We're at 1 Corinthians chapter 7 and to put it bluntly it's about sex and the right use of sex where it fits in terms of God's purposes and in relationships.
And the passage tonight talks about it in a much more positive way than where we were last week when we were talking about pornea or immorality in 1 Corinthians chapter 6.
So the tone is entirely different.
I figure when you're talking about sex you don't really need an opening illustration.
You can just start.
But I did, I opened up the paper the other day or read online.
I think it was News Limited, that fantastic source of news.
And there was a story about some bloke who's been living in Bali for the last three months and to put it really crudely he's managed to sleep his way through 100 different women and his goal is to achieve three women in the one night.
And in terms of an example of pornea or immorality, it's a fantastic example of pure selfishness.
And I think what I want to say tonight is that the journey from pornea, immorality, to right relationship before the Lord Jesus Christ and the beauty of what he calls us to is a journey from selfishness, utter selfishness, to selflessness.
And in the end it is rooted in the cross of the Lord Jesus Christ.
So right through this series Steve's picked up the idea that the way of the cross transforms our world view and that's exactly what we're going to see tonight when we talk about sex.
We're talking about the cross of the cross of the cross of the cross of the Lord Jesus Christ transforming the way that we do relationships.
And it's a movement from selfishness to selflessness.
Steve said some things last week in his message which I thought were just pure inspirational.
He spoke about marriage with a very high view in terms of one flesh relationship and what it stands for and what it means.
And I think I'm quoting him.
I took notes while he was saying this but it might sound a mouthful but listen carefully.
It's a one flesh.
Marriage is a one flesh relationship.
A one flesh relationship is embodied in personhood, in people.
And it's a place where personal transformation is going on.
People are changed.
And the bar is raised very high for a sexual relationship in marriage.
It deeply involves the full person.
There is a self-giving and a self-disclosure.
It's not driven by self-gratification.
And he said that sex is a radical self-donation.
It means being vulnerable with your entire life to the other person and not independent of them.
And so they become, you grow into this life of oneness, deep personal relationship and sharing.
You don't lose yourself.
You are radically supplemented by the other person and changed and transformed as you seek to serve Christ together.
And my words, I want to say that there is deep safety and security in a relationship like that.
It is deeply fulfilling.
It's entirely consistent with other scriptures.
So when you go to Ephesians 5 where a husband and wife submit to one another out of reverence for Christ,
they take up different roles within a marriage relationship, wives to husbands as to the Lord,
husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church.
You get a picture of the same selfless giving going on and submission to Christ even as we submit to one another.
And so there's its extraordinarily beautiful picture where marriage is driven by the sacrificial love of Christ for us all.
Now I want you to notice the sheet.
You should have noticed already.
You've been given that sheet tonight.
On one side is the text of the scripture.
On the other side is notes.
And I'm doing this in three bits sort of.
The first bit I'm just talking for a bit.
The second bit I'm going to take us into the notes and scan across the whole chapter.
And the third bit I'm going to stop and we're going to have questions.
Because I think by you being able to ask questions tonight,
it's a way of applying what we're talking about here in the scripture
and maybe raising issues that are particular issues that you see for yourselves or in people around about you.
The Corinthian church started four years before this letter when Paul came preaching to them.
There wasn't a church there before he came along and started preaching.
And as he preached the cross of Christ,
it began to transform a body of people who had heard the gospel for the very first time.
It's an immature church.
Last week Steve said he,
Paul rebuked them really severely for not being as mature as they ought to have been,
even at four years old.
And he's angry with them.
He was angry with them because they were putting up with the type of immorality
that anybody outside the church could look in.
Anybody who's not even a Christian and say,
you're kidding, they do those sorts of things?
So their problem was not so much the immorality,
but the lack of church discipline.
They weren't able to say to one another,
this should not be.
And then in chapter 6,
these are people who have been converted
out of a very licentious culture.
You know, anything goes.
Lots of sexual options and lots of permissiveness.
Young men would have been encouraged to pursue sexual gratification from adolescence
when their bodies start to work sexually from puberty
until their mid to late 20s,
so maybe nearly 15 years before they actually get married.
And homosexual induction by older men with younger men
was common in the Roman Empire.
Temple prostitutes were the norm.
You could go to the temple and you could have sex
and you could call it worship.
I grew up in an extended family culture
which said it was okay for men to sow their wild oats,
you know, have sex wherever they like.
And then we also had this double standard
that sex and bodies were dirty
and somehow you ought to stay pure.
Very confusing.
And in chapter 6,
Paul effectively says,
we don't have to keep apologising
for the life that we have been brought from
because of the work of Christ
in transforming us.
We don't have to continue to bear shame
because of who we were
and what we did.
He tells us that we have been made clean
by the cross of the Lord Jesus Christ.
So in verse 11, chapter 6,
we were like that,
but we have been washed.
It says you were washed,
you were sanctified,
you were justified
in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ
and by the Spirit of God.
Corinth's a place which is shaped by Greek culture.
Steve talked about that last week,
hedonistic culture
where anything and everything goes.
Their slogan was,
everything's permissible for me.
Cross of the Lord Jesus Christ,
I'm set free.
And Paul's response,
but not everything is beneficial.
And as with any culture,
new believers carried the culture
that they were in,
into the church
where the gospel would now do
its ongoing work of change
and transformation.
In other words,
when you come to Christ,
you're not necessarily transformed
out of everything
that was the former life.
And there's a journey
which goes on
as you wrestle with
what it means to have come to Christ
and the change
that he now brings about
in your life.
And so it's not unreasonable
to think that Corinth
was a church with people
in all sorts of relationships.
Maybe widows
who hadn't married again
but were sleeping with widowers
or people who'd taken a fancy
to them.
Or unmarried people.
So when it says virgins here,
we're not necessarily talking
people who haven't had sex.
We're talking about
unmarried people.
And perhaps unmarried people.
Virgins sleeping with
boyfriends,
girlfriends.
Or married people
engaging in sexual relationships
outside of marriage.
That's the way
the world of Corinth was
before the gospel came.
And it's not that different
from our world.
The guys were liberated back then.
The girls weren't.
In our culture,
the girls have been set free
in some measure.
It's not real freedom,
but the age of contraception
and having control
over your own bodies
and stuff like that
means that young women
are able to behave
almost like young men.
The world calls it freedom.
The Bible portrays it
as a slavery.
And he said last week
that sex matters.
It's much more than just
another bodily function.
It's not just food in
and food out.
In the end,
in 1 Corinthians 6,
he makes it very clear
that he says,
Do you not know
that he who unites himself
with a prostitute
is one with her in body?
For it is said
the two will become
one flesh.
But he who unites himself
with the Lord
is one with him in spirit.
Flee from sexual immorality.
All other sins
a man commits
are outside his body.
But he who sins
sexually sins
against his own body.
Do you not know
that your body
is a temple
of the Holy Spirit
who is in you
whom you have received
from God?
You are not your own.
You were bought
at a price.
Therefore,
honour God
with your body.
He says sex matters
and wrong use of it
causes great harm.
If sex was just
another bodily function,
then why not relieve
that need
by going down
for a night of worship
at one of the local
Corinthian temples
with the prostitutes,
your wife's got a headache
and she will be glad
not to be put
under pressure.
But he says here
to sin sexually
is to sin against
your own person,
to damage your sense
of self.
Plenty of that
in the media this week
and every other week
for the last yonks.
one tragic story
after another
of teenagers
being violated
by media personalities
or trusted religious figures.
The children
didn't sin.
They didn't ask for it.
And there is
one story
after another
about the impact
on their person
by these crimes.
Alcoholism,
eating disorders,
fear,
blame,
promiscuity,
many young people
have been greatly harmed
and they have carried
that harm
into older life
and relationships.
And one
headiness defender
sits there in court
the other day
and says it takes
two to tango
and after all
I only thought
I gave them
a good time
and they are enjoying
what we are participating in.
terrible,
terrible distortion
of something
which is
a very,
very good gift
of God
when used
according to
the maker's instructions.
The cross of Christ
radically transforms
our relationships.
I joked this morning
I said
I went to King's Cross
on Friday
to do some research
for this sermon
and I did.
I did.
I went to visit
my friend Ed Vaughan
who's the minister
at St John's Darlinghurst
which is right there
at the cross
and I had heard
a story through the week
of a marriage,
a wedding
that he took
last Saturday
and I heard it
from a very dear friend
from a long way back
and I know Ed really well
and I went to him
to say look
I was told
what a fantastic service
you took
but it's an amazing story
of the grace of God
the couple
that were married
last Saturday
the woman
was in
the Bible study
I went to
25, 30 years ago
I don't even remember
and she went
to Bible college
and at Bible college
went to SMBC
and studied there
for a while
Sydney Missionary
Bible College
was in a
relationship
with someone
I don't mean
an inappropriate
relationship
but in a relationship
with someone
that looked like
they might marry
and then something
happened
the wheel fell off
and it just
didn't go anywhere
and almost
on the rebound
she took up
with another fellow
that everybody
who knew her
just thought
this is a disaster
and she was married
and within two years
she was divorced
20, 25 years
has gone by
she's working
in Christian ministry
in the eastern suburbs
and she is diagnosed
with terminal cancer
that has come
quite rapidly
upon her
now what's
actually happened
in the couple
of months
or period of time
just before this
is she's somehow
been back in
communication
with the man
that she might
have married
25 years before
who's gone
to the other
side of Australia
and in the course
of communication
she then communicates
with him
and says
I'm dying
and this is
what's happened
and his immediate
response was
to leave
his work
and to say
to her
I've always
loved you
I still
loved you
and I am
coming back
to care for you
until you die
and they were
married in front
of 200 people
last Saturday
who were just
joyous and tearful
at the same time
and I don't know
about you
but the story
for me
just engaged
my heart
because it was
pure selflessness
not selfish
I'm going into
this for what
I can get out
of it
but it was
such an expression
of the servant
heart of God
that we see
in Christ
in this man's
response to this
woman
and it's even
more beautiful
than that
for lots of
reasons
but she's
obese
the cancer
treatment
has destroyed
her body
and she
bought a
wedding dress
and she
grew out
of the
wedding dress
and needed
another one
before the
wedding
so in
terms of
the beauty
of the
world
she's
probably
nothing
to look
at
but in
terms of
the inner
beauty
which is
radiated
in Christ
this was
something
which was
very very
very special
that happened
and continues
to go on
so when
you get
to
Corinthians
move beyond
immorality
and you
move into
what do
you do
with sex
where does
it fit
in terms
of God's
kingdom
and God's
plan
and God's
purposes
and Paul
brings them
back to the
way of the
cross
and as he
goes into
chapter 7
there's a
very distinct
turn that
goes on here
in the text
this is the
first time
this happens
in Corinthians
but he says
now for the
matters that
you wrote
about
he turns
his attention
for what
he wants
to say
and he's
now responding
to some
stuff that
they've asked
him about
and he quotes
them
it's not that
obvious in the
English
but he's actually
quoting them
so when it
says here
it's good
for a man
not to
marry
he's not
saying it's
good for a
man not
to marry
he's quoting
them
they've gone
back and said
to him
so is it
better for a
man not
to marry
in light of
the immorality
that's here
in this
world
and that's
a really hard
thing to
understand
and even
when you read
the commentaries
on this
they go
different ways
one of the
ways that the
commentators go
is they say
like it's an
aesthetic response
it's sort of
like I'm going
to try and live
the pure holy
lifestyle now
rather than get
my hands dirty
with immorality
and sex and all
that sort of
stuff
no
but you do
see that
I had a
friend
he's not a
friend really
someone I
knew
who's very
high up in
the Hare
Krishna movement
and when he
was about 25
we grew up
parallel to
one another
knew one
another
at the end
of high
school he
became a
Hare Krishna
and he's
risen in
the movement
I remember
he got
married
I think
he's now
on about
his third
marriage
but he
got married
and he
said
we believe
that sex
is purely
for procreation
so we only
come together
and have sex
and make love
in our marriage
when we're
trying to have
a child
we don't do
it for
enjoyment
Roman
Catholic
priests
at their
ordination
are asked
this question
in the
presence of
God and
his church
are you
resolved
as a sign
of your
interior
dedication
to Christ
to remain
celibate
for the
sake of
the kingdom
and in
lifelong
service
to God
and mankind
two of
my friends
resolved
not to
have sex
on the
night of
their
marriage
because
they
wanted
to spend
the night
in prayer
to God
I never
really thought
it was my
place to
ask how
they got
on
but their
desire
was to
lay aside
their
desires
and give
themselves
to the
Lord
on that
night
and I
don't want
to criticise
them for
doing that
but I
think I
want to
say and
I think
Paul says
here
you're not
more holy
by taking
a disposition
like that
and in fact
in the
opening words
he actually
says yeah
husband and
wife might
decide not
to have
sex for a
little bit
just so they
can pray
but make
sure it's
not too
long
and no
I'm not
prescribing
it I'm not
teaching it
as something
that you
should do
so that's
the ascetic
type response
and he's
not endorsing
it
but there is
another way
you can read
this if you
understand the
immorality that
they've come
from and if
you understand
the people
asking these
questions have
been in all
sorts of
messy places
in terms of
sex
they might
just be
saying so we
shouldn't be
sleeping with
girls
we shouldn't
be doing
the barley
thing
and he
will come
in now
and teach
about that
and now I
want to turn
I think to
that sheet
which I've
called my
mud map
and if you
need to know
what a mud
map is
don't even
bother I'll
explain it
later
but the
green line
is sort of
verses 1
to 40
of 1
corinthians
7
and you're
going to
see this
isn't going
to take
very long
I'm not
going to
take ages
to go
through 40
verses
but above
the line
this whole
section
breaks into
three
the first
16 verses
are addressed
to people
who are
either married
or who have
formally been
married
so a married
person is
someone who's
happily married
somebody who's
unhappily married
and a
formally married
person is
somebody who
is widowed
or perhaps
divorced or
whatever it
is
they're not
specifically
mentioned
the middle
sections about
circumcision and
slavery and
that at first
glance you think
what's that doing
in the middle of
this stuff on
sex and the
third part
really it's to
some of the
people at
Sunday night
churches to
people who
are not yet
married haven't
been married
and so you've
got my green
fences there you've
got you know
people who are
in a marriage
relationship and
sex is part of
it or not part
of it and then
you've got people
who haven't been
married yet and
sex is part of
it or not part
of it and
sometimes when
you're in one of
those places you
look over the
fence and think
oh it looks
better over there
I'd like to be
getting some of
what they're
getting I'd be
really interested
to try that out
and see how that
works and I
don't want to
I think that's a
very normal type
of response for
all of us to be
interested in these
things and how it
works and how it
goes on so if
you come back
again to the
first section
sex and the
married and the
formerly married
you've got four
sections in there
you've got he talks
to married couples
and then he talks
to widows and
then he talks to
unhappily married
people that's people
who might be
considering divorce
and then he speaks
to people who are
married to someone
who's not a
Christian so somebody
who's married to
not a believer and
he's got things to
say to each of them
so let me just read
a little bit and
that because I want
to get to the end
verse 2
since there is so
much immorality
each man should
have his own
wife and each
woman her own
husband the
husband should
fulfill his
marital duty to
his wife and
likewise the wife
to her husband
the wife's body
does not belong to
her alone but also
to her husband
and in the same
way the husband's
body does not
belong to him
alone but also
to his wife
don't deprive
each other except
by mutual consent
and for a time so
that you may devote
yourselves to prayer
and then come
together again so
that Satan will not
tempt you because of
your lack of self
control
and on it goes
let me tell you
that most men read
that passage and
go wacko the
wife's body belongs
to me
and I'm not sure it
works in reverse
quite the same
and let me tell
you that there
are some
evangelical
Christian
publications
written by
friends of ours
who have written
if you can't
control yourself
sexually solve
the problem by
getting married
and let me tell
you that that is
a really crass
and wrong
understanding of
what is written
here because
it's not just
people who aren't
married who
haven't got a
sexual relationship
people can be
married and in a
sexual relationship
and still not
satisfied so what
do you do go and
get more sex from
outside the marriage
of course he's not
saying that here
but can you see that
if you take that
sort of turn if you
if you grab hold of
this passage and say
see what the little
woman should be giving
me and she's not
you have turned from
a selfless stance to
a selfish stance
because the question
now becomes about
me and what I get
out of this
relationship and what
is due to me
selflessness to
selfishness
it's hard for young
blokes I can speak
as a man I can't
speak as a woman I'm
glad I can't speak as
a woman but I will
speak as a man
and guys are
initiators when it
comes to sex often
and there's something
about how we're
wired that that's how
we are guys are
interested in the
female form guys are
drawn to particular
forms of pornography
that women aren't
necessarily drawn to in
the same way but some
of that stuff's
changing and guys can
be very big in terms
of thinking about sex
and as a young man not
married it's really easy
to think like I can I
want to get married
because I want to be
able to enjoy that
sort of stuff and I
think I'm just saying
if that's where we're
working from in terms
of mindset we're
working from a selfish
place where it is all
about us and what we're
going to get and
without regard to the
other person coming as
the selfless man looking
to serve this woman who
I'm going to take as my
life partner who will say
yes to me as I say yes
to her to serve before
the Lord Jesus from this
day forward and forever
more as long as God
gives us breath on this
planet.
So sex can distort our
thinking in really
unhelpful ways.
It becomes the goal
rather than the
relationship and the
person and we live in
that distorted
environment and I have
experienced some of the
distortion of that
environment and it ends
up having to be worked
out in your marriage.
It's not a great thing to
bring to your marriage.
But I think he upholds
sex as a wonderful thing
given by God but he
takes it out of the
Corinthian world environment
where you can get it
anywhere and he brings it
inside a marriage live
before the cross of the
Lord Jesus Christ and at
the same time as he does
that with sex and marriage
he also affirms singleness
as a really great thing.
So I know when you come
into youth group and
young adult ministry
sometimes the big
questions are will I
marry?
Will I have a life
partner?
And some of the
attitudes that lie in
the background and
aren't helpful attitudes
are attitudes like I'm
not complete unless I am
married, unless I am in
relationship.
And right through this
passage the apostle
affirms the goodness of
singleness in its own
right as opposed to
marriage.
It's a counter-cultural
value.
Steve told me the other
day that with regard to
widows in the Roman
Empire if a woman was
widowed she was only
allowed to remain a
widow for two years or
she was fined if she
hadn't remarried.
So to affirm singleness
is actually to affirm a
counter-cultural value and
say this is a state before
God which is complete and
whole and valid and from
which the Lord Jesus
Christ can be fruitfully
served.
I think he's really
careful not to put
singleness over marriage or
marriage over singleness and
yet at the same time when you
get down to the very end he
will say that there are a lot
of advantages to singleness
in terms of serving Christ.
Might get to that in a
minute.
I'd like to get to that in a
minute.
So when you look at the
sheet, the mud map, the
lines below are the
separation between different
places in life that we
might find ourselves.
Verses 10 to 11 is probably
a really important one.
In most of those there's a
place for being content.
The one that's different are
maybe people who are
considering divorce.
So he's speaking, not
saying everything that there
is to be said about divorce
but he's speaking to people in
church who could be
considering divorce and he's
saying divorce is not the
way out of marriage.
If you're going to separate
for a time if things are
really tough and sometimes
in a marriage they are
really tough but don't
separate thinking I can just
change horses and go to
someone else.
Separate with the intention
of reconciliation or remain
single.
But it's speaking to the
devious mind, the person
who's manipulating here to
try and get out of marriage
because it's just not
working and he's saying no
and he has the Lord's
authority in that.
There's some wonderfully
reassuring stuff.
There's people here who are
married to unbelievers.
I'm going to say to you
tonight if you're a believer
don't marry an unbeliever.
But if you have married an
unbeliever and it's by your
own choice then be reassured
here by what's said.
Or if you've become a
Christian along the way
after maybe starting marriage
with both of you not
knowing the Lord and then
one of you comes to the
Lord the question that gets
asked is should I get out of
this relationship because
it's not really holy before
the Lord.
And the answer from the
passage is so clear.
Stay in it if your partner
is willing to live with you
because you have a
sanctifying influence and
impact on your spouse and
on your children.
You have an influence.
You bring the gospel good to
bear in this marriage in
which you live and before
God it is a valid marriage
and a place where you
ought to remain and find
contentment.
And that's the theme that
runs right through here.
So if you look at the
sheet the mud map it's sort
of a violet colour but right
through in every circumstance
here there is the notion
of contentment like being
content where you are.
And I think that makes sense
of the middle bit because he
goes off and talks about
circumcision and slavery and
says if you've been
circumcised you don't need
to be uncircumcised.
And any guy thinking about
that goes well that's good
because that only sounds
painful and I don't even
know how you do it.
And if you're a slave there's
a sense of contentment.
If you've got an opportunity
to come out of slavery we'll
take the opportunity but
otherwise be content.
And that feeds into the
next bit from verse 25 on
where it says if you're bound
to a wife don't seem to be
loosed.
Don't seek to be loosed.
And if you're not married
don't seek to be bound.
In other words be content in
the stage of life that you're
in.
And I think when you look at
that part when you're in
verses 25 to 40 you get a
picture there that maybe
helps us in young adult and
youth ministry because as I
said before you know how
sometimes you think this is
all about pairing up and
there's all sorts of
acronyms out there for
hatching and matching and
dispatching and it's obvious
at this stage of life when
people do marry they do come
together they do get
interested in one another
there's something really
nice about all that there's
nothing wrong with all of
that.
But sometimes people come to
that driven like really
needy I've got to be
married.
If I haven't got a
relationship I'm not
complete.
And I think what he's
urging here is a
contentment in where we
are and actually you make
yourself a more presentable
marriage prospect by being
secure and content in
serving the Lord in the
state of life that you're
in.
And sometimes people who
come across as really
needy are people who come
across as maybe carrying
problems and difficulties
and setting themselves up
for going into a
relationship which is a
really bad relationship for
them.
But throughout this section
see I haven't gone into the
detail of the passage I'm not
reading that again but he's
really affirming that if you
do get married it's not a
sin.
If you do enter into a
relationship a marriage
relationship and sex is part
of that it's a normal part
of that it's not a sin it's
not to be despised it's not
unholy it is not less.
But if you are a young
person or an older person and
you're not married and you are
content in that place
firstly saying be content with
who you are and where you are
be content in your singleness and
he will add to it even more
because he will say
he will say that there are
distinct advantages in the
single life.
Married people have troubles.
Anybody who's married here my
wife confirmed this very readily
for me this morning but married
people have to sort things out
between themselves.
It's not always pure bliss.
One high bedroom high to
another is life you know in the
terms of the world it's just not
quite like that.
But when it's working there is a
deep place of security and comfort
and things that God does give.
And marriage itself is like the
world itself it's coming to an end.
Everything's winding down and I
often say that when I marry
somebody sometimes people get
upset with me for this but the
only way a good marriage will end
is sadly.
It's going to come to an end with
the death of one of the spouses.
And marriage is not eternal it
doesn't go into eternity so when
people say I can't wait to be
reunited in heaven well there is a
sense of being reunited in heaven
with the body of believers and
face to face with the Lord.
But Jesus himself says you don't
understand the scriptures to the
Sadducees in heaven there won't be
marriage or being given in
marriage.
Because they've come to Jesus and
asked a really tricky question.
Jesus there's this woman she's been
married to seven different men
whose wife is she going to be in
heaven.
Well life is pretty complicated and
there are people like that and that
question stands.
Well Jesus says in heaven there's no
marriage or being.
So marriage itself is going to
finish.
It's a temporary relationship.
And it's going to end sadly and
there's going to be problems and
heartache and perhaps that problem
and heartache won't just be in your
own relationship it will be with your
children and the challenges of life
that come to you through those
things.
So he's saying there are reasons for
the single life you're not distracted
by the things of married life and you
are freer to serve the Lord in those
ways.
But he's very careful I think not to
exalt singleness over marriage or
marriage over singleness but he will
validate both.
So I think the aha even since I preached
this this morning the aha for me is
the journey from chapter 6 of 1
Corinthians to chapter 7 is this
journey from porneia immorality
selfishness to a journey of in
relationship now of selflessness that you
see in chapter 7.
And it's like this whole body of
people that have been converted out of
the world they carry all the world
with them they've come from all sorts
of stuff that if you had to put it up
on the projector and show us in church
tonight for any of us we'd be
embarrassed by.
But made clean justified sanctified
washed new beginning and in this new
beginning it's a journey from selfishness
to selflessness which is the way of the
cross of the Lord Jesus Christ
the selflessness of Christ
transforming our world view on the
place of sex and making us content with
who we are and where we are in life right at
this moment.