You are listening to a message from Southwood Presbyterian Church in Huntsville, Alabama.
Our passion is to experience and express grace.
Join us.
This recording is a fresh recording of this sermon due to a technical glitch during our
service on Sunday.
I hope you'll pick up one of these pew cards about the summer of one another and do be
praying with us about how you can lean into that together as we're hoping to both learn
and experience together the Holy Spirit shaping us into a gospel community, a community of
people bound together by the work of Jesus, transformed together by the grace of Jesus,
and sent out together on the mission of Jesus.
That mission is where we started last week, talking about the purpose for which God has
made us His people, to declare and demonstrate God's glory and grace here and everywhere.
God answers the loneliness of this world with the life-giving relationships of His church.
So now as we dive into what those relationships are to look like, how we relate to one another
in this body, I want to begin this morning with a bit of an extended introduction about our
problem of loneliness.
This will be addressed in today's passage as well as throughout the summer as we talk about these
one another passages.
Did you know there will be a lonely person in your next conversation?
Statistically speaking, when you're at the office tomorrow and run into a co-worker,
one of you is regularly lonely.
When you're talking with a couple of friends at the pool tonight, one of them is probably
lonely.
A huge study of Americans last year from Cigna reveals nearly half of us sometimes or always
feel lonely, left out.
And every time a study comes out, the statistics on loneliness just get worse.
You've probably heard by now of a loneliness epidemic.
It's becoming a fairly common medical term.
Many studies showing that the health effects of loneliness are similar to smoking 15 cigarettes
a day.
This led former U.S.
Surgeon General Vivek Murthy to say,
During my years caring for patients, the most common pathology I saw was not heart disease
or diabetes.
It was loneliness.
And it's this epidemic that led British Prime Minister Theresa May last year to create a senior
level position in her government called Minister of Loneliness.
And to seek ways to address this growing problem where there's over 9 million British people often
or always lonely.
And she said,
For far too many people, loneliness is the sad reality of modern life.
We are a society that's bought the lie that happiness is an individual accomplishment.
It's what New York Times columnist David Brooks says.
He writes,
If I can have just one more victory, lose 15 pounds, or get better at meditation, then I
will be happy.
But people looking back on their lives from their deathbeds tell us that happiness is found
amid thick and loving relationships.
It's found by defeating self-sufficiency for a state of mutual dependence.
It's easy to say you live for relationships, but it's very hard to do.
It's hard to see other people in all their complexity.
It's hard to communicate from your depths, not your shallows.
It's hard to stop performing.
Brooks is right, isn't he?
We've bought the lie of self-sufficiency in our culture of individualism.
Where participation in non-profit community organizations, religious institutions, parent-teacher associations,
anything with a group is rapidly declining.
In fact, from 1980 to 2000, there was a 33% decline in family dinners.
The rate of having others in our homes dropped nearly in half in that time, and the decline continues.
According to these statistics, many of you won't be surprised by these statistics,
because you felt this loneliness.
No one gets me.
No one really knows me.
No one understands me.
See, it's not merely physical isolation where there literally is no one with you.
This loneliness is more relational, emotional.
People are lonely in all sorts of places with other people around them.
You may be lonely in a marriage, on a college campus, in a nursing home, amidst a busy office,
with a 90-day snap streak, while surrounded by kids.
It's easy to be alone in a room full of people if no one really knows or understands or gets me.
So what that means is that it is easy to be alone right here.
In this room full of people, it's actually quite easy to be alone.
And loneliness is often true and actually quite acutely felt at church.
My awareness of the loneliness is heightened by the fact there are so many people around,
but no one who understands me.
No meaningful relational connection.
I almost started this sermon with a video like the ones you've seen on the news,
where the victims are blacked out, silhouetted to conceal their identity,
so they can tell their story in their own words, but you don't know who they are.
And I thought about having several Southwood members tell of how they feel lonely at church.
I decided that was a bit melodramatic, and you would believe me if I told you some of the stories myself.
I've talked with people here who've said things like this to me.
I love this church, but I just don't have any really good friends here.
I'm not sure there's anyone who really gets me.
Or they've said, we used to feel so connected here at Southwood,
but so many of our friends have left over the years,
and we're having a hard time finding our place now.
Or, we found this church to be one of the friendliest we've ever visited,
but after being here a couple years,
we're struggling to develop deep connections and meaningful relationships.
I don't say these things to shame us.
I tell you these stories as a reminder of how much we specifically need God's answers to our loneliness.
It's not an epidemic that's out there somewhere where other people are lonely.
It's a struggle right here in this room, in this community.
If you don't feel it, others around you do.
When you have a conversation in the hallway after church, one of you is likely lonely.
What's even worse if you read about loneliness is the answers that many offer.
I won't bore you with all the prescriptions,
but one from a prominent psychiatrist stuck out because it reveals our blindness in this.
Her answer to the loneliness and isolation you feel,
and I quote,
befriend yourself.
Thankfully, God answers our loneliness.
In fact, we're only learning these days more about what He has seen from the beginning.
It is not good for man to be alone.
He created us in His image,
the image of the triune God, Father, Son, Holy Spirit,
and perfect relationship.
He created us as relational beings.
So when He looks at His good, good, very good creation and says,
it's not good for man to be alone,
that's a relational status, not a marital status.
And yes, God gives Himself in relationship,
walking and talking with the man,
but He also wants the man to have another human,
a woman, a friend, a companion like Him.
So when mankind falls and sin breaks our relationship with God,
and our relationship with each other,
God answers that broken relationship,
that lonely isolation,
by sending His Son to redeem
and to institute not merely individuals who know God
and have relationship with Him,
but even more than that,
a church, a family,
a community shaped by the gospel.
God answers the broken loneliness of this world,
yours and mine,
with gospel community.
And He tells us what the relationships in that community
ought to look like.
That's the backdrop from the Garden of Eden
to today,
of God telling us about one anothering.
This morning, take a Bible,
turn to 1 John chapter 4,
and we will start with the most common
of the one another's in the New Testament,
love one another.
If you've got your Bible,
this is a great example this morning
of a time where the best place
for you to get distracted during the sermon
is these verses all around,
the ones we're going to read.
It's why I want you to have a Bible in your hands.
If you get distracted,
1 John 3, 1 John 4,
the whole chapter,
they're talking about these same things.
So you can read more about it there.
But this morning,
we're going to read 1 John 4,
starting at verse 7.
This is God's Word.
Beloved, let us love one another.
For love is from God,
and whoever loves has been born of God
and knows God.
Anyone who does not love does not know God,
because God is love.
In this, the love of God was made manifest among us,
that God sent His only Son into the world
so that we might live through Him.
And this is love,
not that we have loved God,
but that He loved us
and sent His Son to be the propitiation,
the atoning sacrifice
for our sins.
Beloved, if God so loved us,
we also ought to love one another.
Father, let's pray.
Father, we thank You for Your Word,
and we ask for Your help
that You would not only teach us,
but by Your Spirit
that You would transform and mold our hearts
that we might know Your love
and show Your love to others.
In Jesus' name,
Amen.
Let us love one another.
We ought to love one another.
In many ways,
when we talk about loving one another,
we're talking about the foundation
of the relationships God calls us into
in His church.
Many of these one another's
that we'll be talking about
build off of this one
and live it out
in different situations of life.
As I've read through this
and other passages
where God commands us
to love one another,
I've written this working description
of love for us.
Three parts.
It's deeply felt value
moving toward one another
in sacrificial action.
deeply felt value.
In other words,
love involves our emotions,
feeling something toward someone else, right?
We're told to love one another deeply
and earnestly
and from the heart,
genuinely finding someone else
significant and valuable
in themselves.
Where is that value going to come from
when you don't really like someone
different from you?
We'll see that as we go.
But something's got to happen
if we're going to love them
from the heart.
Of course,
it's a feeling
that leads also to actions.
Sacrificial action.
The love God felt
led Him to give, right?
God so loved the world
that He gave.
That love here is a verb.
That love looks like something,
John says.
And what it looks like
is sending His Son
into the world
that we might live
through Him.
The agape love,
that's the word John uses
throughout this passage for love,
is both God's love
and our love.
Same word
over and over.
For John,
it's this consistently active,
even condescending love
that is,
it's tangible
and for the good
of someone else
because the lover
places value upon them
even when it's not deserved.
Even when bending down
to reach them.
And so as God does,
love acts in costly,
sacrificial ways
for the good of the other.
It's the way God has loved us
and the way we are to love
one another.
Not just feeling it,
but showing it.
You know what this is like.
Some of you are married
to someone like me
who says,
I love you a lot.
Maybe too often.
And sometimes,
when that love
is not being demonstrated
by my thoughtful action,
it's even frustrating
to be told
that that feeling is there.
See,
it's missing something
when I stand next
to an overgrown yard
and while watching
the football game,
tell my wife,
I love her.
You might feel like saying
even,
no way,
don't tell me that again
until I can see it.
Until you show me.
And at the same time,
most of us
wouldn't feel
very loved
by a friend or spouse
who did all of the things
we expected dutifully,
checked off all the lists,
but claimed to feel
nothing at all for us.
You see my list
of completed projects?
I love her.
No.
You're always
disrespectful
and constantly cold
and completely uncaring
toward her.
No,
that's not love.
Love is deeply felt value
combined with
sacrificial action.
They go together
and even feed each other,
don't they?
Significantly,
those two things happen
as love moves towards another
with those feelings and actions.
See,
this is where you'll notice
that love is a verb
with an object
where our call
is to move
into relationship,
not just generically
to love.
We're not just told
love,
love generally.
No,
love God,
love neighbor,
love enemies,
love brothers and sisters,
love,
in this case,
one another.
In our passage,
particularly,
love those
within the family of God.
Within your church family,
there must be
someone whose life
you are entering
with your love.
You're engaging
in relationship,
removing their aloneness
as you bend towards them.
Love pushes you
toward one another
because you value them.
You're willing to sacrifice
for them
in a relationship
where you even pay the price
to enter in,
to understand someone
different from you.
We talk about being driven
by relationships
and our core commitments
here at Southwood.
We say we genuinely love people
and are committed
to developing
life-giving relationships
inside and outside the church.
These relationships
with others
created in God's image
are a reflection
of the relational nature
of the Trinity.
And we share
the heart of God
when we put others
before ourselves
and are willing
to share our lives
with them.
Sounds good,
but it's fair to ask,
do we really love people
or are we just friendly
on Sunday mornings?
Do we put legs
on our love
in one another's lives?
Do we really find
ourselves and others
pulled out
of lonely isolation
into true community?
Now hear me,
I'm not down
on Southwood here.
Y'all love well
so often
and love my family
so well.
But going deeper
is hard,
isn't it?
And even when we do well,
when God commends
a church for its love,
the command is typically
love more and more.
Don't stop loving.
Continue to overflow
with love
toward one another.
Don't stop.
There's always room
to grow
in this vital area.
Tertullian writes
that it was said
of Christians
in the first couple centuries,
see how they love
one another.
They are even willing
to die
for one another.
We've celebrated
this week
many who loved
like that
75 years ago
on D-Day
and we've marveled
at how hard
that kind
of sacrificial love
must be.
It's hard.
It requires a lot.
I mean,
I don't think
I've ever seen
anyone die
for someone else
during a worship service
here in this room.
True love
that removes loneliness
doesn't happen
during the meet and greet time.
It may start there,
but it doesn't end there.
To do what God
is calling us to here
involves intentional,
personal sacrifice
that can only happen
when I've entered
into someone's life
in relationship,
beginning to learn
who they are,
how I can show love
to them particularly.
It's why you'll hear us
say over and over
this summer
we want everyone
at Southwood
in a small group
and or a connect community.
Those are not
the only places
loneliness can be put to death
where I like to say
loneliness goes to die.
They're not the only places
that happens,
but they're good steps
toward knowing
and being known
in relationship.
We can't say as a church
that we love
our homebound members
if we don't make time
to visit them.
We can't say as a church
that we love youth
if we don't make a priority
of leading a small group
for them,
showing up in their lives
consistently.
Maybe that's the small group
you should be in this fall.
We can't say as a church
that we love families
if we don't spend
enough time listening
to understand
why the middle-aged couple
in the hallway
seems sad
or tired.
Are they struggling
in their marriage
with their kids?
Something else?
Do you even know?
I didn't say loving
one another
would be comfortable
or easy.
Neither did God.
In fact,
he said it would be costly.
In a gospel community,
you'll have to love
plenty of people
that you wouldn't put
on your own list
who are not easy
for you to love.
The value,
valuing the other
is the key.
I value myself,
but we must value
one another
because you won't move
toward another
with sacrificial action
unless you actually
value them.
And often,
unfortunately,
we don't.
You've said it before
of someone.
We don't click.
He's just awkward.
She's so difficult
or condescending.
And those things
may be true,
but here's the beauty
of love
in God's family.
They may be difficult
for you to love,
but God loves him.
But she is valuable,
precious to God.
God sent his son
and Jesus gave
his precious blood
for that one
who's hard
for you to love.
Her sins
that you can hardly stand
to put up with
that drive you crazy.
Jesus cares about them
and gave his precious blood
for those sins.
How dare we value
someone less
than God does?
How dare we say
he's not worth
the trouble
to me?
What does love
look like,
pastor?
I want to be loving,
but it's so hard.
How do I do that?
Where does it come from?
Y'all,
it is hard,
but it's not
complicated.
We love
because he first
loved us.
God sent his own son
into the world
that we might live
through him.
And this is love
that God paid a price
that we can't even imagine
to move toward
you and me
and toward every one
of your brothers and sisters
and bring us
into a family together
where that love
defines our relationship.
Southwood,
if God so loved us,
we also ought
to love
one another.
I want to challenge you
to put a face
on love today,
to put a name
on love,
make it personal.
I want you to just
pick one person,
pick now
or pray about it
this afternoon,
perhaps,
one person
to move toward
in one way
this summer.
I'll take him
to lunch,
I'll visit her
and ask her
to share her story,
I'll spend time
with that young person
or that old person.
Bonus points
if you pick someone
you struggle to value
and love already.
But can you just imagine
with me for a minute,
imagine what that would do
to our community
if every one of us
entered thoughtfully,
even sacrificially,
into the life
of one other person
this summer.
Statistically speaking,
we'd remove
a lot of aloneness.
A lot of loneliness
would be gone.
Practically speaking,
we would see a network
of life-giving relationships
that would multiply
in our community.
Missionally speaking,
people in our community,
those around us,
the watching world,
would see the reality
of the love of God
and the compelling worth
of a God
who loves us
and calls us
to love
and live
for Him.
I dream
of homebound members
tired
from so many visits
and sending us
to their neighbors
at the nursing home
because they're so exhausted
by so many of us
showing up.
I dream of young people
outnumbered
by the adults
who show up
to love them,
having to send some adults
to another room
to pray
so the room they're in
still feels like youth group.
I dream of marriages
where small group friends
see struggles
before you do
and offer so much support
that you don't despair
even in those times
where marriage
is really hard
because you're so supported
you're not alone.
Each Sunday
all summer
we're going to get
to see a different aspect
of what this looks like
and how God teaches us
to love and relate
to each other.
He's going to give us
another brush
as it were
in relationship
with one another
to paint
one more beautiful stroke
on the picture
of gospel community.
That picture
that Jesus started painting
when he painted you and me
into the picture
with his own blood.
A picture in fact
that will be perfected
as God lives with us
and we live with him
and each other forever, right?
There ain't no darkness
strong enough
that could tear you out
from my heart.
There ain't no strength
that's strong enough
that could tear
this love apart.
No, I won't
let you go.
Do you hear Jesus
saying that
to you this morning?
Will you say it
to someone else?
Let's pray.
Father,
teach us,
mold us,
change us
into the kind of
community
that you would have us
to be.
Overwhelm us
with the love of Jesus.
Give us a fresh glimpse
of your love for us
and your love
for others
in our family
that we might love
as you love.
We ask in Jesus' name.
Amen.
We welcome our children
and their parents
back in
to celebrate
the Lord's Supper
with us this morning.
As they come,
I want to remind you
of some really good news.
Someone
who knows you
completely
longs to be with you.
Someone who knows
the worst about you
chooses
to love you
and will never stop.
Jesus said this
to his disciples.
Jesus,
on the night
that he was betrayed,
took bread
and he broke it
and gave it
to his disciples
as I'm ministering
in his name.
Give this bread
to you.
He said,
take,
eat,
this is my body
broken for you.
Do this
in remembrance
of me.
In the same way,
after supper,
he took the cup
and said,
this cup is the new covenant
in my blood
shed for many
for the forgiveness
of sins.
Drink from it,
all of you.
Whenever you eat
this bread
and drink this cup,
you proclaim
his death,
his great demonstration
of his love
until he comes.
This is love.
Not that we loved God,
but that he loved us
and sent his son
as the atoning sacrifice
for our sins.
God demonstrates
his own love
in that while we were
yet sinners,
Christ died for us.
If you've never known
and tasted
and trusted love
like that,
you need to meet Jesus.
His love
is awesome
and is always
like that.
We'd love to tell you
more about it.
We'd encourage you
not to come to this table
this morning,
but to come and talk
with us about Jesus.
We'd love to talk
and pray with you
about him.
But if you've tasted
that love,
you're a part of
Christ's church
in any local body,
not just this one.
Come,
feast with us
and celebrate
the love
that will never
let us go,
that God gives
to us
with one another.
Let's pray.
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