All right, guys, we're going to be on outline two there.
If you're tracking along in the handouts,
going to war with conflict,
I promised you in the last session we'd do a closer look at James 1-10,
that section of James where he's really dealing with this.
And so I'm going to make good on that promise in this session.
I referenced in the interview before the seminar started
that I worked for Family Life Ministries.
It was part of Campus Crusade.
It was at the time the most theologically conservative arm of Campus Crusade.
And I left almost 20 years ago, so I can't speak to it knowledgeably now.
But then it was very solidly reformed in its approach to the scriptures and to life.
One of their flagship events that they do all around the world,
about 300 times a year when I was there,
is a conference called A Weekend to Remember.
It's a marriage conference that's really designed to help cast a vision
for what biblical marriage is,
the purpose, the plan, and the power for marriage are three of the sessions there.
But in the first session of the conference,
somewhere in there,
they start drawing attention to how we should view our spouse.
This is not going to be a marriage session.
It's just an opening illustration.
And they're well known for this phrase,
my spouse is not my enemy.
And then they typically get the audience to repeat after them.
My spouse is not my enemy.
Turn to your spouse now and say that.
You are not my...
Like, they do this over and over again.
And they're...
Don't turn to one another.
I don't want to make this weird.
But they do that because they are trying to underscore
what many people came in believing wrongly.
Many people who come to this marriage conference
are coming with their marriage on the rocks.
They know their spouse is their enemy.
That's why they brought them, to get fixed.
Okay?
And that's why a lot of people come to marriage counseling.
They're convinced they're right.
Let me just go and be a cheerleader
as God works on my spouse.
Like, over and over again, this is this thought.
The person I'm in conflict with is my enemy.
Is the assumption we can bring.
And so Family Life, in their marriage conferences,
Rob, in this seminar, is here to say
the person that comes to mind when you're in conflict
is not your enemy.
Now, I don't know what kind of shape you showed up in here.
If there's...
I don't know any of you personally, really, at all.
So if you have a lot of conflict in your life,
if there's just one relationship,
maybe you're just, you know, conflict-free,
praise the Lord.
Regardless,
the person we're in conflict with is not our enemy.
Now, that is not to say you don't have an enemy.
The enemy that you do have
likes to stay as invisible as possible.
And he likes to whisper in your ear
so that you fight against someone who's not your enemy
so you do not fight properly the one who is.
Part of relational counseling
is taking people who are on opposite sides of a table
looking at one another in fighting
and figuratively, sometimes literally,
putting them on the same side of the table
fighting the enemy together.
Okay?
This is largely what's in view
when we get to James 4.
That we...
James 4 is trying to address
a people who have identified the wrong enemy.
And James tries to get you to identify
the right enemy.
When there's conflict,
we're supposed to, as Christians,
go to war.
But we're not supposed to go to war with each other.
We're supposed to go to a war against the devil.
It's just an error we so often make
that we fight against the wrong thing.
And what does that result in?
It results in chronic fighting.
Or,
eventually, cold apathy.
We can't fight anymore.
We just can't.
Neither of us has it in us.
We clearly can't be at peace
because you won't change.
So we have to get to a place
where we just don't act in love
toward one another anymore.
Married couples coexist.
Friends drift off.
Family members develop blacklists.
You don't get invited to Thanksgiving
or to this party or to that.
You know, Christmas is just really awkward.
Because of all of this apathy
and unresolved conflict.
Because we have fought the wrong enemy.
What does the Bible say
we're supposed to do
when we go to war against the right enemy?
Take a look at Ephesians 6.
Put on the whole armor of God
that you may be able to stand
against the schemes of the devil.
So right there,
Paul acknowledges who the right enemy is.
James gets to it eventually
in James 4 when we look at that.
For we do not wrestle
against flesh and blood,
but against rulers,
against the authorities,
against the cosmic powers
over this present darkness,
against the spiritual forces of evil
in the heavenly places.
Let me encourage you.
Whatever relationship seems broken
or in conflict,
remind yourself of this.
You do not wrestle
against flesh and blood.
Now in some places,
that's the platform it plays out in.
But that's not what's really happening.
What's really happening
is that we wrestle
against rulers,
authorities,
cosmic powers,
against spiritual forces of evil.
One of the main devices
Satan uses
to diminish
the Christian witness
is to get Christians
fighting with one another.
If he can't get you
to ruin your own life
with personal sin,
secret sin,
those kinds of things,
he tries to get you
to turn on one another
with sinful judgments,
rash judgments,
self-righteousness
that causes you
to think you're better
than other people,
to view people
according to their worst attributes
while you prefer
to be graded
by your best attributes.
This imbalance,
it allows us
to turn against
one another as enemies
and then
he can kind of stop.
He just kind of steps back
because our sinful nature
will continue doing the job
once he gets us
fighting in the wrong direction.
Now,
before I get into
some of these comments
that James hits
in chapter four,
I want to give
an important qualifier.
I always hope
this doesn't apply
to people
when I'm speaking to them,
but I never assume,
so I want to make sure
I say it.
There are sometimes
those situations
that happen to you
where someone is
really your enemy.
Like,
they are out
to destroy you.
That happens.
There are also scenarios
where
a path forward
really is trying
to figure out
how can I be safe?
It's not just
kind of the common
relational conflict
that we've had in view,
but there really is
an issue of safety
at work.
I don't want you
to take away
from this seminar.
Let me go back
to that unsafe scenario
and apply these principles
of grace and forgiveness.
They apply,
but I want to really
plead with you
to get counsel,
get help,
if needed,
call the authorities.
Let's get you safe
before we start
working on your heart.
Does that make sense?
Everybody with me
on that?
Okay.
What I have in view
with these,
now again,
I think even in the
most extreme cases,
these things apply,
but what I have in view
with more immediate
application
is that broad set
of conflicts
that happen
in most people's lives,
not more of these
extreme examples.
Okay, now,
let's take a look
at James 4.
I want to read
verses 1 through 10.
Of course,
I'm preaching off
of a manuscript here
and I've left
my Bible in my bag.
Can I have,
can I?
I'll find it.
I kind of know
where it is.
Thank you.
Never go into the pulpit
without your Bible friends.
It's a job hazard.
All right.
James 4.
Here we go,
1 through 10.
I'm just going to read it,
follow along.
What causes quarrels
and what causes fights
among you?
Is it not this,
that your passions
are at war within you?
You desire
and do not have,
so you murder.
You covet
and cannot obtain,
so you fight
and quarrel.
You do not have
because you do not ask.
You ask
and do not receive
because you ask wrongly
to spend it
on your passions.
You adulterous people,
do you not know
that friendship
with the world
is enmity
with God?
Therefore,
whoever wishes
to be a friend
of the world
makes himself
an enemy of God.
Or do you suppose
it is to no purpose
that the scripture says
he yearns jealously
over the spirit
that he has made
to dwell in us,
but he gives
more grace.
Therefore,
it says,
God opposes
the proud
and gives grace
to the humble.
Submit yourselves,
therefore,
to God.
Resist the devil
and he will flee
from you.
Draw near to God
and he will draw
near to you.
Cleanse your hands,
you sinners,
and purify your hearts,
you double-minded.
Be wretched
and mourn
and weep.
Let your laughter
be turned
to mourning
and your joy
to gloom.
Humble yourselves
before the Lord
and he will
exalt you.
So what James does,
thank you.
What James does here
is he's highlighting
three enemies
that we're going to face
in the course
of these ten verses
and I want to take a look
at each one.
I want to pause.
Look at the verses
he's using to address
that enemy
and how can we make sure
that when we go to war
in conflict,
we're actually going
to war with conflict
and with the person
who benefits most
from conflict,
which is the devil himself.
He's the one
who sets goals
for division
and disagreement
in the body of Christ.
The first enemy
I want to look at here
is ourselves.
I won't read it again
but it's verses
one through three
where he's talking
about those desires.
We covered it
in the first session.
I just read it
when I read through
that passage
and this can be
the hardest thing
to recognize
in conflict
and I love
that it's where
James starts.
It's hard
because it's not
comfortable.
It's necessary
though
and therefore
it's good for us
to start
with us.
Going into conflict
if you knew
like in your
front of mind
knower
you like actively
knew
you were
the first enemy
in conflict
you probably
would behave
differently.
You wouldn't
raise your voice
you wouldn't
name call
you wouldn't
hold offense
you'd probably
begin with
confession.
Listen I'm
really upset
with what you
just did
and I know
that's because
of my
wicked heart.
I'm going
to try
to communicate
through this
wicked heart
as best I
can.
I'm aware
I'm the biggest
problem in this
right now.
Like that just
changes conflict.
You can actually
have a conversation
unless that person
really quickly
agrees with you
and says oh
you are the
biggest problem.
Yes thank
we finally
agree.
James highlights
what we're
loving what
our passions
are so I
asked before I
want to ask
again what
is it that you
are desiring
so much
even if it's
good or
wrong that
you should or
shouldn't desire
it that you're
willing to fight
for it.
Now guys
listen sometimes
the things that
come to mind
are really
obvious and
clear.
That we should
not desire it.
We're desiring
something that's
not good for us.
Maybe it's an
unhealthy or an
unbiblical
relationship in
our lives.
Maybe we're
striving for
control over a
situation because
we don't like how
God is handling
it.
Maybe we're in a
relationship that's
making demands on
our selfish heart
and we just don't
want to let go.
of the things that
we're selfish over.
Or maybe it's
something even more
obvious from
scripture so
clearly wrong.
We're trying to
protect an
extramarital affair
or we're giving
in to drug use
or other sinful
indulgences.
We fight to keep
them in obvious
opposition to the
will of God.
It's no wonder
we're in conflict.
The people that
you're in conflict
with may be the
ones most trying
to save you,
to rescue you.
You know,
Galatians 6,
they're coming
after the person
trapped in sin.
There's conflict
there.
There you're
obviously enemy,
number one.
You're the one
creating the
problems.
Okay?
Very few people I
think would argue
with that so I'm not
going to spend much
more time on that.
Let me move on.
I want to focus on
what happens when
we're in conflict
because we're loving
good things.
We're pursuing
good things.
Calvin summed it
up when he said
that the problem
is not so much
in that we desire
the wrong things
but that we desire
the right things
too much.
This is that
illustration of
peace in my home
with my kids
that I was telling
you about.
It's totally
appropriate for a
parent to desire
peace.
But when you
desire something
good and you're
willing to sin
to get it,
that's a problem.
That's enemy
number one
showing up.
Okay?
I've highlighted
two here.
I could have
picked any of
a thousand,
two thousand,
or more good
things we could
desire.
Let's use
respect as an
example.
And this could
be respect from
a professor,
from a friend,
from a parent,
from a sibling,
from a child,
a boss,
or a co-worker.
You desire to
be respected.
And that's good.
Like, don't give
that up.
Being born again
doesn't mean you
become a doormat.
It's right to
desire and even
work toward being
respected.
We don't want to
belittle it.
We don't want to
dismiss it.
But we don't want
to worship being
respected.
We don't want to
make respect our
first love.
We don't want to
have a pursuit of
respect that causes
us to forget we're
disciples.
Whatever scenario,
and I just laid out
about ten of them,
whatever scenario it
is, you're striving
to be respected,
or you're actively
being disrespected.
Let me say,
as an image bearer,
a child of God,
that God calls
those who bear
his image to be
respected.
That's a good thing
you're desiring.
But are you loving
it more than
your Christian
example in that
context?
I'm not telling
you you do.
I'm not making
judgments.
I'm just asking
questions.
Okay?
We want to track
the good thing of
respect, our desire
for it, such that
we don't fight and
quarrel over it.
We don't allow it
to wage war
within us.
Can you think of
a time when you
were sinned against
by being disrespected,
but your response
was just as sinful?
That's just a sign
that enemy number one
is on the scene.
It doesn't condemn
you to help.
We're just holding
a mirror up right
here.
It's important
when we want
something good
that we don't
allow the goodness
of that
to be some type
of excuse
for the sin
we commit
in wanting it.
You with me on that?
Let's look at
another thing.
Comfort.
In an ultimate
sense,
God loves comfort.
He's built us
for it.
He created
a sinless context
in Eden
and then
before He
set mankind
to work,
which He does
eventually,
He gives everybody
a day of rest.
That's how it started.
They were made
on day six.
They weren't
immediately put
into work.
They were put
into rest.
They were put
into comfort
and then commanded
by God
later as a result
of that being
the example
to build comfort
and rest
into the rhythm
of their lives.
And at the end
when we come
face to face
with Christ
and we hopefully
all hear the well done
good and faithful servant,
what does He say?
Come into my factory?
Come into my work?
No,
enter into my rest.
We're designed
for it.
But there are times
we're called to work.
We're not called
to worship comfort.
There are
in God's rhythm
of life
six days for work,
not six days
for comfort
and one day
for work.
There is a time
ultimately
when we enter
into an eternal rest,
but that time
is not now.
So we have to realize
if God,
even in a sinless context,
it's six days
of labor
and one day
of comfort,
we have to realize
that our desire
for comfort
each day
is probably
a bit out of proportion
with what God
has for us.
Maybe comfort
here is talking
about relational comfort,
freedom from work
or physical comfort.
You know,
is there going to be
air conditioning
in heaven
or is it even
going to be necessary?
Right?
We love having
air conditioning
in where we live
or heat.
Maybe that'd be
more appropriate
looking outside right now.
Heat.
Heat is needed
for comfort.
That's a good thing
to desire.
But we can't desire
relational,
situational,
or temporal
comfort
more than we desire
the pleasure
of the Lord,
the fear
of the Lord.
Okay,
this enemy number one,
even when we ask,
he says,
you don't have
because you don't ask.
Why would we not ask
the God of the universe
for help?
Because in that situation
we're living as though
we're the God of the universe
or we're living as though
the God of the universe
doesn't exist.
We're functionally atheists
in that relationship
or functionally atheistic
in that situation.
But then he goes on
to say
that if
you ask
and do not
get
because you ask
for the wrong reasons.
Have you ever
asked God
to do something
you know
he can't do
because you're asking
him to sin.
Lord,
will you just
just smite
that kid
just a little bit
just smite him.
Not too much
but you know
and the Lord said
well
I'm not answering
that one.
Right?
You ask
with the wrong motives.
Maybe you're asking
so that you can have
your idol of comfort
or your idol of respect
or your idol of money
or your idol of prestige.
And he's like
no, no, no, no, no.
If I wanted you
to have that stuff
I already would have
given it to you.
I've kept it from you
because it's not good
for you now
or you're not ready
to bear up
under the weight
of that blessing.
Okay?
We ask
with the wrong motives.
So
I've bumped
all the way down here.
What he's saying here
is that
the enemy of self
shows up
with what we bring
to the table.
we bring
these desires
these passions
these sins
and if we don't
recognize
that's the first enemy
Paul calls himself
the chief of sinners.
If we don't recognize
that about ourselves
by the time
we get there
we prioritize
that other person
as the first enemy
or that scenario
as the first enemy
and we have failed
to address
what we have
the most control over
which is our own thoughts
and our own heart
and taking it
before our own Savior
and letting him
change us
from the inside out.
We've got the most
influence in conflict
over ourselves.
So we start there
James starts there
with enemy number one.
So let me ask you
I've got a few questions
down there for you.
What do you desire
so much
you're willing
to sin
to get it?
Be specific here
on the second one.
What good thing
most threatens
your peace
and your faith?
Are you actively
keeping someone else
on the witness stand
when your own heart
deserves to be there?
I don't know
the answers
to those questions.
I hope they serve you
in sifting through this.
Let's look at
enemy number two.
It's friendship
with the world.
It says
beginning in verse four
there
do you not know
that friendship
with the world
is enmity
with God?
Therefore
whoever wishes
to be a friend
of the world
makes himself
an enemy of God.
Or do you suppose
it's to no purpose
that the scripture
says he yearns
jealously
over the spirit
that he has made
to dwell in us
but he gives
more grace.
Therefore
it says
God opposes the proud
and gives grace
to the humble.
It's important here
to know
what's not being said
here
before we glean
what is being said.
It's not talking
primarily
about loving
the things
of the world.
Secular music
secular television
it's not talking
about those things.
There's probably
some implications
of that
but that's not
primarily
what he's talking
about.
What he's talking
about here
is
loving the way
the world
thinks
approaching life
the way the world
approaches life.
He's talking
about friendship
with the world
as an economy
not so much
with all these
individual examples.
That friendship
with the world
living according
to the world's
economy
quid pro quo
things like that
that kind of
approach
to living
is actually
enmity
with God.
God
sent
Jesus
to save
people
from that
economy
of thinking
from that
problem
of sin
not to save
us
and then
send us
into that
economy
of sin
to uphold
it.
Okay
so if you're
a friend
of the world
you're never
really going
to identify
enemy number
one.
There's
absolutely
no cause.
There's
very little
benefit
in the world's
economy
to call
yourself
the biggest
problem.
That's not
going to
help you
advance.
That's not
going to
help you
prove yourself
right.
That's not
going to
clear your
reputation
with the
eyes of
unbelievers.
None of
those things
work so
you're not
going to
pursue
enemy number
one.
Right here
at enemy
number two
if you're
loving the
world
you've
already
missed
the biggest
problem
to address.
Okay
blame
and responsibility
for hardship
and conflict
they're always
ascribed to
others.
I don't
presume any
of you
are these
people but
do you
know people
like that
that they
seem to
constantly be
in crisis
but it's
never their
fault?
That's just
the way the
world thinks.
One of the
things Jesus
prayed for
his church
in John
17 was
that we
would be
in the
world
but
not of
it.
Well that's
what James
is mirroring
here.
we're
supposed to
love the
world
but not
be friends
with the
world.
And before
I hear the
haunting voice
of my friend
Jim Donahue
here,
our church's
evangelist,
that doesn't
mean we're not
supposed to be
friends with
people in the
world.
It's not that.
We're not
supposed to be
friends with
that way of
thinking,
with that
approach to
living.
So we ask
ourselves,
realizing we're
supposed to be
in the world
and not of
it,
and that
we're not
supposed to
have friendship
with the
world.
Here's a
question.
What shaping
influences most
form your
perspective of
the world?
And that
may be a
question you
have to ask
some friends
about yourself
because it
may be hard
to see this
in yourself.
What forms
my worldview?
Let me give
you a couple
common examples.
Okay?
The home I
grew up in.
That's not a
bad thing
necessarily.
It might
be.
But the
home you
grew up
in surely
has had
some shaping
influence on
how you
view the
world.
Your parents'
values,
what was
valued in
your home,
what was
valued in
if you're
a Christian
when you
were a
kid,
what was
valued in
that church.
That has
shaped your
world either
by it's
made its
imprint upon
me,
or I'm
living my
life to
never do
those things.
Either has a
shaping influence.
Another could
be aspirations,
whether they're
career or
educational or
bucket list.
You know,
aspirations in
life can
often shape
what we
value.
Prior hurts.
Whether it's
parental or
from some
other authority
or peer
hurts.
It may not
be anything
intensely
relational like
that.
It may be a
number of
career or
academic
failures.
There's three
different jobs
here I've
totally failed
at.
Now you've
got a
worldview
that's
being shaped.
Of course,
scripture should
be in there
too,
right?
Scripture
should be
the thing
that most
forms our
worldview,
our perspective
of the world.
But let me
just ask you,
not out loud,
but in the
reflections of
your own
heart,
what have
been the
most shaping
influence in
your life,
and have
they helped
you shape
a biblical
worldview?
If you
surround
yourselves
with people
who all
have that
worldview,
you're going
to think like
the people that
surround you.
So if you're
surrounded by
people who
all have
this dysfunctional
worldview,
but everybody
kind of shares
it in common,
you'll go
years and
years believing
you're right,
all the time
being wrong.
It's one of
the benefits
that's built
into the
command to
not forsake
the assembling
of ourselves.
Built into
that command
to have
fellowship
with one
another,
to encourage,
correct,
edify,
love one
another,
is that we
are shaped
by a common
worldview that's
in keeping
with the will
of God.
So being
shaped by our
community,
again,
is not a
problem.
The type
of community
you're shaped
by may be
the problem,
but that's
part of our
design.
That's why
God calls us
to be part
of a body
of Christ
locally,
tangibly,
so we can
build the
biblical
worldview
together.
Christians,
by the very
nature of
being pilgrims,
citizens of
another kingdom,
we are
strangers.
We are
called to
be different
from this
world.
We've been
given something
the world
doesn't have.
we have
the spirit
of the
living God
living within
us.
So when
we're talking
about conflict,
back to the
topic you came
to hear about,
when we're
talking about
conflict,
we've got to
realize what
often informs
our conflict
is our
friendship with
the world.
We think
like the world
thinks,
we do like
the world
does.
We may do
it with fewer
curse words,
so we feel
like we're
doing well.
But sin
that's more
polished is
just shinier,
it's not
holier.
Sinning in
a Christian
way is an
oxymoron.
Are you
with me on
that?
We can't
engage like
the world
engages.
We're called
to be
different.
We're
empowered
to be
different.
We are
designed
to be
different.
Malachi 4,
5-6
says,
Behold,
I will
send you
Elijah the
prophet before
the great
and awesome
day of the
Lord comes.
And listen
to this.
And he
will turn
the hearts
of fathers
to their
children and
the hearts
of children
to their
fathers,
lest I
come to
strike the
land with
a decree
of utter
destruction.
What's
happening
with the
coming of
Elijah is
that this
place where
there's often
enmity,
this father-son
relationship,
this parent-child
relationship,
there's going
to be peace.
Hearts get
turned toward
one another.
We saw
it in
Ephesians 2.
When Christ
is central,
the wall
gets divided.
That is
otherworldly.
That's not
friendship
with this
world.
So let me
ask you
these questions.
How is
the world
defining
your
expectations
for your
relationships?
Let me
ask that
differently.
Are you
willing to
take people
as they
are without
making
worldly
demands on
what they
should be
for you?
second,
do you
speak poorly
about those
who disagree
with you?
Like surely
there's a group
of friends
or family
that if you're
in a conflict
that this
thing may
come up.
When you
speak about
that person,
are you
carrying
Christian
ethics,
which is that
last call from
the last
session,
or are you
speaking about
them the way
the world
speaks about
people they
disagree with?
Here's a more
passive one that
we've got to be
careful of.
Do you tolerate
it when your
peers talk
poorly about
others?
Are you a
listening ear for
people sinning
about the people
they're in
conflict with?
Or do you
speak up for
Christian ethics?
Sorry, I keep
air popping into
that microphone.
Or do you
speak up for
Christian ethics?
These things are
friendship with
the world.
And when we're
there, we've
got to realize
it's not just,
oh yeah, there's
still worldliness
about me.
James puts it
in enmity
with God.
Now the
antidote, the
opposite of
friendship with
the world is
humility.
He said,
God opposes
the proud, but
gives grace to
the humble.
And so in
response to
our temptation
to be friends
with the world,
we need
humility to
realize God
knows better
than we do.
God's economy
is better than
the world's
economy.
That's the one
we're called to
live according
to.
So it leads
to this
question, do
we really
want the
power of the
gospel unleashed
in our lives?
If we do,
we'll pursue a
path of
humility.
We will
pursue a
path of
faithfulness.
We will
pursue a path
of friendship
with Christ,
abiding in
Christ, so
that the
fruit that
comes out of
us can flow
from the
vine, from
Christ himself.
The fruit of
the spirit that
we see in
Galatians 5 can
manifest in
our lives.
Friendship with
the world will
never manifest
love, joy,
peace, patience,
kindness, goodness,
faithfulness,
gentleness, and
self-control.
They won't.
Our abiding in
Christ generates
that.
And James
highlights this
for us when
he highlights
the dangers of
being a
friendship with
the world.
And then
enemy number
three.
You might
think it's the
devil.
He gets
mentioned in
this thing.
But I think
it's actually
something broader
than that.
In number
three here,
verses 7 to
10, James
is highlighting
the danger of
distance from
God.
Take a look at
what it says and
then I'll break
it down a little
bit.
Submit yourselves
therefore to
God.
Resist the
devil and he
will flee from
you.
Draw near to
God and he
will draw near
to you.
Cleanse your
hands, you
sinners.
Purify your
hearts, you
double-minded.
Be wretched
and mourn and
weep.
Let your
laughter be
turned to
mourning and
your joy to
gloom.
Humble
yourselves
before the
Lord and he
will exalt
you.
So just as we
look at that
verse, let me
make the case
that it's
broader than
just the
devil.
The devil
only gets
one sentence
in that, not
even a whole
verse.
He shares
verse 7 with
submit yourselves
therefore to
God.
So the devil's
a real enemy.
We talked
about that in
the last
session, right?
He's a real
enemy.
That was the
intro to this
session.
We talked
about it.
But his
commands are
resist the
devil, but
before that
submit yourselves
to God.
And after
that draw
near to God.
you know,
sometimes when
I'm talking
to my
kids, they're
all very
respectful of
me, but
sometimes they
can't help
themselves.
And I'll
get a
random, not
a frequent,
Lord willing,
but a random
eye roll.
And I'll
just pause.
I'll be
like, please
don't roll
your eyes
at me.
And what
do I hear
every time?
What do I
hear?
I wasn't
rolling my
eyes.
All right.
Then I
got to take
an excursus.
And I've
got to say,
okay, if you
were not
rolling your
eyes, why
would I tell
you to stop
rolling your
eyes?
Like, that's
what's happening
here.
Why would
you tell
people to
draw near to
God if they
were already
near to God?
Why would
you tell
people to
submit
themselves to
God if
they were
already submitting
themselves to
God?
The command
comes to
address a
problem.
The problem
is distance
from God.
Now, I
don't mean
like eternal
distance from
God.
I'm not
talking about
that.
But if we
are not
walking
closely with
God,
that in
and of
itself is
an enemy
to our
lives.
We're not
going to
care as
much about
the
affections
of the
Lord if
we are
not
stirring
our
affections
for the
Lord.
We're not
going to
care about
what matters
to God
if,
functionally
speaking,
he is
not
mattering
to us.
And so
part of
this fight,
this war
against
conflict,
is we've
got to
eliminate
the
functional
distance we've
allowed to
creep into
our
relationship
with the
Lord,
to whatever
degree it
exists.
Again,
you may
just be the
most faithful
person in
the state of
Massachusetts
walking with
Jesus.
Praise God.
I'm not
trying to
correct
everybody.
I'm just
holding out
for us.
If you find
conflict or
enmity or
bitterness or
anger is
growing in
your life,
this is a
place to
look.
How is
your walk
with the
Lord going?
Because he
gives us
power.
He gives
more grace.
He says
if we
humble
ourselves,
he will
exalt us.
He'll lift
us up.
We don't
have to
defend
ourselves.
He'll
lift us
up.
When our
rights are
challenged,
when our
independence
is at
risk,
when our
comfort is
in danger,
when respect
is lacking,
we instinctively
think the
answer is to
fight.
But when
our desires
are not
getting what
they want,
the Christian
doesn't murder.
The Christian
doesn't fight.
The Christian
doesn't contend.
The Christian
humbles himself.
And guys,
this is hard.
It's hard.
Like, you may
be thinking,
has this guy
ever been
wronged?
Has he ever?
I'm not telling
you what Rob
would do.
I'm just holding
out the word of
God to you.
I'm just telling
you what it
says.
I mean, in the
most respectful
way, you know,
deal with it.
It's what the
Bible says,
right?
We've got to
say, okay,
if that's the
call on us,
and I'm saying
it's too hard,
never mind,
I'm not going
to do it,
there's a
choice there
to say,
I see what
the Bible
clearly says,
I'm not going
to pursue it.
It's too hard.
We want to
go after
these enemies.
We want to
go after
the enemy
of self.
We want to
go after
the enemy
of friendship
with the
world.
We want to
go after
the enemy
of distance
from God.
Now, here's
the great
news.
This is not
all up to
us.
It says,
draw near
to God,
and what
does it
say next?
He will
draw near
to you.
Our grasp
on Christ
does not
determine
our
stability
and safety.
It's
his grasp
on us.
Yes,
we are
called
to press
toward
Christ.
We are
called
to pray.
We are
called
to obey.
We are
called
to be
faithful,
but
ultimately,
our
ultimate
hope
is not
that we
maintain
our
faithfulness,
but that
he
maintains
his.
It's
important
as you
see these
enemies,
and as
you see
James,
who
has
just a
ton of
commands
in
James,
you could
be tempted
to read
that book
like just
a five
chapter
to-do
list.
In one
sense,
it is.
It does
call us
to the
things we're
supposed to
be doing
as Christians,
but we've
got to
remember,
James is
in the
context of
the
redemptive
story,
that when
we could
do
nothing
to save,
God
saved.
And I
said in
the last
session,
effort,
study,
those
things
cannot
deliver
us
in
and
of
themselves,
but only
when they
are done
in
Christ,
with
Christ
central,
in the
power of
Christ,
and in
the
power of
his
example.
I'm
going to
take this
practical
example that
I have
here in
Romans 9
to 21.
I painted
it, I
think,
sufficiently
earlier.
I'm
going to
just
respect our
time here.
Let me
just highlight
some things
from
Romans
12,
9 to
21,
that I
didn't say
last time.
Let me
say one
thing about
it first.
I may
end up
saying the
whole thing
I was
planning to
say anyway.
I really
want to
commend to
you guys,
in the
next day,
maybe before
church,
even tomorrow,
just sit
down and
read Romans
12,
all the
way,
1 to
21,
read it
all.
And when
you get
to Romans
9,
sorry,
12,
9,
and it
has all
of its
directions
for
relationships,
slow down.
Let names
and faces
come into
mind with
each of
those
things.
Outdo
one another
in showing
honor.
Fear
the Lord.
So slow
down there
in the
beginning.
Am I
showing
honor?
What does
that even
mean?
What would
that look
like in
this
relationship,
in that
relationship?
And then
when you
get to the
reactive parts,
14 to
21 that we
covered
earlier,
what does
it mean
to overcome
evil with
good?
Okay,
see,
live peaceably
with all,
that's obvious.
What would
that look
like in
this really
difficult
situation?
Slow
down when
you're
reading it.
Romans
12,
9 to
21 is
kind of
a lab
experiment
for
everything
that we're
learning
today.
And you'll
start to
see some
parallels in
the instructions
Paul gives
us after
11 chapters
of exalting
the gospel
of Christ.
You'll see
parallels between
that and
what James
gives us
in chapter
4,
where he
doesn't spend
as much
time exalting
the gospel
of Christ.
You see
parallels there.
Allow the
glorious gospel
to inform how
you apply
these things.
And just
underscoring
chapter 12
verse 18,
a word on
this.
You can't
always live
at peace
with somebody
because that
requires two
people.
You can
live
peaceably
toward
somebody.
That just
requires one
person.
Such that
your chronic
posture is
to desire
peace with
this person
as soon as
they're ready
to move
toward it.
There may
be people,
and again,
let me share
this as a
caution.
There may be
people with
whom pursuing
peace requires
a lot of
counsel.
I don't mean
the two of you
going to
counseling.
If there's
been an
unsafe
situation you've
been in and
you're thinking
that's one of
the relationships
of applying
this teaching,
I think that's
right and good.
get counsel
because it's
different than
someone who
forgot to
bring a gift
to your
birthday party.
It's different
from someone
who gathered
a group of
friends to
go out to
dinner and
didn't invite
you.
Those are
major
substantial
injustices
that require
wisdom to
step into.
But let me
ask you these
questions to
close.
do you
believe that
the person
you're in
conflict with
is not
your enemy?
Are you
sufficiently
suspicious of
your contribution
to the
problem?
Are you
willing to
see yourself
as enemy
number one?
will you
consider how
much the
world shapes
your perspective
of conflict
and of
relationships?
Will you
take seriously
the call to
draw near
to God?
what we
learn by
studying these
three enemies
is that there
really is a
whole lot we
can do in
these conflict
situations
that can
avoid them,
resolve them,
or lessen
them.
So that
ultimate peace
between you,
you're living
ready for
peace,
which is all
you can be
responsible to
do.
And then you
trust God
for him
working on
the other
person.
Or people
being ready
for peace.
Alright,
James 4,
going to
war with
conflict,
fighting the
right enemies,
yourself,
friendship with
the world,
and distance
from God.