Today, we're going to be continuing the series of Colossians, and I have the privilege of preaching on Colossians 3, 18 to 4, 1.
Now, really quickly, I know that there's a lot of people in here who have been married for longer than I have been,
who have probably been married for longer than I've been alive.
But one thing to remember is that truth is timeless.
And that wisdom is not just giving to age.
It's giving to all freely from God's.
And so first, I just want to go through a brief introduction and go through kind of what Paul's theology has been leading up to right now.
Right. So Paul explains to the Colossians with different words that we are we are in Christ.
Right. The old man.
Now we are the new man.
So just a few verses.
If you want to turn with me, Colossians chapter one, verse 21 and 22.
Once you were alienated and hostile in your minds, expressed in your evil actions.
But now he has reconciled you by his physical body through his death to present you holy, faultless and blameless before him.
Colossians 2, 6 to 7.
So then, just as you receive Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, being rooted and built up in him, established in the faith, just as you were taught and overflowing with gratitude.
Colossians 2, 20.
If you died with Christ to the elements of this world, why do you live as if you still belong to this world?
Why do you submit to the regulations?
Right.
Colossians 3, 1 to 4.
If you have been raised with Christ, seek the things above where Christ is seated at the right hand of God.
Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.
For you died and your life is hidden with Christ and God.
When Christ soothes, your life appears, then you will also appear with him in glory.
And then, I'll do this one last.
Colossians 3, 8 and 3, 12.
Right?
3, 8.
But now, put away all the following, anger, wrath, malice, slander, and filthy language from your mouth.
And then, 3, 12.
Therefore, as God's chosen ones, holy and dearly loved, put on compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.
Right?
All of this.
You were once lost, alienated from God.
You were once evil, slanderers, malicious.
But now, all these different things.
Right?
So, Paul is just driving home this point.
And now, we're kind of in application.
Right?
We've been in application mode for a while now that Paul is giving.
But, really, he's honing in here on Colossians 3, 18 to 4, 1 on our homes.
Right?
What does this theology of the old self look like in our homes?
What does it look like now that we're in Christ?
Right?
What should it look like?
So, I'll read that really quickly.
I'll start at verse 17.
And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
Husbands, love your wives, and don't be bitter toward them.
Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.
Fathers, do not exasperate your children so that they won't become discouraged.
Slaves, obey your human masters in everything.
Don't work only while being watched as people pleasers, but wholeheartedly fearing the Lord.
Whatever you do, do it from the heart.
That's something done for the Lord and not for people, knowing that you will receive the reward of an inheritance from the Lord.
You serve the Lord Christ, for the wrongdoer will be paid back for whatever wrong he has done, and there's no favoritism.
Masters deal with their saves justly and fairly, since you know you too have a master in heaven.
So the sermon is titled, Priority, Preeminence, and Perseverance.
So verse 17 is an important verse for the backdrop of the rest of what Paul is going to say in our homes.
And whatever you do, in word or in deed, do everything in the name of the Lord, right?
This section for Christ's preeminence in our homes, right?
In everything that we do, in word or in deed, do all in the name of Christ.
Right?
So in these following verses, there's three relationship pairs that Paul mentioned, right?
Wives and husbands, children and fathers, slaves and masters.
And a footnote here to just think about is that kind of the leaders of these relationships are not put first, right?
Wives are put before husbands.
Children are put before fathers.
Slaves are put before masters in the way that Paul presents it.
And it's kind of these three pairs that I'm going to focus on in interpreting the scripture and then give some application points, right?
So first, wives are called to submit to their husbands, right?
This submission is voluntary submission.
It's not subservience.
And what is that difference, right?
Well, subservience is willingness to obey without question and the condition of being less important than someone or something else, right?
Submission is voluntary.
It's taken on yourself to come under the vision of that person that you're following or that thing that you're following, right?
Wives voluntarily come under their husband.
They're not lesser than.
It's equal in value, dignity, and worth, right?
But Paul says, right, in the following verse, the manner of your submission, right?
What is the manner of your submission?
It's as it is fitting in the Lord, right?
Another way you could say this is to submit in a manner that is appropriate for those who are in the Lord.
It's not saying follow your husband as you would the Lord, right?
Your husband is not the Lord.
As those who are in the Lord follow your husbands, right?
If your husband is telling you, demanding you to sin, that's not appropriate for one who is in the Lord.
So the manner of this submission is as it is fitting in the Lord, right?
So wives, what is your submission like, right?
What should it be like, right?
Christ is the one that is our head.
Christ is the one that is your head, right?
If we think about a giant organization, right?
Like Favorite or Garmin.
You have these CEOs, right?
You have the COO.
You have the director of operations.
Then you have the branch manager.
Then you have the manager.
Then you have the supervisor.
And then you have me.
I am not talking to the CEO.
I'm talking to my supervisor, right?
I'm not relating to my CEO in any way.
But in this regard, every relationship that is mentioned here is related back to Christ.
Who's the head of everything?
My relationship at work is cut off at my supervisor.
I'm not going to her boss and complaining.
It's cut off right there.
Though there is some trickling down that happens from a CEO.
But that relationship is cut off right there.
Here, wives are submitting to their husbands because of Christ, right?
So how does submission relate to Christ?
How does it, right?
Christ is actively in obedience to the Father, right?
He is the perfect form of submission.
Your submission should be after Christ's submission.
Who came willingly on behalf of his Father to save the lost sheep of Israel.
To save lost Gentiles.
That is perfect submission.
Submission is hard, right?
We see Jesus weeping in the garden.
Father, not my will, but your will be done, right?
Submitting himself to the Father.
What is your submission like?
Are you submitting to your husbands as it is fitting unto the Lord?
Do you follow your husbands into sin?
Wives, are you submitting to your husbands out of fear of the Lord?
Or is it more duty?
You have to do this.
When your husband is not leading you,
are you just taking the reins?
Or are you trying to get his attention?
Hey, you need to be leading in this.
All right.
You should be in submission even if your husband is not leading and not taking the reins.
Does that make sense?
Hopefully.
Verse 19.
Keep it moving.
Husbands, love your wives and don't be bitter towards them.
Love holds it all together.
Right?
I mean, so many passages would come to your mind in regards to love.
In John 3.16,
For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son.
Right?
Thinking of 1 Corinthians 13.1-3.
If I speak in regards to the gift,
if I speak in human or angelic tongues,
but do not have love,
I'm a noisy gong or a playing cymbal.
If I have the gift to prophesy
and understand all mysteries and knowledge,
and I have all faith and I can move mountains,
but I do not have love,
I'm nothing.
If I give away all my possessions,
and I give over my body in order to boast,
but I do not have love,
I gain nothing.
Right?
Love is so important.
It is the most important thing in a marriage,
and it's what Paul commands husbands to take charge of.
Right?
Paul writes in Colossians 3.14,
Above all, put on love,
which is the perfect bond of unity.
Right?
Love unifies a family.
But he commands husbands to do that.
Husbands are meant to be the glue to their family.
Without love,
without love from a husband,
there's chaos in a family.
Right?
There's no unity in a family.
There's disorganization.
Right?
We see wives start taking leads,
start taking charge in all this,
which is wrong.
You could ask the husband,
hey, how are you doing in loving your wives?
How are you doing in loving your kids?
So, what is love?
Right?
Biblical love is not defined simply by emotional or even sexual terms.
It is to be defined by the will and action of the one who is willing to consider the other object as important.
Right?
So, not self-serving.
It's considering another person more important than themselves.
Right?
Acting on behalf of that other person.
Right?
In a modern context,
love is this emotional rush.
Right?
That's not biblical love.
Biblical love is an action.
Helping the other person.
Not thinking selfishly about yourself.
And putting their needs before yours.
Right?
And then,
and then,
Paul continues,
and uses the word harsh or bitter here as the opposite of love.
Right?
Husbands,
love your wives and don't be harsh or bitter towards them.
Right?
And this word bitter is not like,
you bitter old woman.
Right?
It's not like that.
It's actually harsh.
It reflects a general evil and sinful intention that a husband has towards a wife.
Right?
In Romans 13,
it says,
sorry,
in Romans 3,
14,
it says,
those who are filled with cursing and bitterness have no fear of God.
Right?
This,
this,
this cursing,
this bitterness that we feel towards our wife is condemned.
Um,
you have no fear of God when you're acting like this towards your wife.
Um,
and there's,
this,
this happened a little bit ago with Sarah and I,
where I had asked her to give me a massage because my back was really hurt.
Right?
Um,
and I was like,
can you give me a massage?
It was like 10 or 11 o'clock.
She was like,
I'm really tired.
I just want to go to bed.
I was like,
could you just serve me?
You should serve me.
Like,
why do you just want to go to bed?
Like,
could you,
she's like,
I'm so tired.
I'm like,
could you just joyfully serve me?
Like,
you know what?
You just say no,
just say no.
She was like,
no.
And I got so bitter.
And,
uh,
you know,
I went and grabbed my massage gun and I massaged myself for like 10 minutes while my wife is trying to sleep.
And I'm like,
this will keep her awake.
What bitterness.
Right?
What bitterness in my own heart.
That's awful.
Right?
Wives,
um,
are,
should be dearly loved objects.
Right?
You should be like,
Hey,
my wife is really tired.
Let me go in the other room.
Like,
use the massage gun or whatever.
Um,
but that's a minute example of something that could be a bit bigger.
Right?
If I let that bitterness fester in my heart,
oh my gosh,
I hate my wife.
Oh,
I hate it.
Like,
I come from a background where my dad was a really bitter man.
My dad abused me.
Right?
He beat her countless nights.
Right?
That's where that bitterness,
evil intentions towards your wives.
Right?
If that bitterness,
which is in all us men,
is not in check,
in check with love,
and Christ-like love,
that's where at least,
um,
how does love relate to Christ?
Right?
That's an easy one.
Like,
John 3,
16.
Our kids know.
Right?
God came,
like,
to,
to save us,
lost sinners.
Right?
With all the bitterness that we have towards God,
God came and saved us.
Romans,
right?
What could separate us from the love of God?
Right?
God loves us so much.
Um,
now,
husbands,
how are you loving your wives?
How are you loving your wives?
Is your love,
a love that is holding the family together,
or is it self-seeking?
Right?
Is,
is there love,
an affection towards your wife,
or,
or do you always have to continually fight against this bitterness that you have?
Right?
How is your love in leading your wife?
How is your love in saying,
like,
you know,
my wife is so tired today,
I'm going to do the dishes for her.
How,
how is your love in your wife in setting expectations for what the home should be like?
How's your love for your wife in childry?
Right?
Love is not an emotional or sexual term.
It is an action.
Something that you're doing to help the other person.
It's not self-seeking.
That's the first pair,
husbands and wives.
The second pair,
father and children,
right?
Um,
verse 20 to 21.
Children,
obey your parents and everything for this pleases the Lord.
Fathers,
do not exasperate your children so that they won't become discouraged.
Raise your hand if you're a child in here.
This is to you guys.
Guys,
you need to obey your parents.
Simply put,
uh,
because this pleases the Lord.
This pleases God when you obey your parents,
right?
Whenever your parents ask you to do something and you do it without grumbling or complaining,
this pleases God.
Let your obedience to your parents be because you love the Lord,
because you want to obey your parents.
Okay?
And this is,
this is more than,
for you adults now,
this,
this submission,
this obedience that children need to have to their parents is not a voluntary,
um,
submission.
It's not the same thing as wives to husbands.
It is more,
uh,
like subservience.
Um,
of course,
there's a,
there's a caveat to that when it says,
um,
children obey your parents and everything for this pleases.
Pleases the Lord.
Of course,
sin does not please the Lord,
right?
Assuming these are Christian parents who are rearing their kids.
Well,
um,
fathers do not exasperate your children so that they won't become,
uh,
discouraged.
Um,
exasperate,
uh,
means to cause irritation or annoyance or to excite the anger of,
or to be irritated to the point of imprudent action,
right?
That's a mouthful.
I'll just,
I'll just do the end to be irritated to the point of imprudent actions,
right?
That is,
that is exasperating.
Sometimes when I hug Ruben too tightly and,
and like squeeze him and kiss him,
he'll like flare up and get really angry.
It's like,
yeah,
let me go.
It's like,
let me stop doing that.
Right.
But a continual exasperation of our kids and different things,
right?
You're never good enough,
son.
You could never do this.
Right.
Why are you like this?
Why can't you be better?
Right.
Exasperating our kids in this way,
leads to a lifelong thing of being discouraged.
And this discouragement is more of a child growing,
not as a man should,
not as a man of God should,
but in reckless living,
right?
Um,
to that,
uh,
meaning of to be irritated to the point of imprudent actions,
um,
that,
that a child might even say,
um,
dad always puts so much on me,
so much on me.
And he always expected so much of me,
um,
that I always felt bogged down by the Lord.
I was always just so like the Lord,
just law,
law,
just like my dad.
Right.
Continual exasperation is his,
that's what's going to lead to fathers,
especially like kids will relate to their heavenly father,
how they relate to you.
Of course,
the Lord can redeem all of that as he has with me,
with many of you guys.
But in a sense,
that's what that'll lead to.
Right.
Like I'm never enough for God.
Um,
so fathers,
how are you rearing your children?
This pointed directly to fathers,
not,
not mothers,
right?
Fathers,
how are you rearing your child?
Um,
for those who are older,
who've already had kids,
how have you reared your child?
What could you teach this congregation?
where you messed up?
Uh,
do you love them or are they bothered you?
Right.
Do you see lack of freedom when you see your kids?
Not the ability to,
to go out and do live life.
When you spank them,
is it with the rod of wrath and anger and annoyance?
Or is it with love and patience?
Are you loving your kids in these regards?
The third pair,
um,
slaves and masters,
right?
Uh,
while we're in a more modern time and century,
uh,
where,
uh,
there's not,
uh,
a lot of slaves in the USA,
um,
raise your hand if you have a nine to five.
Uh,
is anyone here a mom?
Julie,
only,
uh,
are there any kids in here who get asked to do chores?
Uh,
do we have any business owners or managers in here?
Looks like we got a whole mixed bag.
Um,
so I'll read those verses real quickly.
Slaves,
obey your human masters and everything.
Don't work only while being watched as people pleasers,
but work wholeheartedly fearing the Lord.
Whatever you do,
do it from the heart as something done for the Lord and not for people.
Knowing that you will receive the reward of your inheritance from the Lord,
you serve the Lord Christ for the wrongdoer will be paid back for whatever wrong he has done.
There's no favoritism.
Masters deal with your slaves justly and fairly,
since you know that you too have a master in heaven.
Right?
Um,
you know,
these,
these verses are very self-explanatory.
Right?
Look,
don't work while being watched.
Don't be people pleasers.
Right?
That's like,
I don't have to expound a ton upon that for you to know what that means over.
Whatever you do,
do it from the heart.
That's something done from the Lord and not for people.
Got that?
Everyone knows that.
Knowing that you will receive a reward of your inheritance from the Lord.
Whoa.
Who are you working for?
Not for your human masters.
You know,
slaves,
this is a context.
In this context,
it's slaves.
Slaves don't get an inheritance.
Right?
Their property,
they belong to their owners.
They die.
Nothing goes to them.
But here,
slaves receive an inheritance,
a glorious inheritance.
We also get this inheritance.
Serve the Lord.
Right?
Serve the Lord.
You're not serving man.
Your service is to the Lord.
He's watching.
The CEO of a massive,
giant corporation
can't see everything that you're doing,
but the Lord sees everything that you're doing.
Right?
For the wrongdoer,
will we pay back whatever wrong he has done?
And there's no favoritism.
Right?
There are two views of the wrongdoers,
if you want to say.
A wrongdoer here could be viewed as,
you know,
in ultimate sense,
one who is rebelling against God
will be condemned.
Right?
Another sense is,
the wrongdoer here is,
you know,
your co-worker.
You're like,
I'm working.
I'm working so hard.
Like,
and I get no notice.
Get no promotion.
But this dude here,
he's a people pleaser.
He'll like,
say what the master wants to hear.
He'll like,
only work whenever the master's here,
and he gets all the promotions.
Why does that happen?
But there's no favoritism with God.
There's none.
God knows everything.
Masters,
deal
with your slaves
justly and fairly,
since you know that you two have
a master in heaven.
Directly to managers,
really,
and business owners.
How are you dealing with your
hired employees?
Justly and fairly?
Is there favoritism?
What does that look like?
Um,
in all of these examples,
examples,
uh,
a wife is put before a husband.
A child is put before a father.
Slave is put before a master.
Not,
not because one is lesser of any degree,
but it's because of how we ought to
think of ourselves as lesser.
Right?
Like,
we shouldn't boast over our wives and say,
I'm your husband.
We should say,
I love you.
Let me,
let me help you.
Right?
You shouldn't look at your child and say,
you're,
you're lesser than me.
Anything like that.
Or a master.
Right?
You too have a master in heaven.
You're a different rank and a different position.
You too,
like,
need to treat your slaves,
your employees,
sorry,
um,
justly,
fairly.
And so,
really quickly,
in all of these things,
right,
um,
for moms,
for kids,
for,
um,
business owners,
for managers,
for employees,
um,
children,
when your mom or dad asks you to put some toys away in the basket,
do you,
uh,
Dilly and Dally,
is it when they come by that you start putting stuff back in the basket?
Are you putting stuff in the basket and you're like,
oh,
this is cool.
And then they come and you're like,
oh,
I need to put it away.
You're being a people pleaser.
You,
you need to obey your parents.
You need to listen to them fully.
What they're asking you to do.
Moms,
right?
Because you guys mainly take care of the house and your kids.
Uh,
what does your house look like when you're not having a house?
Having company over.
Uh,
is it a mess?
Is it people are coming over?
So we need to get everything in order.
Shouldn't be that way.
Right?
We should be stewards of what we're given.
Um,
or when your husband's about to come home,
you're like,
kids,
let's pack it all up.
Right?
Um,
you should be working hard.
And,
and it shouldn't be when people are coming over to your house.
You're like,
like that,
that is the people pleasing them.
Right?
You're trying to show people that,
you know,
I've got it all together.
When in reality,
you don't,
you're trying to show them something that you're not.
Um,
those who work jobs,
are you wholeheartedly working?
Right?
Is it?
The boss is here.
That's not what it should be either.
Or pipe fitter or,
or whatever.
Right?
It should be working hard onto the Lord.
Shouldn't be like,
you should not have the mentality of when the boss comes is when fear is put into my heart.
I need to start working hard.
Um,
because the Lord is watching.
There's no favoritism with the Lord.
Business owners and managers,
um,
are you showing favoritism to bros or to gals you're fond of?
Right?
What?
Friends you really like.
I don't want to let them go.
They're really cool.
I love hanging out with them.
Um,
do they get all the good leads because you really like them?
Right?
Do they get raises because you really like them?
Are you keeping them employed?
Because they're a bro,
even though they're a bad employee.
Right?
That's favoritism.
There's no partiality with God and there should not be partiality with us.
Even with our kids,
are we showing partiality?
I have one kid.
So,
I love them.
But with you who have more kids,
is there partiality?
Should not be.
Right?
Um,
really quickly,
I want to conclude with
three final thoughts.
Um,
and those are mainly with my titles.
The first is priority
and preeminence.
Right?
First,
Christ is our first priority.
This passage
is all about Christ.
Focusing all these different areas
of Christ.
Right?
Wives,
submit yourselves to your husband
as is fitting in the Lord.
Children,
obey your parents
for this pleases the Lord.
Um,
slaves,
obey your human masters.
Right?
Um,
as something done for the Lord.
Masters,
deal with your slaves
justly and fairly
because you have a master
in heaven.
This is Christ's preeminence.
Right?
It's not that,
like,
analogy of the CEO.
Like,
you're not just dealing
with your supervisor.
You're dealing with the king,
with the cosmos.
You need to judge your work.
It's all pointing back
to Christ.
Moms,
you're labored.
You're work at home.
Christ is watching.
Right?
Children,
even while you labor now,
Christ is watching.
Fathers,
business owners,
Christ is watching.
Are you laboring?
Uh,
Christ is first priority
in all of this.
Um,
and we seek to please,
uh,
Christ.
Right?
In this divine priority,
if Christ is not the one
who we are following after,
uh,
then we,
we've got it all flip-flops.
If our,
if our desire,
right,
if our desire as men
is to please
only our wives,
uh,
then we start submitting
ourselves to our wives
and not to God.
Uh,
wives,
if,
if our only desire
is to just please
our husbands,
we've created them
into an idol,
something that they
should not be.
Not we've,
you've created them
into idols,
into something that
they should not be.
Price is your master
and your Lord.
Right?
Um,
price is head
in all of these things.
Uh,
and perseverance,
the last one,
is perseverance
is not in relation
to the pea and tulip,
uh,
but it is to persevere
in all of these
different areas
with Christ
being your head.
Uh,
children,
it's hard
being a child,
uh,
under sinful parents.
It's hard.
Um,
whenever it's really hard
for you guys,
pray.
Ask the Lord for help.
Wives,
it's really hard
to be under sinful men.
It is really hard.
Pray.
Ask the Lord for help.
He's your head.
Ultimately,
persevere in this.
You can.
Generations of women
have done it.
Well,
husbands,
persevere.
Persevere in the Lord.
Hold fast to love.
Hold fast to the Lord.
Not to yourself,
not to selfishness,
not to selfish ambition,
but to the Lord.
And then,
real quickly,
just want to end,
uh,
with a song.
All sufficient merit
is Christ
shining like the sun.
A fortune I inherit
by no work
that I have done.
My righteousness
I forfeit
at my Savior's cross.
where all sufficient merit
did what I could not.
In love
he condescended,
eternal,
now and time,
a life without
blemish,
the maker made to die.
The law
could never save us,
our lawlessness
as one,
until the pure
and spotless
Lamb,
Christ,
had finally come.
the law itself.
It's good,
but what I was
going to say
is that
every visa
came from
the law
of
heaven
and
in good