WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:06.480 You are listening to a message from Southwood Presbyterian Church in Huntsville, Alabama. 00:00:06.980 --> 00:00:09.560 Our passion is to experience and express grace. 00:00:10.080 --> 00:00:10.620 Join us. 00:00:12.280 --> 00:00:13.339 Thanks, y'all. 00:00:14.919 --> 00:00:20.640 It's a poignant song about the reality of grief. 00:00:22.839 --> 00:00:27.240 Whether there's a funeral or not, grief is real. 00:00:27.239 --> 00:00:31.640 And it's hard, it's difficult for us to process. 00:00:32.699 --> 00:00:41.219 I hope that many of you will come Tuesday night and share in that with me, learn together, care for each other. 00:00:43.560 --> 00:00:54.899 But grief connected to a divorce, as that song is describing, is unfortunately one that many in this room know well. 00:00:54.899 --> 00:00:59.539 And hurt from even today. 00:01:00.219 --> 00:01:02.839 And that can put some of us on our guard quickly. 00:01:05.179 --> 00:01:06.819 Heightened sensitivities. 00:01:07.359 --> 00:01:08.780 Defenses up. 00:01:09.400 --> 00:01:16.759 When we come to a passage like the one we're about to read, where God addresses marriage and divorce very directly. 00:01:17.259 --> 00:01:19.420 There's some strong words here. 00:01:19.420 --> 00:01:29.379 So I want to begin by reminding you where Malachi started this message to God's people. 00:01:31.040 --> 00:01:35.140 I have loved you, says the Lord. 00:01:36.420 --> 00:01:38.299 I have loved you. 00:01:38.299 --> 00:01:49.780 As Ron so helpfully reminded us a couple of weeks ago, God doesn't send his prophet to tell people to clean their lives up. 00:01:49.920 --> 00:01:54.200 And maybe one day God just might somehow love them. 00:01:55.159 --> 00:01:56.840 That's not the message. 00:01:56.840 --> 00:02:10.780 Now he sends a reminder of his already present love for them to inspire new devotion and new obedience in his people. 00:02:10.780 --> 00:02:17.319 And we talked about that broadly last week in terms of truly worshiping God in all of life. 00:02:17.920 --> 00:02:19.819 And that's hard in general. 00:02:19.819 --> 00:02:35.120 But now Malachi gets specific in particular areas of our lives because your loving Father, your Creator, wants what's best for you. 00:02:35.900 --> 00:02:37.199 That's why he says these things. 00:02:37.500 --> 00:02:38.439 That's his heart. 00:02:39.500 --> 00:02:40.340 He loves you. 00:02:41.459 --> 00:02:42.340 Remember that. 00:02:42.340 --> 00:02:48.819 As we read chapter 2 of Malachi, we'll start reading in verse 10. 00:02:49.740 --> 00:02:54.240 What we're about to read is God's holy word. 00:02:54.620 --> 00:02:58.620 Timeless truth from our eternal creator. 00:03:00.039 --> 00:03:04.140 The love story from our heavenly Father. 00:03:05.980 --> 00:03:08.520 Have we not all one Father? 00:03:09.259 --> 00:03:11.159 Has not one God created us? 00:03:11.159 --> 00:03:16.079 Why then are we faithless to one another, profaning the covenant of our fathers? 00:03:17.099 --> 00:03:22.400 Judah has been faithless and abomination has been committed in Israel and in Jerusalem. 00:03:23.019 --> 00:03:30.560 For Judah has profaned the sanctuary of the Lord which he loves and has married the daughter of a foreign God. 00:03:31.359 --> 00:03:35.680 May the Lord cut off from the tents of Jacob any descendant of the man who does this, 00:03:36.000 --> 00:03:38.560 who brings an offering to the Lord of hosts. 00:03:38.560 --> 00:03:41.860 Then the second thing you do. 00:03:42.659 --> 00:03:50.400 You cover the Lord's altar with tears, with weeping and groaning because he no longer regards the offering or accepts it with favor from your hand. 00:03:50.719 --> 00:03:52.879 But you say, why does he not? 00:03:52.879 --> 00:04:04.740 Because the Lord was witness between you and the wife of your youth to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. 00:04:05.620 --> 00:04:09.139 Did he not make them one with a portion of the Spirit in their union? 00:04:09.680 --> 00:04:11.400 And what was the one God seeking? 00:04:12.019 --> 00:04:12.960 Godly offspring. 00:04:12.960 --> 00:04:19.060 So guard yourselves in your spirit and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth. 00:04:19.800 --> 00:04:28.460 For the man who hates and divorces, says the Lord, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the Lord of hosts. 00:04:29.460 --> 00:04:34.980 So guard yourselves in your spirit and do not be faithless. 00:04:35.340 --> 00:04:36.180 Let's pray together. 00:04:36.180 --> 00:04:42.319 Father, God, thank you for your word. 00:04:43.500 --> 00:04:46.959 We believe that we need it even when it's hard. 00:04:49.360 --> 00:04:55.259 So we ask you to speak to us by your spirit that we might know your love, 00:04:56.379 --> 00:05:01.420 that we might live in relationship with you and for your glory. 00:05:02.360 --> 00:05:04.819 In Jesus' name, amen. 00:05:04.819 --> 00:05:04.939 Amen. 00:05:06.180 --> 00:05:06.860 Amen. 00:05:08.860 --> 00:05:09.540 Amen. 00:05:09.540 --> 00:05:18.400 Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today in the presence of God and these witnesses to join this man and this woman in holy marriage, 00:05:18.840 --> 00:05:27.560 which is instituted by God, regulated by his commandments, not our ideas, and blessed by the Lord Jesus. 00:05:28.980 --> 00:05:33.019 God established marriage for his glory and the welfare of mankind. 00:05:33.019 --> 00:05:35.399 God established marriage for his glory and the love of God. 00:05:35.399 --> 00:05:37.159 You've heard words like that before. 00:05:37.259 --> 00:05:38.039 I'll stop there. 00:05:39.379 --> 00:05:45.699 But perhaps during that beginning of the ceremony, we're marveling at the beauty of the bride's dress, right? 00:05:45.699 --> 00:05:51.420 We're looking over and wondering if the cute little flower girl is going to make it through or not. 00:05:51.420 --> 00:06:00.160 And so it's perhaps understandable that the pastor is not the center of attention in that moment. 00:06:00.160 --> 00:06:17.840 But those words are vitally important because they set out the very beginning and end of marriage, its origin and its purpose, its goal, both in God himself, right? 00:06:17.839 --> 00:06:24.659 They remind us that God is intensely interested in these human covenants. 00:06:24.859 --> 00:06:29.739 He designed marriage and he's zealous for its design. 00:06:29.740 --> 00:06:36.720 This passage pushes us back to the original intent of God. 00:06:37.060 --> 00:06:39.699 Don't we have the same father? 00:06:40.139 --> 00:06:42.540 Didn't the same God create us? 00:06:43.139 --> 00:06:44.240 Malachi begins. 00:06:45.280 --> 00:06:47.860 And then later he'll use words that echo Genesis. 00:06:48.060 --> 00:06:52.259 Verse 14, your wife is your companion. 00:06:53.160 --> 00:06:57.720 That's the one you cleave to when you leave father and mother. 00:06:57.720 --> 00:06:59.260 It's that language. 00:06:59.920 --> 00:07:01.740 Your wife by covenant. 00:07:03.400 --> 00:07:07.920 Verse 15, did he not make them one? 00:07:08.560 --> 00:07:16.020 The two becoming one flesh in marriage united by God's spirit. 00:07:17.860 --> 00:07:21.460 So let's back up and start there for just a minute. 00:07:21.680 --> 00:07:24.080 Why did God create us? 00:07:24.080 --> 00:07:26.840 And why did God create marriage? 00:07:27.720 --> 00:07:32.880 Well, God created us to reflect his image in his creation, right? 00:07:33.300 --> 00:07:36.580 So that the earth might be full of his glory. 00:07:37.120 --> 00:07:42.160 That as we get to know him, we then reflect his character everywhere. 00:07:43.160 --> 00:07:45.780 A relational God. 00:07:46.180 --> 00:07:48.240 Father, Son, Holy Spirit. 00:07:48.240 --> 00:07:51.180 We reflect that he's inherently relational. 00:07:51.180 --> 00:07:56.060 And within that relational nature, he is utterly faithful. 00:07:57.019 --> 00:07:57.540 Isn't he? 00:07:57.900 --> 00:08:02.300 He's a covenant-making, promise-keeping God. 00:08:03.360 --> 00:08:04.500 That's who he is. 00:08:04.819 --> 00:08:13.300 And to go further, as God addresses his covenant people, he redeems them so that they will know and reflect his love. 00:08:13.540 --> 00:08:17.560 Love that persists despite our faithlessness. 00:08:18.519 --> 00:08:18.800 Right? 00:08:18.800 --> 00:08:28.740 We need to experience that part of his character that we've been celebrating this morning so we can reflect that love. 00:08:29.020 --> 00:08:33.720 A love so great for this world that he sent his only begotten son. 00:08:34.639 --> 00:08:37.340 A love that came while we were yet sinners. 00:08:37.879 --> 00:08:42.860 A love that didn't stop even when he had to go to the cross in our place. 00:08:42.860 --> 00:08:58.740 I so love Sally Lloyd-Jones' description of God's love as his never-stopping, never-giving-up, unbreaking, always-and-forever love. 00:08:58.800 --> 00:08:59.419 Isn't that beautiful? 00:09:01.180 --> 00:09:06.680 All of us are to reflect God's faithful love in all of our relationships. 00:09:06.679 --> 00:09:13.099 And then God says, I want to give a particular picture of this love in marriage. 00:09:13.099 --> 00:09:20.459 I want the relationship I have with my people to be displayed especially in the covenant of marriage. 00:09:20.679 --> 00:09:28.039 So that people get a glimpse and even maybe a taste of my incredible covenant love for them. 00:09:28.039 --> 00:09:31.539 And so God says, husbands, love your wives. 00:09:31.779 --> 00:09:32.059 How? 00:09:32.519 --> 00:09:38.319 As Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. 00:09:38.899 --> 00:09:39.839 Die to yourself. 00:09:40.259 --> 00:09:42.740 Live for your wife's honor and good. 00:09:42.919 --> 00:09:46.139 And keep on loving like that no matter what. 00:09:46.480 --> 00:09:48.240 So everyone can see me. 00:09:48.240 --> 00:09:51.220 That's the design. 00:09:51.659 --> 00:09:53.379 Each of us as individuals. 00:09:53.659 --> 00:10:02.940 And then every marriage in this room has been created to reflect the glorious character of our God. 00:10:03.039 --> 00:10:06.779 Because knowing him is what everyone most needs. 00:10:07.580 --> 00:10:10.460 We have a creative designer, don't we? 00:10:11.000 --> 00:10:13.220 We have a particular purpose. 00:10:14.620 --> 00:10:15.759 And so does marriage. 00:10:15.759 --> 00:10:27.379 What happens when we take something designed for a particular purpose and seek to use it to serve our own purpose? 00:10:29.840 --> 00:10:31.460 Let's think about that for a minute. 00:10:31.860 --> 00:10:38.879 Kids, there's a silly Slugs and Bugs song that Randall Goodgame sang when he was here quite recently. 00:10:39.539 --> 00:10:40.700 Some of you may remember it. 00:10:40.700 --> 00:10:47.960 It's about a tractor and a rocket and a carriage and a backhoe. 00:10:47.960 --> 00:10:50.420 And it's a really silly song though. 00:10:50.440 --> 00:10:51.560 Do any of you remember that song? 00:10:52.160 --> 00:11:01.100 What makes that song so silly is that it sings about those four different things that move and move us and do different things. 00:11:01.440 --> 00:11:05.759 And it's silly because it sings about a backhoe going to the moon. 00:11:05.759 --> 00:11:07.159 Can you imagine that? 00:11:07.220 --> 00:11:09.500 A backhoe going to the moon? 00:11:11.419 --> 00:11:12.220 No way. 00:11:12.819 --> 00:11:14.019 That would never work. 00:11:14.580 --> 00:11:15.319 That's silly. 00:11:15.639 --> 00:11:17.759 A rocket harvesting the wheat. 00:11:18.299 --> 00:11:20.059 A carriage digging up dirt. 00:11:20.159 --> 00:11:21.399 Is that what a carriage is for? 00:11:22.360 --> 00:11:24.399 A tractor going to the ball. 00:11:25.360 --> 00:11:27.379 No, those things wouldn't work, would they? 00:11:27.379 --> 00:11:33.439 We need to use things for the purpose for which they were designed. 00:11:36.120 --> 00:11:46.159 Perhaps more seriously, what if I took this glass Coke bottle designed perfectly for holding refreshing beverages? 00:11:47.200 --> 00:11:49.480 For being able to grip just right. 00:11:49.519 --> 00:11:51.159 It was designed like that very carefully. 00:11:51.679 --> 00:11:53.360 And I said, you know what I want to do today? 00:11:53.759 --> 00:11:56.000 I really need to hammer some nails. 00:11:56.000 --> 00:11:57.139 I do. 00:11:57.220 --> 00:11:59.019 There's some right over here sticking out. 00:11:59.080 --> 00:12:01.200 And I just said, let me just knock some in. 00:12:01.940 --> 00:12:03.159 You would say, no! 00:12:03.980 --> 00:12:04.539 Stop! 00:12:05.379 --> 00:12:06.600 Don't do that. 00:12:07.179 --> 00:12:13.460 If you use that glass Coke bottle to hammer those nails, you'll harm yourself and perhaps others, right? 00:12:14.120 --> 00:12:15.440 You wouldn't want to watch that. 00:12:15.440 --> 00:12:26.700 We must use things for the purpose they were designed, especially when the designer is God. 00:12:28.580 --> 00:12:34.740 God says, Will, your purpose is knowing and reflecting me. 00:12:34.740 --> 00:12:38.039 God says, marriage. 00:12:38.039 --> 00:12:43.840 Your purpose is knowing and reflecting my love. 00:12:44.840 --> 00:12:50.840 And when we seek to use ourselves or our marriages for other purposes, we do great harm. 00:12:51.639 --> 00:13:02.480 We're witnessing that devastating reality in our culture right now where Christians and non-Christians alike seem to have forgotten that God designed marriage. 00:13:02.480 --> 00:13:05.759 And instead, we're defining it by what we want. 00:13:06.180 --> 00:13:08.920 It's regulated by our ideas, isn't it? 00:13:08.940 --> 00:13:10.139 Not His commandments. 00:13:10.960 --> 00:13:12.159 Our goals for it. 00:13:12.220 --> 00:13:15.759 The purposes we have often for our self-fulfillment. 00:13:15.759 --> 00:13:20.740 And the harm we're inflicting on ourselves and others is devastating. 00:13:23.379 --> 00:13:34.259 See, God says there's this link between our vertical relationship with Him and our horizontal relationships with each other, especially our marriages. 00:13:34.399 --> 00:13:35.779 That's actually His design. 00:13:35.779 --> 00:13:44.459 As a result, every marriage problem is at minimum a worship problem. 00:13:45.539 --> 00:13:55.319 Other factors may certainly be at work, but involved in every marriage issue horizontally is a worship issue vertically. 00:13:55.320 --> 00:14:16.060 If you're single and you're consumed by the idea of getting married, constantly anxious about finding the right person who will make you happy and centering your whole life around that notion, that's a worship problem. 00:14:16.059 --> 00:14:27.239 If you're married and feeling distant from your spouse because one or both of you must be right all the time, that's a worship problem. 00:14:28.579 --> 00:14:45.059 If you're divorced and you've decided that life is over until you're married again, or you've decided you're never getting married again because it interferes with living for yourself, that's a worship problem. 00:14:46.059 --> 00:14:52.839 Well, we know that God's people in Malachi's day had a worship problem, right? 00:14:54.099 --> 00:15:00.019 They've despised God's name by bringing Him leftovers for sacrifices. 00:15:01.659 --> 00:15:05.919 And now it shows up in their relationships with each other too. 00:15:06.339 --> 00:15:10.519 First, in the way they approach marriage. 00:15:11.299 --> 00:15:12.339 Verse 11. 00:15:12.340 --> 00:15:19.019 Judah has been faithless and abomination has been committed in Israel and in Jerusalem. 00:15:19.019 --> 00:15:27.280 For Judah has profaned the sanctuary of the Lord which he loves and has married the daughter of a foreign God. 00:15:27.800 --> 00:15:34.600 What was happening here in Malachi's day is that the eyes and hearts of the Jewish men were wandering. 00:15:34.600 --> 00:15:45.200 They had noticed the women of the peoples around them in a nation trying to get its feet back under it. 00:15:45.300 --> 00:15:55.560 They'd noticed perhaps the political influence, the financial benefits that they could gain from marriage with one of these women. 00:15:55.779 --> 00:16:00.700 And they thought, I can use marriage to get what I want. 00:16:00.700 --> 00:16:04.000 Who cares that she doesn't follow Yahweh? 00:16:04.920 --> 00:16:09.740 That she worships Baal or a long list of other gods. 00:16:09.860 --> 00:16:12.500 This marriage will benefit me. 00:16:13.100 --> 00:16:14.200 That's what they were saying. 00:16:14.960 --> 00:16:19.920 And Yahweh says, this is profaning His temple. 00:16:20.640 --> 00:16:22.040 It's a worship problem. 00:16:22.379 --> 00:16:23.740 It's an abomination. 00:16:24.740 --> 00:16:26.600 It's a strong word. 00:16:26.600 --> 00:16:33.960 These men are breaking faith first in their relationship with Him. 00:16:34.600 --> 00:16:34.860 Right? 00:16:35.860 --> 00:16:37.960 I want to be very clear here. 00:16:38.740 --> 00:16:43.440 This is a spiritual issue God is warning against. 00:16:43.620 --> 00:16:47.540 Not a racial or ethnic issue. 00:16:47.539 --> 00:16:58.079 God is prohibiting such marriages not because of skin color, but because of heart commitment. 00:16:59.299 --> 00:17:06.079 Sadly, and to our shame, many Christians have switched these priorities in their teaching on marriage. 00:17:06.079 --> 00:17:12.339 But God's word is very clear that the problem is religion, not race. 00:17:13.460 --> 00:17:14.599 And the foreign wife. 00:17:14.599 --> 00:17:24.119 As He has repeatedly told His people about the danger of the nations around them leading their hearts away from the worship of Yahweh. 00:17:24.379 --> 00:17:25.959 That's what He's concerned about. 00:17:26.639 --> 00:17:29.879 That's first the marriage problem. 00:17:30.579 --> 00:17:33.679 Using it to get what I want. 00:17:34.480 --> 00:17:35.639 Not what God's designed. 00:17:37.379 --> 00:17:40.699 And then in verse 13, He turns to their divorce problem. 00:17:41.599 --> 00:17:42.719 Flows right out of that. 00:17:42.720 --> 00:17:50.779 But in order to marry these foreign women, the Jewish men were divorcing their Jewish wives. 00:17:51.299 --> 00:17:53.180 I need something different. 00:17:54.059 --> 00:17:56.200 She'll get me things you can't. 00:17:56.759 --> 00:17:59.079 This is what I need to be happy. 00:18:00.960 --> 00:18:03.940 And they're leaving their wives abandoned. 00:18:05.279 --> 00:18:07.980 Their covenant commitments shattered. 00:18:07.980 --> 00:18:10.200 Verse 13. 00:18:10.200 --> 00:18:16.420 This second thing you do, you cover the Lord's altar with tears, with weeping and groaning. 00:18:16.720 --> 00:18:21.039 Because He no longer regards the offering or accepts it with favor from your hand. 00:18:21.360 --> 00:18:22.460 These are tears. 00:18:22.660 --> 00:18:25.259 Some of them perhaps from the men themselves. 00:18:25.960 --> 00:18:34.000 Many of them likely from the wives that they've abandoned and left in that day without social support and provision. 00:18:34.000 --> 00:18:37.799 But they don't realize what's happening. 00:18:37.900 --> 00:18:39.259 You say, why does He not? 00:18:39.420 --> 00:18:41.619 Why does God not accept my worship? 00:18:42.519 --> 00:18:47.140 Because the Lord was witness between you and the wife of your youth. 00:18:47.380 --> 00:18:50.660 To whom you've been faithless, though she is your companion. 00:18:51.160 --> 00:18:53.059 Your wife by covenant. 00:18:53.599 --> 00:18:55.500 This was the one, right? 00:18:55.500 --> 00:18:59.819 The gift God gave to you for your life. 00:19:00.099 --> 00:19:03.859 The one committed to walking with you to ease your loneliness. 00:19:04.339 --> 00:19:10.339 The one God united you to so that you'd worship Him together and teach your children to worship Him. 00:19:11.079 --> 00:19:13.079 Notice that in verse 15. 00:19:13.440 --> 00:19:16.700 Did He not make them one with a portion of the Spirit in their union? 00:19:17.200 --> 00:19:18.640 What was the one God seeking? 00:19:19.099 --> 00:19:20.680 Godly offspring. 00:19:20.680 --> 00:19:28.600 Your worship of God together is to impact the next generation to worship Yahweh. 00:19:29.259 --> 00:19:34.060 And this is not saying that's the only purpose of Christian marriage. 00:19:34.740 --> 00:19:40.740 But it is one of the best ways that we share that story of God's faithfulness and love. 00:19:41.220 --> 00:19:43.860 So stop being faithless. 00:19:44.580 --> 00:19:47.480 To your wives and to me, God says. 00:19:47.480 --> 00:19:57.019 You're leaving your wife for a foreign woman and me for a foreign God who will influence your heart and your children's hearts. 00:19:57.559 --> 00:19:58.940 Divorce is a huge problem. 00:19:59.120 --> 00:19:59.680 Stop! 00:20:00.539 --> 00:20:01.240 He says. 00:20:05.720 --> 00:20:13.079 Verses 15 and 16 are some of the most difficult Hebrew in all the Old Testament. 00:20:13.339 --> 00:20:14.000 They're hard words. 00:20:14.079 --> 00:20:15.799 They're also really hard to translate. 00:20:15.799 --> 00:20:23.539 Among other challenges, it's unclear which nouns are the subjects of which verbs. 00:20:24.579 --> 00:20:24.919 Okay? 00:20:25.019 --> 00:20:28.159 So you'll see it written a lot of different ways. 00:20:28.319 --> 00:20:33.539 Many translations read in verse 16, God hates divorce. 00:20:35.819 --> 00:20:39.480 This is that passage you've perhaps heard quoted. 00:20:39.639 --> 00:20:41.680 It comes from Malachi 2. 00:20:41.680 --> 00:20:47.960 And you don't see it that way in the ESV if you're using a pew Bible this morning. 00:20:48.220 --> 00:20:53.180 And I think the ESV has done a really good job of being faithful to the Hebrew. 00:20:53.380 --> 00:20:57.980 But I don't want you to read it to soften that statement. 00:20:58.100 --> 00:20:59.180 That's not what's happening. 00:21:00.620 --> 00:21:01.920 Listen to what it says. 00:21:01.920 --> 00:21:21.039 It says divorcing is violence. 00:21:21.039 --> 00:21:25.259 It's publicly sinful, shameful in these cases. 00:21:25.460 --> 00:21:27.920 And God warns against it a second time. 00:21:27.920 --> 00:21:33.100 This translation takes more words to do it. 00:21:33.160 --> 00:21:36.560 But it is still telling us God hates divorce. 00:21:37.420 --> 00:21:44.840 The faithlessness that breaks covenant commitment doesn't reflect his character or his love for his people. 00:21:45.300 --> 00:21:48.560 And that was the high purpose of your marriage, he's saying to them. 00:21:48.559 --> 00:21:54.619 For those nations around you, maybe even those women you couldn't keep yourself away from. 00:21:55.440 --> 00:22:07.339 And those children you've had with the wife of your youth to get a glimpse of Yahweh's never stopping, never giving up, unbreaking, always and forever love. 00:22:07.559 --> 00:22:12.460 And your commitment to him and your commitment to your wife. 00:22:16.519 --> 00:22:17.779 So what about in our day? 00:22:18.559 --> 00:22:24.940 How do our worship problems become marriage problems? 00:22:26.579 --> 00:22:28.240 Let me count the ways, right? 00:22:30.319 --> 00:22:33.679 Marriage has become to us a way to get what we want. 00:22:34.879 --> 00:22:41.839 The purpose being that I will be the most successful and happy version of me that I can imagine. 00:22:41.980 --> 00:22:44.179 Because certainly that's what God wants. 00:22:45.240 --> 00:22:46.279 That's the point, right? 00:22:46.279 --> 00:22:47.799 That's why I get married. 00:22:47.799 --> 00:22:48.819 It's a good thing. 00:22:50.919 --> 00:22:53.119 By marrying whomever I want. 00:22:54.339 --> 00:22:57.059 Becoming one with them whenever I want. 00:22:57.680 --> 00:23:02.879 And dropping them for any reason I want when they're not doing that for me anymore. 00:23:02.880 --> 00:23:09.560 God through Malachi has strong warnings for his people in our day too. 00:23:09.560 --> 00:23:13.480 Who are using glass Coke bottles to hammer nails. 00:23:14.600 --> 00:23:16.940 It's not just out there somewhere. 00:23:17.200 --> 00:23:19.700 It's in here too. 00:23:20.700 --> 00:23:22.260 Start with that first part. 00:23:22.340 --> 00:23:24.940 How we approach marriage itself. 00:23:24.940 --> 00:23:29.320 According to Pew research a few years ago. 00:23:29.320 --> 00:23:36.700 Nearly 40% of marriages in America were between people of two different religions. 00:23:37.820 --> 00:23:40.100 It doubled in 50 years. 00:23:40.980 --> 00:23:45.420 Most of those, a Christian with a non-Christian. 00:23:45.420 --> 00:23:58.000 For reference, a marriage is almost twice as likely to be with someone from the same political party as the same religion. 00:23:58.000 --> 00:24:00.079 You get that? 00:24:00.519 --> 00:24:02.359 Republicans and Democrats don't marry. 00:24:03.160 --> 00:24:04.880 But Christians and non-Christians seem to. 00:24:05.119 --> 00:24:10.500 Have our political allegiances so far surpassed our spiritual allegiances? 00:24:10.500 --> 00:24:18.720 Please remember as we apply this to ourselves that the New Testament tells us as God's people. 00:24:18.920 --> 00:24:21.859 If we are married to an unbeliever who will stay with us. 00:24:21.960 --> 00:24:23.579 We should not divorce them. 00:24:25.619 --> 00:24:30.319 But God says we should seek to avoid being unequally yoked. 00:24:30.460 --> 00:24:32.180 Again, an issue of the heart. 00:24:33.539 --> 00:24:37.700 One way you demonstrate the priority of your relationship with me. 00:24:37.700 --> 00:24:43.500 God says is committing to a spouse with that same priority in his or her life. 00:24:43.860 --> 00:24:46.319 And we're often like the men in Malachi's day. 00:24:46.640 --> 00:24:49.720 Thinking we know what's best for ourselves. 00:24:51.319 --> 00:24:52.460 Guard yourself. 00:24:53.279 --> 00:24:58.680 Malachi says by maintaining the priority of your relationship with God. 00:24:59.900 --> 00:25:00.920 Young people. 00:25:03.200 --> 00:25:04.840 When you are praying for. 00:25:04.839 --> 00:25:07.119 Or looking for. 00:25:07.519 --> 00:25:08.500 Someone to marry. 00:25:08.819 --> 00:25:09.659 As you grow up. 00:25:10.659 --> 00:25:14.919 You must remember that God's standards are first. 00:25:15.720 --> 00:25:17.379 Not things you hear from everybody else. 00:25:17.899 --> 00:25:19.459 Not what everybody else is looking for. 00:25:19.519 --> 00:25:22.379 But what he says you're looking for. 00:25:22.539 --> 00:25:23.799 And someone to marry. 00:25:25.299 --> 00:25:25.819 Parents. 00:25:25.819 --> 00:25:28.359 His bank account. 00:25:29.359 --> 00:25:30.720 His skin color. 00:25:31.639 --> 00:25:33.439 And his family background. 00:25:33.779 --> 00:25:35.139 Are not deal breakers. 00:25:37.099 --> 00:25:38.500 But his heart is. 00:25:40.500 --> 00:25:41.659 It's that important. 00:25:42.839 --> 00:25:44.960 God knows what's best for you. 00:25:45.659 --> 00:25:47.039 Or for your child. 00:25:47.500 --> 00:25:49.559 Even better than you do. 00:25:50.619 --> 00:25:51.659 Even better than we know. 00:25:51.740 --> 00:25:52.839 What's best for ourselves. 00:25:52.980 --> 00:25:53.639 And for our children. 00:25:53.640 --> 00:25:56.980 And when we violate God's design for our lives. 00:25:58.000 --> 00:25:59.020 For our marriages. 00:25:59.360 --> 00:26:01.400 We do so to our own peril. 00:26:01.680 --> 00:26:03.800 When we think we know better than our creator. 00:26:03.960 --> 00:26:04.840 How we should work. 00:26:05.080 --> 00:26:06.180 And what's best for us. 00:26:06.300 --> 00:26:08.020 We are worshiping self. 00:26:08.259 --> 00:26:09.600 Rather than God. 00:26:10.660 --> 00:26:11.520 In case you don't know. 00:26:11.580 --> 00:26:12.259 That's a problem. 00:26:17.020 --> 00:26:17.900 We do it. 00:26:18.300 --> 00:26:20.120 When we consider divorce too. 00:26:20.119 --> 00:26:22.039 Or faithlessness. 00:26:22.619 --> 00:26:23.479 In our marriages. 00:26:25.079 --> 00:26:27.179 Even before we get to divorce itself. 00:26:27.339 --> 00:26:30.139 This passage should challenge Christian marriages. 00:26:30.139 --> 00:26:32.679 That have become devoid of Christ. 00:26:34.879 --> 00:26:36.500 Do you ever read God's word? 00:26:37.379 --> 00:26:38.919 Or pray together? 00:26:40.799 --> 00:26:42.539 Do you teach your kids? 00:26:42.899 --> 00:26:44.459 The glories of the gospel. 00:26:44.779 --> 00:26:46.859 And how that impacts a relationship? 00:26:46.859 --> 00:26:50.299 Do you really spend time together? 00:26:50.519 --> 00:26:51.279 And investing. 00:26:51.519 --> 00:26:52.359 And repenting. 00:26:52.459 --> 00:26:53.119 And forgiving. 00:26:53.359 --> 00:26:54.819 And having the gospel show up. 00:26:54.859 --> 00:26:55.559 And make a difference. 00:26:55.740 --> 00:26:58.019 And the way you relate to your spouse. 00:26:58.859 --> 00:27:00.879 That would be the positive call here. 00:27:00.939 --> 00:27:01.139 Right? 00:27:01.439 --> 00:27:04.019 For all of us who've fallen complacent. 00:27:04.139 --> 00:27:05.099 In our marriages. 00:27:05.359 --> 00:27:05.719 Yes. 00:27:05.819 --> 00:27:07.839 Married to fellow Christians. 00:27:07.979 --> 00:27:08.339 Wonderful. 00:27:08.679 --> 00:27:11.099 But living for our own fulfillment. 00:27:11.279 --> 00:27:12.939 Rather than God's purposes. 00:27:12.940 --> 00:27:17.980 Some of us haven't looked longingly at a woman from another country. 00:27:18.140 --> 00:27:21.140 But we're doing the same at a woman on a computer. 00:27:23.539 --> 00:27:24.940 God says don't be faithless. 00:27:26.259 --> 00:27:30.440 Your unfaithfulness is breaking the highest purpose of marriage. 00:27:30.940 --> 00:27:32.740 Displaying his faithful love. 00:27:33.019 --> 00:27:33.160 Listen. 00:27:33.259 --> 00:27:35.539 He's saying do more than stay married. 00:27:36.140 --> 00:27:37.500 It's not a box to check. 00:27:37.900 --> 00:27:41.039 Pour your heart into the wife of your youth. 00:27:41.039 --> 00:27:43.319 That's what's best for you. 00:27:43.720 --> 00:27:45.460 Guard yourselves in your hearts. 00:27:49.779 --> 00:27:54.039 In a culture of prevalent so-called no-fault divorce. 00:27:56.059 --> 00:27:57.659 Let me just say it this way. 00:27:59.039 --> 00:28:00.220 According to God's word. 00:28:00.819 --> 00:28:02.579 God views divorce quite differently. 00:28:04.220 --> 00:28:09.159 This is not a culture that reflects the character or heart of God. 00:28:09.160 --> 00:28:09.240 God. 00:28:12.300 --> 00:28:15.440 But God would understand how hard this is. 00:28:15.560 --> 00:28:17.220 How unhappy I am. 00:28:17.320 --> 00:28:19.480 How unhealthy our marriage is. 00:28:20.080 --> 00:28:20.920 Yes, he would. 00:28:22.560 --> 00:28:27.960 But his word speaks clearly to turn us away from divorce. 00:28:28.980 --> 00:28:32.480 But the kids shouldn't have to hear us argue all the time. 00:28:32.840 --> 00:28:35.160 God doesn't want me in a loveless marriage. 00:28:35.160 --> 00:28:35.759 Marriage. 00:28:36.960 --> 00:28:37.480 No. 00:28:39.840 --> 00:28:41.460 But God's call first. 00:28:42.220 --> 00:28:43.340 Is to repent. 00:28:44.840 --> 00:28:45.860 Not divorce. 00:28:47.580 --> 00:28:49.440 Yes, there are situations. 00:28:50.440 --> 00:28:52.480 Where God permits divorce. 00:28:53.440 --> 00:28:55.120 I can't talk about everything this morning. 00:28:55.119 --> 00:28:59.579 But the heart of God's word is what? 00:28:59.959 --> 00:29:02.839 To run the other way. 00:29:03.459 --> 00:29:03.679 Right? 00:29:04.279 --> 00:29:08.019 To run back towards the wife of your youth. 00:29:08.259 --> 00:29:09.179 Whatever it takes. 00:29:09.459 --> 00:29:13.819 Even if it's costly to you for the sake of God's glory. 00:29:13.979 --> 00:29:18.119 To picture his forgiving forever covenant love. 00:29:19.719 --> 00:29:20.119 Guard yourself. 00:29:20.119 --> 00:29:22.299 And don't be faithless. 00:29:22.500 --> 00:29:23.679 For God's glory. 00:29:24.159 --> 00:29:25.279 And for your good. 00:29:27.759 --> 00:29:31.279 Is your heart pursuing God's design? 00:29:31.819 --> 00:29:32.979 For your marriage? 00:29:33.979 --> 00:29:35.459 Or your desires? 00:29:35.460 --> 00:29:42.360 Let me say one last thing as we close. 00:29:43.279 --> 00:29:50.120 This is God's word speaking really directly to divorce and remarriage. 00:29:51.559 --> 00:29:54.380 Without a lot of disclaimers. 00:29:56.180 --> 00:30:01.380 And many of you feel the pain of broken relationships. 00:30:01.380 --> 00:30:09.700 Most of the people who have encouraged me most strongly to speak about the pain and hurt of divorce. 00:30:09.820 --> 00:30:11.760 Are brothers and sisters, friends of mine. 00:30:11.880 --> 00:30:16.180 Who have walked through the pain of that in their own lives. 00:30:16.300 --> 00:30:18.660 And been deeply impacted by it. 00:30:19.920 --> 00:30:20.960 They don't love it. 00:30:22.020 --> 00:30:26.080 It hurts in ways that I can't fully understand. 00:30:26.220 --> 00:30:28.380 Having not been in your shoes. 00:30:28.380 --> 00:30:32.700 See when we talk about reflecting God in our marriages. 00:30:32.980 --> 00:30:34.740 It's about telling that story. 00:30:35.020 --> 00:30:36.120 Of his never stopping. 00:30:36.340 --> 00:30:37.100 Never giving up. 00:30:37.400 --> 00:30:37.940 Unbreaking. 00:30:38.140 --> 00:30:38.500 Always. 00:30:38.760 --> 00:30:40.000 And forever love. 00:30:40.300 --> 00:30:41.180 And sometimes. 00:30:41.420 --> 00:30:44.820 Bad relationships here start writing a different narrative. 00:30:46.180 --> 00:30:47.580 A different story. 00:30:51.020 --> 00:30:52.160 On your hearts. 00:30:52.640 --> 00:30:54.600 That tells you that that kind of love. 00:30:54.920 --> 00:30:55.860 Doesn't exist. 00:30:55.859 --> 00:30:59.199 And a lot of you have been there. 00:31:00.199 --> 00:31:01.240 And you've felt that. 00:31:03.059 --> 00:31:04.379 Maybe you're the one who left. 00:31:07.539 --> 00:31:09.079 Maybe you've been the one abandoned. 00:31:10.359 --> 00:31:14.939 Maybe you were the kid who saw love not last. 00:31:18.939 --> 00:31:20.259 Maybe you know the truth. 00:31:20.599 --> 00:31:22.240 About what Malachi is saying. 00:31:22.319 --> 00:31:23.699 About broken covenants. 00:31:24.019 --> 00:31:25.719 Better than anyone else in here. 00:31:25.859 --> 00:31:30.039 You need to hear something else too. 00:31:32.539 --> 00:31:34.199 God wants to rewrite. 00:31:34.599 --> 00:31:35.500 That narrative. 00:31:36.219 --> 00:31:36.939 In your heart. 00:31:38.939 --> 00:31:40.599 That's his desire today. 00:31:41.399 --> 00:31:44.219 That you would know that not even your own failures. 00:31:45.419 --> 00:31:47.959 Not even the failures of someone else. 00:31:47.959 --> 00:31:49.039 That have hurt you. 00:31:49.039 --> 00:31:50.579 Can separate you. 00:31:50.979 --> 00:31:52.419 From the love of God. 00:31:52.500 --> 00:31:53.599 In Christ Jesus. 00:31:53.599 --> 00:31:55.859 That's a true story. 00:31:55.859 --> 00:31:58.179 That he wants your heart to hear today. 00:31:59.179 --> 00:32:01.359 His relationship with you. 00:32:01.559 --> 00:32:02.740 Through Jesus. 00:32:02.939 --> 00:32:06.339 Is one he has pledged himself to. 00:32:06.819 --> 00:32:08.559 Second Timothy reminds us that. 00:32:08.939 --> 00:32:11.219 Even if we are faithless. 00:32:11.779 --> 00:32:15.740 Yet he will remain faithful. 00:32:15.959 --> 00:32:17.759 That's his very character. 00:32:18.000 --> 00:32:18.199 Right? 00:32:18.200 --> 00:32:19.200 His covenant love. 00:32:19.200 --> 00:32:19.660 His covenant love. 00:32:19.660 --> 00:32:20.900 Didn't stop. 00:32:21.019 --> 00:32:23.640 When it called him to lay down his life for you. 00:32:24.440 --> 00:32:25.660 His covenant love. 00:32:25.660 --> 00:32:26.779 Won't stop. 00:32:26.940 --> 00:32:29.000 When your covenant love breaks. 00:32:29.200 --> 00:32:29.420 Amen. 00:32:30.340 --> 00:32:32.000 Praise the Lord for that. 00:32:32.720 --> 00:32:34.160 There is love. 00:32:35.000 --> 00:32:36.680 That never stops. 00:32:37.180 --> 00:32:38.279 Never gives up. 00:32:38.759 --> 00:32:39.519 Doesn't break. 00:32:39.759 --> 00:32:40.680 Is always. 00:32:40.680 --> 00:32:41.680 And forever. 00:32:43.680 --> 00:32:45.560 That's the kind of love he calls us. 00:32:46.259 --> 00:32:47.660 To reflect in our marriages. 00:32:48.200 --> 00:32:50.039 His love not only comes first. 00:32:50.039 --> 00:32:51.420 Before we obey. 00:32:51.640 --> 00:32:54.140 And motivates us to live for him. 00:32:54.220 --> 00:32:56.320 But it also persists. 00:32:56.600 --> 00:32:59.279 When we fail to obey. 00:32:59.940 --> 00:33:00.799 Never stopping. 00:33:01.480 --> 00:33:02.340 Never giving up. 00:33:02.940 --> 00:33:03.539 Unbreaking. 00:33:03.920 --> 00:33:04.440 Always. 00:33:04.860 --> 00:33:05.500 And forever. 00:33:05.940 --> 00:33:06.539 Love. 00:33:06.539 --> 00:33:06.659 Love. 00:33:07.859 --> 00:33:09.680 The kind of love we're called to. 00:33:09.859 --> 00:33:10.559 In our marriages. 00:33:11.180 --> 00:33:12.879 The kind of love he perfectly. 00:33:13.359 --> 00:33:14.839 And persistently. 00:33:15.440 --> 00:33:15.859 Shows. 00:33:16.259 --> 00:33:17.779 To all of his children. 00:33:18.420 --> 00:33:19.079 Praise the Lord. 00:33:20.039 --> 00:33:20.420 Amen. 00:33:20.639 --> 00:33:21.099 Let's pray. 00:33:22.299 --> 00:33:23.420 Father thank you. 00:33:24.759 --> 00:33:26.079 For love like that. 00:33:30.339 --> 00:33:32.599 We show it to each other so poorly. 00:33:32.599 --> 00:33:37.579 Many of us hurt so deeply. 00:33:40.279 --> 00:33:43.179 That it's a hard love for us to believe again. 00:33:46.740 --> 00:33:49.279 But you sent Jesus for us. 00:33:50.339 --> 00:33:53.000 That we would not forget. 00:33:53.740 --> 00:33:56.399 That we would actually taste and see. 00:33:57.179 --> 00:33:58.379 The Lord is good. 00:33:59.219 --> 00:34:00.879 That his love never fails. 00:34:00.880 --> 00:34:03.600 That he's faithful. 00:34:03.700 --> 00:34:05.760 And his mercies are new again this morning. 00:34:06.000 --> 00:34:07.180 In our hurt. 00:34:07.580 --> 00:34:08.720 In our sin. 00:34:09.280 --> 00:34:10.480 In our desperation. 00:34:11.420 --> 00:34:12.800 Father heal us. 00:34:18.059 --> 00:34:19.220 Speak to our hearts. 00:34:19.940 --> 00:34:20.980 By your spirit. 00:34:21.119 --> 00:34:21.820 And through your word. 00:34:22.160 --> 00:34:23.039 In Jesus name. 00:34:23.700 --> 00:34:23.980 Amen. 00:34:23.980 --> 00:34:24.179 Amen. 00:34:24.740 --> 00:34:25.139 Amen. 00:34:27.719 --> 00:34:29.039 For more information. 00:34:29.480 --> 00:34:30.360 Visit us online. 00:34:30.559 --> 00:34:31.639 At southwood.org 00:34:31.639 --> 00:34:45.300 For more information. 00:34:45.300 --> 00:34:46.280 Visit us online.