WEBVTT

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 I'm reading from two passages today.

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 One is Ephesians chapter 5, chapter 5, sorry, verse 21 to 33.

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!

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 Giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ,

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 submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.

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 Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord.

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 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church.

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 His body and is himself its saviour.

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 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

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 Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,

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 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,

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 so that he might present the church to himself in splendour,

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 without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish,

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 in the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies.

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 He who loves his wife loves himself.

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 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes it and cherishes it,

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 just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.

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 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife,

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 and the two shall become one flesh.

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 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.

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 However, let each of you love his wife as himself,

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 and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

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 I'm also reading from 1 Peter 3 verses 1 to 7.

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 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands,

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 so that even if some do not obey the word,

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 they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives,

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 when they see your respectful and pure conduct.

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 Do not let your adorning be external,

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 the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewellery,

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 or the clothing you wear.

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 But let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart

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 with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit,

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 which in God's sight is very precious.

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 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God

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 used to adorn themselves,

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 by submitting to their own husbands,

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 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord.

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 And you are her children if you do good,

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 and do not fear anything that is frightening.

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 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way,

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 showing honour to the woman as the weaker vessel,

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 since they are heirs with you of the grace of life,

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 so that your prayers may not be hindered.

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 This is the word of the Lord.

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 Well, good morning, everyone.

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 Will you join?

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 No one wants to be close to me today.

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 Will you join with me in prayer?

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 Let's pray.

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 Lord, with our hearts full,

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 singing that song,

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 Jesus and all in him is mine, is ours.

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 It's incredible what you've lavished on us.

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 With our hearts full,

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 help us come to your word,

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 expecting your word to fill us again.

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 Give us trusting and understanding minds and hearts.

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 And I pray this in Jesus' name.

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 Amen.

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 Well,

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 would you agree with me?

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 In all our relationships,

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 whether they be friendships,

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 parent-children, marriage,

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 we were created for,

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 our hearts therefore long for,

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 unconditional love.

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 That unwavering,

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 all-forgiving,

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 never-ending,

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 affectionate

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 love,

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 not based on your performance.

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 We crave unconditional love,

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 but

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 don't we also fear losing control?

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 We often settle for this transactional attitude.

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 I will only do for you

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 when I am sure you will do this for me.

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 It's not unconditional.

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 I'll only do this if you do that.

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 I think we often settle for keeping score.

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 We do this bookkeeping.

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 I don't know,

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 maybe I'm alone in this.

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 I'm going to read the body language in the room.

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 We do this bookkeeping in our minds.

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 We've got these two columns.

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 My rights,

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 I deserve this.

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 Here's your rights over here,

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 I suppose.

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 And we keep this ledger.

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 And in marriage,

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 some people try and just keep it fair.

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 They think that's going to build intimacy and trust.

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 It doesn't.

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 Point scoring doesn't work.

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 Equal nappy changes,

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 equal spending money,

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 equal chores.

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 If you are anything like me,

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 you're going to overemphasize your column,

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 my rights.

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 You're going to quickly excuse yourself

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 if you don't fulfill what your spouse needs.

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 And you want a pound of flesh

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 if they don't give you what you think you deserve.

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 Bookkeeping,

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 it creates a power struggle.

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 It doesn't create intimacy.

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 It creates a power struggle.

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 Who's got the most leverage?

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 Who's ahead in the point scoring game?

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 The problem is,

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 you're working off two totally different lists.

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 Each of you often think you're ahead.

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 It's all about leverage.

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 It's not about trust.

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 It's not unconditional.

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 And resentment,

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 feeling things aren't fair,

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 can really quickly come in,

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 like within hours.

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 It comes so quickly to us.

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 Transactional relating,

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 I think,

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 is an attempt to try and stay in control.

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 We want unconditional love,

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 but we're not,

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 we don't want to let go of control.

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 We know it comes at the cost

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 of letting go of control.

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 And...

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 It leaves us empty

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 and self-pitying

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 and angry

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 and a power struggle,

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 this bookkeeping.

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 When you attend wedding ceremonies,

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 why do we all find the vows such...

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 As long as it's not,

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 they made their own vows,

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 like,

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 you're amazing,

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 I'm going to do all the dishes

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 or something weird.

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 As long as it's more

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 those traditional vows,

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 it's a moving moment,

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 isn't it?

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 Like,

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 we all love it.

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 Why?

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 Because it's an expression

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 of unconditional love.

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 It's,

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 I'm going to love you

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 when you're a jerk.

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 When you're sick

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 and the care has to go one way.

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 When I don't feel like it.

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 Full stop.

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 There's no other side of the ledger.

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 And we're like,

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 yes.

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 That's...

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 We all crave it.

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 We're made for it.

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 How do we get it?

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 Well,

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 in Ephesians 5,

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 as we come to how men

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 and women are called

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 to relate to one another

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 in marriage,

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 in every sentence here,

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 Paul wants our thoughts

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 filled with Christ.

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 In the section on husbands,

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 most of it

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 isn't about husbands.

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 It's just jam-packed

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 with talking about Christ.

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 Paul is just bursting,

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 he's gushing

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 to talk about

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 Christ's unconditional love.

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 And here's the primary reason

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 why this passage

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 is extremely relevant

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 for all of us in this room,

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 whether you're married or single.

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 It's extremely relevant

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 because

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 this passage is mainly

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 about Christ and the church.

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 It's speaking to husbands

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 and wives.

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 But Paul can't help himself.

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 It's just about

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 Christ and the church.

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 There's a metaphor

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 that runs throughout

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 this passage.

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 It's the picture

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 of one body,

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 one flesh,

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 as we saw

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 at the beginning

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 of creation,

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 one body.

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 Now,

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 we think of husbands

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 and wives,

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 and yes,

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 that's the conclusion,

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 but actually,

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 Paul wants us

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 to focus on

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 this is how Christ

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 thinks of us.

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 Let this sink in.

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 Christ doesn't think

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 of his people

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 as servants,

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 merely servants

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 and soldiers.

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 Go here.

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 Go do this.

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 He thinks of us

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 as his own body.

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 That's incredible.

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 His own flesh.

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 He alone

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 truly died

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 for his bride.

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 He alone

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 by his word

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 washes us.

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 He alone

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 is making us

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 not into this

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 beautiful statue,

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 but to present

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 us to himself.

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 It's a relational

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 picture.

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 It's an intimate

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 picture.

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 Christ nourishes

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 his body.

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 He cherishes

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 us.

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 We are members

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 of his body.

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 The key

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 to finding

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 that unconditional

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 love is not

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 to focus on

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 your spouse.

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 It's actually

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 to focus on

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 Christ,

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 his unconditional

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 love.

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 The one flesh

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 union we saw

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 in the beginning

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 in Genesis,

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 Paul is saying

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 when a man

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 leaves his

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 father and

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 mother and

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 is united

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 to his wife,

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 I'm saying

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 that mystery

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 was really

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 getting us

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 ready to

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 understand the

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 real thing.

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 Christ and

00:11:04.720 --> 00:11:05.240
 his people.

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 That's how

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 he thinks

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 of us.

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 He doesn't

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 love us

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 based on our

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 performance.

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 It's unconditional

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 love.

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 When we

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 rejected him,

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 he died for

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 us.

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 When we

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 resist his

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 care for us

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 still,

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 we struggle

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 to trust

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 him.

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 We want

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 to go our

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 own way.

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 We want

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 to be in

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 control.

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 He remains

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 committed to

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 washing us,

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 making us

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 spotless,

00:11:33.939 --> 00:11:35.519
 so that we're

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 united and

00:11:36.860 --> 00:11:37.519
 enjoy him

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 forever.

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 And so here

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 we see that

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 overlap of the

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 ages again.

00:11:43.099 --> 00:11:43.559
 We need to

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 understand we're

00:11:44.399 --> 00:11:45.259
 in the overlap

00:11:45.259 --> 00:11:46.019
 of the ages.

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 Marriage is

00:11:48.399 --> 00:11:49.200
 God's good

00:11:49.200 --> 00:11:49.960
 idea from the

00:11:49.960 --> 00:11:50.419
 beginning of

00:11:50.419 --> 00:11:51.200
 creation in

00:11:51.200 --> 00:11:52.580
 paradise, but

00:11:52.580 --> 00:11:56.100
 it's just a

00:11:56.100 --> 00:11:57.120
 metaphor in the

00:11:57.120 --> 00:11:57.480
 end of the

00:11:57.480 --> 00:11:57.759
 day.

00:11:58.039 --> 00:11:58.399
 It's an

00:11:58.399 --> 00:12:00.419
 analogy so

00:12:00.419 --> 00:12:00.799
 that we would

00:12:00.799 --> 00:12:02.120
 understand the

00:12:02.120 --> 00:12:02.519
 thing it's

00:12:02.519 --> 00:12:03.139
 pointing to,

00:12:03.240 --> 00:12:03.639
 the thing that

00:12:03.639 --> 00:12:04.779
 actually lasts,

00:12:04.879 --> 00:12:05.279
 the thing that

00:12:05.279 --> 00:12:06.639
 actually satisfies

00:12:06.639 --> 00:12:09.600
 our one flesh

00:12:09.600 --> 00:12:10.200
 union with

00:12:10.200 --> 00:12:10.539
 Jesus.

00:12:10.539 --> 00:12:10.679
 Jesus.

00:12:16.399 --> 00:12:17.659
 Only Jesus

00:12:17.659 --> 00:12:18.579
 can redeem

00:12:18.579 --> 00:12:19.980
 human marriage

00:12:19.980 --> 00:12:20.980
 to be based

00:12:20.980 --> 00:12:21.799
 on unconditional

00:12:21.799 --> 00:12:22.319
 love.

00:12:23.360 --> 00:12:24.199
 He's the only

00:12:24.199 --> 00:12:24.559
 one.

00:12:26.980 --> 00:12:27.459
 And our

00:12:27.459 --> 00:12:29.819
 goal for

00:12:29.819 --> 00:12:30.419
 husbands and

00:12:30.419 --> 00:12:31.299
 wives is to

00:12:31.299 --> 00:12:32.679
 bring glory to

00:12:32.679 --> 00:12:33.039
 Jesus.

00:12:34.519 --> 00:12:35.459
 For people to

00:12:35.459 --> 00:12:37.159
 see just this

00:12:37.159 --> 00:12:39.679
 albeit imperfect

00:12:39.679 --> 00:12:41.519
 picture of the

00:12:41.519 --> 00:12:42.819
 sacrificial love

00:12:42.819 --> 00:12:44.839
 of Jesus for

00:12:44.839 --> 00:12:47.179
 his people and

00:12:47.179 --> 00:12:48.439
 the willingness

00:12:48.439 --> 00:12:49.459
 to trust

00:12:49.459 --> 00:12:50.139
 Jesus.

00:12:50.339 --> 00:12:51.179
 I can trust

00:12:51.179 --> 00:12:52.099
 him and

00:12:52.099 --> 00:12:52.759
 follow him.

00:12:55.579 --> 00:12:56.439
 So this

00:12:56.439 --> 00:12:56.959
 passage is

00:12:56.959 --> 00:12:58.099
 mainly about

00:12:58.099 --> 00:12:59.039
 Christ and

00:12:59.039 --> 00:12:59.559
 the church.

00:13:02.439 --> 00:13:03.259
 And for

00:13:03.259 --> 00:13:04.679
 singles, I

00:13:04.679 --> 00:13:05.240
 like what

00:13:05.240 --> 00:13:05.779
 Sam

00:13:05.779 --> 00:13:06.079
 Albury

00:13:06.079 --> 00:13:06.479
 says.

00:13:07.439 --> 00:13:08.120
 If marriage

00:13:08.120 --> 00:13:09.019
 shows us the

00:13:09.019 --> 00:13:09.980
 shape of the

00:13:09.980 --> 00:13:10.360
 gospel,

00:13:11.419 --> 00:13:11.960
 singleness

00:13:11.960 --> 00:13:12.960
 shows us

00:13:12.960 --> 00:13:13.980
 its

00:13:13.980 --> 00:13:14.720
 sufficiency.

00:13:17.639 --> 00:13:18.059
 We're all

00:13:18.059 --> 00:13:19.539
 marriage is,

00:13:19.679 --> 00:13:20.259
 human marriage

00:13:20.259 --> 00:13:20.980
 is a temporary

00:13:20.980 --> 00:13:21.559
 thing.

00:13:23.840 --> 00:13:24.679
 Getting us

00:13:24.679 --> 00:13:25.819
 ready for

00:13:25.819 --> 00:13:26.779
 that eternal,

00:13:27.379 --> 00:13:28.259
 deeply satisfying

00:13:28.259 --> 00:13:28.720
 thing.

00:13:29.319 --> 00:13:30.639
 Us united to

00:13:30.639 --> 00:13:31.279
 Jesus, one

00:13:31.279 --> 00:13:31.579
 body.

00:13:34.860 --> 00:13:36.220
 So, how

00:13:36.220 --> 00:13:36.779
 does he

00:13:36.779 --> 00:13:39.559
 redeem human

00:13:39.559 --> 00:13:40.019
 marriage?

00:13:42.919 --> 00:13:43.500
 We're going

00:13:43.500 --> 00:13:43.980
 to look at

00:13:43.980 --> 00:13:45.199
 husbands and

00:13:45.199 --> 00:13:46.419
 then wives.

00:13:46.559 --> 00:13:46.939
 So let's

00:13:46.939 --> 00:13:47.699
 start with the

00:13:47.699 --> 00:13:48.019
 husbands.

00:13:50.819 --> 00:13:51.579
 One night,

00:13:51.620 --> 00:13:52.100
 Emma was

00:13:52.100 --> 00:13:53.059
 lying on the

00:13:53.059 --> 00:13:53.519
 living room

00:13:53.519 --> 00:13:53.959
 floor.

00:13:54.819 --> 00:13:55.339
 And I was

00:13:55.339 --> 00:13:55.579
 on the

00:13:55.579 --> 00:13:56.199
 lounge and I

00:13:56.199 --> 00:13:57.000
 had my feet

00:13:57.000 --> 00:13:57.399
 on her

00:13:57.399 --> 00:13:57.799
 back.

00:13:57.799 --> 00:14:05.059
 does the

00:14:05.059 --> 00:14:05.620
 idea of

00:14:05.620 --> 00:14:06.339
 headship and

00:14:06.339 --> 00:14:06.879
 submission,

00:14:07.539 --> 00:14:07.939
 does that

00:14:07.939 --> 00:14:12.719
 conjure up

00:14:12.719 --> 00:14:13.379
 that sort of

00:14:13.379 --> 00:14:14.379
 emotional image?

00:14:16.719 --> 00:14:17.439
 Now, here's

00:14:17.439 --> 00:14:17.740
 what was

00:14:17.740 --> 00:14:18.019
 actually

00:14:18.019 --> 00:14:18.379
 happening.

00:14:18.819 --> 00:14:19.219
 I just

00:14:19.219 --> 00:14:19.599
 wanted to

00:14:19.599 --> 00:14:20.059
 relax.

00:14:20.639 --> 00:14:21.839
 But she

00:14:21.839 --> 00:14:22.620
 was like,

00:14:22.699 --> 00:14:22.959
 can you

00:14:22.959 --> 00:14:23.579
 massage my

00:14:23.579 --> 00:14:25.120
 back with

00:14:25.120 --> 00:14:25.859
 your feet?

00:14:25.979 --> 00:14:26.459
 I was like,

00:14:26.740 --> 00:14:27.559
 not really.

00:14:27.799 --> 00:14:28.379
 I didn't

00:14:28.379 --> 00:14:28.699
 want to.

00:14:28.740 --> 00:14:29.059
 That was

00:14:29.059 --> 00:14:29.399
 what was

00:14:29.399 --> 00:14:29.899
 really going

00:14:29.899 --> 00:14:30.120
 on.

00:14:30.179 --> 00:14:30.439
 She was

00:14:30.439 --> 00:14:30.859
 reading a

00:14:30.859 --> 00:14:31.179
 book and

00:14:31.179 --> 00:14:31.479
 I was

00:14:31.479 --> 00:14:32.079
 massaging

00:14:32.079 --> 00:14:32.419
 with my

00:14:32.419 --> 00:14:33.359
 feet, as

00:14:33.359 --> 00:14:33.659
 much as

00:14:33.659 --> 00:14:33.939
 you can

00:14:33.939 --> 00:14:34.219
 with your

00:14:34.219 --> 00:14:34.399
 feet.

00:14:35.439 --> 00:14:36.339
 The picture

00:14:36.339 --> 00:14:37.079
 of headship

00:14:37.079 --> 00:14:37.879
 and submission,

00:14:40.240 --> 00:14:41.240
 I've been

00:14:41.240 --> 00:14:42.179
 searching for

00:14:42.179 --> 00:14:43.519
 a picture for

00:14:43.519 --> 00:14:44.339
 us to

00:14:44.339 --> 00:14:44.979
 understand it.

00:14:45.019 --> 00:14:46.179
 The best I've

00:14:46.179 --> 00:14:46.839
 ever come up

00:14:46.839 --> 00:14:48.359
 with is, I

00:14:48.359 --> 00:14:48.620
 think it's

00:14:48.620 --> 00:14:49.539
 ballroom dancing.

00:14:50.179 --> 00:14:50.719
 Now, that's

00:14:50.719 --> 00:14:50.959
 not going to

00:14:50.959 --> 00:14:51.479
 be everyone's

00:14:51.479 --> 00:14:52.000
 cup of tea,

00:14:52.099 --> 00:14:52.599
 I understand.

00:14:53.120 --> 00:14:53.419
 But,

00:14:55.120 --> 00:14:55.679
 I really,

00:14:56.000 --> 00:14:56.439
 if you've

00:14:56.439 --> 00:14:56.819
 ever watched

00:14:56.820 --> 00:14:57.580
 really good

00:14:57.580 --> 00:14:58.420
 ballroom dancing,

00:14:58.520 --> 00:14:59.420
 the man is

00:14:59.420 --> 00:14:59.879
 meant to

00:14:59.879 --> 00:15:00.280
 lead.

00:15:01.620 --> 00:15:02.040
 But,

00:15:03.520 --> 00:15:04.540
 when you

00:15:04.540 --> 00:15:05.020
 watch it,

00:15:05.080 --> 00:15:05.420
 you're not

00:15:05.420 --> 00:15:06.160
 going, wow,

00:15:06.980 --> 00:15:07.740
 that man is

00:15:07.740 --> 00:15:08.379
 in control.

00:15:09.340 --> 00:15:10.180
 It's this

00:15:10.180 --> 00:15:11.680
 partner, it's

00:15:11.680 --> 00:15:12.060
 just a

00:15:12.060 --> 00:15:12.720
 stunning,

00:15:13.480 --> 00:15:14.100
 unified,

00:15:14.300 --> 00:15:14.920
 harmonious

00:15:14.920 --> 00:15:15.520
 dance.

00:15:16.520 --> 00:15:17.220
 I think

00:15:17.220 --> 00:15:18.000
 that's the

00:15:18.000 --> 00:15:18.640
 kind of image

00:15:18.640 --> 00:15:18.960
 we should

00:15:18.960 --> 00:15:19.760
 have, not

00:15:19.760 --> 00:15:20.500
 me with my

00:15:20.500 --> 00:15:22.080
 feet on a

00:15:22.080 --> 00:15:22.780
 woman's back.

00:15:22.779 --> 00:15:25.639
 picture a

00:15:25.639 --> 00:15:26.720
 ballroom dance,

00:15:26.779 --> 00:15:27.339
 a stunning

00:15:27.339 --> 00:15:28.120
 dance.

00:15:29.980 --> 00:15:30.839
 God has

00:15:30.839 --> 00:15:31.559
 created a

00:15:31.559 --> 00:15:32.299
 difference between

00:15:32.299 --> 00:15:32.720
 men and

00:15:32.720 --> 00:15:33.480
 women, but

00:15:33.480 --> 00:15:33.959
 it's a

00:15:33.959 --> 00:15:34.360
 difference to

00:15:34.360 --> 00:15:35.000
 be enjoyed.

00:15:35.579 --> 00:15:35.799
 And the

00:15:35.799 --> 00:15:36.259
 husband's

00:15:36.259 --> 00:15:37.079
 dance steps,

00:15:38.259 --> 00:15:38.980
 step one,

00:15:39.120 --> 00:15:39.539
 die.

00:15:42.240 --> 00:15:43.220
 I never

00:15:43.220 --> 00:15:43.639
 said it was

00:15:43.639 --> 00:15:44.019
 an easy

00:15:44.019 --> 00:15:44.459
 dance.

00:15:45.740 --> 00:15:46.259
 Husbands,

00:15:46.419 --> 00:15:46.819
 love your

00:15:46.819 --> 00:15:47.559
 wives just

00:15:47.559 --> 00:15:48.159
 as Christ

00:15:48.159 --> 00:15:49.039
 loved the

00:15:49.039 --> 00:15:49.740
 church and

00:15:49.740 --> 00:15:50.879
 gave himself

00:15:50.879 --> 00:15:51.720
 up for

00:15:51.720 --> 00:15:52.220
 her.

00:15:55.639 --> 00:15:56.320
 The

00:15:56.320 --> 00:15:56.799
 metaphor

00:15:56.799 --> 00:15:58.460
 and the

00:15:58.460 --> 00:15:58.960
 sense of

00:15:58.960 --> 00:15:59.980
 head does

00:15:59.980 --> 00:16:00.500
 carry

00:16:00.500 --> 00:16:01.220
 authority.

00:16:01.980 --> 00:16:02.340
 There is

00:16:02.340 --> 00:16:02.720
 meant to be

00:16:02.720 --> 00:16:03.279
 leadership.

00:16:04.039 --> 00:16:04.500
 But as we

00:16:04.500 --> 00:16:05.059
 saw in the

00:16:05.059 --> 00:16:05.740
 first sermon,

00:16:06.779 --> 00:16:07.480
 the cross

00:16:07.480 --> 00:16:08.360
 redefines

00:16:08.360 --> 00:16:08.879
 authority.

00:16:09.779 --> 00:16:10.439
 The greatest

00:16:10.439 --> 00:16:11.120
 is a

00:16:11.120 --> 00:16:11.779
 slave.

00:16:13.600 --> 00:16:14.100
 Husbands

00:16:14.100 --> 00:16:15.340
 were called

00:16:15.340 --> 00:16:16.039
 to reflect

00:16:16.039 --> 00:16:16.740
 Christ's

00:16:16.740 --> 00:16:17.220
 headship

00:16:17.220 --> 00:16:18.480
 in being

00:16:18.480 --> 00:16:19.299
 a slave.

00:16:20.879 --> 00:16:22.480
 for your

00:16:22.480 --> 00:16:22.960
 wife,

00:16:24.220 --> 00:16:24.779
 her best

00:16:24.779 --> 00:16:25.299
 interests.

00:16:27.899 --> 00:16:28.559
 So we're

00:16:28.559 --> 00:16:28.960
 called to

00:16:28.960 --> 00:16:29.500
 die

00:16:29.500 --> 00:16:30.200
 constantly.

00:16:33.259 --> 00:16:34.279
 The second

00:16:34.279 --> 00:16:34.899
 dance step

00:16:34.899 --> 00:16:35.759
 is we're

00:16:35.759 --> 00:16:36.200
 meant to be

00:16:36.200 --> 00:16:36.960
 thinking one

00:16:36.960 --> 00:16:37.879
 body.

00:16:39.559 --> 00:16:40.200
 Verse 28,

00:16:40.299 --> 00:16:40.939
 husbands ought

00:16:40.939 --> 00:16:41.519
 to love their

00:16:41.519 --> 00:16:42.039
 wives as

00:16:42.039 --> 00:16:42.460
 their own

00:16:42.460 --> 00:16:43.120
 bodies.

00:16:43.899 --> 00:16:44.220
 He who

00:16:44.220 --> 00:16:44.799
 loves his

00:16:44.799 --> 00:16:45.580
 wife loves

00:16:45.580 --> 00:16:46.179
 himself.

00:16:46.679 --> 00:16:47.220
 We should

00:16:47.220 --> 00:16:47.620
 be thinking

00:16:47.620 --> 00:16:48.580
 one flesh,

00:16:49.139 --> 00:16:49.539
 not this

00:16:49.539 --> 00:16:50.279
 power struggle,

00:16:50.279 --> 00:16:51.100
 but I

00:16:51.100 --> 00:16:51.659
 think Paul

00:16:51.659 --> 00:16:52.259
 is using

00:16:52.259 --> 00:16:52.839
 head.

00:16:53.639 --> 00:16:54.019
 Yes,

00:16:54.100 --> 00:16:54.279
 there's

00:16:54.279 --> 00:16:55.019
 authority in

00:16:55.019 --> 00:16:55.159
 it,

00:16:55.199 --> 00:16:55.740
 but I

00:16:55.740 --> 00:16:56.360
 think he's

00:16:56.360 --> 00:16:56.939
 using it

00:16:56.939 --> 00:16:57.799
 for this

00:16:57.799 --> 00:16:58.740
 metaphor of

00:16:58.740 --> 00:16:59.759
 one body.

00:17:01.519 --> 00:17:02.079
 The whole

00:17:02.079 --> 00:17:02.980
 paragraph is

00:17:02.980 --> 00:17:03.679
 about being

00:17:03.679 --> 00:17:04.480
 one flesh.

00:17:07.379 --> 00:17:07.940
 Now,

00:17:08.019 --> 00:17:08.420
 we can't

00:17:08.420 --> 00:17:09.079
 impose our

00:17:09.079 --> 00:17:09.799
 own ideas

00:17:09.799 --> 00:17:10.480
 of what

00:17:10.480 --> 00:17:11.779
 headship

00:17:11.779 --> 00:17:12.220
 and love

00:17:12.220 --> 00:17:12.619
 mean.

00:17:12.799 --> 00:17:13.339
 Christ

00:17:13.339 --> 00:17:14.399
 is the

00:17:14.399 --> 00:17:14.639
 model.

00:17:14.940 --> 00:17:15.359
 It's his

00:17:15.359 --> 00:17:16.099
 attitudes and

00:17:16.099 --> 00:17:16.519
 love for his

00:17:16.519 --> 00:17:17.059
 people that

00:17:17.059 --> 00:17:17.539
 defines

00:17:17.539 --> 00:17:18.220
 headships.

00:17:18.220 --> 00:17:21.440
 If we

00:17:21.440 --> 00:17:21.860
 think about

00:17:21.860 --> 00:17:22.200
 how he

00:17:22.200 --> 00:17:22.799
 loves his

00:17:22.799 --> 00:17:23.200
 church,

00:17:23.420 --> 00:17:24.559
 it's so

00:17:24.559 --> 00:17:25.100
 much more

00:17:25.100 --> 00:17:25.620
 than him

00:17:25.620 --> 00:17:26.140
 wearing the

00:17:26.140 --> 00:17:26.680
 pants.

00:17:28.079 --> 00:17:29.019
 He took

00:17:29.019 --> 00:17:29.220
 the

00:17:29.220 --> 00:17:29.880
 responsibility

00:17:29.880 --> 00:17:30.700
 for his

00:17:30.700 --> 00:17:31.100
 bride,

00:17:31.319 --> 00:17:31.880
 even for

00:17:31.880 --> 00:17:32.640
 the mess

00:17:32.640 --> 00:17:33.660
 our sin

00:17:33.660 --> 00:17:34.039
 caused.

00:17:34.180 --> 00:17:34.680
 He took

00:17:34.680 --> 00:17:34.839
 the

00:17:34.839 --> 00:17:35.339
 responsibility.

00:17:36.579 --> 00:17:37.000
 He took

00:17:37.000 --> 00:17:37.600
 the hits.

00:17:38.720 --> 00:17:39.200
 The song

00:17:39.200 --> 00:17:39.500
 we sang,

00:17:39.539 --> 00:17:39.759
 I can't

00:17:39.759 --> 00:17:40.120
 remember the

00:17:40.120 --> 00:17:40.640
 exact lyrics,

00:17:40.799 --> 00:17:41.640
 but he

00:17:41.640 --> 00:17:42.299
 took the

00:17:42.299 --> 00:17:42.779
 wrath of

00:17:42.779 --> 00:17:43.259
 God.

00:17:43.259 --> 00:17:46.160
 He took

00:17:46.160 --> 00:17:46.299
 the

00:17:46.299 --> 00:17:47.000
 responsibility.

00:17:48.480 --> 00:17:48.720
 He

00:17:48.720 --> 00:17:49.539
 nourishes.

00:17:50.980 --> 00:17:51.500
 He

00:17:51.500 --> 00:17:52.200
 cherishes.

00:17:53.900 --> 00:17:54.599
 He uses

00:17:54.599 --> 00:17:54.980
 all his

00:17:54.980 --> 00:17:55.660
 power to

00:17:55.660 --> 00:17:56.240
 serve at

00:17:56.240 --> 00:17:56.680
 cost to

00:17:56.680 --> 00:17:57.099
 himself.

00:17:58.539 --> 00:17:58.700
 So,

00:17:59.960 --> 00:18:00.599
 husbands are

00:18:00.599 --> 00:18:01.099
 to reflect

00:18:01.099 --> 00:18:01.420
 this.

00:18:02.819 --> 00:18:03.680
 Think one

00:18:03.680 --> 00:18:03.980
 body,

00:18:04.119 --> 00:18:04.819
 anything you

00:18:04.819 --> 00:18:05.680
 do for

00:18:05.680 --> 00:18:06.240
 your wife,

00:18:06.319 --> 00:18:06.900
 in a sense

00:18:06.900 --> 00:18:07.400
 we're called

00:18:07.400 --> 00:18:08.200
 to sacrifice,

00:18:08.480 --> 00:18:08.839
 in another

00:18:08.839 --> 00:18:09.379
 sense we're

00:18:09.379 --> 00:18:09.940
 one body,

00:18:10.039 --> 00:18:10.400
 so anything

00:18:10.400 --> 00:18:10.839
 you do

00:18:10.839 --> 00:18:11.299
 for her,

00:18:11.299 --> 00:18:12.859
 you're

00:18:12.859 --> 00:18:13.220
 doing for

00:18:13.220 --> 00:18:13.680
 yourself,

00:18:14.079 --> 00:18:16.259
 because you're

00:18:16.259 --> 00:18:16.960
 so united.

00:18:21.119 --> 00:18:21.599
 So,

00:18:21.720 --> 00:18:22.200
 what does

00:18:22.200 --> 00:18:22.639
 it mean

00:18:22.639 --> 00:18:23.159
 to love?

00:18:23.279 --> 00:18:23.659
 I think

00:18:23.659 --> 00:18:24.319
 looking at

00:18:24.319 --> 00:18:24.740
 Christ,

00:18:25.839 --> 00:18:26.599
 we can

00:18:26.599 --> 00:18:28.419
 try and

00:18:28.419 --> 00:18:29.139
 map out

00:18:29.139 --> 00:18:30.279
 a few

00:18:30.279 --> 00:18:30.960
 more details.

00:18:31.099 --> 00:18:31.480
 I think

00:18:31.480 --> 00:18:31.919
 it does

00:18:31.919 --> 00:18:32.379
 involve

00:18:32.379 --> 00:18:33.000
 provision.

00:18:33.799 --> 00:18:34.059
 He

00:18:34.059 --> 00:18:34.879
 nourishes

00:18:34.879 --> 00:18:37.339
 his body.

00:18:38.919 --> 00:18:39.339
 It

00:18:39.339 --> 00:18:40.019
 satisfies

00:18:40.019 --> 00:18:40.740
 a man

00:18:40.740 --> 00:18:41.599
 to provide

00:18:41.599 --> 00:18:42.759
 for his

00:18:42.759 --> 00:18:43.220
 wife and

00:18:43.220 --> 00:18:43.660
 family.

00:18:44.400 --> 00:18:44.819
 It's

00:18:44.819 --> 00:18:45.440
 good and

00:18:45.440 --> 00:18:45.859
 honourable

00:18:45.859 --> 00:18:46.200
 to put

00:18:46.200 --> 00:18:46.680
 food on

00:18:46.680 --> 00:18:47.160
 the table,

00:18:47.359 --> 00:18:48.079
 money in

00:18:48.079 --> 00:18:48.500
 the account

00:18:48.500 --> 00:18:48.960
 for bills,

00:18:49.079 --> 00:18:49.980
 but headship

00:18:49.980 --> 00:18:50.640
 is also

00:18:50.640 --> 00:18:51.579
 spiritually

00:18:51.579 --> 00:18:52.059
 minded.

00:18:52.220 --> 00:18:52.819
 You know

00:18:52.819 --> 00:18:54.079
 your family's

00:18:54.079 --> 00:18:55.359
 wellbeing does

00:18:55.359 --> 00:18:56.220
 not live off

00:18:56.220 --> 00:18:57.079
 bread alone.

00:18:57.440 --> 00:18:58.059
 It lives off

00:18:58.059 --> 00:18:59.140
 every word

00:18:59.140 --> 00:19:00.019
 that proceeds

00:19:00.019 --> 00:19:00.400
 from the

00:19:00.400 --> 00:19:00.779
 mouth of

00:19:00.779 --> 00:19:01.160
 God.

00:19:02.680 --> 00:19:03.740
 Paul points

00:19:03.740 --> 00:19:04.180
 us to

00:19:04.180 --> 00:19:04.799
 Christ's

00:19:04.799 --> 00:19:06.059
 word that

00:19:06.059 --> 00:19:06.480
 is going

00:19:06.480 --> 00:19:07.220
 to feed

00:19:07.220 --> 00:19:08.099
 and nourish

00:19:08.099 --> 00:19:09.579
 the

00:19:09.579 --> 00:19:09.980
 family.

00:19:11.019 --> 00:19:11.379
 So there

00:19:11.379 --> 00:19:11.740
 is a

00:19:11.740 --> 00:19:12.319
 spiritual

00:19:12.319 --> 00:19:13.339
 provision

00:19:13.339 --> 00:19:14.079
 here,

00:19:14.599 --> 00:19:14.959
 making

00:19:14.959 --> 00:19:15.559
 sure

00:19:15.559 --> 00:19:16.959
 that the

00:19:16.959 --> 00:19:17.379
 word of

00:19:17.379 --> 00:19:17.740
 God is

00:19:17.740 --> 00:19:18.599
 filling the

00:19:18.599 --> 00:19:18.939
 family

00:19:18.939 --> 00:19:19.579
 richly.

00:19:23.740 --> 00:19:24.740
 I think

00:19:24.740 --> 00:19:25.219
 it involves

00:19:25.219 --> 00:19:25.959
 protection.

00:19:27.299 --> 00:19:27.559
 Adam

00:19:27.559 --> 00:19:28.399
 failed to

00:19:28.399 --> 00:19:29.179
 protect Eve

00:19:29.179 --> 00:19:30.379
 in the

00:19:30.379 --> 00:19:30.879
 temptation,

00:19:31.699 --> 00:19:33.159
 but Jesus

00:19:33.159 --> 00:19:33.639
 took the

00:19:33.639 --> 00:19:33.959
 hits.

00:19:33.960 --> 00:19:37.160
 I don't

00:19:37.160 --> 00:19:37.620
 think this

00:19:37.620 --> 00:19:39.000
 protection is

00:19:39.000 --> 00:19:39.420
 about

00:19:39.420 --> 00:19:40.140
 competence.

00:19:40.620 --> 00:19:41.180
 I like an

00:19:41.180 --> 00:19:41.940
 illustration I

00:19:41.940 --> 00:19:42.200
 heard.

00:19:43.340 --> 00:19:44.180
 If the

00:19:44.180 --> 00:19:44.920
 wife has a

00:19:44.920 --> 00:19:45.500
 black belt

00:19:45.500 --> 00:19:46.559
 in karate

00:19:46.559 --> 00:19:47.140
 and you

00:19:47.140 --> 00:19:47.559
 hear a

00:19:47.559 --> 00:19:48.160
 noise at

00:19:48.160 --> 00:19:48.960
 night in

00:19:48.960 --> 00:19:49.460
 the house

00:19:49.460 --> 00:19:49.980
 thinking there

00:19:49.980 --> 00:19:50.380
 might be an

00:19:50.380 --> 00:19:50.779
 intruder,

00:19:51.559 --> 00:19:52.039
 the husband

00:19:52.039 --> 00:19:52.480
 doesn't go,

00:19:52.720 --> 00:19:54.620
 well, you

00:19:54.620 --> 00:19:54.860
 got the

00:19:54.860 --> 00:19:55.319
 black belt,

00:19:55.620 --> 00:19:57.200
 you go down

00:19:57.200 --> 00:19:57.720
 and see what

00:19:57.720 --> 00:19:58.160
 that is.

00:19:59.220 --> 00:19:59.700
 He doesn't

00:19:59.700 --> 00:20:00.019
 look at her

00:20:00.019 --> 00:20:00.319
 and go,

00:20:00.579 --> 00:20:00.840
 we're a

00:20:00.840 --> 00:20:01.380
 50-50

00:20:01.380 --> 00:20:02.000
 marriage,

00:20:03.100 --> 00:20:03.720
 your turn.

00:20:03.960 --> 00:20:06.799
 there's

00:20:06.799 --> 00:20:08.740
 something that

00:20:08.740 --> 00:20:11.059
 men are

00:20:11.059 --> 00:20:12.460
 made for to

00:20:12.460 --> 00:20:12.940
 go down

00:20:12.940 --> 00:20:13.500
 first.

00:20:16.240 --> 00:20:17.000
 It's

00:20:17.000 --> 00:20:17.819
 protecting her

00:20:17.819 --> 00:20:18.279
 physically

00:20:18.279 --> 00:20:20.960
 and it's

00:20:20.960 --> 00:20:21.680
 protecting her

00:20:21.680 --> 00:20:22.799
 spiritually from

00:20:22.799 --> 00:20:24.299
 false ideas

00:20:24.299 --> 00:20:27.039
 and false

00:20:27.039 --> 00:20:28.019
 paths to

00:20:28.019 --> 00:20:28.259
 take.

00:20:29.440 --> 00:20:29.840
 So I

00:20:29.840 --> 00:20:30.120
 think it's

00:20:30.120 --> 00:20:30.620
 provision,

00:20:31.720 --> 00:20:32.480
 especially the

00:20:32.480 --> 00:20:32.860
 word of

00:20:32.860 --> 00:20:33.160
 God.

00:20:33.160 --> 00:20:34.420
 I think

00:20:34.420 --> 00:20:34.800
 there's

00:20:34.800 --> 00:20:35.779
 protection

00:20:35.779 --> 00:20:37.759
 physically,

00:20:38.040 --> 00:20:38.500
 spiritually.

00:20:40.540 --> 00:20:41.300
 But it

00:20:41.300 --> 00:20:41.980
 also involves

00:20:41.980 --> 00:20:42.300
 feeling

00:20:42.300 --> 00:20:43.040
 primarily

00:20:43.040 --> 00:20:43.840
 responsible

00:20:43.840 --> 00:20:45.680
 for

00:20:45.680 --> 00:20:46.140
 decision

00:20:46.140 --> 00:20:46.560
 making.

00:20:47.660 --> 00:20:48.420
 Adam in

00:20:48.420 --> 00:20:48.800
 the garden

00:20:48.800 --> 00:20:49.259
 was held

00:20:49.259 --> 00:20:49.900
 primarily

00:20:49.900 --> 00:20:50.600
 responsible

00:20:50.600 --> 00:20:51.220
 for the

00:20:51.220 --> 00:20:51.540
 fall.

00:20:53.420 --> 00:20:53.779
 Now,

00:20:54.180 --> 00:20:54.740
 I think

00:20:54.740 --> 00:20:55.300
 this principle

00:20:55.300 --> 00:20:56.360
 can be

00:20:56.360 --> 00:20:56.920
 played out

00:20:56.920 --> 00:20:57.360
 very

00:20:57.360 --> 00:20:57.820
 differently

00:20:57.820 --> 00:20:58.640
 depending on

00:20:58.640 --> 00:20:59.360
 personality

00:20:59.359 --> 00:20:59.919
 and

00:20:59.919 --> 00:21:00.359
 culture.

00:21:01.059 --> 00:21:01.679
 So I

00:21:01.679 --> 00:21:04.139
 don't want

00:21:04.139 --> 00:21:04.819
 to be too

00:21:04.819 --> 00:21:07.240
 narrow in

00:21:07.240 --> 00:21:07.879
 the application

00:21:07.879 --> 00:21:08.579
 but I

00:21:08.579 --> 00:21:08.979
 want us to

00:21:08.979 --> 00:21:09.519
 understand the

00:21:09.519 --> 00:21:10.099
 principle at

00:21:10.099 --> 00:21:10.359
 least.

00:21:11.779 --> 00:21:12.379
 Let's say

00:21:12.379 --> 00:21:15.240
 I'm going to

00:21:15.240 --> 00:21:16.379
 risk an

00:21:16.379 --> 00:21:17.259
 illustration so

00:21:17.259 --> 00:21:17.699
 that we can

00:21:17.699 --> 00:21:18.459
 try and grasp

00:21:18.459 --> 00:21:19.059
 the principle.

00:21:19.379 --> 00:21:19.859
 Let's say

00:21:19.859 --> 00:21:20.559
 husband and

00:21:20.559 --> 00:21:20.859
 wife,

00:21:21.639 --> 00:21:22.379
 you're agreed,

00:21:22.779 --> 00:21:23.579
 let's buy a

00:21:23.579 --> 00:21:24.199
 big house.

00:21:24.200 --> 00:21:24.259
 house.

00:21:25.460 --> 00:21:25.920
 There's no

00:21:25.920 --> 00:21:26.960
 competition.

00:21:27.819 --> 00:21:28.039
 You're

00:21:28.039 --> 00:21:28.559
 agreed on

00:21:28.559 --> 00:21:28.779
 this.

00:21:32.200 --> 00:21:32.720
 Headship,

00:21:33.600 --> 00:21:34.160
 bearing that

00:21:34.160 --> 00:21:34.660
 primary

00:21:34.660 --> 00:21:35.460
 responsibility,

00:21:36.000 --> 00:21:36.519
 ought to be

00:21:36.519 --> 00:21:37.200
 making sure

00:21:37.200 --> 00:21:37.660
 that you've

00:21:37.660 --> 00:21:38.180
 checked your

00:21:38.180 --> 00:21:38.680
 motives.

00:21:38.920 --> 00:21:39.620
 Why are you

00:21:39.620 --> 00:21:40.120
 buying that

00:21:40.120 --> 00:21:40.480
 house?

00:21:41.660 --> 00:21:42.420
 What are your

00:21:42.420 --> 00:21:43.220
 goals in it?

00:21:43.220 --> 00:21:44.100
 It could be

00:21:44.100 --> 00:21:44.680
 very

00:21:44.680 --> 00:21:46.900
 un-Christlike.

00:21:47.440 --> 00:21:48.200
 It could be

00:21:48.200 --> 00:21:49.420
 let's have

00:21:49.420 --> 00:21:49.900
 comfort,

00:21:50.960 --> 00:21:51.339
 let's have

00:21:51.339 --> 00:21:51.600
 a better

00:21:51.600 --> 00:21:52.799
 reputation in

00:21:52.799 --> 00:21:53.299
 the neighbourhood

00:21:53.299 --> 00:21:54.120
 or among

00:21:54.120 --> 00:21:54.539
 others,

00:21:55.259 --> 00:21:55.880
 let's have

00:21:55.880 --> 00:21:56.360
 our friends

00:21:56.360 --> 00:21:56.880
 over for

00:21:56.880 --> 00:21:57.519
 pool parties

00:21:57.519 --> 00:21:58.880
 or it

00:21:58.880 --> 00:21:59.259
 could be

00:21:59.259 --> 00:21:59.839
 for Christ's

00:21:59.839 --> 00:22:00.100
 sake.

00:22:01.440 --> 00:22:02.480
 Let's fit a

00:22:02.480 --> 00:22:03.319
 Bible study in

00:22:03.319 --> 00:22:03.960
 our lounge room,

00:22:04.059 --> 00:22:04.759
 let's have our

00:22:04.759 --> 00:22:05.839
 ageing parents

00:22:05.839 --> 00:22:06.360
 be able to

00:22:06.360 --> 00:22:06.920
 live with us,

00:22:07.059 --> 00:22:08.600
 let's be

00:22:08.600 --> 00:22:08.980
 able to have

00:22:08.980 --> 00:22:10.160
 guests come

00:22:10.160 --> 00:22:11.039
 and stay or

00:22:11.039 --> 00:22:11.620
 people who

00:22:11.620 --> 00:22:12.640
 are really

00:22:12.640 --> 00:22:13.200
 desperate

00:22:13.200 --> 00:22:13.460
 for a

00:22:13.460 --> 00:22:13.600
 common

00:22:13.600 --> 00:22:15.519
 I think

00:22:15.519 --> 00:22:15.779
 bearing

00:22:15.779 --> 00:22:16.279
 responsibility

00:22:16.279 --> 00:22:16.620
 is just

00:22:16.620 --> 00:22:17.039
 making sure

00:22:17.039 --> 00:22:18.440
 is everything

00:22:18.440 --> 00:22:18.940
 we do

00:22:18.940 --> 00:22:19.480
 living for

00:22:19.480 --> 00:22:19.900
 Christ?

00:22:23.980 --> 00:22:24.819
 Now again,

00:22:25.779 --> 00:22:26.140
 I don't

00:22:26.140 --> 00:22:26.559
 think this is

00:22:26.559 --> 00:22:27.480
 because men

00:22:27.480 --> 00:22:28.080
 are more

00:22:28.080 --> 00:22:29.019
 competent at

00:22:29.019 --> 00:22:29.840
 making decisions.

00:22:31.840 --> 00:22:32.600
 In our

00:22:32.600 --> 00:22:33.180
 household,

00:22:35.000 --> 00:22:37.840
 something we

00:22:37.840 --> 00:22:38.440
 have to decide

00:22:38.440 --> 00:22:39.019
 is medical

00:22:39.019 --> 00:22:39.759
 decisions.

00:22:40.819 --> 00:22:40.960
 Now,

00:22:41.400 --> 00:22:42.080
 Emma's a

00:22:42.080 --> 00:22:42.420
 GP,

00:22:43.200 --> 00:22:46.299
 she tells

00:22:46.299 --> 00:22:46.680
 me this

00:22:46.680 --> 00:22:47.559
 Latin name

00:22:47.559 --> 00:22:47.920
 when the

00:22:47.920 --> 00:22:48.600
 kids need

00:22:48.600 --> 00:22:49.680
 this cream.

00:22:50.640 --> 00:22:51.380
 Can you

00:22:51.380 --> 00:22:51.740
 put this

00:22:51.740 --> 00:22:52.440
 cream on

00:22:52.440 --> 00:22:52.580
 there?

00:22:52.640 --> 00:22:52.860
 I'm like,

00:22:53.360 --> 00:22:54.140
 is that the

00:22:54.140 --> 00:22:54.860
 blue tube

00:22:54.860 --> 00:22:55.259
 or the

00:22:55.259 --> 00:22:55.819
 white tube?

00:22:56.580 --> 00:22:57.420
 There is a

00:22:57.420 --> 00:22:58.580
 huge difference

00:22:58.580 --> 00:22:58.980
 in our

00:22:58.980 --> 00:22:59.440
 competence

00:22:59.440 --> 00:23:01.500
 in this

00:23:01.500 --> 00:23:01.940
 area.

00:23:02.519 --> 00:23:03.720
 But I've

00:23:03.720 --> 00:23:04.380
 been convicted

00:23:04.380 --> 00:23:06.840
 that without

00:23:06.840 --> 00:23:07.240
 being,

00:23:07.960 --> 00:23:08.460
 you can

00:23:08.460 --> 00:23:09.400
 judge me

00:23:09.400 --> 00:23:09.920
 later if you

00:23:09.920 --> 00:23:10.059
 want,

00:23:10.059 --> 00:23:11.500
 don't think

00:23:11.500 --> 00:23:11.980
 I'm being

00:23:11.980 --> 00:23:12.879
 coercive and

00:23:12.879 --> 00:23:13.579
 micromanaging,

00:23:13.740 --> 00:23:14.500
 but I've

00:23:14.500 --> 00:23:15.039
 been convicted

00:23:15.039 --> 00:23:15.399
 that I

00:23:15.399 --> 00:23:16.240
 can't just

00:23:16.240 --> 00:23:17.480
 leave that

00:23:17.480 --> 00:23:18.879
 entirely to

00:23:18.879 --> 00:23:19.099
 her,

00:23:19.159 --> 00:23:19.960
 otherwise she

00:23:19.960 --> 00:23:20.720
 carries the

00:23:20.720 --> 00:23:21.659
 consequences of

00:23:21.659 --> 00:23:22.079
 all those

00:23:22.079 --> 00:23:22.559
 decisions.

00:23:25.500 --> 00:23:26.379
 You can tell

00:23:26.379 --> 00:23:26.679
 me if you

00:23:26.679 --> 00:23:27.200
 disagree with

00:23:27.200 --> 00:23:27.579
 me later.

00:23:27.700 --> 00:23:28.019
 I think

00:23:28.019 --> 00:23:28.419
 bearing

00:23:28.419 --> 00:23:29.019
 primary

00:23:29.019 --> 00:23:29.779
 responsibility

00:23:29.779 --> 00:23:29.839
 responsibility

00:23:29.839 --> 00:23:32.920
 is you

00:23:32.920 --> 00:23:33.399
 feel like

00:23:33.399 --> 00:23:33.819
 the buck

00:23:33.819 --> 00:23:34.480
 stops with

00:23:34.480 --> 00:23:34.819
 you.

00:23:38.079 --> 00:23:38.379
 And if

00:23:38.379 --> 00:23:38.799
 the goal

00:23:38.799 --> 00:23:39.119
 is to

00:23:39.119 --> 00:23:39.559
 care for

00:23:39.559 --> 00:23:40.119
 your family,

00:23:42.039 --> 00:23:42.339
 you shouldn't

00:23:42.339 --> 00:23:42.519
 be,

00:23:43.119 --> 00:23:43.440
 husbands,

00:23:43.559 --> 00:23:43.819
 don't be

00:23:43.819 --> 00:23:44.579
 threatened when

00:23:44.579 --> 00:23:45.079
 your wife is

00:23:45.079 --> 00:23:45.680
 more competent

00:23:45.680 --> 00:23:46.319
 in an area.

00:23:46.519 --> 00:23:47.420
 If they can

00:23:47.420 --> 00:23:48.160
 fulfil that

00:23:48.160 --> 00:23:48.839
 care better

00:23:48.839 --> 00:23:49.359
 than you

00:23:49.359 --> 00:23:49.599
 can,

00:23:49.859 --> 00:23:50.160
 that's

00:23:50.160 --> 00:23:50.440
 great,

00:23:50.519 --> 00:23:50.779
 we should

00:23:50.779 --> 00:23:51.099
 welcome

00:23:51.099 --> 00:23:51.379
 it.

00:23:51.380 --> 00:23:57.460
 Because

00:23:57.460 --> 00:23:57.860
 we're

00:23:57.860 --> 00:23:58.300
 sinful

00:23:58.300 --> 00:23:58.980
 husbands,

00:23:59.400 --> 00:23:59.900
 unlike

00:23:59.900 --> 00:24:00.460
 Christ,

00:24:02.020 --> 00:24:02.960
 I think

00:24:02.960 --> 00:24:03.200
 we can

00:24:03.200 --> 00:24:05.400
 also take

00:24:05.400 --> 00:24:06.060
 the lead

00:24:06.060 --> 00:24:07.540
 when arguments

00:24:07.540 --> 00:24:08.200
 break out.

00:24:09.740 --> 00:24:10.220
 We can

00:24:10.220 --> 00:24:10.680
 take the

00:24:10.680 --> 00:24:11.300
 lead in

00:24:11.300 --> 00:24:11.980
 laying any

00:24:11.980 --> 00:24:12.420
 leverage

00:24:12.420 --> 00:24:12.840
 down.

00:24:14.720 --> 00:24:15.500
 It

00:24:15.500 --> 00:24:16.060
 takes

00:24:16.060 --> 00:24:18.000
 courage

00:24:18.000 --> 00:24:19.420
 to apologise

00:24:19.420 --> 00:24:20.180
 first.

00:24:21.380 --> 00:24:22.060
 Because

00:24:22.060 --> 00:24:22.620
 it feels

00:24:22.620 --> 00:24:23.020
 like

00:24:23.020 --> 00:24:24.100
 you're

00:24:24.100 --> 00:24:24.360
 laying

00:24:24.360 --> 00:24:24.580
 your

00:24:24.580 --> 00:24:25.240
 control

00:24:25.240 --> 00:24:25.880
 out of

00:24:25.880 --> 00:24:26.960
 completely

00:24:26.960 --> 00:24:27.480
 down.

00:24:27.620 --> 00:24:28.000
 Who knows

00:24:28.000 --> 00:24:28.320
 what they're

00:24:28.320 --> 00:24:28.520
 going to

00:24:28.520 --> 00:24:28.900
 do with

00:24:28.900 --> 00:24:29.240
 that if

00:24:29.240 --> 00:24:29.780
 you apologise

00:24:29.780 --> 00:24:30.280
 first.

00:24:30.440 --> 00:24:30.880
 And that's

00:24:30.880 --> 00:24:31.560
 exactly what's

00:24:31.560 --> 00:24:31.880
 happening.

00:24:32.420 --> 00:24:32.880
 You are

00:24:32.880 --> 00:24:33.360
 laying the

00:24:33.360 --> 00:24:33.680
 control

00:24:33.680 --> 00:24:34.000
 down.

00:24:38.820 --> 00:24:39.520
 So I'm

00:24:39.520 --> 00:24:40.020
 trying to put

00:24:40.020 --> 00:24:40.700
 flesh and

00:24:40.700 --> 00:24:41.000
 what it

00:24:41.000 --> 00:24:41.680
 means in

00:24:41.680 --> 00:24:42.020
 following

00:24:42.020 --> 00:24:42.640
 Christ,

00:24:43.280 --> 00:24:44.000
 in dying

00:24:44.000 --> 00:24:44.700
 and thinking

00:24:44.700 --> 00:24:45.580
 one flesh.

00:24:48.480 --> 00:24:49.300
 The goal

00:24:49.300 --> 00:24:49.960
 for the

00:24:49.960 --> 00:24:50.320
 husband

00:24:50.319 --> 00:24:52.059
 is that

00:24:52.059 --> 00:24:52.980
 she shines.

00:24:55.960 --> 00:24:56.720
 Christ's

00:24:56.720 --> 00:24:57.279
 goal

00:24:57.279 --> 00:24:59.319
 is to

00:24:59.319 --> 00:24:59.799
 make us

00:24:59.799 --> 00:25:00.480
 beautiful,

00:25:00.700 --> 00:25:01.339
 spotless.

00:25:03.419 --> 00:25:03.899
 The

00:25:03.899 --> 00:25:04.599
 without

00:25:04.599 --> 00:25:05.539
 spot or

00:25:05.539 --> 00:25:05.919
 wrinkle,

00:25:07.079 --> 00:25:07.740
 I think

00:25:07.740 --> 00:25:08.159
 obviously

00:25:08.159 --> 00:25:08.619
 that's a

00:25:08.619 --> 00:25:08.960
 metaphor

00:25:08.960 --> 00:25:10.079
 for our

00:25:10.079 --> 00:25:10.599
 character.

00:25:13.879 --> 00:25:14.679
 The

00:25:14.679 --> 00:25:15.220
 husband's

00:25:15.220 --> 00:25:16.059
 goal in

00:25:16.059 --> 00:25:16.859
 exercising his

00:25:16.859 --> 00:25:17.879
 authority has

00:25:17.879 --> 00:25:18.819
 to be aligned

00:25:18.819 --> 00:25:19.639
 with Christ's

00:25:19.639 --> 00:25:19.859
 goal.

00:25:20.319 --> 00:25:23.139
 not happy

00:25:23.139 --> 00:25:23.720
 wife,

00:25:23.939 --> 00:25:24.700
 happy life.

00:25:25.480 --> 00:25:26.079
 We've all

00:25:26.079 --> 00:25:26.419
 heard that

00:25:26.419 --> 00:25:26.579
 one,

00:25:26.639 --> 00:25:26.899
 haven't we?

00:25:27.740 --> 00:25:28.500
 Not happy

00:25:28.500 --> 00:25:28.740
 wife,

00:25:28.819 --> 00:25:29.220
 happy life.

00:25:29.679 --> 00:25:30.139
 Holy

00:25:30.139 --> 00:25:30.579
 wife,

00:25:30.879 --> 00:25:31.679
 unbelievably

00:25:31.679 --> 00:25:32.700
 joyous,

00:25:33.059 --> 00:25:33.599
 forever,

00:25:33.799 --> 00:25:34.679
 into eternity

00:25:34.679 --> 00:25:35.240
 wife.

00:25:36.099 --> 00:25:36.500
 Now I know

00:25:36.500 --> 00:25:36.779
 it doesn't

00:25:36.779 --> 00:25:37.220
 have the same

00:25:37.220 --> 00:25:37.839
 ring to it,

00:25:37.960 --> 00:25:38.119
 okay?

00:25:38.460 --> 00:25:40.500
 But there

00:25:40.500 --> 00:25:40.960
 is no

00:25:40.960 --> 00:25:41.899
 conflict between

00:25:41.899 --> 00:25:42.599
 holiness and

00:25:42.599 --> 00:25:42.960
 happiness.

00:25:42.960 --> 00:25:43.100
 happiness.

00:25:43.400 --> 00:25:43.740
 If you

00:25:43.740 --> 00:25:44.660
 pursue her

00:25:44.660 --> 00:25:45.079
 holiness,

00:25:45.340 --> 00:25:45.680
 you are

00:25:45.680 --> 00:25:46.680
 pursuing her

00:25:46.680 --> 00:25:47.480
 happiness.

00:25:50.740 --> 00:25:51.240
 Husbands

00:25:51.240 --> 00:25:51.799
 don't actually,

00:25:51.900 --> 00:25:52.600
 we don't get

00:25:52.600 --> 00:25:53.220
 the right to

00:25:53.220 --> 00:25:54.340
 choose where

00:25:54.340 --> 00:25:55.539
 we're taking

00:25:55.539 --> 00:25:56.559
 the marriage.

00:25:57.299 --> 00:25:57.680
 Christ

00:25:57.680 --> 00:25:59.140
 has already

00:25:59.140 --> 00:25:59.680
 told us.

00:26:02.500 --> 00:26:03.200
 You're not

00:26:03.200 --> 00:26:03.779
 leading your

00:26:03.779 --> 00:26:04.420
 wife where you

00:26:04.420 --> 00:26:04.819
 want to go,

00:26:04.900 --> 00:26:05.279
 you're leading

00:26:05.279 --> 00:26:05.819
 where Jesus

00:26:05.819 --> 00:26:06.259
 wants you

00:26:06.259 --> 00:26:07.079
 both to go.

00:26:16.299 --> 00:26:17.259
 So die

00:26:17.259 --> 00:26:17.839
 daily,

00:26:19.359 --> 00:26:20.119
 bear the

00:26:20.119 --> 00:26:20.500
 primary

00:26:20.500 --> 00:26:21.160
 responsibility.

00:26:21.720 --> 00:26:22.440
 It's not

00:26:22.440 --> 00:26:23.099
 thinking I'm

00:26:23.099 --> 00:26:23.500
 the boss,

00:26:23.579 --> 00:26:24.079
 it's thinking

00:26:24.079 --> 00:26:25.099
 we're one

00:26:25.099 --> 00:26:25.839
 body here.

00:26:26.819 --> 00:26:27.200
 And the

00:26:27.200 --> 00:26:27.920
 goal is

00:26:27.920 --> 00:26:28.319
 Jesus'

00:26:28.519 --> 00:26:28.740
 goal,

00:26:28.920 --> 00:26:29.200
 so that

00:26:29.200 --> 00:26:30.059
 she shines

00:26:30.059 --> 00:26:30.720
 in his

00:26:30.720 --> 00:26:31.119
 word.

00:26:33.259 --> 00:26:34.279
 So that's

00:26:34.279 --> 00:26:34.819
 the call on

00:26:34.819 --> 00:26:35.240
 husbands,

00:26:35.480 --> 00:26:35.839
 that's what

00:26:35.839 --> 00:26:36.419
 unconditional

00:26:36.419 --> 00:26:37.119
 love

00:26:37.119 --> 00:26:37.679
 reflecting

00:26:37.679 --> 00:26:38.240
 Christ

00:26:38.240 --> 00:26:39.039
 looks like.

00:26:40.539 --> 00:26:40.759
 So

00:26:40.759 --> 00:26:41.279
 transitioning

00:26:41.279 --> 00:26:42.220
 to God's

00:26:42.220 --> 00:26:42.659
 call on

00:26:42.659 --> 00:26:43.220
 wives.

00:26:46.899 --> 00:26:47.639
 This is

00:26:47.639 --> 00:26:48.319
 partly why I

00:26:48.319 --> 00:26:48.720
 like the

00:26:48.720 --> 00:26:49.299
 ballroom

00:26:49.299 --> 00:26:49.799
 dancing

00:26:49.799 --> 00:26:50.240
 picture,

00:26:50.839 --> 00:26:51.779
 because when

00:26:51.779 --> 00:26:52.279
 the husband

00:26:52.279 --> 00:26:53.099
 leads well,

00:26:54.559 --> 00:26:55.159
 the evidence

00:26:55.159 --> 00:26:55.639
 of that

00:26:55.639 --> 00:26:58.259
 is the

00:26:58.259 --> 00:26:58.699
 wife,

00:26:59.619 --> 00:26:59.919
 or the

00:26:59.919 --> 00:27:00.159
 woman,

00:27:00.299 --> 00:27:00.740
 in ballroom

00:27:00.740 --> 00:27:01.099
 dancing

00:27:01.099 --> 00:27:02.519
 shines.

00:27:03.679 --> 00:27:04.299
 She's the

00:27:04.299 --> 00:27:04.699
 one doing

00:27:04.699 --> 00:27:05.439
 the twirls

00:27:05.440 --> 00:27:05.799
 and the

00:27:05.799 --> 00:27:07.200
 I don't

00:27:07.200 --> 00:27:07.340
 know,

00:27:07.340 --> 00:27:07.600
 I don't

00:27:07.600 --> 00:27:07.759
 know,

00:27:07.820 --> 00:27:08.120
 ballroom

00:27:08.120 --> 00:27:08.460
 dancing

00:27:08.460 --> 00:27:08.759
 enough.

00:27:10.759 --> 00:27:11.580
 When he

00:27:11.580 --> 00:27:12.100
 takes the

00:27:12.100 --> 00:27:12.500
 primary

00:27:12.500 --> 00:27:13.299
 responsibility,

00:27:15.160 --> 00:27:16.580
 she has

00:27:16.580 --> 00:27:17.180
 the resources

00:27:17.180 --> 00:27:17.900
 to shine.

00:27:21.820 --> 00:27:22.559
 That's why

00:27:22.559 --> 00:27:23.120
 I've taken

00:27:23.120 --> 00:27:24.059
 the phrase

00:27:24.059 --> 00:27:25.259
 out of

00:27:25.259 --> 00:27:26.019
 1 Peter 3.

00:27:26.360 --> 00:27:26.940
 I think

00:27:26.940 --> 00:27:27.420
 the focus

00:27:27.420 --> 00:27:27.920
 here is

00:27:27.920 --> 00:27:28.340
 wives,

00:27:28.480 --> 00:27:28.799
 let your

00:27:28.799 --> 00:27:29.460
 beauty

00:27:29.460 --> 00:27:30.940
 be the

00:27:30.940 --> 00:27:31.299
 hidden

00:27:31.299 --> 00:27:31.900
 person

00:27:31.900 --> 00:27:32.300
 of the

00:27:32.300 --> 00:27:32.800
 heart.

00:27:35.800 --> 00:27:36.360
 The

00:27:36.360 --> 00:27:36.980
 core for

00:27:36.980 --> 00:27:37.759
 wives is

00:27:37.759 --> 00:27:37.960
 to

00:27:37.960 --> 00:27:38.820
 unconditional

00:27:38.820 --> 00:27:39.920
 respect,

00:27:40.580 --> 00:27:41.900
 rather than

00:27:41.900 --> 00:27:42.840
 clinging to

00:27:42.840 --> 00:27:43.380
 control.

00:27:46.840 --> 00:27:47.840
 A part

00:27:47.840 --> 00:27:48.180
 of you

00:27:48.180 --> 00:27:49.060
 may want

00:27:49.060 --> 00:27:50.280
 that strong

00:27:50.280 --> 00:27:51.040
 involvement

00:27:51.040 --> 00:27:52.000
 and care

00:27:52.000 --> 00:27:53.640
 of your

00:27:53.640 --> 00:27:53.960
 husband,

00:27:54.140 --> 00:27:54.900
 stepping up

00:27:54.900 --> 00:27:55.060
 to

00:27:55.060 --> 00:27:55.640
 responsibility.

00:27:56.640 --> 00:27:57.160
 You may

00:27:57.160 --> 00:27:57.660
 say you

00:27:57.660 --> 00:27:58.000
 want your

00:27:58.000 --> 00:27:58.980
 husband to

00:27:58.980 --> 00:28:00.240
 step up

00:28:00.240 --> 00:28:00.839
 spiritually,

00:28:01.319 --> 00:28:02.019
 discipling

00:28:02.019 --> 00:28:02.599
 kids,

00:28:03.200 --> 00:28:03.660
 reading the

00:28:03.660 --> 00:28:04.000
 Bible,

00:28:04.980 --> 00:28:05.980
 initiating and

00:28:05.980 --> 00:28:06.500
 leading in

00:28:06.500 --> 00:28:06.839
 prayer,

00:28:07.019 --> 00:28:07.579
 commitment to

00:28:07.579 --> 00:28:08.019
 church.

00:28:09.460 --> 00:28:09.920
 Here's the

00:28:09.920 --> 00:28:10.120
 question,

00:28:10.259 --> 00:28:10.779
 how much

00:28:10.779 --> 00:28:11.180
 is it on

00:28:11.180 --> 00:28:11.559
 your own

00:28:11.559 --> 00:28:12.059
 terms?

00:28:16.279 --> 00:28:17.140
 How much

00:28:17.140 --> 00:28:17.500
 do you

00:28:17.500 --> 00:28:18.440
 criticise his

00:28:18.440 --> 00:28:19.880
 attempts because

00:28:19.880 --> 00:28:20.620
 it's not how

00:28:20.620 --> 00:28:21.299
 you would do

00:28:21.299 --> 00:28:21.559
 it?

00:28:25.200 --> 00:28:26.019
 Even when

00:28:26.019 --> 00:28:26.660
 his dance

00:28:26.660 --> 00:28:27.339
 steps are

00:28:27.339 --> 00:28:28.400
 pretty ordinary,

00:28:28.980 --> 00:28:30.200
 if they're

00:28:30.200 --> 00:28:30.599
 headed in

00:28:30.599 --> 00:28:30.900
 the right

00:28:30.900 --> 00:28:31.360
 direction,

00:28:31.480 --> 00:28:31.880
 how much

00:28:31.880 --> 00:28:32.259
 do you

00:28:32.259 --> 00:28:32.860
 resist?

00:28:36.460 --> 00:28:37.019
 Because it's

00:28:37.019 --> 00:28:37.539
 not the way

00:28:37.539 --> 00:28:38.519
 you want

00:28:38.519 --> 00:28:38.720
 it.

00:28:41.120 --> 00:28:41.819
 It's still

00:28:41.819 --> 00:28:42.420
 about laying

00:28:42.420 --> 00:28:43.120
 down control.

00:28:43.319 --> 00:28:43.599
 It's the

00:28:43.599 --> 00:28:44.180
 same thing.

00:28:44.620 --> 00:28:45.120
 Men, we've

00:28:45.120 --> 00:28:45.680
 got to lay

00:28:45.680 --> 00:28:46.120
 down our

00:28:46.120 --> 00:28:46.940
 control and

00:28:46.940 --> 00:28:48.079
 be a slave

00:28:48.079 --> 00:28:48.839
 in service.

00:28:49.299 --> 00:28:49.720
 But women,

00:28:50.559 --> 00:28:51.339
 you're called

00:28:51.339 --> 00:28:51.839
 to the same

00:28:51.839 --> 00:28:52.140
 thing.

00:28:52.299 --> 00:28:52.759
 Lay down

00:28:52.759 --> 00:28:53.460
 your control.

00:28:56.579 --> 00:28:57.059
 Unconditional

00:28:57.059 --> 00:28:57.500
 love.

00:28:58.299 --> 00:28:58.940
 Verse 22,

00:28:59.140 --> 00:28:59.700
 wives.

00:29:01.779 --> 00:29:02.319
 Let's

00:29:02.319 --> 00:29:02.920
 pause there.

00:29:04.360 --> 00:29:05.319
 The Lord is

00:29:05.319 --> 00:29:06.120
 speaking directly

00:29:06.120 --> 00:29:06.759
 to you.

00:29:08.240 --> 00:29:08.960
 He's not

00:29:08.960 --> 00:29:09.700
 talking to you

00:29:09.700 --> 00:29:10.299
 via your

00:29:10.299 --> 00:29:10.740
 husband.

00:29:11.180 --> 00:29:11.759
 And husbands,

00:29:12.039 --> 00:29:13.299
 we should in a

00:29:13.299 --> 00:29:14.019
 sense have one

00:29:14.019 --> 00:29:15.059
 ear closed at

00:29:15.059 --> 00:29:15.539
 this point.

00:29:16.839 --> 00:29:17.360
 We're never

00:29:17.360 --> 00:29:18.140
 told, make

00:29:18.140 --> 00:29:18.839
 sure your wife

00:29:18.839 --> 00:29:19.339
 submits.

00:29:19.860 --> 00:29:20.079
 No.

00:29:20.779 --> 00:29:21.440
 The Lord is

00:29:21.440 --> 00:29:24.339
 talking to you

00:29:24.339 --> 00:29:24.920
 directly.

00:29:25.319 --> 00:29:26.380
 You have full

00:29:26.380 --> 00:29:28.820
 agency to

00:29:28.820 --> 00:29:29.600
 voluntarily

00:29:29.600 --> 00:29:30.600
 choose this

00:29:30.600 --> 00:29:31.520
 because he

00:29:31.520 --> 00:29:32.280
 is trustworthy.

00:29:33.720 --> 00:29:34.500
 You want

00:29:34.500 --> 00:29:34.940
 to please

00:29:34.940 --> 00:29:35.480
 him.

00:29:38.640 --> 00:29:39.260
 It's

00:29:39.260 --> 00:29:40.020
 submitting to

00:29:40.020 --> 00:29:40.500
 your husbands

00:29:40.500 --> 00:29:41.460
 as to the

00:29:41.460 --> 00:29:41.860
 Lord.

00:29:41.980 --> 00:29:42.500
 Your eyes

00:29:42.500 --> 00:29:43.020
 are on

00:29:43.020 --> 00:29:44.800
 him, the

00:29:44.800 --> 00:29:45.140
 Lord.

00:29:45.720 --> 00:29:46.100
 It's

00:29:46.100 --> 00:29:46.760
 verse 21,

00:29:46.760 --> 00:29:47.840
 submitting out

00:29:47.839 --> 00:29:50.220
 reverence for

00:29:50.220 --> 00:29:50.879
 Christ.

00:29:52.879 --> 00:29:54.139
 You see

00:29:54.139 --> 00:29:55.319
 Jesus going

00:29:55.319 --> 00:29:55.659
 to the

00:29:55.659 --> 00:29:56.119
 cross,

00:29:57.559 --> 00:29:58.119
 submitting

00:29:58.119 --> 00:29:59.959
 himself to

00:29:59.959 --> 00:30:00.639
 the cross.

00:30:00.899 --> 00:30:01.539
 It is at the

00:30:01.539 --> 00:30:02.199
 heart of the

00:30:02.199 --> 00:30:02.539
 gospel.

00:30:02.699 --> 00:30:02.980
 It is

00:30:02.980 --> 00:30:04.000
 praiseworthy.

00:30:04.000 --> 00:30:05.119
 You trust

00:30:05.119 --> 00:30:05.539
 him for

00:30:05.539 --> 00:30:05.839
 that.

00:30:07.480 --> 00:30:08.619
 You respect

00:30:08.619 --> 00:30:09.079
 him.

00:30:09.200 --> 00:30:09.940
 You revere

00:30:09.940 --> 00:30:10.299
 him.

00:30:11.339 --> 00:30:12.000
 You trust

00:30:12.000 --> 00:30:12.599
 him to take

00:30:12.599 --> 00:30:13.240
 care of

00:30:13.240 --> 00:30:13.599
 your body

00:30:13.599 --> 00:30:14.119
 and soul.

00:30:14.240 --> 00:30:14.819
 That's the

00:30:14.819 --> 00:30:15.380
 motivation

00:30:15.380 --> 00:30:15.779
 here.

00:30:18.140 --> 00:30:18.880
 Now the

00:30:18.880 --> 00:30:19.539
 authority

00:30:19.539 --> 00:30:20.839
 over you

00:30:20.839 --> 00:30:21.460
 is very

00:30:21.460 --> 00:30:21.880
 limited.

00:30:22.099 --> 00:30:22.619
 It is not

00:30:22.619 --> 00:30:23.460
 any man.

00:30:24.880 --> 00:30:25.619
 It's their

00:30:25.619 --> 00:30:26.420
 own husband.

00:30:27.900 --> 00:30:28.599
 But the

00:30:28.599 --> 00:30:29.380
 aspects of

00:30:29.380 --> 00:30:30.099
 marriage, the

00:30:30.099 --> 00:30:30.799
 law calls for

00:30:30.799 --> 00:30:31.740
 submission, is

00:30:31.740 --> 00:30:32.539
 very broad.

00:30:34.000 --> 00:30:34.960
 Verse 24,

00:30:35.099 --> 00:30:36.059
 in everything,

00:30:39.180 --> 00:30:41.299
 there's to

00:30:41.299 --> 00:30:41.680
 be no

00:30:41.680 --> 00:30:42.099
 power

00:30:42.099 --> 00:30:42.539
 struggle.

00:30:44.900 --> 00:30:45.420
 You're

00:30:45.420 --> 00:30:45.759
 meant to be

00:30:45.759 --> 00:30:46.180
 looking at

00:30:46.180 --> 00:30:46.880
 the church.

00:30:47.759 --> 00:30:48.500
 As the

00:30:48.500 --> 00:30:49.099
 church, we

00:30:49.099 --> 00:30:49.680
 aren't to

00:30:49.680 --> 00:30:50.359
 try and go

00:30:50.359 --> 00:30:50.859
 it on our

00:30:50.859 --> 00:30:51.599
 own and be

00:30:51.599 --> 00:30:52.160
 independent.

00:30:53.180 --> 00:30:54.200
 We welcome

00:30:54.200 --> 00:30:54.920
 Christ's

00:30:54.920 --> 00:30:56.119
 provision, or

00:30:56.119 --> 00:30:56.579
 meant to

00:30:56.579 --> 00:30:56.900
 anyway.

00:30:57.339 --> 00:30:57.880
 We're meant

00:30:57.880 --> 00:30:58.519
 to welcome

00:30:58.519 --> 00:30:59.200
 his provision

00:30:59.200 --> 00:30:59.660
 and his

00:30:59.660 --> 00:31:00.220
 care for

00:31:00.220 --> 00:31:01.299
 us in

00:31:01.299 --> 00:31:02.220
 every aspect

00:31:02.220 --> 00:31:02.619
 of our

00:31:02.619 --> 00:31:03.019
 life.

00:31:03.019 --> 00:31:04.059
 even when

00:31:04.059 --> 00:31:04.460
 it cuts

00:31:04.460 --> 00:31:04.980
 across our

00:31:04.980 --> 00:31:05.259
 will.

00:31:05.819 --> 00:31:06.079
 We're

00:31:06.079 --> 00:31:06.319
 meant to

00:31:06.319 --> 00:31:07.879
 invite and

00:31:07.879 --> 00:31:08.700
 rely on

00:31:08.700 --> 00:31:09.200
 Christ.

00:31:10.480 --> 00:31:11.359
 The church

00:31:11.359 --> 00:31:12.000
 is to think

00:31:12.000 --> 00:31:12.639
 of itself as

00:31:12.639 --> 00:31:13.180
 one body

00:31:13.180 --> 00:31:13.819
 with Christ.

00:31:14.940 --> 00:31:15.660
 We're not

00:31:15.660 --> 00:31:16.500
 just servants,

00:31:16.660 --> 00:31:17.059
 we're in this

00:31:17.059 --> 00:31:17.559
 profound

00:31:17.559 --> 00:31:18.319
 partnership.

00:31:18.779 --> 00:31:19.619
 Our goals

00:31:19.619 --> 00:31:20.400
 are aligned

00:31:20.400 --> 00:31:20.879
 with his

00:31:20.879 --> 00:31:21.619
 goals in

00:31:21.619 --> 00:31:22.299
 his mission.

00:31:24.079 --> 00:31:24.900
 So that's

00:31:24.900 --> 00:31:25.319
 the model

00:31:25.319 --> 00:31:25.900
 for wives

00:31:25.900 --> 00:31:26.359
 to follow.

00:31:26.359 --> 00:31:26.500
 So

00:31:26.500 --> 00:31:33.640
 Godly

00:31:33.640 --> 00:31:34.359
 leadership

00:31:34.359 --> 00:31:37.000
 carrying the

00:31:37.000 --> 00:31:37.599
 burden of

00:31:37.599 --> 00:31:37.940
 primary

00:31:37.940 --> 00:31:38.720
 responsibility,

00:31:38.960 --> 00:31:39.359
 there's a

00:31:39.359 --> 00:31:40.019
 freedom to

00:31:40.019 --> 00:31:40.660
 be enjoyed

00:31:40.660 --> 00:31:41.839
 within that.

00:31:43.539 --> 00:31:44.279
 There's an

00:31:44.279 --> 00:31:44.839
 enabling,

00:31:45.839 --> 00:31:47.019
 bring all

00:31:47.019 --> 00:31:47.579
 your gifts

00:31:47.579 --> 00:31:48.180
 to help the

00:31:48.180 --> 00:31:48.460
 marriage

00:31:48.460 --> 00:31:49.059
 flourish.

00:31:49.059 --> 00:31:52.319
 So trusting

00:31:52.319 --> 00:31:53.960
 Christ for

00:31:53.960 --> 00:31:54.599
 his sake,

00:31:54.740 --> 00:31:55.519
 submission in

00:31:55.519 --> 00:31:56.319
 a sense,

00:31:57.700 --> 00:31:58.220
 I think is

00:31:58.220 --> 00:31:58.960
 about getting

00:31:58.960 --> 00:31:59.460
 out of the

00:31:59.460 --> 00:31:59.740
 way.

00:32:01.639 --> 00:32:03.039
 It's letting

00:32:03.039 --> 00:32:03.559
 your husband

00:32:03.559 --> 00:32:04.419
 care for you,

00:32:05.119 --> 00:32:06.119
 not needing

00:32:06.119 --> 00:32:06.619
 to be in

00:32:06.619 --> 00:32:07.000
 control,

00:32:08.059 --> 00:32:09.299
 not squashing

00:32:09.299 --> 00:32:10.079
 his attempts.

00:32:10.079 --> 00:32:15.159
 this is

00:32:15.159 --> 00:32:15.960
 about attitude.

00:32:16.839 --> 00:32:17.399
 It's about

00:32:17.399 --> 00:32:18.059
 the posture

00:32:18.059 --> 00:32:18.599
 of the

00:32:18.599 --> 00:32:19.039
 heart.

00:32:20.679 --> 00:32:21.279
 It's not

00:32:21.279 --> 00:32:22.619
 necessarily,

00:32:23.539 --> 00:32:24.220
 I think we

00:32:24.220 --> 00:32:25.039
 imagine that

00:32:25.039 --> 00:32:26.859
 husband and

00:32:26.859 --> 00:32:27.480
 wife talking

00:32:27.480 --> 00:32:28.419
 and immediately

00:32:28.419 --> 00:32:29.259
 the wife just

00:32:29.259 --> 00:32:29.699
 has to be

00:32:29.699 --> 00:32:30.419
 silent in

00:32:30.419 --> 00:32:30.740
 everything.

00:32:31.099 --> 00:32:31.359
 I don't

00:32:31.359 --> 00:32:31.779
 know why

00:32:31.779 --> 00:32:32.519
 we, I

00:32:32.519 --> 00:32:32.699
 don't know

00:32:32.699 --> 00:32:32.939
 if your

00:32:32.939 --> 00:32:33.500
 mind goes

00:32:33.500 --> 00:32:34.519
 there, I

00:32:34.519 --> 00:32:34.799
 don't know

00:32:34.799 --> 00:32:35.139
 why we

00:32:35.139 --> 00:32:35.460
 imagine

00:32:35.460 --> 00:32:35.720
 that.

00:32:36.799 --> 00:32:37.500
 It's about

00:32:37.500 --> 00:32:38.039
 the attitude

00:32:38.039 --> 00:32:38.399
 of the

00:32:38.399 --> 00:32:38.779
 heart.

00:32:40.079 --> 00:32:41.740
 It's not

00:32:41.740 --> 00:32:42.240
 about saying

00:32:42.240 --> 00:32:42.699
 you're playing

00:32:42.699 --> 00:32:43.220
 a less

00:32:43.220 --> 00:32:44.099
 important role.

00:32:44.439 --> 00:32:44.740
 Remember

00:32:44.740 --> 00:32:45.439
 Genesis 2,

00:32:45.579 --> 00:32:46.759
 helper is

00:32:46.759 --> 00:32:47.819
 about supplying

00:32:47.819 --> 00:32:48.679
 the power

00:32:48.679 --> 00:32:49.519
 that is

00:32:49.519 --> 00:32:49.960
 lacking.

00:32:51.299 --> 00:32:51.879
 It's

00:32:51.879 --> 00:32:52.720
 bringing all

00:32:52.720 --> 00:32:53.639
 your strengths

00:32:53.639 --> 00:32:54.819
 to the

00:32:54.819 --> 00:32:55.259
 partnership.

00:32:59.359 --> 00:32:59.639
 So

00:32:59.639 --> 00:33:01.059
 inviting your

00:33:01.059 --> 00:33:01.619
 husband's

00:33:01.619 --> 00:33:02.019
 care,

00:33:02.279 --> 00:33:02.579
 godly

00:33:02.579 --> 00:33:03.059
 leadership,

00:33:03.819 --> 00:33:04.480
 as imperfect

00:33:04.480 --> 00:33:05.319
 as it is,

00:33:06.259 --> 00:33:06.699
 when it's

00:33:06.699 --> 00:33:07.419
 done right,

00:33:08.759 --> 00:33:09.379
 people don't

00:33:09.380 --> 00:33:10.160
 see a power

00:33:10.160 --> 00:33:10.620
 struggle,

00:33:11.820 --> 00:33:12.700
 they see a

00:33:12.700 --> 00:33:13.240
 united,

00:33:13.680 --> 00:33:14.060
 beautiful

00:33:14.060 --> 00:33:14.760
 dance.

00:33:16.460 --> 00:33:17.160
 They

00:33:17.160 --> 00:33:19.120
 encounter a

00:33:19.120 --> 00:33:19.860
 stable,

00:33:20.860 --> 00:33:22.000
 warm home.

00:33:23.420 --> 00:33:25.440
 They see a

00:33:25.440 --> 00:33:26.780
 friendship at

00:33:26.780 --> 00:33:27.220
 the heart of

00:33:27.220 --> 00:33:27.600
 the marriage.

00:33:27.720 --> 00:33:28.360
 You're enjoying

00:33:28.360 --> 00:33:29.340
 god together.

00:33:30.820 --> 00:33:32.340
 They witness

00:33:32.340 --> 00:33:33.720
 something that

00:33:33.720 --> 00:33:35.720
 benefits the

00:33:35.720 --> 00:33:36.640
 children in what

00:33:36.640 --> 00:33:37.340
 they see.

00:33:38.880 --> 00:33:39.680
 Such a

00:33:39.680 --> 00:33:40.140
 partnership

00:33:40.140 --> 00:33:41.540
 overflows beyond

00:33:41.540 --> 00:33:42.520
 the relationship

00:33:42.520 --> 00:33:43.580
 and blesses the

00:33:43.580 --> 00:33:44.240
 church and

00:33:44.240 --> 00:33:45.280
 blesses society

00:33:45.280 --> 00:33:47.300
 because you're

00:33:47.300 --> 00:33:47.960
 trying to serve

00:33:47.960 --> 00:33:48.840
 Christ together

00:33:48.840 --> 00:33:50.040
 in everything.

00:33:50.039 --> 00:33:57.839
 So invite your

00:33:57.839 --> 00:33:59.200
 husband's care and

00:33:59.200 --> 00:34:00.059
 bring all your

00:34:00.059 --> 00:34:01.359
 gifts to this

00:34:01.359 --> 00:34:01.859
 partnership.

00:34:06.980 --> 00:34:07.740
 Now I'm

00:34:07.740 --> 00:34:08.699
 guessing the

00:34:08.699 --> 00:34:09.599
 fear is,

00:34:10.320 --> 00:34:10.840
 what if the

00:34:10.840 --> 00:34:11.920
 husband misuses

00:34:11.920 --> 00:34:12.719
 his authority?

00:34:15.199 --> 00:34:16.480
 What if they

00:34:16.480 --> 00:34:17.340
 aren't just in

00:34:17.340 --> 00:34:18.039
 control but

00:34:18.039 --> 00:34:18.259
 they're

00:34:18.259 --> 00:34:23.000
 controlling or

00:34:23.000 --> 00:34:23.960
 putting pressure

00:34:23.960 --> 00:34:24.519
 on your

00:34:24.519 --> 00:34:25.259
 conscience?

00:34:26.699 --> 00:34:27.659
 Could be

00:34:27.659 --> 00:34:28.239
 financially,

00:34:29.239 --> 00:34:30.739
 could be

00:34:30.739 --> 00:34:31.259
 intimately,

00:34:32.480 --> 00:34:32.960
 could be

00:34:32.960 --> 00:34:33.619
 theologically.

00:34:35.800 --> 00:34:36.719
 What does

00:34:36.719 --> 00:34:37.400
 submission mean

00:34:37.400 --> 00:34:37.639
 then?

00:34:38.159 --> 00:34:39.880
 Well, you're

00:34:39.880 --> 00:34:40.800
 always doing it

00:34:40.800 --> 00:34:41.739
 for Christ's

00:34:41.739 --> 00:34:41.980
 sake.

00:34:42.219 --> 00:34:42.960
 Allegiance is

00:34:42.960 --> 00:34:43.739
 always to

00:34:43.739 --> 00:34:44.000
 him.

00:34:44.000 --> 00:34:46.239
 You are

00:34:46.239 --> 00:34:47.099
 never, ever

00:34:47.099 --> 00:34:47.760
 asked to

00:34:47.760 --> 00:34:48.159
 follow your

00:34:48.159 --> 00:34:48.760
 husband into

00:34:48.760 --> 00:34:49.099
 sin.

00:34:50.800 --> 00:34:51.619
 It is not

00:34:51.619 --> 00:34:52.199
 loving for

00:34:52.199 --> 00:34:52.679
 your husband

00:34:52.679 --> 00:34:54.380
 to not

00:34:54.380 --> 00:34:55.019
 call out

00:34:55.019 --> 00:34:55.559
 his sin.

00:34:58.239 --> 00:34:58.719
 Both

00:34:58.719 --> 00:34:59.400
 husbands and

00:34:59.400 --> 00:35:00.079
 wives will

00:35:00.079 --> 00:35:00.820
 at times have

00:35:00.820 --> 00:35:01.360
 to exercise

00:35:01.360 --> 00:35:02.159
 strong

00:35:02.159 --> 00:35:03.079
 confrontational

00:35:03.079 --> 00:35:03.480
 love.

00:35:06.679 --> 00:35:07.320
 But I think

00:35:07.320 --> 00:35:07.760
 we can say

00:35:07.760 --> 00:35:08.159
 more than

00:35:08.159 --> 00:35:08.579
 this, and

00:35:08.579 --> 00:35:08.840
 this is

00:35:08.840 --> 00:35:09.099
 where I

00:35:09.099 --> 00:35:09.320
 want to

00:35:09.320 --> 00:35:09.780
 flip over

00:35:09.780 --> 00:35:10.119
 to 1

00:35:10.119 --> 00:35:10.699
 Peter 3.

00:35:10.699 --> 00:35:13.379
 1 Peter 3

00:35:13.379 --> 00:35:14.299
 is a high

00:35:14.299 --> 00:35:14.899
 calling.

00:35:16.379 --> 00:35:17.759
 It's the

00:35:17.759 --> 00:35:18.419
 context of

00:35:18.419 --> 00:35:18.919
 the, if you

00:35:18.919 --> 00:35:19.299
 want to turn

00:35:19.299 --> 00:35:20.000
 to 1 Peter 3

00:35:20.000 --> 00:35:21.019
 with me, the

00:35:21.019 --> 00:35:21.859
 context of the

00:35:21.859 --> 00:35:23.919
 letter is all

00:35:23.919 --> 00:35:24.559
 about, the

00:35:24.559 --> 00:35:25.299
 Christian life is

00:35:25.299 --> 00:35:26.039
 one of hope.

00:35:26.399 --> 00:35:26.779
 You know

00:35:26.779 --> 00:35:27.379
 heaven is

00:35:27.379 --> 00:35:28.659
 coming, salvation

00:35:28.659 --> 00:35:30.679
 is yours, and

00:35:30.679 --> 00:35:31.219
 you have this

00:35:31.219 --> 00:35:33.399
 inexpressible joy

00:35:33.399 --> 00:35:34.299
 in your heart.

00:35:34.439 --> 00:35:34.899
 The Christian

00:35:34.899 --> 00:35:35.579
 life is one of

00:35:35.579 --> 00:35:36.519
 hope and joy,

00:35:36.779 --> 00:35:38.819
 but we are

00:35:38.819 --> 00:35:39.779
 exiles in this

00:35:39.779 --> 00:35:40.079
 life.

00:35:40.079 --> 00:35:40.500
 It is

00:35:40.500 --> 00:35:42.420
 sometimes in

00:35:42.420 --> 00:35:43.679
 very difficult

00:35:43.679 --> 00:35:44.579
 circumstances,

00:35:45.179 --> 00:35:45.619
 where the

00:35:45.619 --> 00:35:48.239
 goal is that

00:35:48.239 --> 00:35:48.920
 your conduct

00:35:48.920 --> 00:35:50.000
 brings glory

00:35:50.000 --> 00:35:51.039
 to God, and

00:35:51.039 --> 00:35:53.380
 that's true for

00:35:53.380 --> 00:35:53.920
 wives and

00:35:53.920 --> 00:35:54.239
 husbands.

00:35:54.440 --> 00:35:54.799
 Here in

00:35:54.799 --> 00:35:56.039
 chapter 3, it's

00:35:56.039 --> 00:35:56.460
 talking to

00:35:56.460 --> 00:35:57.400
 wives, especially

00:35:57.400 --> 00:35:58.739
 married to

00:35:58.739 --> 00:35:59.500
 unbelieving

00:35:59.500 --> 00:36:01.539
 husbands, a

00:36:01.539 --> 00:36:02.639
 really tricky

00:36:02.639 --> 00:36:03.299
 circumstance.

00:36:05.259 --> 00:36:06.579
 You can't

00:36:06.579 --> 00:36:08.440
 respect his

00:36:08.440 --> 00:36:09.559
 spiritual rebellion.

00:36:10.079 --> 00:36:12.079
 God's

00:36:12.079 --> 00:36:12.500
 love to

00:36:12.500 --> 00:36:12.739
 God's

00:36:12.739 --> 00:36:13.619
 love to

00:36:13.619 --> 00:36:13.739
 God's

00:36:13.739 --> 00:36:14.420
 love to

00:36:14.420 --> 00:36:15.079
 you.

00:36:15.079 --> 00:36:14.179
 He may be

00:36:14.179 --> 00:36:14.779
 harsh.

00:36:15.179 --> 00:36:15.579
 He doesn't

00:36:15.579 --> 00:36:15.920
 have the

00:36:15.920 --> 00:36:17.259
 cross as his

00:36:17.259 --> 00:36:18.000
 template for

00:36:18.000 --> 00:36:18.679
 how to relate

00:36:18.679 --> 00:36:19.119
 to you.

00:36:23.380 --> 00:36:23.819
 Let's

00:36:23.819 --> 00:36:24.719
 firstly say what

00:36:24.719 --> 00:36:25.699
 submission doesn't

00:36:25.699 --> 00:36:26.380
 mean from this

00:36:26.380 --> 00:36:26.759
 passage.

00:36:26.900 --> 00:36:27.259
 There's a few

00:36:27.259 --> 00:36:27.880
 things it can't

00:36:27.880 --> 00:36:28.079
 mean.

00:36:28.279 --> 00:36:28.960
 It can't mean

00:36:28.960 --> 00:36:29.840
 putting your

00:36:29.840 --> 00:36:30.799
 husband in the

00:36:30.799 --> 00:36:31.559
 place of Christ.

00:36:31.699 --> 00:36:32.179
 Your allegiance

00:36:32.179 --> 00:36:33.159
 has to be for

00:36:33.159 --> 00:36:33.599
 Christ.

00:36:34.019 --> 00:36:34.500
 That's the whole

00:36:34.500 --> 00:36:35.199
 context here.

00:36:35.199 --> 00:36:35.299
 reason.

00:36:35.980 --> 00:36:36.619
 It can't be

00:36:36.619 --> 00:36:37.119
 giving up

00:36:37.119 --> 00:36:37.659
 independent

00:36:37.659 --> 00:36:38.219
 thought.

00:36:38.879 --> 00:36:39.239
 Because you

00:36:39.239 --> 00:36:39.659
 believe in

00:36:39.659 --> 00:36:40.219
 Jesus, you're

00:36:40.219 --> 00:36:40.559
 not letting

00:36:40.559 --> 00:36:41.179
 go of that.

00:36:42.579 --> 00:36:43.219
 The most

00:36:43.219 --> 00:36:44.480
 important thought,

00:36:44.759 --> 00:36:46.779
 it's not based

00:36:46.779 --> 00:36:47.319
 on your husband,

00:36:48.059 --> 00:36:48.500
 you're not going

00:36:48.500 --> 00:36:48.980
 to let go of

00:36:48.980 --> 00:36:49.079
 that.

00:36:49.239 --> 00:36:50.039
 It's not giving

00:36:50.039 --> 00:36:51.019
 up your desire

00:36:51.019 --> 00:36:51.799
 to influence

00:36:51.799 --> 00:36:52.019
 him.

00:36:52.099 --> 00:36:52.939
 The very goal

00:36:52.939 --> 00:36:53.619
 of this passage

00:36:53.619 --> 00:36:54.399
 is that they

00:36:54.399 --> 00:36:55.279
 may be won

00:36:55.279 --> 00:36:56.219
 to Christ.

00:36:56.539 --> 00:36:57.299
 You're trying

00:36:57.299 --> 00:36:58.079
 to win him

00:36:58.079 --> 00:36:58.779
 to Christ.

00:36:58.780 --> 00:37:03.700
 It's not

00:37:03.700 --> 00:37:04.540
 giving in to

00:37:04.540 --> 00:37:05.440
 every demand

00:37:05.440 --> 00:37:06.700
 because you're

00:37:06.700 --> 00:37:07.180
 trying to win

00:37:07.180 --> 00:37:07.760
 him with your

00:37:07.760 --> 00:37:08.920
 pure conduct.

00:37:11.840 --> 00:37:13.060
 Jesus decides

00:37:13.060 --> 00:37:14.019
 what is pure

00:37:14.019 --> 00:37:14.380
 conduct.

00:37:15.240 --> 00:37:15.720
 And it's not

00:37:15.720 --> 00:37:16.460
 being a doormat

00:37:16.460 --> 00:37:18.500
 because in

00:37:18.500 --> 00:37:19.100
 verse 6,

00:37:19.840 --> 00:37:20.980
 do not fear

00:37:20.980 --> 00:37:21.700
 anything that is

00:37:21.700 --> 00:37:22.100
 frightening.

00:37:22.640 --> 00:37:23.000
 There is

00:37:23.000 --> 00:37:24.800
 something strong

00:37:24.800 --> 00:37:25.460
 about this.

00:37:26.580 --> 00:37:27.320
 You're not

00:37:27.320 --> 00:37:27.740
 afraid.

00:37:28.780 --> 00:37:32.200
 So how

00:37:32.200 --> 00:37:32.980
 do you win

00:37:32.980 --> 00:37:34.600
 an unbelieving

00:37:34.600 --> 00:37:35.019
 husband?

00:37:35.360 --> 00:37:36.200
 I think this

00:37:36.200 --> 00:37:36.980
 might apply to

00:37:36.980 --> 00:37:37.860
 a straying

00:37:37.860 --> 00:37:38.360
 husband.

00:37:38.780 --> 00:37:39.260
 A husband

00:37:39.260 --> 00:37:40.080
 who's just,

00:37:41.519 --> 00:37:42.640
 I don't

00:37:42.640 --> 00:37:43.260
 know, going

00:37:43.260 --> 00:37:44.120
 off the tracks

00:37:44.120 --> 00:37:44.760
 either in his

00:37:44.760 --> 00:37:45.560
 thoughts or in

00:37:45.560 --> 00:37:46.220
 his behaviour.

00:37:47.420 --> 00:37:48.920
 How do you

00:37:48.920 --> 00:37:49.700
 win him or

00:37:49.700 --> 00:37:50.380
 win him back

00:37:50.380 --> 00:37:51.080
 to Christ

00:37:51.080 --> 00:37:53.019
 when they see

00:37:53.019 --> 00:37:53.860
 your respectful

00:37:53.860 --> 00:37:54.519
 and pure

00:37:54.519 --> 00:37:54.960
 conduct?

00:37:57.460 --> 00:37:58.180
 There's an

00:37:58.179 --> 00:37:59.039
 emphasis here

00:37:59.039 --> 00:37:59.759
 on what's

00:37:59.759 --> 00:38:00.039
 on the

00:38:00.039 --> 00:38:00.739
 inside

00:38:00.739 --> 00:38:03.739
 rather than

00:38:03.739 --> 00:38:04.079
 what's on

00:38:04.079 --> 00:38:04.659
 the outside.

00:38:05.919 --> 00:38:06.559
 In verses

00:38:06.559 --> 00:38:07.279
 3 to 4,

00:38:08.059 --> 00:38:08.759
 let not

00:38:08.759 --> 00:38:09.779
 your adorning,

00:38:10.139 --> 00:38:10.559
 let not

00:38:10.559 --> 00:38:11.319
 your beauty

00:38:11.319 --> 00:38:13.299
 be external,

00:38:14.099 --> 00:38:15.219
 but let

00:38:15.219 --> 00:38:16.099
 your adorning,

00:38:16.219 --> 00:38:16.779
 your beauty,

00:38:16.879 --> 00:38:17.599
 be the hidden

00:38:17.599 --> 00:38:18.480
 person of the

00:38:18.480 --> 00:38:18.940
 heart.

00:38:19.759 --> 00:38:20.980
 That is

00:38:20.980 --> 00:38:22.779
 what has

00:38:22.779 --> 00:38:23.399
 the power

00:38:23.399 --> 00:38:24.379
 by God's

00:38:24.379 --> 00:38:25.199
 grace to win

00:38:25.199 --> 00:38:25.679
 him to

00:38:25.679 --> 00:38:26.159
 Christ.

00:38:27.460 --> 00:38:27.899
 Now, does

00:38:27.899 --> 00:38:28.419
 this mean,

00:38:28.779 --> 00:38:29.319
 ladies, you

00:38:29.319 --> 00:38:29.819
 have to wear

00:38:29.819 --> 00:38:30.339
 a potato

00:38:30.339 --> 00:38:33.179
 sack down

00:38:33.179 --> 00:38:33.539
 to your

00:38:33.539 --> 00:38:33.960
 ankles?

00:38:36.159 --> 00:38:36.759
 Does it

00:38:36.759 --> 00:38:37.039
 mean you

00:38:37.039 --> 00:38:37.619
 can't dress

00:38:37.619 --> 00:38:38.179
 nicely?

00:38:40.539 --> 00:38:41.339
 I don't

00:38:41.339 --> 00:38:41.879
 think that's

00:38:41.879 --> 00:38:42.619
 the point of

00:38:42.619 --> 00:38:43.299
 this passage

00:38:43.299 --> 00:38:46.539
 because you've

00:38:46.539 --> 00:38:46.980
 got to wear

00:38:46.980 --> 00:38:47.639
 clothes.

00:38:48.539 --> 00:38:49.179
 The point

00:38:49.179 --> 00:38:49.839
 is, what's

00:38:49.839 --> 00:38:50.639
 the motivation?

00:38:50.639 --> 00:38:53.019
 how are you

00:38:53.019 --> 00:38:53.599
 trying to

00:38:53.599 --> 00:38:54.099
 adorn

00:38:54.099 --> 00:38:54.619
 yourself?

00:38:55.299 --> 00:38:55.699
 Is there

00:38:55.699 --> 00:38:56.319
 an emptiness

00:38:56.319 --> 00:38:56.900
 in your

00:38:56.900 --> 00:38:57.379
 heart?

00:38:57.599 --> 00:38:58.199
 And perhaps

00:38:58.199 --> 00:38:58.859
 because your

00:38:58.859 --> 00:38:59.579
 husband is

00:38:59.579 --> 00:39:01.699
 as he is,

00:39:02.099 --> 00:39:02.900
 is there an

00:39:02.900 --> 00:39:03.559
 emptiness in

00:39:03.559 --> 00:39:04.119
 your heart

00:39:04.119 --> 00:39:04.960
 that you're

00:39:04.960 --> 00:39:05.519
 trying to

00:39:05.519 --> 00:39:05.940
 win

00:39:05.940 --> 00:39:08.139
 attention,

00:39:08.339 --> 00:39:08.799
 affection,

00:39:09.639 --> 00:39:10.239
 a sense of

00:39:10.239 --> 00:39:11.339
 worth by

00:39:11.339 --> 00:39:11.980
 external?

00:39:14.420 --> 00:39:15.099
 Or,

00:39:15.420 --> 00:39:16.519
 are you so

00:39:16.519 --> 00:39:17.339
 full on the

00:39:17.339 --> 00:39:18.199
 inside that

00:39:18.199 --> 00:39:20.879
 clothing you

00:39:20.879 --> 00:39:21.319
 like to

00:39:21.319 --> 00:39:23.579
 dress with

00:39:23.579 --> 00:39:24.119
 an outfit

00:39:24.119 --> 00:39:24.699
 that actually

00:39:24.699 --> 00:39:25.099
 matches?

00:39:25.439 --> 00:39:26.079
 That's okay,

00:39:26.159 --> 00:39:26.559
 it's a good

00:39:26.559 --> 00:39:26.899
 gift.

00:39:27.000 --> 00:39:27.179
 I don't

00:39:27.179 --> 00:39:27.460
 think it's

00:39:27.460 --> 00:39:29.779
 about wearing

00:39:29.779 --> 00:39:30.799
 a potato

00:39:30.799 --> 00:39:31.219
 sack.

00:39:32.539 --> 00:39:33.099
 It's about,

00:39:33.319 --> 00:39:33.859
 do you see

00:39:33.859 --> 00:39:34.199
 where your

00:39:34.199 --> 00:39:34.879
 true worth

00:39:34.879 --> 00:39:35.159
 is?

00:39:35.759 --> 00:39:36.139
 Do you

00:39:36.139 --> 00:39:36.480
 see where

00:39:36.480 --> 00:39:36.939
 your true

00:39:36.939 --> 00:39:38.259
 beauty is?

00:39:41.059 --> 00:39:42.199
 In God's

00:39:42.199 --> 00:39:43.819
 sight, a

00:39:43.819 --> 00:39:44.599
 gentle and

00:39:44.599 --> 00:39:45.739
 quiet spirit

00:39:45.739 --> 00:39:47.879
 is very

00:39:47.880 --> 00:39:48.700
 precious.

00:39:50.740 --> 00:39:51.519
 Think about

00:39:51.519 --> 00:39:52.119
 that wording.

00:39:53.039 --> 00:39:53.559
 God looks

00:39:53.559 --> 00:39:54.619
 at you and

00:39:54.619 --> 00:39:56.160
 he, if you

00:39:56.160 --> 00:39:57.200
 have this, and

00:39:57.200 --> 00:39:57.940
 to the degree

00:39:57.940 --> 00:39:58.740
 you have this,

00:39:59.700 --> 00:40:01.420
 that is very

00:40:01.420 --> 00:40:02.420
 precious to

00:40:02.420 --> 00:40:02.740
 me.

00:40:04.119 --> 00:40:05.019
 God thinks

00:40:05.019 --> 00:40:05.720
 that of you.

00:40:11.980 --> 00:40:13.039
 Now, what is a

00:40:13.039 --> 00:40:13.559
 gentle and

00:40:13.559 --> 00:40:14.360
 quiet spirit?

00:40:14.360 --> 00:40:15.360
 What is a

00:40:15.360 --> 00:40:15.480
 gentle and

00:40:15.480 --> 00:40:14.420
 quiet spirit?

00:40:14.420 --> 00:40:18.340
 I don't

00:40:18.340 --> 00:40:18.820
 think this is

00:40:18.820 --> 00:40:19.680
 about personality.

00:40:20.000 --> 00:40:20.680
 I think even

00:40:20.680 --> 00:40:21.659
 an introvert,

00:40:22.200 --> 00:40:23.180
 very timid

00:40:23.180 --> 00:40:25.220
 person can

00:40:25.220 --> 00:40:25.760
 be very

00:40:25.760 --> 00:40:27.340
 loud and

00:40:27.340 --> 00:40:28.480
 unsettled in

00:40:28.480 --> 00:40:29.099
 their heart,

00:40:29.240 --> 00:40:29.639
 trying to

00:40:29.639 --> 00:40:30.059
 manipulate

00:40:30.059 --> 00:40:31.380
 situations and

00:40:31.380 --> 00:40:32.280
 just reacting

00:40:32.280 --> 00:40:33.420
 fearful.

00:40:35.099 --> 00:40:35.599
 I don't

00:40:35.599 --> 00:40:35.840
 think it's

00:40:35.840 --> 00:40:36.639
 about personality.

00:40:36.639 --> 00:40:39.519
 if you're an

00:40:39.519 --> 00:40:40.119
 extrovert in

00:40:40.119 --> 00:40:40.500
 the room,

00:40:40.799 --> 00:40:41.279
 don't think,

00:40:41.400 --> 00:40:42.039
 oh, I've

00:40:42.039 --> 00:40:42.460
 got to

00:40:42.460 --> 00:40:44.199
 just close

00:40:44.199 --> 00:40:44.480
 your mouth.

00:40:46.019 --> 00:40:46.779
 It's talking

00:40:46.779 --> 00:40:47.119
 about the

00:40:47.119 --> 00:40:47.480
 heart.

00:40:47.619 --> 00:40:47.940
 It's talking

00:40:47.940 --> 00:40:48.259
 about the

00:40:48.259 --> 00:40:48.960
 inner person.

00:40:50.480 --> 00:40:51.279
 Your soul

00:40:51.279 --> 00:40:51.839
 is so

00:40:51.839 --> 00:40:52.420
 settled.

00:40:54.179 --> 00:40:55.079
 It's full.

00:40:57.440 --> 00:40:57.859
 And remember

00:40:57.859 --> 00:40:58.519
 the context.

00:40:59.099 --> 00:40:59.599
 Your husband

00:40:59.599 --> 00:41:00.960
 is straying,

00:41:01.079 --> 00:41:01.759
 unbeliever,

00:41:02.239 --> 00:41:03.019
 who knows

00:41:03.019 --> 00:41:04.440
 what harsh

00:41:04.440 --> 00:41:05.000
 things are

00:41:05.000 --> 00:41:05.539
 going on,

00:41:05.860 --> 00:41:06.240
 but your

00:41:06.240 --> 00:41:06.900
 soul is

00:41:06.900 --> 00:41:07.360
 settled

00:41:07.360 --> 00:41:09.780
 because you

00:41:09.780 --> 00:41:10.460
 know God

00:41:10.460 --> 00:41:11.200
 treasures you.

00:41:13.840 --> 00:41:14.920
 Your hope,

00:41:15.460 --> 00:41:17.300
 your hope

00:41:17.300 --> 00:41:18.400
 is in God.

00:41:18.720 --> 00:41:19.039
 You know

00:41:19.039 --> 00:41:19.460
 he's in

00:41:19.460 --> 00:41:20.000
 control.

00:41:24.400 --> 00:41:25.280
 Your hope

00:41:25.280 --> 00:41:25.760
 isn't in

00:41:25.760 --> 00:41:26.240
 your husband.

00:41:26.539 --> 00:41:26.980
 Your hope

00:41:26.980 --> 00:41:27.619
 isn't in

00:41:27.619 --> 00:41:28.059
 yourself.

00:41:28.260 --> 00:41:28.599
 Your hope

00:41:28.599 --> 00:41:29.220
 is in God.

00:41:30.360 --> 00:41:30.920
 You know

00:41:30.920 --> 00:41:31.579
 your inheritance

00:41:31.579 --> 00:41:32.139
 is coming

00:41:32.139 --> 00:41:32.539
 soon.

00:41:32.539 --> 00:41:33.019
 you know

00:41:33.019 --> 00:41:33.619
 the Father

00:41:33.619 --> 00:41:34.380
 treasures

00:41:34.380 --> 00:41:34.779
 you.

00:41:36.739 --> 00:41:37.019
 And so

00:41:37.019 --> 00:41:37.659
 your goal,

00:41:37.980 --> 00:41:38.559
 because you're

00:41:38.559 --> 00:41:39.679
 at peace

00:41:39.679 --> 00:41:40.519
 within yourself,

00:41:41.539 --> 00:41:43.039
 it's not

00:41:43.039 --> 00:41:43.500
 to try and

00:41:43.500 --> 00:41:44.559
 control the

00:41:44.559 --> 00:41:45.139
 situation.

00:41:45.500 --> 00:41:46.059
 Your goal

00:41:46.059 --> 00:41:47.519
 is to

00:41:47.519 --> 00:41:47.880
 try and

00:41:47.880 --> 00:41:48.900
 reflect Christ

00:41:48.900 --> 00:41:49.400
 to your

00:41:49.400 --> 00:41:49.739
 husband.

00:41:57.579 --> 00:41:58.239
 That

00:41:58.239 --> 00:41:59.039
 gentle and

00:41:59.039 --> 00:41:59.900
 quiet spirit

00:41:59.900 --> 00:42:00.599
 comes from

00:42:00.599 --> 00:42:02.300
 hope in

00:42:02.300 --> 00:42:02.720
 God.

00:42:05.079 --> 00:42:05.480
 Now,

00:42:05.700 --> 00:42:06.720
 it does

00:42:06.720 --> 00:42:07.440
 express

00:42:07.440 --> 00:42:09.880
 itself in

00:42:09.880 --> 00:42:11.000
 respect for

00:42:11.000 --> 00:42:11.780
 a husband who

00:42:11.780 --> 00:42:12.920
 is unrespectable.

00:42:15.280 --> 00:42:17.300
 That's how

00:42:17.300 --> 00:42:18.280
 powerful this

00:42:18.280 --> 00:42:19.280
 settled heart

00:42:19.280 --> 00:42:19.700
 is.

00:42:21.340 --> 00:42:22.119
 Sarah with

00:42:22.119 --> 00:42:23.720
 Abraham is

00:42:23.720 --> 00:42:24.519
 the example

00:42:24.519 --> 00:42:25.220
 given here to

00:42:25.220 --> 00:42:25.460
 follow.

00:42:25.940 --> 00:42:26.380
 There's only

00:42:26.380 --> 00:42:27.280
 one occurrence

00:42:27.280 --> 00:42:28.340
 with Sarah and

00:42:28.340 --> 00:42:28.980
 Abraham where

00:42:28.980 --> 00:42:29.680
 she calls him

00:42:29.680 --> 00:42:30.059
 Lord.

00:42:30.200 --> 00:42:30.460
 And that's

00:42:30.460 --> 00:42:30.720
 when the

00:42:30.720 --> 00:42:31.620
 angel comes

00:42:31.620 --> 00:42:33.039
 and says,

00:42:33.579 --> 00:42:33.760
 you're going

00:42:33.760 --> 00:42:34.039
 to have a

00:42:34.039 --> 00:42:34.660
 baby in

00:42:34.660 --> 00:42:35.019
 their old

00:42:35.019 --> 00:42:35.440
 age.

00:42:36.039 --> 00:42:36.559
 And Sarah

00:42:36.559 --> 00:42:37.360
 just laughs,

00:42:37.480 --> 00:42:38.480
 can my

00:42:38.480 --> 00:42:39.720
 Lord bet

00:42:39.720 --> 00:42:40.180
 you are

00:42:40.180 --> 00:42:40.600
 and he's

00:42:40.600 --> 00:42:41.180
 so old.

00:42:41.600 --> 00:42:42.039
 That's when

00:42:42.039 --> 00:42:42.400
 she says,

00:42:43.059 --> 00:42:43.660
 it's not,

00:42:44.480 --> 00:42:45.039
 it seems

00:42:45.039 --> 00:42:45.559
 to be,

00:42:46.320 --> 00:42:46.760
 that's just

00:42:46.760 --> 00:42:47.500
 the way Sarah

00:42:47.500 --> 00:42:48.480
 thought about

00:42:48.480 --> 00:42:48.880
 Abraham,

00:42:49.100 --> 00:42:49.640
 that it just

00:42:49.640 --> 00:42:51.019
 instinctually

00:42:51.019 --> 00:42:51.940
 came out.

00:42:53.200 --> 00:42:53.860
 It wasn't,

00:42:54.340 --> 00:42:54.800
 how do you

00:42:54.800 --> 00:42:55.260
 think about

00:42:55.260 --> 00:42:55.680
 Abraham?

00:42:55.679 --> 00:42:55.819
 Abraham,

00:42:55.980 --> 00:42:57.719
 she just

00:42:57.719 --> 00:42:58.219
 said it,

00:42:58.980 --> 00:42:59.359
 my Lord,

00:42:59.440 --> 00:43:00.099
 but there

00:43:00.099 --> 00:43:00.799
 was such

00:43:00.799 --> 00:43:01.679
 deep respect

00:43:01.679 --> 00:43:02.219
 there.

00:43:06.139 --> 00:43:06.879
 It's this

00:43:06.879 --> 00:43:07.539
 incredible

00:43:07.539 --> 00:43:08.779
 peace inside

00:43:08.779 --> 00:43:09.279
 of you that

00:43:09.279 --> 00:43:10.859
 you don't

00:43:10.859 --> 00:43:11.319
 need to be

00:43:11.319 --> 00:43:11.879
 in control

00:43:11.879 --> 00:43:16.579
 because your

00:43:16.579 --> 00:43:17.219
 hope is in

00:43:17.219 --> 00:43:17.579
 God,

00:43:17.719 --> 00:43:18.139
 you know

00:43:18.139 --> 00:43:18.819
 he treasures

00:43:18.819 --> 00:43:19.259
 you,

00:43:21.259 --> 00:43:21.919
 he sees

00:43:21.919 --> 00:43:22.440
 your beauty.

00:43:23.299 --> 00:43:24.000
 Now this

00:43:24.000 --> 00:43:25.000
 is so

00:43:25.000 --> 00:43:25.619
 unnatural.

00:43:27.019 --> 00:43:27.599
 Women who

00:43:27.599 --> 00:43:28.159
 don't know

00:43:28.159 --> 00:43:28.619
 God,

00:43:30.820 --> 00:43:32.039
 they don't

00:43:32.039 --> 00:43:32.380
 adorn

00:43:32.380 --> 00:43:33.079
 themselves like

00:43:33.079 --> 00:43:33.360
 this.

00:43:34.599 --> 00:43:35.400
 You can't

00:43:35.400 --> 00:43:36.000
 do this

00:43:36.000 --> 00:43:37.500
 without a

00:43:37.500 --> 00:43:38.340
 deep hope

00:43:38.340 --> 00:43:38.920
 in God.

00:43:39.380 --> 00:43:39.800
 You can't

00:43:39.800 --> 00:43:40.099
 do this

00:43:40.099 --> 00:43:40.719
 without Jesus.

00:43:41.380 --> 00:43:42.139
 It is so

00:43:42.139 --> 00:43:43.039
 unnatural and

00:43:43.039 --> 00:43:43.840
 I think that's

00:43:43.840 --> 00:43:44.800
 exactly why it

00:43:44.800 --> 00:43:45.619
 has the power

00:43:45.619 --> 00:43:47.219
 to attract

00:43:47.219 --> 00:43:47.840
 even an

00:43:47.840 --> 00:43:48.280
 unbelieving

00:43:48.280 --> 00:43:48.619
 husband.

00:43:49.579 --> 00:43:50.179
 Where is

00:43:50.179 --> 00:43:50.739
 this coming

00:43:50.739 --> 00:43:51.159
 from?

00:43:51.159 --> 00:43:54.059
 this deep

00:43:54.059 --> 00:43:54.899
 respect for

00:43:54.899 --> 00:43:55.099
 me,

00:43:56.259 --> 00:43:56.899
 for the

00:43:56.899 --> 00:43:57.219
 husband,

00:43:57.500 --> 00:43:57.920
 a deep

00:43:57.920 --> 00:43:58.539
 respect for

00:43:58.539 --> 00:43:58.759
 him,

00:43:59.599 --> 00:44:00.319
 your soul

00:44:00.319 --> 00:44:01.079
 is settled,

00:44:01.379 --> 00:44:01.819
 a deep

00:44:01.819 --> 00:44:02.359
 hope,

00:44:02.619 --> 00:44:03.059
 you're not

00:44:03.059 --> 00:44:03.699
 frightened.

00:44:06.039 --> 00:44:07.019
 It must

00:44:07.019 --> 00:44:07.839
 come from

00:44:07.839 --> 00:44:08.219
 Jesus.

00:44:13.759 --> 00:44:14.679
 So that's

00:44:14.679 --> 00:44:15.239
 the call

00:44:15.239 --> 00:44:15.920
 for the

00:44:15.920 --> 00:44:16.599
 dance steps

00:44:16.599 --> 00:44:17.339
 for wives.

00:44:17.340 --> 00:44:19.700
 respect even

00:44:19.700 --> 00:44:20.720
 when in

00:44:20.720 --> 00:44:21.400
 difficult

00:44:21.400 --> 00:44:22.220
 circumstances,

00:44:23.220 --> 00:44:24.300
 for Christ's

00:44:24.300 --> 00:44:24.579
 sake.

00:44:29.059 --> 00:44:29.840
 I think

00:44:29.840 --> 00:44:30.720
 this ideal,

00:44:31.440 --> 00:44:31.800
 I'm not

00:44:31.800 --> 00:44:32.519
 sure by the

00:44:32.519 --> 00:44:33.260
 way who's

00:44:33.260 --> 00:44:33.539
 got the

00:44:33.539 --> 00:44:33.860
 harder

00:44:33.860 --> 00:44:34.800
 calling.

00:44:37.500 --> 00:44:38.280
 You can

00:44:38.280 --> 00:44:38.620
 tell me

00:44:38.620 --> 00:44:38.960
 afterwards

00:44:38.960 --> 00:44:39.320
 what you

00:44:39.320 --> 00:44:39.600
 think.

00:44:40.180 --> 00:44:40.960
 Both are

00:44:40.960 --> 00:44:41.500
 called to

00:44:41.500 --> 00:44:42.019
 lay down

00:44:42.019 --> 00:44:44.200
 control and

00:44:44.200 --> 00:44:45.600
 totally give

00:44:45.600 --> 00:44:46.380
 themselves over

00:44:46.380 --> 00:44:47.180
 unconditionally.

00:44:49.180 --> 00:44:49.579
 But this

00:44:49.579 --> 00:44:50.260
 ideal,

00:44:50.780 --> 00:44:51.240
 the more

00:44:51.240 --> 00:44:51.640
 I've been

00:44:51.640 --> 00:44:52.300
 reflecting on

00:44:52.300 --> 00:44:52.480
 it,

00:44:54.780 --> 00:44:55.980
 it just

00:44:55.980 --> 00:44:56.400
 makes you

00:44:56.400 --> 00:44:57.160
 aware of

00:44:57.160 --> 00:44:57.360
 your

00:44:57.360 --> 00:44:58.019
 shortcomings,

00:44:58.260 --> 00:44:58.660
 doesn't it?

00:44:59.660 --> 00:45:00.460
 I don't

00:45:00.460 --> 00:45:01.000
 live up to

00:45:01.000 --> 00:45:01.320
 this.

00:45:03.700 --> 00:45:04.500
 It makes

00:45:04.500 --> 00:45:05.059
 you aware of

00:45:05.059 --> 00:45:06.059
 your spouse's

00:45:06.059 --> 00:45:06.680
 shortcomings.

00:45:13.460 --> 00:45:14.079
 But the

00:45:14.079 --> 00:45:15.119
 resources to

00:45:15.119 --> 00:45:15.619
 live up to

00:45:15.619 --> 00:45:16.339
 this don't

00:45:16.339 --> 00:45:16.940
 come from

00:45:16.940 --> 00:45:17.900
 looking at

00:45:17.900 --> 00:45:18.679
 your spouse,

00:45:18.859 --> 00:45:19.380
 how well

00:45:19.380 --> 00:45:19.920
 they're doing.

00:45:21.380 --> 00:45:21.900
 This is

00:45:21.900 --> 00:45:23.440
 where it's

00:45:23.440 --> 00:45:24.099
 our one

00:45:24.099 --> 00:45:24.519
 body,

00:45:24.699 --> 00:45:25.579
 one flesh

00:45:25.579 --> 00:45:26.920
 relationship

00:45:26.920 --> 00:45:27.599
 with Jesus

00:45:27.599 --> 00:45:28.359
 that men

00:45:28.359 --> 00:45:28.719
 and women

00:45:28.719 --> 00:45:29.139
 have to

00:45:29.139 --> 00:45:29.779
 focus on.

00:45:32.659 --> 00:45:33.259
 Our

00:45:33.259 --> 00:45:34.599
 embrace of

00:45:34.599 --> 00:45:35.779
 this ideal,

00:45:37.380 --> 00:45:38.460
 or whether

00:45:38.460 --> 00:45:38.739
 we're

00:45:38.739 --> 00:45:39.500
 clutching at

00:45:39.500 --> 00:45:40.099
 control,

00:45:40.759 --> 00:45:41.179
 is a bit

00:45:41.179 --> 00:45:41.440
 of a

00:45:41.440 --> 00:45:42.239
 barometer of

00:45:42.239 --> 00:45:42.980
 how much

00:45:42.980 --> 00:45:43.519
 the love

00:45:43.519 --> 00:45:44.139
 of Jesus

00:45:44.139 --> 00:45:44.820
 and his

00:45:44.820 --> 00:45:45.380
 unconditional

00:45:45.380 --> 00:45:45.920
 love is

00:45:45.920 --> 00:45:46.480
 filling our

00:45:46.480 --> 00:45:48.059
 hearts in

00:45:48.059 --> 00:45:48.519
 any given

00:45:48.519 --> 00:45:48.940
 moment.

00:45:51.860 --> 00:45:52.659
 Just as we

00:45:52.659 --> 00:45:53.019
 saw in

00:45:53.019 --> 00:45:53.579
 1 Peter,

00:45:54.079 --> 00:45:54.820
 for wives,

00:45:55.460 --> 00:45:56.159
 your resources

00:45:56.159 --> 00:45:57.019
 don't come from

00:45:57.019 --> 00:45:57.759
 your husband to

00:45:57.759 --> 00:45:58.179
 live up for

00:45:58.179 --> 00:45:58.440
 this.

00:45:59.480 --> 00:46:00.420
 It comes from

00:46:00.420 --> 00:46:01.059
 God and the

00:46:01.059 --> 00:46:01.820
 gospel that

00:46:01.820 --> 00:46:02.420
 fills your

00:46:02.420 --> 00:46:02.780
 heart.

00:46:03.539 --> 00:46:04.340
 I think that's

00:46:04.340 --> 00:46:04.820
 true for

00:46:04.820 --> 00:46:05.480
 husbands too.

00:46:06.559 --> 00:46:07.179
 I hope

00:46:07.179 --> 00:46:07.780
 husbands in

00:46:07.780 --> 00:46:08.280
 the room

00:46:08.280 --> 00:46:09.679
 aren't thinking,

00:46:09.900 --> 00:46:10.739
 great, I'm in

00:46:10.739 --> 00:46:11.139
 charge.

00:46:11.139 --> 00:46:12.299
 If you're

00:46:12.299 --> 00:46:12.839
 hearing that

00:46:12.839 --> 00:46:13.940
 message, you're

00:46:13.940 --> 00:46:14.379
 not getting

00:46:14.379 --> 00:46:14.739
 it yet.

00:46:15.539 --> 00:46:16.319
 You don't

00:46:16.319 --> 00:46:16.960
 understand,

00:46:18.639 --> 00:46:19.079
 you're not

00:46:19.079 --> 00:46:19.779
 wise enough,

00:46:20.059 --> 00:46:20.379
 you're not

00:46:20.379 --> 00:46:21.019
 good enough,

00:46:21.139 --> 00:46:21.440
 you're not

00:46:21.440 --> 00:46:22.179
 strong enough

00:46:22.179 --> 00:46:23.199
 to live up

00:46:23.199 --> 00:46:23.579
 to this.

00:46:24.980 --> 00:46:25.539
 But I'm

00:46:25.539 --> 00:46:27.119
 guessing our

00:46:27.119 --> 00:46:28.440
 reaction for

00:46:28.440 --> 00:46:28.859
 the men in

00:46:28.859 --> 00:46:29.420
 the room is,

00:46:30.539 --> 00:46:32.739
 I can't do

00:46:32.739 --> 00:46:32.980
 this.

00:46:36.519 --> 00:46:37.319
 That's great.

00:46:37.839 --> 00:46:38.199
 That's the

00:46:38.199 --> 00:46:38.639
 place we're

00:46:38.639 --> 00:46:39.199
 called to be

00:46:39.199 --> 00:46:39.819
 because the

00:46:39.819 --> 00:46:40.639
 resources for

00:46:40.639 --> 00:46:41.259
 this is to

00:46:41.259 --> 00:46:41.859
 focus on

00:46:41.859 --> 00:46:42.219
 Jesus.

00:46:44.439 --> 00:46:45.299
 It's not a

00:46:45.299 --> 00:46:46.559
 macho, I'm

00:46:46.559 --> 00:46:47.379
 in control, I

00:46:47.379 --> 00:46:48.039
 can do this.

00:46:48.419 --> 00:46:48.980
 It's not a

00:46:48.980 --> 00:46:49.960
 withdrawing in

00:46:49.960 --> 00:46:50.980
 fear because it's

00:46:50.980 --> 00:46:51.500
 such a high

00:46:51.500 --> 00:46:51.899
 calling.

00:46:53.299 --> 00:46:55.319
 It's relying on

00:46:55.319 --> 00:46:56.099
 his provision

00:46:56.099 --> 00:46:58.939
 and stepping in

00:46:58.939 --> 00:46:59.319
 to be

00:46:59.319 --> 00:46:59.799
 courageous.

00:47:02.019 --> 00:47:02.839
 So men and

00:47:02.839 --> 00:47:04.219
 women, the

00:47:04.219 --> 00:47:05.239
 power to

00:47:05.239 --> 00:47:06.259
 embrace this

00:47:06.259 --> 00:47:07.739
 dance doesn't

00:47:07.739 --> 00:47:08.199
 come from

00:47:08.199 --> 00:47:08.599
 yourself.

00:47:08.739 --> 00:47:09.159
 It doesn't

00:47:09.159 --> 00:47:09.599
 come from

00:47:09.599 --> 00:47:09.980
 looking at

00:47:09.980 --> 00:47:10.480
 your spouse,

00:47:10.599 --> 00:47:11.000
 how they're

00:47:11.000 --> 00:47:11.679
 doing, otherwise

00:47:11.679 --> 00:47:12.259
 it would be

00:47:12.259 --> 00:47:13.279
 transactional again.

00:47:13.559 --> 00:47:14.319
 It comes from

00:47:14.319 --> 00:47:15.819
 looking at the

00:47:15.819 --> 00:47:16.739
 unconditional love

00:47:16.739 --> 00:47:17.939
 of Jesus found

00:47:17.939 --> 00:47:18.559
 in the cross.

00:47:19.659 --> 00:47:20.639
 It's his care,

00:47:20.779 --> 00:47:21.159
 it's his

00:47:21.159 --> 00:47:22.019
 sovereignty, it's

00:47:22.019 --> 00:47:22.699
 his provision,

00:47:23.219 --> 00:47:23.899
 it's trusting

00:47:23.899 --> 00:47:24.259
 him.

00:47:24.260 --> 00:47:33.540
 while our

00:47:33.540 --> 00:47:35.500
 society, men

00:47:35.500 --> 00:47:36.380
 call their

00:47:36.380 --> 00:47:36.960
 wives

00:47:36.960 --> 00:47:39.260
 boss, I'll

00:47:39.260 --> 00:47:39.680
 ask the

00:47:39.680 --> 00:47:41.160
 boss, you

00:47:41.160 --> 00:47:41.680
 heard that one?

00:47:41.800 --> 00:47:42.460
 No, I hear it

00:47:42.460 --> 00:47:42.960
 quite frequently.

00:47:43.480 --> 00:47:44.560
 I reckon that's

00:47:44.560 --> 00:47:45.380
 a thinly

00:47:45.380 --> 00:47:46.840
 veiled contempt

00:47:46.840 --> 00:47:46.860
!

00:47:46.860 --> 00:47:48.820
 contempt for

00:47:48.820 --> 00:47:50.120
 the power

00:47:50.120 --> 00:47:50.940
 struggle going

00:47:50.940 --> 00:47:51.220
 on.

00:47:54.559 --> 00:47:55.260
 And then

00:47:55.260 --> 00:47:55.960
 you've got my

00:47:55.960 --> 00:47:56.700
 big fat

00:47:56.700 --> 00:47:57.300
 Greek wedding

00:47:57.300 --> 00:47:58.280
 movie where

00:47:58.280 --> 00:48:00.440
 the wife in

00:48:00.440 --> 00:48:01.019
 that movie

00:48:01.019 --> 00:48:01.480
 goes, oh

00:48:01.480 --> 00:48:01.880
 fine, he

00:48:01.880 --> 00:48:02.300
 can be the

00:48:02.300 --> 00:48:02.860
 head, the

00:48:02.860 --> 00:48:03.320
 wife's the

00:48:03.320 --> 00:48:04.099
 neck, they

00:48:04.099 --> 00:48:04.679
 can turn the

00:48:04.679 --> 00:48:05.119
 head wherever

00:48:05.119 --> 00:48:05.800
 she wants.

00:48:08.659 --> 00:48:09.360
 That's our

00:48:09.360 --> 00:48:10.599
 societies, it's

00:48:10.599 --> 00:48:11.119
 this power

00:48:11.119 --> 00:48:11.539
 struggle.

00:48:11.539 --> 00:48:15.279
 But this

00:48:15.279 --> 00:48:16.199
 beautiful dance

00:48:16.199 --> 00:48:16.719
 we're called

00:48:16.719 --> 00:48:18.000
 to, when we

00:48:18.000 --> 00:48:18.500
 look at the

00:48:18.500 --> 00:48:19.779
 cross, both

00:48:19.779 --> 00:48:20.239
 men and

00:48:20.239 --> 00:48:21.380
 women, and

00:48:21.380 --> 00:48:22.219
 we lay down

00:48:22.219 --> 00:48:22.820
 our need to

00:48:22.820 --> 00:48:23.420
 be in control

00:48:23.420 --> 00:48:23.940
 because we

00:48:23.940 --> 00:48:24.719
 trust him.

00:48:26.039 --> 00:48:26.960
 We want to

00:48:26.960 --> 00:48:27.880
 reflect him.

00:48:28.820 --> 00:48:30.079
 We hear the

00:48:30.079 --> 00:48:30.960
 call to

00:48:30.960 --> 00:48:32.679
 love our

00:48:32.679 --> 00:48:34.239
 wives and

00:48:34.239 --> 00:48:35.079
 be a slave

00:48:35.079 --> 00:48:35.739
 and we call

00:48:35.739 --> 00:48:36.219
 it, that's

00:48:36.219 --> 00:48:36.659
 great.

00:48:37.159 --> 00:48:37.639
 I get to

00:48:37.639 --> 00:48:38.259
 reflect his

00:48:38.259 --> 00:48:38.619
 greatness.

00:48:38.960 --> 00:48:39.539
 We hear the

00:48:39.539 --> 00:48:40.519
 call to submit

00:48:40.519 --> 00:48:41.000
 to our

00:48:41.000 --> 00:48:41.420
 husbands,

00:48:41.539 --> 00:48:42.199
 and we

00:48:42.199 --> 00:48:42.800
 know God

00:48:42.800 --> 00:48:43.500
 says that's

00:48:43.500 --> 00:48:44.420
 precious to

00:48:44.420 --> 00:48:45.739
 me, that's

00:48:45.739 --> 00:48:47.920
 praiseworthy, just

00:48:47.920 --> 00:48:48.519
 as Christ

00:48:48.519 --> 00:48:49.279
 submitting himself

00:48:49.279 --> 00:48:50.239
 is praiseworthy.

00:48:51.340 --> 00:48:53.699
 That creates

00:48:53.699 --> 00:48:55.559
 this unconditional

00:48:55.559 --> 00:48:56.360
 love that we

00:48:56.360 --> 00:48:57.019
 all crave.

00:48:58.579 --> 00:48:59.500
 Only when we

00:48:59.500 --> 00:49:00.199
 look at Jesus

00:49:00.199 --> 00:49:03.500
 people see a

00:49:03.500 --> 00:49:05.460
 friendship because

00:49:05.460 --> 00:49:06.039
 we're enjoying

00:49:06.039 --> 00:49:06.840
 God together

00:49:06.840 --> 00:49:08.900
 when this is

00:49:08.900 --> 00:49:09.380
 done well.

00:49:09.380 --> 00:49:15.180
 I think of

00:49:15.180 --> 00:49:16.880
 my friend who

00:49:16.880 --> 00:49:17.780
 carried his

00:49:17.780 --> 00:49:19.039
 sick wife into

00:49:19.039 --> 00:49:19.599
 the concert

00:49:19.599 --> 00:49:22.680
 hall in his

00:49:22.680 --> 00:49:23.160
 arms.

00:49:24.500 --> 00:49:25.019
 People see

00:49:25.019 --> 00:49:26.039
 that kind of

00:49:26.039 --> 00:49:28.160
 till death do

00:49:28.160 --> 00:49:28.660
 us part

00:49:28.660 --> 00:49:29.260
 sacrifice.

00:49:29.260 --> 00:49:29.580
 eyes.

00:49:31.580 --> 00:49:32.340
 It's beautiful.

00:49:34.280 --> 00:49:35.100
 I think of

00:49:35.100 --> 00:49:35.500
 her husband

00:49:35.500 --> 00:49:36.060
 and wife.

00:49:36.780 --> 00:49:37.860
 She was so

00:49:37.860 --> 00:49:38.400
 intelligent.

00:49:38.760 --> 00:49:39.120
 She could

00:49:39.120 --> 00:49:40.300
 theologically run

00:49:40.300 --> 00:49:41.380
 rings around her

00:49:41.380 --> 00:49:41.740
 husband.

00:49:43.180 --> 00:49:43.840
 But my

00:49:43.840 --> 00:49:45.280
 lasting impression

00:49:45.280 --> 00:49:45.660
 of their

00:49:45.660 --> 00:49:46.440
 relationship is

00:49:46.440 --> 00:49:47.520
 she admired

00:49:47.520 --> 00:49:47.840
 him.

00:49:49.320 --> 00:49:49.560
 His

00:49:49.560 --> 00:49:50.320
 gentleness,

00:49:51.320 --> 00:49:52.440
 his care.

00:49:52.440 --> 00:49:58.360
 when we

00:49:58.360 --> 00:49:59.519
 look at the

00:49:59.519 --> 00:50:00.320
 unconditional love

00:50:00.320 --> 00:50:00.940
 of the cross

00:50:00.940 --> 00:50:01.820
 and our hearts

00:50:01.820 --> 00:50:03.579
 are full and

00:50:03.579 --> 00:50:04.800
 we reflect in a

00:50:04.800 --> 00:50:05.619
 small part his

00:50:05.619 --> 00:50:06.800
 unconditional love,

00:50:06.940 --> 00:50:08.139
 it brings glory to

00:50:08.139 --> 00:50:08.480
 Jesus.

00:50:09.700 --> 00:50:11.639
 If we focus on

00:50:11.639 --> 00:50:12.360
 our one flesh

00:50:12.360 --> 00:50:13.220
 dance with Jesus

00:50:13.220 --> 00:50:14.280
 then our one

00:50:14.280 --> 00:50:15.099
 flesh dance with

00:50:15.099 --> 00:50:15.940
 one another will

00:50:15.940 --> 00:50:16.840
 be stunning.

00:50:18.240 --> 00:50:19.059
 Not a power

00:50:19.059 --> 00:50:20.059
 struggle but a

00:50:20.059 --> 00:50:21.960
 stunning dance.

00:50:21.960 --> 00:50:23.760
 will you pray

00:50:23.760 --> 00:50:24.039
 with me?

00:50:24.199 --> 00:50:24.579
 Let's pray.

00:50:43.260 --> 00:50:44.199
 Father that

00:50:44.199 --> 00:50:44.980
 you're calling

00:50:44.980 --> 00:50:45.940
 us to

00:50:45.940 --> 00:50:47.960
 lay down

00:50:47.960 --> 00:50:49.079
 our control.

00:50:49.860 --> 00:50:51.039
 We can't do

00:50:51.039 --> 00:50:51.980
 it on our

00:50:51.980 --> 00:50:52.300
 own.

00:50:52.840 --> 00:50:53.659
 I pray that

00:50:53.659 --> 00:50:53.980
 you would

00:50:53.980 --> 00:50:55.800
 so fill our

00:50:55.800 --> 00:50:56.659
 hearts with

00:50:56.659 --> 00:50:58.000
 trust in you

00:50:58.000 --> 00:51:00.500
 and give us

00:51:00.500 --> 00:51:01.019
 such a

00:51:01.019 --> 00:51:01.519
 positive

00:51:01.519 --> 00:51:03.679
 vision of

00:51:03.679 --> 00:51:04.059
 what you're

00:51:04.059 --> 00:51:04.679
 calling us

00:51:04.679 --> 00:51:06.500
 to that

00:51:06.500 --> 00:51:09.400
 we willingly

00:51:09.400 --> 00:51:10.199
 let go.

00:51:10.199 --> 00:51:13.539
 that we see

00:51:13.539 --> 00:51:14.059
 the high

00:51:14.059 --> 00:51:15.359
 calling of

00:51:15.359 --> 00:51:18.539
 reflecting

00:51:18.539 --> 00:51:20.460
 your love

00:51:20.460 --> 00:51:21.139
 in the

00:51:21.139 --> 00:51:21.559
 church

00:51:21.559 --> 00:51:22.519
 and trying

00:51:22.519 --> 00:51:23.159
 to win

00:51:23.159 --> 00:51:24.299
 those who

00:51:24.299 --> 00:51:24.960
 don't know

00:51:24.960 --> 00:51:25.460
 you and

00:51:25.460 --> 00:51:25.779
 who are

00:51:25.779 --> 00:51:26.480
 straying away

00:51:26.480 --> 00:51:26.919
 from you

00:51:26.919 --> 00:51:27.659
 back to you.

00:51:28.659 --> 00:51:29.219
 Give us

00:51:29.219 --> 00:51:29.759
 that high

00:51:29.759 --> 00:51:30.659
 calling and

00:51:30.659 --> 00:51:31.159
 give us

00:51:31.159 --> 00:51:32.399
 impress on

00:51:32.399 --> 00:51:32.919
 our hearts

00:51:32.919 --> 00:51:33.719
 this beautiful

00:51:33.719 --> 00:51:35.679
 picture so

00:51:35.679 --> 00:51:36.139
 that we might

00:51:36.139 --> 00:51:36.759
 live lives

00:51:36.759 --> 00:51:37.199
 that please

00:51:37.199 --> 00:51:37.419
 you.

00:51:37.579 --> 00:51:37.919
 In Jesus

00:51:37.919 --> 00:51:38.359
 name I

00:51:38.359 --> 00:51:38.579
 pray.

00:51:38.919 --> 00:51:39.219
 Amen.

00:51:39.219 --> 00:51:39.319
 Amen.