Well, thank you so much, Al, and to everyone who's participated in our service thus far.
Folks, great to have you with us this morning.
Let me encourage you to have those verses in Ephesians chapter 5 and 6 open in front of you.
And let me just begin by telling you about a mate that I had in halls at uni.
His name is Dave.
We call him Army Dave, right?
Differentiate him from all the other Daves that were in the halls, right?
We call him Army Dave.
And you can probably guess from that what the defining feature of Dave's life was, right?
He was almost a poster boy of the OTC, right?
So the Officer's Training Corps, which is kind of like the student branch of the Army.
Dave is a poster boy of the OTC, and Dave loved it, right?
Loved it.
If I remember being out one day playing football with my mates in the park,
and seeing, spotting the OTC in another part of the park doing their thing.
Now, I say I spotted them.
Before I spotted them, I heard them.
Heard them.
I remember looking, and there was a man in the middle with a whistle, which was strange.
But what was even more strange is that these people were doing exactly what he was telling them to do, right?
He would say jump, and they'd jump.
He would say march, and they'd march.
He would say drop, and what was it?
Give me 20, and down they'd go.
And I remember looking at these guys, thinking to myself,
wooft, that's pretty hardcore, isn't it?
Here's the thing.
To sign up to follow Jesus,
to be his disciple,
is to sign up for something way more hardcore than that.
To be a disciple is to sign your entire life over to Christ calling the shots.
And not just over part of your life,
all of your life.
And not just on one day of the week,
but every day of the week.
All of it.
To have Christ call the shots.
And that's true individually,
and it's true corporately for the church.
And for us as a local church,
as local believers,
called to, in our lives together,
express and show
the lordship of Jesus
over every area of our lives.
And we're going to see today,
including those
most personal of our relationships,
that Jesus is king.
Now, if you track back with me in the letter,
to chapter 1, verse 10.
This is kind of the theme sentence, if you like,
that runs over the book of Ephesians.
What God is doing in the world.
His chapter 1, verse 10,
his plan for the future,
to unite everything in heaven and on earth,
in Jesus Christ,
and Jesus as his risen king,
the plan is to have everything under his lordship.
That's the plan for the fullness of time.
It's where the future's going.
And as the church today,
the call for us
is to be a community
where in our relationships with one another,
we submit to Jesus Christ
as he rules us through his words.
Have Christ call the shots
in our community.
And so with Army Dave
and all his wee hardcore mates
in your minds,
come with me to verse 21 of chapter 5,
which is the headline verse
containing the headline verb
of this whole little section.
You ready for this?
Come with me.
Submitting to one another
out of reverence for Christ.
Now you catch that?
What's the verb submitting?
Right?
And sometimes our headings in our Bibles,
remember they're not inspired,
the word is.
Those headings are sometimes in the wrong place.
This might be one of those examples
where the divisions don't help us
because that word submitting
goes with the section just before.
Now the Greek word there
means to voluntarily put yourself
under the control of another.
Right?
That's what it means to submit.
And do you see how
that is the fruit
of being filled with the Spirit?
Now do you see how
it's the last of the four verbs
at verse 18
which Paul pulls out
as being the hallmarks
of a Spirit-filled community?
Addressing one another
in Psalms and hymns
and spiritual songs.
Here's number one.
Addressing.
Singing and making melody
to the Lord with your heart
is number two.
Giving thanks.
Here's number three
and here's number four.
Submitting to one another
out of reverence for Christ.
So to submit
is to be somebody
who is filled with the Spirit.
I love that.
It's not in ecstatic things.
It's in the nitty-gritty details
of your life.
Filled with the Spirit.
So to submit to Jesus
is to allow Him
to recalibrate
how we think
in terms of our relationships
with one another.
Right?
So this is what
we're going to see today.
To have Jesus
as the Lord of your life.
To have Him
calling the shots.
He's going to call you
to be a different kind of wife.
And He's going to call you
to be a different kind of husband.
And a different kind of young person.
And a different kind of parent.
And a different kind of slave.
And a different kind of master.
Now remember,
all these relationships
are going on
in the one church.
But most likely,
all of these relationships
might be going on
in the one home.
And it's as if Jesus is,
Paul is getting into picture,
He's,
Jesus is walking up
to the door of your home.
And He's ringing the doorbell.
Ding dong, ding dong.
And the call is to open the door
and let Him walk into your family life.
Walk into your home.
Let Christ call the shots
in your lives.
Now,
let me just deal with Dumbo.
Okay?
Who is the elephant
in the room
of this section.
Right?
Always good to deal with Dumbo.
And to acknowledge
that this couldn't be
any more
counter-cultural.
You don't need me
to tell you that.
But we're just dealing with Dumbo.
This couldn't be any more
counter-cultural.
In our day,
this stuff about
husbands and wives
and family and work,
it runs so deeply
against the grain
of how our society
thinks and operates.
But here's the thing
that we need to appreciate.
That what Paul writes here
is equally as
counter-cultural
in his day.
In fact,
I would go so far
as to say that
this is revolutionary
at the time of when
he's writing.
But we need to appreciate
that the cultural
pendulum,
generally speaking,
is on the other side.
Right?
To the one that we
maybe find ourselves
in today.
So this Greco-Roman
first century culture
where this letter
is written,
the individuals
who were considered
lowest down
the social ladder,
women,
children,
and slaves.
So notice with me
who,
when he addresses
these three relationships,
notice who he addresses
first.
Wives,
children,
and slaves.
Do you see it?
How counter-cultural
that is.
I've got
lots of friends
who've worked for
big companies
in their lives.
Right?
Kind of Amazons,
your direct line
call centers,
that kind of thing.
And what they always
said to me
at the time was,
you know,
when it comes to
my work there,
just a number.
I'm just a number.
No one's asking me.
No one cares
if I'm there.
No one's looking
at what I'm doing.
I'm just kind of
caught up
in the collective.
Right?
Nobody cares.
I love how
Paul
addresses
wives,
children,
and slaves
as individuals.
Right?
It's almost as if
he was here,
if he was walking
around this church,
these churches,
he would be
addressing them
by name.
Right?
To you,
this is what it says.
To you,
this is what this says.
See what it's saying.
But do you see
how Paul is,
in doing this,
he's bestowing
on these individuals
a real counter-cultural
dignity.
And he's massaging
home the truth
that we saw
earlier in this letter,
that they are all
part of Jesus'
one body,
and together
in the way
that they relate
to one another,
they are called
to live in such
a way that
demonstrates to
Ephesus
that Jesus
is Lord here.
So,
let's get into this,
shall we?
And first up,
friends,
we have got
a Valentine's Day
special.
How about this?
Look what he says,
first of all.
He goes for the marriage.
See it?
Let Christ call the shots
in your marriage.
Come with me
to verse 32.
I think this is key
for us to see
if we're to grasp
what he's saying
and we don't lapse
into moralism.
Okay?
We need to see
that as he talks
and addresses
and thinks about
husbands and wives
that Paul has got
the ultimate
marriage in mind.
Okay?
The marriage
between Christ
the groom
and the church,
his bride.
Now,
do you see that?
It's not
our marriages
down here
that the reality
and that's a useful
metaphor to call upon.
It is completely
the other way around.
And this has always
been God's
created intention.
I think that is
why he quotes
from Genesis 2 there.
So,
this is God's design.
This is what it's
been all about.
About Christ
and the church.
There's a much bigger
game that you're
playing in.
And so,
the way husbands
and wives,
the way I'm praying,
the way I want you
to live,
relate to one another,
love one another,
you have to do it
in such a way
that spotlights
and showcases
and reflects
the ultimate marriage.
The one that's
eternal,
the one that's
permanent,
the one that's
glorious.
And so,
to the married
woman in this
church,
he says,
in the same way
that the church
submits to Christ,
I urge you
to reflect that
by choosing
to submit
to your husband.
Now,
let me just clarify
before we get on to
what that does mean.
Let me just clarify
what it doesn't mean.
Okay?
It's good.
Grandpa used to use
this phrase,
hee-haw,
right?
Meaning nothing.
Hee-haw to do
with a wife's
inferiority,
right?
And you,
the people have
horribly abused this
over the years.
Nothing to do
with that.
And that's clear
if you want an
example of this.
If you look at
the life of Jesus,
I love how he is
almost the model
for both the wife
and the husband here.
The one fully
and equally with God,
and yet what do we
see him doing
in John's Gospel
in the Garden of
Gethsemane?
What are the words
from his mouth?
Not my will,
Father,
not my will,
but yours be done.
Submits himself
to the will of his
father.
And equally,
it's nothing to do
with the husband's
superiority,
right?
And Paul's going
to make that
crystal clear
about what he says
next.
What this is,
is husbands and
wives both equally
and wonderfully
made in God's
image and called
to play their
distinctive and
complementary parts
in showcasing
the ultimate
marriage.
And so Paul says,
this one does mean,
I think,
wives bring all
your gifts and
abilities that God
has given you
to your marriage.
And in the same
way that the church
submits to Christ,
I want you to
choose to submit
to affirm
and support
and encourage
and look to
and respect
the loving
and sacrificial
leadership
of your husbands.
And I love this,
it was Elizabeth
Elliott who,
I love this quote,
right?
She said,
the fact that I'm
a woman does
not make me a
different kind of
Christian.
But the fact that
I'm a Christian,
it does make me a
different kind of
woman.
And Paul's calling
Christian husbands
to be equally as
radical here.
Okay?
Husbands in this
time,
you read around in
this,
household codes of
the day,
husbands would
never have expected
to be addressed
here.
and certainly
wouldn't have
been asked,
wouldn't have
expected to be
asked to do
what Paul tells
them to do.
It's probably why
they get a bit
more air time
in this section.
Because husbands,
the command,
what he writes,
is to love
your wives.
And it's in the
same way that
Christ
sacrificially
loved
and shed
his blood
on the cross
to win,
to redeem,
to buy for
himself his
bride.
That's how
you're to do
it.
Wow.
And I take it
if you're a
husband listening
in today,
friends,
all of us,
we need to
feel the beauty
and the weight
of what he
calls us to
do.
Now,
we don't have
time to do
justice to
kind of every
glorious detail
and image there.
You do that
in your own
time.
But let me
just pick out
one.
Okay?
Verse 28 and
29.
In the same
way,
husbands should
love their
wives as
their own
bodies.
Flowing into
verse 29.
For no one
ever hated
his own
flesh,
but he
nourishes
it and
cherishes
it.
Now,
husbands,
think about
how you
love your
own body.
Right?
Doing it
on the
car on
the way
in today.
Doing a
wee health
checklist of
how I've
got on
over the
last 24
hours.
Right?
Good sleep?
Tick.
Hearty
breakfast?
Tick.
Hair done?
Tick.
Teeth done?
Tick.
Banana just
before I
left for that
little bit of
added energy?
Tick.
Run this
week?
Tick.
Tick,
tick,
tick.
Friends,
looking after my
own body comes
very naturally
to me and I'm
sure I'm not
the only one.
Paul says that's
how a Christian
husband should
love his wife.
Which means,
friends,
husbands,
listen to this.
We stop what
we're doing and
we sacrifice
time to listen
to our wives.
We stop what
we're doing,
we listen well.
We stop what
we're doing,
we go out of
our way to
encourage her.
We go the
extra mile to
care for her
and we make it
our job to
lead in such
a way that
we see her
flourish in
terms of being
the person
that God
has made her
to be.
This is a call
to sacrifice
for the life
of your wife.
Husbands,
love her like
you do your
own body.
You know,
I played a little
game this week.
It's called
the Vanity
Challenge.
What I tried
to do is every
minute I spent
looking in the
mirror,
I would try and
spend a minute
listening to
and trying to
act this out
with Alex.
And do you
know what,
friends?
I failed
miserably.
Here is the
call for the
Christian husband
to love
your wife.
And do you
see how Paul
is saying,
husband and
wife,
as you do
this together,
you are
displaying the
ultimate
marriage,
the ultimate
marriage.
And it's so
important that
we've got that
ultimate marriage
in mind because
if we look for
satisfaction,
whoever we are
watching this
today,
we look for
satisfaction in a
marriage relationship,
then we're in
for a massive
fall.
Now, one of
the most popular
Christmas films of
the last 20
years, and some
of you love
this, it's
called Love
Actually,
and it contains
one of the
most cheesy
rom-com lines,
and Hollywood
loves it.
And it's when the
character played
by Andrew
Lincoln, some
of you will
know this scene,
he's there,
he's standing
in the freezing
cold, he's
pretending to be
a carol singer,
he's at the
door, and the
character played
by Keira Knightley
is looking at
him, and he's
holding up signs,
right?
And one of the
signs he holds
up, and this is
the scene, and it
says, to me, you
are perfect.
There's the sign.
Now, let me just
give you five
seconds to have a
little moment
thinking about that,
and enjoying that,
and then let me
burst the bubble.
Friends, do not
buy the lie that
any person can
complete you.
Okay, it's
absolute nonsense.
You know, I'm so
conscious that for
some of us watching
this today, your
experience of
marriage will have
been so painfully
the opposite of
what Paul outlines
here.
And maybe you're
watching this, and
maybe you're
struggling in your
marriage, or you're
struggling thinking,
will I ever be
married?
And do you know
what?
Perhaps lockdown
has just brought
all those things,
all those feelings,
to light again.
But let me
encourage us to
see, as we think
about that scene
in Love Actually,
that the role of
the perfect spouse
has already been
taken.
And newsflash,
it ain't me,
and it ain't you.
Friends, we need
to look to Jesus
Christ.
Whoever you are
here today, if
your trust is in
him, would you
know that you are
in on, and will
one day be gloriously
and fully part
of the ultimate
marriage.
And I love, this
is one of the
things that drew
me to Jesus when
I read about him
in the gospel,
for the first time
when I was young,
that I looked at
him, not a romantic
relationship in sight,
right?
It doesn't matter
what the Da Vinci
Code or the like
says, nothing like
that going on, and
yet here is a man
who is living life
to the full.
Here is a man who
is full of joy as
he basks in knowing
the glory of his
father.
And it was C.T.
Stud to encourage
his wife to say a
little poem to
herself every day.
Dear Lord Jesus,
you are to me
dearer than Charlie
ever could be.
You see, friends,
let Christ call the
shots in your
marriage.
And let him, and
these last two
points will be
quicker, let him
call the shots in
your family.
Right?
Verse 1 of
chapter 6, here is
Paul's plea to the
family children.
He goes, first of
all, again, thinking
what we thought of
earlier, children, and
I think we're to
picture children living
at home and following
Jesus for themselves.
What does he say?
He says, obey your
parents.
And he roots it in
the fifth commandment
as a way of life that
he has orchestrated,
which will see them
flourish and please
us as the Lord.
So young people, if
you're watching this,
know that you can
worship Jesus, you can
honor him simply by
the way that you
love and you obey
your parents.
Isn't that amazing?
You can do that
whoever you are.
And fathers, verse
4, I take it speaking
to them as the one
that he wants to
take the sacrificial
and loving lead in
the home because if
you read around in
this one, men in
this culture have a
habit of being
domineering.
Paul says, do not
provoke your
children or
discourage them
because you've put
heavy burdens and
expectations on them.
But rather encourage
and love and
nurture and
instruct and
pray for and
invest in and
get to know
your children.
And the challenge
is, parents
watching this
today, do we
love our children
like this?
I'll tell you the
little challenge in
my heart over the
last season.
And it's to do with
the comparison game.
You know, I don't
know who started
these things, but
you know how every
year you get those
family newsletters
through the post or
you get them online.
I love reading all
of them, but you
read some of them
and you think to
yourself, that is
just a brag about
your children.
Right?
You know the kind
of thing.
Julie's doing
classics at
Cambridge and Mark
has been made
captain of the
football team and
baby Dave spoke
his first word last
month and that word
had 16 syllables in
it.
You know that kind
of thing.
And I find my
heart can be so
easily dragged away
from my primary
calling as a
Christian parent.
Then all of a
sudden my little
girl goes to play
her first ever
tennis lesson and
in my head I'm
thinking her first
shot, why is she
not Serena
Williams?
Come on!
How my heart can
get dragged away
from something as
simple as a photo
on Facebook.
Do you see the
call here,
friends, as
Christian parents
that our primary
objective, our
primary desire for
our children should
be that they come
to know Jesus,
that they love
him, that they
know him.
And flowing from
that, my job as a
parent is to put
all the Jesus
shaped kindling
around the fire
that I can of
their hearts and
live out in front
of them a vibrant
love for and need
for the Lord
Jesus saying sorry
to my children when
I've got it wrong
and praying that
the Holy Spirit
would take the
kindling around the
fire and
ignite it.
That's our desire
for our children.
You know, I love
John Wesley who
famously said about
his mum,
Susanna,
he said about her
looking back on his
life that he
meant he learned
more about
Christianity from
her than he did
from all the
theologians in
England.
Let Christ call
the shots in your
family.
And lastly, let
Christ call the
shots in your
work.
As you see in
verse 5, he
speaks to slaves.
And you can
understand that
that's kind of a
broad term that's
describing, can
describe any person
who's under the
authority of
another.
And I guess in
this culture it's
important for us
maybe to discern
that this is a
different thing
from what we'd
imagine and we
see in scenes like
12 years a slave
or Selma.
it's a different
thing.
You've got a
whole economy
here built on
the kind of
master-slave
relationship.
You have up
to, it's
estimated up
to two-thirds
of a Roman
empire were
slaves.
And slaves
could be well
educated professionals
that could be
trained individuals.
You've bankers
are slaves.
You've got
doctors who
are slaves.
So though it's
not identical,
I think we can
draw a lot of
parallels to our
employee-employer
relationships that
we have today.
And look what he
writes to slaves
and see that this
is a heart thing.
It's a heart thing.
Verse 5, what does
he write?
He says, obey.
Obey your
masters.
Work well.
Be known for
your reliability.
Be known for
your integrity.
Be known for
your diligence.
And his
wording, gain a
good reputation
in the eyes of
your master.
Be working,
not just when
they are watching,
but be working
all the time.
All the time.
And if you do
this, you're
going to show
to the world
that you serve
a greater
master, Christ,
who has claimed
you and
changed you.
Knowing that
from him you
will receive
the ultimate
inheritance when
he comes back.
A question to
ask at this
point, isn't
it, is,
friends, if we
think about
our jobs,
what it is we
do with our
lives, those
kind of employee-employer
relationships,
wherever you
happen to
fall in that.
Do people at
work know and
do they see it
in us that we
serve a higher
master?
You know, I
love, I was
reading with my
kids the other
day about
Johann Sebastian
Bach and how
he signed off
every bit of
music that he
wrote with the
letters SDG,
sold the
Gloria, to
God be the
glory.
That's why he
was working,
not for pay,
not for the
plaudits, he
was writing,
composing for
the glory of
God.
Take that with
you this week,
SDG, SDG.
Right, as you
send that email
that nobody will
see, SDG.
Right, as you're
in the hospital,
SDG, you know,
all these things,
to God be the
glory.
Christ has
changed how you
understand what
you do in your
work.
Right, into
masters, he
says, verse 9,
he says, remember
that Christ is
your master
too, and you
need to treat
your slaves
well.
You know, I
love it, back
in 2015, the
online magazine
24-7 Wall
Street, it
published a
list of the
top ten
companies in
America to
work for, and
the only
restaurant that
made it in
there was
Chick-fil-A.
Right, many of
you might know
that that's a
restaurant run
by evangelical
Christians, and
they've got a
reputation for
paying well for
listening to
what their
employees are
saying, to
have a bit
of flexibility
in terms of
work-life
balance, and
because of
that, people
love working
there.
They love
working there.
So, friends,
let Christ
call the
shots in
your work.
And how
different,
friends, this
community then
that Paul is
describing, how
different then
it's going to
look to the
watching world.
This is a
place where
Jesus rules,
and this is
a place where
he is transforming
our relationships
and the whole
goal of our
relationships is
to glorify him.
Just as we
close, let me
just give you
two thoughts
that have been
in my mind as
I've been
praying about
this this
week.
Two thoughts
for you, and
I'll give you
two song lyrics
as well.
Here's thought
number one,
and song
number one.
It's a song
that I used to
listen to a lot
when I was
growing up.
My dad used
to love it on
the radio,
and it was
called
Oolalab
of the
Faces.
Some of you
won't have a
clue what I'm
talking about,
some of you
will love it.
You can Google
it afterwards.
The chorus
went, I wish
that I knew
what I know
now when I
was younger.
I wish
that I knew
what I know
now when I
was younger.
Here's what I
know now.
Having done
this work
thing, marriage
thing, parenting
thing for a
little season
of my life
now, nothing
has revealed
my own sinful
heart and
my need
for God's
gracious
help, quite
like marriage,
parenthood,
and work.
I take it,
friends, all
of us are
going to respond
to this like
that, just
feeling, wow,
as we look
at this.
This isn't
easy.
The question
that you're
probably asking
is how do
we do this?
The answer
here is not
to roll up
our sleeves.
That might
work for a
day or two,
but it's
certainly not
going to
last long.
It's not
going to
result in
transformative
change.
The answer
is not
to roll
up our
sleeves.
The answer
is to get
on our
knees.
And remember
that this
word submitting
is the work
of the Holy
Spirit in
our lives.
This is the
fruit of
his work.
God's
children.
The Spirit
who is
called the
helper.
Friends, I
take it if we
want to see
light in
our marriages,
in our
families,
in our
work, we
see the
light as we
come closer
to the
flame of
Jesus
Christ.
He's given
us the
Holy Spirit
and he's
given us
one another
to help.
friends, if
you've got
questions about
anything that's
been said this
morning or
anything that
you've read,
get in touch.
As a community
we do this
together.
We help one
another and it
would be our
joy to be able
to do that.
Here's the
second thought
then and with
this we close.
And I want to
take you back
to Army Dave.
Remember Army
Dave and his
OTC buddies?
The thing that
struck me about
Army Dave
every time I saw
him was that
he loved the
OTC.
And I mean
loved the
OTC.
Friends, as we
see this, as we
think about
Christ as our
master, as we
think about
submitting and
letting his
word rule over
us, I want
to remind us
just at the
close of the
goodness of
this.
And to see
the goodness
in this.
But then to
see beyond
that and see
the beauty
of the
Christ who
is our
master.
And here's
the second
lyrics and
with this we
close.
There's joy in
serving Jesus.
The words of
the old hymn,
as I journey
on my way,
joy that
fills my
heart with
praises every
hour and
every day.
There is
joy, joy,
joy in
serving Jesus.
Joy that
throbs within
my heart every
moment, every
hour as I
draw upon his
power.
There is
joy, joy,
joy that
shall never
depart.
Friends, there
is joy in
serving Jesus.
Let me pray
as we close.
Oh, Heavenly
Father, all of
us here will
feel the weight
of what we've
read this
morning.
We'll see
both its
glory and
its weight.
And so,
Father, I pray
for whoever is
watching this and
whatever is
going on in
their lives.
Some of the
questions and
some of the
pains that
will be wrapped
up in all of
this stuff.
Father, I pray
that your spirit
would be at
work in each
of our hearts
and in each
of our
situations.
Lord, that you
would help us
submit our
lives to the
lordship of
Jesus.
And we thank
you, Father,
that there is
none like him.
And so,
Father, we pray
for your help
this week as
we seek to
put this into
action.
In Jesus'
precious name
we pray.
Amen.