Okay, today I'm going to talk about repenting from victim mentality.
! Repenting from victim mentality.
! I'm going to start off with a verse from John chapter 7.
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Asked them, hey, am I going to heaven?
You know, they were searched and they were immediately held accountable.
And they had no excuses.
That's what being around Jesus is like.
And I just thought about that.
Like, what is it to have a church where, you know, Jesus says he's here with us for his body.
He lives and dwells in the temple through the Holy Spirit.
So it should be like that, you know.
I don't know if any of you who've read Chronicles of Narnia, I love all the scenes with Aslan because it's exactly like this.
I think C.S. Lewis just nails it.
Just this, he immediately calls you to account.
If you start complaining about other people, he more or less is like, what's that to you?
You know.
And there's immediately just this sense of, oh, it's Aslan.
My mouth is shut.
And yeah, I am accountable.
And I've been distracted by a bunch of other things that are preventing me to see that I'm accountable.
And then you talk to me and now I see it.
And that's what it should be like in Christ's church.
You know.
He sent the ministry of the Holy Spirit for the upbuilding.
We speak the truth of love to the building up of the church that we might grow up into Jesus in all things.
And part of that is being held accountable.
And there's, I don't know if this is the best term for it, but I think the opposite of being held accountable is having a victim mentality.
Holding on to this thing that disperses my accountability among a bunch of other people.
And that's all I want to talk about today.
So victim mentality.
Repenting from victim mentality.
First, what is victim mentality?
So I'll look at two sources.
I'm going to look at Grok, which is an AI thing through Twitter.
For those of you who like AI, I enjoy it.
I did not write my sermon in AI, but I did get a definition for this.
And then the Bible.
Okay, so we're going to major on the Bible, but we're going to minor on this definition.
We're going to start off with this one because it's really good.
So Grok.
Grok.
I asked Grok, what is victim mentality?
Grok says victim mentality is, the definition of victim mentality is,
a psychological mindset where an individual consistently perceives themselves as the victim of circumstances.
As a victim of other people's actions.
As a victim of external events.
Often feeling powerless to change their situation.
It involves a persistent belief that one is unfairly treated, targeted, or unable to influence their life outcomes.
Leading to a cycle of self-pity, blame, and avoidance of personal responsibility.
This is awesome.
I love it.
It's great.
Sounds good.
We'll see if the Bible corroborates this, but, you know, sounds good so far.
Key characteristics.
These are some indicators.
This is characteristics that typify someone who has a victim mentality.
Number one, external blame.
They often point fingers at others or outside events for their problems.
Like saying, everyone's out to get me, instead of looking at their own actions.
Number two, a sense of powerlessness.
They feel like they have no control over what happens to them as if they're stuck and they can't make things better.
Self-pity.
They focus a lot on their struggles.
Sometimes making them seem worse than they are, which keeps them feeling like a victim.
Avoidance of responsibility.
Number four, they avoid owning up to their mistakes and prefer to say someone or something else caused their issues.
Defensiveness.
When someone gives them feedback, they might take it personally.
Get upset or see it as an attack instead of a chance to grow.
Number six, entitlement.
They may think they deserve extra sympathy or help from others because of their hardships.
Number seven, pessimism.
They tend to expect the worst, like thinking things will always go wrong or people will let them down.
Number eight, repetition of negative patterns.
They often end up in situations where they feel mistreated or taken advantage of as their mindset keeps pulling them into these cycles.
So all these characteristics, external blame, sense of powerlessness, self-pity, avoidance of responsibility, defensiveness, entitlement, pessimism.
Man, it happens a lot.
But everywhere they go, somehow they're done wrong and it ain't their fault.
Okay?
That's what someone who has a victim mentality acts like.
So if none of these are familiar to you, you need to go and have like a humility check.
Like this is convicting to me categorically on every single one of these.
And it should be convicting to us because this is baked into our Adamic, sinful nature, which we'll read about when we get to the Bible's definitions.
So that's what Grok says.
Okay?
Set that aside.
People make things up.
You know, what does the Bible have to say?
Maybe that's all wrong.
All right?
So now we're going to pivot to the Bible, see what the Bible has to say about victim mentality.
I think there's two stories.
I want to read two stories.
I think they're a good example of this.
The first is Adam and Eve.
Genesis chapter 3, verses 9 through 13.
The context for this is God had commanded Adam to not eat the tree of knowledge of good and evil.
He forms Eve after this.
And you know the story.
They fall into sin.
They eat it.
They eat the apple.
Okay?
And so now they're in a state of sin.
And God's following up on it.
This is the context for this.
Verse 9.
But the Lord God called to the man and said to him, where are you?
And he said, Adam is hiding, by the way.
He'd made fig leaves for himself and he was covering himself up because he realized he was naked.
Him and his wife gloom.
And they're hiding from God.
All right?
And Adam said, I heard the sound of you in the garden and I was afraid because I was naked and I hid myself.
And God said, who told you that you were naked?
Have you eaten of the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?
The man said, the woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me the fruit of the tree and I ate it.
Then the Lord God said to the woman, what is this that you have done?
And the woman said, the serpent deceived me and I ate.
So, do any of these sound familiar?
External blame.
It's God.
You gave me this woman.
Each other.
You know.
The devil.
The devil made me do it.
Technically, those are all true.
See, that's the problem with this mentality is it takes facts, true things,
and warps them to defend you from your ownership of your own sin.
Sense of powerlessness.
She gave me the fruit and I ate.
I mean, what's it supposed to do?
She gave it to me, you know.
The serpent deceived me and I ate.
I just, I couldn't help it, you know.
I'm a woman, right?
I know that's offensive, but this is, this is,
this is the narratives we run, you know.
I mean, Paul says it.
He says, hey, listen, the reason women are not to hold a role of authority in the church
is because Eve was deceived and the man wasn't deceived.
He did it knowingly, okay?
He's more culpable.
That's a fact.
She's alluding to this right off the very beginning.
Does it absolve her of her moral agency?
No.
She's accountable.
Anyway, self-pity.
Avoidance of responsibility.
They're immediately hiding, okay?
They're trying to hide from God.
They don't want to, you know,
they don't want to have this conversation that's about to happen.
Defensiveness.
God just asked, did you do it?
You realize that they didn't even,
they didn't just say yes.
They gave a case.
They started off with a case.
Yeah, the woman you gave me, you know,
she gave it to me and I ate it.
The serpent deceived me and I ate it.
He just said, did you do it?
Accountability just says yes.
You know, they didn't do that.
Blame shifting, hiding.
Defensiveness.
Entitlement.
They're garnering sympathy.
You gave me this, you know, woman.
You know how possible she is.
Give me fruit, you know, like,
it's just immediately.
It's the devil.
He's the deceiver.
Like, who could stand in the presence of the deceiver like that?
Of course I've got to see, you know, entitlement.
So I think these characteristics are pretty clear.
They're here.
Pessimism.
You know, they have a sense of foreboding,
driven by their guilt.
They're hiding from God.
Something bad's going to happen.
Guilt makes that happen.
You have a pessimistic outlook always.
You probably are loaded down with guilt.
It clouds everything.
Okay?
Repetition of negative patterns.
You see they had one sin,
and then they started stacking them all.
Okay?
They didn't stop the sinning.
It's blaming people.
It's hiding.
It's trying self-righteously to make some garments for yourself
and clothe yourself.
You know, they're just,
they're immediately in a cycle.
You know?
So anyway, I think those are all the Grok attributes, I guess,
and they seem pretty substantial.
You know, they're substantiated by this.
So seems to shake out here.
There's two more, though, that jumped out to me here.
I think this is where we start to see how Christian the Bible is.
The world doesn't think about certain things that God does.
You see they did some other things, too.
They started making self-righteous sacrifices.
They immediately started trying to deal with their sin and their guilt
with their own effort.
They make fig leaves,
try to cover themselves.
That's not in the Grok definition,
but I think it fits.
Okay?
That fits with how we are.
When we're locked in a cycle of victimhood,
you can see it play out like that.
We'll talk about that more later.
And then no conviction of sin.
You see, there is no conviction of sin.
They were sorry.
They were admitting it.
No.
There's no conviction of sin.
They hated the consequences.
They got caught.
They didn't hate the sin.
They hated that they got caught,
and they were trying to get out somehow of the consequences
by blaming other people,
throwing other people under the bus.
All right.
It's example number one.
Example number two.
Jesus' parable of the minas or the minas.
I don't know how to pronounce it,
but I'll call it minas.
Luke 19, verses 12 through 27.
He said,
This is Jesus speaking.
A nobleman went into a far country
to receive for himself a kingdom
and then return.
Calling ten of his servants,
he gave them ten minas
and said to them,
Engage in business until I come.
But his citizens hated him
and sent a delegation after him,
saying,
We do not want this man to reign over us.
When he returned,
having received the kingdom,
he ordered these servants
to whom he had given the money
to be called to him
that he might know
what they had gained by doing business.
The first came before him,
saying,
Lord,
your mina has made ten minas more.
And he said to him,
Well done,
good servant,
because you've been faithful
in very little.
You shall have authority
over ten cities.
And the second came,
saying,
Lord,
your mina has made five minas.
And he said to him,
And you are to be over five cities.
And then another came,
saying,
Lord,
here is your mina,
which I have laid away
in a handkerchief.
For I was afraid of you,
because you are a severe man.
You take what you did not deposit
and you reap what you did not sow.
And the master said to him,
I will condemn you
with your own words,
you wicked servant.
You knew that I was a severe man
taking what I did not deposit
and reaping what I did not sow.
Why then did you not put my money
in the bank
and at my coming
I might have collected it
with interest?
And he said to those who stood by,
Take the mina from him
and give it to the one
who has the ten minas.
And they said to him,
Lord,
he has ten minas.
You can see this kind of
humanistic,
like,
fairness mentality
creeping here.
It's just like,
what?
You're going to give this
to the one who has the most?
It's just like,
I mean,
share,
you know?
It's not the way the Lord works.
I tell you,
why?
Why does he do that?
I tell you that everyone
who has,
more will be given.
Okay?
But from the one
who has not,
even what he has
will be taken away.
But as for these enemies
of mine,
who did not want me
to reign over them,
bring them here
and slaughter them before me.
Whew,
man.
That is a brutal story.
There's a lot to say
about that principle.
I'm just going to say
this as an aside.
God is not like we are.
He's not a humanist.
He doesn't have
this weird sense
of fairness.
He has,
the economy
in his kingdom
is faithfulness.
If you are faithful
with little,
you will get more.
And if you are faithful
with that,
you will get more.
You know who God
gives stuff to?
People who've been
faithful with much.
He has no
quals
not giving you anything
if you're not faithful
with it.
Okay?
So,
setting that aside,
just,
you know,
this principle is all
over scripture.
I think it bears mentioning.
Okay,
but anyway,
back to the attributes
of,
the grok attributes
of victim mentality.
We have them here.
External blame.
Servant blames his master
for his failure.
It's because you're
such a hard guy.
Like,
who could invest
with a guy like you?
Sense of powerlessness.
He won't accept
that he has the ability
to go grow that investment.
You know?
It's magic.
I don't know all this,
you know,
investment stuff.
It's too risky,
you know?
I'm just gonna.
Self-pity.
He tries to elicit sympathy
for his disobedience.
Avoids responsibility.
He blames his master.
Again,
blame shifting.
He doesn't own
his own sinful fear
of failure.
He blames his master.
You're just too scary,
you know?
Entitlement.
Tries to get sympathy
by accusing his master
of being too hard.
Pessimism.
He just assumes
from the outset
it's not gonna go well
for him,
okay?
So you have it all there.
Every single one
of those things.
And then you have
the two extra,
the Bible ones,
right?
Self-righteous sacrifices.
Right?
I did the thing.
I hid the talent.
He thought that was
his bare minimum.
He's being a good boy.
I did what you said.
I took care of it.
Like,
don't you,
aren't you gonna accept me?
At least I didn't lose it,
right?
No.
And no conviction of sin.
Zero ownership.
Okay?
Blaming his master.
So there it is.
So anyway,
I think the Grok,
the Grok list
is a pretty good list.
It misses some stuff
because it's not,
it doesn't have a sense
of the need for atonement.
It doesn't have the sense
of the need for conviction
and repentance.
You know,
the rest of the Grok
overview of it,
you know,
had,
you know,
I think the worldly,
there's a lot of worldly tools
that are good at diagnosing problems,
but they have horrible solutions.
Its solution is horrible.
You know,
just like counseling and therapy
for,
you know,
how you've grown up
and how,
you know,
your parents messed you up
and stuff.
And sure,
all that stuff happens,
but the Bible has a much more
foundational problem assessment.
Sinner.
You need salvation.
It's a big problem.
It's so big,
Jesus had to come down
from heaven
and he had to fix it for you.
Okay.
It's a big one.
So,
anyway,
I'm going to
take a little time here
and just walk through
a few other attributes.
These are things
that stood out to me
just reading the Bible,
just kind of meditating on this.
So,
what does victim mentality
look like in the Bible
from these stories?
It's lack of repentance.
You can just say
as simple as that.
Victim mentality,
a pervasive victim mindset,
it just means
you haven't repented.
Okay.
That's all it means.
Lack of repentance.
It's an indication
that you are not
accepting responsibility
for your own sin.
And you have a really
complicated set of behaviors
that take that responsibility
that the Holy Spirit
is trying to give you
and you're farming it out.
You're putting it
on your circumstances
and people
and, you know,
all that kind of stuff
we just talked about.
It means you haven't repented.
Okay.
In other words,
I'm going to call this
victim mentality unrepentance.
They're synonyms,
but
the victim mentality
is just a helpful way
of thinking about it.
Okay.
Because we know
we can say,
oh, yeah,
I totally do that.
You say,
I don't think you've repented.
I've repented
from all known sin.
What are you talking about?
You say,
you're living in a victim mentality.
It's like,
well, yeah,
but you know,
makes sense.
My circumstances are really hard.
You would too, right?
No.
No,
they're the same thing.
Okay.
We're going to talk about why
in a little bit.
So,
some evidences
of victim mentality.
It's not going to,
doing all of the proof text
for this would take way too long,
so I'm just going to burn through these.
If you think these,
if you have a problem
with any of these,
I encourage you
to search it out
in the scriptures
and see if it's true.
Okay.
And I do have proof text
for some of these,
but I have 18 evidences
of victim mentality
unrepentance.
Okay.
Number one,
this is the easy one.
You avoid responsibility
for sin.
It's somebody else's fault.
Yeah,
yeah,
it's sin,
but so and so.
My wife made me do it.
I was stressed out at work.
I was tired.
Whatever.
You know.
Number two,
blame shifting,
which is basically
the outworking
of not taking responsibility
for sin.
It's,
I'm not taking responsibility
for sin
and this is what I do about it.
Okay.
It's blaming God,
blaming others,
blaming circumstances.
God did not make you sin.
Okay.
The Bible is very clear about this.
Is there a mystery there?
God's sovereign?
Yes.
But the Bible,
there are mysterious things
that are not plain
and then there are plain things
that are plain
and this is one of the plain things
that are plain.
God cannot be tempted with evil
nor does he tempt anyone
but each man is led astray
when he's tempted.
Okay.
It's you.
Can't shift the blame on God.
God didn't make you sin.
Other people didn't make you sin either.
What if they're super bad other people?
What if they're extremely provocative?
They can't make you sin.
They can't.
It's impossible.
No one can make you sin.
You are the only one
who makes you sin
according to the Bible.
Blaming circumstances.
Life's too hard.
Have you seen how much I got on my plate?
Surely it's reasonable
that I can blow out.
Look at the Son of God.
Okay.
Tempted in every way
like we are
says in the news
yet without sin.
Okay.
I'm going to move through these
a little quicker.
Easily offended.
What is that?
What do you mean easily offended?
How is that a sign of victim mentality?
Some of these are
like directly victim mentality things
and other things are like
things you do
when you have victim mentality
that might not be that obvious.
I think getting offended
is one of them.
On two points.
One is
you get offended at people
for not helping you
with your responsibilities
because you're avoiding it.
Okay.
You don't want to do
that hard thing
and so you want
other people to help you do it
and you get mad at them
when they don't.
Even though it's totally illegal.
It's yours.
God gave you to do that thing.
Okay.
Getting offended
at people who point out your sin
because you already have a case
that you're not a sinner.
How dare you say otherwise?
I'm offended at you.
Okay.
Because you have a victim mentality.
Number four.
Makes excuses for other people's sins
because you're making excuses
for your own.
It clouds everything.
Avoids calling people to repent
because you're avoiding it too.
Okay.
Divisive gossiping.
I think this is an interesting one
that occurred to me
because this is me.
I've done this.
And the specific reason
I think how these are connected is
victims feel they have a right to gossip
because they've been done wrong.
That person doesn't deserve
a direct, loving, frank confrontation
because they've done me wrong.
So I now have a license to go
say all kinds of things about them
behind their back.
Victim mentality.
Taking up offenses for others.
This is where you agree
with another sinner's
controversy with God
or other people
because you have your own
controversy going on.
Okay.
So you're primed and ready
to take up an offense
as soon as you hear about it.
This especially shows up.
This is very interesting
in church discipline situations.
You know,
if you have any help
in this church,
we would plan to have
a larger church.
And it was very interesting
to see
in a few instances
of church discipline,
this flares up immediately.
And it's interesting
to see the people
who get super offended
by faithful practice
of Matthew 18's
church discipline.
And they immediately
take an underdog position
and assume
that that person's
being wronged.
And they're not.
It's telling.
It's telling about
what that person's lifestyle,
what their relationship
with the Lord is like.
They got a backlog
of justification
for why they're not
in the wrong.
And so when they see
someone held to an account
for being in the wrong,
it's like,
oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hold the phone.
That's terrifying
because they think
it might happen to me.
If I go on
in unrepentance,
what might happen to me?
Anyway,
that's an interesting one.
Can't handle
being misunderstood.
Because you're
justifying yourself
rather than resting
in Christ's justification.
If Jesus is my righteousness,
I don't need it
for being denied.
Okay?
But if I got this
victim mentality narrative,
I just got this whole case
I've been building
for why I'm right.
If you,
if you,
if you're accusing me
of something
and it seems to be
because you don't understand me,
it's just,
I can't handle that.
You have to understand
my case, right?
It's a beautiful case.
I've been working
on it for years.
Okay.
Rescue mentality
because you're waiting
for someone to rescue you,
not taking responsibility
for your own actions
so it just bleeds over
into other areas
of your life.
Unwillingness
to call people
to take responsibility
for themselves
because if you're a victim,
everyone else is too.
Right?
You already talked
about controversies.
complaining
because you have
a case against,
you have a case against God
that your circumstances
are just too hard
to not sin.
So it comes out
in complaining.
Okay.
Ministry mindset.
This is kind of
interesting one.
I was just thinking about
this doesn't seem
to be obvious.
Why would a ministry mindset
just getting
your sense of identity
through service
and ministry work,
why would this be connected
to this victim mentality?
It's a way of sacrificing.
You know,
you're trying to pay God off.
Yeah,
you got this controversy
over here with God,
between you and God,
but man,
I just,
I can't accept that
that's what God says
in my life,
so I'm going to try
to pay for it
by doing a whole bunch
of work for the Lord.
This is where the ministry
mindset comes in.
Doom and gloom
outlook on life.
You don't believe
God is good.
Escapism,
because life is too hard.
Life is too hard,
I have to have
a pressure relief off.
I got to escape
into something.
Envy and jealousy
of others,
gifts,
family,
spouse,
circumstances,
et cetera,
because you feel
like God did you wrong
with your lot in life.
If you just had
what they had,
then I could be
joyful in the Lord,
but I can't.
Insecurity,
because you feel
abandoned by God,
no confidence.
It's a long list.
I didn't know
where I was going
through,
but those are things
that came to mind.
I think there's a lot more.
This is like a tangled web.
This is just,
our victim mentality
is so baked
into our hard code,
we got it right
from our dad,
Adam.
Okay?
He had it,
and all of his kids
have it.
Okay?
So none of us
are above this,
but we need to know about it.
We need to have a category
for what it looks like
so that we can
repent from it.
We can put it off.
Okay?
So,
what does that look like?
What does repentance look like?
These are just a few things.
Repentance is a big deal.
Last stuff you said
about repentance,
I want to point out
a few things.
Number one,
it starts with conviction
by the Holy Spirit.
Jesus says in John 16,
8,
and when he,
referring to the Holy Spirit,
comes,
he will convict the world
concerning sin
and righteousness
and judgment.
Conviction,
it's a synonym
for being convinced.
You're convinced
of something.
You weren't convinced
of something before.
And then the Holy Spirit
had a conversation with you
about some stuff
and all of a sudden,
I'm convinced now.
I thought everyone else
was the problem
and then I had a talk
with Aslan
and now I realize
I'm the problem.
It's me.
There's no one else.
I'm the only one
responsible for my sin,
full stop.
Conviction.
That's what conviction is.
And it's essential.
If you don't have conviction,
then you can't have repentance.
Okay?
Everything else
is just religious games.
Okay?
Just playing with God.
Going through motions,
confessing sin.
This is why
confessing sin
isn't even necessarily
repentance.
Okay?
Have you owned it?
Because you can confess sin.
Yeah, I looked at porn,
but man,
my wife,
she just,
she's been cold and distant.
You know,
what are you going to do?
That's not,
that's not conviction.
So,
so,
what does this conviction
lead into?
It produces a heart
and mindset change
that results in
change behavior.
Matthew 3,
18 through 10,
John the Baptist said,
therefore,
bear fruit in keeping
with repentance
and do not suppose
that you can say to yourselves,
we have Abraham
for our father
or I'm a Christian,
I go to a good church,
you know,
apply this,
rework this in today's language
with, you know,
Christians here.
For I say to you
that from these stones,
God is able to raise up
children in Abraham.
The axe is already laid
at the root of the trees.
Therefore,
every tree that does not
bear good fruit
is cut down
and thrown into the fire.
It's,
it's futile to try
to pay God off
with sacrifices.
He wants repentance
and true conviction
results in heart change
that results in
life change.
It's,
it's,
it's to the extent
where he says
bear fruit,
real actions,
change,
things that happen
and change in your life.
Bear fruit
in keeping with
repentance,
which is the heart thing.
Okay.
So real heart change
produces fruit.
And then
this is an interesting one.
It doesn't stay
just a me God thing,
right?
Repentance.
It turns into
a ministry
of exhorting
others to repent.
And this is the,
this is the kicker here.
And it doesn't commiserate
with their sin anymore.
Okay.
It says,
wait a minute,
that sin was killing me.
And I had to be brought
to a place of accountability
in order to be right with God.
And now I see
their sin is killing them
and they have to be brought
to a place of accountability
to be made right with God.
So I'm not going to commiserate
with their sin anymore.
I'm not going to have long conversations
with other people about,
oh,
how hard their life is
and all the different reasons
why they're,
they needed to sin
and they needed to stay stuck
where they are
because it's poisonous.
It keeps them stuck.
And God had mercy on me
through his word
and through the faithful ministry
of people who didn't care
what I thought about them
and were willing to make me mad.
You know what?
I'm a really hard person
to confront.
Okay.
You pay for it.
My wife has paid for
confronting me with sin before.
So someone loved me so much
that they paid for it
because they love me.
Guess what?
You start being willing
to pay for it too
for other people.
Okay.
Wait a minute.
Okay.
Yeah.
I think a good example.
Oh, there we go.
There we go.
My notes mixed up.
A good example of this is Paul.
Paul was a reviler.
He's a persecutor of the church.
Acts 26, 20.
You know, he gets radically converted
in Acts 26, 20
towards the end of his,
you know, ministry in Acts.
He gives his testimony
of what his ministry
looked like after that.
And he said,
they went declaring,
you know,
through all the world,
I'm just going to summarize that part.
What was he declaring?
That men should repent
and turn to God,
performing deeds
appropriate to repentance.
See, Paul wasn't some Gnostic guy
who's just like,
oh, it's all in the heart, man.
You know,
the outside,
clean the inside of the cup,
the outside,
take care of itself.
Yes, it actually will.
That's why you can say,
repent,
turn to God
and perform deeds
in keeping with repentance
because out of the heart
flow all kinds of things
that are evident to everybody.
You shouldn't be scared of that.
And that was his ministry then.
Paul wasn't ashamed
of this ministry.
I mean,
he paid for it dearly.
He lost the approval
of so many people,
but he loved them faithfully
just like Jesus loved them.
You know,
the world hates you.
When he said,
the world can't hate you,
but it hates me
because I tell them
that their deeds are evil.
When we repent,
we go right on Jesus.
We get to be part of Jesus'
ministry on the earth.
And it's a wonderful thing.
You know,
not everyone will hear it,
but guess what?
When people do,
it's amazing.
You get a new friend.
You get a brother and sister
in the Lord.
It's wonderful.
Last is,
repentance
is essential for salvation.
You can't get around it.
Luke 13,
3 says,
Jesus is speaking to people.
No,
I tell you,
unless you repent,
you will all likewise perish.
Acts 2,
38,
Peter said to them,
repent and be baptized
every one of you
in the name of Jesus Christ
for the forgiveness
of your sins
and you will receive
the gift of the Holy Spirit.
It's essential.
Faith and repentance,
they're two sides
of the same coin.
Okay,
they go together.
So,
let's take it to heart.
I want to share
one example of repentance
from the Bible.
So we have a couple examples
of this victim mentality.
I want to share an example
of the opposite of that.
Real repentance.
What's it look like in practice?
The story of David
after Bathsheba,
after he falls into sin
with Bathsheba,
I think is an awesome one.
I'm not going to read
the whole thing.
If you want to read it later,
it's 2 Samuel 11 and 12.
It would take too long
to read it here.
But I am going to read
Psalm 51,
pieces of Psalm 51,
which is his prayer to God.
When you get insight
into his heart.
I think it's just awesome.
Psalm 51,
have mercy on me,
O God,
according to your steadfast love,
according to your abundant mercy,
blot out my transgressions.
Wash me thoroughly
from my iniquity.
Cleanse me from my sin.
For I know my transgressions
and my sin
is ever before me.
Against you only
have I sinned
and done what is evil
in your sight
so that you may be justified
in your words
and blameless
in your judgment.
Ownership.
Behold,
I was brought forth
in iniquity
and in sin
did my mother conceive me.
Behold,
you delight truth
in the inward being
and you teach me wisdom
in the secret heart.
Purge me with hyssop
and I shall be clean.
Wash me
and I shall be whiter than snow.
I think I'm going to bounce around
and just read a few
of the verses
throughout this
because I'm kind of
running down on time here.
Create in me
a clean heart,
O God,
and renew a right spirit
within me.
Then I will teach
transgressors your ways
and sinners
will turn to you.
For you will not
delight in sacrifice
or I will give it.
You will not be pleased
with the burnt offering.
The sacrifices of God
are a broken spirit,
a broken and contrite heart,
O God,
you will not despise.
Then you will delight
in right sacrifices
and burnt offerings
and whole burnt offerings.
Then bowls will be offered
on your altar.
See the complete contrast
between this
and those other examples before.
A deep conviction of sin,
okay?
He was cut to the heart
and he owned it
and he started off with that.
It's just me.
No one else made me.
It wasn't,
I was real lonely
because, you know,
all my whatever hundred wives,
I don't know how many wives he had.
He has no excuses,
but like,
he could have made an excuse
out of anything
because we are sinful.
We can make an excuse
out of anything.
I was just walking around
my roof and just,
whoa, there she was,
naked, washing.
How could I not?
You know?
He didn't do any
of that kind of stuff.
Before God,
I sinned, Lord.
He says,
I've sinned against you
and you only.
You see,
he owns that this is really
a him God thing,
okay?
Deep conviction of sin.
He blames self
instead of blaming others.
He has this sense of power
to repent from his own sin
instead of a sense
of self-justifying powerlessness.
He owns it.
He comes boldly
before the throne of grace.
He has godly sorrow
instead of self-pity.
He accepts responsibility
instead of avoiding it.
He's open to correction
instead of defensiveness.
He has zero entitlement.
He's not a Debbie Downer.
He has optimism
in the forgiveness
and restoration of God
after repentance,
you know?
This isn't some
woe is me
sort of self-flagellating repentance.
He's talking about
when God restores him,
what he's going to do
and how joyful it's going to be.
He's totally confident.
And then for the biblical categories,
he knows that
acceptable sacrifices
can only follow
after true repentance.
He makes no attempt
to go atone
for his sin
with sacrifices at all.
He knows
he's got something
to do first.
He's got to get right.
Then
he can offer sacrifices.
You see,
when we have a victim mentality,
we flip those.
We try to out-sacrifice
my guilty conscience.
That's bad.
That's disorder.
That's backwards.
We've got to get right with God.
God doesn't care
about all that stuff.
You know who he cares about?
A broken and contrite heart.
A right relationship
with him
through the one sacrifice
that he made
perfectly
for all time,
the Lord Jesus Christ.
He doesn't need your works
because he finished them already.
All of our works
are entering into
the finished work
of Jesus
that's prepared
ahead of time
for us to walk in.
We deny that truth
when we get
into ministry mindset.
We've got to ask ourselves,
we're obsessed
with ministry stuff.
Why?
A lot of ministry stuff's good,
but why?
Why?
Eagerness to restore sinners
in the same way
is the last one.
You see,
he not only is getting
right with God,
he knows
after I'm restored,
I'm going to teach
people about you
and then
sinners will return to you.
I'll teach transgressors
your ways.
It's a ministry.
That's why
if we're abdicating
a responsibility
to call people
in our fitness
and says something
about our walk with God,
full stop, okay?
It's not fun
to do this thing.
Nobody said
it was fun,
but it's salvation.
It's good.
Jesus did it,
Paul did it,
and when we're right
with God,
take it on.
We stop commiserating
with people.
It's like a doctor
who knows
their patient has cancer
and is just like
entering into
their pity party
with them
about their cancer
and prescribing
them payments.
It's wicked.
They deal with the cancer,
okay?
And then they'll get healed.
No one likes to hear
they got cancer,
okay?
That's not a fun
conversation ever.
No doctor's like it.
Why do they do it?
It's their job,
it's their responsibility,
and they actually love people.
That's what we need
to be like.
Okay,
so,
that's what repentance
looks like.
It's the complete opposite
of victim mentality.
What David did
after sinning grievously
with Bathsheba
and murdering her husband
and covering it up,
okay?
Like,
it's a great example.
Repentance,
it applies to
any sin
no matter what.
This is the opposite
of victim mentality.
This is what true repentance
looks like.
So,
I have some specific
applications of this
for Christchurch.
Just praying through
our church,
looking at my own life.
I'm on the roster
for some of this stuff,
okay?
So,
I would encourage you,
don't think about
other people.
Think about yourself.
Resist the temptation
to be like,
oh yeah!
Be,
Lord Jesus,
I want to have a conversation
with you right now.
What about me?
Okay?
So,
those are the hardest
things to hear
and our minds
are pre-programmed
to avoid that.
Okay?
We're programmed
to think about
other people.
We're predisposed,
like we've been evading
our whole life.
We've been evading
our responsibility
our whole life.
We're really good at it.
And so,
we need to ask God
for humility.
Lord,
talk to me.
Okay,
so,
here's some things.
Number one,
take responsibility
for your own sin.
God is not responsible
for your sin.
Others are not responsible
for your sin.
you are.
Read James 1,
verse 13 through 17.
Read 1 Corinthians 10, 13.
No temptation
has overtaken you,
such is not common to man.
But God is faithful
and will,
with the temptation,
make a way of escape
so you can bear it.
Is that true?
Yes or no?
If it's true,
you have zero
room to stand on
by saying God's responsible
for your sin
or other people
responsible.
Okay?
You gotta own it.
Number two,
take responsibility
for mission
and discipleship
and instead of expecting
other people
like leaders,
other more sure people,
oh,
they're more mature than me,
they'll take care of that,
to do it for you.
No.
God has given you
a mina
that he's going to give,
call you to account for
and no one else
in the entire world.
Okay?
Don't avoid
the responsibility of that.
Don't get irritated
at other people
because they're not
helping you
with the thing
that he told you to do.
Okay?
That's not partnership.
That's,
anyway,
that's just passing the buck.
Number three,
own your responsibility
for your family,
your children,
your spouse,
your parents.
Don't farm it out
to other people.
It's the same thing.
They're one of your means.
Okay?
Get help,
get partnership,
get prayer,
get counsel,
but own the responsibility
yourself.
The Bible's very clear
about this in divine order.
We have lots of verses
we could talk about that
for a long time.
Next one,
own your responsibility
to the church.
Speak the truth in love.
Submit to authority.
Receive and give
frank correction
instead of passive-aggressively
gossiping.
Like,
we need to own this stuff.
Next one,
own your finances
instead of harboring
a poverty mentality
and depending on others.
Like,
the question is,
is God your provider
or not?
Okay?
Does he own the cattle
on a thousand hills
or whatever or not?
If he does,
let's take that promise
to the bank.
Okay?
Own hospitality.
Who cares if other people
aren't doing it?
Are you doing it?
Are you opening wide
your heart
to other people
and basically
kind of have an amnesia
with respect to how
other people are doing about it?
It's one of the words
of the year,
hospitality.
We're trying to grow
in that this year.
Forget about what other people
are doing.
Just do it yourself.
Right?
Family.
Sorry,
family,
not hospitality.
Thank you.
My wife gave me the look.
Ruthlessly kill excuses.
Discontentment is an excuse.
It's from not getting
your desires met.
Okay?
James 4 is really clear
about this.
Have you learned
the secret of contentment
like Paul?
Paul had Jesus
in a prison
and he was a happy,
happy man.
Why is that not
the case for you?
Same Jesus,
same Savior.
Loneliness and self-pity.
Same thing.
Contentment with Jesus.
Paul was not lonely
in his prison.
He had the Lord Jesus.
Okay?
He was overflowing.
Somehow,
he figured out
how to just be
an overflowing well
of blessing
to Christians
all over the world
alone in prison.
That's God's will for you.
God's got you
in a lonely season of life.
Guess what?
He wants you to overflow
through your relationship
with Jesus.
Lack of obedience.
I got too much
on my plate
to obey God.
Maybe in your own strength,
yes.
Maybe God's loaded you up
so you would not
trust yourself but God.
Okay?
Unwillingness to receive
correction.
We've already talked
about that.
Lack of prayer
and Bible reading.
I think this is just
a Christian practical.
It seems like
one of the first things
to go and the excuse is
my life's just too busy.
I have too much
on my plate.
No, you don't.
Never forever
for the rest of your life
you don't.
Seek first the kingdom
of God
and his righteousness.
All these things
will be added to you.
One thing is needful,
Jesus said,
to sit at my feet
and hear my word.
We always,
as a born again believer
in Jesus,
have time to sit alone
with Jesus
and pray to our Father
through Jesus
to fellowship
with the Holy Spirit
to read his word
and be edified
so that we can edify
other people.
We always do
100% of the time
and he'll protect it.
You know what he said
about Mary?
One thing is needful
and it will not
be taken from her.
God will never
take away your time
to pray
and spend time
with him and his word.
Okay?
So forget about it.
Stop letting that
be an excuse.
Stop escaping.
Jesus says,
in this world
you will have trouble.
Our life is going
to be hard.
But take heart.
I've overcome the world.
Okay?
Yes,
if you're following Jesus
you're going to have
a hard life.
Like,
praise the Lord.
Jesus had a hard life.
And when he comes back
we're going to have
experiential physical rest
from our labors.
We can have spiritual rest
now with a hard life
through his rest.
Stop envying
and comparing yourself
with other people.
Who cares what God
gave them?
Okay?
Stop using that
as an excuse
for your own discontentment.
It's wicked.
Okay?
Put off insecurity.
Don't be an insecure person.
It's almost like this
like almost like a virtue
to be kind of like
insecure.
No.
Does Jesus Christ
the Lord of heaven and earth
live inside of you
or not?
It's a yes or no question.
If he is
he's the same
yesterday and today
and forever
and everything's
under his feet.
All authority
on heaven and earth
has been given to him.
He commands you
to go there forth
and make disciples.
He commands you
to speak the truth
in love.
It's his.
It's his power
and his glory.
In fact
he is glorified
more
when we have people
who are weak.
That's why he picked him.
That's why he picked us.
Cease from your own works
instead of being
a ministry Martha.
Have you entered
God's rest
such that you can relax
and enjoy people
or is everyone
a ministry project to you?
I think this is key.
We're talking about
building family.
This ministry mindset
you can get into it
for so long
we don't even realize
why we can't
enjoy people
and why people
don't enjoy being around us.
That's me.
I've made people
feel so uncomfortable
for so long in my life
because I've treated
everyone like a problem
to solve
and it destroys fellowship.
Okay.
It's evidence
of self-righteous
sacrificing.
I'm trying to
please Jesus
through all my
ministry stuff
and I just can't relax
because I'm not
at rest in the
finished work of Jesus.
You know
encourage people
to take responsibility
for themselves.
This is related
to the call
to repentance.
They call it
take responsibility
for ourselves.
If you're taking
responsibility
for yourself
you encourage
people to take
responsibility
for themselves.
You can't repent
for them.
You can't rescue them.
Some of the
rescuing mindset
comes from.
It's so crazy
how these things
actually show us
what we think
about ourselves.
Rescuers
are people
who feel
like they need
to be rescued.
They're not
taking responsibility
for their life.
So we need to
fight against that.
We need to take
responsibility
for ourselves.
Last point.
Jesus became
a victim
for us.
We still feel
like we're a victim.
We need to remember
that there's only one.
Jesus became
a victim
for us
and
we deserve
to be a victim
but he came
a victim for us.
Romans 5.6
says,
while we were
still helpless
at the right
time,
Christ died
for the ungodly.
In 1 Corinthians
15.57
says,
but thanks be to
God
who gives us
the victory
through our
Lord Jesus Christ.
We're still
tempted to harbor
a victim mentality.
Think of Jesus
being made a victim
for you.
They ought to
shut our mouths.
Okay?
They ought to
shut us up.
We need to shut up
in a good way.
We need to
shut the
narrative down
that we're
somehow victims
of other people
and of God
because on the
day of judgment
that's all going
to go away
in an instant.
Don't wait
till then.
Let's get right
with God today.
Let's repent
of this
defensiveness
and let the
Lord bring us
to accountability
and ownership.
Okay?
Anyway,
that's all I had.