WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:05.080 We live in a society today that has never been more connected than ever. 00:00:05.520 --> 00:00:11.240 In the palm of my hands, I have access to over a thousand of my friends on Facebook 00:00:11.240 --> 00:00:13.740 and hundreds of followers on Instagram. 00:00:15.179 --> 00:00:17.820 And yet the repetitive conclusion from all of this 00:00:17.820 --> 00:00:21.480 that we keep hearing from experts and doctors and psychologists 00:00:21.480 --> 00:00:24.100 is that we are more than ever now lonely. 00:00:24.820 --> 00:00:28.060 We've never been more lonely in the history of man than today. 00:00:28.059 --> 00:00:33.259 In all our technological advancement, to become more connected with the world around us, 00:00:33.780 --> 00:00:34.920 we've become less lonely. 00:00:36.039 --> 00:00:38.619 With all this technological power at our disposal for making friends, 00:00:38.719 --> 00:00:45.219 we are growing in our struggle to actually make deep and meaningful, intimate friendships. 00:00:46.340 --> 00:00:46.840 Why? 00:00:47.560 --> 00:00:51.399 I think there are a number of contributing factors to this going on in our world, 00:00:51.480 --> 00:00:52.759 but there are two main ones. 00:00:53.079 --> 00:00:55.739 Firstly, a growing individualism. 00:00:55.740 --> 00:01:01.840 As a society, we've grown more and more individualistic and autonomous in the way we interact with the world. 00:01:02.320 --> 00:01:06.480 Once upon a time, we had much more value in community itself. 00:01:07.079 --> 00:01:09.340 Taking part in community life was important. 00:01:09.900 --> 00:01:12.659 Volunteering for your local club was important. 00:01:13.180 --> 00:01:19.659 Volunteering to ref or to help out at a weekend sport was seen as important as we engaged in the community. 00:01:19.659 --> 00:01:25.560 And as we did engage in the community, as we settled down into a community and planted roots, 00:01:26.200 --> 00:01:29.899 we allowed our friendships to flourish as we stayed and lingered. 00:01:30.599 --> 00:01:35.739 However, sometime now, this communal culture has shifted and slowly faded out 00:01:35.739 --> 00:01:38.359 to replace a more individualistic culture. 00:01:39.199 --> 00:01:43.060 Most clubs, sports clubs particularly, are struggling to get volunteers now 00:01:43.060 --> 00:01:45.219 to help run sports on the weekends. 00:01:45.219 --> 00:01:49.439 And technology has allowed people to be more and more mobile these days. 00:01:50.280 --> 00:01:55.359 People, or young people like myself, are refusing to settle down in one place 00:01:55.359 --> 00:01:59.859 and desiring to move on, to look and step to travel and to explore, 00:02:00.739 --> 00:02:03.539 to go where they desire to go. 00:02:04.439 --> 00:02:09.099 There is a culture now of not wanting to settle down and invest in one place, 00:02:09.099 --> 00:02:13.739 but rather to go from place to place where it suits the person. 00:02:14.759 --> 00:02:18.479 They take new jobs in new places, in new cities, in new countries even. 00:02:19.400 --> 00:02:22.659 And so the generations rising up are the ones now who have money 00:02:22.659 --> 00:02:26.259 and truly the opportunity to go wherever they want to. 00:02:26.659 --> 00:02:27.900 The world is their oyster. 00:02:28.599 --> 00:02:32.379 And because of such, they are growing more and more individualistic. 00:02:32.379 --> 00:02:34.780 But at what cost is this? 00:02:36.659 --> 00:02:42.319 Friendship, for them, is no more than circumstance and interest, momentary. 00:02:42.879 --> 00:02:45.159 And it's rarely given a chance to flourish, 00:02:45.599 --> 00:02:49.800 as when their circumstance changes, their friendships have to change also. 00:02:50.719 --> 00:02:54.659 And so whilst many young people enjoy an opportunity to go travel, 00:02:55.079 --> 00:02:58.000 to work in different places, to work in different cities and countries, 00:02:58.000 --> 00:03:05.240 they suffer as they lose their substantial and deep connections with their friends. 00:03:06.159 --> 00:03:07.000 That's the first one. 00:03:07.080 --> 00:03:11.460 And secondly, the romanticising of sexually committed relationships. 00:03:12.280 --> 00:03:13.599 As a teenager growing up, 00:03:14.139 --> 00:03:18.379 there are countless of teen dramas on TV every single night. 00:03:18.520 --> 00:03:22.319 Shows like The O.C., One Tree Hill, Gossip Girl, 00:03:22.639 --> 00:03:25.000 shows that your kids might have watched growing up. 00:03:25.599 --> 00:03:27.539 For those of you who are a little bit older than I am, 00:03:27.539 --> 00:03:29.359 there are shows like Degrassi High, 00:03:30.419 --> 00:03:31.819 Beverly Hills, 90210. 00:03:32.759 --> 00:03:34.239 And if you're a fan of the ABC, 00:03:34.579 --> 00:03:37.939 there was a show called Heartbreak High on television that you might have watched. 00:03:38.399 --> 00:03:42.299 Many of these shows have one underlying theme in them 00:03:42.299 --> 00:03:44.359 that dominated the whole story, 00:03:44.519 --> 00:03:46.019 and that was relationships. 00:03:47.019 --> 00:03:49.340 Whether sexual, friendship, or family, 00:03:49.500 --> 00:03:53.539 most of these stories follow the lives of young, attractive people 00:03:53.539 --> 00:03:59.280 as they worked through the different complexities of teenage relationships. 00:04:00.039 --> 00:04:03.399 With the story being developed around one particular relationship, 00:04:03.659 --> 00:04:05.939 one that was sexual and romantic in nature, 00:04:07.000 --> 00:04:12.840 and the journey us viewers would go on was to see whether or not this relationship would make it. 00:04:13.099 --> 00:04:14.000 It would last. 00:04:14.659 --> 00:04:16.319 Would they live happily ever after? 00:04:16.319 --> 00:04:18.159 Would it end in disaster? 00:04:19.300 --> 00:04:23.379 Why are we often so drawn in to these shows? 00:04:23.540 --> 00:04:25.579 There's so many of these kinds of shows. 00:04:25.699 --> 00:04:28.459 They all have the same type of storyline, the same theme, 00:04:28.920 --> 00:04:30.019 and yet they're so popular. 00:04:30.420 --> 00:04:35.319 Why are we so drawn in to the tumultuous love story of Ryan and Marissa in The O.C.? 00:04:35.319 --> 00:04:41.899 What is it about Dan and Serena or Chuck and Blair in Gossip Girl that keeps us watching? 00:04:44.300 --> 00:04:48.899 These shows, they target something that we desperately all want for ourselves, 00:04:49.079 --> 00:04:52.000 and that's to be loved, to enjoy intimacy, 00:04:52.560 --> 00:04:54.860 to enjoy companionship, 00:04:55.039 --> 00:04:59.519 to have a satisfying, special relationship that lasts. 00:04:59.519 --> 00:05:02.839 And shows like this, 00:05:03.419 --> 00:05:05.500 constantly bombarded by these shows like this, 00:05:05.859 --> 00:05:08.019 would have us believe that this type of intimacy, 00:05:08.180 --> 00:05:09.039 this type of love, 00:05:09.139 --> 00:05:13.519 can only be found in those romantic, sexually committed relationships. 00:05:14.659 --> 00:05:18.599 This ideal is perpetuated by not just our fictional TV shows, 00:05:18.839 --> 00:05:20.879 but our reality ones as well. 00:05:21.039 --> 00:05:23.719 As you all know, there are shows like The Bachelor out there, 00:05:24.180 --> 00:05:25.259 Married at First Sight, 00:05:25.379 --> 00:05:26.419 Farmer Wants a Wife. 00:05:26.420 --> 00:05:32.100 These shows perpetuate this ideal romantic relationship to us. 00:05:33.160 --> 00:05:35.360 And so constant exposure to all of these 00:05:35.360 --> 00:05:38.640 is enough to make you think that the most fulfilling relationship 00:05:38.640 --> 00:05:43.060 you could be in is a committed sexual relationship. 00:05:43.780 --> 00:05:48.660 Friendship, then, is just reduced to a second-class form of relationship 00:05:48.660 --> 00:05:52.900 that can't be as fulfilling as things like marriage 00:05:52.900 --> 00:05:55.259 or sexual committed relationships. 00:05:56.420 --> 00:06:00.220 And these contributing factors affect friendship in two different ways. 00:06:00.860 --> 00:06:05.120 You see, individualism has removed the space for friendship altogether 00:06:05.120 --> 00:06:07.420 and therefore for friendship to flourish 00:06:07.420 --> 00:06:09.140 and become deep and meaningful for people. 00:06:09.860 --> 00:06:13.100 And the romanticization of sexual relationships, 00:06:13.360 --> 00:06:14.580 things like marriage as well, 00:06:14.800 --> 00:06:19.720 has removed altogether the value and the benefits of friendship 00:06:19.720 --> 00:06:23.080 as a place to find intimacy and love. 00:06:23.860 --> 00:06:25.300 Therefore, in our society today, 00:06:25.900 --> 00:06:27.860 friendship has a second-class status. 00:06:28.500 --> 00:06:29.880 It's not viewed very highly. 00:06:30.040 --> 00:06:34.160 It's viewed as something that comes and goes by circumstance and interest. 00:06:35.000 --> 00:06:37.020 And if you're lucky to find a best friend for life, 00:06:37.360 --> 00:06:38.880 then you're truly, truly lucky. 00:06:38.879 --> 00:06:45.920 However, the Bible paints a very high view of the picture of friendship, 00:06:46.620 --> 00:06:48.620 having a very, very high view indeed, 00:06:48.759 --> 00:06:51.300 so much so that at the heart of the gospel 00:06:51.300 --> 00:06:54.579 is the restoration of our friendship with God. 00:06:55.079 --> 00:06:57.480 As Jesus says in John 15, 15, 00:06:57.480 --> 00:07:12.700 And so as we look at this topic of spiritual friendship, 00:07:13.500 --> 00:07:18.140 I want to discuss the difference the gospel makes in our lives, 00:07:18.140 --> 00:07:22.319 how the gospel shapes our friendships that we make together here. 00:07:23.400 --> 00:07:26.819 That friendship does not have to be some sort of second-class relationship. 00:07:27.480 --> 00:07:30.920 But we can have truly satisfying, deep and meaningful, 00:07:31.160 --> 00:07:33.100 intimate friendships with each other 00:07:33.100 --> 00:07:35.460 because of Jesus and what he's done for us here. 00:07:36.660 --> 00:07:39.500 And so firstly, we need to just deconstruct the myth 00:07:39.500 --> 00:07:42.460 that friendship is a second-class relationship 00:07:42.460 --> 00:07:45.379 that lacks intimacy and satisfaction. 00:07:45.640 --> 00:07:48.240 So if your Bible's open, we're going to stay in 1 Samuel. 00:07:48.340 --> 00:07:51.920 We're going to look at the example of Jonathan and David 00:07:51.920 --> 00:07:54.080 and an example of true friendship 00:07:54.080 --> 00:07:57.100 and deep and meaningful, satisfying friendship. 00:07:58.300 --> 00:08:01.480 So we are first introduced to David and Jonathan as friends 00:08:01.480 --> 00:08:03.040 back in chapter 18, 00:08:03.420 --> 00:08:05.960 straight after David killed Goliath, 00:08:06.480 --> 00:08:08.160 the hero of the Palestinian army. 00:08:08.700 --> 00:08:11.439 And verse 1 of 18 shows that Jonathan's response to David 00:08:11.439 --> 00:08:13.220 was incredible. 00:08:13.759 --> 00:08:15.759 After David had finished talking with Saul, 00:08:15.920 --> 00:08:18.780 Jonathan became one in spirit with David 00:08:18.780 --> 00:08:21.379 and he loved him as himself. 00:08:21.379 --> 00:08:23.439 As far as we are aware, 00:08:23.639 --> 00:08:26.680 Jonathan hadn't even met David just yet, 00:08:26.740 --> 00:08:30.219 but he's already so impressed by what David has done 00:08:30.219 --> 00:08:32.279 by killing the giant Goliath 00:08:32.279 --> 00:08:35.500 that he already feels an affinity with David himself. 00:08:36.139 --> 00:08:37.000 And then in verse 3, 00:08:37.100 --> 00:08:39.120 he comes to David and makes a covenant with him. 00:08:39.379 --> 00:08:41.500 And Jonathan made a covenant with David 00:08:41.500 --> 00:08:43.179 because he loved him as himself. 00:08:43.659 --> 00:08:45.659 Jonathan took off the robe he was wearing 00:08:45.659 --> 00:08:47.219 and gave it to David, 00:08:47.759 --> 00:08:50.439 along with his tunic and even his sword, 00:08:50.959 --> 00:08:52.360 his bow and his belt. 00:08:53.000 --> 00:08:55.299 This scene might seem quite strange to you. 00:08:55.980 --> 00:08:58.339 Undressing yourself is probably not the first thing 00:08:58.339 --> 00:09:00.480 you would do when you made a friend. 00:09:00.699 --> 00:09:01.339 You don't just go, 00:09:01.480 --> 00:09:02.279 here's my shirt, 00:09:02.399 --> 00:09:03.299 here's my pants. 00:09:03.459 --> 00:09:04.879 You wouldn't just do that. 00:09:04.919 --> 00:09:05.860 That's kind of strange. 00:09:07.120 --> 00:09:09.000 But let's not get too distracted here 00:09:09.000 --> 00:09:10.899 by our own modern day culture. 00:09:10.899 --> 00:09:13.500 The scene plays out before us 00:09:13.500 --> 00:09:15.019 as an incredible demonstration 00:09:15.019 --> 00:09:19.240 of Jonathan's devotion and love to David. 00:09:19.699 --> 00:09:21.959 By taking off his royal robes 00:09:21.959 --> 00:09:23.899 and placing them on David, 00:09:24.299 --> 00:09:27.799 by giving him his sword and his bow, his belt, 00:09:28.199 --> 00:09:31.559 he's not merely signifying his gratitude 00:09:31.559 --> 00:09:35.079 and generosity towards David for what he has done, 00:09:35.159 --> 00:09:38.740 but he is signifying his allegiance to him, 00:09:38.740 --> 00:09:43.279 showing that he was willing to give everything to him, 00:09:43.379 --> 00:09:45.840 including his right to the throne. 00:09:47.440 --> 00:09:50.620 In David, Jonathan saw one in whom he could follow 00:09:50.620 --> 00:09:55.080 and serve and love as his friend and king. 00:09:56.180 --> 00:09:59.360 Later on, this allegiance will be tested in chapter 20. 00:10:00.159 --> 00:10:03.120 In this chapter, David feels that his life is in danger. 00:10:03.240 --> 00:10:06.060 He feels King Saul, Jonathan's father, 00:10:06.279 --> 00:10:07.560 seeks to kill him, 00:10:07.559 --> 00:10:09.759 and he goes to Jonathan with all this, 00:10:09.939 --> 00:10:12.739 knowing that Saul is quite well aware of their friendship. 00:10:13.259 --> 00:10:14.539 He goes to Jonathan and says, 00:10:14.699 --> 00:10:15.519 what's going to happen? 00:10:15.639 --> 00:10:16.559 Why would this happen? 00:10:18.459 --> 00:10:20.799 Here, Jonathan's love and faithfulness 00:10:20.799 --> 00:10:22.339 is put to the test. 00:10:22.579 --> 00:10:25.279 Here, their friendship is truly put on the line. 00:10:26.639 --> 00:10:27.799 What will he decide to do? 00:10:28.419 --> 00:10:30.759 To side with his father, the king, 00:10:31.279 --> 00:10:34.779 or to side with his friend, David, 00:10:35.399 --> 00:10:36.299 servant of the king? 00:10:36.299 --> 00:10:39.379 And after dining with his father 00:10:39.379 --> 00:10:42.039 and discovering his shameful hatred 00:10:42.039 --> 00:10:43.599 that he had for David, 00:10:44.120 --> 00:10:45.679 he chose his friend. 00:10:46.719 --> 00:10:47.500 Verse 42, 00:10:47.719 --> 00:10:48.579 Jonathan said to David, 00:10:48.719 --> 00:10:49.500 go in peace, 00:10:50.059 --> 00:10:52.000 for we have sworn friendship with each other 00:10:52.000 --> 00:10:53.179 in the name of the Lord, 00:10:53.319 --> 00:10:53.659 saying, 00:10:53.659 --> 00:10:55.939 Jonathan's witness between you and me, 00:10:55.939 --> 00:10:57.179 between your descendants 00:10:57.179 --> 00:10:58.419 and my descendants forever. 00:10:59.480 --> 00:11:00.699 Jonathan remembered 00:11:00.699 --> 00:11:03.319 and kept his covenant with David 00:11:03.319 --> 00:11:04.899 that he would be his friend 00:11:04.899 --> 00:11:07.600 and he would seek to preserve his life 00:11:07.600 --> 00:11:09.419 and ensure his well-being. 00:11:10.120 --> 00:11:11.600 Jonathan did this 00:11:11.600 --> 00:11:13.879 at the cost of his own well-being 00:11:13.879 --> 00:11:16.199 and the throne of Israel itself. 00:11:16.819 --> 00:11:18.019 He fulfilled the promises 00:11:18.019 --> 00:11:20.519 he had given to David, 00:11:20.519 --> 00:11:23.159 that he would protect him 00:11:23.159 --> 00:11:23.840 and look after him, 00:11:23.860 --> 00:11:24.899 that he wouldn't forsake him. 00:11:26.600 --> 00:11:28.259 When Jonathan died in battle, 00:11:28.720 --> 00:11:30.960 David mourned him, 00:11:31.100 --> 00:11:33.679 saying this in 2 Samuel 1.26, 00:11:33.679 --> 00:11:35.399 I grieve for you, 00:11:35.539 --> 00:11:36.539 Jonathan, my brother. 00:11:37.099 --> 00:11:38.339 You were very dear to me. 00:11:38.419 --> 00:11:39.879 Your love for me was wonderful, 00:11:40.000 --> 00:11:41.899 more wonderful than that of women. 00:11:42.939 --> 00:11:44.699 This is not to be confused 00:11:44.699 --> 00:11:46.339 as a sexual kind of love, 00:11:47.039 --> 00:11:47.919 as some have done. 00:11:48.379 --> 00:11:49.399 No, this is a deep, 00:11:50.120 --> 00:11:52.299 intimate love of a friend 00:11:52.299 --> 00:11:54.919 who gave his all for David. 00:11:56.199 --> 00:11:58.399 The friendship that David had with Jonathan 00:11:58.399 --> 00:11:59.799 was more satisfying 00:11:59.799 --> 00:12:01.539 than the love of any woman. 00:12:01.539 --> 00:12:04.319 It had a physical nature to it as well, 00:12:04.419 --> 00:12:06.519 back in chapter 20, verse 41, 00:12:07.519 --> 00:12:08.339 where it's recorded 00:12:08.339 --> 00:12:10.259 that they were kissing each other, 00:12:10.419 --> 00:12:11.899 embracing each other. 00:12:11.959 --> 00:12:13.659 And it's easy for us to read this 00:12:13.659 --> 00:12:15.659 and confuse it with a romantic idea 00:12:15.659 --> 00:12:17.099 of kissing and embracing. 00:12:17.959 --> 00:12:19.099 But then we would be missing 00:12:19.099 --> 00:12:20.439 what was really going on here. 00:12:21.199 --> 00:12:22.360 After being tested 00:12:22.360 --> 00:12:24.599 and tempted to pledge his allegiance 00:12:24.599 --> 00:12:26.679 to his father and king, 00:12:27.360 --> 00:12:28.699 he decided that he would instead 00:12:28.699 --> 00:12:29.459 pledge his allegiance 00:12:29.459 --> 00:12:30.919 to the future king. 00:12:31.539 --> 00:12:33.939 The king that God had anointed. 00:12:34.959 --> 00:12:35.899 And he does this 00:12:35.899 --> 00:12:36.959 in the most obvious 00:12:36.959 --> 00:12:38.959 and expressive way, 00:12:39.519 --> 00:12:40.459 by kissing him. 00:12:41.299 --> 00:12:43.099 Fulfilling what we see 00:12:43.099 --> 00:12:45.559 in Psalm 2, verse 12, 00:12:45.659 --> 00:12:46.079 which says, 00:12:46.219 --> 00:12:47.299 serve the Lord with fear 00:12:47.299 --> 00:12:48.779 and celebrate his rule 00:12:48.779 --> 00:12:49.360 with trembling. 00:12:49.919 --> 00:12:51.980 Kiss the son, 00:12:52.639 --> 00:12:53.199 his son, 00:12:53.659 --> 00:12:54.899 or he'll be angry. 00:12:55.899 --> 00:12:57.039 Son, in the Psalms, 00:12:57.120 --> 00:12:57.899 is often used 00:12:57.899 --> 00:12:59.059 the term to describe 00:12:59.059 --> 00:13:00.100 the Lord's anointed, 00:13:00.319 --> 00:13:01.779 the king of Israel. 00:13:02.519 --> 00:13:03.399 And so Jonathan here 00:13:03.399 --> 00:13:04.120 is showing 00:13:04.120 --> 00:13:05.639 that he's not just merely 00:13:05.639 --> 00:13:06.819 pledging his allegiance 00:13:06.819 --> 00:13:07.500 to David, 00:13:07.579 --> 00:13:09.059 but to the God of Israel. 00:13:09.860 --> 00:13:10.539 He doesn't just merely 00:13:10.539 --> 00:13:11.840 kiss the son 00:13:11.840 --> 00:13:13.019 to show he is devoted, 00:13:13.500 --> 00:13:15.000 but showers him with kisses 00:13:15.000 --> 00:13:16.319 to show that he is not just 00:13:16.319 --> 00:13:17.340 his servant, 00:13:17.419 --> 00:13:18.360 but his friend, 00:13:19.360 --> 00:13:20.439 that he has great love 00:13:20.439 --> 00:13:21.340 and affection for. 00:13:21.340 --> 00:13:24.399 This kind of friendship 00:13:24.399 --> 00:13:25.800 wasn't uncommon 00:13:25.800 --> 00:13:26.540 or unique 00:13:26.540 --> 00:13:28.080 in ancient times. 00:13:28.240 --> 00:13:30.680 As Proverbs 18, 24 00:13:30.680 --> 00:13:31.480 hints at, 00:13:32.200 --> 00:13:32.800 one who has 00:13:32.800 --> 00:13:34.460 unreliable friends 00:13:34.460 --> 00:13:36.120 soon comes to ruin, 00:13:36.820 --> 00:13:37.780 but there is a friend 00:13:37.780 --> 00:13:38.800 who sticks closer 00:13:38.800 --> 00:13:40.139 than a brother. 00:13:40.980 --> 00:13:42.980 This is certainly true 00:13:42.980 --> 00:13:44.300 for David and Jonathan, 00:13:44.440 --> 00:13:45.040 perhaps true 00:13:45.040 --> 00:13:45.879 for some of you 00:13:45.879 --> 00:13:46.960 as well. 00:13:47.740 --> 00:13:48.660 As Katie and I 00:13:48.660 --> 00:13:49.440 prepare to get married, 00:13:49.560 --> 00:13:50.280 we are obviously 00:13:50.279 --> 00:13:52.159 looking at the guest list 00:13:52.159 --> 00:13:54.000 of who's going to come, 00:13:54.079 --> 00:13:54.959 who's not going to make it. 00:13:55.519 --> 00:13:56.120 And obviously there are 00:13:56.120 --> 00:13:58.079 some family members 00:13:58.079 --> 00:13:59.679 that we have, 00:13:59.939 --> 00:14:00.860 as I'm sure you all know, 00:14:00.919 --> 00:14:01.459 that we would rather 00:14:01.459 --> 00:14:03.639 leave off the guest list 00:14:03.639 --> 00:14:05.019 because we've got 00:14:05.019 --> 00:14:05.579 other friends 00:14:05.579 --> 00:14:06.159 we want to bring 00:14:06.159 --> 00:14:07.779 to the reception itself. 00:14:09.639 --> 00:14:10.799 And so we have 00:14:10.799 --> 00:14:12.179 deeper connections 00:14:12.179 --> 00:14:12.939 and relations 00:14:12.939 --> 00:14:14.259 with our friends sometimes 00:14:14.259 --> 00:14:15.439 than our own family members, 00:14:15.559 --> 00:14:16.860 just like David 00:14:16.860 --> 00:14:17.679 and Jonathan had. 00:14:18.959 --> 00:14:19.659 Just because we might 00:14:19.659 --> 00:14:20.199 be related by 00:14:20.200 --> 00:14:20.900 blood doesn't mean 00:14:20.900 --> 00:14:21.780 we necessarily enjoy 00:14:21.780 --> 00:14:22.500 the same kind 00:14:22.500 --> 00:14:23.520 of deep relationship. 00:14:24.280 --> 00:14:24.560 However, 00:14:24.660 --> 00:14:25.400 in our modern world 00:14:25.400 --> 00:14:26.000 we seem to think 00:14:26.000 --> 00:14:26.720 that marriage 00:14:26.720 --> 00:14:27.879 and what comes 00:14:27.879 --> 00:14:28.860 naturally after that, 00:14:29.040 --> 00:14:29.379 family, 00:14:29.940 --> 00:14:31.600 is the ideal place 00:14:31.600 --> 00:14:32.640 for finding fruitful, 00:14:33.500 --> 00:14:33.780 intimate, 00:14:34.320 --> 00:14:34.960 and fulfilling 00:14:34.960 --> 00:14:36.400 relationships. 00:14:38.580 --> 00:14:39.379 But at least 00:14:39.379 --> 00:14:39.800 ever since 00:14:39.800 --> 00:14:40.580 the book of Proverbs 00:14:40.580 --> 00:14:41.060 and the example 00:14:41.060 --> 00:14:41.520 of Jonathan, 00:14:41.780 --> 00:14:43.360 family doesn't 00:14:43.360 --> 00:14:44.379 necessarily provide 00:14:44.379 --> 00:14:45.140 that for us. 00:14:46.100 --> 00:14:46.920 It's a myth 00:14:46.920 --> 00:14:47.600 that you can only 00:14:47.600 --> 00:14:48.580 find love 00:14:48.580 --> 00:14:49.400 and intimacy 00:14:49.400 --> 00:14:50.620 in a romantic 00:14:50.620 --> 00:14:51.840 sexual relationship 00:14:51.840 --> 00:14:52.720 and then in family. 00:14:53.620 --> 00:14:54.540 Yet we are constantly 00:14:54.540 --> 00:14:55.900 told through all our media, 00:14:56.340 --> 00:14:56.780 through books, 00:14:56.879 --> 00:14:57.200 through movies, 00:14:57.280 --> 00:14:57.840 through whatnot, 00:14:58.500 --> 00:14:59.440 that we absorb 00:14:59.440 --> 00:15:00.280 each and every day 00:15:00.280 --> 00:15:01.220 that that is so. 00:15:03.000 --> 00:15:03.940 And we end up 00:15:03.940 --> 00:15:04.520 believing it. 00:15:05.200 --> 00:15:06.460 Which leads us 00:15:06.460 --> 00:15:07.200 as Christians 00:15:07.200 --> 00:15:08.740 to idolise the idea 00:15:08.740 --> 00:15:09.740 of the married life, 00:15:10.220 --> 00:15:10.840 to dread 00:15:10.840 --> 00:15:11.879 the single life, 00:15:11.879 --> 00:15:13.980 but also to forget 00:15:13.980 --> 00:15:14.720 altogether 00:15:14.720 --> 00:15:15.559 the value 00:15:15.559 --> 00:15:16.639 and benefit 00:15:16.639 --> 00:15:17.639 of friendships. 00:15:20.279 --> 00:15:21.159 We need to 00:15:21.159 --> 00:15:22.220 deconstruct this myth. 00:15:23.439 --> 00:15:24.179 There is a way 00:15:24.179 --> 00:15:24.700 that we can 00:15:24.700 --> 00:15:25.939 pursue deep 00:15:25.939 --> 00:15:27.019 and meaningful 00:15:27.019 --> 00:15:28.059 friendships 00:15:28.059 --> 00:15:29.200 that are satisfying, 00:15:29.820 --> 00:15:30.659 that are there for us 00:15:30.659 --> 00:15:31.539 in times of need. 00:15:31.919 --> 00:15:33.120 But what this looks like 00:15:33.120 --> 00:15:33.720 for us 00:15:33.720 --> 00:15:34.759 is the question. 00:15:35.200 --> 00:15:36.600 And how does the gospel 00:15:36.600 --> 00:15:37.700 shape our relationships 00:15:37.700 --> 00:15:38.559 is the other question. 00:15:38.559 --> 00:15:40.139 I think the key 00:15:40.139 --> 00:15:41.279 to the strength 00:15:41.279 --> 00:15:41.899 of David 00:15:41.899 --> 00:15:42.839 and Jonathan's 00:15:42.839 --> 00:15:43.819 friendship 00:15:43.819 --> 00:15:45.299 was that they 00:15:45.299 --> 00:15:47.059 placed at the centre, 00:15:47.819 --> 00:15:48.619 was what they placed 00:15:48.619 --> 00:15:49.059 at the centre 00:15:49.059 --> 00:15:49.679 of their relationship. 00:15:50.599 --> 00:15:51.359 And for us, 00:15:51.619 --> 00:15:52.379 that is the key 00:15:52.379 --> 00:15:53.459 as well. 00:15:54.439 --> 00:15:54.959 If you take a moment 00:15:54.959 --> 00:15:56.000 to think of your own friends 00:15:56.000 --> 00:15:56.839 and your own life 00:15:56.839 --> 00:15:57.979 around you, 00:15:58.559 --> 00:15:58.859 think, 00:15:59.539 --> 00:16:00.479 how did I become 00:16:00.479 --> 00:16:01.399 friends of these people 00:16:01.399 --> 00:16:01.839 right now? 00:16:02.839 --> 00:16:04.079 How did I meet them? 00:16:04.599 --> 00:16:05.459 And why are we 00:16:05.459 --> 00:16:06.000 your friends? 00:16:06.179 --> 00:16:07.019 What brought us together? 00:16:07.639 --> 00:16:08.539 Most of the time 00:16:08.539 --> 00:16:09.299 it's going to be 00:16:09.299 --> 00:16:10.519 because of a particular 00:16:10.519 --> 00:16:11.360 circumstance 00:16:11.360 --> 00:16:12.079 that brought you together. 00:16:12.919 --> 00:16:14.039 You've got your work friends 00:16:14.039 --> 00:16:15.679 that you met at work, 00:16:16.179 --> 00:16:17.120 your school friends 00:16:17.120 --> 00:16:18.219 you met at school, 00:16:18.919 --> 00:16:19.620 your church friends 00:16:19.620 --> 00:16:20.860 you met at church, 00:16:21.679 --> 00:16:22.620 your friends at mother group 00:16:22.620 --> 00:16:24.360 that you met at mother group. 00:16:25.439 --> 00:16:26.519 These places 00:16:26.519 --> 00:16:27.199 are the places 00:16:27.199 --> 00:16:28.459 which we make friends. 00:16:29.199 --> 00:16:29.659 And then, 00:16:29.839 --> 00:16:30.659 as you interact 00:16:30.659 --> 00:16:31.919 with all these different people 00:16:31.919 --> 00:16:33.159 in these places, 00:16:33.480 --> 00:16:34.120 you work out 00:16:34.120 --> 00:16:35.099 the people you want 00:16:35.099 --> 00:16:36.019 to be friends with 00:16:36.019 --> 00:16:37.259 based off the similar 00:16:37.259 --> 00:16:38.319 interests you have 00:16:38.320 --> 00:16:38.700 with them, 00:16:39.100 --> 00:16:40.000 you have conversations 00:16:40.000 --> 00:16:41.260 with these people 00:16:41.260 --> 00:16:42.480 and there are moments 00:16:42.480 --> 00:16:43.440 of affinity with them. 00:16:43.879 --> 00:16:44.560 As you say, 00:16:44.700 --> 00:16:45.720 you watch The Bachelor, 00:16:46.060 --> 00:16:46.960 so do I. 00:16:47.580 --> 00:16:48.379 Let's be friends. 00:16:49.220 --> 00:16:50.640 You follow the swans 00:16:50.640 --> 00:16:51.720 and you're grieving too? 00:16:52.040 --> 00:16:52.360 Yes, 00:16:52.400 --> 00:16:52.980 who am I? 00:16:53.980 --> 00:16:55.220 Let's be friends. 00:16:55.800 --> 00:16:56.580 You like travelling? 00:16:56.780 --> 00:16:58.340 You like doing that too? 00:16:58.720 --> 00:16:59.420 So do I. 00:16:59.540 --> 00:17:00.580 Let's be friends. 00:17:02.420 --> 00:17:03.080 C.S. Lewis 00:17:03.080 --> 00:17:04.480 puts it like this. 00:17:05.039 --> 00:17:05.600 Friendship 00:17:05.600 --> 00:17:06.840 is born 00:17:06.840 --> 00:17:07.480 at the moment 00:17:07.480 --> 00:17:08.220 when one man 00:17:08.220 --> 00:17:08.860 says to another, 00:17:09.140 --> 00:17:09.980 what, you too? 00:17:10.960 --> 00:17:11.940 I thought that 00:17:11.940 --> 00:17:13.279 no one but myself 00:17:13.279 --> 00:17:14.240 something. 00:17:15.980 --> 00:17:16.819 Friendship is something 00:17:16.819 --> 00:17:17.799 we enter into 00:17:17.799 --> 00:17:18.519 freely 00:17:18.519 --> 00:17:20.200 with one another 00:17:20.200 --> 00:17:21.319 when we find 00:17:21.319 --> 00:17:22.180 some affinity 00:17:22.180 --> 00:17:23.799 with the other person. 00:17:23.799 --> 00:17:25.240 I remember 00:17:25.240 --> 00:17:26.960 having this exact 00:17:26.960 --> 00:17:28.339 experience at 21st, 00:17:28.399 --> 00:17:29.480 like just like this. 00:17:30.559 --> 00:17:31.379 I semi-crashed 00:17:31.379 --> 00:17:32.259 this 21st 00:17:32.259 --> 00:17:32.960 and the person 00:17:32.960 --> 00:17:33.480 I had met 00:17:33.480 --> 00:17:34.099 was this, 00:17:34.759 --> 00:17:35.960 he's his girlfriend's 00:17:35.960 --> 00:17:36.559 21st. 00:17:37.119 --> 00:17:37.859 And we're on the 00:17:37.859 --> 00:17:38.359 dance floor 00:17:38.359 --> 00:17:39.480 having a great time 00:17:39.480 --> 00:17:40.000 and we just had 00:17:40.000 --> 00:17:40.399 this moment 00:17:40.399 --> 00:17:41.180 where we realised 00:17:41.180 --> 00:17:42.240 we like the same music, 00:17:42.419 --> 00:17:43.139 we like the same 00:17:43.139 --> 00:17:43.980 hobbies, 00:17:44.180 --> 00:17:44.799 we like the same 00:17:44.799 --> 00:17:45.940 kind of clothing brands. 00:17:45.940 --> 00:17:46.640 we had this 00:17:46.640 --> 00:17:47.640 incredible moment 00:17:47.640 --> 00:17:48.440 where we just enjoyed 00:17:48.440 --> 00:17:49.380 each other's hobbies 00:17:49.380 --> 00:17:50.539 and we became 00:17:50.539 --> 00:17:52.000 straight away 00:17:52.000 --> 00:17:53.279 best friends. 00:17:55.799 --> 00:17:56.940 And that sparked 00:17:56.940 --> 00:17:57.700 this friendship. 00:17:59.500 --> 00:18:00.559 We actually are 00:18:00.559 --> 00:18:01.100 quite good 00:18:01.100 --> 00:18:01.779 at establishing 00:18:01.779 --> 00:18:02.700 friendships 00:18:02.700 --> 00:18:03.680 with people. 00:18:04.180 --> 00:18:04.720 All you need 00:18:04.720 --> 00:18:05.259 is a particular 00:18:05.259 --> 00:18:06.080 circumstance 00:18:06.080 --> 00:18:07.100 and a particular 00:18:07.100 --> 00:18:07.680 interest 00:18:07.680 --> 00:18:09.420 and straight away 00:18:09.420 --> 00:18:10.000 you can get 00:18:10.000 --> 00:18:10.740 a friendship going. 00:18:12.640 --> 00:18:13.480 But the problem 00:18:13.480 --> 00:18:14.039 is that we aren't 00:18:14.039 --> 00:18:14.640 very good at 00:18:14.640 --> 00:18:15.440 keeping friends. 00:18:15.940 --> 00:18:17.400 And the reason 00:18:17.400 --> 00:18:17.759 is because 00:18:17.759 --> 00:18:18.460 most of our 00:18:18.460 --> 00:18:18.779 friendships 00:18:18.779 --> 00:18:19.840 fail to be 00:18:19.840 --> 00:18:20.860 any deeper 00:18:20.860 --> 00:18:22.380 than the circumstances 00:18:22.380 --> 00:18:23.920 and the interests 00:18:23.920 --> 00:18:24.539 that we have. 00:18:25.160 --> 00:18:26.200 We rely upon them 00:18:26.200 --> 00:18:26.840 too much 00:18:26.840 --> 00:18:27.820 to hold it all together 00:18:27.820 --> 00:18:29.019 but the reality is 00:18:29.019 --> 00:18:29.779 things change 00:18:29.779 --> 00:18:30.299 over time. 00:18:31.700 --> 00:18:32.600 Interests change 00:18:32.600 --> 00:18:33.840 or we change 00:18:33.840 --> 00:18:34.420 locations 00:18:34.420 --> 00:18:35.200 and then all of a sudden 00:18:35.200 --> 00:18:35.880 our friendships 00:18:35.880 --> 00:18:37.519 also change. 00:18:39.000 --> 00:18:39.759 Danny Hoon 00:18:39.759 --> 00:18:41.539 a friend of mine 00:18:41.539 --> 00:18:42.640 back in high school 00:18:42.640 --> 00:18:43.340 we were in the same 00:18:43.340 --> 00:18:43.960 tutor group 00:18:43.960 --> 00:18:44.799 or home group 00:18:44.799 --> 00:18:45.539 you might call it 00:18:45.539 --> 00:18:46.379 in the same 00:18:46.379 --> 00:18:47.000 social group 00:18:47.000 --> 00:18:47.460 as well 00:18:47.460 --> 00:18:48.799 we caught the same 00:18:48.799 --> 00:18:49.519 bus together 00:18:49.519 --> 00:18:50.940 and we saw each 00:18:50.940 --> 00:18:51.700 other a lot 00:18:51.700 --> 00:18:52.740 throughout high school. 00:18:53.359 --> 00:18:54.139 We would hang out 00:18:54.139 --> 00:18:55.279 every single day. 00:18:55.839 --> 00:18:56.639 We would go to 00:18:56.639 --> 00:18:57.759 Macca's 00:18:57.759 --> 00:18:58.839 during lunchtime 00:18:58.839 --> 00:18:59.460 and sneak off 00:18:59.460 --> 00:19:00.019 in our car. 00:19:00.659 --> 00:19:01.759 After school 00:19:01.759 --> 00:19:02.460 we would go to 00:19:02.460 --> 00:19:03.319 Castle Towers 00:19:03.319 --> 00:19:04.259 and eat Pizza Hut 00:19:04.259 --> 00:19:04.619 together. 00:19:05.359 --> 00:19:06.039 We would hang out 00:19:06.039 --> 00:19:06.859 every single day 00:19:06.859 --> 00:19:07.099 together 00:19:07.099 --> 00:19:08.180 five days a week 00:19:08.180 --> 00:19:08.579 at school. 00:19:09.579 --> 00:19:10.599 It's been eight years 00:19:10.599 --> 00:19:11.339 now since I've 00:19:11.339 --> 00:19:12.039 finished high school 00:19:12.039 --> 00:19:12.960 and I've not seen 00:19:12.960 --> 00:19:13.519 him since. 00:19:14.180 --> 00:19:14.840 I've even heard 00:19:14.840 --> 00:19:15.160 from him. 00:19:15.360 --> 00:19:16.220 I have no idea 00:19:16.220 --> 00:19:16.759 what he's doing 00:19:16.759 --> 00:19:17.259 in his life 00:19:17.259 --> 00:19:18.340 and how he's going. 00:19:19.980 --> 00:19:20.799 Like that 00:19:20.799 --> 00:19:22.539 a solid friendship 00:19:22.539 --> 00:19:24.200 was dismantled 00:19:24.200 --> 00:19:24.720 and gone 00:19:24.720 --> 00:19:26.079 because the 00:19:26.079 --> 00:19:26.720 circumstances 00:19:26.720 --> 00:19:27.799 were taken away 00:19:27.799 --> 00:19:29.360 and the interests 00:19:29.360 --> 00:19:30.279 were not able 00:19:30.279 --> 00:19:30.880 to flourish 00:19:30.880 --> 00:19:31.799 anymore. 00:19:32.799 --> 00:19:33.460 And this 00:19:33.460 --> 00:19:34.120 is the sad 00:19:34.120 --> 00:19:35.000 reality we all 00:19:35.000 --> 00:19:35.380 live in. 00:19:35.900 --> 00:19:36.539 We base 00:19:36.539 --> 00:19:37.380 our friendships 00:19:37.380 --> 00:19:38.720 around the 00:19:38.720 --> 00:19:39.279 convenient 00:19:39.279 --> 00:19:40.140 circumstances 00:19:40.140 --> 00:19:40.720 we all live 00:19:40.720 --> 00:19:40.900 in. 00:19:41.700 --> 00:19:42.200 We struggle 00:19:42.200 --> 00:19:42.520 to stay 00:19:42.520 --> 00:19:42.980 connected 00:19:42.980 --> 00:19:43.480 with people 00:19:43.480 --> 00:19:44.020 as friends 00:19:44.020 --> 00:19:44.600 when those 00:19:44.600 --> 00:19:45.340 circumstances 00:19:45.340 --> 00:19:45.960 change. 00:19:46.880 --> 00:19:47.600 So it's no wonder 00:19:47.600 --> 00:19:48.200 why the world 00:19:48.200 --> 00:19:49.340 views friendship 00:19:49.340 --> 00:19:50.380 as a second 00:19:50.380 --> 00:19:51.420 class relationship. 00:19:51.900 --> 00:19:52.320 It seems 00:19:52.320 --> 00:19:53.840 it's not the 00:19:53.840 --> 00:19:54.420 same as 00:19:54.420 --> 00:19:55.460 marriage 00:19:55.460 --> 00:19:55.920 which has a 00:19:55.920 --> 00:19:56.420 longevity 00:19:56.420 --> 00:19:57.120 and a commitment 00:19:57.120 --> 00:19:57.660 to it 00:19:57.660 --> 00:19:58.740 and therefore 00:19:58.740 --> 00:19:59.360 it can't be 00:19:59.360 --> 00:19:59.900 as satisfying 00:19:59.900 --> 00:20:00.400 for feeling 00:20:00.400 --> 00:20:00.980 as marriage 00:20:00.980 --> 00:20:01.940 or romantic 00:20:01.940 --> 00:20:02.660 sexual 00:20:02.660 --> 00:20:03.320 relationships. 00:20:04.380 --> 00:20:04.900 But as we've 00:20:04.900 --> 00:20:05.400 seen in the 00:20:05.400 --> 00:20:05.780 Bible 00:20:05.780 --> 00:20:07.560 friendship has 00:20:07.560 --> 00:20:08.420 an incredibly 00:20:08.420 --> 00:20:09.340 high status 00:20:09.339 --> 00:20:09.379 friends. 00:20:10.019 --> 00:20:10.439 The Bible 00:20:10.439 --> 00:20:10.980 holds in 00:20:10.980 --> 00:20:11.779 high regard 00:20:11.779 --> 00:20:12.919 friends. 00:20:13.759 --> 00:20:14.079 And it's a 00:20:14.079 --> 00:20:14.579 part of our 00:20:14.579 --> 00:20:15.019 being. 00:20:15.179 --> 00:20:15.539 Known down 00:20:15.539 --> 00:20:15.899 in Genesis 00:20:15.899 --> 00:20:16.240 1. 00:20:16.619 --> 00:20:17.419 Man was not 00:20:17.419 --> 00:20:17.839 meant to 00:20:17.839 --> 00:20:18.459 live alone. 00:20:18.619 --> 00:20:19.059 God made 00:20:19.059 --> 00:20:19.740 us to live 00:20:19.740 --> 00:20:20.639 in friendship. 00:20:20.859 --> 00:20:21.220 Part of 00:20:21.220 --> 00:20:22.079 living in 00:20:22.079 --> 00:20:22.439 the good 00:20:22.439 --> 00:20:22.879 order of 00:20:22.879 --> 00:20:23.339 creation 00:20:23.339 --> 00:20:23.879 part of 00:20:23.879 --> 00:20:24.259 what our 00:20:24.259 --> 00:20:25.119 design is 00:20:25.119 --> 00:20:25.779 is to be 00:20:25.779 --> 00:20:26.500 friends at 00:20:26.500 --> 00:20:26.859 the heart 00:20:26.859 --> 00:20:27.179 of it. 00:20:27.759 --> 00:20:28.379 Not just 00:20:28.379 --> 00:20:29.119 friends with 00:20:29.119 --> 00:20:29.699 God but 00:20:29.699 --> 00:20:30.099 friends of 00:20:30.099 --> 00:20:30.639 each other. 00:20:31.119 --> 00:20:31.539 The gospel 00:20:31.539 --> 00:20:32.519 story not 00:20:32.519 --> 00:20:33.220 only unites 00:20:33.220 --> 00:20:33.819 us to God 00:20:33.819 --> 00:20:34.339 through Jesus' 00:20:34.519 --> 00:20:34.919 death and 00:20:34.919 --> 00:20:35.679 resurrection but 00:20:35.679 --> 00:20:36.419 unites us to 00:20:36.419 --> 00:20:37.259 each other as 00:20:37.259 --> 00:20:37.579 well. 00:20:38.480 --> 00:20:38.839 And so 00:20:38.839 --> 00:20:42.099 how can 00:20:42.099 --> 00:20:42.639 we then 00:20:42.639 --> 00:20:43.740 have 00:20:43.740 --> 00:20:44.480 satisfying 00:20:44.480 --> 00:20:45.839 intimate 00:20:45.839 --> 00:20:47.759 relationships, 00:20:47.899 --> 00:20:48.480 friendships of 00:20:48.480 --> 00:20:48.879 each other? 00:20:52.159 --> 00:20:53.359 The gospel 00:20:53.359 --> 00:20:54.699 I think 00:20:54.699 --> 00:20:56.500 removes the 00:20:56.500 --> 00:20:57.220 circumstances 00:20:57.220 --> 00:20:58.500 and interest 00:20:58.500 --> 00:20:59.439 as the 00:20:59.439 --> 00:21:00.220 things that 00:21:00.220 --> 00:21:00.839 hold our 00:21:00.839 --> 00:21:01.159 friendships 00:21:01.159 --> 00:21:02.359 together and 00:21:02.359 --> 00:21:03.179 replaces these 00:21:03.179 --> 00:21:04.119 things with 00:21:04.119 --> 00:21:05.179 Christ himself 00:21:05.179 --> 00:21:06.379 in the 00:21:06.379 --> 00:21:06.679 centre. 00:21:06.680 --> 00:21:08.259 Christ 00:21:08.259 --> 00:21:08.860 becomes the 00:21:08.860 --> 00:21:10.320 person we 00:21:10.320 --> 00:21:10.860 anchor our 00:21:10.860 --> 00:21:11.720 relationship in 00:21:11.720 --> 00:21:12.640 and by doing 00:21:12.640 --> 00:21:13.080 so the 00:21:13.080 --> 00:21:14.960 friendship is 00:21:14.960 --> 00:21:15.440 given a 00:21:15.440 --> 00:21:16.279 purpose that 00:21:16.279 --> 00:21:17.480 is based in 00:21:17.480 --> 00:21:17.920 eternity. 00:21:18.920 --> 00:21:19.440 It firstly 00:21:19.440 --> 00:21:20.100 removes the 00:21:20.100 --> 00:21:20.820 circumstance from 00:21:20.820 --> 00:21:21.299 the equation 00:21:21.299 --> 00:21:21.900 because the 00:21:21.900 --> 00:21:22.580 place in which 00:21:22.580 --> 00:21:23.259 our relationship 00:21:23.259 --> 00:21:24.740 grows and 00:21:24.740 --> 00:21:25.660 matures is in 00:21:25.660 --> 00:21:26.299 Christ as 00:21:26.299 --> 00:21:27.299 Ephesians 2.13 00:21:27.299 --> 00:21:28.160 reminds us. 00:21:28.160 --> 00:21:29.240 But now in 00:21:29.240 --> 00:21:29.840 Christ Jesus 00:21:29.840 --> 00:21:30.380 you who were 00:21:30.380 --> 00:21:31.320 once far away 00:21:31.320 --> 00:21:31.720 have been 00:21:31.720 --> 00:21:32.680 brought near 00:21:32.680 --> 00:21:33.620 by the 00:21:33.620 --> 00:21:34.259 blood of 00:21:34.259 --> 00:21:34.840 Christ. 00:21:35.220 --> 00:21:35.940 The way in 00:21:35.940 --> 00:21:36.519 which God 00:21:36.519 --> 00:21:37.660 has reconciled 00:21:37.660 --> 00:21:38.400 us to each 00:21:38.400 --> 00:21:39.540 other is by 00:21:39.540 --> 00:21:40.400 drawing us 00:21:40.400 --> 00:21:41.259 together in 00:21:41.259 --> 00:21:41.800 Christ. 00:21:42.040 --> 00:21:42.740 Not in our 00:21:42.740 --> 00:21:43.180 workplace, 00:21:43.540 --> 00:21:44.300 not in our 00:21:44.300 --> 00:21:44.840 mother's groups, 00:21:45.019 --> 00:21:45.759 not in our 00:21:45.759 --> 00:21:47.460 AFL football 00:21:47.460 --> 00:21:48.060 clubs that we 00:21:48.060 --> 00:21:48.519 are a part 00:21:48.519 --> 00:21:50.420 of, but in 00:21:50.420 --> 00:21:50.920 Christ. 00:21:51.580 --> 00:21:52.100 It's in 00:21:52.100 --> 00:21:53.820 him that we 00:21:53.820 --> 00:21:54.380 as believers 00:21:54.380 --> 00:21:55.600 enjoy a place 00:21:55.599 --> 00:21:56.679 for our 00:21:56.679 --> 00:21:57.619 friendship to 00:21:57.619 --> 00:21:58.259 flourish. 00:22:00.039 --> 00:22:01.099 A place that 00:22:01.099 --> 00:22:01.719 will not fade 00:22:01.719 --> 00:22:02.619 away or change, 00:22:02.740 --> 00:22:03.839 a place that 00:22:03.839 --> 00:22:04.619 we cannot escape 00:22:04.619 --> 00:22:06.059 from no matter 00:22:06.059 --> 00:22:06.859 how far we 00:22:06.859 --> 00:22:07.519 might travel, 00:22:08.799 --> 00:22:09.339 a strong 00:22:09.339 --> 00:22:11.019 foundation for 00:22:11.019 --> 00:22:11.500 our friendships 00:22:11.500 --> 00:22:12.059 themselves. 00:22:13.379 --> 00:22:13.859 It also 00:22:13.859 --> 00:22:14.799 removes interest 00:22:14.799 --> 00:22:15.099 from the 00:22:15.099 --> 00:22:15.699 equation because 00:22:15.699 --> 00:22:16.139 we are not 00:22:16.139 --> 00:22:17.159 drawn together 00:22:17.159 --> 00:22:18.159 because of the 00:22:18.159 --> 00:22:18.759 common interest 00:22:18.759 --> 00:22:19.439 we all have in 00:22:19.439 --> 00:22:20.419 something, but 00:22:20.419 --> 00:22:21.000 we are drawn 00:22:21.000 --> 00:22:22.439 together because 00:22:22.439 --> 00:22:23.000 of the common 00:22:23.000 --> 00:22:24.519 faith we 00:22:24.519 --> 00:22:25.099 express. 00:22:25.879 --> 00:22:26.679 Ephesians 4 00:22:26.679 --> 00:22:27.500 4 reminds us 00:22:27.500 --> 00:22:28.019 this, there is 00:22:28.019 --> 00:22:29.199 one body and 00:22:29.199 --> 00:22:30.459 one spirit just 00:22:30.459 --> 00:22:30.839 as you were 00:22:30.839 --> 00:22:31.539 called to one 00:22:31.539 --> 00:22:32.419 hope when you 00:22:32.419 --> 00:22:32.899 were called. 00:22:33.500 --> 00:22:34.319 One Lord, one 00:22:34.319 --> 00:22:35.419 faith, one 00:22:35.419 --> 00:22:36.399 baptism, one 00:22:36.399 --> 00:22:37.139 God and Father 00:22:37.139 --> 00:22:38.019 over all who 00:22:38.019 --> 00:22:39.500 is over all and 00:22:39.500 --> 00:22:40.699 through all and 00:22:40.699 --> 00:22:41.240 in all. 00:22:41.319 --> 00:22:42.619 We are not like a 00:22:42.619 --> 00:22:43.240 football club. 00:22:44.139 --> 00:22:45.519 We haven't all 00:22:45.519 --> 00:22:46.399 come here together 00:22:46.399 --> 00:22:47.399 because we like the 00:22:47.399 --> 00:22:48.619 same AFL team. 00:22:49.339 --> 00:22:49.799 I think that's 00:22:49.799 --> 00:22:50.500 pretty obvious. 00:22:52.079 --> 00:22:52.839 Not even our 00:22:52.839 --> 00:22:53.439 love for waking 00:22:53.439 --> 00:22:54.019 up early on 00:22:54.019 --> 00:22:54.579 Sunday morning. 00:22:55.599 --> 00:22:56.419 to sing and 00:22:56.419 --> 00:22:56.899 to read and 00:22:56.899 --> 00:22:57.599 to hear some 00:22:57.599 --> 00:22:58.279 guy preach and 00:22:58.279 --> 00:22:58.679 to do this 00:22:58.679 --> 00:22:59.159 thing called 00:22:59.159 --> 00:22:59.639 church. 00:23:00.559 --> 00:23:01.099 No, it's in 00:23:01.099 --> 00:23:01.740 the fact that 00:23:01.740 --> 00:23:03.159 God has drawn 00:23:03.159 --> 00:23:04.179 us together in 00:23:04.179 --> 00:23:05.240 Christ and that 00:23:05.240 --> 00:23:05.959 we share this 00:23:05.959 --> 00:23:07.099 same experience 00:23:07.099 --> 00:23:08.779 of being saved 00:23:08.779 --> 00:23:10.139 and being known 00:23:10.139 --> 00:23:10.759 by God and 00:23:10.759 --> 00:23:11.659 that's why we've 00:23:11.659 --> 00:23:12.179 come together 00:23:12.179 --> 00:23:12.899 because God has 00:23:12.899 --> 00:23:13.639 actually brought 00:23:13.639 --> 00:23:14.459 us here together. 00:23:14.799 --> 00:23:15.359 We're all very 00:23:15.359 --> 00:23:16.139 different people. 00:23:16.279 --> 00:23:16.779 We all come from 00:23:16.779 --> 00:23:17.659 different places, 00:23:18.019 --> 00:23:18.779 different backgrounds, 00:23:19.159 --> 00:23:19.919 different interests, 00:23:20.279 --> 00:23:20.759 and yet we're all 00:23:20.759 --> 00:23:21.459 here together. 00:23:21.460 --> 00:23:23.100 that's a miracle. 00:23:24.680 --> 00:23:25.140 None of you would 00:23:25.140 --> 00:23:26.079 be here right now 00:23:26.079 --> 00:23:27.140 if it weren't for 00:23:27.140 --> 00:23:29.920 Christ and for 00:23:29.920 --> 00:23:30.779 him drawing you 00:23:30.779 --> 00:23:31.100 in. 00:23:32.740 --> 00:23:33.600 This is why we 00:23:33.600 --> 00:23:35.240 wake up early to 00:23:35.240 --> 00:23:35.880 come to church. 00:23:36.660 --> 00:23:37.759 This is why I can 00:23:37.759 --> 00:23:38.819 be friends with 00:23:38.819 --> 00:23:40.240 Sam who supports 00:23:40.240 --> 00:23:40.680 GWS. 00:23:42.600 --> 00:23:43.779 Because we are in 00:23:43.779 --> 00:23:44.600 Christ. 00:23:44.599 --> 00:23:46.659 Christ is the 00:23:46.659 --> 00:23:47.319 place in which 00:23:47.319 --> 00:23:48.379 our friendships 00:23:48.379 --> 00:23:50.719 flourish, removing 00:23:50.719 --> 00:23:51.799 circumstance. 00:23:53.000 --> 00:23:53.779 And Christ is the 00:23:53.779 --> 00:23:55.159 person that draws 00:23:55.159 --> 00:23:56.419 us together, removing 00:23:56.419 --> 00:23:57.659 interests from the 00:23:57.659 --> 00:23:58.119 equation. 00:23:58.899 --> 00:23:59.879 And because he is 00:23:59.879 --> 00:24:00.799 such, it means our 00:24:00.799 --> 00:24:01.980 friendships can have 00:24:01.980 --> 00:24:04.119 an eternal purpose. 00:24:05.119 --> 00:24:05.740 And what is that 00:24:05.740 --> 00:24:06.039 purpose? 00:24:06.419 --> 00:24:07.159 It's a mutual 00:24:07.159 --> 00:24:08.919 desire for one 00:24:08.919 --> 00:24:10.419 other to see 00:24:10.419 --> 00:24:11.139 each other, our 00:24:11.139 --> 00:24:12.919 friends, grow in 00:24:12.920 --> 00:24:14.519 maturity in Christ. 00:24:14.600 --> 00:24:15.140 To help them 00:24:15.140 --> 00:24:16.080 continue on the 00:24:16.080 --> 00:24:17.400 journey of faith. 00:24:18.340 --> 00:24:19.200 As Hebrews 10 00:24:19.200 --> 00:24:19.980 reminds us, to 00:24:19.980 --> 00:24:21.000 spur each other 00:24:21.000 --> 00:24:22.380 on towards love 00:24:22.380 --> 00:24:23.259 and good deeds 00:24:23.259 --> 00:24:25.019 all the more as 00:24:25.019 --> 00:24:25.620 we see the day 00:24:25.620 --> 00:24:26.300 approaching. 00:24:26.480 --> 00:24:27.940 Our goal for our 00:24:27.940 --> 00:24:28.660 friendships, our 00:24:28.660 --> 00:24:29.740 Christian spiritual 00:24:29.740 --> 00:24:30.460 friendships, is to 00:24:30.460 --> 00:24:31.880 see each other 00:24:31.880 --> 00:24:33.539 get to the end. 00:24:34.220 --> 00:24:35.320 As we run the 00:24:35.320 --> 00:24:36.700 race together, we 00:24:36.700 --> 00:24:37.580 serve each other, we 00:24:37.580 --> 00:24:38.259 pray for each other, 00:24:38.320 --> 00:24:39.039 we read the words 00:24:39.039 --> 00:24:39.640 together with each 00:24:39.640 --> 00:24:40.700 other, because we 00:24:40.700 --> 00:24:42.600 want to see our 00:24:42.600 --> 00:24:43.819 friends make it. 00:24:46.720 --> 00:24:48.640 When we allow our 00:24:48.640 --> 00:24:50.259 friendships to be 00:24:50.259 --> 00:24:51.759 dictated by the 00:24:51.759 --> 00:24:53.480 world, to allow our 00:24:53.480 --> 00:24:54.559 interests and our 00:24:54.559 --> 00:24:55.640 circumstances to be 00:24:55.640 --> 00:24:57.480 the main things as to 00:24:57.480 --> 00:24:58.279 what holds our 00:24:58.279 --> 00:24:59.160 friendships together, 00:24:59.860 --> 00:25:01.059 we won't only just 00:25:01.059 --> 00:25:03.000 become lonely, but 00:25:03.000 --> 00:25:03.980 we'll also be tempted 00:25:03.980 --> 00:25:05.539 to turn our 00:25:05.539 --> 00:25:06.240 friendships into 00:25:06.240 --> 00:25:08.220 rivals as well. 00:25:08.220 --> 00:25:10.640 being filled with 00:25:10.640 --> 00:25:11.819 envy or jealousy, 00:25:12.680 --> 00:25:13.680 looking at our 00:25:13.680 --> 00:25:14.380 friends becoming 00:25:14.380 --> 00:25:14.940 rivals. 00:25:15.940 --> 00:25:16.839 But when we anchor 00:25:16.839 --> 00:25:18.039 our friendships 00:25:18.039 --> 00:25:19.079 around God in 00:25:19.079 --> 00:25:20.339 Christ, the 00:25:20.339 --> 00:25:21.339 character of 00:25:21.339 --> 00:25:22.380 friendship changes 00:25:22.380 --> 00:25:24.100 to be more about 00:25:24.100 --> 00:25:25.200 serving the other 00:25:25.200 --> 00:25:26.100 person, that is, 00:25:26.160 --> 00:25:27.019 about gaining from 00:25:27.019 --> 00:25:28.500 them, to help them 00:25:28.500 --> 00:25:29.759 run the race of 00:25:29.759 --> 00:25:30.339 life well. 00:25:31.240 --> 00:25:32.220 This is exactly the 00:25:32.220 --> 00:25:33.120 kind of relationship 00:25:33.120 --> 00:25:34.860 Jonathan and David 00:25:34.860 --> 00:25:35.200 had. 00:25:35.920 --> 00:25:36.940 They had at the 00:25:36.940 --> 00:25:37.620 centre of their 00:25:37.619 --> 00:25:38.779 friendship a desire 00:25:38.779 --> 00:25:40.539 to honour and to 00:25:40.539 --> 00:25:42.159 serve God above all 00:25:42.159 --> 00:25:43.079 else, which is why 00:25:43.079 --> 00:25:44.699 Jonathan was not 00:25:44.699 --> 00:25:46.099 tempted to become 00:25:46.099 --> 00:25:47.019 David's rival. 00:25:47.679 --> 00:25:48.099 He was not 00:25:48.099 --> 00:25:51.000 tempted to actually 00:25:51.000 --> 00:25:51.979 in the end support 00:25:51.979 --> 00:25:52.979 his own father who 00:25:52.979 --> 00:25:54.139 was wrong, but he 00:25:54.139 --> 00:25:55.539 desired what was 00:25:55.539 --> 00:25:56.199 good and what was 00:25:56.199 --> 00:25:57.079 right and proper, 00:25:57.259 --> 00:25:57.719 and that was to 00:25:57.719 --> 00:26:01.219 serve David and to 00:26:01.219 --> 00:26:02.159 serve God as his 00:26:02.159 --> 00:26:02.439 king. 00:26:03.359 --> 00:26:04.739 In the same way, as 00:26:04.739 --> 00:26:05.919 we seek to befriend 00:26:05.920 --> 00:26:07.160 one another, our 00:26:07.160 --> 00:26:08.120 desire for doing 00:26:08.120 --> 00:26:09.060 so, it's not 00:26:09.060 --> 00:26:09.680 because we have the 00:26:09.680 --> 00:26:10.500 same interests, 00:26:10.720 --> 00:26:11.259 although that might 00:26:11.259 --> 00:26:11.840 be the case. 00:26:12.800 --> 00:26:13.279 It's not because we're 00:26:13.279 --> 00:26:14.660 in the same place all 00:26:14.660 --> 00:26:15.340 the time, although 00:26:15.340 --> 00:26:16.360 right now we are in 00:26:16.360 --> 00:26:17.120 the same place. 00:26:18.220 --> 00:26:18.840 These things are 00:26:18.840 --> 00:26:19.480 helpful, but the 00:26:19.480 --> 00:26:21.720 ground for which our 00:26:21.720 --> 00:26:22.940 friendships always 00:26:22.940 --> 00:26:24.200 hold together is 00:26:24.200 --> 00:26:24.700 Christ. 00:26:25.740 --> 00:26:27.880 The purpose for its 00:26:27.880 --> 00:26:29.200 longevity is always 00:26:29.200 --> 00:26:30.180 Christ. 00:26:31.380 --> 00:26:31.940 And when we 00:26:31.940 --> 00:26:32.840 practise friendship 00:26:32.839 --> 00:26:34.159 in such a way, that's 00:26:34.159 --> 00:26:35.199 when we enter into 00:26:35.199 --> 00:26:35.879 what is the most 00:26:35.879 --> 00:26:37.079 satisfying and 00:26:37.079 --> 00:26:38.379 fulfilling forms of 00:26:38.379 --> 00:26:39.859 relationship, the 00:26:39.859 --> 00:26:41.279 spiritual friendship. 00:26:42.240 --> 00:26:43.299 As Christians, we 00:26:43.299 --> 00:26:45.059 practise the art of 00:26:45.059 --> 00:26:45.939 spiritual friendship 00:26:45.939 --> 00:26:47.179 for the sake of 00:26:47.179 --> 00:26:48.039 spurring each other 00:26:48.039 --> 00:26:49.939 on towards love and 00:26:49.939 --> 00:26:52.000 good deeds, towards 00:26:52.000 --> 00:26:53.279 helping each other 00:26:53.279 --> 00:26:55.879 seek to glorify and 00:26:55.879 --> 00:26:56.980 to make God look 00:26:56.980 --> 00:26:57.399 great. 00:26:58.199 --> 00:26:59.139 That is the ultimate 00:26:59.139 --> 00:27:00.579 purpose of our life, 00:27:00.659 --> 00:27:01.859 to live and to love 00:27:01.859 --> 00:27:02.799 God, and that's the 00:27:02.799 --> 00:27:04.359 purpose of our 00:27:04.359 --> 00:27:05.139 friendships, to help 00:27:05.139 --> 00:27:07.419 make that flourish and 00:27:07.419 --> 00:27:08.599 easy in some way. 00:27:09.379 --> 00:27:10.459 To be there when it's 00:27:10.459 --> 00:27:11.299 difficult and to be 00:27:11.299 --> 00:27:12.039 there when it's good. 00:27:13.159 --> 00:27:14.079 To continue to draw 00:27:14.079 --> 00:27:15.339 our eyes back to God 00:27:15.339 --> 00:27:16.439 in both those times. 00:27:19.259 --> 00:27:20.359 That we might all 00:27:20.359 --> 00:27:21.359 reach the goal of 00:27:21.359 --> 00:27:24.819 being with him and 00:27:24.819 --> 00:27:26.599 with each other in the 00:27:26.599 --> 00:27:27.240 new creation. 00:27:28.179 --> 00:27:29.459 When that is the goal 00:27:29.459 --> 00:27:30.979 of our friendships, it 00:27:30.980 --> 00:27:32.360 will allow the space 00:27:32.360 --> 00:27:34.500 for being loved and 00:27:34.500 --> 00:27:36.200 cared for, vulnerable 00:27:36.200 --> 00:27:38.460 and helped, satisfied 00:27:38.460 --> 00:27:39.860 and fulfilled as we 00:27:39.860 --> 00:27:41.460 seek in Christ not 00:27:41.460 --> 00:27:43.819 only one's present 00:27:43.819 --> 00:27:45.880 good, but also one's 00:27:45.880 --> 00:27:46.759 eternal good. 00:27:46.759 --> 00:27:47.200 Amen. 00:27:47.200 --> 00:27:48.319 Indeed. 00:27:48.379 --> 00:27:48.400 Amen. 00:27:52.460 --> 00:27:52.480 Amen. 00:27:52.480 --> 00:27:52.599 Amen. 00:27:52.619 --> 00:27:56.440 Amen. 00:27:56.579 --> 00:27:56.940 Amen. 00:27:56.960 --> 00:27:57.019 Amen. 00:27:57.039 --> 00:27:57.519 Amen. 00:27:57.619 --> 00:27:57.660 Amen. 00:27:57.680 --> 00:27:57.779 Amen. 00:27:58.039 --> 00:27:58.440 Amen. 00:27:58.500 --> 00:27:58.859 Amen. 00:27:58.879 --> 00:27:59.579 Amen. 00:27:59.579 --> 00:27:59.859 Amen. 00:27:59.859 --> 00:28:00.359 Amen. 00:28:00.420 --> 00:28:00.920 Amen. 00:28:00.920 --> 00:28:01.319 Amen. 00:28:02.039 --> 00:28:02.099 Amen. 00:28:02.099 --> 00:28:02.319 Amen. 00:28:02.319 --> 00:28:02.640 Amen. 00:28:02.740 --> 00:28:02.940 Amen. 00:28:03.259 --> 00:28:03.640 Amen. 00:28:03.640 --> 00:28:03.660 Amen. 00:28:03.900 --> 00:28:04.240 Amen. 00:28:04.259 --> 00:28:04.460 Amen. 00:28:04.460 --> 00:28:04.480 Amen. 00:28:04.480 --> 00:28:04.920 Amen. 00:28:04.920 --> 00:28:04.980 Amen. 00:28:04.980 --> 00:28:05.039 Amen. 00:28:05.039 --> 00:28:05.140 Amen. 00:28:05.140 --> 00:28:05.460 Amen. 00:28:05.660 --> 00:28:05.980 Amen. 00:28:05.980 --> 00:28:06.400 Amen. 00:28:06.400 --> 00:28:06.599 Amen. 00:28:06.599 --> 00:28:07.140 Amen. 00:28:07.140 --> 00:28:07.319 Amen. 00:28:07.339 --> 00:28:07.759 Amen. 00:28:07.759 --> 00:28:07.920 Amen. 00:28:07.920 --> 00:28:08.559 Amen. 00:28:08.559 --> 00:28:08.740 Amen. 00:28:08.759 --> 00:28:08.980 Amen. 00:28:08.980 --> 00:28:09.420 Amen. 00:28:09.420 --> 00:28:09.960 Amen. 00:28:09.960 --> 00:28:10.980 Amen. 00:28:10.980 --> 00:28:11.640 Amen. 00:28:11.640 --> 00:28:12.339 Amen. 00:28:12.359 --> 00:28:12.920 Amen. 00:28:12.920 --> 00:28:13.920 Amen. 00:28:13.920 --> 00:28:14.539 Amen. 00:28:14.539 --> 00:28:15.599 Amen. 00:28:15.619 --> 00:28:16.519 Amen.