WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:08.320 Well, good morning, everyone. We're up to marriage number seven, marriage week number seven, that is. 00:00:09.460 --> 00:00:17.679 ! We've been spending several weeks unpacking these passages, these verses in Ephesians 5, 00:00:17.679 --> 00:00:26.400 ! and particularly unravelling the profound mystery of marriage, the mystery that is the gospel of Jesus Christ 00:00:26.399 --> 00:00:36.780 and marriage between a man and a woman explain each other. As I've said a number of times, marriage is the ultimate human relationship, 00:00:36.780 --> 00:00:43.759 but it is the penultimate relationship. It points to the eternal marriage of Christ and his church. 00:00:45.099 --> 00:00:53.079 And we've seen that marriage is a public, legal, binding covenant between a man and a woman to share all of their life together, 00:00:53.079 --> 00:01:02.899 in which their union, the differences in their union, in them as individuals made in the image of God, 00:01:02.899 --> 00:01:10.659 they are equal and they complement one another, shaping each other, preparing each other for the ultimate and eternal marriage with Christ. 00:01:11.819 --> 00:01:21.039 And so therefore, the practice of truth and love and grace are essential in terms of shaping that. 00:01:21.040 --> 00:01:30.640 And so we're up to number seven of unpacking these verses, and you really can't have a series about marriage 00:01:30.640 --> 00:01:38.020 without at least one message on sex, especially so because in the Bible, in the biblical ethic, 00:01:39.780 --> 00:01:47.780 the marriage between a man and a woman is the only place which sex is to be practised. 00:01:47.780 --> 00:01:50.460 And so that's what we're looking at today. 00:01:50.739 --> 00:01:55.900 And if you've got the St. Paul's app, there's four points today. 00:01:56.099 --> 00:02:01.040 Sex in the city, sex in the Bible, sex in marriage, and I was going to say sex in the future, 00:02:01.840 --> 00:02:04.579 but let's just call it the glorious sex instead. 00:02:05.879 --> 00:02:07.760 Okay, so let's jump into that. 00:02:08.759 --> 00:02:09.280 We'll begin. 00:02:09.560 --> 00:02:15.420 I want to look just very briefly at three broad attitudes to sex throughout history, 00:02:15.419 --> 00:02:19.319 and they are very broad throughout culture and history. 00:02:19.919 --> 00:02:26.519 The first one says that sex is really a natural appetite. 00:02:26.719 --> 00:02:29.239 It's just a bodily function. 00:02:29.479 --> 00:02:40.359 And this view suggests that sex, like eating, is a good and natural appetite that ought to be pursued. 00:02:40.360 --> 00:02:48.500 And so you even see glimpses of this in 1 Corinthians, where Paul pushes back against that view. 00:02:48.940 --> 00:02:55.080 The implication is that a person should always, therefore, be free to fulfil that appetite. 00:02:55.300 --> 00:02:58.860 Whenever they get the appetite, they should fulfil it. 00:02:58.860 --> 00:03:09.140 In fact, forbidding that natural appetite, the satisfaction of it, or even limiting it in any kind of way, 00:03:09.520 --> 00:03:12.820 is as unhealthy as trying to stop eating for years. 00:03:13.560 --> 00:03:17.920 And so in a culture that says, which we exist in our modern culture, 00:03:18.640 --> 00:03:25.940 that the pursuit of pleasure is the greatest good, that is, it's the philosophy of hedonism. 00:03:25.939 --> 00:03:28.680 You pursue pleasure in life. 00:03:28.759 --> 00:03:29.800 That's why we exist. 00:03:30.139 --> 00:03:32.919 My personal happiness and satisfaction is why I exist. 00:03:33.520 --> 00:03:39.319 And sex being the ultimate sense of personal satisfaction and pleasure, 00:03:39.460 --> 00:03:44.139 then therefore it should be pursued without any form of hindrance at all. 00:03:45.479 --> 00:03:48.800 Now, we often identify this with the modern time, 00:03:49.300 --> 00:03:55.079 but it's actually something that has deep historical roots way back in history. 00:03:55.080 --> 00:03:58.160 Even into Greek philosophy. 00:03:59.180 --> 00:04:02.640 The second view is one that's a bit more negative. 00:04:03.580 --> 00:04:09.060 Sex is seen as a lower physical nature, 00:04:09.520 --> 00:04:14.220 and it's distinct from a higher rational, more spiritual nature. 00:04:14.700 --> 00:04:18.460 This too goes all the way back into Greek philosophy, 00:04:18.460 --> 00:04:20.699 and you'll see this in 1 Corinthians as well. 00:04:20.699 --> 00:04:27.779 And so therefore, this view generally sees sex as degrading. 00:04:28.199 --> 00:04:32.019 It's a necessary evil to keep the human race going on, 00:04:32.099 --> 00:04:33.860 but that's really it. 00:04:35.039 --> 00:04:37.699 And in our modern day, 00:04:38.319 --> 00:04:45.139 this is viewed broadly as the Christian view of sex, 00:04:45.740 --> 00:04:48.060 that it's a necessary evil. 00:04:48.259 --> 00:04:48.759 That's it. 00:04:48.759 --> 00:04:53.060 And it would see that this is the Bible's view of sex as well. 00:04:53.860 --> 00:04:58.099 Now, the third view, which is quite prominent in our society, 00:04:58.279 --> 00:05:02.159 increasingly so since the sexual revolution in the 1960s, 00:05:03.860 --> 00:05:07.980 the first view sees sex as an unavoidable drive. 00:05:08.399 --> 00:05:11.319 The second sees it as a necessary evil, 00:05:11.319 --> 00:05:21.779 and the third sees it as a critical form of personal identity and of self-expression. 00:05:23.839 --> 00:05:26.659 Historically, in the various views of sex, 00:05:26.800 --> 00:05:32.120 this one is a very, very modern concept. 00:05:32.680 --> 00:05:34.639 It doesn't have historical roots. 00:05:34.639 --> 00:05:36.819 It's very much a modern concept. 00:05:37.819 --> 00:05:38.500 And that is, 00:05:39.019 --> 00:05:40.699 sex, sexual expression, 00:05:40.979 --> 00:05:43.579 is a way that you are to be yourself 00:05:43.579 --> 00:05:45.680 and to find yourself. 00:05:46.639 --> 00:05:47.439 And therefore, 00:05:47.939 --> 00:05:50.539 sex in a physical sense 00:05:50.539 --> 00:05:52.419 is primarily 00:05:52.419 --> 00:05:54.399 for my individual, 00:05:54.399 --> 00:05:56.000 physical fulfillment 00:05:56.000 --> 00:05:59.139 and my self-discovery. 00:06:01.079 --> 00:06:03.019 It's a core of who I am 00:06:03.019 --> 00:06:04.259 and my self-expression. 00:06:05.319 --> 00:06:07.479 Now, the modern sexual revolution 00:06:07.479 --> 00:06:11.199 finds the idea of abstinence from sex 00:06:11.199 --> 00:06:12.339 in any form 00:06:12.339 --> 00:06:14.000 until marriage 00:06:14.000 --> 00:06:16.739 to not just to be unrealistic, 00:06:16.740 --> 00:06:19.259 but in fact to be ludicrous. 00:06:20.340 --> 00:06:22.100 It is absolute insanity. 00:06:23.040 --> 00:06:24.400 In fact, for many people, 00:06:25.019 --> 00:06:28.560 it does psychological harm. 00:06:29.160 --> 00:06:31.439 It's viewed as psychologically unhelpful 00:06:31.439 --> 00:06:32.240 and unhealthy 00:06:32.240 --> 00:06:35.500 to restrict yourself sexually, 00:06:35.860 --> 00:06:37.079 expressing yourself sexually. 00:06:38.060 --> 00:06:39.180 So that's, 00:06:39.579 --> 00:06:39.960 you know, 00:06:40.180 --> 00:06:41.600 sex in the city 00:06:41.600 --> 00:06:42.540 and the third view 00:06:42.540 --> 00:06:44.319 is very, very prominent 00:06:44.319 --> 00:06:46.340 in our day and age. 00:06:46.339 --> 00:06:48.560 So what is the Bible's view of sex then? 00:06:49.060 --> 00:06:50.319 It is, in fact, 00:06:50.399 --> 00:06:51.199 radically different. 00:06:52.079 --> 00:06:53.299 The Bible, in fact, 00:06:53.439 --> 00:06:54.099 does see, 00:06:54.339 --> 00:06:55.179 radically different 00:06:55.179 --> 00:06:56.519 and yet not entirely different. 00:06:57.060 --> 00:06:58.500 The Bible actually does see 00:06:58.500 --> 00:06:59.779 that sex is an appetite, 00:07:00.319 --> 00:07:02.000 but not in the same category 00:07:02.000 --> 00:07:03.739 that we might need 00:07:03.739 --> 00:07:05.459 food or sleep. 00:07:07.459 --> 00:07:09.419 Nor does the Bible view 00:07:09.419 --> 00:07:10.319 any appetite 00:07:10.319 --> 00:07:11.679 as something 00:07:11.679 --> 00:07:13.519 that should be gratified 00:07:13.519 --> 00:07:15.179 whenever we feel like it 00:07:15.179 --> 00:07:16.319 as much as we like. 00:07:17.239 --> 00:07:19.239 And that is pretty common wisdom 00:07:19.239 --> 00:07:20.599 in our society. 00:07:21.459 --> 00:07:23.060 Too many struggle 00:07:23.060 --> 00:07:24.419 to discipline their eating 00:07:24.419 --> 00:07:25.319 or their sleeping 00:07:25.319 --> 00:07:28.679 because our appetites for food 00:07:28.679 --> 00:07:29.799 and for sleep 00:07:29.799 --> 00:07:32.219 is seriously out of line 00:07:32.219 --> 00:07:34.339 with what our bodies really need. 00:07:36.919 --> 00:07:38.359 Most of us would rather 00:07:38.359 --> 00:07:39.859 be in bed right now. 00:07:41.319 --> 00:07:42.559 That's the reality. 00:07:42.560 --> 00:07:46.920 And when you have a buffet breakfast 00:07:46.920 --> 00:07:47.939 put in front of you 00:07:47.939 --> 00:07:48.680 at a hotel, 00:07:49.139 --> 00:07:50.280 you want everything. 00:07:50.980 --> 00:07:51.759 It's not just about 00:07:51.759 --> 00:07:53.040 getting your money's worth. 00:07:53.240 --> 00:07:54.439 You just want everything. 00:07:54.560 --> 00:07:55.740 You want to have a crack at it all. 00:07:56.899 --> 00:07:57.579 And so, 00:07:57.660 --> 00:07:57.819 therefore, 00:07:57.860 --> 00:07:58.819 it needs to be restricted. 00:07:59.819 --> 00:08:01.079 And our sex drive 00:08:01.079 --> 00:08:02.180 needs more boundaries 00:08:02.180 --> 00:08:02.899 and discipline 00:08:02.899 --> 00:08:03.980 because sex 00:08:03.980 --> 00:08:05.699 does not just shape 00:08:05.699 --> 00:08:08.500 my physical being, 00:08:08.500 --> 00:08:11.160 it shapes our inner being 00:08:11.160 --> 00:08:12.079 as well. 00:08:13.779 --> 00:08:15.279 It shapes our heart. 00:08:17.819 --> 00:08:18.339 Sex, 00:08:19.079 --> 00:08:19.339 I'm sorry, 00:08:19.459 --> 00:08:20.720 sin in our hearts 00:08:20.720 --> 00:08:23.399 distorts our passions, 00:08:23.660 --> 00:08:24.740 all of our passions, 00:08:24.879 --> 00:08:25.639 our desires, 00:08:26.379 --> 00:08:28.120 and especially so for sex. 00:08:28.120 --> 00:08:30.500 Because sex 00:08:30.500 --> 00:08:34.679 is for whole life self-giving. 00:08:36.399 --> 00:08:38.220 That's its design by God. 00:08:38.299 --> 00:08:39.120 That's its purpose. 00:08:39.779 --> 00:08:40.799 It's designed 00:08:40.799 --> 00:08:43.560 for whole life self-giving. 00:08:44.779 --> 00:08:46.960 But the sin in the heart says, 00:08:47.279 --> 00:08:50.120 I want it for selfish reasons. 00:08:50.120 --> 00:08:53.480 And so, 00:08:53.560 --> 00:08:55.120 the Bible puts many rules 00:08:55.799 --> 00:08:56.879 around sex 00:08:56.879 --> 00:08:58.200 to direct its use 00:08:58.200 --> 00:08:59.919 in the right way 00:08:59.919 --> 00:09:01.759 not 00:09:01.759 --> 00:09:06.340 to diminish 00:09:06.340 --> 00:09:08.220 pleasures in life, 00:09:08.659 --> 00:09:11.200 but in order to protect us, 00:09:12.860 --> 00:09:14.399 to shape our hearts. 00:09:16.940 --> 00:09:17.220 And so, 00:09:17.279 --> 00:09:18.259 the Bible does see it 00:09:18.259 --> 00:09:18.980 as an appetite, 00:09:18.980 --> 00:09:19.940 but with boundaries. 00:09:21.019 --> 00:09:22.560 Neither does the Bible 00:09:22.560 --> 00:09:23.220 see sex, 00:09:23.320 --> 00:09:24.500 it certainly doesn't see sex 00:09:24.500 --> 00:09:25.720 as dirty or demeaning 00:09:25.720 --> 00:09:26.840 or degrading. 00:09:27.179 --> 00:09:27.460 In fact, 00:09:27.519 --> 00:09:28.779 the entire Bible 00:09:28.779 --> 00:09:30.519 contradicts this view. 00:09:31.940 --> 00:09:32.960 Biblical Christianity 00:09:32.960 --> 00:09:33.620 is, 00:09:34.200 --> 00:09:35.440 I would suggest, 00:09:35.580 --> 00:09:36.019 the most 00:09:36.019 --> 00:09:39.240 bodily positive religion 00:09:39.240 --> 00:09:40.299 in the entire world. 00:09:41.600 --> 00:09:42.460 It teaches 00:09:42.460 --> 00:09:44.159 that God made matter. 00:09:44.840 --> 00:09:45.480 He made 00:09:45.480 --> 00:09:47.340 our physical bodies good. 00:09:47.620 --> 00:09:49.759 And the greatest evidence 00:09:49.759 --> 00:09:51.460 that it is so 00:09:51.460 --> 00:09:53.139 body positive 00:09:53.139 --> 00:09:55.939 is that God himself, 00:09:56.759 --> 00:09:57.539 God the Son, 00:09:57.659 --> 00:09:58.360 took on 00:09:58.360 --> 00:10:00.039 human form. 00:10:02.080 --> 00:10:03.379 And the promise 00:10:03.379 --> 00:10:05.139 for those who trust in Jesus 00:10:05.139 --> 00:10:06.580 is a future 00:10:06.580 --> 00:10:08.419 in his presence 00:10:08.419 --> 00:10:09.939 with perfect, 00:10:10.360 --> 00:10:11.460 resurrected bodies 00:10:11.460 --> 00:10:13.659 in a physical world. 00:10:13.659 --> 00:10:18.480 The Christian hope 00:10:18.480 --> 00:10:20.199 is physical. 00:10:23.759 --> 00:10:25.079 The thing that we love 00:10:25.079 --> 00:10:25.799 in this world 00:10:25.799 --> 00:10:27.159 perfected and restored. 00:10:27.159 --> 00:10:27.299 God the Lord. 00:10:29.559 --> 00:10:30.319 And as we've seen 00:10:30.319 --> 00:10:31.000 throughout this series, 00:10:31.100 --> 00:10:32.439 God created sexuality 00:10:32.439 --> 00:10:34.079 and gave a woman 00:10:34.079 --> 00:10:34.779 and a man 00:10:34.779 --> 00:10:35.699 to each other 00:10:35.699 --> 00:10:36.699 in the very beginning. 00:10:37.959 --> 00:10:38.559 The Bible 00:10:38.559 --> 00:10:39.659 is not prudish 00:10:39.659 --> 00:10:40.600 in any way. 00:10:41.059 --> 00:10:42.240 It is pro-sex 00:10:42.240 --> 00:10:43.360 in every way. 00:10:43.759 --> 00:10:44.639 It contains 00:10:44.639 --> 00:10:46.219 great love poetry 00:10:46.219 --> 00:10:47.759 that celebrates 00:10:47.759 --> 00:10:49.199 sexual passion 00:10:49.199 --> 00:10:49.799 and pleasure. 00:10:49.799 --> 00:10:50.539 love poetry 00:10:50.539 --> 00:10:51.199 and love 00:10:51.199 --> 00:10:51.919 Proverbs 5, 00:10:52.019 --> 00:10:52.639 19. 00:10:53.719 --> 00:10:54.839 Husbands are encouraged 00:10:54.839 --> 00:10:55.740 to let their wives 00:10:55.740 --> 00:10:56.659 breastfill them 00:10:56.659 --> 00:10:57.199 with delight 00:10:57.199 --> 00:10:58.479 and be intoxicated 00:10:58.479 --> 00:11:00.179 by their sexual love. 00:11:00.919 --> 00:11:01.879 Song of Songs 00:11:01.879 --> 00:11:03.620 is another Old Testament book 00:11:03.620 --> 00:11:04.919 that rejoices 00:11:04.919 --> 00:11:06.240 in the delights 00:11:06.240 --> 00:11:07.839 of sexual love 00:11:07.839 --> 00:11:08.699 in marriage. 00:11:09.379 --> 00:11:09.579 In 00:11:09.579 --> 00:11:12.339 Song 5, 00:11:12.459 --> 00:11:13.859 verses 10 to 16, 00:11:14.500 --> 00:11:15.699 it is the wife 00:11:15.699 --> 00:11:17.279 who candidly 00:11:17.279 --> 00:11:19.299 expresses her physical attraction 00:11:19.299 --> 00:11:21.179 towards her husband. 00:11:23.419 --> 00:11:23.720 Now, 00:11:24.480 --> 00:11:25.799 when you go there 00:11:25.799 --> 00:11:26.939 and you read that, 00:11:28.139 --> 00:11:29.519 I think virtually 00:11:29.519 --> 00:11:32.000 every English translation 00:11:32.000 --> 00:11:34.199 hesitates 00:11:34.199 --> 00:11:36.620 in its translation 00:11:36.620 --> 00:11:37.319 of the Hebrew. 00:11:38.100 --> 00:11:39.279 Every one of them does. 00:11:40.519 --> 00:11:41.279 The Hebrew 00:11:41.279 --> 00:11:42.519 in there 00:11:42.519 --> 00:11:43.339 is 00:11:43.339 --> 00:11:44.579 what you would 00:11:44.579 --> 00:11:45.579 describe as 00:11:45.579 --> 00:11:45.899 scholars 00:11:45.899 --> 00:11:47.500 as being 00:11:47.500 --> 00:11:48.519 embarrassingly 00:11:48.519 --> 00:11:49.279 erotic. 00:11:51.360 --> 00:11:51.980 And most 00:11:51.980 --> 00:11:52.659 translators, 00:11:52.860 --> 00:11:53.159 frankly, 00:11:53.279 --> 00:11:54.340 cannot bring themselves 00:11:54.340 --> 00:11:55.699 to bring out 00:11:55.699 --> 00:11:56.860 the obvious meaning 00:11:56.860 --> 00:11:58.379 of those verses 00:11:58.379 --> 00:12:00.179 which is 00:12:00.179 --> 00:12:01.360 very clearly 00:12:01.360 --> 00:12:02.519 of her 00:12:02.519 --> 00:12:03.679 arousal 00:12:03.679 --> 00:12:04.480 and her 00:12:04.480 --> 00:12:05.100 preparation 00:12:05.100 --> 00:12:05.840 for sex. 00:12:07.120 --> 00:12:07.919 That's what's 00:12:07.919 --> 00:12:08.559 happening in these 00:12:08.559 --> 00:12:08.899 verses. 00:12:09.340 --> 00:12:09.860 There's no 00:12:09.860 --> 00:12:11.879 shame here. 00:12:12.059 --> 00:12:12.240 I mean, 00:12:12.299 --> 00:12:13.079 the translators 00:12:13.079 --> 00:12:13.399 do it. 00:12:13.439 --> 00:12:14.079 The translators 00:12:14.079 --> 00:12:15.079 turn the lights 00:12:15.080 --> 00:12:16.040 off and dim the lights 00:12:16.040 --> 00:12:16.560 a little bit. 00:12:17.700 --> 00:12:18.780 But there's no 00:12:18.780 --> 00:12:19.320 shy, 00:12:19.540 --> 00:12:19.940 shame, 00:12:20.100 --> 00:12:20.759 turn the lights 00:12:20.759 --> 00:12:21.100 down, 00:12:21.200 --> 00:12:22.100 mechanical movement 00:12:22.100 --> 00:12:23.040 under the sheets. 00:12:23.860 --> 00:12:25.040 It is very clear 00:12:25.040 --> 00:12:25.820 in the Hebrew 00:12:25.820 --> 00:12:28.040 what's happening. 00:12:28.700 --> 00:12:29.220 The two 00:12:29.220 --> 00:12:30.340 are standing 00:12:30.340 --> 00:12:31.400 before each other. 00:12:31.759 --> 00:12:32.200 They are 00:12:32.200 --> 00:12:32.680 round 00:12:32.680 --> 00:12:33.420 and feeling 00:12:33.420 --> 00:12:34.500 no shame 00:12:34.500 --> 00:12:36.500 but only joy 00:12:36.500 --> 00:12:37.600 in each other's 00:12:37.600 --> 00:12:38.520 sexuality. 00:12:39.300 --> 00:12:39.860 In other words, 00:12:39.920 --> 00:12:40.780 if you haven't got it, 00:12:41.940 --> 00:12:42.860 Song of Songs 5, 00:12:42.860 --> 00:12:44.639 10 to 16 00:12:44.639 --> 00:12:46.200 is foreplay 00:12:46.200 --> 00:12:46.840 if you haven't 00:12:46.840 --> 00:12:47.539 got that worked 00:12:47.539 --> 00:12:48.000 out yet. 00:12:51.320 --> 00:12:52.180 The Bible 00:12:52.180 --> 00:12:52.899 is very 00:12:52.899 --> 00:12:53.460 uncomfortable 00:12:53.460 --> 00:12:54.100 for the 00:12:54.100 --> 00:12:54.680 prudish. 00:12:57.960 --> 00:12:58.800 The Bible 00:12:58.800 --> 00:12:59.500 also doesn't 00:12:59.500 --> 00:13:00.200 see sex 00:13:00.200 --> 00:13:00.840 as being 00:13:00.840 --> 00:13:01.440 primarily 00:13:01.440 --> 00:13:01.940 about 00:13:01.940 --> 00:13:02.519 individual 00:13:02.519 --> 00:13:03.000 happiness 00:13:03.000 --> 00:13:03.759 and fulfillment 00:13:03.759 --> 00:13:05.759 but that 00:13:05.759 --> 00:13:06.220 does not 00:13:06.220 --> 00:13:06.639 mean that 00:13:06.639 --> 00:13:07.039 sex 00:13:07.039 --> 00:13:07.659 is not 00:13:07.659 --> 00:13:07.980 about 00:13:07.980 --> 00:13:08.460 joy 00:13:08.460 --> 00:13:09.460 and pleasure 00:13:09.460 --> 00:13:10.440 and fulfillment. 00:13:12.519 --> 00:13:13.340 What the Bible 00:13:13.340 --> 00:13:14.680 teaches us 00:13:14.680 --> 00:13:16.000 is that 00:13:16.000 --> 00:13:16.600 sex is 00:13:16.600 --> 00:13:17.280 primarily 00:13:17.280 --> 00:13:18.360 a way 00:13:18.360 --> 00:13:19.420 of knowing 00:13:19.420 --> 00:13:19.980 God 00:13:19.980 --> 00:13:20.580 and building 00:13:20.580 --> 00:13:21.200 community 00:13:21.200 --> 00:13:22.540 and if you 00:13:22.540 --> 00:13:23.100 use it 00:13:23.100 --> 00:13:23.680 for those 00:13:23.680 --> 00:13:24.340 things 00:13:24.340 --> 00:13:25.460 rather 00:13:25.460 --> 00:13:26.200 than for 00:13:26.200 --> 00:13:26.720 your own 00:13:26.720 --> 00:13:27.300 personal 00:13:27.300 --> 00:13:28.160 satisfaction, 00:13:28.680 --> 00:13:29.500 it will 00:13:29.500 --> 00:13:29.920 lead 00:13:29.920 --> 00:13:30.540 ultimately 00:13:30.540 --> 00:13:31.160 to greater 00:13:31.160 --> 00:13:31.720 fulfillment 00:13:31.720 --> 00:13:32.160 than you 00:13:32.160 --> 00:13:32.480 could ever 00:13:32.480 --> 00:13:32.940 imagine. 00:13:32.940 --> 00:13:36.040 The first 00:13:36.040 --> 00:13:36.700 explicit 00:13:36.700 --> 00:13:37.140 mention 00:13:37.140 --> 00:13:37.800 of sex 00:13:37.800 --> 00:13:38.580 in the 00:13:38.580 --> 00:13:38.920 Bible 00:13:38.920 --> 00:13:40.000 is 00:13:40.000 --> 00:13:40.360 within 00:13:40.360 --> 00:13:40.580 the 00:13:40.580 --> 00:13:40.800 first 00:13:40.800 --> 00:13:41.040 two 00:13:41.040 --> 00:13:41.700 chapters, 00:13:42.460 --> 00:13:42.760 Genesis 00:13:42.760 --> 00:13:43.820 2.24 00:13:43.820 --> 00:13:44.720 which Paul 00:13:44.720 --> 00:13:45.260 quotes 00:13:45.260 --> 00:13:46.060 in Ephesians 00:13:46.060 --> 00:13:46.620 5 that 00:13:46.620 --> 00:13:47.020 Mark just 00:13:47.020 --> 00:13:47.420 read out 00:13:47.420 --> 00:13:47.840 for us 00:13:47.840 --> 00:13:49.000 where it 00:13:49.000 --> 00:13:49.420 says 00:13:49.420 --> 00:13:50.620 the male 00:13:50.620 --> 00:13:51.540 and the 00:13:51.540 --> 00:13:51.880 female 00:13:51.880 --> 00:13:53.340 are united 00:13:53.340 --> 00:13:55.120 to become 00:13:55.120 --> 00:13:55.880 one 00:13:55.880 --> 00:13:56.740 flesh. 00:13:58.420 --> 00:13:58.640 Now 00:13:58.640 --> 00:13:59.300 this is 00:13:59.300 --> 00:14:00.500 referring 00:14:00.500 --> 00:14:01.279 to 00:14:01.279 --> 00:14:02.000 physical 00:14:02.000 --> 00:14:03.200 and 00:14:03.200 --> 00:14:04.759 primarily 00:14:04.759 --> 00:14:05.480 a sexual 00:14:05.480 --> 00:14:06.120 union 00:14:06.120 --> 00:14:07.639 but it's 00:14:07.639 --> 00:14:08.200 referring to 00:14:08.200 --> 00:14:08.759 something much 00:14:08.759 --> 00:14:09.440 greater as 00:14:09.440 --> 00:14:09.779 well. 00:14:11.639 --> 00:14:12.559 The word 00:14:12.559 --> 00:14:13.440 flesh there 00:14:13.440 --> 00:14:15.299 is a 00:14:15.299 --> 00:14:15.759 figure of 00:14:15.759 --> 00:14:16.340 speech 00:14:16.340 --> 00:14:18.120 where it 00:14:18.120 --> 00:14:18.799 says God 00:14:18.799 --> 00:14:20.080 they become 00:14:20.080 --> 00:14:20.860 one flesh. 00:14:21.320 --> 00:14:21.799 It's a 00:14:21.799 --> 00:14:22.220 figure of 00:14:22.220 --> 00:14:22.759 speech 00:14:22.759 --> 00:14:24.120 in which 00:14:24.120 --> 00:14:25.379 a part 00:14:25.379 --> 00:14:26.759 is used 00:14:26.759 --> 00:14:27.519 to represent 00:14:27.519 --> 00:14:28.419 the whole. 00:14:29.360 --> 00:14:30.100 In other 00:14:30.100 --> 00:14:30.500 words it 00:14:30.500 --> 00:14:30.800 doesn't 00:14:30.800 --> 00:14:31.200 mean 00:14:31.200 --> 00:14:31.700 just 00:14:31.700 --> 00:14:32.519 the 00:14:32.519 --> 00:14:35.460 meat 00:14:35.460 --> 00:14:35.860 and the 00:14:35.860 --> 00:14:36.139 skin 00:14:36.139 --> 00:14:37.139 and the 00:14:37.139 --> 00:14:37.700 tendons 00:14:37.700 --> 00:14:38.080 and stuff. 00:14:38.139 --> 00:14:38.399 It's not 00:14:38.399 --> 00:14:38.879 referring to 00:14:38.879 --> 00:14:39.420 that in 00:14:39.420 --> 00:14:39.759 terms of 00:14:39.759 --> 00:14:40.139 flesh. 00:14:42.060 --> 00:14:42.440 It's 00:14:42.440 --> 00:14:43.060 referring to 00:14:43.060 --> 00:14:43.620 a part 00:14:43.620 --> 00:14:44.180 that represents 00:14:44.180 --> 00:14:44.519 the whole. 00:14:44.620 --> 00:14:44.899 In the same 00:14:44.899 --> 00:14:45.240 way if I 00:14:45.240 --> 00:14:45.460 said to 00:14:45.460 --> 00:14:45.680 you hey 00:14:45.680 --> 00:14:46.040 would someone 00:14:46.040 --> 00:14:46.460 just duck 00:14:46.460 --> 00:14:46.779 out and 00:14:46.779 --> 00:14:47.220 count heads 00:14:47.220 --> 00:14:47.500 for me 00:14:47.500 --> 00:14:47.720 out in 00:14:47.720 --> 00:14:47.920 kids 00:14:47.920 --> 00:14:48.259 church? 00:14:49.259 --> 00:14:49.659 Literally 00:14:49.659 --> 00:14:50.000 what I 00:14:50.000 --> 00:14:50.360 mean by 00:14:50.360 --> 00:14:50.720 that is 00:14:50.720 --> 00:14:50.940 I want 00:14:50.940 --> 00:14:51.080 you to 00:14:51.080 --> 00:14:51.279 get how 00:14:51.279 --> 00:14:51.399 many 00:14:51.399 --> 00:14:51.740 people 00:14:51.740 --> 00:14:51.920 are 00:14:51.920 --> 00:14:52.139 out 00:14:52.139 --> 00:14:52.440 there. 00:14:52.440 --> 00:14:53.000 Not 00:14:53.000 --> 00:14:53.279 how many 00:14:53.279 --> 00:14:53.639 heads 00:14:53.639 --> 00:14:53.779 are 00:14:53.779 --> 00:14:53.980 out 00:14:53.980 --> 00:14:54.279 there. 00:14:56.980 --> 00:14:57.420 Joel 00:14:57.420 --> 00:14:58.440 chapter 2 00:14:58.440 --> 00:14:59.340 verse 00:14:59.340 --> 00:15:00.000 28 00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:00.919 helps us 00:15:00.919 --> 00:15:01.720 understand 00:15:01.720 --> 00:15:02.139 what it 00:15:02.139 --> 00:15:02.759 means when 00:15:02.759 --> 00:15:03.279 it says 00:15:03.279 --> 00:15:03.820 here one 00:15:03.820 --> 00:15:04.379 flesh. 00:15:05.200 --> 00:15:05.580 God 00:15:05.580 --> 00:15:06.440 promises to 00:15:06.440 --> 00:15:06.940 pour out 00:15:06.940 --> 00:15:07.779 his spirit 00:15:07.779 --> 00:15:09.179 on all 00:15:09.179 --> 00:15:10.179 flesh. 00:15:11.639 --> 00:15:11.940 Now that 00:15:11.940 --> 00:15:12.720 doesn't mean 00:15:12.720 --> 00:15:14.000 that when 00:15:14.000 --> 00:15:15.139 God pours out 00:15:15.139 --> 00:15:15.679 his spirit 00:15:15.679 --> 00:15:16.039 it's just 00:15:16.039 --> 00:15:16.340 for our 00:15:16.340 --> 00:15:16.620 bodies 00:15:16.620 --> 00:15:17.139 that's it. 00:15:18.320 --> 00:15:18.559 Just 00:15:18.559 --> 00:15:19.460 giving it 00:15:19.460 --> 00:15:20.240 to the 00:15:20.240 --> 00:15:20.500 meat 00:15:20.500 --> 00:15:20.759 and the 00:15:20.759 --> 00:15:21.340 tendons. 00:15:21.340 --> 00:15:24.259 Genesis 2 00:15:24.259 --> 00:15:25.120 and Ephesians 00:15:25.120 --> 00:15:26.000 5 is 00:15:26.000 --> 00:15:26.560 saying that 00:15:26.560 --> 00:15:27.720 marriage is 00:15:27.720 --> 00:15:28.680 a union 00:15:28.680 --> 00:15:30.139 between two 00:15:30.139 --> 00:15:31.620 people so 00:15:31.620 --> 00:15:32.320 profound 00:15:32.320 --> 00:15:33.879 that they 00:15:33.879 --> 00:15:35.060 virtually become 00:15:35.060 --> 00:15:36.000 a new 00:15:36.000 --> 00:15:37.100 single 00:15:37.100 --> 00:15:37.740 person. 00:15:38.879 --> 00:15:39.639 The two 00:15:39.639 --> 00:15:41.560 become one. 00:15:44.840 --> 00:15:45.660 The marriage 00:15:45.660 --> 00:15:46.220 covenant 00:15:46.220 --> 00:15:47.460 and we've 00:15:47.460 --> 00:15:48.200 unpacked this 00:15:48.200 --> 00:15:48.560 already. 00:15:48.559 --> 00:15:49.019 the marriage 00:15:49.019 --> 00:15:49.459 covenant 00:15:49.459 --> 00:15:50.399 brings 00:15:50.399 --> 00:15:51.099 every 00:15:51.099 --> 00:15:51.799 aspect 00:15:51.799 --> 00:15:53.419 of two 00:15:53.419 --> 00:15:54.299 persons' 00:15:54.539 --> 00:15:54.919 lives 00:15:54.919 --> 00:15:55.539 together 00:15:55.539 --> 00:15:58.099 where they 00:15:58.099 --> 00:15:58.939 essentially 00:15:58.939 --> 00:15:59.979 merge 00:15:59.979 --> 00:16:01.679 into a 00:16:01.679 --> 00:16:02.439 single 00:16:02.439 --> 00:16:03.479 legal 00:16:03.479 --> 00:16:04.619 social 00:16:04.619 --> 00:16:05.639 economic 00:16:05.639 --> 00:16:06.219 union 00:16:06.219 --> 00:16:07.179 where they 00:16:07.179 --> 00:16:07.759 lose 00:16:07.759 --> 00:16:08.879 much of 00:16:08.879 --> 00:16:09.039 their 00:16:09.039 --> 00:16:09.619 independence. 00:16:12.339 --> 00:16:13.739 In love 00:16:13.739 --> 00:16:14.799 they donate 00:16:14.799 --> 00:16:15.639 themselves 00:16:15.639 --> 00:16:16.779 wholly 00:16:16.779 --> 00:16:17.719 to the 00:16:17.719 --> 00:16:18.039 other. 00:16:20.699 --> 00:16:21.519 To call 00:16:21.519 --> 00:16:22.019 the marriage 00:16:22.019 --> 00:16:22.679 one flesh 00:16:22.679 --> 00:16:23.120 then 00:16:23.120 --> 00:16:24.399 means that 00:16:24.399 --> 00:16:25.019 sex is 00:16:25.019 --> 00:16:25.539 understood 00:16:25.539 --> 00:16:26.799 as both 00:16:26.799 --> 00:16:27.919 a sign 00:16:27.919 --> 00:16:29.799 of the 00:16:29.799 --> 00:16:30.359 covenant 00:16:30.359 --> 00:16:31.039 commitment 00:16:31.039 --> 00:16:31.459 of the 00:16:31.459 --> 00:16:31.879 personal 00:16:31.879 --> 00:16:32.379 commitment 00:16:32.379 --> 00:16:32.879 of the 00:16:32.879 --> 00:16:33.159 legal 00:16:33.159 --> 00:16:33.740 union 00:16:33.740 --> 00:16:35.299 and 00:16:35.299 --> 00:16:35.859 it's 00:16:35.859 --> 00:16:36.359 also 00:16:36.359 --> 00:16:37.379 a means 00:16:37.379 --> 00:16:37.639 to 00:16:37.639 --> 00:16:38.259 accomplish 00:16:38.259 --> 00:16:38.699 it. 00:16:40.199 --> 00:16:40.839 It's 00:16:40.839 --> 00:16:41.240 also a 00:16:41.240 --> 00:16:41.899 means to 00:16:41.899 --> 00:16:42.539 accomplish 00:16:42.539 --> 00:16:42.819 the 00:16:42.819 --> 00:16:43.359 oneness. 00:16:44.799 --> 00:16:46.779 And that's 00:16:46.779 --> 00:16:47.259 why 00:16:47.259 --> 00:16:48.199 with the 00:16:48.199 --> 00:16:48.439 biblical 00:16:48.439 --> 00:16:48.879 ethic 00:16:48.879 --> 00:16:49.139 of 00:16:49.139 --> 00:16:49.579 sex 00:16:49.579 --> 00:16:50.679 it's 00:16:50.679 --> 00:16:51.000 very 00:16:51.000 --> 00:16:51.500 clear 00:16:51.500 --> 00:16:52.000 the 00:16:52.000 --> 00:16:52.299 Bible 00:16:52.299 --> 00:16:52.699 says 00:16:52.699 --> 00:16:53.899 do not 00:16:53.899 --> 00:16:54.579 unite 00:16:54.579 --> 00:16:54.939 with 00:16:54.939 --> 00:16:55.439 someone 00:16:55.439 --> 00:16:56.179 physically 00:16:56.179 --> 00:16:58.079 unless 00:16:58.079 --> 00:16:58.719 you are 00:16:58.719 --> 00:16:59.240 also 00:16:59.240 --> 00:16:59.819 willing 00:16:59.819 --> 00:17:00.579 to 00:17:00.579 --> 00:17:01.059 unite 00:17:01.059 --> 00:17:01.339 with 00:17:01.339 --> 00:17:01.519 the 00:17:01.519 --> 00:17:01.939 person 00:17:01.939 --> 00:17:02.759 emotionally 00:17:02.759 --> 00:17:04.059 personally 00:17:04.059 --> 00:17:05.259 socially 00:17:05.259 --> 00:17:06.419 economically 00:17:06.420 --> 00:17:07.060 and 00:17:07.060 --> 00:17:07.740 legally 00:17:07.060 --> 00:17:07.740 legally 00:17:07.740 --> 00:17:11.259 don't 00:17:11.259 --> 00:17:11.580 become 00:17:11.580 --> 00:17:12.140 physically 00:17:12.140 --> 00:17:12.640 naked 00:17:12.640 --> 00:17:14.640 and 00:17:14.640 --> 00:17:15.160 vulnerable 00:17:15.160 --> 00:17:17.340 to the 00:17:17.340 --> 00:17:17.620 other 00:17:17.620 --> 00:17:18.220 person 00:17:18.220 --> 00:17:18.560 without 00:17:18.560 --> 00:17:19.140 becoming 00:17:19.140 --> 00:17:19.680 vulnerable 00:17:19.680 --> 00:17:20.140 in 00:17:20.140 --> 00:17:20.840 every 00:17:20.840 --> 00:17:21.460 way 00:17:21.460 --> 00:17:23.360 because 00:17:23.360 --> 00:17:23.920 you have 00:17:23.920 --> 00:17:24.440 given up 00:17:24.440 --> 00:17:24.980 your freedom 00:17:24.980 --> 00:17:25.460 and bound 00:17:25.460 --> 00:17:26.100 yourself to 00:17:26.100 --> 00:17:26.380 them 00:17:26.380 --> 00:17:26.900 legally 00:17:26.900 --> 00:17:28.380 personally 00:17:28.380 --> 00:17:29.340 vulnerably 00:17:29.340 --> 00:17:29.560 in 00:17:29.560 --> 00:17:30.019 marriage 00:17:30.019 --> 00:17:34.259 and the 00:17:34.259 --> 00:17:34.579 Bible 00:17:34.579 --> 00:17:35.259 says 00:17:35.259 --> 00:17:35.759 that 00:17:35.759 --> 00:17:37.619 to 00:17:37.619 --> 00:17:38.200 protect 00:17:38.200 --> 00:17:39.240 us 00:17:39.240 --> 00:17:43.099 to 00:17:43.099 --> 00:17:43.420 protect 00:17:43.420 --> 00:17:43.799 us 00:17:43.799 --> 00:17:47.379 see once 00:17:47.379 --> 00:17:47.980 you have 00:17:47.980 --> 00:17:48.759 given 00:17:48.759 --> 00:17:49.319 yourself 00:17:49.319 --> 00:17:49.720 in 00:17:49.720 --> 00:17:50.339 marriage 00:17:50.339 --> 00:17:51.740 sex 00:17:51.740 --> 00:17:52.119 is a 00:17:52.119 --> 00:17:52.599 way of 00:17:52.599 --> 00:17:53.279 maintaining 00:17:53.279 --> 00:17:54.299 and deepening 00:17:54.299 --> 00:17:55.160 that union 00:17:55.160 --> 00:17:56.440 as the 00:17:56.440 --> 00:17:57.000 years go 00:17:57.000 --> 00:17:57.480 by 00:17:57.480 --> 00:17:58.980 in 00:17:58.980 --> 00:17:59.140 the 00:17:59.140 --> 00:17:59.319 Old 00:17:59.319 --> 00:17:59.700 Testament 00:17:59.700 --> 00:18:00.059 when 00:18:00.059 --> 00:18:00.460 God 00:18:00.460 --> 00:18:01.299 formed 00:18:01.299 --> 00:18:01.860 covenant 00:18:01.860 --> 00:18:03.740 relationship 00:18:03.740 --> 00:18:04.019 with 00:18:04.019 --> 00:18:04.539 people 00:18:04.539 --> 00:18:05.680 he 00:18:05.680 --> 00:18:06.259 directed 00:18:06.259 --> 00:18:06.880 them 00:18:06.880 --> 00:18:07.660 to 00:18:07.660 --> 00:18:08.839 periodically 00:18:08.839 --> 00:18:12.200 for 00:18:12.200 --> 00:18:12.400 them 00:18:12.400 --> 00:18:12.640 to 00:18:12.640 --> 00:18:13.220 remember 00:18:13.220 --> 00:18:14.059 the 00:18:14.059 --> 00:18:14.400 covenant 00:18:14.400 --> 00:18:15.420 relationship 00:18:15.420 --> 00:18:16.920 and 00:18:16.920 --> 00:18:17.400 all of 00:18:17.400 --> 00:18:17.579 its 00:18:17.579 --> 00:18:18.019 terms 00:18:18.019 --> 00:18:18.319 of the 00:18:18.319 --> 00:18:18.599 covenant 00:18:18.599 --> 00:18:19.420 relationship 00:18:19.420 --> 00:18:20.620 by 00:18:20.620 --> 00:18:21.380 reading 00:18:21.380 --> 00:18:21.660 the 00:18:21.660 --> 00:18:22.019 covenant 00:18:22.019 --> 00:18:22.579 together 00:18:22.579 --> 00:18:23.539 and 00:18:23.539 --> 00:18:23.880 then 00:18:23.880 --> 00:18:24.700 recommitting 00:18:24.700 --> 00:18:25.279 themselves 00:18:25.279 --> 00:18:25.980 to the 00:18:25.980 --> 00:18:26.339 covenant 00:18:26.339 --> 00:18:27.099 relationship 00:18:27.099 --> 00:18:29.519 and 00:18:29.519 --> 00:18:29.980 what 00:18:29.980 --> 00:18:30.259 God 00:18:30.259 --> 00:18:30.539 says 00:18:30.539 --> 00:18:30.779 is 00:18:30.779 --> 00:18:30.980 you 00:18:30.980 --> 00:18:31.199 don't 00:18:31.199 --> 00:18:31.379 just 00:18:31.379 --> 00:18:31.579 need 00:18:31.579 --> 00:18:31.779 the 00:18:31.779 --> 00:18:32.159 covenant 00:18:32.159 --> 00:18:32.819 you 00:18:32.819 --> 00:18:33.240 need 00:18:33.240 --> 00:18:33.899 covenant 00:18:33.899 --> 00:18:34.699 ceremonies 00:18:34.699 --> 00:18:36.339 to 00:18:36.339 --> 00:18:36.879 remind 00:18:36.879 --> 00:18:37.339 yourself 00:18:37.339 --> 00:18:37.659 and to 00:18:37.659 --> 00:18:38.179 recommit 00:18:38.179 --> 00:18:38.699 yourself 00:18:38.699 --> 00:18:39.000 to 00:18:39.000 --> 00:18:39.240 that 00:18:39.240 --> 00:18:39.599 covenant 00:18:39.599 --> 00:18:40.299 and 00:18:40.299 --> 00:18:40.399 it 00:18:40.399 --> 00:18:40.579 was 00:18:40.579 --> 00:18:41.279 crucial 00:18:41.279 --> 00:18:43.139 the 00:18:43.139 --> 00:18:43.899 recommitment 00:18:43.899 --> 00:18:44.199 ceremonies 00:18:44.199 --> 00:18:44.939 were crucial 00:18:44.939 --> 00:18:45.459 if they 00:18:45.459 --> 00:18:45.779 were to 00:18:45.779 --> 00:18:46.359 sustain 00:18:46.359 --> 00:18:47.339 a life 00:18:47.339 --> 00:18:47.599 of 00:18:47.599 --> 00:18:48.279 faithfulness 00:18:48.279 --> 00:18:48.659 to the 00:18:48.659 --> 00:18:49.000 covenant 00:18:49.000 --> 00:18:50.639 and 00:18:50.639 --> 00:18:50.819 the 00:18:50.819 --> 00:18:51.419 same 00:18:51.419 --> 00:18:52.139 is with 00:18:52.139 --> 00:18:52.279 the 00:18:52.279 --> 00:18:52.579 marriage 00:18:52.579 --> 00:18:53.000 covenant 00:18:53.000 --> 00:18:54.839 when 00:18:54.839 --> 00:18:55.319 you get 00:18:55.319 --> 00:18:55.679 married 00:18:55.679 --> 00:18:56.139 you make 00:18:56.139 --> 00:18:56.339 a 00:18:56.339 --> 00:18:56.819 solemn 00:18:57.099 --> 00:18:57.339 covenant 00:18:57.339 --> 00:18:57.699 with 00:18:57.699 --> 00:18:57.919 your 00:18:57.919 --> 00:18:58.480 spouse 00:18:58.480 --> 00:19:00.279 and 00:19:00.279 --> 00:19:00.459 as 00:19:00.459 --> 00:19:00.859 time 00:19:00.859 --> 00:19:01.159 goes 00:19:01.159 --> 00:19:01.480 by 00:19:01.480 --> 00:19:01.740 with 00:19:01.740 --> 00:19:01.919 all 00:19:01.919 --> 00:19:02.099 the 00:19:02.099 --> 00:19:02.480 ups 00:19:02.480 --> 00:19:02.699 and 00:19:02.699 --> 00:19:03.159 downs 00:19:03.159 --> 00:19:03.659 and 00:19:03.659 --> 00:19:03.819 the 00:19:03.819 --> 00:19:04.319 complexities 00:19:04.319 --> 00:19:04.740 of 00:19:04.740 --> 00:19:05.179 life 00:19:05.179 --> 00:19:06.019 there 00:19:06.019 --> 00:19:06.299 is 00:19:06.299 --> 00:19:06.480 a 00:19:06.480 --> 00:19:07.139 need 00:19:07.139 --> 00:19:07.639 to 00:19:07.639 --> 00:19:08.679 rekindle 00:19:08.679 --> 00:19:09.279 the 00:19:09.279 --> 00:19:09.859 heart 00:19:09.859 --> 00:19:10.459 and 00:19:10.459 --> 00:19:10.679 to 00:19:10.679 --> 00:19:11.359 renew 00:19:11.359 --> 00:19:12.039 the 00:19:12.039 --> 00:19:12.519 covenant 00:19:12.519 --> 00:19:16.660 and 00:19:16.660 --> 00:19:17.099 sex 00:19:17.099 --> 00:19:17.740 between 00:19:17.740 --> 00:19:18.440 a 00:19:18.440 --> 00:19:18.799 husband 00:19:18.799 --> 00:19:19.139 and 00:19:19.139 --> 00:19:19.319 a 00:19:19.319 --> 00:19:19.759 wife 00:19:19.759 --> 00:19:20.619 is 00:19:20.619 --> 00:19:21.079 God's 00:19:21.079 --> 00:19:21.460 unique 00:19:21.460 --> 00:19:21.740 way 00:19:21.740 --> 00:19:21.900 to 00:19:21.900 --> 00:19:22.119 do 00:19:22.119 --> 00:19:22.460 that 00:19:22.460 --> 00:19:24.579 sex 00:19:24.579 --> 00:19:24.779 is 00:19:24.779 --> 00:19:25.139 God's 00:19:25.139 --> 00:19:25.539 appointed 00:19:25.539 --> 00:19:26.019 way 00:19:26.019 --> 00:19:26.519 for 00:19:26.519 --> 00:19:26.799 two 00:19:26.799 --> 00:19:27.480 people 00:19:27.480 --> 00:19:28.440 to 00:19:28.440 --> 00:19:30.819 reciprocally 00:19:30.819 --> 00:19:31.220 if you 00:19:31.220 --> 00:19:31.700 like 00:19:31.700 --> 00:19:34.420 say to 00:19:34.420 --> 00:19:34.660 each 00:19:34.660 --> 00:19:34.980 other 00:19:34.980 --> 00:19:35.740 I 00:19:35.740 --> 00:19:36.579 belong 00:19:36.579 --> 00:19:37.799 completely 00:19:37.799 --> 00:19:39.099 permanently 00:19:39.099 --> 00:19:40.639 exclusively 00:19:40.639 --> 00:19:41.779 to 00:19:41.779 --> 00:19:42.199 you 00:19:42.199 --> 00:19:47.339 and 00:19:47.339 --> 00:19:47.559 that's 00:19:47.559 --> 00:19:47.839 why the 00:19:47.839 --> 00:19:48.079 Bible 00:19:48.079 --> 00:19:48.539 says you 00:19:48.539 --> 00:19:48.980 must not 00:19:48.980 --> 00:19:49.279 use 00:19:49.279 --> 00:19:49.740 sex to 00:19:49.740 --> 00:19:49.939 say 00:19:49.939 --> 00:19:50.379 anything 00:19:50.379 --> 00:19:50.759 less 00:19:50.759 --> 00:19:50.959 than 00:19:50.959 --> 00:19:51.279 that 00:19:51.279 --> 00:19:52.399 because 00:19:52.399 --> 00:19:52.619 it's 00:19:52.619 --> 00:19:52.779 not 00:19:52.779 --> 00:19:53.179 designed 00:19:53.179 --> 00:19:53.579 to say 00:19:53.579 --> 00:19:54.019 anything 00:19:54.019 --> 00:19:54.339 less 00:19:54.339 --> 00:19:54.519 than 00:19:54.519 --> 00:19:54.779 that 00:19:54.779 --> 00:19:55.619 sex 00:19:55.619 --> 00:19:57.759 and 00:19:57.759 --> 00:19:58.039 that's 00:19:58.039 --> 00:19:58.399 why the 00:19:58.399 --> 00:19:58.639 Bible 00:19:58.639 --> 00:19:59.000 says 00:19:59.000 --> 00:19:59.339 that a 00:19:59.339 --> 00:19:59.700 covenant 00:19:59.700 --> 00:20:00.420 is 00:20:00.420 --> 00:20:01.259 necessary 00:20:01.259 --> 00:20:01.759 for 00:20:01.759 --> 00:20:02.339 sex 00:20:02.339 --> 00:20:03.379 it 00:20:03.379 --> 00:20:03.899 creates 00:20:03.899 --> 00:20:04.339 a 00:20:04.339 --> 00:20:04.879 place 00:20:04.879 --> 00:20:05.559 of 00:20:05.559 --> 00:20:06.279 security 00:20:06.279 --> 00:20:07.619 for 00:20:07.619 --> 00:20:07.819 the 00:20:07.819 --> 00:20:08.200 vulnerability 00:20:08.200 --> 00:20:08.899 and 00:20:08.899 --> 00:20:09.200 for 00:20:09.200 --> 00:20:09.420 the 00:20:09.420 --> 00:20:09.920 intimacy 00:20:09.920 --> 00:20:11.379 a 00:20:11.379 --> 00:20:11.720 marriage 00:20:11.720 --> 00:20:12.139 covenant 00:20:12.139 --> 00:20:12.599 is 00:20:12.599 --> 00:20:13.240 necessary 00:20:13.240 --> 00:20:13.559 for 00:20:13.559 --> 00:20:14.059 sex 00:20:14.059 --> 00:20:14.660 and 00:20:14.660 --> 00:20:15.220 sex 00:20:15.220 --> 00:20:15.779 is 00:20:15.779 --> 00:20:16.460 necessary 00:20:16.460 --> 00:20:17.279 for 00:20:17.279 --> 00:20:17.500 the 00:20:17.500 --> 00:20:17.839 maintenance 00:20:17.839 --> 00:20:18.259 of 00:20:18.259 --> 00:20:18.480 the 00:20:18.480 --> 00:20:18.839 covenant 00:20:18.839 --> 00:20:19.700 I'm 00:20:19.700 --> 00:20:19.859 not 00:20:19.859 --> 00:20:20.019 sure 00:20:20.019 --> 00:20:20.200 you've 00:20:20.200 --> 00:20:20.339 ever 00:20:20.339 --> 00:20:20.660 thought 00:20:20.660 --> 00:20:21.079 about 00:20:21.079 --> 00:20:21.539 sex 00:20:21.539 --> 00:20:22.000 before 00:20:22.000 --> 00:20:22.420 as 00:20:22.420 --> 00:20:22.859 being 00:20:22.859 --> 00:20:23.500 a 00:20:23.500 --> 00:20:23.859 covenant 00:20:23.859 --> 00:20:24.420 renewal 00:20:24.420 --> 00:20:25.060 service 00:20:25.060 --> 00:20:31.000 the 00:20:31.000 --> 00:20:31.259 Bible 00:20:31.259 --> 00:20:31.500 does 00:20:31.500 --> 00:20:31.720 not 00:20:31.720 --> 00:20:32.220 teach 00:20:32.220 --> 00:20:32.840 sex 00:20:32.840 --> 00:20:34.519 sexual 00:20:34.519 --> 00:20:35.279 abstinence 00:20:35.279 --> 00:20:35.600 before 00:20:35.600 --> 00:20:36.259 marriage 00:20:36.259 --> 00:20:37.000 because 00:20:37.000 --> 00:20:37.500 it has 00:20:37.500 --> 00:20:38.519 a low 00:20:38.519 --> 00:20:38.980 view 00:20:38.980 --> 00:20:39.519 or a 00:20:39.519 --> 00:20:40.240 degraded 00:20:40.240 --> 00:20:40.460 view 00:20:40.460 --> 00:20:40.660 of 00:20:40.660 --> 00:20:41.120 sex 00:20:41.120 --> 00:20:42.500 it 00:20:42.500 --> 00:20:42.940 teaches 00:20:42.940 --> 00:20:43.160 it 00:20:43.160 --> 00:20:43.700 because 00:20:43.700 --> 00:20:44.000 it 00:20:44.000 --> 00:20:44.660 has 00:20:44.660 --> 00:20:45.440 the 00:20:45.440 --> 00:20:46.039 highest 00:20:46.039 --> 00:20:46.300 view 00:20:46.300 --> 00:20:46.480 of 00:20:46.480 --> 00:20:46.759 sex 00:20:46.759 --> 00:20:47.400 imaginable 00:20:47.400 --> 00:20:51.960 it's 00:20:51.960 --> 00:20:52.320 because 00:20:52.320 --> 00:20:52.980 of 00:20:52.980 --> 00:20:53.340 God's 00:20:53.340 --> 00:20:53.820 design 00:20:53.820 --> 00:20:54.039 and 00:20:54.039 --> 00:20:54.340 purpose 00:20:54.339 --> 00:20:54.599 for 00:20:54.599 --> 00:20:55.019 sex 00:20:55.019 --> 00:20:55.639 that 00:20:55.639 --> 00:20:55.799 it 00:20:55.799 --> 00:20:56.139 teaches 00:20:56.139 --> 00:20:56.439 us 00:20:56.439 --> 00:20:56.599 that 00:20:56.599 --> 00:20:56.879 sex 00:20:56.879 --> 00:20:57.259 outside 00:20:57.259 --> 00:20:57.419 of 00:20:57.419 --> 00:20:57.839 marriage 00:20:57.839 --> 00:20:58.859 is 00:20:58.859 --> 00:20:59.240 not 00:20:59.240 --> 00:20:59.519 just 00:20:59.519 --> 00:21:00.059 morally 00:21:00.059 --> 00:21:00.740 wrong 00:21:00.740 --> 00:21:01.619 but 00:21:01.619 --> 00:21:01.919 it's 00:21:01.919 --> 00:21:02.359 actually 00:21:02.359 --> 00:21:03.059 personally 00:21:03.059 --> 00:21:03.720 harmful 00:21:03.720 --> 00:21:07.240 if 00:21:07.240 --> 00:21:07.519 sex 00:21:07.519 --> 00:21:07.720 is 00:21:07.720 --> 00:21:08.240 designed 00:21:08.240 --> 00:21:08.639 to be 00:21:08.639 --> 00:21:09.079 part 00:21:09.079 --> 00:21:09.480 of 00:21:09.480 --> 00:21:10.199 making 00:21:10.199 --> 00:21:10.500 a 00:21:10.500 --> 00:21:10.859 covenant 00:21:10.859 --> 00:21:11.519 and 00:21:11.519 --> 00:21:12.199 experiencing 00:21:12.199 --> 00:21:12.480 that 00:21:12.480 --> 00:21:12.799 covenant 00:21:12.799 --> 00:21:13.439 renewal 00:21:13.440 --> 00:21:43.440 00:21:43.440 --> 00:21:44.180 connected 00:21:44.180 --> 00:21:44.180 00:21:44.180 --> 00:21:44.480 to 00:21:44.180 --> 00:21:44.480 to 00:21:44.480 --> 00:21:44.799 another 00:21:44.799 --> 00:21:45.480 person 00:21:45.480 --> 00:21:46.700 even 00:21:46.700 --> 00:21:46.960 when 00:21:46.960 --> 00:21:47.180 it's 00:21:47.180 --> 00:21:47.460 used 00:21:47.460 --> 00:21:48.120 wrongly 00:21:48.120 --> 00:21:49.880 and 00:21:49.880 --> 00:21:50.080 so 00:21:50.080 --> 00:21:50.259 the 00:21:50.259 --> 00:21:50.600 damage 00:21:50.600 --> 00:21:51.320 begins 00:21:51.320 --> 00:21:53.220 as we 00:21:53.220 --> 00:21:53.480 give 00:21:53.480 --> 00:21:54.100 ourselves 00:21:54.100 --> 00:21:54.759 away 00:21:54.759 --> 00:21:57.240 even 00:21:57.240 --> 00:21:57.700 if that's 00:21:57.700 --> 00:21:57.880 not 00:21:57.880 --> 00:21:58.460 we think 00:21:58.460 --> 00:21:58.840 that's 00:21:58.840 --> 00:21:59.240 what we're 00:21:59.240 --> 00:21:59.620 doing 00:21:59.619 --> 00:22:02.199 even 00:22:02.199 --> 00:22:03.079 if you 00:22:03.079 --> 00:22:03.639 are not 00:22:03.639 --> 00:22:04.099 married 00:22:04.099 --> 00:22:05.179 you may 00:22:05.179 --> 00:22:06.019 find yourself 00:22:06.019 --> 00:22:06.979 very quickly 00:22:06.979 --> 00:22:07.579 feeling 00:22:07.579 --> 00:22:08.459 marriage like 00:22:08.459 --> 00:22:09.159 ties 00:22:09.159 --> 00:22:10.179 to the 00:22:10.179 --> 00:22:10.679 person 00:22:10.679 --> 00:22:11.599 that you 00:22:11.599 --> 00:22:12.139 have just 00:22:12.139 --> 00:22:12.459 had 00:22:12.459 --> 00:22:13.219 physical 00:22:13.219 --> 00:22:13.719 union 00:22:13.719 --> 00:22:14.159 with 00:22:14.159 --> 00:22:14.959 feeling 00:22:14.959 --> 00:22:15.359 that the 00:22:15.359 --> 00:22:15.559 other 00:22:15.559 --> 00:22:15.959 person 00:22:15.959 --> 00:22:16.179 has 00:22:16.179 --> 00:22:16.799 obligations 00:22:16.799 --> 00:22:17.500 to you 00:22:17.500 --> 00:22:17.939 in some 00:22:17.939 --> 00:22:18.299 way 00:22:18.299 --> 00:22:19.479 because 00:22:19.479 --> 00:22:19.919 you've 00:22:19.919 --> 00:22:20.139 had 00:22:20.139 --> 00:22:20.639 sex 00:22:20.640 --> 00:22:22.340 but 00:22:22.340 --> 00:22:22.500 they 00:22:22.500 --> 00:22:22.740 have 00:22:22.740 --> 00:22:22.980 no 00:22:22.980 --> 00:22:23.440 legal 00:22:23.440 --> 00:22:24.259 social 00:22:24.259 --> 00:22:24.700 or 00:22:24.700 --> 00:22:25.080 moral 00:22:25.080 --> 00:22:25.740 responsibility 00:22:25.740 --> 00:22:26.759 even 00:22:26.759 --> 00:22:26.960 to 00:22:26.960 --> 00:22:27.200 call 00:22:27.200 --> 00:22:27.360 you 00:22:27.360 --> 00:22:27.640 back 00:22:27.640 --> 00:22:27.800 the 00:22:27.800 --> 00:22:28.020 next 00:22:28.020 --> 00:22:28.440 morning 00:22:28.440 --> 00:22:30.000 or 00:22:30.000 --> 00:22:30.160 even 00:22:30.160 --> 00:22:30.259 to 00:22:30.259 --> 00:22:30.400 be 00:22:30.400 --> 00:22:30.600 there 00:22:30.600 --> 00:22:30.740 for 00:22:30.740 --> 00:22:31.259 breakfast 00:22:31.259 --> 00:22:33.400 and 00:22:33.400 --> 00:22:33.740 this 00:22:33.740 --> 00:22:34.160 leads 00:22:34.160 --> 00:22:34.380 to 00:22:34.380 --> 00:22:34.840 jealousy 00:22:34.840 --> 00:22:35.280 and 00:22:35.280 --> 00:22:35.520 hurt 00:22:35.520 --> 00:22:36.060 feelings 00:22:36.060 --> 00:22:36.280 and 00:22:36.280 --> 00:22:37.040 obsessiveness 00:22:37.040 --> 00:22:37.880 if 00:22:37.880 --> 00:22:38.140 two 00:22:38.140 --> 00:22:38.460 people 00:22:38.460 --> 00:22:38.600 are 00:22:38.600 --> 00:22:38.900 having 00:22:38.900 --> 00:22:39.280 sex 00:22:39.280 --> 00:22:39.460 but 00:22:39.460 --> 00:22:39.660 they're 00:22:39.660 --> 00:22:39.880 not 00:22:39.880 --> 00:22:40.320 married 00:22:40.320 --> 00:22:41.100 it 00:22:41.100 --> 00:22:41.460 makes 00:22:41.460 --> 00:22:41.960 breaking 00:22:41.960 --> 00:22:42.220 up 00:22:42.220 --> 00:22:42.920 vastly 00:22:42.920 --> 00:22:43.400 harder 00:22:43.400 --> 00:22:43.420 ! 00:22:43.420 --> 00:22:44.000 than 00:22:44.000 --> 00:22:44.160 it 00:22:44.160 --> 00:22:44.380 should 00:22:44.380 --> 00:22:44.740 be 00:22:44.740 --> 00:22:45.620 and 00:22:45.620 --> 00:22:45.759 it 00:22:45.759 --> 00:22:46.040 leads 00:22:46.040 --> 00:22:46.360 many 00:22:46.360 --> 00:22:46.740 people 00:22:46.740 --> 00:22:46.920 to 00:22:46.920 --> 00:22:47.160 stay 00:22:47.160 --> 00:22:47.840 trapped 00:22:47.840 --> 00:22:48.640 in 00:22:48.640 --> 00:22:49.360 relationships 00:22:49.360 --> 00:22:50.400 that 00:22:50.400 --> 00:22:50.580 are 00:22:50.580 --> 00:22:50.800 not 00:22:50.800 --> 00:22:51.400 good 00:22:51.400 --> 00:22:52.240 because 00:22:52.240 --> 00:22:52.620 of 00:22:52.620 --> 00:22:53.280 feelings 00:22:53.280 --> 00:22:54.180 that 00:22:54.180 --> 00:22:54.420 they 00:22:54.420 --> 00:22:54.600 have 00:22:54.600 --> 00:22:55.140 connected 00:22:55.140 --> 00:22:55.660 themselves 00:22:55.660 --> 00:22:56.000 to 00:22:56.000 --> 00:22:56.240 this 00:22:56.240 --> 00:22:56.720 person 00:22:56.720 --> 00:23:02.340 sex 00:23:02.340 --> 00:23:02.820 outside 00:23:02.820 --> 00:23:03.000 of 00:23:03.000 --> 00:23:03.460 marriage 00:23:03.460 --> 00:23:04.500 eventually 00:23:04.500 --> 00:23:05.160 works 00:23:05.160 --> 00:23:06.100 backwards 00:23:06.100 --> 00:23:08.759 to the 00:23:08.759 --> 00:23:09.100 point 00:23:09.100 --> 00:23:09.460 where it 00:23:09.460 --> 00:23:09.759 makes 00:23:09.759 --> 00:23:09.980 you 00:23:09.980 --> 00:23:10.360 less 00:23:10.360 --> 00:23:10.820 able 00:23:10.820 --> 00:23:11.060 to 00:23:11.060 --> 00:23:11.380 commit 00:23:11.380 --> 00:23:11.680 and 00:23:11.680 --> 00:23:12.120 trust 00:23:12.120 --> 00:23:12.560 another 00:23:12.560 --> 00:23:12.940 human 00:23:12.940 --> 00:23:13.340 being 00:23:13.339 --> 00:23:21.039 so 00:23:21.039 --> 00:23:23.259 that's 00:23:23.259 --> 00:23:23.399 the 00:23:23.399 --> 00:23:23.699 biblical 00:23:23.699 --> 00:23:24.099 sex 00:23:24.099 --> 00:23:24.480 ethic 00:23:24.480 --> 00:23:25.519 and 00:23:25.519 --> 00:23:25.659 the 00:23:25.659 --> 00:23:25.899 high 00:23:25.899 --> 00:23:26.159 view 00:23:26.159 --> 00:23:26.459 so 00:23:26.459 --> 00:23:26.720 what 00:23:26.720 --> 00:23:27.079 does 00:23:27.079 --> 00:23:27.220 that 00:23:27.220 --> 00:23:27.459 mean 00:23:27.459 --> 00:23:27.639 for 00:23:27.639 --> 00:23:27.959 sex 00:23:27.959 --> 00:23:28.259 in 00:23:28.259 --> 00:23:28.740 marriage 00:23:28.740 --> 00:23:31.299 we 00:23:31.299 --> 00:23:31.439 should 00:23:31.439 --> 00:23:31.599 not 00:23:31.599 --> 00:23:31.759 be 00:23:31.759 --> 00:23:32.379 surprised 00:23:32.379 --> 00:23:32.939 that 00:23:32.939 --> 00:23:33.720 given 00:23:33.720 --> 00:23:33.959 that 00:23:33.959 --> 00:23:34.240 view 00:23:34.240 --> 00:23:34.480 that 00:23:34.480 --> 00:23:34.859 various 00:23:34.859 --> 00:23:35.339 passages 00:23:35.339 --> 00:23:35.859 instruct 00:23:35.859 --> 00:23:36.179 marriage 00:23:36.179 --> 00:23:36.480 couples 00:23:36.480 --> 00:23:37.000 to enjoy 00:23:37.000 --> 00:23:37.419 sex 00:23:37.419 --> 00:23:38.059 and to 00:23:38.059 --> 00:23:38.199 do 00:23:38.199 --> 00:23:38.419 so 00:23:38.419 --> 00:23:38.980 frequently 00:23:38.980 --> 00:23:39.399 1 00:23:39.399 --> 00:23:39.779 Corinthians 00:23:39.779 --> 00:23:40.279 7 00:23:40.279 --> 00:23:41.480 is one 00:23:41.480 --> 00:23:41.740 of those 00:23:41.740 --> 00:23:42.160 classic 00:23:42.160 --> 00:23:42.740 passages 00:23:42.740 --> 00:23:43.839 Paul 00:23:43.839 --> 00:23:44.220 speaks 00:23:44.220 --> 00:23:45.119 with real 00:23:45.119 --> 00:23:45.660 clarity 00:23:45.660 --> 00:23:46.519 about 00:23:46.519 --> 00:23:46.879 sex 00:23:46.879 --> 00:23:47.039 in 00:23:47.039 --> 00:23:47.359 marriage 00:23:47.359 --> 00:23:47.519 the 00:23:47.519 --> 00:23:47.759 husband 00:23:47.759 --> 00:23:48.059 should 00:23:48.059 --> 00:23:48.539 fulfill 00:23:48.539 --> 00:23:49.160 his 00:23:49.160 --> 00:23:49.460 marital 00:23:49.460 --> 00:23:49.759 duty 00:23:49.759 --> 00:23:50.019 to 00:23:50.019 --> 00:23:50.200 his 00:23:50.200 --> 00:23:50.539 wife 00:23:50.539 --> 00:23:50.700 and 00:23:50.700 --> 00:23:51.039 likewise 00:23:51.039 --> 00:23:51.299 the 00:23:51.299 --> 00:23:51.480 wife 00:23:51.480 --> 00:23:51.599 to 00:23:51.599 --> 00:23:51.700 her 00:23:51.700 --> 00:23:52.039 husband 00:23:52.039 --> 00:23:52.559 the 00:23:52.559 --> 00:23:52.859 wife's 00:23:52.859 --> 00:23:53.099 body 00:23:53.099 --> 00:23:53.299 does 00:23:53.299 --> 00:23:53.480 not 00:23:53.480 --> 00:23:53.920 belong 00:23:53.920 --> 00:23:54.139 to 00:23:54.139 --> 00:23:54.299 her 00:23:54.299 --> 00:23:54.680 alone 00:23:54.680 --> 00:23:54.859 but 00:23:54.859 --> 00:23:55.079 also 00:23:55.079 --> 00:23:55.259 to 00:23:55.259 --> 00:23:55.359 her 00:23:55.359 --> 00:23:55.680 husband 00:23:55.680 --> 00:23:56.319 in 00:23:56.319 --> 00:23:56.480 the 00:23:56.480 --> 00:23:56.740 same 00:23:56.740 --> 00:23:57.099 way 00:23:57.099 --> 00:23:57.359 the 00:23:57.359 --> 00:23:57.879 husband's 00:23:57.879 --> 00:23:58.180 body 00:23:58.180 --> 00:23:58.500 does 00:23:58.500 --> 00:23:58.720 not 00:23:58.720 --> 00:23:59.139 belong 00:23:59.139 --> 00:23:59.379 to 00:23:59.379 --> 00:23:59.700 him 00:23:59.700 --> 00:24:00.160 alone 00:24:00.160 --> 00:24:00.759 but 00:24:00.759 --> 00:24:01.039 also 00:24:01.039 --> 00:24:01.359 to 00:24:01.359 --> 00:24:01.539 his 00:24:01.539 --> 00:24:01.839 wife 00:24:01.839 --> 00:24:02.019 do 00:24:02.019 --> 00:24:02.180 not 00:24:02.180 --> 00:24:02.599 deprive 00:24:02.599 --> 00:24:02.799 each 00:24:02.799 --> 00:24:02.960 other 00:24:02.960 --> 00:24:03.259 except 00:24:03.259 --> 00:24:03.500 for 00:24:03.500 --> 00:24:03.779 mutual 00:24:03.779 --> 00:24:04.240 consent 00:24:04.240 --> 00:24:04.960 and 00:24:04.960 --> 00:24:05.380 for 00:24:05.380 --> 00:24:05.660 a 00:24:05.660 --> 00:24:06.100 time 00:24:06.100 --> 00:24:07.799 now 00:24:07.799 --> 00:24:08.880 bear 00:24:08.880 --> 00:24:09.079 in 00:24:09.079 --> 00:24:09.420 mind 00:24:09.420 --> 00:24:09.840 that 00:24:09.840 --> 00:24:10.160 when 00:24:10.160 --> 00:24:10.840 those 00:24:10.840 --> 00:24:11.160 words 00:24:11.160 --> 00:24:11.340 were 00:24:11.340 --> 00:24:11.559 written 00:24:11.559 --> 00:24:11.819 by 00:24:11.819 --> 00:24:12.440 Paul 00:24:12.440 --> 00:24:13.200 this 00:24:13.200 --> 00:24:13.480 is a 00:24:13.480 --> 00:24:13.799 time 00:24:13.799 --> 00:24:14.039 when 00:24:14.039 --> 00:24:14.539 women 00:24:14.539 --> 00:24:15.240 were 00:24:15.240 --> 00:24:15.880 considered 00:24:15.880 --> 00:24:16.840 culturally 00:24:16.840 --> 00:24:17.460 the 00:24:17.460 --> 00:24:17.880 possessions 00:24:17.880 --> 00:24:17.880 00:24:17.880 --> 00:24:18.319 of 00:24:18.319 --> 00:24:18.519 their 00:24:18.519 --> 00:24:18.980 husbands 00:24:18.980 --> 00:24:20.120 and 00:24:20.120 --> 00:24:20.259 it 00:24:20.259 --> 00:24:20.480 was 00:24:20.480 --> 00:24:20.700 the 00:24:20.700 --> 00:24:21.299 woman 00:24:21.299 --> 00:24:21.700 who 00:24:21.700 --> 00:24:21.960 was 00:24:21.960 --> 00:24:22.440 bound 00:24:22.440 --> 00:24:23.460 exclusively 00:24:23.460 --> 00:24:23.840 to 00:24:23.840 --> 00:24:24.019 a 00:24:24.019 --> 00:24:24.420 husband 00:24:24.420 --> 00:24:25.100 but 00:24:25.100 --> 00:24:25.319 the 00:24:25.319 --> 00:24:25.720 husbands 00:24:25.720 --> 00:24:26.180 were 00:24:26.180 --> 00:24:26.840 encouraged 00:24:26.840 --> 00:24:27.160 to 00:24:27.160 --> 00:24:27.559 express 00:24:27.559 --> 00:24:28.160 themselves 00:24:28.160 --> 00:24:29.000 sexually 00:24:29.000 --> 00:24:29.519 culturally 00:24:29.519 --> 00:24:29.819 with 00:24:29.819 --> 00:24:30.140 whoever 00:24:30.140 --> 00:24:30.880 and 00:24:30.880 --> 00:24:31.100 in 00:24:31.100 --> 00:24:31.400 fact 00:24:31.400 --> 00:24:31.680 you 00:24:31.680 --> 00:24:32.120 often 00:24:32.120 --> 00:24:32.420 did 00:24:32.420 --> 00:24:32.680 not 00:24:32.680 --> 00:24:33.160 have 00:24:33.160 --> 00:24:33.880 sexual 00:24:33.880 --> 00:24:34.320 relations 00:24:34.320 --> 00:24:34.660 with 00:24:34.660 --> 00:24:34.840 your 00:24:34.840 --> 00:24:35.180 wife 00:24:35.180 --> 00:24:35.600 except 00:24:35.600 --> 00:24:35.840 for 00:24:35.840 --> 00:24:36.640 procreation 00:24:36.640 --> 00:24:37.580 and 00:24:37.580 --> 00:24:38.480 it 00:24:38.480 --> 00:24:38.780 was 00:24:38.780 --> 00:24:39.120 the 00:24:39.120 --> 00:24:39.900 servants 00:24:39.900 --> 00:24:40.140 the 00:24:40.140 --> 00:24:40.640 mistresses 00:24:40.640 --> 00:24:41.600 that 00:24:41.600 --> 00:24:41.940 the 00:24:41.940 --> 00:24:42.200 man 00:24:42.200 --> 00:24:42.320 of 00:24:42.320 --> 00:24:42.460 the 00:24:42.460 --> 00:24:42.760 house 00:24:42.760 --> 00:24:43.040 would 00:24:43.040 --> 00:24:43.500 more 00:24:43.500 --> 00:24:44.100 frequently 00:24:44.100 --> 00:24:44.480 have 00:24:44.480 --> 00:24:45.200 sexual 00:24:45.200 --> 00:24:45.700 relationship 00:24:45.700 --> 00:24:46.140 with 00:24:46.140 --> 00:24:46.780 and so 00:24:46.780 --> 00:24:47.120 it's 00:24:47.120 --> 00:24:47.800 profound 00:24:47.800 --> 00:24:48.360 what 00:24:48.360 --> 00:24:48.660 Paul 00:24:48.660 --> 00:24:49.040 says 00:24:49.040 --> 00:24:49.400 here 00:24:49.400 --> 00:24:50.760 profound 00:24:50.760 --> 00:24:52.440 don't 00:24:52.440 --> 00:24:52.700 miss 00:24:52.700 --> 00:24:52.960 it 00:24:52.960 --> 00:24:53.740 the 00:24:53.740 --> 00:24:54.420 husband's 00:24:54.420 --> 00:24:54.760 body 00:24:54.760 --> 00:24:55.220 does 00:24:55.220 --> 00:24:55.440 not 00:24:55.440 --> 00:24:55.900 belong 00:24:55.900 --> 00:24:56.300 to him 00:24:56.300 --> 00:24:56.720 alone 00:24:56.720 --> 00:24:56.960 but 00:24:56.960 --> 00:24:57.360 also 00:24:57.360 --> 00:24:57.740 to 00:24:57.740 --> 00:24:57.920 the 00:24:57.920 --> 00:24:58.200 wife 00:24:58.200 --> 00:25:01.300 that's 00:25:01.300 --> 00:25:01.500 the 00:25:01.500 --> 00:25:02.340 sexual 00:25:02.340 --> 00:25:02.980 biblical 00:25:02.980 --> 00:25:03.520 ethic 00:25:03.519 --> 00:25:04.180 each 00:25:04.180 --> 00:25:04.799 partner 00:25:04.799 --> 00:25:05.660 is to 00:25:05.660 --> 00:25:05.859 be 00:25:05.859 --> 00:25:06.500 primarily 00:25:06.500 --> 00:25:07.319 concerned 00:25:07.319 --> 00:25:07.779 with 00:25:07.779 --> 00:25:08.119 giving 00:25:08.119 --> 00:25:09.119 sexual 00:25:09.119 --> 00:25:09.799 pleasure 00:25:09.799 --> 00:25:11.319 not 00:25:11.319 --> 00:25:11.940 receiving 00:25:11.940 --> 00:25:12.220 it 00:25:12.220 --> 00:25:16.200 and 00:25:16.200 --> 00:25:16.639 in fact 00:25:16.639 --> 00:25:16.839 the 00:25:16.839 --> 00:25:17.200 greatest 00:25:17.200 --> 00:25:17.639 sexual 00:25:17.639 --> 00:25:18.059 pleasure 00:25:18.059 --> 00:25:18.440 should 00:25:18.440 --> 00:25:18.940 be 00:25:18.940 --> 00:25:19.400 the 00:25:19.400 --> 00:25:19.799 pleasure 00:25:19.799 --> 00:25:20.079 of 00:25:20.079 --> 00:25:20.440 seeing 00:25:20.440 --> 00:25:20.720 your 00:25:20.720 --> 00:25:21.279 spouse 00:25:21.279 --> 00:25:21.940 getting 00:25:21.940 --> 00:25:22.379 pleasure 00:25:22.379 --> 00:25:23.940 and 00:25:23.940 --> 00:25:24.200 when 00:25:24.200 --> 00:25:24.420 you 00:25:24.420 --> 00:25:24.879 get 00:25:24.879 --> 00:25:26.279 to 00:25:26.279 --> 00:25:27.359 the 00:25:27.359 --> 00:25:28.139 place 00:25:28.139 --> 00:25:29.240 in 00:25:29.240 --> 00:25:29.440 your 00:25:29.440 --> 00:25:30.099 marriage 00:25:30.099 --> 00:25:30.959 marriage 00:25:30.959 --> 00:25:31.159 where 00:25:31.159 --> 00:25:31.579 giving 00:25:31.579 --> 00:25:32.639 arousal 00:25:32.639 --> 00:25:33.399 is the 00:25:33.399 --> 00:25:33.599 most 00:25:33.599 --> 00:25:34.159 arousing 00:25:34.159 --> 00:25:34.699 thing 00:25:34.699 --> 00:25:35.980 you're 00:25:35.980 --> 00:25:36.259 actually 00:25:36.259 --> 00:25:36.799 practicing 00:25:36.799 --> 00:25:37.039 the 00:25:37.039 --> 00:25:37.459 principle 00:25:37.459 --> 00:25:37.639 of 00:25:37.639 --> 00:25:37.799 1 00:25:37.799 --> 00:25:38.079 Corinthians 00:25:38.079 --> 00:25:38.539 7 00:25:38.539 --> 00:25:42.879 now 00:25:42.880 --> 00:25:49.060 just to clarify and get a little bit more details here, I'm not talking about performance. 00:25:49.500 --> 00:25:58.220 That primarily, if you were here earlier on the series, I talked about the world's view of 00:25:58.220 --> 00:26:05.940 marriage and being primarily about attraction, physical attraction. What drives in that moment 00:26:05.940 --> 00:26:12.320 is that sexual relationships ultimately come about performance. You know, have the sex act 00:26:12.319 --> 00:26:18.419 and you're thinking, did I do okay? Do you feel great? And if you go, oh no, actually, 00:26:19.339 --> 00:26:26.579 the previous guy was better, you feel deflated and your identity's wrapped up in it. 00:26:27.079 --> 00:26:32.819 It's all about performance. And so when I'm talking about arousal here and giving of self 00:26:32.819 --> 00:26:37.759 and pleasure, I'm not talking, you know, is every time an orgasm. I'm not talking about 00:26:37.759 --> 00:26:45.920 that at all. I mean, for you and married, for those who are married, just start trying 00:26:45.920 --> 00:26:54.700 to simply love the other insects. Just love each other. That's it. Stop worrying about 00:26:54.700 --> 00:27:04.000 what you are getting and start working on what you can do to just give. Give. 00:27:04.000 --> 00:27:14.140 Now, this also, I think, 1 Corinthians addresses the typical problem that many couples experience 00:27:14.140 --> 00:27:19.599 in marriage at various points in relationship where one person wants more sex than the other 00:27:19.599 --> 00:27:27.900 one does. And if your main purpose in sex is giving pleasure, not getting pleasure, then 00:27:27.900 --> 00:27:37.120 a person who doesn't have as much of a sex drive physically can, in fact, give the other person 00:27:37.120 --> 00:27:43.660 pleasure as a gift. It's a gift. That's what Paul's instructing here in 1 Corinthians 7. 00:27:45.700 --> 00:27:54.860 And according to this, in 1 Corinthians 7, it is a legitimate act of love, according to Paul. 00:27:57.900 --> 00:28:07.019 It's a gift to give. It's a gift to give. It's not a requirement you can demand. It's a gift to give. 00:28:09.780 --> 00:28:18.740 Don't buy into the lie that says unless you're going to be all passionate, then you can't do it. 00:28:18.740 --> 00:28:22.700 Do it as a gift to each other. 00:28:27.180 --> 00:28:32.880 Now, related to this are the differences that many spouses experience over what is the most satisfying 00:28:32.880 --> 00:28:38.859 context for sex. Now, of course, this is not universal, but it might be. 00:28:38.859 --> 00:28:53.059 But for males, context means very little. Really, all you really need is pretty much time, 00:28:53.519 --> 00:28:59.079 any time, any place, anywhere, you know, like, to just, that's the male context for sex. 00:28:59.079 --> 00:29:10.579 The blind side to this means that us blokes can be oblivious to something that is more important 00:29:10.579 --> 00:29:19.259 to our wives. And that means the need for preparing for sex emotionally. 00:29:19.259 --> 00:29:27.079 I don't mean by that flowers and candles, although it might mean that. 00:29:30.379 --> 00:29:37.000 But preparing for sex emotionally, conversation, connection. 00:29:38.460 --> 00:29:43.140 We must, either way, what we need to understand with our differences, 00:29:43.759 --> 00:29:46.379 we need to be very patient with each other. 00:29:46.380 --> 00:29:50.800 However, the Bible gives such a very high view of sex. 00:29:51.500 --> 00:29:56.400 It is a sign and a seal of our oneness with each other and with God. 00:29:57.700 --> 00:30:07.820 And that is why sexual intimacy will often be the very first sign of problems in a marriage relationship. 00:30:07.819 --> 00:30:37.659 Sex is such a great and a sensitive thing that you're not able to just sweep your problems, 00:30:37.660 --> 00:30:38.779 under the bedsheets. 00:30:40.700 --> 00:30:42.100 It will be there. 00:30:43.940 --> 00:30:47.759 Unless your marriage relationship is in good condition, 00:30:49.900 --> 00:30:51.019 sex doesn't work. 00:30:53.700 --> 00:31:00.019 A lack of sexual intimacy may be a sign of a deeper problem in the relationship. 00:31:00.019 --> 00:31:05.039 It is often the case that if those problems are addressed, 00:31:07.039 --> 00:31:12.440 then what happens is that sexual intimacy starts to improve. 00:31:12.440 --> 00:31:23.920 That is, if you go to a counsellor wanting help with your sexual relationship, 00:31:24.640 --> 00:31:29.660 they don't draw pictures, they don't help you with techniques, 00:31:30.840 --> 00:31:33.799 they help you connect and understand. 00:31:33.799 --> 00:31:41.940 A fundamental rule of marriage is that over time you'll be married to many spouses, 00:31:42.879 --> 00:31:46.079 even if it's the same person you're being married to the whole time, 00:31:46.720 --> 00:31:48.460 because of the change and the shift. 00:31:48.759 --> 00:31:52.039 There's time, children, illness, age. 00:31:52.059 --> 00:31:54.000 It brings its changes and its challenges. 00:31:54.000 --> 00:31:59.920 And if we don't confront and adapt to those changes and those challenges, 00:32:00.460 --> 00:32:03.720 they will ultimately erode our sex life. 00:32:05.599 --> 00:32:10.180 Without joyful, loving sex, the friction in a relationship, 00:32:10.339 --> 00:32:15.140 a marriage relationship, will often bring anger, resent, 00:32:16.480 --> 00:32:18.200 hardness and disappointment, 00:32:18.200 --> 00:32:25.620 rather than sex being a commitment glue that holds you together, 00:32:26.160 --> 00:32:29.400 it can become actually a force to divide you. 00:32:31.180 --> 00:32:37.200 And so my encouragement for you is to never give up on your sex life. 00:32:38.299 --> 00:32:39.559 If you're married, that is. 00:32:41.299 --> 00:32:44.299 Caveat there in case I haven't been clear previously. 00:32:46.059 --> 00:32:47.920 Which brings me to the final point. 00:32:48.200 --> 00:32:50.920 And the purpose of it and the glory of it. 00:32:51.920 --> 00:32:55.640 Sex make wonderful bedfellows, but they make terrible gods. 00:32:56.620 --> 00:32:58.400 Sex is not God. 00:33:00.360 --> 00:33:01.900 Marriage is not God. 00:33:02.039 --> 00:33:02.840 God is God. 00:33:03.580 --> 00:33:09.759 And sex in the covenant of marriage is part of God's great plan. 00:33:10.480 --> 00:33:14.080 It is a plan, part of his plan to sanctify us 00:33:14.079 --> 00:33:21.039 and to point us to the rapturous delight of the ultimate marriage in the future. 00:33:22.500 --> 00:33:25.779 Of the ultimate union between Christ and his church. 00:33:25.779 --> 00:33:32.980 A moment ago, I mentioned Song of Songs 5. 00:33:32.980 --> 00:33:39.639 It's candid description of the erotic love in marriage 00:33:39.639 --> 00:33:50.639 and particularly the description of the woman and her arousal at the man. 00:33:50.640 --> 00:33:55.120 And what is remarkable about that, 00:33:55.320 --> 00:33:58.160 scholars will tell you that it is, 00:33:58.800 --> 00:34:05.140 that those words in Song of Songs 5 are highly unusual. 00:34:06.400 --> 00:34:07.540 Highly unusual. 00:34:08.360 --> 00:34:10.420 In ancient texts. 00:34:10.420 --> 00:34:21.240 Because Song of Songs is primarily the woman speaking to the man. 00:34:22.400 --> 00:34:24.880 That's highly unusual in ancient texts. 00:34:24.880 --> 00:34:29.980 It's usually the man speaking about the woman's features. 00:34:31.800 --> 00:34:35.039 And in Song of Songs, it's her voice which is dominant. 00:34:35.460 --> 00:34:36.599 She's the one who seeks. 00:34:36.820 --> 00:34:37.900 She's the one who pursues. 00:34:38.240 --> 00:34:39.800 She's the one who initiates. 00:34:40.920 --> 00:34:41.840 Highly unusual. 00:34:41.840 --> 00:34:53.920 And there are only a couple of ancient texts still in existence today. 00:34:55.380 --> 00:34:56.620 Only a couple. 00:34:56.740 --> 00:35:06.480 Out of all that would be expressing the physical features of another human being, 00:35:06.480 --> 00:35:12.740 there's only a couple in the world in existence in all ancient texts 00:35:12.740 --> 00:35:15.099 where it's the woman describing the man's body. 00:35:17.139 --> 00:35:22.179 And Song of Songs 5, 10 to 16 is the clearest of them. 00:35:22.179 --> 00:35:35.659 And this is therefore the only description in the Bible 00:35:35.659 --> 00:35:42.239 where a woman describes the man's body in detail. 00:35:43.839 --> 00:35:46.739 The physical features of the man. 00:35:47.379 --> 00:35:48.219 Only other one. 00:35:49.839 --> 00:35:51.059 Except for one. 00:35:52.179 --> 00:35:54.139 In the book of Revelation. 00:35:55.480 --> 00:36:00.399 Revelation 1, Revelation 19 where we read the symbolic bodily descriptions 00:36:00.399 --> 00:36:06.460 of the resurrected, ascended, glorified and reigning Jesus. 00:36:08.319 --> 00:36:14.039 That is the woman's erotic, candid, joyful, rapturous description 00:36:14.039 --> 00:36:21.139 of her lover in Song of Songs 5. 00:36:21.139 --> 00:36:22.359 Her arousal. 00:36:22.359 --> 00:36:26.440 Her passion to be united with him. 00:36:26.440 --> 00:36:30.359 Is meant to point us to Jesus. 00:36:34.359 --> 00:36:36.920 It's meant to point us to the gospel. 00:36:36.920 --> 00:36:40.460 It's meant to point us to the cross. 00:36:41.220 --> 00:36:47.119 And that's why for centuries biblical scholars have said that Song of Songs is ultimately about 00:36:47.119 --> 00:36:51.720 the love and the union between Jesus Christ and his church. 00:36:51.719 --> 00:37:04.339 And so as we read Song of Songs 5, I mean, there might be some wives here who, well, that's my husband. 00:37:04.340 --> 00:37:08.360 Not when I look around the room necessarily or myself in the mirror. 00:37:08.559 --> 00:37:20.260 But we're meant to see Jesus as the one who is altogether lovely, our beloved, our friend. 00:37:20.260 --> 00:37:23.080 Song of Songs 5.16. 00:37:23.480 --> 00:37:38.260 Jesus is lovely in his person, in his glory, in his majesty, in his resurrection, in his ascension, in his grace, in his power, in his wisdom, in his pardon, and in his selfless incarnation and death. 00:37:38.260 --> 00:37:44.120 Jesus is the epitome of self-denial and self-giving. 00:37:45.260 --> 00:38:04.280 And John 17 tells us that from all of eternity, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit have been adoring and glorifying each other, living in high devotion to each other, pouring love and joy and pleasure into each other's hearts continually. 00:38:04.280 --> 00:38:29.920 And God made man and woman and brought them together to be one flesh, to represent that, to reflect, and in sex, to reflect the joyous, the self-giving, and the pleasure and the love of God that exists in the very life of the Trinity for all of eternity. 00:38:29.920 --> 00:38:52.360 Sex is glorious, not only because it reflects the joy and pleasure in the Trinity, but also because it points us to eternal delight, joy, pleasure of love that we will have in heaven in all our relationships with God and each other. 00:38:52.360 --> 00:38:58.360 This is not in your notes. 00:38:58.360 --> 00:38:58.900 This is not in your notes. 00:39:02.200 --> 00:39:14.280 But husband and wife, next time you have sex and you go, well, that was good, you say, my union with Christ is going to be even more spectacular. 00:39:14.280 --> 00:39:21.560 More pleasurable, more fulfilling, more joyous. 00:39:22.420 --> 00:39:29.580 And unlike this moment, which I will forget in a couple of minutes, let's say half an hour, 00:39:32.120 --> 00:39:36.820 the presence of Christ will be eternal. 00:39:38.620 --> 00:39:40.080 It will never end. 00:39:40.079 --> 00:39:47.340 Every physical orgasm points to the ultimate spiritual orgasm that will never end. 00:39:51.219 --> 00:39:59.039 According to Ephesians 5, Christian marriage should look like crucifixion, where selfless love and selfless submission collide. 00:39:59.039 --> 00:40:08.759 It's where both husband and wife can say, God has given me a lover who preaches to me every day the gospel, 00:40:09.279 --> 00:40:20.039 a spouse who sings to me the story of our salvation, of God having reconciled selflessness through his selfless son for my pleasure and joy. 00:40:20.039 --> 00:40:33.199 And the best Christian marriages are pointers to that deep, infinite, fulfilling and final union we will have with Christ in love. 00:40:33.199 --> 00:41:03.179 Let's pray. 00:41:03.179 --> 00:41:09.079 We praise you, God of love, creator of the universe. 00:41:09.759 --> 00:41:19.659 We praise you, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, one person, one God in three persons, for making us to reflect you as male and female. 00:41:20.319 --> 00:41:27.859 We thank you for giving us the gift of marriage to display the union we have with you through the saving work of Jesus. 00:41:27.860 --> 00:41:32.559 We pray for those whom you have joined in marriage. 00:41:33.559 --> 00:41:37.039 That they may know your presence in all the joys and the sorrows. 00:41:37.039 --> 00:41:39.039 Amen. 00:41:39.039 --> 00:41:45.659 Deepen their love for each other and sustain them in their covenant commitment until they are parted by death 00:41:45.659 --> 00:41:53.759 and come into all the rapturous joys and pleasures of your eternal embrace at the great feast of the Lamb. 00:41:54.960 --> 00:41:56.259 Speed the day, we pray. 00:41:56.940 --> 00:41:57.960 In Jesus' name. 00:41:58.119 --> 00:41:58.820 Amen. 00:41:58.820 --> 00:41:58.820 00:41:58.820 --> 00:41:58.940 Amen. 00:41:58.940 --> 00:41:59.039 Amen. 00:41:59.039 --> 00:41:59.039 00:41:59.039 --> 00:41:59.039 00:41:59.039 --> 00:41:59.039 00:41:59.039 --> 00:41:59.039 00:41:59.039 --> 00:41:59.039 00:41:59.039 --> 00:41:59.039 00:41:59.039 --> 00:41:59.039 00:41:59.039 --> 00:41:59.039 00:41:59.039 --> 00:41:59.039 00:41:59.039 --> 00:41:59.039 00:41:59.039 --> 00:41:59.039 00:41:59.039 --> 00:41:59.039 00:41:59.039 --> 00:41:59.039 00:41:59.039 --> 00:41:59.039 00:41:59.039 --> 00:41:59.039 00:41:59.039 --> 00:41:59.039 00:41:59.039 --> 00:41:59.039 00:41:59.039 --> 00:41:59.039 00:41:59.039 --> 00:41:59.039 00:41:59.039 --> 00:41:59.039 00:41:59.039 --> 00:41:59.039 00:41:59.039 --> 00:41:59.039 00:41:59.039 --> 00:41:59.039 00:41:59.039 --> 00:41:59.039 00:41:59.039 --> 00:41:59.039 00:41:59.039 --> 00:41:59.039 00:41:59.039 --> 00:41:59.039 00:41:59.039 --> 00:41:59.039 00:41:59.039 --> 00:41:59.039 00:41:59.039 --> 00:41:59.039 00:41:59.039 --> 00:41:59.039 00:41:59.039 --> 00:41:59.039 00:41:59.039 --> 00:41:59.039 00:41:59.039 --> 00:41:59.039 00:41:59.039 --> 00:41:59.039 00:41:59.039 --> 00:41:59.039 00:41:59.039 --> 00:42:20.619 .