WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.600 Father God, we thank you so much for this afternoon. 00:00:02.819 --> 00:00:07.719 Thank you that we have the opportunity this morning to gather as the body of Christ to make much of you. 00:00:07.719 --> 00:00:19.359 And Lord, we thank you for seminars like these, Lord, where we can continue to magnify you, where we can continue to see you as our great God, but also our dear and close friend, Lord. 00:00:19.980 --> 00:00:28.480 And so, Lord, we just pray that during the seminar, we can just learn about what your heart is, Lord, about what your heart is when it comes to friendships. 00:00:28.480 --> 00:00:39.340 And Lord, help us to also just think about how we can foster close friendships as brothers and sisters in Christ and how we can also just think about friendships outside of the church as well during this time. 00:00:40.020 --> 00:00:43.579 We thank you, Lord. We love you. And we pray all of this in Jesus name. Amen. 00:00:45.579 --> 00:00:51.840 Cool. So before I sort of open everything up, I wanted to do a quick book giveaway. 00:00:51.840 --> 00:00:59.840 I know we at Trinity really love these book giveaways, but I so happen to have three copies of this book at home. 00:01:00.800 --> 00:01:14.120 Encouragement by Jared Millinger. This is a book written by a sovereign grace pastor who he just has a lot to say about what churches should be pursuing in regards to friendship and the culture of encouragement. 00:01:14.120 --> 00:01:29.000 And honestly, reading this book has helped me sort of re-framework a lot of my own bad habits of being more of a critical person, of being more of a Debbie Downer in a lot of cases, an Eeyore, if I may. 00:01:29.000 --> 00:01:44.739 And has just showed me like what it can look like to be an encouraging person to those around you and where we can see in the Bible where examples of encouragement amongst people, amongst each other in the Bible and the ways that we can be encouraged by the word as well. 00:01:44.859 --> 00:01:50.180 And so I wanted to share this book because I'm going to talk a little bit about it towards the end of our seminar today. 00:01:50.180 --> 00:01:54.180 So I'm going to give the first one a way to... 00:01:55.500 --> 00:01:57.060 I should have thought of this a little earlier. 00:01:57.720 --> 00:01:58.580 Who has no friend now? 00:02:01.920 --> 00:02:02.800 Let's do this. 00:02:03.300 --> 00:02:06.740 Who is greatly in need of encouragement right now? 00:02:07.300 --> 00:02:09.260 Does anyone want to raise a hand? 00:02:14.400 --> 00:02:15.700 All right. I'm going to pass it to you. 00:02:17.600 --> 00:02:18.319 Congratulations, brother. 00:02:20.180 --> 00:02:21.939 All right. 00:02:22.140 --> 00:02:23.099 A second here. 00:02:25.680 --> 00:02:27.980 All right. 00:02:28.080 --> 00:02:32.180 So there are maybe a couple of you guys who may have attended the leadership retreat. 00:02:32.300 --> 00:02:35.000 So sorry, you guys already have a copy of this book, actually. 00:02:35.360 --> 00:02:40.980 So can anyone tell me what the name Barnabas means? 00:02:42.159 --> 00:02:42.560 Barnabas? 00:02:42.800 --> 00:02:43.240 Barnabas. 00:02:44.780 --> 00:02:45.900 Son of Encouragement. 00:02:45.960 --> 00:02:46.920 Son of Encouragement. 00:02:46.920 --> 00:02:47.700 That's the answer. 00:02:47.700 --> 00:02:48.000 Whoa! 00:02:48.540 --> 00:02:49.180 Yes, sir! 00:02:49.180 --> 00:02:50.340 Congratulations. 00:02:54.340 --> 00:02:54.780 Cool. 00:02:56.200 --> 00:02:59.379 I hope that, yeah, that this book is of good help to you guys. 00:02:59.620 --> 00:03:03.319 And feel free to share with others once you're done reading it. 00:03:04.460 --> 00:03:04.900 Cool. 00:03:05.000 --> 00:03:07.560 Let's jump right on into our seminar now. 00:03:07.560 --> 00:03:12.800 So, romance and womence, or we'll just call it friendship, encouragement through friendship. 00:03:13.840 --> 00:03:17.520 So, like I said, I'm going to preface this entire seminar. 00:03:17.520 --> 00:03:25.400 Or I'm going to, this seminar is going to be sort of a large-scale overview of what the theology of friendship is, as we see in the Bible. 00:03:25.400 --> 00:03:41.860 And then towards the end, I'm going to sort of open it up to more of a Q&A discussion type of time, so that we can talk a bit more about sort of practical observations, practical tips that we can consider as we pursue friendships both inside and outside of the church. 00:03:41.860 --> 00:03:48.180 And so, let me start off by talking about why we are having this seminar. 00:03:48.460 --> 00:03:50.280 Like, why do we want to talk about friendship? 00:03:50.280 --> 00:03:57.420 In this day and age, we actually have a modern problem with friendship. 00:03:58.300 --> 00:04:00.759 We have so many different words for friends. 00:04:00.900 --> 00:04:05.199 We have buddy, pal, chum, A$AP Rocky says friendo. 00:04:06.000 --> 00:04:09.560 People say my bestie, biffle, all these different terms. 00:04:09.920 --> 00:04:12.259 And it's just so lightly thrown around. 00:04:12.259 --> 00:04:19.840 It's thrown around everywhere at this point that the meaning of the word friend has become very broad and vague in a lot of instances. 00:04:20.279 --> 00:04:26.619 The other day, I think it was about a month ago now, I met someone who shared a mutual connection with me. 00:04:27.439 --> 00:04:32.199 And after we found this out, I literally exclaimed, oh my gosh, we're friends. 00:04:32.599 --> 00:04:35.779 I haven't spoken to this mutual in over 10 years. 00:04:36.279 --> 00:04:38.759 And yet, I call them friend. 00:04:39.539 --> 00:04:47.739 When we look at our social media, our Facebook friends, how many of these friends can we identify as true friends, 00:04:47.740 --> 00:04:52.319 rather than just former friends or acquaintances or even just mere contacts? 00:04:53.639 --> 00:05:04.199 And yet, as broad as the term friend has become, our world, our culture today, loneliness and lack of close friendships have become more and more pervasive over the years. 00:05:04.199 --> 00:05:14.199 We're so busy tossing the word friend around that we haven't realized that there's this acclimating loneliness that has been going through just our world here and now. 00:05:15.139 --> 00:05:21.620 A study back in 2006 reported that back in 1985, the average American had about three close friends. 00:05:22.199 --> 00:05:26.279 People who they can confide in and share the most important details of their life with. 00:05:26.279 --> 00:05:32.159 But come 20 years later, in 2004, the average American only had two close friends. 00:05:32.699 --> 00:05:38.719 And out of those polled, about one-fourth of Americans who were polled reported to have no close friends at all. 00:05:39.979 --> 00:05:45.939 Another study conducted back in 2021 by the American Perspectives Survey, 00:05:45.939 --> 00:05:57.360 they reported that the percentage of polled U.S. adults who claimed to have no friends had quadrupled from 3% back in 1990 to 12% in 2021. 00:05:58.579 --> 00:06:06.199 And so there is this rise in people feeling the sense of loneliness, feeling the sense of not having folks who they can confide in, 00:06:06.279 --> 00:06:08.939 and sort of just being stuck in that situation. 00:06:08.939 --> 00:06:16.180 There's a book that was really helpful for me as I was prepping for the seminar called Made for Friendship, 00:06:16.620 --> 00:06:20.439 The Relationship That Halves Our Sorrows and Doubles Our Joys by Drew Hunter. 00:06:20.920 --> 00:06:22.620 Highly recommend this book to you guys. 00:06:22.740 --> 00:06:24.180 Made for Friendship by Drew Hunter. 00:06:24.800 --> 00:06:32.060 He actually provides a really more, a much more in-depth theological analysis of what friendship looks like. 00:06:32.379 --> 00:06:37.680 And he does a lot of good job on talking about what it means to have Christian friendships amongst each other. 00:06:37.680 --> 00:06:40.480 And so definitely do recommend that to you guys. 00:06:40.879 --> 00:06:48.860 But all that to say, in his book, Hunter, he identifies three different aspects of modern culture that creates obstacles to building deep friendships. 00:06:49.439 --> 00:06:55.319 And so three obstacles that prevent us today, here and now, from creating and cultivating deeper friendships. 00:06:56.019 --> 00:06:59.620 The first modern aspect is busyness. 00:07:00.300 --> 00:07:01.560 We've just become a lot more busy. 00:07:01.560 --> 00:07:08.399 You can tell just by the work hours, our culture is just hustle and bustle. 00:07:09.160 --> 00:07:10.060 The grind don't stop. 00:07:10.579 --> 00:07:15.199 And so because of this culture of busyness, it's just been harder to make friends. 00:07:15.780 --> 00:07:19.720 And Hunter, he categorizes busyness into three different categories. 00:07:20.340 --> 00:07:22.340 The first is actual busyness. 00:07:22.339 --> 00:07:27.959 So based on your life stages, you're going to have children or family that you have to care for. 00:07:28.039 --> 00:07:29.060 You have your work hours. 00:07:29.359 --> 00:07:31.759 You have your unique life stage challenges and all that. 00:07:32.539 --> 00:07:35.560 The second category is distracted busyness. 00:07:36.299 --> 00:07:48.120 So distracted busyness is essentially procrastinating, doom scrolling, binge watching, just using time and taking up time, doing things that aren't necessarily the most meaningful for yourself. 00:07:48.620 --> 00:07:50.819 It's just to take up space. 00:07:50.819 --> 00:07:54.920 And then the third category is perceived busyness. 00:07:55.620 --> 00:07:57.420 And that's looking busy. 00:07:57.860 --> 00:08:05.680 Oftentimes, if you actually are busy, your demeanor, your disposition is going to show that you are busy. 00:08:05.860 --> 00:08:12.980 And so how that appears to other people, they'll see that and be like, oh, this person is a little too busy. 00:08:13.360 --> 00:08:19.300 I don't know if I'll be able to make time to hang out with them or whatnot because it looks like they have a lot going on. 00:08:19.300 --> 00:08:26.600 I feel like that's often a trap amongst pastors and elders, the appearance of looking too busy. 00:08:27.060 --> 00:08:33.500 And so church members can come and be like, oh, you seem like you have a lot on your plate already, so I don't want to bring my problem over. 00:08:33.740 --> 00:08:35.919 But it's not just limited to pastors and elders. 00:08:35.919 --> 00:08:42.439 Many of us can also have that same disposition of, oh, you look like you're going from one place to another without any breaks and whatnot. 00:08:42.599 --> 00:08:49.740 And so it just creates like a wall, a sort of obstacle that prevents people from wanting to reach out in that sense. 00:08:50.259 --> 00:08:52.539 And so that's the first modern aspect, busyness. 00:08:52.539 --> 00:08:55.939 The second modern aspect is technology. 00:08:56.819 --> 00:09:04.899 As good and helpful as technology is with forming connections or reconnecting with people or maintaining connections, 00:09:05.159 --> 00:09:09.000 it also has its own issues when it comes to building deeper friendships. 00:09:10.039 --> 00:09:13.459 Hunter talks about how technology depersonalizes communication. 00:09:13.460 --> 00:09:20.440 There's something very disembodied about either just texting each other or even just like video calling. 00:09:21.460 --> 00:09:26.379 Like you're not able to see the full person or either that or just you're just seeing a wall of text. 00:09:26.379 --> 00:09:30.080 So it doesn't allow you to have that sort of face-to-face interaction. 00:09:30.740 --> 00:09:40.700 And it does create a dependence on using very detached ways of communicating very personal issues. 00:09:40.700 --> 00:09:47.800 Within the church, we can think about, say, addressing sin with each other or confessing sin to one another. 00:09:48.140 --> 00:09:52.360 It's so easy when you text to be able to draft something up. 00:09:52.620 --> 00:09:56.580 It's so easy to curate your own message. 00:09:56.920 --> 00:09:59.620 And you can be like, hey, I messed up on this. 00:09:59.720 --> 00:10:03.460 But let me backtrack to a few days ago about how I came to this point of sin. 00:10:03.460 --> 00:10:10.720 But when you're face-to-face, you don't have that opportunity to draft up a response, draft up what you're going to say to people. 00:10:10.860 --> 00:10:12.639 It's going to be in the moment very real. 00:10:13.120 --> 00:10:18.040 And so that's one of the things that technology obviously takes away from. 00:10:18.120 --> 00:10:22.860 You don't have that opportunity to have the face-to-face raw and live conversations with each other. 00:10:22.860 --> 00:10:34.300 And not just with sin, but with any personal issue, there is a lot that's taken up when you decide to just type something up and send it out. 00:10:34.379 --> 00:10:37.899 Because you have the chance to edit it and make it look polished and clean. 00:10:38.779 --> 00:10:44.440 When in person, you can see the raw emotions and have those raw conversations. 00:10:45.180 --> 00:10:47.680 And so that's the second modern aspect, technology. 00:10:47.679 --> 00:10:52.159 The third modern aspect is increased mobility. 00:10:52.879 --> 00:10:59.959 I think many of us here at Trinity are very aware of this, that we're a very transient church. 00:11:00.379 --> 00:11:03.839 A lot of people come in and a lot of people go out year by year. 00:11:05.379 --> 00:11:11.979 I feel like I've seen within one year like 20 members leave our church to go on to their next life stage. 00:11:12.240 --> 00:11:14.819 And another 20 just almost immediately flood in. 00:11:14.820 --> 00:11:19.860 And so it's not something that's just limited to outside of the church. 00:11:19.960 --> 00:11:21.400 We see it in Trinity as well. 00:11:21.680 --> 00:11:32.500 But increased mobility, the ability to move so much more easily than ever before, it does create in a lot of people an attitude of like, why bother? 00:11:32.600 --> 00:11:37.379 Why do I bother investing in friendships when I know that this person is going to move within the next year or so? 00:11:37.379 --> 00:11:43.899 Why bother talking about very personal things or getting deeper into the weeds about my own life with this person? 00:11:43.899 --> 00:11:52.100 When our demographics, our population, our members are going to look so different within like two years. 00:11:52.100 --> 00:11:58.180 I think there are plenty of people who have that sort of mentality of like, this is getting very fatiguing for me. 00:11:58.879 --> 00:12:07.860 And because everyone's constantly moving, it's harder for me to like build connections and sort of hope that they remain over a longer period of time. 00:12:07.860 --> 00:12:17.460 And so increased mobility, it erodes a lot of those roots of being able to like have that feeling of long term connectedness. 00:12:17.700 --> 00:12:21.720 And it often leads to jadenness and trying to build relationships and friendships. 00:12:21.720 --> 00:12:27.000 So those are the three modern aspects, business, technology, increased mobility. 00:12:27.540 --> 00:12:30.519 And like I said, these obstacles, they're at play even in the church. 00:12:30.660 --> 00:12:35.060 We're not immune to this loneliness epidemic that we see all around us. 00:12:35.899 --> 00:12:46.460 However, I will say, as friends and followers of Jesus, we have the unique reality of having an eternal friend in Jesus. 00:12:46.460 --> 00:13:00.220 And through Jesus, we're able to cultivate close friendships with one another, that distance, that technology, that business of our lives can't and shouldn't necessarily create obstacles for. 00:13:00.759 --> 00:13:15.139 I think the more I talk with a lot of my non-Christian friends, the more blessed I feel about the fact that we have like a weekly opportunity to get together with one another as the body of Christ to gather and worship our Lord. 00:13:15.139 --> 00:13:18.679 But what happens after that is just as important as well. 00:13:18.779 --> 00:13:23.100 The time of fellowship, the time of the opportunities to build deeper friendships with one another. 00:13:23.259 --> 00:13:26.299 It's like it's like a softball in our day and age. 00:13:26.559 --> 00:13:27.659 It's like you're just tossing. 00:13:27.740 --> 00:13:32.919 It's so easy for us to have that sort of access as opposed to many other people who are outside of the church. 00:13:32.919 --> 00:13:48.819 And so I personally just feel very blessed that I'm able to be part of a church family that is able to have that face-to-face interactions with us, with each other on the week-to-week. 00:13:49.620 --> 00:13:57.599 And then seeing other people be very intentional with trying to meet outside of church, outside of CGs, to connect with one another and go deeper in that way. 00:13:57.600 --> 00:14:03.399 And so all that to say, our thesis for our seminar today is this. 00:14:04.480 --> 00:14:06.940 Friendship reveals God's own heart for us. 00:14:07.659 --> 00:14:10.279 Friendship, it strengthens our relationship with God. 00:14:10.779 --> 00:14:13.659 And friendship, it deepens our fellowship with one another. 00:14:13.659 --> 00:14:22.199 And so from here, I'm going to just sort of talk about the theological and biblical arc of what friendship looks like in the Bible. 00:14:22.819 --> 00:14:30.219 And how we can consider a lot of things that God teaches us in his word regarding the Bible, regarding friendship. 00:14:32.039 --> 00:14:35.299 And so first, friendship is a gift from God. 00:14:35.919 --> 00:14:40.399 Friendship and relationship is part of God's nature. 00:14:40.399 --> 00:14:45.220 In fact, friendship and relationship were divine realities before human realities. 00:14:45.879 --> 00:14:48.179 And we know that because of the Holy Trinity. 00:14:49.120 --> 00:14:55.500 Before man was formed, the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit were in eternal fellowship and in perfect love with one another. 00:14:56.120 --> 00:14:58.279 And we have texts to prove this. 00:14:58.360 --> 00:14:58.980 Genesis 1. 00:14:59.319 --> 00:15:01.000 In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. 00:15:01.100 --> 00:15:04.299 The earth was without form and void, and darkness was over the face of the deep. 00:15:04.539 --> 00:15:07.220 And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters. 00:15:07.299 --> 00:15:08.539 The Spirit was with the Father. 00:15:08.539 --> 00:15:10.079 And John chapter 1. 00:15:10.179 --> 00:15:13.839 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 00:15:14.000 --> 00:15:15.719 He was in the beginning with God. 00:15:15.839 --> 00:15:17.620 The Word being the Son, Jesus. 00:15:18.439 --> 00:15:26.620 And so we see that the triune God was in eternal fellowship with one another well before man came into the picture. 00:15:27.259 --> 00:15:29.899 And God, he doesn't keep this fellowship to himself. 00:15:29.899 --> 00:15:36.000 He's in perfect fellowship with the person of the Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit. 00:15:36.000 --> 00:15:42.039 But he also invites humans into this fellowship, into this relationship with himself and with one another. 00:15:42.939 --> 00:15:48.100 And just as we were created in the image of God, God, he gave us also a very relational heart. 00:15:48.500 --> 00:15:53.019 Humans were created to have a need for relationships and friendships since the very beginning. 00:15:53.019 --> 00:16:09.819 A couple of texts that I found in the Bible that were just a remarkable reminder of God's relationship to and his fellowship with us come in Genesis chapter 3 and Leviticus chapter 26. 00:16:09.820 --> 00:16:18.800 Genesis chapter 3 is a little interesting because we see that this is like after Adam and Eve, they fall into sin and rebel against the Lord. 00:16:19.160 --> 00:16:21.080 But we see in verses 8 to 9, 00:16:21.460 --> 00:16:25.940 And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day. 00:16:26.600 --> 00:16:29.440 The Lord God called to the man and said to him, Where are you? 00:16:30.080 --> 00:16:36.120 There was a time when Jesus, pardon me, when God was walking in the garden. 00:16:36.120 --> 00:16:39.600 And he was able to be face to face with Adam and Eve. 00:16:40.060 --> 00:16:42.759 But the sin of the world obviously destroyed that relationship. 00:16:42.960 --> 00:16:46.000 But there was a time where God walked among us. 00:16:46.940 --> 00:16:48.779 Leviticus chapter 26 also says, 00:16:49.600 --> 00:16:53.940 And God says, I will walk among you and will be your God and you shall be my people. 00:16:54.299 --> 00:17:01.539 The very act of God walking among us, whether that's looking for Adam and Eve or him resting in the tabernacle, 00:17:01.539 --> 00:17:09.299 His presence resting in the tabernacle among the Israelites, it shows his desire for us to be close to him, to be in relationship with him. 00:17:09.940 --> 00:17:14.460 And so prior to the fall, God walked with his people and he was with them face to face. 00:17:15.839 --> 00:17:19.899 God also creates us so that we can be in friendship and relationship with one another. 00:17:20.559 --> 00:17:24.159 And we see that from the very start in the creation narrative. 00:17:24.279 --> 00:17:25.819 Genesis chapter 2, verse 18. 00:17:25.819 --> 00:17:30.240 And then the Lord God said, it is not good that the man should be alone. 00:17:31.119 --> 00:17:37.740 God, he creates all these things, the sky, the earth, the waters and the birds of the air, all these things. 00:17:37.799 --> 00:17:38.939 And he says, oh, this is good. 00:17:39.099 --> 00:17:39.579 This is good. 00:17:40.359 --> 00:17:44.319 And then he creates Adam and he sees that Adam is all alone. 00:17:44.700 --> 00:17:47.720 And he finally deems something as not good. 00:17:48.259 --> 00:17:50.299 And that's the fact that Adam is alone. 00:17:51.939 --> 00:17:54.339 And so there's that one thing that God deems. 00:17:54.339 --> 00:17:56.319 And mind you, this is before the fall. 00:17:57.459 --> 00:17:59.439 Before sin enters into the story. 00:17:59.579 --> 00:18:04.959 What God saw first as not good was Adam's and as a whole mankind's loneliness. 00:18:05.740 --> 00:18:11.480 And in seeing that God, he so graciously and kindly gives Adam the gift of companionship. 00:18:11.579 --> 00:18:14.839 And he gives us that same gift of friendship and companionship. 00:18:15.799 --> 00:18:23.119 And so we see from the very start, we were made to desire friendship and companionship because our God is a relational God. 00:18:24.339 --> 00:18:30.240 But the second thing that we need to remind ourselves of is that friendship has been marred by the fall. 00:18:30.899 --> 00:18:37.500 The very fact that we can't be in face-to-face relationship with God is proof of this here and now. 00:18:38.459 --> 00:18:40.099 Proverbs 16.28 says, 00:18:40.099 --> 00:18:44.279 A dishonest man spreads strife and a whisperer separates close friends. 00:18:45.679 --> 00:18:54.299 Satan, in the form of that serpent, was the first to whisper into man's ear and spread deceit to separate the very first friendships that were formed. 00:18:55.439 --> 00:18:57.939 The serpent literally whispered into you's ear. 00:18:57.940 --> 00:19:02.120 Like, why would God not let his friends eat that fruit? 00:19:03.100 --> 00:19:05.100 Why would God not let his friends eat from that tree? 00:19:05.299 --> 00:19:08.080 Can you really trust in God as your friend? 00:19:08.460 --> 00:19:10.500 Was essentially what the serpent was saying to Eve. 00:19:10.860 --> 00:19:14.680 Like, can we trust him as, can you guys trust him as your friend? 00:19:15.460 --> 00:19:18.759 And as a result, Adam and Eve, they ended up not trusting God. 00:19:18.759 --> 00:19:24.200 And they rejected his friendship by eating the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil and rebelling against God's law. 00:19:25.259 --> 00:19:29.859 And we see that in that moment where they eat the fruit, sin enters into the world. 00:19:30.379 --> 00:19:32.480 And sin enters like a poison. 00:19:32.599 --> 00:19:33.259 It just spreads. 00:19:34.180 --> 00:19:36.640 Naked and ashamed, Adam and Eve, they hide from God. 00:19:37.000 --> 00:19:41.420 And then upon being found, Adam immediately goes into a whole blaming game. 00:19:41.900 --> 00:19:44.720 He blames God for giving Eve as a companion. 00:19:44.720 --> 00:19:54.779 He says in Genesis chapter 3 verse 12, the woman whom you gave to me, or sorry, the woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me the fruit of a tree and I ate. 00:19:55.299 --> 00:19:58.620 So automatically, Adam goes into blaming and his sin and pride. 00:19:59.420 --> 00:20:01.360 In fact, Adam, he double blames. 00:20:01.799 --> 00:20:03.559 He blames God for giving him Eve. 00:20:04.039 --> 00:20:06.500 And he also blames Eve as the one who caused him to sin. 00:20:06.880 --> 00:20:11.519 The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me the fruit of the tree. 00:20:11.519 --> 00:20:24.660 And so we see just in this one sentence, sin nefariously isolates and separates the different relationships and friendships between God and Adam and Eve. 00:20:25.319 --> 00:20:28.779 And so it isolated man from God and man from one another. 00:20:29.759 --> 00:20:34.039 Sin turned us from friends to adversaries to God and one another. 00:20:34.039 --> 00:20:43.379 And death ultimately, in both a spiritual and physical sense, became the curse that threatened to eternally separate us and isolate us into loneliness. 00:20:44.980 --> 00:20:47.319 We see in Titus chapter 3 verse 3, 00:20:47.399 --> 00:20:57.619 For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy, hated by others and hating one another. 00:20:58.039 --> 00:21:00.200 That was the reality that we lived in. 00:21:00.200 --> 00:21:08.680 But God, he's so gracious to bring reconciliation and redemption to our damaged friendship through his only son, Jesus. 00:21:09.840 --> 00:21:12.559 And we see that in friendship redeemed by the gospel. 00:21:14.900 --> 00:21:17.519 This is just because our time. 00:21:17.940 --> 00:21:21.819 You look at the Old Testament and it's just depressing, you guys. 00:21:21.819 --> 00:21:27.319 You see time and time again, Israel being like, oh, God, how we need you. 00:21:27.720 --> 00:21:39.000 And then the next second, they're bowing down to a cow or they're bowing down to some other idol or they're doing so many different things that God finds deplorable in his eyes. 00:21:39.759 --> 00:21:43.720 And so that's that's the running theme of Old Testament. 00:21:43.720 --> 00:21:53.220 We see that Israel as a whole is not a good friend to God, even though God is trying to build and cultivate relationships with them. 00:21:54.700 --> 00:22:02.519 But God, he has this plan of redemption, not only to rescue humanity from sin, but to restore our friendship with God and with one another. 00:22:02.620 --> 00:22:04.500 And that's the good news of the gospel. 00:22:04.640 --> 00:22:04.720 Amen. 00:22:04.720 --> 00:22:14.380 We see in the gospel of John, the gospel of John is so nice because John's literally known as the apostle of love because he loves talking about love. 00:22:15.039 --> 00:22:16.200 Anyone see Brooklyn Nine-Nine? 00:22:16.360 --> 00:22:17.400 Terry loves love. 00:22:18.319 --> 00:22:20.319 John loves love, you know. 00:22:20.839 --> 00:22:34.059 And so this entire gospel, it's so it's so rich in its language of talking about how Jesus loves the world, how Jesus restores our friendship with God by first befriending sinners himself. 00:22:34.720 --> 00:22:42.039 And we see a lot of Jesus sort of discussing this with his disciples in the upper room discourse in John chapter 13 to 17. 00:22:42.900 --> 00:22:52.720 And yeah, this entire section, it just contains a whole dearth of Jesus' teachings to his disciples about love and friendship that can only be restored by God himself through Jesus. 00:22:53.740 --> 00:22:57.180 Jesus literally says in John chapter 15, verse 13 to 15, 00:22:57.180 --> 00:23:02.500 Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. 00:23:02.500 --> 00:23:05.400 You are my friends if you do what I command you. 00:23:05.920 --> 00:23:09.559 No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing. 00:23:10.000 --> 00:23:11.380 But I have called you friends. 00:23:12.140 --> 00:23:15.259 For all that I have heard from my father, I have made known to you. 00:23:17.339 --> 00:23:27.660 Jesus calls his disciples his friends, no longer his servants, because he's revealed to them his father's plan of salvation and redemption through Jesus' crucifixion, death, and resurrection. 00:23:27.660 --> 00:23:29.340 And we've seen that through Matthew, right? 00:23:29.400 --> 00:23:33.900 How Jesus continuously tells them, I'm going to die and I'm going to rise again. 00:23:34.120 --> 00:23:41.120 And we see time and time again that the disciples just seem to hyper fixate on, oh my gosh, Jesus is going to die. 00:23:41.119 --> 00:23:45.759 And they don't seem to get the spoiler alert afterwards. 00:23:48.479 --> 00:23:58.859 And yet, Jesus, he continues to remind them that they're his friends, that greater love has no one than this, that someone would lay their life for his friends. 00:23:58.859 --> 00:24:06.639 And this is significant because Jesus' friendship to his disciple, it points to the bigger picture. 00:24:07.419 --> 00:24:18.339 Jesus being able to call his servants his friends, points to God's ultimate plan of restoring his own relationship and his friendship with his people as well. 00:24:18.339 --> 00:24:25.559 And Jesus, he practices exactly what he preaches and reveals what true friendship and true love looks like. 00:24:25.559 --> 00:24:29.539 He shows the greatest love by laying his own life on behalf of his friends. 00:24:30.559 --> 00:24:34.679 That those who were once enemies to God could now be called his friends. 00:24:36.339 --> 00:24:38.419 John chapter 17, verse 26 says, 00:24:38.779 --> 00:24:46.839 I have made known to them your name and I will continue to make it known that the love with which you have loved me may be in them and I in them. 00:24:46.839 --> 00:24:54.159 That eternal fellowship that the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit had eternally before mankind was made. 00:24:55.279 --> 00:25:01.059 It was destroyed and, or that wasn't destroyed, but God's relationship with man was destroyed because of the fall. 00:25:01.480 --> 00:25:07.399 And Jesus' sacrifice is that redemption, that restoration of that relationship again. 00:25:07.720 --> 00:25:15.019 The eternal love and fellowship that God the Father had with Christ the Son now is in the disciples and those who follow Jesus, as Jesus calls them his friends. 00:25:15.019 --> 00:25:43.579 And so, Jesus' sacrifice, death, and resurrection not only restored our vertical relationship with God, 00:25:43.579 --> 00:25:47.559 but it also restored our horizontal relationship with one another. 00:25:48.059 --> 00:25:53.559 Where we were once full of contempt and hatred for one another, Jesus gives his disciples this new command. 00:25:54.699 --> 00:25:58.579 This is my commandment that you love one another as I have loved you. 00:25:58.579 --> 00:26:08.259 This is interesting because we see in the Old Testament just many different instances where, I mean, literally the Ten Commandments, 00:26:08.579 --> 00:26:13.899 if we were to wrap it all together, it's to love God and love one another as yourself. 00:26:14.740 --> 00:26:21.199 But Jesus, he adds, this is my commandment that you love one another as I have loved you. 00:26:21.200 --> 00:26:27.319 If we go back to Matthew chapter 5, the Sermon on the Mount, where Jesus is saying, 00:26:27.960 --> 00:26:31.900 Scripture says, thou shall not murder, but I tell you this, 00:26:32.600 --> 00:26:37.279 even when you look at someone with deep anger or show resentment to them, you are murdering them in your hearts. 00:26:37.600 --> 00:26:43.000 As Jesus raises that bar and that standard, he does the same thing with love your neighbor as yourselves. 00:26:43.140 --> 00:26:44.240 That's the bare minimum now. 00:26:44.240 --> 00:26:52.180 To love one another as Jesus loved us doesn't mean, oh, I'm not going to murder this person because I wouldn't want that done to me, 00:26:52.279 --> 00:26:55.079 or I'm not going to lie to this person because I wouldn't want to be lied to. 00:26:56.099 --> 00:27:02.380 It's now to love one another sacrificially and generously as friends to go beyond that minimum, 00:27:02.579 --> 00:27:05.480 just as Jesus did for us by dying on the cross. 00:27:06.500 --> 00:27:11.839 And this is why Christian friendship is so crucial and sweet to the Christian life. 00:27:11.839 --> 00:27:18.079 There was that J.C. Ryle quote that Nat so graciously shared with us. 00:27:18.339 --> 00:27:25.079 Friendship, it doubles our joys and halves our, was it pain, burden, sorrows, sorrows? 00:27:25.439 --> 00:27:26.539 I think it was sorrows, yeah. 00:27:26.720 --> 00:27:28.240 Halves our troubles and doubles our joys. 00:27:29.740 --> 00:27:33.240 Halves our troubles and doubles our joys. 00:27:34.659 --> 00:27:40.079 We're able to say that because God has redeemed that horizontal relationship amongst us as well. 00:27:40.079 --> 00:27:45.559 There was a time where, like, we would have just been in constant enmity with one another, 00:27:46.079 --> 00:27:52.419 where even when we say we forgive one another, like, there is no guarantee that we have indeed done so. 00:27:53.119 --> 00:27:59.899 But by the blood of Christ, we can say that, like, we are friends and our close relationship with one another 00:27:59.899 --> 00:28:05.359 does indeed help us to double our joys by carrying the burden of one another and halves our troubles in that same way. 00:28:05.359 --> 00:28:10.839 And so this goes into our next section, friendship united in Christ. 00:28:12.259 --> 00:28:17.819 Just a, not a definition, but talking about how friendships are formed. 00:28:18.199 --> 00:28:21.199 Friendships, they're formed on common interests all across the board, 00:28:21.719 --> 00:28:25.839 whether it's sports, hobbies, careers, ideologies. 00:28:25.839 --> 00:28:31.679 Friendships, friendships, they're formed by shared interests that you think you'll bond over. 00:28:32.019 --> 00:28:35.240 Like, I have a bunch of guys here who, we've bonded over basketball. 00:28:36.159 --> 00:28:43.379 I have a bunch of people here who bonded over board games or, what other hobbies are there? 00:28:44.980 --> 00:28:46.319 Basketball and board games. 00:28:49.659 --> 00:28:50.559 Book club. 00:28:50.839 --> 00:28:51.899 Yeah, book club. 00:28:51.900 --> 00:28:53.100 Food. 00:28:53.820 --> 00:28:54.940 Whatever the case is. 00:28:55.120 --> 00:29:01.740 Like, I can't really think of any instance where you can form a friendship without a shared interest. 00:29:02.300 --> 00:29:03.620 Without a common interest. 00:29:05.780 --> 00:29:13.100 And C.S. Lewis, in his book, The Four Loves, he does a great job of sort of nailing that on the head. 00:29:13.900 --> 00:29:16.160 It's a little, he's a little harsh. 00:29:16.320 --> 00:29:17.300 Or maybe he's not harsh. 00:29:17.560 --> 00:29:19.500 He just says that as it is. 00:29:19.500 --> 00:29:20.460 But this is what he says. 00:29:20.460 --> 00:29:25.340 That is why those pathetic people who simply want friends can never make any. 00:29:27.019 --> 00:29:32.620 Where the truthful answer to the question, do you see the same truth, would be, I see nothing and I don't care about the truth. 00:29:32.700 --> 00:29:33.539 I only want a friend. 00:29:34.100 --> 00:29:35.360 No friendship can arise. 00:29:36.480 --> 00:29:38.559 There will be nothing for the friendship to be about. 00:29:39.420 --> 00:29:40.960 And friendship must be about something. 00:29:41.240 --> 00:29:45.600 Even if it were only an enthusiasm for dominoes or white mice. 00:29:45.599 --> 00:29:48.179 Those who have nothing can share nothing. 00:29:48.599 --> 00:29:51.279 Those who are going nowhere can have no fellow travelers. 00:29:51.279 --> 00:29:56.740 Sean does a great job in talking about different types of love. 00:29:57.359 --> 00:30:01.759 And like romantic love is where two people face each other. 00:30:02.879 --> 00:30:05.240 And they share in fellowship with one another in that way. 00:30:05.440 --> 00:30:07.859 Because they have a love for one another. 00:30:08.220 --> 00:30:12.859 But agape, it's when two companions, they look at the same thing together. 00:30:13.099 --> 00:30:15.539 They're standing parallel and they're looking at the same common interest. 00:30:15.539 --> 00:30:16.920 And that's what they bond over. 00:30:17.039 --> 00:30:18.599 That's what they grow their relationship on. 00:30:20.339 --> 00:30:29.139 And obviously, as Christians, as fellow brothers and sisters of Christ, something must be shared in our relationships. 00:30:29.519 --> 00:30:30.799 And it can be basketball. 00:30:30.960 --> 00:30:31.700 It can be board games. 00:30:31.819 --> 00:30:32.359 It can be food. 00:30:32.460 --> 00:30:34.159 It can be book clubs. 00:30:34.539 --> 00:30:37.859 But we as Christians share the most important thing in our lives. 00:30:38.059 --> 00:30:39.119 And that's Jesus. 00:30:39.119 --> 00:30:41.619 We share in our devotion to him. 00:30:41.759 --> 00:30:43.039 We share in our communion with him. 00:30:43.439 --> 00:30:44.419 We share in his mission. 00:30:44.979 --> 00:30:45.899 And we share in his love. 00:30:46.500 --> 00:30:49.879 And so we can find supreme commonality and unity in Jesus. 00:30:50.539 --> 00:30:52.959 And through that, we're able to become friends. 00:30:54.799 --> 00:31:02.159 One of my favorite passages when it comes to seeing friendship like this comes from Acts chapter 4. 00:31:03.399 --> 00:31:05.959 The context of this passage is amazing. 00:31:05.960 --> 00:31:15.400 So after Pentecost, Peter and John, they go into the temple and they see this lame man who is unable to walk. 00:31:15.460 --> 00:31:18.640 And they heal the man in the name of Jesus. 00:31:19.740 --> 00:31:23.940 And the temple officials, the Sadducees, they all see what happened. 00:31:24.360 --> 00:31:28.440 And they see that Peter and John, they're attributing this to the power of the gospel. 00:31:28.799 --> 00:31:29.600 They're preaching the gospel. 00:31:29.980 --> 00:31:32.920 And so they take Peter and John in and start interrogating them. 00:31:32.920 --> 00:31:35.539 And then ultimately, they release them, threatening them. 00:31:35.840 --> 00:31:38.060 Don't you dare preach the gospel ever again. 00:31:39.120 --> 00:31:45.480 And when they're released, Acts chapter 4, verse 23 says that they went to their friends. 00:31:47.080 --> 00:31:51.080 They went to their friends, the other believers, and told them all that had happened. 00:31:51.079 --> 00:31:59.799 And it's so interesting because the author of Acts, Luke, he could have used any other word there. 00:32:00.119 --> 00:32:01.779 He could have said they went to the other believers. 00:32:02.039 --> 00:32:04.240 They went to the other followers of Jesus. 00:32:04.819 --> 00:32:08.139 But Luke decides to use the word friends. 00:32:08.140 --> 00:32:17.600 And I think the rest of this passage shows, can give us a clue as to why exactly he calls them friends. 00:32:18.780 --> 00:32:22.620 Peter and John's friends, they hear of what Peter and John share. 00:32:23.180 --> 00:32:30.080 That they just were threatened to not share Jesus with people, to share the gospel with other people. 00:32:30.079 --> 00:32:36.000 And Peter and John's friends, they respond by joining together and lifting their voices together to God. 00:32:37.319 --> 00:32:39.019 They prayed for Peter and John. 00:32:39.519 --> 00:32:42.579 And they prayed with Peter and John for gospel boldness. 00:32:42.939 --> 00:32:46.220 And as they prayed together, they were all filled with the Holy Spirit. 00:32:46.220 --> 00:32:49.679 And they were all the more empowered and emboldened to speak the word of God. 00:32:50.519 --> 00:32:53.759 And we see in Acts 4, later in verse 32. 00:32:53.759 --> 00:32:57.700 Now the full number of those who believed were of one heart and soul. 00:32:58.579 --> 00:33:01.460 And no one said that any of the things that belonged to him was his own. 00:33:01.720 --> 00:33:03.900 But they had everything in common. 00:33:05.259 --> 00:33:10.140 The early church in Acts, they were united, one heart and soul in Christ. 00:33:10.740 --> 00:33:14.579 And we see that in their joining together in prayer, asking for gospel boldness. 00:33:14.720 --> 00:33:18.079 And because of that, they were knit together as friends. 00:33:18.079 --> 00:33:25.240 And in their response and being knit together as friends, they were able to joyfully and sacrificially care for one another. 00:33:26.960 --> 00:33:28.439 They were able to share. 00:33:29.079 --> 00:33:31.619 And no one said that any of the things that belonged to him was his own. 00:33:31.679 --> 00:33:34.619 They were able to share their belongings with one another. 00:33:35.179 --> 00:33:38.019 And have everything in common with one another. 00:33:38.740 --> 00:33:41.619 They were able to call one another friends because they were truly united in Christ. 00:33:41.960 --> 00:33:44.179 All after the same goal of glorifying God. 00:33:44.579 --> 00:33:46.480 And sharing a gospel-centered life with one another. 00:33:46.480 --> 00:33:50.380 And making disciples of all nations through the proclamation of the word. 00:33:51.759 --> 00:33:57.759 And so, we see that true biblical friendships, they're united in Christ before all else. 00:33:58.160 --> 00:34:00.799 And so, sorry guys, basketball is nice. 00:34:01.099 --> 00:34:03.120 But first, we need to be knit in Christ. 00:34:03.279 --> 00:34:04.220 Board games are nice. 00:34:04.480 --> 00:34:09.340 But we need to first think about how we can honor one another in Christ-centered friendship. 00:34:09.840 --> 00:34:10.119 That way. 00:34:11.199 --> 00:34:13.440 I don't know why I'm looking at you guys with board games. 00:34:13.500 --> 00:34:14.679 We've never played board games together. 00:34:14.679 --> 00:34:17.899 But maybe we should. 00:34:18.299 --> 00:34:19.500 We can make that happen. 00:34:19.500 --> 00:34:24.599 I do want to... 00:34:24.599 --> 00:34:26.340 I should have prefaced this a lot earlier. 00:34:26.579 --> 00:34:34.159 But even though I'm the one sharing this seminar, I feel like I had to fight a lot of imposter syndrome. 00:34:34.500 --> 00:34:35.840 And just bring this up. 00:34:35.920 --> 00:34:40.780 Because in this season of life, I don't feel like I have really any close friends. 00:34:41.119 --> 00:34:42.179 Besides maybe my wife. 00:34:42.179 --> 00:34:48.279 And so, even just like writing this up, I was thinking to myself like... 00:34:48.279 --> 00:34:52.719 Should I be the one like teaching about this? 00:34:52.799 --> 00:35:01.179 When I feel like I haven't been necessarily the best friend or the best person in trying to cultivate and foster close relationships with those around me. 00:35:01.179 --> 00:35:15.219 But honestly, God's been really gracious in also reminding me that like, even if in this season of life, I don't have that, I still have my closeness to the Lord. 00:35:15.679 --> 00:35:22.639 And honestly, he should be the first priority friend that I reach out to and confide in with all these things. 00:35:22.639 --> 00:35:28.719 And so, if any of you guys are also sort of in that season, I'll talk a little bit more about this later. 00:35:28.879 --> 00:35:30.699 But seek out the Lord first. 00:35:30.960 --> 00:35:36.739 And then see how he just grows and cultivates this community around you. 00:35:36.960 --> 00:35:39.779 And like places where you can also grow your friendships. 00:35:41.539 --> 00:35:42.139 And I say this. 00:35:42.859 --> 00:35:46.059 Augustine has a much better way of saying this in his book, Confessions. 00:35:46.339 --> 00:35:48.219 Which I believe I have to quote for you guys as well. 00:35:48.599 --> 00:35:50.799 No friends are true friends unless you, my God. 00:35:50.800 --> 00:35:56.980 Find them fast to one another through that love which is sown in our hearts by the Holy Ghost who has given to us. 00:36:00.620 --> 00:36:09.280 I feel like a lot of my like close Christian friendships, I think without Christ, I don't know if I would have been like friends with them. 00:36:09.280 --> 00:36:16.100 I feel like I'm a, at my core, I'm a very like picky or particular sort of person when it comes to friends. 00:36:16.099 --> 00:36:21.920 And it very much was like that before I like grew, I came to know Christ. 00:36:22.420 --> 00:36:29.880 But it's amazing what the power of the gospel can do in just building friends with people who you would have never imagined being friends with ever before. 00:36:30.279 --> 00:36:32.960 And so, that's the power of the Holy Spirit, you know. 00:36:35.739 --> 00:36:36.360 All right. 00:36:36.799 --> 00:36:39.440 Friendships grow, friendship grows us in Christ. 00:36:39.440 --> 00:36:45.800 So, passages like Acts 4, it also shows us that Christian friendships are a means of grace. 00:36:46.740 --> 00:36:52.820 It's a means of grace for drawing us closer to God and growing to be more like Christ in our sanctification. 00:36:54.420 --> 00:36:57.539 When we pursue true Christian friendship with one another, 00:36:58.139 --> 00:37:04.420 Scripture also indicates that we'll naturally pursue godliness and Christ-likeness as well. 00:37:04.420 --> 00:37:10.579 Three passages that I ended up choosing out were Hebrews 3, Hebrews 10, and 1 Peter 4. 00:37:10.840 --> 00:37:11.960 I'll just read each one of them. 00:37:12.599 --> 00:37:15.480 So, Hebrews 3, verse 12 to 13. 00:37:15.480 --> 00:37:22.180 Take care, brothers, lest there be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart, leading you to fall away from the living God. 00:37:22.800 --> 00:37:30.559 But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called today, that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. 00:37:31.380 --> 00:37:33.579 Hebrews 10, verse 24 to 25. 00:37:34.420 --> 00:37:38.960 And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, 00:37:39.300 --> 00:37:42.180 not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, 00:37:42.480 --> 00:37:46.680 but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the day drawing near. 00:37:47.740 --> 00:37:49.760 And lastly, 1 Peter 4, 8-10. 00:37:49.760 --> 00:37:54.960 Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. 00:37:55.300 --> 00:37:57.619 Show hospitality to one another without grumbling. 00:37:57.619 --> 00:38:04.279 As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another as good stewards of God's very grace. 00:38:04.280 --> 00:38:08.980 In all of these verses, we have this aspect of one another. 00:38:08.980 --> 00:38:15.740 And it's telling us to exhort one another, to encourage one another, to stir up one another, 00:38:15.740 --> 00:38:17.639 to show hospitality to one another. 00:38:17.940 --> 00:38:23.099 In all these things, we also grow in our godliness and in our Christ-likeness. 00:38:23.659 --> 00:38:28.440 That as we do this, we don't grow hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. 00:38:28.440 --> 00:38:31.000 That we grow in our hope of the day that's drawing near. 00:38:31.900 --> 00:38:35.320 That we grow in our extending grace to one another and to ourselves. 00:38:36.039 --> 00:38:38.000 We grow in our gift of hospitality. 00:38:38.559 --> 00:38:44.360 We grow in stewarding the varied measures of God's grace to ourselves. 00:38:44.619 --> 00:38:49.300 And so, in our just cultivating Christian friendship with one another, 00:38:49.519 --> 00:38:51.639 we also just grow in becoming more like Jesus. 00:38:51.860 --> 00:38:54.320 We grow in becoming more godly men and women. 00:38:55.000 --> 00:38:55.920 Tony, you had a question. 00:38:55.920 --> 00:38:58.920 What does it mean for love to cover a multitude of sins? 00:38:59.500 --> 00:39:01.240 Love to cover a multitude of sins? 00:39:01.480 --> 00:39:03.280 In the first piece? 00:39:03.840 --> 00:39:04.059 Mm-hmm. 00:39:06.139 --> 00:39:07.920 Does anyone have an answer for that? 00:39:10.200 --> 00:39:13.059 What does it mean that love covers a multitude of sins? 00:39:16.780 --> 00:39:21.240 A lot of sin comes from a lack of love for your neighbor. 00:39:21.239 --> 00:39:26.119 So, like, being angry that somebody is valuing their life less. 00:39:27.359 --> 00:39:28.879 Which is lack of love. 00:39:29.159 --> 00:39:29.379 Hmm. 00:39:32.019 --> 00:39:34.239 Yeah, I think it is both... 00:39:35.239 --> 00:39:40.239 I think it is both, like... 00:39:40.899 --> 00:39:41.239 It has... 00:39:41.819 --> 00:39:43.679 Love has preventative powers. 00:39:43.679 --> 00:39:45.679 And also... 00:39:46.399 --> 00:39:47.639 I don't... 00:39:47.639 --> 00:39:49.699 It feels weird to call it reactive powers. 00:39:50.879 --> 00:39:51.239 Sure. 00:39:51.460 --> 00:39:54.679 Yeah, like, restoring powers in the sense of, like... 00:39:56.279 --> 00:39:57.000 You're not... 00:39:57.000 --> 00:40:01.279 Like, out of love, you, like, don't spread deceit about someone. 00:40:01.419 --> 00:40:02.679 You don't grow angry with them. 00:40:02.719 --> 00:40:05.539 And that's sort of the preventative so that you do not fall into sin. 00:40:05.619 --> 00:40:07.960 Or you do not cause someone else to stumble in sin. 00:40:07.960 --> 00:40:13.519 But also, if someone does fall into sin against you and offend you, love... 00:40:13.519 --> 00:40:15.980 If you love that person, you'll also forgive them. 00:40:16.099 --> 00:40:21.119 And I think that's sort of also talking about how love covers all sorts of different sins. 00:40:21.220 --> 00:40:23.840 That you would love them so much that you forgive them. 00:40:23.940 --> 00:40:25.500 Knowing that Christ forgave you first. 00:40:25.880 --> 00:40:28.559 So, I think it has sort of that double meaning sense. 00:40:31.500 --> 00:40:33.240 Any other questions before we jump in? 00:40:35.220 --> 00:40:35.699 Cool. 00:40:35.699 --> 00:40:37.699 Yeah, so... 00:40:38.559 --> 00:40:40.000 Sort of like what we were just talking about. 00:40:40.059 --> 00:40:41.159 That aspect of one another. 00:40:41.399 --> 00:40:42.599 It's necessary. 00:40:43.980 --> 00:40:50.439 We can't follow any of these commands in Hebrews or 1 Peter without one another. 00:40:51.139 --> 00:40:52.379 Without having the aspect of one another. 00:40:52.539 --> 00:40:54.859 Who am I going to show grace to if there's no one around me? 00:40:55.119 --> 00:40:55.699 Or if there's... 00:40:56.679 --> 00:40:59.239 Yeah, if I'm not, like, in relationship with anyone. 00:41:00.000 --> 00:41:03.699 Who am I going to love well if... 00:41:03.699 --> 00:41:08.599 If I'm not in relationship or in friendship with one another. 00:41:08.599 --> 00:41:11.299 Like, naturally, because of the fallenness of this world. 00:41:11.420 --> 00:41:12.339 If you're in... 00:41:12.339 --> 00:41:15.579 The deeper you get in, like, relationship and friendship with one another. 00:41:15.980 --> 00:41:19.759 The more, like, uglier and uglier sides of one another. 00:41:19.880 --> 00:41:21.519 You're also going to see patterns of sin. 00:41:21.519 --> 00:41:26.139 Like, tendencies. 00:41:27.079 --> 00:41:27.500 Like, yeah. 00:41:27.860 --> 00:41:31.300 Anger tendencies or tendencies to fall into a certain type of sin. 00:41:31.400 --> 00:41:37.119 Whatever the case is, you'll start to see that more and more as you grow deeper in your friendships with folks. 00:41:37.119 --> 00:41:44.579 And I think that's why it's so important to just remind yourselves that we've been forgiven. 00:41:45.039 --> 00:41:46.779 We ourselves have been forgiven by Jesus. 00:41:47.079 --> 00:41:49.719 And so we can do the same for one another that way. 00:41:49.719 --> 00:42:01.879 And it's through that friendship that's marked by that forgiveness, that extension of grace, that exhortation, encouragement, and loving in a Christ-gloafing way that we ourselves were spiritually strengthened. 00:42:02.299 --> 00:42:04.279 And we're all the more sanctified in Him. 00:42:05.759 --> 00:42:09.359 And so, just to sort of tie all this together. 00:42:09.360 --> 00:42:18.720 I had said this before, but our Christian friendship with one another, it can't be pursued without a close relationship with Christ first. 00:42:19.200 --> 00:42:22.460 It all needs to start from our vertical relationship with the Lord. 00:42:23.360 --> 00:42:29.640 And oftentimes, the vertical relationship will often dictate how our horizontal relationships are as well. 00:42:29.639 --> 00:42:39.539 I can attest to many different times where, because my relationship with God was stale or not in the best of places, 00:42:39.980 --> 00:42:48.659 my relationships with my friendships, just human friendships, have also been not in the best of states as well. 00:42:49.159 --> 00:42:55.819 I think as we just grow in the Lord and ask for Him to bestow unto us the fruits of the Spirit, 00:42:55.820 --> 00:43:02.539 that naturally just pervades to our horizontal relationships as well, and loving our neighbors and our friends as well. 00:43:02.860 --> 00:43:09.000 And so, our friendship with Jesus will help to cultivate and enjoy deep friendship with others. 00:43:09.539 --> 00:43:15.440 Sort of like what I just said, Christ's unconditional love for us, His unconditional love for us, 00:43:15.600 --> 00:43:23.240 it empowers us to love others the same way, no matter how broken, no matter how sin and guilt-driven they may be. 00:43:23.239 --> 00:43:30.619 Jesus' all-sufficient love enables us to love others generously and not selfishly or fearfully. 00:43:32.000 --> 00:43:36.019 Because Jesus' love should be the all-sufficient power in our own lives, 00:43:36.299 --> 00:43:39.639 when we befriend other people, we don't have to do so out of fear of like, 00:43:40.099 --> 00:43:45.319 oh, what if they do me wrong, or what if they don't love me in the same way Jesus does. 00:43:45.320 --> 00:43:50.620 Because that's the great thing, Jesus loves you that much, and He loves you that infinitely, 00:43:51.000 --> 00:43:57.680 that you shouldn't have to hold on to that love so selfishly for yourself. 00:43:58.559 --> 00:44:05.120 And lastly, the sanctification of the Holy Spirit, it transforms us to be people who can genuinely love others in a gospel-centered way. 00:44:05.600 --> 00:44:09.720 When we grow to be more like Jesus, we learn to love people genuinely. 00:44:09.719 --> 00:44:15.819 Not like, oh, I need to be friends with you because we go to the same church or we're in the same small group. 00:44:16.139 --> 00:44:23.939 It genuinely gives us a desire to want to know deeper one another's personal lives, one another's spiritual lives, 00:44:24.339 --> 00:44:29.459 one another's ins and outs and want to care for them well in that way. 00:44:30.059 --> 00:44:32.919 And so, yeah, our friendships start with Jesus. 00:44:33.500 --> 00:44:37.179 He's the founder and perfecter of our faith, and He's our greatest and truest friend. 00:44:37.179 --> 00:44:45.079 And when we reach the end, when all else has faded away, Jesus, He remains as our greatest and truest friend. 00:44:45.679 --> 00:44:51.559 And so, as we continue to think about friendships and relationships around us, 00:44:52.739 --> 00:45:00.079 remember that even human relationships like this, it's from God, and it can only be sustained through Him. 00:45:00.879 --> 00:45:04.719 And we dedicate those friendships and relationships to Him, all things. 00:45:07.179 --> 00:45:07.699 Cool. 00:45:08.460 --> 00:45:15.899 That's sort of the, like, arch, the theological arch that I was talking about in regards to what biblical friendships can look like. 00:45:16.980 --> 00:45:23.179 The next section that I had is titled Miscellaneous, but still very relevant topics. 00:45:23.559 --> 00:45:28.239 And these were sorts of different things that I was thinking about when it comes to friendships 00:45:28.239 --> 00:45:32.879 and questions that people have asked in the past in regards to building friendships. 00:45:35.599 --> 00:45:43.579 I'm happy to sort of start us off, but if anyone has any question about, like, building friendships or friendship in general, 00:45:43.879 --> 00:45:46.359 this is sort of the, like, Q&A discussion type of time. 00:45:46.519 --> 00:45:49.000 And so feel free to just raise your hand and ask away. 00:45:49.000 --> 00:45:49.119 Yeah. 00:45:52.460 --> 00:45:56.519 All of, maybe start us off with just my first point, the practice of encouragement. 00:45:56.960 --> 00:46:06.719 So the reason why I wanted to also share that book on encouragement was because just as friendship has been, like, 00:46:07.280 --> 00:46:11.519 getting more and more distorted in our world and loneliness has been amounting all the more, 00:46:11.519 --> 00:46:17.360 encouragement has also been something that has been slowly waning within our society. 00:46:17.960 --> 00:46:24.900 Like, you go onto social media and whether it's politics or social commentary or even memes, 00:46:25.219 --> 00:46:31.800 like, they've just become more and more sort of demeaning towards people of just trying to, like, 00:46:31.820 --> 00:46:35.019 call people out about things or criticize them for certain actions. 00:46:36.920 --> 00:46:40.980 And I think that also can pervade into our church as well. 00:46:41.519 --> 00:46:51.699 In Jared Mellinger's book, Encouragement, he talks about how he became the head pastor of a very large church down in Philadelphia, 00:46:51.880 --> 00:46:54.320 where all the men are going, actually, next weekend. 00:46:54.780 --> 00:46:58.119 He became the head pastor of that church at 28 years old. 00:46:59.159 --> 00:47:01.420 He was my age when he became the head pastor. 00:47:02.099 --> 00:47:07.900 And during his pastorship, he was given the nickname the Hawk. 00:47:07.900 --> 00:47:07.980 The Hawk. 00:47:09.820 --> 00:47:12.700 The Hawk typically is a pretty cool nickname. 00:47:13.240 --> 00:47:17.760 Like, if you were called the Hawk, like, if you're like, I don't know, it sounds really cool. 00:47:17.980 --> 00:47:19.840 I would want to be called the Hawk. 00:47:19.840 --> 00:47:29.480 But the reason why Jared was called the Hawk was because he had such a critical eye about everything, 00:47:29.920 --> 00:47:35.579 about other people's ministry, about the way deacons and other church leaders were performing, 00:47:36.260 --> 00:47:40.640 about just all the ins and outs of his church ministry. 00:47:40.639 --> 00:47:43.559 And so he just always had, like, critique to give. 00:47:44.000 --> 00:47:45.139 And that's why he was called the Hawk. 00:47:46.619 --> 00:47:54.619 But he said that as he read Acts, in the book of Acts, and saw in Acts 5, Barnabas, the son of encouragement. 00:47:56.779 --> 00:47:58.559 Barnabas's name actually isn't Barnabas. 00:47:58.920 --> 00:47:59.480 It's Joseph. 00:47:59.480 --> 00:48:05.900 But they decided to nickname him Barnabas because he was such an encouraging presence within the early church. 00:48:06.240 --> 00:48:13.639 And we see that because he so readily sold all of his possessions so that he could use it to equip and aid the church. 00:48:13.639 --> 00:48:20.199 I feel like that's something that, like, we in our church can also grow in, 00:48:20.480 --> 00:48:27.319 in just being more encouraging figures and people who desire to give encouragements to one another, 00:48:27.480 --> 00:48:29.519 not for the sake of being encouraging. 00:48:29.719 --> 00:48:34.500 Like, I don't, during passing of the peace, I don't want people to just walk up to each other and be like, 00:48:34.779 --> 00:48:36.199 you're a great greeter. 00:48:36.379 --> 00:48:37.659 You're a great pastor of the peace. 00:48:37.839 --> 00:48:42.779 It's just for the sake of, but, like, actually genuinely seeing evidences of grace 00:48:42.780 --> 00:48:49.840 in one another's life and speaking into it so that the truth can really, like, burst forth and be presented. 00:48:50.760 --> 00:48:57.800 And so that's sort of one of my first tips in talking about friendships and the cultural friendship in our church. 00:48:58.140 --> 00:49:04.980 One thing that we can do is just be a lot more encouraging and be more celebrating of one another's evidences of grace. 00:49:05.420 --> 00:49:09.960 See how God is working in one another's lives and, like, really make an effort to point that out. 00:49:09.960 --> 00:49:15.780 Like most habits, it's gonna, it's like trying to throw a ball with your left hand. 00:49:15.920 --> 00:49:18.599 It's gonna be really awkward at first, unless you're a lefty. 00:49:18.860 --> 00:49:21.699 With your non-dominant hand, it's gonna feel really awkward at first. 00:49:21.940 --> 00:49:27.720 But I think as we continue to, like, cultivate that culture of encouraging one another, 00:49:27.960 --> 00:49:34.500 like, people will, like, receive that well and also learn to, like, give that out as well. 00:49:34.500 --> 00:49:42.960 One of the, like, tips that Jared gives is, like, as you are hanging out with someone and as you guys get ready to depart, 00:49:43.460 --> 00:49:47.559 spend some time at the end of your conversation to just point out an evidence of grace. 00:49:47.780 --> 00:49:50.099 Like, man, I had such a great time talking with you. 00:49:50.260 --> 00:49:54.219 And I'm, like, so thankful for this aspect of what you shared. 00:49:54.260 --> 00:49:58.639 Or I'm so thankful about, like, this character that you showed in our conversation or our time. 00:49:58.639 --> 00:50:02.219 Or I know, like, what struggles you're going through in your life right now. 00:50:02.299 --> 00:50:05.859 And I'm so thankful that you've shown fortitude in this way or all that. 00:50:06.259 --> 00:50:12.359 And, like, I've been trying to make more of an effort to do that when I'm having my one-on-one with, like, friends and whatnot. 00:50:13.319 --> 00:50:18.400 And I think it really does make a big difference in helping us to see that, like, 00:50:18.619 --> 00:50:22.539 our friendships are also built not just for us to enjoy one another, 00:50:22.759 --> 00:50:26.319 but for us to supremely enjoy Christ, you know. 00:50:26.320 --> 00:50:29.360 So that's my spiel on encouragement. 00:50:29.720 --> 00:50:30.519 Definitely read the book. 00:50:30.760 --> 00:50:34.820 I hope this gets, like, passed around the church if possible. 00:50:34.820 --> 00:50:35.420 Yeah.