us. 00:15:04.840 --> 00:15:06.019 But here's the good news. 00:15:06.019 --> 00:15:10.199 At the heart of the Christian faith, there is an astonishing claim. 00:15:10.539 --> 00:15:15.259 And that is that God wants to have that same kind of relationship with us. 00:15:15.639 --> 00:15:18.779 He wants to have that same kind of relationship with you. 00:15:20.620 --> 00:15:22.899 That's actually what we were made for. 00:15:23.980 --> 00:15:29.919 And so what the gospel says is that Jesus Christ came to help us find our way home. 00:15:30.019 --> 00:15:32.480 Back into the arms of our heavenly father. 00:15:32.480 --> 00:15:38.879 It's the whole reason that he left that perfect relationship and became flesh. 00:15:40.019 --> 00:15:47.300 And Jesus actually illustrates this amazing claim by telling a story about a father and two sons. 00:15:48.659 --> 00:15:49.639 Two brothers. 00:15:50.779 --> 00:15:54.899 The elder brother works hard for his father faithfully every day. 00:15:54.899 --> 00:15:59.519 But the younger brother demands his inheritance early, which is tantamount to saying, 00:15:59.899 --> 00:16:03.199 I wish you would go ahead and die, old man, so I can take what's mine. 00:16:03.500 --> 00:16:07.399 And then he abandons his father, and he goes and he squanders everything. 00:16:07.860 --> 00:16:14.659 And only when he has lost everything, only when he is so desperate that he is jealous of the slop that the pigs eat, 00:16:15.639 --> 00:16:17.439 does he decide to return. 00:16:17.440 --> 00:16:24.160 Not even out of a genuine heartbroken repentance, but more for pragmatic reasons. 00:16:24.300 --> 00:16:28.780 Maybe I can convince my dad to hire me on as a servant, as a hired hand, 00:16:28.780 --> 00:16:32.580 so at least then I would have a place to sleep and some food to eat. 00:16:33.300 --> 00:16:34.920 Because this isn't working anymore. 00:16:36.440 --> 00:16:42.400 The amazing thing about the story is that when the father sees the son still far off down the road, 00:16:42.399 --> 00:16:46.600 he, in a very undignified manner for a wealthy Jewish man, 00:16:46.899 --> 00:16:51.259 breaks out into a run and sprints down the road and embraces his son. 00:16:51.360 --> 00:16:56.059 And before his son can even get the words out that he's been rehearsing on the walk home, 00:16:56.220 --> 00:16:57.939 he is tearfully kissing him. 00:16:58.740 --> 00:17:02.059 And he's putting his ring back on his finger, and he's taking his robe, 00:17:02.120 --> 00:17:04.400 and he's putting his robe back around his son. 00:17:04.619 --> 00:17:05.759 And you know what that means. 00:17:06.180 --> 00:17:10.759 He's reinstating him as his son, as his child. 00:17:10.759 --> 00:17:13.920 And then he sends word out. 00:17:15.200 --> 00:17:19.420 Take everything that we've been saving, the fatted calf, the best wine. 00:17:20.900 --> 00:17:23.259 Prepare it all because we're going to have a big party tonight. 00:17:23.379 --> 00:17:24.500 Tell everybody in town. 00:17:24.680 --> 00:17:25.900 We want everybody to be there. 00:17:25.960 --> 00:17:26.619 We're going to celebrate. 00:17:26.759 --> 00:17:27.539 What are we celebrating? 00:17:27.900 --> 00:17:30.220 My son who is lost has come home. 00:17:36.160 --> 00:17:40.160 Jesus is saying that is what God desires for each one of us. 00:17:40.759 --> 00:17:49.259 We've all in different ways abandoned God, I think, the way the younger brother did. 00:17:50.480 --> 00:17:55.980 Simply by living in God's world and enjoying God's things as though God doesn't exist. 00:17:56.079 --> 00:17:59.160 I wish you would die, old man, and leave me alone and let me do what I want. 00:17:59.160 --> 00:18:07.840 Jesus is saying, even if we have done that to God, God has not given up on us. 00:18:09.120 --> 00:18:14.500 Like the father in the parable, God is like the father looking down the road. 00:18:14.560 --> 00:18:18.420 You can imagine that father waking up every day, going to his window, and looking out on 00:18:18.420 --> 00:18:21.480 that road, the road that his son left down. 00:18:21.480 --> 00:18:25.660 And just looking for some sign of his son's return. 00:18:25.759 --> 00:18:28.120 You can imagine every day the father getting up and doing that. 00:18:28.319 --> 00:18:31.059 It's the only reason he would have seen him when he was still a long way off and known 00:18:31.059 --> 00:18:31.980 to go out and meet him, right? 00:18:32.039 --> 00:18:33.259 He was already looking for him. 00:18:34.900 --> 00:18:39.140 And Jesus is saying, that's how God the father feels when he thinks about you, when he thinks 00:18:39.140 --> 00:18:41.620 about the people who have walked away from him. 00:18:41.819 --> 00:18:42.620 He's not angry. 00:18:42.819 --> 00:18:43.440 He's not waiting. 00:18:43.539 --> 00:18:45.779 He's, well, I hope they know what they did. 00:18:45.779 --> 00:18:51.339 No, he's looking and he's waiting for the slightest, slightest sign that there's any part of you 00:18:51.339 --> 00:18:52.420 that wants to come back to him. 00:18:52.619 --> 00:18:56.700 And then as soon as that is there, as soon as there's even an inclination in your heart, 00:18:57.240 --> 00:18:58.819 he's running down the road to meet you. 00:18:59.160 --> 00:19:01.519 And he's not waiting for you to phrase it perfectly. 00:19:04.279 --> 00:19:09.879 He's waiting for you to simply turn to simply, that's what the word repentance means, simply 00:19:09.879 --> 00:19:15.740 to turn and to say, I want to give this up and I want to go back to my father. 00:19:16.000 --> 00:19:16.839 And that's all it takes. 00:19:16.920 --> 00:19:17.700 And he is there. 00:19:18.480 --> 00:19:22.299 And he's putting the ring on your finger and he's putting the robe around your shoulders. 00:19:23.500 --> 00:19:28.859 And Jesus is saying, God wants to restore each one of us to the status of a firstborn son, 00:19:29.539 --> 00:19:35.319 to gain the same relationship with God that Jesus has enjoyed for all of eternity. 00:19:36.519 --> 00:19:39.160 And this is available to almost anyone. 00:19:39.160 --> 00:19:43.660 I say almost because by the end of the parable, there's only one person who has not yet gone 00:19:43.660 --> 00:19:44.619 into the celebration. 00:19:45.779 --> 00:19:47.379 And that's the elder brother. 00:19:49.480 --> 00:19:51.079 Everybody's inside partying. 00:19:51.200 --> 00:19:52.119 The father comes out. 00:19:52.200 --> 00:19:53.000 Why don't you come in? 00:19:53.039 --> 00:20:00.720 The elder brother is furious because the father has shown mercy to this younger brother who squandered 00:20:00.720 --> 00:20:01.319 everything. 00:20:01.319 --> 00:20:03.879 But he's also furious. 00:20:03.879 --> 00:20:04.319 Why? 00:20:04.419 --> 00:20:09.579 Because all that they're spending and eating and drinking and celebrating, all of that, that 00:20:09.579 --> 00:20:10.500 was his inheritance. 00:20:11.500 --> 00:20:17.279 And now it's being used to celebrate this younger brother who brought nothing but shame to our 00:20:17.279 --> 00:20:17.679 house. 00:20:17.680 --> 00:20:24.140 And what you realize is the elder brother can't see that he has also spurned his father's love. 00:20:25.400 --> 00:20:26.480 He says, I was loyal. 00:20:26.600 --> 00:20:27.019 I was here. 00:20:27.100 --> 00:20:28.200 I did everything you asked. 00:20:29.560 --> 00:20:34.420 But all those years he worked so hard weren't motivated by love for his father. 00:20:34.779 --> 00:20:36.940 If they had been, he would be in that party. 00:20:36.940 --> 00:20:43.340 All of those years of service were motivated not by love for his father, but by love for 00:20:43.340 --> 00:20:44.279 his father's stuff. 00:20:45.320 --> 00:20:47.039 I'm going to do my part. 00:20:47.140 --> 00:20:47.840 I'm going to be loyal. 00:20:47.980 --> 00:20:48.600 I'm going to obey. 00:20:48.720 --> 00:20:50.320 I'm going to work hard because I'm earning it. 00:20:50.380 --> 00:20:52.259 And one day I'm going to get what's mine. 00:20:52.340 --> 00:20:55.019 I'm going to get what they're now spending on this party. 00:20:55.019 --> 00:21:01.240 If he loved his father, he would love what his father loves, and he would be in there 00:21:01.240 --> 00:21:05.139 celebrating because he would love to see his father so delighted. 00:21:06.879 --> 00:21:15.240 But he's angry and furious because he believes he deserves and should get what is rightfully 00:21:15.240 --> 00:21:16.139 owed him. 00:21:17.119 --> 00:21:19.819 He cannot see that he also needs mercy. 00:21:20.779 --> 00:21:22.299 His pride blinds him. 00:21:22.299 --> 00:21:26.240 So, there is this warning in this parable. 00:21:26.359 --> 00:21:27.759 God wants us to come back to him. 00:21:27.839 --> 00:21:28.759 He desires that. 00:21:28.799 --> 00:21:30.279 He's looking for us down the road. 00:21:30.500 --> 00:21:35.599 But the one thing that will keep that from happening is if we approach God believing that 00:21:35.599 --> 00:21:42.000 we are owed something instead of with a posture that says, I cry out for your mercy. 00:21:45.980 --> 00:21:50.379 God loves us as his children, and he wants us to love him as our father, not for what 00:21:50.379 --> 00:21:52.059 he can give us, but for who he is. 00:21:52.299 --> 00:21:58.819 So, the implications of this are many, but I would say this, just something to consider. 00:21:58.940 --> 00:22:04.259 Every single one of us, if you ever want to find a sense of identity, meaning, security, 00:22:04.259 --> 00:22:09.119 that begins by healing our spiritual father wound. 00:22:10.099 --> 00:22:12.339 We need to come back to our father. 00:22:12.480 --> 00:22:18.079 We need to experience his forgiveness and embrace and be reinstated as sons and daughters 00:22:18.079 --> 00:22:19.000 of the king. 00:22:19.000 --> 00:22:23.640 Now, what does this mean for us more broadly? 00:22:23.640 --> 00:22:29.119 As we take everybody here into account, I want to suggest three ways that we might take 00:22:29.119 --> 00:22:32.000 this with us from here. 00:22:32.119 --> 00:22:37.740 First, it means that there is a way for us to seek healing for our earthly father wounds, 00:22:38.259 --> 00:22:39.400 for those of us who have them. 00:22:39.400 --> 00:22:44.280 I think we all, in different ways, may feel hurt or let down by our earthly fathers. 00:22:45.080 --> 00:22:51.120 Some of us had amazing fathers, but no father is perfect, and there's only one perfect father, 00:22:51.200 --> 00:22:52.220 and that's our father in heaven. 00:22:53.180 --> 00:22:57.040 And so, part of what this is telling us is if God is a father to the fatherless, it means 00:22:57.040 --> 00:23:01.340 that God can be the kind of father that all of us want and need, and none of us get because 00:23:01.340 --> 00:23:02.400 human beings aren't perfect. 00:23:02.400 --> 00:23:08.060 So, what that means is that we can now look to our heavenly father to give us things that 00:23:08.060 --> 00:23:08.560 we didn't get. 00:23:08.620 --> 00:23:12.240 And in some cases, we're actually maybe looking for our earthly fathers to give us things that 00:23:12.240 --> 00:23:14.880 only our heavenly father can give us, right? 00:23:14.960 --> 00:23:16.720 We're maybe expecting too much. 00:23:18.680 --> 00:23:24.259 By living in the security of our relationship with God the Father, we can seek healing for 00:23:24.259 --> 00:23:25.100 our earthly father wounds. 00:23:25.140 --> 00:23:25.759 What does that mean? 00:23:25.860 --> 00:23:28.800 It means there's some work that we may need to do. 00:23:28.799 --> 00:23:36.180 There may need to be some forgiveness that you have to extend, ways that you've been hurt 00:23:36.180 --> 00:23:38.240 or felt wrong, and you're carrying that with you. 00:23:38.819 --> 00:23:43.659 And it may be that this Father's Day is the day when you decide, I'm going to stop carrying 00:23:43.659 --> 00:23:45.240 this resentment or this anger. 00:23:45.500 --> 00:23:46.859 I'm going to choose to forgive. 00:23:48.319 --> 00:23:51.659 Not because he's…maybe he hasn't asked for forgiveness. 00:23:51.819 --> 00:23:53.079 Maybe he doesn't know that he's hurting. 00:23:53.139 --> 00:23:55.519 Maybe he's passed away, and you can't have that conversation. 00:23:55.839 --> 00:23:58.779 You can still forgive, and you're not doing it based on… 00:23:58.799 --> 00:24:03.440 Even whether or not you believe he deserves it, you're doing it based on your relationship 00:24:03.440 --> 00:24:06.559 that you now have with your heavenly father who has forgiven you. 00:24:08.980 --> 00:24:13.379 It means beyond forgiveness that there may just need to be things that we grieve, you 00:24:13.379 --> 00:24:18.740 know, ways that we wish our father could…roles we wish they could have played, things we wish 00:24:18.740 --> 00:24:23.659 they could have done, or maybe things that they did that we wish they hadn't done, and it's 00:24:23.660 --> 00:24:26.880 more of a source of grief and sadness of what might have been. 00:24:28.279 --> 00:24:30.080 And we need to be willing to grieve those things. 00:24:30.120 --> 00:24:33.580 There's no way to deal with those feelings other than just to go right through them. 00:24:33.880 --> 00:24:34.779 You can't go around them. 00:24:34.860 --> 00:24:35.820 You can't sidestep them. 00:24:35.940 --> 00:24:38.340 You know, you can just…you have to go through. 00:24:38.580 --> 00:24:41.000 But you can do that because you have the security of your heavenly father. 00:24:41.000 --> 00:24:47.680 And then…and this is going to sound…this is hard, okay? 00:24:48.440 --> 00:24:50.319 You have to be able to forgive and grieve. 00:24:51.779 --> 00:24:54.799 And grief brings anger, and it brings all that…you have to deal with all that stuff. 00:24:55.299 --> 00:25:01.579 And to be able to name and to be thankful and to have gratitude for all the good that 00:25:01.579 --> 00:25:02.900 your father did bring into your life. 00:25:02.900 --> 00:25:09.180 And that sounds very…what we want to do is to say bad or good, right or wrong. 00:25:09.240 --> 00:25:10.360 We want to think in binaries. 00:25:10.620 --> 00:25:12.100 Cognitively, it's a lot easier for us. 00:25:12.940 --> 00:25:18.480 It's a lot harder, but it's a lot more emotionally healthy to be able to hold both together. 00:25:18.700 --> 00:25:19.540 There are hard things. 00:25:20.100 --> 00:25:21.080 There are grievous things. 00:25:21.620 --> 00:25:24.540 But there's also really good things, and there's beautiful things. 00:25:25.380 --> 00:25:26.640 And they're…and both are true. 00:25:29.460 --> 00:25:32.820 That's…that's what healing that father wound looks like, okay? 00:25:33.019 --> 00:25:36.700 And it's possible because you have a relationship with your heavenly father. 00:25:36.800 --> 00:25:41.340 Number two, I think this offers tremendous encouragement for those of us who are fathers. 00:25:43.640 --> 00:25:49.120 You know, we've been knocking on fathers a bit this morning, and I'm also a father of 00:25:49.120 --> 00:25:49.340 three. 00:25:50.380 --> 00:25:54.240 And I know that there are ways that I let my kids down. 00:25:54.240 --> 00:25:59.060 I know that the time is going to come when they are going to have to forgive and grieve. 00:26:00.220 --> 00:26:01.460 Ways that I've fallen short. 00:26:02.100 --> 00:26:02.920 And that's hard. 00:26:02.980 --> 00:26:10.180 When you're a parent, you're pretty much constantly worrying about, or at least I am. 00:26:10.220 --> 00:26:11.200 A lot of parents I know are. 00:26:12.819 --> 00:26:17.620 Constantly feeling like, you know, I thought I was going to be this great parent, and now 00:26:17.620 --> 00:26:19.880 I'm just…I'm hoping that I'm just average. 00:26:20.240 --> 00:26:21.200 You know, that I'm not bad. 00:26:21.200 --> 00:26:21.620 You know? 00:26:21.799 --> 00:26:24.539 Hoping I'm in the upper 50th percentile, you know? 00:26:24.539 --> 00:26:28.240 But you thought you were going to be like top 10, you know? 00:26:28.359 --> 00:26:31.779 And now you're like, I'm just hoping for more good than bad. 00:26:32.359 --> 00:26:35.039 And so…and parenting does that. 00:26:35.079 --> 00:26:36.059 It's tremendously humbling. 00:26:36.059 --> 00:26:40.599 This passage reminds us of something crucial. 00:26:42.519 --> 00:26:46.359 Our kids need a heavenly father just as much as we do. 00:26:46.359 --> 00:26:49.939 Because he can do for them things that we will never…