Father, we confess that sometimes we are afraid of your word, and we don't maybe even want to acknowledge it, but we're afraid of it.
And sometimes, Father, we take great delight, glee, in your word because we think it gives us powers that it doesn't.
Because we want power, we want to be the center.
So, Father, you know the true state of our hearts, and you know the true state of our lives.
And we know that you love us, that Jesus is our Savior and Lord for all who put their faith and trust in him.
And so we ask that the Holy Spirit would fall with might and power and deep conviction as we open your word.
Father, bring your word to the very center of who we are.
And this we ask in Jesus' name. Amen.
Please be seated.
Amen.
So, one of the things, if you read any book on how to preach or anything like that, one of the things they talk about in preaching is that you have to begin your sermon pretty well right away with something that's going to grab people.
Like, within the first minute, you need to do something to grab people's attention and grant them a type of either tension or curiosity to enter into the sermon.
And today, all I have to do is this.
And I know I meant it to be funny, but I mean, it's a very serious issue, right, in terms of Canada.
All I have to do is say, today, you turn in your Bibles to Ephesians chapter 5, verses 22, and the opening sentence is,
wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord.
And instantly, I've got curiosity.
Instantly, I've got tension effortlessly right off the bat.
So, here's the thing.
I mean, we all laughed, and I meant to get a bit of a laugh, but it's very serious.
The fact of the matter is, is that you can just imagine what it would be like if on Monday, if those of you who work somewhere,
if you got all your co-workers together and said you'd like to share this text with them,
if I was to gather all the people in the coffee shop, and it wouldn't matter if it was a hipster coffee shop,
Tim Hortons, sort of the opposite end of hipster, or Starbucks to hipsters, the opposite end of hipster as well,
second cup, who goes to second cup, and if you're just to go and gather people up and read this text,
there'd be all sorts of tension in the room.
In fact, for many people, for many women in particular, but often for men,
there'd be actually a type of physical pain and shock that such a text would be read.
Like, there'd be actual shock and maybe pain and fear that such a text would be read.
And if they didn't do just the normal Canadian thing, saying whatever and trying to be polite,
but if they actually engaged with you, I mean, amongst other things, people would say to me,
George, don't you think a text like this is unbelievably dangerous?
Like, don't you think this text will lead to abuse?
In fact, some people would say, George, if people believe this text, women will die.
In fact, we'll be lucky if all that happens is that they end up in the emergency room,
because women will die if you have a text like this and try to get people to believe it.
That it's shocking that in an age when women can be fighters, pilots, and run nations,
and run billion, multi-billion dollar corporations,
that in an age like that, this, that a text like this would even be read without being read
and then being mocked or saying that it should be discarded.
And that's basically how most Canadians and most North Americans would view the text.
In fact, probably, especially if I was to do it in a coffee shop where I was familiar,
one of the questions would ask me is this.
They'd probably say, George, do you believe this?
And it would be like that, do you believe this?
Like, surely you don't believe this.
And if I said I did, there'd be, whoa, whoa.
Right? That's the world we live in.
That's the world we live in.
So, what are we going to do with all of this?
Well, what I'm going to do is I'm going to begin by telling you
what many, many Christians in North America do about a text like this.
And they're well-meaning, and I might also, I might in fact be describing some of you here in this room.
Well-meaning people, well-meaning Christians, very conscious of how this text is viewed in the world.
And so, how do they do?
What they do is they do this.
They go, in fact, many people who, many Canadian Christians would even right off the bat say,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Time out, George.
You didn't begin the text in the right spot.
Like, what on earth are you doing?
Like, you should have begun not with verse 22, where it says, wives, submit to your husbands.
You should have begun with verse 21, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.
And what would happen in many Christian churches, many pulpits, including many evangelical and charismatic churches,
is they would do something like this.
They would say, well, George, verse 21 is before verse 22.
And verse 21 gives the general principle about how Christians are to relate to each other.
And the general way that Christians are to relate to each other is that they're to learn how to submit to one another.
And so, therefore, that's what governs this text.
That's the big idea, rather than just picking on husbands and wives.
And then they would say something like this.
They'd say, but because you see what's going on, is there some type of local problem that's going on in Ephesus?
And then they'll begin to tell you the local problem that was going on in Ephesus.
And then they'd say, so given that there's this local problem going on in Ephesus,
and Paul is giving advice for a very particular problem,
therefore what we need to do now here in Ottawa in 2019 is we need to understand that this is the text that everybody has to follow.
And the other text, 22 to 33, is just talking about a local thing which no longer applies.
Now, here's the thing. It's very, very well-meaning.
But the problem is there is no local situation in Ephesus like what they're talking about.
Like it doesn't exist.
I don't want to offend some of you, and some of you might come up and give me some books.
And in the books show me how archaeologists say this.
But fundamentally, there is no particular situation like this that gets you around the problem of the text.
The second thing is that at the level of the original language,
and it's shown in most modern Bible translations,
the reason that whole new section begins at verse 22 is because verses 15 to 21 is one sentence in Greek.
It's not as if it's a series.
In English Bibles, because English doesn't usually work in that way,
that you can have such long sentences.
So what happens is there's a whole lot of sentences,
and they'll make this look like the beginning of a new sentence,
and then they'll want to put this.
But at the original language, 15 to 21 is one long sentence.
And in fact, actually, I can tell you another thing.
Sorry, time out.
Geek moment for grammar nerds.
Okay.
In that long sentence, the submitting to one another in Christ,
it's a third of three participles, and there's a governing noun, and it's verse 18.
So there's the governing noun, and then three instances of what the governing verb, and blah, blah.
In other words, 21 is really connected to that sentence,
and it's not a brand new sentence that should begin a new paragraph.
End of grammar geek moment.
The other problem with the well-meaning way to try to get around the text,
because you see, really what happens is they use verse 21 to deconstruct or make verses 20.
Another way to put it is they use 21 to deconstruct verses 22 to 33,
or a better way to put it is they use verse 21 to make verses 22 to 33 disappear.
But the problem is that Paul doesn't make reference to, let's say, something like head coverings,
which you might wonder then if it's referring to something a bit more local.
The fact of the matter is that Paul grounds all of his argument in the fact that Jesus died for sinners,
that Jesus is Savior and Lord, and the book of Genesis chapter 2, which is in creation.
In other words, things which aren't local but are, in fact, universal and fundamental to the Christian faith.
So it's a well-meaning attempt to deal with it, but it's not right.
And so for some of you, your answer to all that will be, ouch.
George, you just made the problem worse.
You haven't helped the problem at all.
You have made it worse.
You're saying that this text is something universal that applies to husbands and wives in Ottawa in 2019.
So here's my first brief point.
And this is going to make you even more worried about me, but I thought I'd get it right out.
I think the Bible's teaching on marriage is wise.
This is obviously not the only text on marriage in the Bible.
I'm not going to try to pretend it is, but I think this teaching on marriage is very wise when it's properly understood.
And I know there's lots of fear and anxiety around the text, but I think we've got to walk towards it because the teaching is wise.
And I hope by your prayers that I can show you that, in fact, it is very wise for Christians to understand and to walk towards.
So let's start walking towards it.
Let's get back to our text.
So Ephesians chapter 5, verses 22 to 24.
The way the text is structured is the first three verses talk to wives.
Then I think it's eight verses that talk to husbands.
And then there's a concluding verse that talks to husbands and wives together.
Maybe it's three and nine and one.
I can't remember just off the top.
But you can see there's almost three times more time he spends talking to husbands than there will be to wives.
But let's look at what it says here.
Verse 22, wives, submit to your own husbands.
Another translation is, be subject to your own husbands as to the Lord.
For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its savior.
Now, as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in all things to their husbands.
So you can see my first point that I mentioned a little bit earlier, that the fact the text is going to ground it not in something that we might say,
that sounds like it's a bit of a unique issue, but something very, very fundamental.
Christ is the head of the church, that Christ is the savior, that the church, the real church, the invisible church, is his body.
It's grounded in something which is not local, but in fact something which is universal.
And the fact of the matter is, is submit is the word in the original language.
It's not that we can sort of do around it.
It's important now as we started to try to gently look into this text, is that it doesn't say wives submit to men.
It doesn't say wives submit to, yeah, it doesn't say wives submit to men.
It says wives submit to your own husbands.
In other words, this is a text that Louise would have to read,
understanding that it's referring to how she relates to me,
and not how she relates to other men.
It's just to her own husband.
Just as, in a moment, it's a text that will be referring to me
in terms of how I relate to my wife, Louise, not to all other women.
But it's still very, very stark and very, very shocking in Canada.
In fact, some of you might say, many Canadians would say in the coffee shop
that I've actually made it worse.
Once again, there's no out and dodge around the word submit.
It says what it says, and it's very stark.
It's a strong exhortation repeated twice.
Wives submit to your own husbands.
So wives, in verse 24, should submit in all things to their husbands.
The text actually makes it worse.
Now, it looks as if I've made it worse.
But actually, it's only when we actually start to really look at the text
that we start to notice that the text, that Paul, that the Bible does something
which is unbelievably odd.
And it's such an odd thing that happens.
And let's be frank.
There is a problem with patriarchy.
It's not an imagined problem.
It might not be as extensive as some people would say, but it's a problem.
And many times, Christians, especially those who are known as evangelicals,
one of the great weaknesses of their thinking is that they talk as if patriarchy is not ever a problem,
just as they'll talk as if social class isn't a problem or racism isn't a problem.
They refuse.
We refuse to acknowledge that these are real things, real issues, real problems,
prejudice, discrimination, racism, anti-Semitism, patriarchy.
These are real problems in the world, and they have real impacts on how we read the Bible without realizing it.
And sometimes when Christians are defending the Bible, what they don't realize is they're not actually defending the Bible.
They're defending patriarchy, and they shouldn't.
And they shouldn't.
We shouldn't.
The Bible is going to do something unbelievably odd.
It's so odd that what happens is we fill in something with a patriarchal perspective that's actually not in the Bible.
Look what happens next.
So here it is, verse 24.
Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husband.
What happens next?
Look at what it says.
We'll read all of them, and then I'll point out what's so odd about it.
Husbands, love your wives.
Verse 25.
Husbands, love your wives.
It's just the plural, right?
It's not saying that husbands have more than one wife, right?
So, George, love your wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water and the word,
so that he might present the church to himself in splendor without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.
And notice this big thing.
Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.
It's a way of very powerfully saying that Jesus loves you and me to the point of dying on the cross.
He didn't die on the cross because of something he had done.
He didn't do it because it was some type of extreme sport and he wanted to win the gold medal.
No, he saw your need and mine, and so out of love for you and me, he comes and dies upon the cross for you and me.
So here's the thing which most of us don't notice.
Okay?
Normally, this is what we would expect.
Louise, submit to George in all things.
George, these are the types of things you should say.
These are the types of things you can't say.
These are the types of limits you can do.
This is the type of way that, you know, these are the benchmarks.
Is any of that there?
None.
You know what's missing in this text?
The man is not given any power to command.
Zero.
That's what we would expect.
Many Christian commentators say, well, it's assumed.
And so they fill it in with patriarchy.
No.
It's not assumed.
How do I know it's not assumed?
Well, one of the things is actually a proper use of verse 21.
Because in verse 21, right?
It's talking about you're filled with the Holy Spirit and filled in the Holy Spirit.
And if you're filled in the Holy Spirit, there's a certain way of talking with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs.
Rejoicing in making melody in your heart in all times.
You know, there's a, I can't remember what the second one is, which is terrible.
I should remember it, but I'm on a roll.
And then there's a third one, submitting to one another.
And does the text there say to other people, okay, George has to submit to everybody.
So everybody else, this is how you can boss George around.
It's not there.
It's the same word.
Why would you assume it's there in verse 25 when you assume it's not there in verse 21?
You can't.
Well, then people say, well, George, that makes no sense.
Exactly.
From the world's point of view, which rates everything with power.
It makes no sense.
But what does Jesus do?
What is the Bible doing?
The Bible is not saying this is how power works.
So this is how you have to work.
No.
What does the Bible point us to?
The gospel.
How are we to understand marriage?
Understanding the gospel.
How is a husband to understand how to relate to his wife?
Think about the gospel.
How is the wife to understand how to think about her husband?
Think about the gospel.
Not think about power.
Think about the gospel.
And so here's the shocking thing.
What you would expect normally if this was written,
what, Louise, submit in all things.
George, now we're expecting,
you're going to say something about command and said,
what does Jesus say to me?
What does the Bible say?
George, love your wife to the point of being willing to die for her.
And not just die so she can be left in poverty and sadness.
The point is that you are to understand that God's will for her is that she will be holy
and she will be beautiful and she will be whole and she will be complete.
And you are willing to die to your own.
You have to be willing.
You are exhorted, George, to die to your own will in such a way
that this work of God in her will work more and more and more and more and more.
And that, George, is your task.
Your task, George, is not how to boss her around.
Your task, if you choose to accept it,
your task, mission impossible reference, sorry,
your task is to be willing to die for your wife,
die to your own agendas,
die to all of these things and be willing to die for her.
Now, I'm going to say a little bit more about it,
but I want to show the big point about all of this.
So if I lose you for the rest of the sermon, this is the big point.
The Bible gives wise exhortations in light of the true nature of love,
the true problem of sin,
and the enduring truth of the gospel.
That's the way to understand this text.
Hopefully I have the time and I'll be able to show you
that that's, in fact, what's going on.
That the Bible gives wise exhortations,
not, it doesn't, the Bible doesn't hit the women.
It's that the, it's giving wise exhortations in light
of what all of us know is the true nature of love.
It's giving wise exhortations in light of what we all know
about the true problem of sin.
And what the world doesn't know, but we know if we're Christians,
it's giving wise exhortations in light of the enduring truth of the gospel.
And that's what Paul is doing here in chapter 5, verses 22 to 24.
So how do I say this?
What is the nature of love?
We think about it for a second.
When we're in deep love with somebody,
the first time when we fall really in love with another person,
and that love that we have for another person,
it seems like it's reciprocated.
I will give an example from the, so I was in love with Louise,
and, you know, we go on a date or two,
and then finally I get over, invited over to her house for her apartment.
She was sharing an apartment with some other people.
I get over, I get invited over for a meal and for tea,
and I, we talk, and at the time she lived in an apartment
right near James Street in Bronson.
I lived out at Bank and Hunt Club.
Those of you in Ottawa, that's a long way away.
And we stopped talking at 2.30 in the morning.
It was January.
It was minus 25.
Buses had stopped.
Uber hadn't been invented.
Taxis were for rich people.
I had to walk home.
2.30 in the morning.
Bronson and James to Bank and Hunt Club.
Now let me ask you this question.
Did I walk there along those streets thinking,
how dare she keep me talking so late?
This is terrible.
She had no concern for me and my needs
that I had to walk for so long in such a...
No!
I thought I was the luckiest guy in the world.
Quite a few years ago in this congregation,
there was a man who used to come here all the time.
And he was a really, really nice guy.
Loved wine.
Loved good food.
And he was plump.
And one day,
I come into a meeting with him
and he looked a bit flushed.
A bit pink.
And I asked him what he'd done.
He said,
I just came from jogging.
I said,
you went jogging?
That's bad people skills, by the way.
I shouldn't have said,
you went jogging?
I should have said,
way to go!
Or something like that.
But I lost it.
Because if you were to pick everybody in the church
as to who's going to go for a jog,
he would have been like right close to the bottom of the list.
Okay?
Well, how come you went jogging?
There was a girl,
a young woman.
And he liked her.
She went jogging.
He said,
you want to go jogging?
And he did.
That ended up not working out,
that relationship.
But the point is this.
Obviously,
with Louise and me,
with many, many adventures,
eventually it did work out.
But this poor fellow,
it did not work out.
And they never got together.
But here's the point.
What happens when you're really in love with another person
and you know that they're in love with you?
What happens?
You're willing to sacrifice.
The first thing about it,
when you're in love,
you feel the most yourself
that you've ever felt in your life.
Right?
When you're in love,
you feel like yourself.
You feel powerful.
You have a great identity.
You feel confident.
And you also,
what will you do?
You put yourself second
so that you can do
their other person's interest.
You're willing to sacrifice for them.
Isn't that the
true nature of love?
What else happens?
We're going to see this in a moment.
Like,
you talk to somebody,
you know,
talk to a person
and they've had a great marriage
and their husband dies
or they've had a great marriage
and it's come,
where one person really loves the other person
that's come to an end through divorce
or some other thing like that.
And for the person
who really loves the other person,
it feels like a type of death.
It feels as if there's
something in the very center
of who you are
that's been ripped out
because it's the very nature of love,
not only that you give of yourself
and that you want to give to that person,
but that you become one.
That in love,
you want to enter into the other person's life
and you want that person
to enter into you
and there's a type of oneness
so that when there's a break,
it actually feels like a type of death.
It actually feels like
there's something inside of you
that got ripped out.
That's the nature of love.
Look at what happens
in the rest of the text.
Look at verses 28 to 30.
Look at how the text talks.
Right?
Verse 28.
In the same way,
husbands should love their wives
as their own bodies.
He who loves his wife
loves himself.
This is a talking,
this isn't something
that like in terms of
overwhelming the other person.
It's describing this deep type of oneness.
It's reminding the husband
of the deep type of oneness
that happens in love.
Verse 29.
For no one ever hated his own flesh,
but nourishes and cherishes it
just as Christ does the church
because we are members of his body.
And then Paul goes
and he quotes from the book of Genesis.
Genesis chapter 2, verse 24.
He says,
Therefore a man shall leave
his father and mother
and hold fast to his wife,
and the two shall become one flesh.
This mystery is profound,
and I am saying that it refers
to Christ and the church.
He's using the Christ and the church
in this mystery of love
and the mystery of marital love
in particular,
that it's as if there's this one flesh.
So if you go back
to my point,
the Bible gives true exhortations
in light of the true nature of love.
The submitting,
the sacrificing,
the becoming one.
The entire teaching
is shaped on the true nature of love,
isn't it?
But some of you might say,
George,
this doesn't work.
This doesn't work.
George,
marriages end in divorce.
George,
there's selfishness in marriage.
George,
husbands abuse their wives.
There can be, of course,
wives abusing their husbands,
but it's a bigger problem
of husbands abusing their wives,
especially of physical violence.
And George,
this all now,
now all of a sudden,
our critics will go,
well, George,
this is just all airy-fairy.
But no.
The Bible gives
these wise exhortations
in light of the true nature of love
and the true problem of sin.
You see,
the problem is
that the Bible
is both more wildly optimistic
than the world,
but also more wildly realistic,
all within the context
of the truth of the gospel.
You see,
the problem I have often
when,
that many of us have
when we talk to Christians,
and because we live in Canada,
we have it as well,
on one hand,
what will the average Canadian say
about,
if you explain the gospel
or something like that to them,
and about Jesus dying for sinners,
and the average Canadian will say,
but people are fundamentally good.
Don't they say that?
People are fundamentally good.
I'm a good person.
But then the very,
very next breath,
they say,
you can't have advice
about this,
about marriage.
Why?
Because people aren't
fundamentally good,
and they beat each other up.
Well,
one moment,
which one is it?
I mean,
it's a type of a discontinuity
in how a lot of us think
people are fundamentally good,
but you can't give this type
of advice to people
because they'll abuse it.
Why?
Well,
because they're not
fundamentally good.
But the Bible's realistic.
The Bible doesn't say
people are fundamentally good.
It says there's an integrity
to people.
There's a longing for the good.
It says that there's common grace
and they do good things,
but it says that we are,
in fact,
bent by sin.
And you see,
this then is why
the Bible is so wise.
Right?
If you think about it for a second,
this is why
the Bible is so wise.
This is why,
if you go back
and you look later on,
remember I said
it sets before the wife
this task
of submitting to her husband
as to the Lord.
and it doesn't give
the husband
any power to command.
Instead,
it says to the husband,
husband,
love your wife
as Jesus loved his church.
In other words,
love for the sake of her,
put her so high
and the need for her
to be,
have integrity
and all of that
to the point of being willing
to die to yourself
and in fact,
even die into your own life.
Be willing to die.
And the wife
is not given
any power
to command
the husband.
Both of them
are voluntary.
Why are they voluntary?
Because there's
the true problem
of sin.
You see,
there's a task
which is enjoined,
but it's not total
submission
nor total dying.
Wives
who are here,
if your husband's
a jerk,
I don't know
if I was allowed
to say that in church,
I just did.
That's going to
really profoundly
shape
what on earth
submission's
going to look like.
If your husband's
abusive,
that's probably
going to make it
that the submitting
is going to be
almost impossible
to see
because he's abusive.
Because the nature
of the person
you're married to
is in fact
going to have
a profound
way of shaping
the godly
following
of these
exhortations.
And in fact,
it says more than this.
It's all,
it's,
it's why not only
is the command
voluntary,
so it's up to
the person
who does it,
but it's also
because they,
because the Bible
understands that sin
is fundamentally
a problem
of selfishness
and it's fundamentally
a problem
of putting yourself
at the center
of the universe
and viewing everything
from your own
perspective.
Quick example
of this
to how sin
makes us
the center
of the universe
and,
and see everything
from our own
perspective.
If at the end
of the service
I was to announce
that God
answered our prayer
in a remarkable way
and has given us
a building,
the very first thing
most of us would think
is how does this
affect me?
If I said the building
is two kilometers away,
for many of us
the very first thing
will be how does this
affect me?
Not,
praise God!
How does this affect me?
Problem of selfishness.
And so that's why
the text,
I have to watch my time,
the text
is so wise.
It sets before us
an exhortation
that's voluntary
that means
that the husband
and the wife
do it with eyes
wide open
in light of the reality
of the other person.
There's still an exhortation
to deal with
their own sin,
their own selfishness,
their own self-centeredness.
And it's also
very wise
because everything
is cast
within the reality
of the fact
that Jesus died
on the cross
for sinners.
sinners.
And that's
what brings
to the third thing.
It's not just
in light of
the true nature
of love,
the true problem
of sin,
but the enduring
truth of the gospel.
You see,
one of the things
which is so wonderful
about the text
is if you think
about it,
the husband
and the wife
together
show the beauty
of the gospel.
It's not just
that the husband
shows the beauty
of the gospel
and the wife
doesn't,
or the wife
shows the beauty
of the gospel
and the husband
doesn't.
It shows
that in a good
marriage,
a godly marriage,
it takes a husband
and wife together
so the beauty
and the power
of the gospel
is seen.
How does that work?
Well,
think about what
the gospel teaches.
What does the gospel
teach?
The gospel teaches
this,
that God
the Father,
God the Son,
God the Holy Spirit,
three persons,
one God
from all eternity,
they see human beings
made in the image
of God
and they see
that we have
made ourselves
the center,
we have made
ourselves selfish,
we now turn
from each other,
we turn from God,
we turn from the
created order,
there's this problem
of being bent
away from the good
that's at the center
of every single
human being
and human beings
cannot save
themselves
and so God
the Father
says to God
the Son
in a sense,
the only way
to save them
is to have
you
enter into
that world
and become
as one of them
and die
in their place
and so God
the Son
in submission
to his Father
sets aside
his divine glory,
his divine prerogatives,
his appearance
as God,
his majesty,
he sets
all of these
things aside,
the honor
and the glory
and the worth
that he is owed
as God,
the Son of God,
he sets them all
aside
and being
still remaining
fully God,
he humbles himself
and submits
to the demands
of love,
submits to the
Father,
submits to the need
of fallen human
beings like you
and me
and enters
the human story
as a zygote
in the womb
of Mary.
Submission.
No gospel
without submission.
And how does
the gospel continue?
The gospel
isn't all about
just the submission
of the Son
to the demands
of love
and to the Father
because there's
no gospel
without the Son
of God's
dying upon
the cross.
And so Jesus
lives a sinless
life,
miracles,
teachings,
sinless life
and dies upon
the cross.
So that you
and I
can be made
right with God
when we put
our faith
and trust
in him.
And we see
in Ephesians 5
not just
that the Bible
is giving advice
around the true
nature of love
that when we
think about it
we understand
that that's
the true nature
of love
and it's
giving exhortations
in light of
the true
problem of sin
which we all
realize there is
a true problem
of sin
and we as Christians
but not necessarily
the world
we also understand
that the entire
advice is shaped
within such a way
that in a good
marriage the husband
and wife together
make the gospel
beautiful.
Make the gospel
beautiful
to a fallen world.
Need to wrap it up.
verse 33
however let each
one of you
love his wife
as himself
and let the wife
see that she
respects her husband.
So I just want
to try to
bring it up
to a
final point
I think
I'm going to
just skip
through some
things here
you can look
it up online
some final
things
it's very
interesting
in this text
there's two
exhortations
given to women
the wives
and two
exhortations
given to the
husbands
and they're
not the same
and so
for those
women who
are married
here in the
room
the exhortations
that are given
to you
is to
submit
to your
husband
and to
respect
him
and
for some
of you
that's going
to be very
hard
maybe for
issues in
your past
some of you
it's because
your husband
isn't maybe
acting very
well right
now
but the
task that's
given to you
is to learn
how to
submit
and to learn
how to
respect
and one
of my
pieces of
advice to
you would
be that
next time
you give
your husband
a card
don't say
on it
I love
you
but say
on it
I respect
you
I don't
know why
the Bible
says that
rather than
something else
but that's
what the Bible
says
say I
respect
you
and maybe
rather than
saying the
different ways
that you
love him
say these
are the
ways I
respect
you
and for
husbands
who are
here
there's two
different
commands
in this
text
you go
back
and you
look
there's
two
imperatives
in the
text
given to
men
different
than the
ones
that are
given
to
the
wives
the
two
imperatives
given
to
husbands
is
this
agape
love
that's a
self-giving
putting the
other first
seeking the
true good
of the
other
agape
love your
wife
to the
point of
being willing
to set
aside
your power
and your
prerogatives
and your
agendas
and so
love your
wife
and that
obviously
also includes
love as
affection
and it
is very
appropriate
husbands
that if you
write a card
for your
wife
don't say
I respect
you
say I
love
you
and to
figure out
in the
light of
your
marriage
how it
is that
you were
to put
such love
into practice
for your
wife
and the
other thing
and this
is a
mystery
and I
don't have
time to
go into
it but it
must be
very important
because it's
in Genesis
chapter 2
Jesus quotes
it Paul
quotes it
it's in
several parts
of the
Bible
is that
guys who
are married
you need
to learn
to set
aside and
leave your
your mother
and father
your task
is to
leave your
mother
and father
and live
with your
wife in
such a
way
that you
unite and
relate to
her
to move
towards
one flesh
that's your
task guys
that's my
task
to be
willing to
love my
wife Louise
to learn
that I
to be
challenged
to continually
love my
wife in
such a way
that I'm
willing to
die for
her
and understand
the mystery
of what it
means to
leave my
mother and
father behind
to pursue
being one
flesh with
her
that's the
task
singles
you get to
listen in on
an odd
sermon
all I can
tell you is
you've gotten
some advice
about how to
pray for your
married friends
please stand
one of the
things which I
didn't mention
in this
sermon
I'm going to
mention it
right now
which is still
technically part of
the sermon
is if you go
back and you
read verses
chapter 5
verse 15
to 21
that long
sentence
and the
sort of the
governing verse
is walk in
love
and then
but the more
specific thing
that governs
the next little
bit and governs
the rest of the
text is that we
are to learn to
live in the
spirit
and the fact
of the matter
is both
husbands and
wives and
for singles
who have the
task of living
as a single
life to the
glory of God
is the
wonderful thing
about marriage
for us as
Christians
isn't that there's
somehow on one
level something
different for
Christian marriage
than non-Christian
marriage
marriage was
instituted by
God before the
fall it's woven
into the created
order it's part of
how all marriages
are to work
it's why many
non-Christian
marriages are
better than
Christian marriages
because marriage
is integral to
the way man
and woman
male and female
were created
and it's just
there but the
thing which is
specifically helpful
for us is not
just that we
look to the
gospel to
shape how we
live our lives
and to shape
our imagination
and to shape
the healing of
our memory
and the healing
of our wounds
but to also
understand that we
don't do our
marriage alone
that for you
and me who
are in Jesus
we dwell in the
Holy Spirit
and God in
particular
joins us to
call upon the
help of the
Holy Spirit
to figure out
how to live
and embody
these exhortations
in the real
context of our
own marriage
how to repent
and what to
pursue
let's pray
Father if there
are any here
who have not
yet given
their lives
to Jesus
I ask that
you would
make the
gospel more
beautiful and
more real to
them and move
in their hearts
that they would
give their lives
to Jesus
even today
Father for
those of us
who are here
who are not
in marriage
we bless you
for them
we ask that
the Holy Spirit
would move in a
mighty and
powerful way
in the midst
of their singleness
that their life
as a single
person would be
lived in such a
way that the
gospel is made
beautiful
that they come
closer and
closer to Jesus
that they are
filled more and
more by the Holy
Spirit and know
the integrity
that they have
as a single
made in your
image and
redeemed by
Jesus and your
child by
adoption and
grace
and Father for
those of us
who are husbands
and wives
we ask that
the Holy Spirit
would move with
might and power
and deep conviction
in our marriage
that you would
help us Father
to remember
these exhortations
and that you
would fan into
flame within us
a longing and
yearning to be
so gripped by
the gospel
that we seek
to pursue
that which you
exhort us to
seek and that
we would be
willing to repent
of those things
that we need
to repent of
that our
marriages Father
that our
individual lives
and our
marriages might
make the gospel
beautiful
Father that
is our
prayer
and we
ask this in
the name of
Jesus and
all God's
people said
Amen