WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:08.040 It was Shakespeare in Midsummer Night's Dream who said the course of true love never did run 00:00:08.040 --> 00:00:16.559 ! A recognition I imagine we all have that relationship comes, relationships come with challenges and conflicts. 00:00:16.559 --> 00:00:25.519 ! Relationships can get messy, whether that's the fight with our siblings, the misunderstandings that we might have in a marriage, 00:00:25.519 --> 00:00:33.640 whether it's dealing with a difficult colleague or the breakdown of trust and communications that can happen. 00:00:34.560 --> 00:00:42.219 I'm going to recommend a book, it's called Relationships Are Mess Worth Making? written by Timothy Lane and Paul David Tripp. 00:00:42.320 --> 00:00:48.340 And the idea is just that reality that any relationship does involve a level of mess, 00:00:48.340 --> 00:00:56.140 but also those difficult relationships that we have become a chance for us to grow in humility and in understanding 00:00:56.140 --> 00:01:06.000 because God's grace is there to meet us in our mess. It's a really helpful book, I think, in navigating relationships. 00:01:06.460 --> 00:01:12.620 But here in our section on the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus keeps on teaching about relationships. 00:01:12.620 --> 00:01:19.160 He's spoken about how important it is that we know God as our Father in heaven. That's fundamental. 00:01:20.020 --> 00:01:25.060 And then he's gone to speak about our relationship to our money and our possessions, 00:01:25.060 --> 00:01:28.900 and I think we know how important that is for our day-to-day life. 00:01:28.900 --> 00:01:35.740 And now he turns to the crucial question of the relationship we have with the people around us. 00:01:36.600 --> 00:01:42.260 This has always been vital wisdom, and it's absolutely vital wisdom for today. 00:01:42.620 --> 00:01:49.540 We live in the age of loneliness. We live in the age of loneliness. We have a government minister for loneliness. 00:01:50.340 --> 00:01:55.900 We live at a time when online shunning and shaming happens all too readily. 00:01:57.180 --> 00:02:03.659 And so we look for and we long for in the midst of that good health in our relationships. 00:02:04.580 --> 00:02:11.000 That we long for that within our church community here to have good, healthy, growing relationships. 00:02:11.000 --> 00:02:14.960 And in our wider community and circles also. 00:02:17.400 --> 00:02:23.139 You probably noticed as the section that Jesus was teaching draws to a close, 00:02:23.699 --> 00:02:25.819 we have what's become known as the golden rule. 00:02:25.919 --> 00:02:29.759 In everything, do to others what you would have them do to you. 00:02:30.280 --> 00:02:34.939 Now, I imagine we could share that idea with anyone, and they would admire it absolutely. 00:02:34.939 --> 00:02:40.639 But ask us to try and achieve it, and we understand how much harder that is to do. 00:02:41.539 --> 00:02:50.340 It's been interesting in history that philosophers, like the Chinese philosopher Confucius, or Kant in the Enlightenment, 00:02:50.579 --> 00:02:54.819 and probably every parent ever has kind of adapted the golden rule. 00:02:55.400 --> 00:02:56.579 You know, we say to our kids, 00:02:56.580 --> 00:03:01.600 Well, if you don't want them to be mean to you, you don't be mean to them. 00:03:02.060 --> 00:03:07.380 And that's really good wisdom, but it's more silver rule than golden rule. 00:03:07.980 --> 00:03:13.040 So what we typically do is we make this rule more passive and more limited. 00:03:13.160 --> 00:03:16.700 Well, let's think about what we won't do to upset someone else. 00:03:16.700 --> 00:03:17.939 But what does Jesus do? 00:03:18.100 --> 00:03:19.400 He makes it active. 00:03:19.600 --> 00:03:24.260 He talks about what positive good, what love can I bring for the sake of someone else? 00:03:24.259 --> 00:03:26.280 What good would I want? 00:03:27.079 --> 00:03:29.439 Let me positively seek to do it to them. 00:03:30.819 --> 00:03:35.959 So it's one of these summaries, I think, that Jesus gives of God's law and of God's will. 00:03:37.280 --> 00:03:38.959 Love your neighbor as yourself. 00:03:40.599 --> 00:03:44.500 Be a good Samaritan to whomever you meet. 00:03:45.579 --> 00:03:50.019 And as we listen in, we recognize that what Jesus teaches for our relationships, 00:03:50.180 --> 00:03:51.659 it is going to be demanding. 00:03:51.659 --> 00:03:57.800 It is calling us to a selflessness, which is sacrificial. 00:03:58.280 --> 00:04:01.379 But wonderfully, Jesus is speaking to people within his kingdom. 00:04:01.840 --> 00:04:05.379 And within the kingdom of God, with God's help, this is doable. 00:04:06.419 --> 00:04:10.639 Not that we'll be able to do it perfectly, but we truly can do good to others. 00:04:10.759 --> 00:04:18.939 We truly can grow health in our relationships, both with one another and with our God. 00:04:18.939 --> 00:04:20.860 So that's what we're going to think about today. 00:04:20.959 --> 00:04:26.719 We're going to think about the path to follow in our relationships, looking at those first six verses. 00:04:27.259 --> 00:04:33.459 We're going to think about the power for healthy relationships in verses 7 to 11. 00:04:33.920 --> 00:04:39.000 And then we're going to look at the picture portrait of loving, healthy relationships as we have it in verse 12. 00:04:39.000 --> 00:04:44.019 So we begin thinking about the path to follow in our relationships. 00:04:44.740 --> 00:04:50.980 Whenever we are navigating, maybe some of you have moved to the city quite recently, 00:04:51.220 --> 00:04:53.300 or maybe you've been on holiday recently. 00:04:53.399 --> 00:05:00.920 Whenever you're navigating somewhere that's new, you're looking for either road signs or maybe key landmarks. 00:05:00.920 --> 00:05:06.699 So maybe you've already figured out that the castle or Arthur's seat, really good landmarks for getting around the city. 00:05:06.699 --> 00:05:10.920 Some way to navigate and figure out, am I going in the right direction? 00:05:11.039 --> 00:05:17.379 Well, in the same way as you and I are seeking to navigate our relationships, 00:05:17.519 --> 00:05:20.039 and sometimes they're complicated and sometimes they're messy, 00:05:20.699 --> 00:05:22.379 Jesus gives us these road signs. 00:05:23.219 --> 00:05:25.219 He gives us a road map to follow. 00:05:25.339 --> 00:05:28.399 He gives us pointers that we can look at and think about, 00:05:28.399 --> 00:05:33.199 am I heading on the king's highway of wisdom or not? 00:05:33.199 --> 00:05:37.740 And let me encourage you, as we begin to think about these signs, 00:05:37.819 --> 00:05:39.599 that you're asking yourself that question. 00:05:39.699 --> 00:05:40.860 Think about your relationships. 00:05:41.500 --> 00:05:44.159 Is that relationship heading in a right direction? 00:05:44.939 --> 00:05:46.339 Maybe what would others say about that? 00:05:47.180 --> 00:05:51.240 Because Jesus wants us to reflect, and he wants us to know there is help for us, 00:05:51.759 --> 00:05:52.779 there is wisdom for us. 00:05:52.779 --> 00:05:55.300 Should I keep going with the way that I've been going, 00:05:55.419 --> 00:05:57.259 or is there something that needs to change? 00:05:57.319 --> 00:05:58.639 Is it time for a U-turn? 00:05:58.639 --> 00:06:04.979 So what are these signs that Jesus gives on the path of healthy relationships? 00:06:05.159 --> 00:06:06.599 There are three that we can see. 00:06:07.300 --> 00:06:14.759 One is generosity, one is humility, and one is discernment. 00:06:15.699 --> 00:06:17.159 So we begin with generosity. 00:06:17.259 --> 00:06:18.439 Look at the first couple of verses. 00:06:18.439 --> 00:06:22.819 Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 00:06:23.560 --> 00:06:27.039 In the same way as you judge others, you will be judged. 00:06:27.040 --> 00:06:33.060 It's interesting, chapter 7 begins a new focus on the character and the nature of our God. 00:06:33.200 --> 00:06:35.720 In chapter 5, very much God as king. 00:06:35.819 --> 00:06:37.120 Chapter 6, God as father. 00:06:37.240 --> 00:06:42.020 Chapter 7, there's a great emphasis on Jesus speaking about God as the judge. 00:06:42.660 --> 00:06:46.580 And the fact that God is judge should influence how we live, 00:06:46.620 --> 00:06:48.360 and that should affect our relationships. 00:06:49.080 --> 00:06:52.939 But also Jesus is recognizing what happens in human relationships. 00:06:52.939 --> 00:07:00.980 The measure that we dish out to someone else is most likely the same measure that's going to come back to us, 00:07:01.540 --> 00:07:03.639 for good or for ill. 00:07:04.800 --> 00:07:06.639 But Jesus is saying, do not judge. 00:07:06.680 --> 00:07:08.480 So he's talking about a negative attitude. 00:07:09.579 --> 00:07:10.659 Let's think about what he means. 00:07:10.740 --> 00:07:12.839 But first of all, let's think about what he doesn't mean, 00:07:12.959 --> 00:07:14.519 because we could easily get this wrong. 00:07:15.000 --> 00:07:19.139 Jesus is not saying that you and I should never judge what is right and wrong, 00:07:19.199 --> 00:07:20.639 or what's good and evil. 00:07:20.639 --> 00:07:25.000 So, you can just go to verse 15, and we see that. 00:07:25.259 --> 00:07:27.620 He says, watch out for false prophets. 00:07:28.300 --> 00:07:31.360 Or verse 6, do not give dogs what is sacred. 00:07:31.439 --> 00:07:35.759 There's obviously times where we have to judge on what we should do, what we shouldn't do. 00:07:36.399 --> 00:07:44.439 Likewise, Jesus is not saying that you and I as Christians should never lovingly correct another brother or sister. 00:07:44.979 --> 00:07:46.699 So look at the end of verse 5. 00:07:46.699 --> 00:07:53.620 He talks about removing a plank, then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye. 00:07:53.659 --> 00:07:56.860 In other words, there are times when we should correct. 00:07:57.920 --> 00:08:00.019 So what is Jesus saying we shouldn't do? 00:08:00.860 --> 00:08:06.439 Well, there's a particular type of judging, which we might call being judgmental. 00:08:06.439 --> 00:08:14.519 We shouldn't claim authority over someone else in a way that we are critical towards them, 00:08:14.699 --> 00:08:16.600 we are demanding of them. 00:08:16.800 --> 00:08:21.040 It's our instinct to be fault-finding towards others. 00:08:22.800 --> 00:08:29.259 Instead, we should follow the pattern that God sets, and we should practice generosity. 00:08:29.259 --> 00:08:33.980 We should give one another the benefit of the doubt. 00:08:35.740 --> 00:08:37.759 We don't want to throw shade on others. 00:08:37.840 --> 00:08:42.980 We don't want to assume the worst of others in their motivations. 00:08:44.259 --> 00:08:50.240 Somebody has said, assumptions are the termites of relationships. 00:08:50.240 --> 00:08:57.940 If we make negative assumptions and assessments, it is always going to be destructive. 00:08:58.720 --> 00:09:05.360 And so when Jesus says, do not judge, he wants us in our relationships to give the other person freedom. 00:09:06.620 --> 00:09:12.159 Don't keep the other person in fear of the next tongue lashing or criticism. 00:09:12.159 --> 00:09:20.319 Practice generosity that gives freedom for trust to be established, for patience to be shown. 00:09:21.679 --> 00:09:23.939 There's one signpost for healthy relationships. 00:09:24.120 --> 00:09:25.339 We're practicing generosity. 00:09:25.459 --> 00:09:26.079 Here's another one. 00:09:26.600 --> 00:09:27.639 It's humility. 00:09:27.740 --> 00:09:31.799 And that takes us to the picture of verses 3 to 5. 00:09:31.879 --> 00:09:34.779 And here, Jesus uses comedy, irony. 00:09:35.019 --> 00:09:41.299 Here is the hypocrite, the play actor on stage, and he's taking a certain role. 00:09:41.299 --> 00:09:44.419 And this role is of the perfect person. 00:09:45.039 --> 00:09:46.959 Somebody who has no faults. 00:09:47.639 --> 00:09:49.299 Somebody who has perfect wisdom. 00:09:49.859 --> 00:09:56.799 Someone who feels that they can be the final authority on someone else's behavior and actions. 00:09:56.859 --> 00:10:02.699 They're always ready to spot the speck in someone else's life at 100 yards. 00:10:02.879 --> 00:10:05.219 Always trying to fix others. 00:10:05.219 --> 00:10:07.120 But what's the massive problem? 00:10:07.120 --> 00:10:16.340 As Jesus tells this little story, the person who claims that perfect perspective has got the massive log sticking out of his eye. 00:10:16.340 --> 00:10:29.700 It is easy for us to be desensitized to our own sins and to be hypersensitive to the sins that we see in others. 00:10:30.620 --> 00:10:37.820 It is all too easy to play the hypocrite where I'm not really dealing with my own sin problem, 00:10:38.560 --> 00:10:42.980 but I'm really happy to diagnose and perform surgery on yours. 00:10:42.980 --> 00:10:45.560 It's the problem of pride. 00:10:47.019 --> 00:10:53.399 And we recognize that an armchair critic on someone else's life does not make for a great friend. 00:10:55.240 --> 00:11:02.080 There's a lack of mercy, a lack of patience, a tendency to make mountains out of molehills. 00:11:02.080 --> 00:11:08.000 And so, you and I, Jesus says, we need not hypocrisy but humility. 00:11:09.100 --> 00:11:10.720 To own our own sin. 00:11:11.580 --> 00:11:13.980 To deal with our own failings first. 00:11:14.440 --> 00:11:17.560 To recognize that we always need mercy. 00:11:18.220 --> 00:11:20.560 That yes, we can help others. 00:11:20.780 --> 00:11:26.120 And actually, we should always want to help others, but because we love them, not from a position of pride. 00:11:26.120 --> 00:11:34.720 We should move towards someone to care for them because we want to help not to boost our egos or to tear them down. 00:11:34.820 --> 00:11:35.620 So, we need humility. 00:11:36.960 --> 00:11:41.200 And then there's this third signpost, a bit more unusual, verse 6. 00:11:41.299 --> 00:11:42.120 We need discernment. 00:11:43.700 --> 00:11:49.279 So, Jesus says there, do not give dogs what is sacred and do not throw your pearls to pigs. 00:11:49.519 --> 00:11:52.720 If you do, they may trample them underfoot and turn and tear you to pieces. 00:11:52.720 --> 00:12:00.440 So, Jesus takes two ancient proverbs and he gives them to the people and they have a very similar point. 00:12:01.560 --> 00:12:07.879 And the similar point is that there are certain actions that are just known to be inappropriate. 00:12:09.259 --> 00:12:11.000 Perhaps to help us in our own day. 00:12:11.120 --> 00:12:18.300 You know, you wouldn't invite, as much as we care for our dogs, we wouldn't invite them to sit with us at the dinner table. 00:12:18.299 --> 00:12:20.599 Or even to sit on the dinner table. 00:12:20.799 --> 00:12:24.399 Or we wouldn't present a pig with a pearl necklace. 00:12:24.539 --> 00:12:29.099 We understand instinctively there are certain actions that are inappropriate. 00:12:30.079 --> 00:12:34.159 You don't mix holy and unholy is the kind of picture here. 00:12:34.459 --> 00:12:40.679 And Jesus is saying at a general level, there is a wisdom, there is a discernment that you and I need 00:12:40.679 --> 00:12:45.339 for what we should and what we shouldn't do in each of our relationships. 00:12:45.340 --> 00:12:49.440 And maybe we're new as Christians. 00:12:50.100 --> 00:12:57.560 And we're beginning to understand, oh, there's stuff that I need to avoid in my friendships now that I'm a Christian. 00:12:58.019 --> 00:13:02.300 There are things that I used to do that now I don't want to do because I know it would invite trouble. 00:13:03.840 --> 00:13:07.000 So, generally speaking, we need that discernment and wisdom. 00:13:07.000 --> 00:13:12.820 But I think Jesus has in mind here, remember he's speaking to disciples, people in his kingdom. 00:13:12.980 --> 00:13:15.440 There's a specific teaching going on here. 00:13:16.259 --> 00:13:20.559 In the mission of Jesus, and we see this in the disciples, 00:13:21.879 --> 00:13:24.539 whenever we are sharing the good news, 00:13:25.500 --> 00:13:27.700 whenever we are telling people about Jesus, 00:13:27.700 --> 00:13:30.620 some people will choose to resist. 00:13:31.860 --> 00:13:38.879 And some people might even become hostile to the good news and those who bring that good news. 00:13:39.540 --> 00:13:46.040 There will always be some people who will turn their back on God's Savior, 00:13:46.460 --> 00:13:50.879 who will want to avoid God's message of salvation, of forgiveness and love, 00:13:50.879 --> 00:13:58.460 and would like to make trouble cause suffering to the person who talks to them about Jesus. 00:14:00.779 --> 00:14:05.799 And what we see in the Gospels and also in the book of Acts is that in extreme cases, 00:14:05.799 --> 00:14:10.019 when that happens, when there is deliberate hostile rejection, 00:14:11.419 --> 00:14:12.779 to use the language of the Bible, 00:14:13.340 --> 00:14:19.340 there are times when the disciples shake the dust off their feet and move on to another plane. 00:14:20.879 --> 00:14:24.240 There has to be a discernment. 00:14:25.399 --> 00:14:30.000 Jesus doesn't call us to be stormtroopers in the kingdom of God, 00:14:30.379 --> 00:14:33.500 enforcing the good news on people. 00:14:34.320 --> 00:14:37.299 I think that's one of the reasons why the suffering church, 00:14:38.860 --> 00:14:40.879 where there's real intense suffering, 00:14:41.600 --> 00:14:43.899 they often pray, give me wisdom today. 00:14:45.580 --> 00:14:47.440 And who should I share Jesus with? 00:14:47.440 --> 00:14:52.000 Who should I be careful about sharing Jesus with? 00:14:54.000 --> 00:14:57.500 Our relationships, Jesus is saying, need discernment. 00:14:57.560 --> 00:15:01.340 They need wisdom to sense motives, to sense attitudes, 00:15:01.340 --> 00:15:05.580 to understand who should I invest time in. 00:15:06.040 --> 00:15:11.100 And so Jesus gives us these three signs to help us to ask ourselves the question, 00:15:11.220 --> 00:15:13.960 are my relationships on the right track? 00:15:13.960 --> 00:15:19.840 As you reflect on some of the people in your lives and your dealings with them, 00:15:19.900 --> 00:15:23.200 am I generous in how I treat them, 00:15:24.400 --> 00:15:26.560 how I treat perhaps the other members of this church? 00:15:27.340 --> 00:15:32.800 Am I humble enough within my circles to see my own faults 00:15:32.800 --> 00:15:34.920 and to be dealing with them most of all? 00:15:35.639 --> 00:15:38.920 Am I exercising biblical wisdom in my behavior? 00:15:38.919 --> 00:15:51.240 Am I saying, are there warning signs that in my attitudes, 00:15:51.339 --> 00:15:53.319 I might actually be making a relationship worse? 00:15:54.419 --> 00:15:57.299 Or positively, if I was to apply these principles, 00:15:57.699 --> 00:16:00.199 by God's grace, can I see progress? 00:16:00.200 --> 00:16:06.780 Because what Jesus wants is he wants for his people and he wants for his church 00:16:06.780 --> 00:16:14.040 and he wants for this church to be a place full of healing and full of hope, 00:16:14.960 --> 00:16:18.040 full of trust and patience and mercy and kindness. 00:16:18.940 --> 00:16:22.180 Because that's a wonderful community to be a part of. 00:16:22.620 --> 00:16:26.200 And it's a wonderful way to show to our very fractured society, 00:16:26.200 --> 00:16:32.440 society, here's the difference, here's the goodness of what Jesus has come to bring. 00:16:34.640 --> 00:16:38.460 When we are combining grace and mercy, 00:16:39.300 --> 00:16:43.900 when we're combining truth and love in our family and our friendship, 00:16:44.840 --> 00:16:50.759 we're encouraged to recognize that we are walking on the King's wisdom highway. 00:16:50.759 --> 00:16:54.019 So that's the path for our relationships. 00:16:54.179 --> 00:17:01.899 But let's move from there to think about the power that we need for these healthy relationships. 00:17:03.240 --> 00:17:06.539 Because I imagine we're feeling a sense of tension. 00:17:08.400 --> 00:17:12.859 In our summer holidays, we rediscovered a love for e-bikes. 00:17:13.559 --> 00:17:17.259 Some of us have been on e-bikes and enjoyed just being able to zip around. 00:17:17.359 --> 00:17:18.240 It's nice and easy. 00:17:18.240 --> 00:17:23.039 We like to go to a place called Biarritz and you can get an e-bike really easily. 00:17:23.200 --> 00:17:28.500 You can put a passenger on the back and it's great fun, great way to explore the city until, 00:17:29.259 --> 00:17:31.079 if you've had an e-bike, you might have had this moment. 00:17:31.160 --> 00:17:32.880 It's great fun until the battery dies. 00:17:33.740 --> 00:17:36.079 And then it becomes torture. 00:17:36.539 --> 00:17:42.299 And it can also become torture if you're trying to use the wrong power setting. 00:17:43.000 --> 00:17:46.900 So these wonderful e-bikes that we like, you can go solo if you're just one of you. 00:17:46.900 --> 00:17:49.780 But if there's two of you, you need the dual mode. 00:17:49.860 --> 00:17:50.880 You need the extra boost. 00:17:51.120 --> 00:17:57.900 But if you forget to press that button and you're trying to get up a steep hill, again, it is torture. 00:17:59.600 --> 00:18:07.920 There are times, perhaps even now, when some of our relationships feel like that. 00:18:07.920 --> 00:18:12.400 Where we recognize, this is not the way I want it to be. 00:18:13.200 --> 00:18:14.880 But we're struggling uphill. 00:18:15.180 --> 00:18:19.480 We're struggling to see where change might come from. 00:18:20.440 --> 00:18:22.259 As people, we are complex. 00:18:22.560 --> 00:18:24.060 As people, we are sinful. 00:18:24.480 --> 00:18:28.019 We can be so quick to jump to wrong conclusions, to assume the worst. 00:18:28.100 --> 00:18:30.039 We've said, we've done the wrong things. 00:18:30.039 --> 00:18:31.740 There's mess. 00:18:33.500 --> 00:18:34.639 How do we change? 00:18:35.720 --> 00:18:36.839 How do we fix it? 00:18:37.940 --> 00:18:40.440 And so often, we can find ourselves powerless. 00:18:40.579 --> 00:18:41.839 How will I keep going? 00:18:42.200 --> 00:18:44.839 Our emotional battery, perhaps, feels drained. 00:18:45.299 --> 00:18:46.899 We can feel stuck. 00:18:49.019 --> 00:18:54.460 And again, if that's you, there is hope here from Jesus. 00:18:54.460 --> 00:18:59.900 Because right at the center of his teaching, he's going to remind us that the power that you and I need, 00:18:59.980 --> 00:19:03.539 the grace that we need, the wisdom we need, the help and mercy we need, 00:19:03.940 --> 00:19:05.759 it actually doesn't come from inside of us. 00:19:05.799 --> 00:19:07.180 It comes from outside of ourselves. 00:19:07.340 --> 00:19:10.160 It comes from our Father in heaven. 00:19:11.620 --> 00:19:17.100 A Father in heaven who is generous and who loves to give good gifts. 00:19:18.579 --> 00:19:21.539 Jesus has already spoken about his Father as the great King. 00:19:21.539 --> 00:19:27.700 He is a great King with a great, huge amount of treasure, and he loves to share that treasure. 00:19:29.379 --> 00:19:35.839 He is the God of grace who has provision to meet us in our mess and to help us, 00:19:36.240 --> 00:19:40.819 so that with him we really can change and our relationships can change. 00:19:40.920 --> 00:19:43.960 We can find health and goodness. 00:19:43.960 --> 00:19:50.880 Jesus teaches us about our Father in heaven. 00:19:51.640 --> 00:19:54.480 Right in the middle of this teaching on healthy relationships. 00:19:54.480 --> 00:19:57.220 Because if we want true health, 00:19:58.059 --> 00:20:03.160 we want, first of all, to get right our relationship with our God and Father. 00:20:03.759 --> 00:20:07.160 To let him help us in all our other relationships. 00:20:07.880 --> 00:20:10.120 Notice the two things that Jesus says 00:20:10.120 --> 00:20:13.059 that we should do and what we should know about our Father. 00:20:13.059 --> 00:20:17.319 First, we should come open-handed and empty-handed to our Father in heaven. 00:20:18.059 --> 00:20:19.859 Ask and it will be given to you, verse 7. 00:20:20.019 --> 00:20:21.159 Seek and you will find. 00:20:21.720 --> 00:20:23.119 Knock and the door will be opened. 00:20:23.759 --> 00:20:25.339 For everyone who asks receives. 00:20:25.419 --> 00:20:26.500 The one who seeks finds. 00:20:26.659 --> 00:20:29.000 And to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. 00:20:30.839 --> 00:20:34.159 Jesus taking us to a familiar picture of a child, perhaps, 00:20:34.259 --> 00:20:36.139 who really needs and wants something. 00:20:36.819 --> 00:20:39.519 There is a determination in the asking, 00:20:39.700 --> 00:20:41.059 a determination that grows. 00:20:41.059 --> 00:20:41.779 It grows. 00:20:42.159 --> 00:20:45.099 I really want this, and so I'm not going to give up. 00:20:46.919 --> 00:20:51.460 And Jesus says, as children of our Father in heaven, 00:20:51.619 --> 00:20:54.519 we should ask this way for two reasons. 00:20:54.619 --> 00:20:56.879 One, because we really need something. 00:20:57.139 --> 00:21:00.159 And two, because we have a Father who really wants to give it to us. 00:21:01.159 --> 00:21:05.359 We really do need in our relationships the help and the wisdom of our God. 00:21:05.359 --> 00:21:09.179 We really do need the grace of our God. 00:21:09.379 --> 00:21:13.419 When we go into that conversation, we need to know and to be guided. 00:21:13.479 --> 00:21:14.500 What's the right thing to say? 00:21:15.219 --> 00:21:18.359 If we're meeting a family member after we've had a falling out, 00:21:18.419 --> 00:21:21.939 we need to know, how can I make those movements towards reconciliation? 00:21:21.940 --> 00:21:25.000 So we ask, we seek, we knock. 00:21:25.980 --> 00:21:28.160 Someone calls this the beggar's logic. 00:21:29.100 --> 00:21:31.380 We come with nothing except our need, 00:21:32.100 --> 00:21:35.240 but we know we come to the King who has everything. 00:21:36.160 --> 00:21:38.779 And when we do, we discover He's our loving Father 00:21:38.779 --> 00:21:42.400 who wants to meet with us and to help us. 00:21:43.080 --> 00:21:44.440 So we come open-handed. 00:21:44.440 --> 00:21:48.460 But secondly, we come and ask because our Father is generous and good. 00:21:48.539 --> 00:21:52.640 And that's the point of those dinner table pictures. 00:21:53.220 --> 00:21:55.460 You know, there's those two meals we're never going to serve up. 00:21:55.580 --> 00:21:59.200 We're never going to serve a stone or a snake to someone who's hungry. 00:22:01.420 --> 00:22:04.039 Even though we're not perfect, we understand that. 00:22:04.320 --> 00:22:07.720 We understand what it looks like to care for someone else. 00:22:08.180 --> 00:22:10.640 And Jesus applies the how much more logic. 00:22:10.640 --> 00:22:13.640 If you then know how to give good gifts, 00:22:13.740 --> 00:22:17.040 how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts 00:22:17.040 --> 00:22:20.500 to those who ask Him, to those who ask Him? 00:22:20.940 --> 00:22:23.240 So we need to know the character of our God, 00:22:23.280 --> 00:22:26.400 and then we need to ask and seek and knock. 00:22:26.460 --> 00:22:29.840 The book of James says we need to ask with faith, 00:22:30.720 --> 00:22:33.040 to believe that He will answer, 00:22:33.780 --> 00:22:37.280 to believe that He does want to give what is best for our lives. 00:22:37.279 --> 00:22:42.440 He is a Father who cares. 00:22:43.460 --> 00:22:46.220 And He cares about our relationships. 00:22:47.500 --> 00:22:49.079 And He can help. 00:22:49.579 --> 00:22:51.059 And He does want to help. 00:22:51.399 --> 00:22:54.440 And He does want to give us the power to build good friendships. 00:22:55.319 --> 00:22:57.660 And so we come and we ask on that basis, 00:22:57.779 --> 00:23:00.180 knowing He has power and He has love, 00:23:00.619 --> 00:23:01.660 to help us. 00:23:01.660 --> 00:23:07.800 So the power that we need for healthy relationships that we long for 00:23:07.800 --> 00:23:09.440 doesn't ultimately come from ourselves. 00:23:09.519 --> 00:23:12.440 It comes from our Father. 00:23:13.519 --> 00:23:17.360 And then as we close, let's go back to verse 12, 00:23:18.279 --> 00:23:22.220 where we're given the picture of healthy, loving relationships. 00:23:22.440 --> 00:23:23.700 What does it look like? 00:23:24.080 --> 00:23:29.160 In everything, do to others what you would have them do to you. 00:23:29.160 --> 00:23:30.840 For this sums up the law and the prophets. 00:23:30.960 --> 00:23:32.540 What does it look like to love our neighbor? 00:23:33.120 --> 00:23:36.360 Do to others what you would have them do to you. 00:23:37.019 --> 00:23:39.840 Some of us, I know, enjoy jigsaw puzzles. 00:23:40.980 --> 00:23:43.560 There's a great sense of satisfaction on working on a puzzle, 00:23:43.660 --> 00:23:44.340 completing a puzzle. 00:23:44.420 --> 00:23:48.500 But imagine doing something bigger than a children's puzzle. 00:23:48.680 --> 00:23:51.259 Imagine doing a 500 or a 1,000-piece puzzle 00:23:51.259 --> 00:23:54.019 without ever having seen the picture on the box. 00:23:55.060 --> 00:23:57.160 You know, pick any piece you like, 00:23:57.160 --> 00:24:01.640 and you're going to have no clue where that piece is going to fit 00:24:01.640 --> 00:24:03.200 because you don't know what the big picture is. 00:24:03.220 --> 00:24:05.660 You don't know how to build the connections 00:24:05.660 --> 00:24:09.259 if you don't have a sense of the big picture. 00:24:12.240 --> 00:24:14.279 Perhaps that image captures in a way 00:24:14.279 --> 00:24:17.600 some of the confusion many people feel about relationships. 00:24:17.599 --> 00:24:23.319 Maybe you've heard, you know, through school, 00:24:23.879 --> 00:24:25.740 through culture, the message, you know, 00:24:25.779 --> 00:24:29.339 the most important thing is be true to yourself. 00:24:30.039 --> 00:24:30.759 You know, you do you. 00:24:30.819 --> 00:24:32.119 That's the most important thing, 00:24:32.599 --> 00:24:34.579 is make sure that you're happy. 00:24:35.000 --> 00:24:35.859 Love yourself. 00:24:36.159 --> 00:24:37.859 You know, and if we have those messages, 00:24:37.939 --> 00:24:39.659 and if everyone in this room was to do that, 00:24:39.719 --> 00:24:40.419 do you know what would happen? 00:24:40.420 --> 00:24:43.279 We'd all end up really isolated. 00:24:46.960 --> 00:24:50.519 We would give up on one another when things get tough. 00:24:51.759 --> 00:24:55.360 If I make it my aim to just live for my own personal happiness 00:24:55.360 --> 00:24:57.460 without reference to the wider community, 00:24:57.460 --> 00:25:00.460 I will make a mess of my relationships. 00:25:01.360 --> 00:25:03.940 And so lots of people are hearing these messages, 00:25:04.519 --> 00:25:06.460 but then sort of living with this confusion. 00:25:06.460 --> 00:25:07.720 It doesn't really fit. 00:25:07.759 --> 00:25:11.299 It doesn't connect with building good, healthy relationships. 00:25:11.460 --> 00:25:14.299 We need the big picture, 00:25:15.539 --> 00:25:18.160 a guide to give us clarity 00:25:18.160 --> 00:25:21.200 so that we know, 00:25:21.860 --> 00:25:23.640 yes, relationships are really hard, 00:25:24.720 --> 00:25:25.980 but as that book reminds us, 00:25:26.259 --> 00:25:29.140 relationships are a mess worth making. 00:25:29.860 --> 00:25:32.000 And so Jesus, in His perfect wisdom, 00:25:32.000 --> 00:25:34.380 gives us the golden rule, 00:25:34.380 --> 00:25:39.020 this beautiful positive picture of unlimited love, 00:25:39.780 --> 00:25:42.860 and He demonstrates it in His own life as well. 00:25:44.400 --> 00:25:46.240 But recognize what's come before. 00:25:47.060 --> 00:25:48.160 This all begins, 00:25:48.280 --> 00:25:49.940 the picture of loving others well, 00:25:50.000 --> 00:25:52.940 it begins with the Father's love. 00:25:54.260 --> 00:25:56.900 It begins with receiving. 00:25:57.860 --> 00:26:00.620 God has freely, generously, 00:26:00.619 --> 00:26:05.000 patiently poured out His love on you. 00:26:05.539 --> 00:26:08.279 He has sent the Son to rescue us 00:26:08.279 --> 00:26:10.379 from our self-centered pride 00:26:10.379 --> 00:26:14.239 so that flowing from that 00:26:14.239 --> 00:26:17.699 might come love, goodness, and kindness towards others. 00:26:19.059 --> 00:26:22.879 Since I have received so much, 00:26:23.599 --> 00:26:25.279 I want to do good to others. 00:26:25.279 --> 00:26:28.619 We can't do this by ourselves. 00:26:28.740 --> 00:26:33.420 We need the power of the love of our God and Father. 00:26:35.799 --> 00:26:37.700 It takes us to the beauty of the gospel. 00:26:37.920 --> 00:26:38.599 You know, in the gospel, 00:26:38.740 --> 00:26:40.980 we discover this wonderful message 00:26:40.980 --> 00:26:42.259 that Jesus has been teaching us 00:26:42.259 --> 00:26:43.680 of the King who is our Father, 00:26:43.879 --> 00:26:46.299 who pours out His treasure on us. 00:26:46.339 --> 00:26:47.420 And the greatest gift, 00:26:47.519 --> 00:26:48.899 the greatest treasure He gives 00:26:48.899 --> 00:26:50.460 is His own Son 00:26:50.460 --> 00:26:52.100 to be our Savior, 00:26:52.519 --> 00:26:53.420 to show us, 00:26:53.480 --> 00:26:55.420 to demonstrate to us 00:26:55.420 --> 00:26:57.400 what perfect love looks like. 00:27:02.500 --> 00:27:04.819 And as He does so, 00:27:06.600 --> 00:27:08.880 and as God the Father 00:27:08.880 --> 00:27:11.799 sends His Spirit into our hearts 00:27:11.799 --> 00:27:15.120 to work that message deep into our hearts, 00:27:15.119 --> 00:27:18.299 then we have the power to change the joy 00:27:18.299 --> 00:27:22.819 of pursuing good and healthy relationships. 00:27:25.039 --> 00:27:26.519 It is amazing to think 00:27:26.519 --> 00:27:28.839 that God has been so kind to His people 00:27:28.839 --> 00:27:30.099 that while, yes, 00:27:30.159 --> 00:27:31.959 we can't do relationships perfectly, 00:27:32.039 --> 00:27:34.639 we really can treat others 00:27:34.639 --> 00:27:36.699 in ways that are kind and loving and patient. 00:27:36.919 --> 00:27:38.899 And we can grow and develop in that. 00:27:38.959 --> 00:27:40.279 And maybe as you look at your own life, 00:27:40.339 --> 00:27:41.119 you're so encouraged 00:27:41.119 --> 00:27:42.199 because you see that. 00:27:42.200 --> 00:27:45.160 It's amazing to think 00:27:45.160 --> 00:27:47.100 that God can use the church 00:27:47.100 --> 00:27:49.200 to let people see 00:27:49.200 --> 00:27:52.140 that His love really is powerful 00:27:52.140 --> 00:27:53.220 and life-changing. 00:27:56.900 --> 00:27:57.720 And of course, 00:27:57.799 --> 00:28:00.059 what our confused world needs most, 00:28:02.080 --> 00:28:03.960 what we in the midst 00:28:03.960 --> 00:28:05.680 of our complicated relationships 00:28:05.680 --> 00:28:06.720 need most, 00:28:06.720 --> 00:28:10.700 is not just to hear 00:28:10.700 --> 00:28:13.860 this lesson about what perfect love looks like. 00:28:13.920 --> 00:28:15.759 We need to see and to experience 00:28:15.759 --> 00:28:17.779 that perfect picture of love 00:28:17.779 --> 00:28:18.579 in our own life. 00:28:19.740 --> 00:28:21.000 We need to know Jesus, 00:28:22.120 --> 00:28:24.059 the one who connected perfect love 00:28:24.059 --> 00:28:25.480 for His Father 00:28:25.480 --> 00:28:28.059 with perfect love for others. 00:28:28.839 --> 00:28:30.660 You know, the Jesus who taught this principle 00:28:30.660 --> 00:28:32.620 also worked it out in practice. 00:28:32.619 --> 00:28:35.000 when His friends let Him down, 00:28:36.000 --> 00:28:37.239 He was patient. 00:28:38.859 --> 00:28:40.079 He was kind 00:28:40.079 --> 00:28:42.439 towards those who took Him for granted. 00:28:43.599 --> 00:28:45.000 He prayed forgiveness 00:28:45.000 --> 00:28:46.179 even for those 00:28:46.179 --> 00:28:48.000 who were putting Him to death. 00:28:50.059 --> 00:28:51.539 And there on the cross, 00:28:51.619 --> 00:28:53.179 He suffers and dies 00:28:53.179 --> 00:28:54.759 to forgive us 00:28:54.759 --> 00:28:55.799 our mess, 00:28:55.939 --> 00:28:56.759 our sin, 00:28:56.839 --> 00:28:57.799 and to make us 00:28:57.799 --> 00:28:59.239 children of God, 00:28:59.359 --> 00:29:00.419 and to give us 00:29:00.419 --> 00:29:01.439 the love of God. 00:29:01.440 --> 00:29:05.600 And so, 00:29:05.820 --> 00:29:06.940 knowing Jesus, 00:29:07.980 --> 00:29:09.580 relationship with Jesus, 00:29:09.580 --> 00:29:11.500 that's the one relationship 00:29:11.500 --> 00:29:12.740 that you and I need 00:29:12.740 --> 00:29:14.500 most of all. 00:29:16.539 --> 00:29:18.299 For the sake of our own hearts 00:29:18.299 --> 00:29:18.880 and lives, 00:29:18.960 --> 00:29:20.940 for the sake of our relationships. 00:29:24.120 --> 00:29:25.500 Today, do we know Him? 00:29:26.980 --> 00:29:29.120 Are we enjoying life with Him? 00:29:29.119 --> 00:29:32.939 Will we receive Him today 00:29:32.939 --> 00:29:33.839 if we're not yet 00:29:33.839 --> 00:29:34.579 His followers, 00:29:34.779 --> 00:29:35.299 His people? 00:29:36.099 --> 00:29:37.579 Because He promises 00:29:37.579 --> 00:29:39.739 when we ask and seek and not, 00:29:40.019 --> 00:29:41.500 He will bring us 00:29:41.500 --> 00:29:43.439 into life with God 00:29:43.439 --> 00:29:44.439 as our Father. 00:29:45.479 --> 00:29:46.619 He will give us 00:29:46.619 --> 00:29:47.899 His grace and love 00:29:47.899 --> 00:29:49.299 to help us today 00:29:49.299 --> 00:29:51.339 and every day 00:29:51.339 --> 00:29:53.119 and in all those relationships 00:29:53.699 --> 00:29:55.539 that you and I have. 00:29:55.539 --> 00:29:57.200 God bless you. 00:29:57.200 --> 00:29:57.200 00:29:57.200 --> 00:29:57.200 00:29:57.200 --> 00:29:57.200 00:29:57.200 --> 00:29:57.200 00:29:57.200 --> 00:29:57.200 00:29:57.200 --> 00:29:57.200 00:29:57.200 --> 00:29:57.200 00:29:57.200 --> 00:29:57.200 00:29:57.200 --> 00:29:57.200 00:29:57.200 --> 00:29:57.200 00:29:57.200 --> 00:29:57.200 00:29:57.200 --> 00:29:57.200 00:29:57.200 --> 00:29:57.200 00:29:57.200 --> 00:29:57.200 00:29:57.200 --> 00:29:57.200 00:29:57.200 --> 00:29:57.200 00:29:57.200 --> 00:29:57.200 00:29:57.200 --> 00:29:57.200 00:29:57.200 --> 00:29:57.200 00:29:57.200 --> 00:29:57.200 00:29:57.200 --> 00:29:57.200 00:29:57.200 --> 00:29:57.200 00:29:57.200 --> 00:29:57.200 00:29:57.200 --> 00:29:57.200 00:29:57.200 --> 00:29:57.200 00:29:57.200 --> 00:29:57.200 00:29:57.200 --> 00:29:57.200 00:29:57.200 --> 00:29:57.200 00:29:57.200 --> 00:29:57.200 00:29:57.200 --> 00:29:57.200 00:29:57.200 --> 00:29:57.200 00:29:57.200 --> 00:29:57.200 00:29:57.200 --> 00:29:57.200 00:29:57.200 --> 00:29:57.200 00:29:57.200 --> 00:29:57.200 00:29:57.200 --> 00:29:57.200 00:29:57.200 --> 00:29:57.200 00:29:57.200 --> 00:29:57.200