WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:03.720 We took a little break from Ephesians in order to focus on Easter. 00:00:04.280 --> 00:00:07.860 And where we left off in Ephesians was Ephesians chapter 6. 00:00:07.940 --> 00:00:09.339 And we're talking about the family. 00:00:10.259 --> 00:00:15.300 And we're talking about the family is God's greenhouse for growing godliness. 00:00:15.679 --> 00:00:18.920 And the last sermon I preached, it was directed at children. 00:00:19.160 --> 00:00:22.480 Children, obey your parents in the Lord for this is right. 00:00:23.480 --> 00:00:27.660 Jesus wants you children to obey your parents. 00:00:27.660 --> 00:00:33.240 And this morning, we're going to be looking at Ephesians 6.4 00:00:33.240 --> 00:00:36.799 in which God specifically addresses dads. 00:00:38.719 --> 00:00:44.519 He's calling us dads to raise our children in a way that honors Jesus. 00:00:45.840 --> 00:00:49.179 Jesus is calling us to raise our children to fear Jesus. 00:00:51.600 --> 00:00:55.039 So let me read Ephesians chapter 6 verse 4. 00:00:55.039 --> 00:00:57.420 We read this. 00:00:58.659 --> 00:01:07.859 Fathers, dads, do not provoke your children to anger. 00:01:08.859 --> 00:01:10.479 But bring them up. 00:01:10.719 --> 00:01:11.719 Nurture them. 00:01:12.140 --> 00:01:18.400 Raise them in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. 00:01:18.400 --> 00:01:25.219 Brothers, dads, here's what God is calling us to do this morning. 00:01:26.219 --> 00:01:36.280 God is calling us to give our lives to raising our children to fear and live for Jesus. 00:01:36.420 --> 00:01:38.180 That's what He's calling us to do today. 00:01:38.860 --> 00:01:42.719 That's what He wants us to have in our heads when we leave today, brothers. 00:01:42.719 --> 00:01:52.579 He's entrusted us with a responsibility to raise our children in a way that pleases God. 00:01:53.780 --> 00:01:56.620 And so this morning, I want you to see three things. 00:01:56.620 --> 00:01:57.620 The first is this. 00:01:57.620 --> 00:01:57.640 The first is this. 00:01:58.540 --> 00:02:00.340 Fathers, you've been given a responsibility. 00:02:00.939 --> 00:02:06.000 The second thing is, dads, don't misuse your authority. 00:02:06.520 --> 00:02:09.719 And third, fathers, be faithful. 00:02:09.719 --> 00:02:14.199 So let's look at that first point. 00:02:15.379 --> 00:02:17.500 Fathers, you've been given a responsibility. 00:02:17.919 --> 00:02:18.900 I mean, it's right there. 00:02:18.979 --> 00:02:19.780 That first word. 00:02:20.000 --> 00:02:20.939 Ephesians 6 verse 4. 00:02:21.539 --> 00:02:22.099 Fathers. 00:02:22.099 --> 00:02:22.500 Dads. 00:02:23.699 --> 00:02:24.219 Dads. 00:02:25.919 --> 00:02:27.780 I just want to remind you of who he's talking to. 00:02:28.240 --> 00:02:29.379 Who are these dads? 00:02:30.419 --> 00:02:36.859 Remember that Paul wrote a letter to a church in this town called Ephesus in the first century. 00:02:37.780 --> 00:02:40.979 And he was apostle writing to Christians. 00:02:41.780 --> 00:02:47.079 And so he singles out dads here in Ephesians 6 verse 4. 00:02:47.080 --> 00:02:52.500 And so first and foremost, what you need to understand are these dads, these fathers are Christian men. 00:02:53.320 --> 00:02:55.900 These are men who've been radically changed. 00:02:56.720 --> 00:02:59.540 They were men who used to be dead in their sin. 00:02:59.939 --> 00:03:00.939 Living in darkness. 00:03:01.200 --> 00:03:03.100 Following after the prince of the power of the air. 00:03:03.640 --> 00:03:04.920 Also known as the devil. 00:03:06.020 --> 00:03:08.100 And then Jesus broke into their lives. 00:03:08.400 --> 00:03:09.220 Our lives. 00:03:09.880 --> 00:03:11.280 He radically changed us. 00:03:11.280 --> 00:03:16.000 We went from being dead in our sin to being alive in Christ. 00:03:17.080 --> 00:03:21.900 We went from being in darkness to now being light of the Lord. 00:03:23.500 --> 00:03:28.780 We went from following the prince of the power of the air to now we are called to follow Jesus. 00:03:28.980 --> 00:03:32.000 To walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which he has called us. 00:03:32.560 --> 00:03:34.560 We're to walk in his way now. 00:03:35.480 --> 00:03:36.880 We've got a new walk to walk. 00:03:36.880 --> 00:03:42.420 You see, when Christ changed us, he changed the way we do things. 00:03:42.419 --> 00:03:49.259 And so as Christian men who are fathers, Jesus changes the way that we parent. 00:03:50.199 --> 00:03:52.060 The way that we care for our children. 00:03:53.799 --> 00:03:54.779 And you know what? 00:03:55.919 --> 00:04:00.919 He's also provided his spirit to dwell in us. 00:04:01.379 --> 00:04:03.079 And to fill us. 00:04:03.560 --> 00:04:05.259 And to empower us. 00:04:05.479 --> 00:04:08.099 For this responsibility he's given us. 00:04:08.099 --> 00:04:12.060 So let me just remind you a little bit about what authority is. 00:04:12.699 --> 00:04:18.139 I talked about a couple sermons ago about when I was addressing this passage about wives. 00:04:18.240 --> 00:04:21.339 Wives submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. 00:04:21.699 --> 00:04:26.959 I tried to make a point that authority, at the heart of authority, is actually responsibility. 00:04:28.600 --> 00:04:33.439 That a husband is given the responsibility for the welfare of his wife. 00:04:33.439 --> 00:04:38.660 And so at the heart of authority is responsibility. 00:04:39.339 --> 00:04:42.160 And we see that being played out here in Ephesians 6.4. 00:04:43.480 --> 00:04:47.420 God has given fathers a responsibility. 00:04:48.699 --> 00:04:54.779 He's given them a responsibility for the welfare of each of his children. 00:04:56.040 --> 00:04:58.800 Fathers, do not provoke your children. 00:04:58.800 --> 00:05:03.900 God has given us each of our children. 00:05:05.240 --> 00:05:13.379 And he is calling us to be responsible for their physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being. 00:05:14.000 --> 00:05:18.759 We have responsibility for the overall welfare of his children. 00:05:19.240 --> 00:05:24.699 And therefore, out of that responsibility, we can actually require things of our children. 00:05:25.620 --> 00:05:27.080 That's where the right comes in. 00:05:27.079 --> 00:05:28.859 That's where the authority comes in. 00:05:29.259 --> 00:05:32.719 And this authority has been given to us by God himself. 00:05:33.579 --> 00:05:35.180 It's been entrusted to us. 00:05:37.139 --> 00:05:40.860 This whole section, starting with wives and husbands, now to children and parents, 00:05:41.000 --> 00:05:43.120 and soon we'll see slaves and masters, 00:05:43.319 --> 00:05:47.740 it all has to deal with how Jesus makes a difference in these relationships. 00:05:47.740 --> 00:05:53.860 How we are to live out our submissive roles and our authoritarian roles, 00:05:54.019 --> 00:05:57.840 both in marriage and in parenting and in the workplace. 00:05:59.160 --> 00:06:02.639 And so we're right in the middle of looking at this, 00:06:03.079 --> 00:06:06.040 how these relationships work out in terms of the home. 00:06:06.879 --> 00:06:09.360 Children are to submit themselves to their parents, 00:06:09.560 --> 00:06:11.900 to obey them for Jesus. 00:06:11.899 --> 00:06:18.959 And dads in particular, you're to exercise your responsibility, your authority for Jesus. 00:06:21.439 --> 00:06:25.719 Now, if you were a mom in the room, you might be wondering this. 00:06:26.259 --> 00:06:28.179 All right, you know, what about me? 00:06:28.620 --> 00:06:28.759 You know? 00:06:29.759 --> 00:06:31.939 Do I have any responsibility here? 00:06:32.000 --> 00:06:32.799 Do I have any authority? 00:06:32.800 --> 00:06:35.500 Look at Ephesians 6.1. 00:06:35.620 --> 00:06:38.900 Children, obey your parents in the Lord. 00:06:39.300 --> 00:06:39.740 Verse 2. 00:06:39.860 --> 00:06:45.340 Honor your father and your mother, for this is right. 00:06:46.800 --> 00:06:50.420 Paul is not saying moms have no parental authority, 00:06:50.580 --> 00:06:53.460 or somehow moms have some kind of token authority. 00:06:53.620 --> 00:06:55.379 That's not being said at all. 00:06:55.460 --> 00:06:59.120 In fact, just by referencing Exodus 20.16, 00:06:59.120 --> 00:07:04.139 he's saying moms have the right to require their children to do things as well. 00:07:04.240 --> 00:07:06.019 So why is Paul singling out dads? 00:07:09.000 --> 00:07:10.860 Because dads are the heads of their homes. 00:07:12.840 --> 00:07:14.660 According to God's design of the family, 00:07:14.780 --> 00:07:17.899 a father is given the final authority over his children. 00:07:18.040 --> 00:07:19.759 In other words, the buck stops with dad. 00:07:22.759 --> 00:07:27.000 And what he's also saying is that we as fathers must be particularly careful 00:07:27.000 --> 00:07:30.040 in how we exercise our authority 00:07:30.040 --> 00:07:33.240 because it can have devastating effects on our children. 00:07:36.879 --> 00:07:40.699 The difference between a mom's authority and a dad's authority 00:07:40.699 --> 00:07:44.899 is one of degree that has to deal with accountability. 00:07:46.480 --> 00:07:53.279 Dads, God has entrusted to you the overall welfare for your children. 00:07:53.639 --> 00:07:55.060 It doesn't exclude your wife. 00:07:55.060 --> 00:07:58.939 But brothers, you're going to want to bring your wife on that dance called marriage 00:07:58.939 --> 00:08:00.899 right down into parenting. 00:08:01.199 --> 00:08:02.699 You're going to want to lead her through that. 00:08:02.759 --> 00:08:04.280 You're going to want to be on the same page. 00:08:06.280 --> 00:08:09.939 But because God has entrusted the overall responsibility 00:08:09.939 --> 00:08:13.120 of a family's welfare to you, dad, 00:08:14.500 --> 00:08:19.360 you will be held to a greater degree of accountability than your wife. 00:08:19.360 --> 00:08:22.740 And maybe the moms in the room are saying, 00:08:23.240 --> 00:08:24.319 Hallelujah, amen. 00:08:25.400 --> 00:08:26.879 And the dads in the room are saying, 00:08:27.120 --> 00:08:27.660 Gulp. 00:08:31.259 --> 00:08:34.419 Now, I just want to say a brief word to single moms. 00:08:34.419 --> 00:08:40.639 Because I know that a sermon like this can make you very aware of your situation. 00:08:42.259 --> 00:08:44.179 And I just want to say from the outgo, 00:08:44.899 --> 00:08:46.319 we love you. 00:08:46.320 --> 00:08:51.300 And we love that you are here with us. 00:08:54.160 --> 00:08:57.220 We are protective of you. 00:08:59.180 --> 00:09:03.520 We are not interested in shaming you or shunning you. 00:09:03.520 --> 00:09:08.960 In fact, we think that a two-parent family is hard enough. 00:09:09.800 --> 00:09:11.660 Being a single parent would be very difficult. 00:09:12.360 --> 00:09:13.660 So we want to help you. 00:09:13.659 --> 00:09:17.699 We want you to know you're welcome here. 00:09:19.319 --> 00:09:21.120 But I also need to let you know this. 00:09:22.299 --> 00:09:24.579 If your children's father is not on the scene, 00:09:25.480 --> 00:09:26.939 the buck stops with you. 00:09:29.919 --> 00:09:33.519 Someone must take on the overall responsibility 00:09:33.519 --> 00:09:35.419 of your children's welfare. 00:09:36.339 --> 00:09:37.839 And that's going to be you. 00:09:40.339 --> 00:09:42.319 And God has grace for you. 00:09:43.659 --> 00:09:47.100 It might not be his intended design, 00:09:47.279 --> 00:09:49.639 but it is real responsibility. 00:09:50.620 --> 00:09:52.299 And not only does God want to help you, 00:09:52.699 --> 00:09:55.539 we as your church want to help you. 00:09:56.980 --> 00:10:00.480 You know, don't think that when you are a single mom, 00:10:00.539 --> 00:10:01.519 if you're praying to God, 00:10:01.600 --> 00:10:04.279 He's like eyes closed, fingers in his ears, 00:10:04.360 --> 00:10:08.079 I'm not listening to you because you're not according to my design. 00:10:08.080 --> 00:10:10.600 It's not it at all. 00:10:12.400 --> 00:10:14.480 God in heaven is your husband in heaven. 00:10:16.240 --> 00:10:18.660 He's your children's father in heaven. 00:10:21.600 --> 00:10:23.000 He is grace for you. 00:10:23.280 --> 00:10:24.440 All things are possible. 00:10:25.540 --> 00:10:27.940 I just want to remind you of one biblical example, 00:10:28.139 --> 00:10:28.800 and that's Timothy. 00:10:28.799 --> 00:10:31.839 In 2 Timothy chapter 1, 00:10:32.039 --> 00:10:33.659 Paul tells this young pastor, 00:10:33.819 --> 00:10:36.479 hey, remember the sincere faith that was in your grandmother Lois, 00:10:36.759 --> 00:10:38.199 and then in your mother Eunice, 00:10:38.439 --> 00:10:39.719 it's now in you. 00:10:39.859 --> 00:10:41.120 You know what the idea behind that is? 00:10:42.559 --> 00:10:45.799 Timothy's mother Eunice built into him. 00:10:46.939 --> 00:10:49.299 She shared with him the sacred writings 00:10:49.299 --> 00:10:51.039 that made him wise for salvation. 00:10:52.079 --> 00:10:52.799 Single moms, 00:10:52.799 --> 00:10:56.759 God will use you in your children's lives. 00:11:01.479 --> 00:11:02.359 God is able. 00:11:03.639 --> 00:11:04.559 He has grace for you. 00:11:06.639 --> 00:11:07.159 Brothers, 00:11:07.959 --> 00:11:11.539 God has given you a responsibility. 00:11:12.719 --> 00:11:13.199 Dads, 00:11:14.139 --> 00:11:17.740 God has given you this backpack called fatherhood, 00:11:17.899 --> 00:11:20.039 and it is designed to fit you. 00:11:22.799 --> 00:11:23.799 Don't resist it. 00:11:23.799 --> 00:11:24.039 Welcome it. 00:11:25.839 --> 00:11:27.179 Don't resist it. 00:11:28.099 --> 00:11:29.079 Welcome it. 00:11:29.899 --> 00:11:31.939 Which brings us to our second point. 00:11:33.299 --> 00:11:34.559 And don't misuse it. 00:11:35.899 --> 00:11:38.139 Don't misuse your authority. 00:11:39.519 --> 00:11:42.059 There's two mistakes that dads can make. 00:11:42.219 --> 00:11:44.559 We see the result in 6-4. 00:11:44.699 --> 00:11:47.539 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger. 00:11:48.079 --> 00:11:49.219 Do not provoke. 00:11:49.719 --> 00:11:52.120 There's two mistakes that a dad can make. 00:11:52.120 --> 00:11:53.620 Mistake number one. 00:11:54.259 --> 00:11:55.759 Captain Von Trapp dad. 00:11:57.159 --> 00:11:58.679 Do you know who Captain Von Trapp is? 00:11:59.759 --> 00:12:00.720 Sound of music. 00:12:01.740 --> 00:12:02.620 Before Edelweiss. 00:12:02.759 --> 00:12:03.860 Before Edelweiss. 00:12:05.120 --> 00:12:05.659 Do you remember? 00:12:06.659 --> 00:12:07.200 Whistle. 00:12:07.679 --> 00:12:08.320 Militant. 00:12:09.720 --> 00:12:11.320 He liked things disciplined. 00:12:15.220 --> 00:12:15.940 Ungracious. 00:12:16.560 --> 00:12:17.220 Insensitive. 00:12:17.740 --> 00:12:18.820 Very controlling. 00:12:18.820 --> 00:12:23.240 He's an example of an overbearing father. 00:12:24.460 --> 00:12:25.940 That's mistake number one. 00:12:26.960 --> 00:12:27.920 Captain Von Trapp dad. 00:12:29.160 --> 00:12:30.360 Before Edelweiss. 00:12:34.360 --> 00:12:39.840 That mistake ends up emphasizing control over care. 00:12:39.840 --> 00:12:41.840 Control over care. 00:12:41.840 --> 00:12:43.600 Control over care. 00:12:45.200 --> 00:12:47.600 Control over care for your children. 00:12:48.759 --> 00:12:51.519 God wants you to love your children first. 00:12:51.519 --> 00:12:55.919 For a Captain Von Trapp dad. 00:12:55.980 --> 00:12:58.639 His wife will often feel in between. 00:12:59.879 --> 00:13:02.759 In between her husband and her children. 00:13:03.059 --> 00:13:05.559 It's a very awkward position for her to be in. 00:13:05.759 --> 00:13:06.840 That's mistake number one. 00:13:07.840 --> 00:13:10.639 Mistake number two is the other side. 00:13:10.799 --> 00:13:13.319 If abuse number one is overbearing, 00:13:13.460 --> 00:13:18.199 the second misuse is what I call ghost dad. 00:13:18.200 --> 00:13:23.759 Ghost dad is there but not there. 00:13:23.900 --> 00:13:28.120 And the misuse is actually an abdication of authority. 00:13:28.300 --> 00:13:30.000 A vacating of authority. 00:13:30.620 --> 00:13:32.340 He's there but he's not there. 00:13:34.500 --> 00:13:35.560 Where's your dad? 00:13:36.560 --> 00:13:39.320 Uh, somewhere in the house. 00:13:39.320 --> 00:13:42.120 There's someone behind the paper. 00:13:44.720 --> 00:13:46.920 There's someone watching TV. 00:13:47.200 --> 00:13:51.440 There's someone working on the engine of the car in the garage. 00:13:52.520 --> 00:13:54.040 There but not there. 00:13:56.840 --> 00:13:58.160 Constantly on the phone. 00:13:58.360 --> 00:13:59.540 Constantly doing work. 00:13:59.700 --> 00:14:01.060 There but not there. 00:14:02.340 --> 00:14:03.320 Paranormal papa. 00:14:05.620 --> 00:14:06.680 Ghost dad. 00:14:06.679 --> 00:14:06.759 God. 00:14:08.599 --> 00:14:10.479 Tends to avoid conflict. 00:14:11.179 --> 00:14:14.039 Oftentimes emotionally unavailable. 00:14:16.899 --> 00:14:19.339 He values personal comfort. 00:14:19.979 --> 00:14:21.539 Over caring for his children. 00:14:22.939 --> 00:14:24.799 He values his own comfort. 00:14:26.939 --> 00:14:31.259 And his wife often feels like she is a functional single mom. 00:14:33.479 --> 00:14:35.819 So, two mistakes. 00:14:36.679 --> 00:14:38.519 Captain Von Trapp dad. 00:14:39.599 --> 00:14:40.239 Ghost dad. 00:14:41.819 --> 00:14:43.019 Do you know, um, 00:14:44.039 --> 00:14:45.179 when you're driving your car, 00:14:45.319 --> 00:14:47.059 if you need your suspension worked on, 00:14:47.139 --> 00:14:48.799 or if the alignment's off, 00:14:48.879 --> 00:14:51.239 you know, if you take your hand off the wheel momentarily, 00:14:51.319 --> 00:14:52.959 you'll pull one way or the other. 00:14:53.139 --> 00:14:53.959 You know what I'm talking about? 00:14:55.019 --> 00:14:57.279 Brother, you're going to pull one way or the other. 00:14:58.659 --> 00:15:00.979 You're going to either pull towards Captain Von Trapp, 00:15:01.059 --> 00:15:02.839 or you're going to pull towards ghost dad. 00:15:02.840 --> 00:15:04.860 Which way do you pull? 00:15:05.960 --> 00:15:07.000 Which way do you pull? 00:15:08.200 --> 00:15:13.759 There are two mistakes that these have in common. 00:15:14.180 --> 00:15:15.940 Two mistakes here. 00:15:16.560 --> 00:15:24.340 So when you abuse your authority in one of an overbearing way or an abdicative way, 00:15:24.920 --> 00:15:27.560 there are two things you need to be aware of. 00:15:27.559 --> 00:15:28.759 First is this. 00:15:29.719 --> 00:15:31.439 It's selfishness. 00:15:33.919 --> 00:15:35.819 It's selfishness. 00:15:37.099 --> 00:15:39.099 It's putting yourself first. 00:15:39.979 --> 00:15:42.439 It's putting yourself before your children. 00:15:42.440 --> 00:15:45.540 Whether that's in a controlling manner, 00:15:45.800 --> 00:15:50.440 or whether that is in some kind of seeking your comfort first, 00:15:50.960 --> 00:15:53.100 it's putting yourself first. 00:15:53.320 --> 00:15:57.500 It actually indicates who you're trusting in, 00:15:57.800 --> 00:15:59.320 in the parenting of your children. 00:16:00.940 --> 00:16:02.100 Or who you're not. 00:16:04.280 --> 00:16:07.500 So the first mistake that comes out of this is selfishness. 00:16:07.640 --> 00:16:10.280 The second result of these things is this. 00:16:10.279 --> 00:16:17.000 Oftentimes, these kinds of mistakes of being a dad, 00:16:17.480 --> 00:16:22.519 they produce angry, discouraged children. 00:16:24.699 --> 00:16:27.100 It's not difficult to imagine. 00:16:28.699 --> 00:16:33.159 That you're a child in a home whose father is overbearing, 00:16:33.339 --> 00:16:35.600 he overreacts, he's unpredictable, 00:16:36.000 --> 00:16:38.879 it's like walking on eggshells around him. 00:16:38.879 --> 00:16:44.120 Over time, you feel like you're trapped and you have no recourse. 00:16:44.960 --> 00:16:46.820 Do you know what happens to people in that situation? 00:16:47.539 --> 00:16:48.720 They get angry. 00:16:50.080 --> 00:16:52.360 They don't feel like they have any way to escape. 00:16:53.179 --> 00:16:56.639 They start looking to their 18-year-old birthday as ticket out. 00:16:56.639 --> 00:17:06.119 And so children can avoid a Captain Von Trapp dad because they're afraid of him. 00:17:08.119 --> 00:17:13.460 But children can avoid ghost dad as well because he's irrelevant. 00:17:16.460 --> 00:17:18.299 He doesn't seem to care in them. 00:17:18.299 --> 00:17:25.460 And as they have watched their mother try to do the work of two people, 00:17:26.460 --> 00:17:27.940 they get angry too. 00:17:27.940 --> 00:17:37.000 Both mistakes can result in a state of anger in a child. 00:17:37.820 --> 00:17:38.460 Exasperation. 00:17:41.860 --> 00:17:43.440 It's pretty serious stuff. 00:17:45.100 --> 00:17:46.519 It's sobering, isn't it? 00:17:47.180 --> 00:17:50.900 That the way that you parent your children can affect your children this way? 00:17:50.900 --> 00:17:58.200 Jesus does not want us to embitter our children. 00:17:59.460 --> 00:18:03.759 He does not want us to be Captain Von Trapp or ghost dad. 00:18:06.759 --> 00:18:09.519 You know, I've been thinking about this sermon all week long, 00:18:09.620 --> 00:18:14.560 and earlier in the week, I got the really cute idea, I thought, 00:18:14.560 --> 00:18:19.540 that I would put myself through a dad audit with my children. 00:18:21.600 --> 00:18:25.160 So Tuesday, Wednesday morning, I forget which one. 00:18:25.320 --> 00:18:26.820 It all blurs together at this point. 00:18:28.680 --> 00:18:29.820 I sat my kids down. 00:18:29.900 --> 00:18:31.759 So typically in the Salvati home, it's like this. 00:18:31.840 --> 00:18:33.000 I wake up really early. 00:18:33.120 --> 00:18:36.380 I drink my coffee, read my Bible, and I'm just waiting for people to wake up. 00:18:40.720 --> 00:18:42.560 And everybody eventually wakes up. 00:18:42.560 --> 00:18:45.720 We come down, eat breakfast together, get the Word together for a little bit, 00:18:45.840 --> 00:18:47.720 pray, and then we disperse for the day. 00:18:47.720 --> 00:18:51.440 Let's just say it was Wednesday. 00:18:51.539 --> 00:18:56.440 This past Wednesday, I thought, okay, Ephesians 6, 4, I'm going to have to preach this. 00:18:56.539 --> 00:18:58.259 I better ask a hard question. 00:18:58.700 --> 00:19:01.160 So here's what I ask my children, my three older children. 00:19:01.720 --> 00:19:06.339 By the way, I've got permission to share the results of my audit. 00:19:06.339 --> 00:19:15.179 I ask them, what do I do that makes you angry? 00:19:16.500 --> 00:19:18.039 What do I do that annoys you? 00:19:18.619 --> 00:19:20.319 What do I do that frustrates you? 00:19:20.679 --> 00:19:23.039 And to be honest with you, I thought it was going to take a little bit 00:19:23.039 --> 00:19:28.740 for them to kind of pull something, reach for something. 00:19:29.859 --> 00:19:30.639 Not at all. 00:19:30.640 --> 00:19:33.800 It's like, pow, pow, pow, pow, pow, pow, pow. 00:19:37.220 --> 00:19:39.240 Okay, so here was the first response. 00:19:39.780 --> 00:19:41.660 My wake-up techniques. 00:19:42.460 --> 00:19:46.080 For some reason, they don't like being wakened up to flashing lights, 00:19:47.140 --> 00:19:51.020 me singing something like, oh, what a beautiful morning, 00:19:51.540 --> 00:19:53.080 oh, what a beautiful day. 00:19:53.960 --> 00:19:56.300 They don't like me jumping on their bed. 00:19:56.299 --> 00:19:59.220 They don't like me pulling off their covers. 00:20:04.240 --> 00:20:06.700 And then I started to think, you know, neither would I. 00:20:08.359 --> 00:20:09.379 If I were them. 00:20:09.519 --> 00:20:10.399 You know, this is basic. 00:20:10.519 --> 00:20:12.259 Love your neighbor as yourself, Salvati. 00:20:15.240 --> 00:20:18.399 This morning, I woke up my boys very graciously, by the way. 00:20:18.400 --> 00:20:23.060 The second response was very specific. 00:20:24.740 --> 00:20:27.600 How you eat your pizza really annoys me. 00:20:30.460 --> 00:20:31.480 I had no idea. 00:20:33.040 --> 00:20:34.720 You know what went through my mind first? 00:20:35.180 --> 00:20:36.560 Tonight, we're ordering a pizza. 00:20:37.259 --> 00:20:38.460 That's what went through my mind. 00:20:41.240 --> 00:20:41.900 You know what? 00:20:41.940 --> 00:20:44.420 I don't quite know what the solution to that is, 00:20:44.500 --> 00:20:45.600 but I'm eager to learn. 00:20:45.599 --> 00:20:49.399 And then things got more convicting. 00:20:52.619 --> 00:20:54.619 Dad, you don't stop when we ask you to. 00:20:55.639 --> 00:20:57.919 When we wrestle, I apply the noogie. 00:20:59.279 --> 00:21:01.719 And sometimes that results in tears. 00:21:02.519 --> 00:21:05.059 I don't stop when they ask me to stop. 00:21:06.039 --> 00:21:07.779 It's a lack of self-control. 00:21:09.719 --> 00:21:11.179 There was a common refrain, 00:21:11.819 --> 00:21:13.559 and then you get mad at me, Dad. 00:21:13.559 --> 00:21:13.619 Dad. 00:21:15.599 --> 00:21:17.959 They're pointing to impatience in me. 00:21:20.500 --> 00:21:25.119 Dad, when plans change for our family, 00:21:26.339 --> 00:21:27.539 unless it's your idea, 00:21:28.339 --> 00:21:29.319 you tend to flip out. 00:21:30.559 --> 00:21:31.839 You tend to freak out. 00:21:33.019 --> 00:21:34.759 I realize I'm inflexible. 00:21:35.359 --> 00:21:36.139 I'm ungracious. 00:21:37.000 --> 00:21:39.459 I'm unwilling to roll with it if it's not my idea. 00:21:41.000 --> 00:21:42.759 Dad, you're irritable on Mondays. 00:21:42.759 --> 00:21:43.920 You tend to overreact. 00:21:44.039 --> 00:21:45.519 Blow things out of proportion. 00:21:45.720 --> 00:21:47.799 Make mountains out of molehills. 00:21:50.599 --> 00:21:54.299 Dad, there are times when you ask us not to do something, 00:21:54.440 --> 00:21:56.960 but then just moments later, you do it yourself. 00:21:57.240 --> 00:21:58.500 Dad, you're being hypocritical. 00:22:01.220 --> 00:22:04.539 Dad, you're slow to follow through with your Word. 00:22:04.539 --> 00:22:07.940 Dad, it ends up feeling like a broken promise. 00:22:11.339 --> 00:22:13.839 Dad, you go into lecture mode. 00:22:16.559 --> 00:22:18.279 In other words, I don't listen enough. 00:22:22.720 --> 00:22:24.279 I walked to the building that morning. 00:22:24.500 --> 00:22:25.920 I often walked to the building, 00:22:26.839 --> 00:22:28.200 and I was pretty bummed out. 00:22:28.200 --> 00:22:33.420 Man, I wasn't expecting that. 00:22:36.059 --> 00:22:37.140 Then I realized, 00:22:37.799 --> 00:22:38.980 you know what? 00:22:40.380 --> 00:22:42.640 I asked my kids, and they were honest with me. 00:22:43.279 --> 00:22:44.680 I got real data now. 00:22:46.120 --> 00:22:47.019 God, help me. 00:22:48.860 --> 00:22:50.680 God, help me be more self-controlled. 00:22:50.840 --> 00:22:53.279 Help me be more loving with my wake-up techniques. 00:22:53.500 --> 00:22:54.559 Help me to be patient. 00:22:55.019 --> 00:22:56.480 Help me to eat my pizza in a way 00:22:56.480 --> 00:22:57.799 that blesses other people. 00:22:59.839 --> 00:23:01.900 Help me to be flexible with plans. 00:23:02.039 --> 00:23:04.160 Help me to be sober-minded, 00:23:04.259 --> 00:23:05.640 not blow things out of proportion. 00:23:06.099 --> 00:23:08.279 Help me not to be a hypocrite. 00:23:10.539 --> 00:23:12.940 Help me to follow through quickly with what I say. 00:23:14.900 --> 00:23:16.480 Help me to listen well. 00:23:19.420 --> 00:23:21.759 I found peace in my heart. 00:23:21.759 --> 00:23:27.160 God is for me in my parenting of my children. 00:23:29.400 --> 00:23:32.240 Brothers, your wife can help you out tremendously here as well. 00:23:32.700 --> 00:23:34.480 You do the dance with her called marriage, 00:23:34.819 --> 00:23:36.819 and she will whisper in your ear sometimes, 00:23:37.220 --> 00:23:39.920 you're being mean right now to the kids. 00:23:41.059 --> 00:23:42.740 Sometimes that feels like a swift kick, 00:23:42.960 --> 00:23:44.920 kick underneath a dinner table. 00:23:44.920 --> 00:23:47.240 It's a blessing. 00:23:49.539 --> 00:23:51.400 Brothers, can I encourage you to do the audit? 00:23:53.120 --> 00:23:55.920 To ask your children if they can understand? 00:23:57.600 --> 00:24:00.640 Kids, how am I annoying you? 00:24:01.779 --> 00:24:04.019 Because I don't want to annoy you. 00:24:05.019 --> 00:24:07.100 I don't want to provoke you to anger. 00:24:07.099 --> 00:24:14.299 This morning, this is all fresh in me. 00:24:16.259 --> 00:24:21.219 And I found myself, I read a psalm every day, 00:24:21.339 --> 00:24:23.199 and I was in Psalm 102, and I'm like, 00:24:23.339 --> 00:24:25.959 oh, I need to get to Psalm 103. 00:24:27.859 --> 00:24:29.079 Brothers, will you hear this? 00:24:29.119 --> 00:24:30.719 Because I'm guessing if you're like me, 00:24:31.219 --> 00:24:33.519 you have Captain Von Trapp tendencies 00:24:33.519 --> 00:24:35.339 and ghost dad tendencies, 00:24:35.339 --> 00:24:38.139 and when you're confronted with God's Word like this, 00:24:38.179 --> 00:24:40.399 you become very aware of something you're not. 00:24:41.399 --> 00:24:42.679 Of how you fail. 00:24:44.539 --> 00:24:45.379 Listen to this. 00:24:47.339 --> 00:24:49.379 The Lord is merciful and gracious, 00:24:49.619 --> 00:24:52.179 slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. 00:24:52.279 --> 00:24:53.480 He will not always chide, 00:24:53.559 --> 00:24:55.759 nor will He keep His anger forever. 00:24:56.179 --> 00:25:00.359 He does not deal with dads according to their sins. 00:25:01.359 --> 00:25:03.859 Nor repay us according to our iniquities. 00:25:03.859 --> 00:25:05.839 Those are promises in Jesus. 00:25:07.699 --> 00:25:09.959 For as high as the heavens are above the earth, 00:25:10.079 --> 00:25:11.959 so great is His steadfast love 00:25:11.959 --> 00:25:13.379 toward those who fear Him. 00:25:13.859 --> 00:25:15.599 As far as the east is from the west, 00:25:15.659 --> 00:25:18.619 so far does it remove our transgressions from us. 00:25:19.079 --> 00:25:22.500 As a father shows compassion to his children, 00:25:22.759 --> 00:25:24.919 so the Lord shows compassion 00:25:24.919 --> 00:25:26.759 to those who fear Him. 00:25:26.759 --> 00:25:30.660 For He knows dads our frame. 00:25:30.779 --> 00:25:32.220 He knows we're dust. 00:25:34.140 --> 00:25:35.759 He knows our tendencies. 00:25:37.819 --> 00:25:40.660 So when we're confronted with our shortcomings, 00:25:40.779 --> 00:25:43.099 do you know what we must do, brothers, as dads? 00:25:43.740 --> 00:25:45.259 Cry out to our Heavenly Father. 00:25:46.140 --> 00:25:47.180 Oh God, help me. 00:25:47.740 --> 00:25:48.640 I confess. 00:25:49.200 --> 00:25:50.819 These are all true. 00:25:50.819 --> 00:25:53.019 Change me. 00:25:53.899 --> 00:25:55.439 Make me more like Jesus. 00:25:56.419 --> 00:25:58.919 Keep me from angering my children. 00:25:59.119 --> 00:26:02.159 Rather, help me to raise my children 00:26:02.159 --> 00:26:04.359 in a way that pleases you. 00:26:05.059 --> 00:26:06.319 Let's go to point three now. 00:26:07.119 --> 00:26:09.279 Fathers, be faithful. 00:26:10.439 --> 00:26:11.799 Be faithful. 00:26:13.799 --> 00:26:16.359 Be a faithful dad. 00:26:16.359 --> 00:26:19.240 Back to Ephesians 6. 00:26:19.859 --> 00:26:20.639 We read this. 00:26:20.959 --> 00:26:22.799 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger. 00:26:23.279 --> 00:26:24.699 Don't misuse your authority, 00:26:25.319 --> 00:26:26.759 but bring them up 00:26:26.759 --> 00:26:29.719 in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. 00:26:30.240 --> 00:26:30.939 Raise them. 00:26:31.399 --> 00:26:32.359 Nurture them. 00:26:33.039 --> 00:26:34.699 God is talking to us, brothers. 00:26:35.419 --> 00:26:37.139 That's command to us. 00:26:37.839 --> 00:26:39.399 We raise our children 00:26:39.399 --> 00:26:42.279 in the fear and admonition of the Lord. 00:26:42.279 --> 00:26:46.359 Brothers, sisters, 00:26:46.960 --> 00:26:49.339 I'm going to share with you four things right now 00:26:49.339 --> 00:26:51.779 of how to raise children. 00:26:52.240 --> 00:26:53.720 They're principle-based, 00:26:54.160 --> 00:26:57.180 and so they're not nitty-gritty practical things, 00:26:57.379 --> 00:26:59.420 but I believe they're going to be helpful for you. 00:26:59.879 --> 00:27:01.519 And I'm going to ask you, brothers, 00:27:01.599 --> 00:27:03.019 to make sure you and your wife 00:27:03.019 --> 00:27:04.579 are on the same page with these things. 00:27:05.579 --> 00:27:07.599 So four things in terms of 00:27:07.599 --> 00:27:09.639 how to raise your children. 00:27:10.240 --> 00:27:11.879 First, the goal. 00:27:12.279 --> 00:27:13.700 Second, the target. 00:27:14.180 --> 00:27:15.319 Third, the means. 00:27:15.759 --> 00:27:17.079 Fourth, the method. 00:27:17.339 --> 00:27:17.639 You ready? 00:27:18.299 --> 00:27:18.960 Let's dive in. 00:27:20.200 --> 00:27:21.599 How to be a faithful father. 00:27:22.899 --> 00:27:23.420 The goal. 00:27:25.460 --> 00:27:26.539 Bring up your children. 00:27:28.039 --> 00:27:28.960 Nurture your children. 00:27:30.119 --> 00:27:30.940 Raise them. 00:27:31.579 --> 00:27:32.420 The question is, 00:27:32.960 --> 00:27:33.960 into what? 00:27:36.220 --> 00:27:38.180 That's where we need to be united on the goal. 00:27:38.180 --> 00:27:43.380 We are being called brothers and sisters 00:27:43.380 --> 00:27:45.299 to raise our children 00:27:45.299 --> 00:27:47.500 to become responsible 00:27:47.500 --> 00:27:50.320 and mature young adults 00:27:50.320 --> 00:27:51.660 who love Jesus. 00:27:52.080 --> 00:27:53.480 That's what we're being called to do. 00:27:53.480 --> 00:27:55.740 And it's hard work. 00:27:57.740 --> 00:27:59.880 So let me try to spell this out a little bit. 00:28:00.539 --> 00:28:02.519 By the time our children leave our homes, 00:28:02.819 --> 00:28:04.880 we want them to know how to walk with God. 00:28:05.579 --> 00:28:07.259 We want them to know how to read their Bibles. 00:28:07.400 --> 00:28:09.000 We want them to know how to pray. 00:28:09.120 --> 00:28:10.980 We want them to see the benefit 00:28:10.980 --> 00:28:12.380 of coming together as a church 00:28:12.380 --> 00:28:13.680 and be in our God's Word together. 00:28:13.680 --> 00:28:17.120 We want them to worship from their toes. 00:28:18.019 --> 00:28:20.159 We want that relationship with God 00:28:20.159 --> 00:28:21.639 for them to be growing there. 00:28:21.739 --> 00:28:25.099 To know how for themselves to manage that. 00:28:26.099 --> 00:28:28.139 And we also want to help them 00:28:28.139 --> 00:28:29.399 understand themselves. 00:28:29.619 --> 00:28:31.019 Their relationship with themselves. 00:28:31.459 --> 00:28:33.859 To see themselves as God sees them. 00:28:34.559 --> 00:28:36.619 To understand their sexuality. 00:28:38.519 --> 00:28:41.099 To know what their strengths and weaknesses are. 00:28:41.179 --> 00:28:42.519 To know their own aspirations. 00:28:42.519 --> 00:28:47.180 We want to help them understand themselves 00:28:47.180 --> 00:28:48.559 as God sees them. 00:28:49.980 --> 00:28:51.700 We want to help our children 00:28:51.700 --> 00:28:53.480 know how to relate with other people. 00:28:54.440 --> 00:28:58.559 How to seek peace when experiencing conflict. 00:29:00.240 --> 00:29:01.940 How to be a faithful friend. 00:29:02.079 --> 00:29:03.440 How to follow through with commitments. 00:29:04.579 --> 00:29:06.400 And of course, we want to help our children 00:29:06.400 --> 00:29:09.240 be good stewards of what's entrusted to them. 00:29:09.240 --> 00:29:13.799 So that's just a little profile of the goal here. 00:29:14.599 --> 00:29:17.500 We are being called to raise up 00:29:17.500 --> 00:29:19.259 mature followers of Jesus. 00:29:19.660 --> 00:29:20.099 Our children. 00:29:22.420 --> 00:29:24.319 That leads us to the target. 00:29:25.940 --> 00:29:27.519 How do you go about doing that? 00:29:29.420 --> 00:29:31.299 The target of our parenting. 00:29:31.539 --> 00:29:33.819 What we're aiming our parenting at 00:29:33.819 --> 00:29:38.079 are our children's hearts. 00:29:39.240 --> 00:29:42.859 Not their behavior so much. 00:29:43.700 --> 00:29:44.680 Their hearts. 00:29:45.200 --> 00:29:45.839 Here's why. 00:29:47.500 --> 00:29:50.400 The heart is the control center 00:29:50.400 --> 00:29:51.539 of your child's life. 00:29:51.620 --> 00:29:52.980 It's the control center of your life. 00:29:54.440 --> 00:29:55.880 The Hebrew minds of the time 00:29:55.880 --> 00:29:56.920 believed that the heart 00:29:56.920 --> 00:29:59.279 was the central place 00:29:59.279 --> 00:30:01.620 of one's reasoning, 00:30:02.359 --> 00:30:03.160 one's feeling, 00:30:03.519 --> 00:30:04.380 and one's will. 00:30:04.380 --> 00:30:06.940 It would be the crank house 00:30:06.940 --> 00:30:08.980 of a human being. 00:30:09.880 --> 00:30:11.840 And so we behave 00:30:11.840 --> 00:30:13.700 out of our hearts. 00:30:15.040 --> 00:30:16.860 And so Proverbs 4.23 says, 00:30:17.100 --> 00:30:18.260 Guard your heart above all else, 00:30:18.700 --> 00:30:21.160 for from it flow the wellspring of life. 00:30:22.240 --> 00:30:23.680 You live out of your heart. 00:30:24.720 --> 00:30:26.300 It's the source of desires. 00:30:26.840 --> 00:30:28.460 It's the source of cravings. 00:30:28.500 --> 00:30:30.780 You actually worship out of your heart. 00:30:30.779 --> 00:30:33.379 And so as parents, 00:30:34.059 --> 00:30:35.279 if we see a behavior 00:30:35.279 --> 00:30:36.819 that needs to change in our children, 00:30:37.680 --> 00:30:40.059 we just don't manage the behavior. 00:30:40.660 --> 00:30:42.960 We actually go to the source 00:30:42.960 --> 00:30:43.759 of the behavior 00:30:43.759 --> 00:30:45.519 and we seek to address 00:30:45.519 --> 00:30:47.160 our children's hearts 00:30:47.160 --> 00:30:50.180 with God's Word. 00:30:50.180 --> 00:30:53.940 And so the goal, 00:30:54.380 --> 00:30:55.360 mature Christians, 00:30:56.240 --> 00:30:58.220 the target is the heart 00:30:58.220 --> 00:30:59.220 of our children. 00:30:59.860 --> 00:31:01.500 And that brings us to the means. 00:31:03.500 --> 00:31:05.660 I can't change my children's heart. 00:31:06.340 --> 00:31:07.320 Only God can. 00:31:08.820 --> 00:31:10.500 And in order for God 00:31:10.500 --> 00:31:12.160 to change my child's heart, 00:31:12.299 --> 00:31:14.160 I pray and I pray and I pray 00:31:14.160 --> 00:31:15.759 and I bring God's Word 00:31:15.759 --> 00:31:17.420 to bear as best as I can. 00:31:17.420 --> 00:31:20.220 And so the means 00:31:20.220 --> 00:31:22.039 is God's Word. 00:31:23.240 --> 00:31:24.740 We as parents 00:31:24.740 --> 00:31:26.640 are called to bring God's Word 00:31:26.640 --> 00:31:28.500 to bear on the hearts 00:31:28.500 --> 00:31:29.880 of our children. 00:31:30.140 --> 00:31:30.620 Why? 00:31:31.660 --> 00:31:32.759 Let me just remind you 00:31:32.759 --> 00:31:34.279 what God's Word does. 00:31:36.700 --> 00:31:39.160 Hebrews 4, verse 12. 00:31:39.279 --> 00:31:40.900 I'm sure many of you know this by heart. 00:31:42.420 --> 00:31:43.840 For the Word of God 00:31:43.840 --> 00:31:45.000 is living and active, 00:31:45.000 --> 00:31:48.519 sharper than any two-edged sword, 00:31:48.700 --> 00:31:49.740 piercing to the division 00:31:49.740 --> 00:31:50.779 of soul and spirit, 00:31:50.880 --> 00:31:51.720 of joints and marrow, 00:31:52.559 --> 00:31:54.960 and discerning the thoughts 00:31:54.960 --> 00:31:59.099 and intentions of the heart. 00:32:00.779 --> 00:32:02.119 Do you want God 00:32:02.119 --> 00:32:03.319 to address your children? 00:32:03.880 --> 00:32:05.420 Get God's Word 00:32:05.420 --> 00:32:08.200 into your children's hearts. 00:32:08.720 --> 00:32:09.500 You know what this means? 00:32:10.700 --> 00:32:11.660 Christian parenting 00:32:11.660 --> 00:32:13.640 is actually ministry of the Word. 00:32:13.640 --> 00:32:15.600 Parents, 00:32:15.700 --> 00:32:16.920 you are ministering the Word 00:32:16.920 --> 00:32:17.640 to your children, 00:32:17.860 --> 00:32:20.540 not in a slap-on band-aid 00:32:20.540 --> 00:32:21.300 kind of way, 00:32:22.100 --> 00:32:24.040 but through heart conversations 00:32:24.040 --> 00:32:24.980 with your children. 00:32:25.420 --> 00:32:27.340 You listen to your children 00:32:27.340 --> 00:32:29.460 and you know God's Word 00:32:29.460 --> 00:32:30.940 and you are the bridge 00:32:30.940 --> 00:32:31.980 that brings them together. 00:32:35.100 --> 00:32:37.600 We want to instruct our children. 00:32:37.759 --> 00:32:39.480 See that word in Ephesians 6, 4? 00:32:39.480 --> 00:32:41.599 Bring them up in the discipline 00:32:41.599 --> 00:32:43.819 and instruction of the Lord. 00:32:44.740 --> 00:32:47.440 God's Word instructs our children. 00:32:48.180 --> 00:32:49.980 It reveals who God is. 00:32:50.140 --> 00:32:51.900 It reveals who they are. 00:32:52.140 --> 00:32:53.200 It helps them understand 00:32:53.200 --> 00:32:54.640 the workings of their hearts. 00:32:55.099 --> 00:32:56.319 It provides guidelines 00:32:56.319 --> 00:32:57.000 for them to live. 00:32:57.059 --> 00:32:58.000 We want to get God's Word 00:32:58.000 --> 00:32:58.360 in their hearts, 00:32:58.440 --> 00:32:59.000 but here's the deal, 00:32:59.099 --> 00:32:59.500 Mom and Dad. 00:33:03.059 --> 00:33:04.599 We are unable 00:33:04.599 --> 00:33:05.779 to get God's Word 00:33:05.779 --> 00:33:06.940 into our children's hearts 00:33:06.940 --> 00:33:07.779 if God's Word 00:33:07.779 --> 00:33:08.899 isn't on our hearts. 00:33:10.259 --> 00:33:11.399 Would you turn your Bibles 00:33:11.399 --> 00:33:12.839 back to Deuteronomy 6? 00:33:24.720 --> 00:33:27.099 Deuteronomy 6, chapter 6, verse 4. 00:33:27.200 --> 00:33:27.819 This is the Shema. 00:33:28.099 --> 00:33:28.960 Hear, O Israel, 00:33:29.039 --> 00:33:29.639 the Lord our God, 00:33:29.680 --> 00:33:30.319 the Lord is one. 00:33:30.399 --> 00:33:31.259 You shall love the Lord 00:33:31.259 --> 00:33:32.339 with everything you've got. 00:33:32.420 --> 00:33:33.359 And then in verse 16, 00:33:33.460 --> 00:33:33.899 he says, 00:33:34.359 --> 00:33:35.599 and these words 00:33:35.599 --> 00:33:36.879 that I command you today 00:33:36.880 --> 00:33:39.840 shall be on your hearts. 00:33:41.100 --> 00:33:43.600 God's Word on our hearts. 00:33:44.860 --> 00:33:46.800 Governing our lives. 00:33:46.940 --> 00:33:47.860 That's what he's getting at. 00:33:49.000 --> 00:33:50.120 And then look at verse 7. 00:33:50.880 --> 00:33:52.320 You shall teach them 00:33:52.320 --> 00:33:55.020 God's words diligently 00:33:55.020 --> 00:33:56.260 to your children. 00:33:56.460 --> 00:33:56.800 You see, 00:33:57.380 --> 00:33:58.860 God wants to get His Word 00:33:58.860 --> 00:33:59.960 into your children 00:33:59.960 --> 00:34:00.820 through you. 00:34:02.160 --> 00:34:03.580 Which brings us now 00:34:03.579 --> 00:34:04.659 to the method. 00:34:06.720 --> 00:34:07.119 Training. 00:34:08.880 --> 00:34:09.940 Bring up your children 00:34:09.940 --> 00:34:11.719 in the discipline 00:34:11.719 --> 00:34:13.480 also known as training 00:34:13.480 --> 00:34:15.739 and instruction of the Lord. 00:34:15.739 --> 00:34:16.840 It's the picture 00:34:16.840 --> 00:34:17.880 of repping things out. 00:34:18.019 --> 00:34:18.139 You know, 00:34:18.480 --> 00:34:20.259 a coach brings his team 00:34:20.259 --> 00:34:22.279 and he practices his team. 00:34:22.539 --> 00:34:23.840 He just reps it out. 00:34:24.119 --> 00:34:25.639 He explains what's expected, 00:34:26.039 --> 00:34:26.599 shows them, 00:34:26.799 --> 00:34:28.039 models them how to do it, 00:34:28.219 --> 00:34:29.840 and then lets them try. 00:34:30.000 --> 00:34:31.319 And then he corrects them 00:34:31.320 --> 00:34:32.680 to make sure their techniques 00:34:32.680 --> 00:34:33.300 are right 00:34:33.300 --> 00:34:34.920 so that they learn 00:34:34.920 --> 00:34:35.820 to love the game. 00:34:37.440 --> 00:34:37.960 Dads, 00:34:38.000 --> 00:34:39.180 we are coaching 00:34:39.180 --> 00:34:40.220 our children 00:34:40.220 --> 00:34:42.440 into Christ-likeness. 00:34:42.559 --> 00:34:43.260 That's what we're doing. 00:34:44.539 --> 00:34:44.980 And so, 00:34:45.740 --> 00:34:46.580 the key 00:34:46.580 --> 00:34:47.620 to the method 00:34:47.620 --> 00:34:48.840 here is this. 00:34:49.460 --> 00:34:51.000 Your life. 00:34:52.160 --> 00:34:53.400 The method we see 00:34:53.400 --> 00:34:53.980 modeled 00:34:53.980 --> 00:34:55.820 in Deuteronomy 6 00:34:55.820 --> 00:34:57.720 is life 00:34:57.720 --> 00:34:58.720 on life. 00:34:59.800 --> 00:35:00.640 Let me read it for you. 00:35:00.820 --> 00:35:01.720 Deuteronomy 6 00:35:01.720 --> 00:35:03.720 verses 6 and 7. 00:35:03.800 --> 00:35:04.420 And these words 00:35:04.420 --> 00:35:05.220 that I command you today 00:35:05.220 --> 00:35:06.140 shall be on your heart. 00:35:06.240 --> 00:35:06.900 You shall teach them 00:35:06.900 --> 00:35:08.000 diligently to your children 00:35:08.000 --> 00:35:09.480 and shall talk 00:35:09.480 --> 00:35:10.140 of them 00:35:10.140 --> 00:35:11.400 with your children 00:35:11.400 --> 00:35:12.059 when you sit 00:35:12.059 --> 00:35:12.620 in your house 00:35:12.620 --> 00:35:13.220 and when you walk 00:35:13.220 --> 00:35:13.740 by the way 00:35:13.740 --> 00:35:14.820 and when you lie down 00:35:14.820 --> 00:35:16.220 and when you rise up. 00:35:16.300 --> 00:35:17.100 You shall bind them 00:35:17.100 --> 00:35:18.420 as a sign on your hand, 00:35:18.720 --> 00:35:19.620 between your eyes, 00:35:19.740 --> 00:35:20.780 on your doorposts, 00:35:20.820 --> 00:35:21.360 your gates. 00:35:21.700 --> 00:35:22.840 God's word shows up 00:35:22.840 --> 00:35:24.019 all over the place. 00:35:24.019 --> 00:35:26.179 What we're seeing here 00:35:26.179 --> 00:35:26.800 as the method 00:35:26.800 --> 00:35:27.820 of Christian parenting 00:35:27.820 --> 00:35:28.940 is getting God's word 00:35:28.940 --> 00:35:29.639 into our parents, 00:35:29.900 --> 00:35:30.539 our children's lives? 00:35:31.539 --> 00:35:32.820 Ongoing conversations. 00:35:34.099 --> 00:35:35.679 We're constantly training. 00:35:36.659 --> 00:35:38.000 We're constantly talking 00:35:38.000 --> 00:35:38.960 about God's word. 00:35:39.639 --> 00:35:40.159 Further, 00:35:40.659 --> 00:35:42.579 further need 00:35:42.579 --> 00:35:43.360 to have God's word 00:35:43.360 --> 00:35:45.019 on your heart. 00:35:47.000 --> 00:35:47.920 Just a word 00:35:47.920 --> 00:35:48.619 about discipline. 00:35:50.380 --> 00:35:51.900 God calls parents 00:35:51.900 --> 00:35:53.079 to discipline their children, 00:35:53.079 --> 00:35:54.119 to correct them, 00:35:54.179 --> 00:35:55.000 to teach them 00:35:55.000 --> 00:35:55.960 through their discipline. 00:35:57.860 --> 00:35:58.819 And whatever, 00:35:59.039 --> 00:35:59.500 whether you're going 00:35:59.500 --> 00:36:00.420 to spank your child 00:36:00.420 --> 00:36:01.259 or whether you're going 00:36:01.259 --> 00:36:02.799 to withhold a privilege, 00:36:03.279 --> 00:36:04.599 whatever you do, 00:36:04.940 --> 00:36:06.639 it must be done 00:36:06.639 --> 00:36:07.579 in love 00:36:07.579 --> 00:36:11.460 for their good. 00:36:12.319 --> 00:36:13.319 That's what we see 00:36:13.319 --> 00:36:14.420 modeled in Hebrews 00:36:14.420 --> 00:36:15.380 chapter 12 00:36:15.380 --> 00:36:16.779 verses 8 through 11. 00:36:17.579 --> 00:36:19.119 Our Father in Heaven 00:36:19.119 --> 00:36:20.679 disciplines us 00:36:20.679 --> 00:36:22.559 for our good 00:36:22.559 --> 00:36:23.940 that we would share 00:36:23.940 --> 00:36:25.359 in a peaceful fruit 00:36:25.359 --> 00:36:26.759 of righteousness. 00:36:30.059 --> 00:36:31.500 So what is this training? 00:36:31.899 --> 00:36:32.419 Essentially, 00:36:32.659 --> 00:36:34.079 it means time, 00:36:34.379 --> 00:36:34.839 together, 00:36:35.500 --> 00:36:36.079 proximity. 00:36:36.440 --> 00:36:37.480 You are close 00:36:37.480 --> 00:36:38.219 with your child. 00:36:38.339 --> 00:36:39.139 You're able to see 00:36:39.139 --> 00:36:39.799 their lives. 00:36:40.139 --> 00:36:40.819 They're able to see 00:36:40.819 --> 00:36:41.779 your life. 00:36:42.059 --> 00:36:43.679 It requires intentionality 00:36:43.679 --> 00:36:45.019 because you're looking 00:36:45.019 --> 00:36:46.139 to have conversations 00:36:46.139 --> 00:36:47.579 on a heart level 00:36:47.579 --> 00:36:48.139 with them 00:36:48.139 --> 00:36:50.059 and it means consistency 00:36:50.059 --> 00:36:52.019 again and again 00:36:52.019 --> 00:36:52.480 and again. 00:36:53.460 --> 00:36:54.420 Again and again 00:36:54.420 --> 00:36:54.699 and again. 00:36:54.759 --> 00:36:55.420 You know what this means 00:36:55.420 --> 00:36:56.159 for us dads? 00:36:57.099 --> 00:36:58.259 We might not be able 00:36:58.259 --> 00:36:58.839 to work out 00:36:58.839 --> 00:36:59.819 as much as we want to. 00:37:00.119 --> 00:37:00.980 We might get a little 00:37:00.980 --> 00:37:02.159 flabby in this season 00:37:02.159 --> 00:37:02.799 of our parenting. 00:37:03.460 --> 00:37:04.059 And you know what? 00:37:05.039 --> 00:37:06.179 It's so worth it. 00:37:07.719 --> 00:37:09.420 Our children's godliness 00:37:09.420 --> 00:37:10.319 is worth it. 00:37:10.920 --> 00:37:12.000 We might have to say 00:37:12.000 --> 00:37:13.379 no to a promotion 00:37:13.380 --> 00:37:14.460 which would mean 00:37:14.460 --> 00:37:15.539 10 to 20 hours 00:37:15.539 --> 00:37:16.280 of our work week. 00:37:16.559 --> 00:37:17.420 We say no 00:37:17.420 --> 00:37:19.160 because I need that time 00:37:19.160 --> 00:37:20.420 to be able to build 00:37:20.420 --> 00:37:21.099 into my children. 00:37:21.940 --> 00:37:22.320 Sorry. 00:37:23.500 --> 00:37:24.180 You might need 00:37:24.180 --> 00:37:25.200 to curb a hobby. 00:37:25.420 --> 00:37:26.480 It's taking too much time. 00:37:27.200 --> 00:37:28.019 I need that time 00:37:28.019 --> 00:37:29.619 to invest in my children. 00:37:30.740 --> 00:37:31.840 They need me. 00:37:34.360 --> 00:37:35.240 So we've looked 00:37:35.240 --> 00:37:35.840 at the goal, 00:37:36.360 --> 00:37:37.119 Christlikeness. 00:37:37.280 --> 00:37:38.160 We've looked at the target, 00:37:38.500 --> 00:37:38.920 the heart. 00:37:39.079 --> 00:37:39.900 We've looked at the means, 00:37:40.059 --> 00:37:40.780 God's word. 00:37:41.160 --> 00:37:42.380 We've looked at the method, 00:37:42.380 --> 00:37:43.720 life on life. 00:37:45.059 --> 00:37:46.440 Conversational discipleship 00:37:46.440 --> 00:37:47.200 with your children 00:37:47.200 --> 00:37:49.460 around God's word. 00:37:50.840 --> 00:37:51.740 None of us 00:37:51.740 --> 00:37:53.860 can change our child's heart, 00:37:53.960 --> 00:37:54.360 can we? 00:37:55.579 --> 00:37:57.220 So a Christian parent 00:37:57.220 --> 00:37:59.320 is a praying person. 00:37:59.940 --> 00:38:01.220 All throughout this, 00:38:01.280 --> 00:38:02.519 we are trusting God 00:38:02.519 --> 00:38:03.400 and asking God 00:38:03.400 --> 00:38:04.099 to do a work 00:38:04.099 --> 00:38:05.420 in our children. 00:38:06.619 --> 00:38:07.360 This morning, 00:38:07.440 --> 00:38:08.460 we've looked at three things. 00:38:09.660 --> 00:38:11.099 Dads, God has entrusted you 00:38:11.099 --> 00:38:11.920 with the responsibility 00:38:11.920 --> 00:38:13.279 for the overall welfare 00:38:13.279 --> 00:38:13.900 of your children. 00:38:15.139 --> 00:38:15.619 Second, 00:38:16.000 --> 00:38:16.400 dads, 00:38:16.559 --> 00:38:17.980 don't misuse that authority. 00:38:18.179 --> 00:38:19.599 Steer clear of Captain Von Trapp. 00:38:19.719 --> 00:38:21.059 Steer clear of Ghost Dad. 00:38:21.500 --> 00:38:22.239 Take the audit. 00:38:22.940 --> 00:38:23.319 Remember, 00:38:23.460 --> 00:38:24.400 you're forgiven much. 00:38:25.500 --> 00:38:26.079 And second, 00:38:26.880 --> 00:38:27.839 be faithful. 00:38:29.440 --> 00:38:30.420 Dance with your wife. 00:38:30.920 --> 00:38:33.239 Lead her into a shared goal. 00:38:34.579 --> 00:38:35.739 Focusing on the heart. 00:38:36.639 --> 00:38:37.839 Bring God's word to bear 00:38:37.840 --> 00:38:39.700 through your life. 00:38:41.100 --> 00:38:42.200 Got a couple questions 00:38:42.200 --> 00:38:42.980 for you to close. 00:38:46.220 --> 00:38:46.700 Dads, 00:38:46.860 --> 00:38:48.380 are you and your wife, 00:38:49.240 --> 00:38:50.500 do you have a shared goal 00:38:50.500 --> 00:38:51.980 in parenting your children? 00:38:52.800 --> 00:38:53.760 Are you on the same page? 00:38:53.940 --> 00:38:54.420 Dads, 00:38:55.240 --> 00:38:56.220 ask your wife. 00:38:57.240 --> 00:38:58.240 Lead there, brother. 00:38:59.820 --> 00:39:00.260 Second, 00:39:00.840 --> 00:39:01.300 dads, 00:39:01.300 --> 00:39:03.240 is God's word 00:39:03.240 --> 00:39:04.120 on your heart? 00:39:04.119 --> 00:39:06.579 Are you meeting God 00:39:06.579 --> 00:39:07.219 in His word? 00:39:08.000 --> 00:39:08.339 Third, 00:39:09.380 --> 00:39:09.859 dads, 00:39:09.980 --> 00:39:10.980 are you and your wife, 00:39:11.440 --> 00:39:12.500 are you settling 00:39:12.500 --> 00:39:14.539 for behavioral modification 00:39:14.539 --> 00:39:17.859 or are you intentionally 00:39:17.859 --> 00:39:19.639 seeking to address 00:39:19.639 --> 00:39:21.219 your child's heart? 00:39:23.119 --> 00:39:24.299 And fourth, 00:39:26.699 --> 00:39:27.139 dads, 00:39:27.139 --> 00:39:29.380 do you realize 00:39:29.380 --> 00:39:32.000 that there's no 00:39:32.000 --> 00:39:34.000 greater potential 00:39:34.000 --> 00:39:35.340 influence 00:39:35.340 --> 00:39:36.820 for godliness 00:39:36.820 --> 00:39:39.059 in your child's life 00:39:39.059 --> 00:39:41.099 than yours? 00:39:42.680 --> 00:39:45.099 God has placed you 00:39:45.099 --> 00:39:47.160 in your child's life 00:39:47.160 --> 00:39:48.780 for a purpose, 00:39:49.380 --> 00:39:50.460 for their good, 00:39:51.360 --> 00:39:52.340 and for God's glory. 00:39:53.140 --> 00:39:53.660 Let me pray. 00:39:53.660 --> 00:39:53.720 Amen. 00:39:53.720 --> 00:39:53.780 Amen. 00:39:53.780 --> 00:39:53.800 Amen. 00:39:53.800 --> 00:39:53.840 Amen. 00:39:53.840 --> 00:39:55.780 Amen. 00:39:59.380 --> 00:40:02.440 Father in heaven, 00:40:03.320 --> 00:40:06.180 from whom every family 00:40:06.180 --> 00:40:06.900 on earth 00:40:06.900 --> 00:40:07.900 gets their name, 00:40:08.099 --> 00:40:08.480 Father, 00:40:09.740 --> 00:40:11.960 help us fathers 00:40:11.960 --> 00:40:13.720 to be faithful 00:40:13.720 --> 00:40:14.500 to you 00:40:14.500 --> 00:40:16.880 to raise our children 00:40:16.880 --> 00:40:18.119 in a way that pleases you. 00:40:19.079 --> 00:40:19.500 God, 00:40:19.680 --> 00:40:20.500 would you fill us 00:40:20.500 --> 00:40:21.360 by your spirit 00:40:21.360 --> 00:40:22.920 so that we 00:40:22.920 --> 00:40:24.420 can be faithful 00:40:24.420 --> 00:40:24.940 to you. 00:40:25.059 --> 00:40:25.860 In Jesus' name, 00:40:26.599 --> 00:40:26.860 Amen. 00:40:29.380 --> 00:40:30.559 Amen. 00:40:31.519 --> 00:40:31.780 Amen. 00:40:31.780 --> 00:40:32.340 Amen. 00:40:32.780 --> 00:40:33.160 Amen. 00:40:33.160 --> 00:40:33.480 Amen. 00:40:33.480 --> 00:40:34.079 Amen. 00:40:34.180 --> 00:40:34.220 Amen. 00:40:34.220 --> 00:40:34.260 Amen. 00:40:34.260 --> 00:40:34.440 Amen. 00:40:34.440 --> 00:40:34.780 Amen. 00:40:38.660 --> 00:40:38.880 Amen. 00:40:39.599 --> 00:40:39.940 Amen. 00:40:39.960 --> 00:40:40.340 Amen. 00:40:40.340 --> 00:40:40.579 Amen. 00:40:41.079 --> 00:40:41.280 Amen. 00:40:42.860 --> 00:40:44.160 Amen. 00:40:44.160 --> 00:40:44.400 Amen. 00:40:44.840 --> 00:40:45.000 Amen. 00:40:46.220 --> 00:40:47.180 Amen. 00:40:47.200 --> 00:40:48.240 Amen. 00:40:48.380 --> 00:40:49.400 Amen. 00:40:49.900 --> 00:40:50.640 Amen. 00:40:50.780 --> 00:40:50.840 Amen. 00:40:52.940 --> 00:40:53.180 Amen. 00:40:53.180 --> 00:40:53.340 Amen. 00:40:53.420 --> 00:40:53.519 Amen. 00:40:53.519 --> 00:40:54.059 Amen. 00:40:54.059 --> 00:40:54.200 Amen. 00:40:54.320 --> 00:40:54.440 Amen. 00:40:54.440 --> 00:40:55.059 Amen. 00:40:55.160 --> 00:40:55.220 Amen. 00:40:55.220 --> 00:40:55.500 Amen. 00:40:55.500 --> 00:40:56.140 Amen. 00:40:58.240 --> 00:40:58.960 Amen.