WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:04.080 Well, again, let me welcome all of you who are here, especially those who are here for the first time. 00:00:04.980 --> 00:00:08.259 I'd like to open just by asking, or rather posing a question. 00:00:09.880 --> 00:00:12.000 What does it mean to love people well? 00:00:13.339 --> 00:00:19.640 When you think about being the kind of person who loves others well, what does that actually mean? 00:00:21.280 --> 00:00:26.560 It's a simple question, and it sounds pretty straightforward, but in fact, if you think about it, 00:00:26.559 --> 00:00:31.879 the way we answer that question reveals a lot about our deeper beliefs. 00:00:32.539 --> 00:00:40.239 It reveals a lot about what we believe about human identity, and the purpose of human life, if there is one, 00:00:40.359 --> 00:00:45.420 about what life is all about, what we believe about God, what we believe about reality, 00:00:46.179 --> 00:00:47.980 what we believe about epistemology. 00:00:49.280 --> 00:00:56.539 It's a very loaded question, and that's the question that we're going to consider a bit tonight. 00:00:56.560 --> 00:00:57.000 together. 00:00:57.580 --> 00:01:01.679 We started a series a couple of weeks ago called The Joyful Life. 00:01:02.100 --> 00:01:05.780 It's a series where we're looking at Paul's letter to the Philippians. 00:01:06.200 --> 00:01:11.040 A lot of reasons that we're looking at this letter, it really feels like a letter that could have very 00:01:11.040 --> 00:01:13.400 specifically been written to our church. 00:01:13.879 --> 00:01:17.800 It is so directly applicable to the kind of community that we have here. 00:01:18.359 --> 00:01:23.560 But one of the major themes in Philippians is the theme of joy, and it's the theme of inexplicable 00:01:23.560 --> 00:01:27.200 joy, the kind of joy that can exist regardless of circumstances. 00:01:27.340 --> 00:01:28.320 So that's what we're going to follow. 00:01:28.320 --> 00:01:31.859 We're going to follow that thread together through this letter. 00:01:32.719 --> 00:01:40.060 And last week we looked at how this kind of inexplicable joy is rooted in an identity that is defined by 00:01:40.060 --> 00:01:45.700 God's love, that what it means to be a saint is not anything that we do or think or say. 00:01:45.700 --> 00:01:52.520 What it means to be a saint is that God has set his love on you, and that love defines you. 00:01:52.820 --> 00:01:56.000 And so this week we're going to continue looking at that love, but we're going to look at what 00:01:56.000 --> 00:02:03.000 that love looks like in our lives when we are the ones loving others in the same way that God has 00:02:03.000 --> 00:02:04.100 loved us. 00:02:04.159 --> 00:02:09.140 And so that's why we're going to look at Philippians chapter 1, just verses 9 and 10 and 11. 00:02:09.139 --> 00:02:11.579 This is a prayer that Paul prays. 00:02:12.079 --> 00:02:17.519 It's one of my favorite places in the New Testament because it's one of the best summaries of Christian 00:02:17.519 --> 00:02:17.979 growth. 00:02:19.419 --> 00:02:25.039 So it's one of the best summaries of what Christian growth is, what it means, what it looks like. 00:02:25.619 --> 00:02:30.639 And what we see is that Christian growth means growing in love. 00:02:31.919 --> 00:02:38.219 So to grow as a Christian, it means at its core to grow in love, and that's the essence of Paul's 00:02:38.219 --> 00:02:39.400 prayer for the Philippians. 00:02:39.800 --> 00:02:44.819 But that might not mean what we think it means, and so that's why we're going to consider this 00:02:44.819 --> 00:02:45.479 together tonight. 00:02:45.599 --> 00:02:47.960 So we're going to see two things. 00:02:48.079 --> 00:02:54.340 We're going to spend most of our time looking at how we grow, how love grows, and then at 00:02:54.340 --> 00:02:59.240 the very end we'll look a little bit at how we know that that growth is happening. 00:02:59.240 --> 00:03:03.439 So how we grow and how we know that we're actually growing. 00:03:03.539 --> 00:03:04.840 So let's pray for the Lord to lead us. 00:03:04.840 --> 00:03:14.699 Our Father, we ask that, Lord, as we consider your word, we recognize that our greatest hope, 00:03:14.800 --> 00:03:20.480 our greatest joy is that you're here present with us now, and that our hope doesn't rest 00:03:20.480 --> 00:03:26.960 in human wisdom or human thoughts or human ideas, but rather it rests in your presence 00:03:26.960 --> 00:03:28.759 and all that you're doing in our midst. 00:03:28.759 --> 00:03:35.079 So we pray that, Lord, as you're here, that you would speak, that these spoken words would 00:03:35.079 --> 00:03:41.439 merely be a faithful revealing of your written word and that that would in turn reveal to 00:03:41.439 --> 00:03:44.459 us your living word, that we would see Jesus more clearly. 00:03:45.180 --> 00:03:46.859 We pray this in your Son's holy name. 00:03:47.039 --> 00:03:47.299 Amen. 00:03:47.300 --> 00:03:47.380 Amen. 00:03:49.060 --> 00:03:51.160 So first of all, how love grows. 00:03:51.280 --> 00:03:53.560 How do we grow in love? 00:03:53.700 --> 00:03:55.200 And this is what verse 9 is all about. 00:03:55.300 --> 00:03:55.600 He says, 00:03:55.860 --> 00:04:03.760 And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more with knowledge and all discernment. 00:04:04.500 --> 00:04:06.120 With knowledge and all discernment. 00:04:06.480 --> 00:04:13.380 So there's a tree planted in front of our house, and this tree is a little sort of sapling, 00:04:13.379 --> 00:04:19.339 and so on either side of the tree there are two wooden stakes, and the stakes have wires 00:04:19.339 --> 00:04:23.699 that connect to the tree, and the job of those stakes is to stabilize the tree. 00:04:23.920 --> 00:04:27.839 It just has a little root ball, and it needs to be stabilized so that that can turn into a 00:04:27.839 --> 00:04:33.719 root system, and these stakes help stabilize the tree in the wind and the various weather 00:04:33.719 --> 00:04:38.480 that we have here in D.C. so that it can grow tall and straight and get a good, well-developed 00:04:38.480 --> 00:04:39.000 root system. 00:04:39.000 --> 00:04:44.459 And in many ways, Paul's prayer can be thought of like this tree. 00:04:44.720 --> 00:04:50.459 So the love is like the tree that's been planted in our hearts. 00:04:51.399 --> 00:04:57.000 And Paul is saying in order for that to grow straight and well, in order for it to be deeply 00:04:57.000 --> 00:05:00.459 rooted in our hearts, it needs a couple of supports. 00:05:00.680 --> 00:05:04.360 It needs things to shape it and guide it and direct it as it grows. 00:05:04.819 --> 00:05:07.300 Knowledge and discernment. 00:05:07.300 --> 00:05:09.920 And so these are the things that we're going to look at. 00:05:10.020 --> 00:05:13.680 First, we'll look at love itself, and then knowledge and discernment, and then how it 00:05:13.680 --> 00:05:14.560 all works together. 00:05:16.120 --> 00:05:22.740 As we look first at love, love is the thing that is the, that's the actual thing that's 00:05:22.740 --> 00:05:23.300 in question here. 00:05:23.340 --> 00:05:28.340 That's the actual thing that defines our growth as Christians, and that's because love is the 00:05:28.340 --> 00:05:29.879 litmus test of a Christian. 00:05:29.879 --> 00:05:33.100 It's the litmus test. 00:05:33.100 --> 00:05:34.839 It's not your politics. 00:05:35.159 --> 00:05:36.639 It's not your morals. 00:05:36.819 --> 00:05:38.019 It's not your worldview. 00:05:38.680 --> 00:05:43.740 It's the presence of God's love in your life. 00:05:44.420 --> 00:05:49.060 The Bible says again and again that love is the central defining characteristic of Christians. 00:05:49.060 --> 00:05:56.959 And that's because Christians are people who, by definition, they're people who, or for whom 00:05:56.959 --> 00:06:03.360 God's love has broken into their lives, and they've encountered it, and it's changed them. 00:06:04.459 --> 00:06:10.060 So Christians are people to whom God is saying, I love you so much that I've sacrificed everything 00:06:10.060 --> 00:06:12.060 so that you could belong to me. 00:06:12.120 --> 00:06:14.920 And Christians are people who have received that love. 00:06:14.920 --> 00:06:19.640 And when you experience that kind of love, it gets planted in your heart, and it's a 00:06:19.640 --> 00:06:20.480 unique kind of love. 00:06:20.560 --> 00:06:23.080 It's what Paul calls the affection of Christ. 00:06:23.920 --> 00:06:25.520 It's the love that comes from Jesus. 00:06:27.020 --> 00:06:31.020 And you know, I was thinking about this kind of love and how this defines Christians in 00:06:31.020 --> 00:06:33.360 Christian communities, and I was thinking about our community. 00:06:33.840 --> 00:06:39.840 And I was just struck, as I thought, as I thought about us, I was struck by how much love 00:06:39.840 --> 00:06:41.600 there is in this community. 00:06:41.600 --> 00:06:45.460 If you're new to this community, if you've not been around a while, I'll just tell you, 00:06:45.500 --> 00:06:47.560 this is an extremely loving community. 00:06:48.140 --> 00:06:49.600 You know, just today, we were in a pinch. 00:06:49.700 --> 00:06:54.960 We had things that we had to do after the morning service and before tonight, and we had 00:06:54.960 --> 00:06:56.620 to get them done, and we couldn't have our kids with us. 00:06:56.760 --> 00:07:02.000 And somebody stepped up with less than a day's notice, happily stepped up, said, yes, absolutely, 00:07:02.100 --> 00:07:03.200 I would love to keep your kids. 00:07:03.560 --> 00:07:05.580 I mean, that's an amazingly loving thing to do. 00:07:05.640 --> 00:07:07.580 We were so encouraged by that, right? 00:07:07.579 --> 00:07:11.019 And regularly, I'm hearing about people, you know, just this week, I heard about people 00:07:11.019 --> 00:07:14.419 who needed to move, and they were going from one apartment to another, and like a dozen 00:07:14.419 --> 00:07:18.199 people from the church showed up to help them move boxes and clean out their place. 00:07:18.839 --> 00:07:23.719 I routinely hear about people giving rides to each other to the airport at 5 a.m. 00:07:24.539 --> 00:07:29.680 I mean, there's Uber, but they do it anyway because they're that loving, right? 00:07:29.680 --> 00:07:36.540 I hear about people giving clothes and money and cars to other people in the church who 00:07:36.540 --> 00:07:36.959 need it. 00:07:37.639 --> 00:07:41.019 This is an incredibly loving, incredibly supportive community. 00:07:41.639 --> 00:07:43.259 People really care about each other here. 00:07:44.180 --> 00:07:49.420 So the love of Christ is, I believe, has been firmly planted in this community, and so the 00:07:49.420 --> 00:07:51.759 question becomes, how does that love grow? 00:07:52.120 --> 00:07:56.160 And Paul would say to us, I think if he was here, we need two things. 00:07:56.240 --> 00:07:57.620 We need knowledge and we need discernment. 00:07:57.620 --> 00:08:00.920 These are the things that we're maybe lacking to some degree. 00:08:01.720 --> 00:08:03.180 So the first thing is knowledge. 00:08:04.600 --> 00:08:06.439 And this is a very specific word for knowledge. 00:08:06.600 --> 00:08:08.240 The word is epinosis. 00:08:09.079 --> 00:08:12.740 You don't need to know that, but you need to know that it's a specific word that means 00:08:12.740 --> 00:08:14.240 biblical knowledge. 00:08:14.459 --> 00:08:16.680 It means theological understanding. 00:08:16.939 --> 00:08:21.879 It means having what the Bible calls sound doctrine, right? 00:08:21.899 --> 00:08:26.480 So there are some people who say, and I have this conversation a lot, well, I don't go 00:08:26.480 --> 00:08:28.259 into all for all that doctrine stuff. 00:08:28.379 --> 00:08:29.640 I don't care about all that. 00:08:30.020 --> 00:08:31.920 I just want to love people like Jesus did. 00:08:33.139 --> 00:08:37.840 And really what you see here is that you can't love people like Jesus did without having 00:08:37.840 --> 00:08:39.320 sound doctrine. 00:08:39.980 --> 00:08:40.659 Who is Jesus? 00:08:40.800 --> 00:08:41.360 That's doctrine. 00:08:41.580 --> 00:08:42.460 What does it mean to love? 00:08:42.539 --> 00:08:43.960 That's doctrine, right? 00:08:44.080 --> 00:08:45.420 You need sound doctrine. 00:08:45.779 --> 00:08:48.800 So Paul's saying this is a part of what we need to grow in love. 00:08:48.799 --> 00:08:51.099 But the question becomes, what's the relationship? 00:08:52.240 --> 00:08:55.719 In other words, what is biblical knowledge and theological knowledge, what does that have 00:08:55.719 --> 00:08:56.559 to do with love? 00:08:58.659 --> 00:09:00.439 And this brings up a key point. 00:09:01.819 --> 00:09:07.539 For Christians, growing in love doesn't mean loving more. 00:09:08.919 --> 00:09:10.459 See, this is my prayer most of the time. 00:09:10.539 --> 00:09:12.359 Please, God, help me be more loving. 00:09:13.319 --> 00:09:14.359 Help me be more loving. 00:09:14.360 --> 00:09:17.960 And by that, what I normally mean is, help me feel it more. 00:09:19.000 --> 00:09:24.480 Give me the kind of neurochemical cocktail necessary to make me feel that love. 00:09:25.820 --> 00:09:27.700 But that's not what Paul's talking about. 00:09:27.820 --> 00:09:30.940 In other words, growing in love is not about loving more. 00:09:31.039 --> 00:09:32.120 It's about loving well. 00:09:33.720 --> 00:09:35.139 It's about loving well. 00:09:35.519 --> 00:09:41.899 Which means we are called to test our feelings using our knowledge of God's Word. 00:09:41.899 --> 00:09:46.799 to test our feelings, to evaluate them against this other standard. 00:09:48.899 --> 00:09:54.459 Now, when I say that, I realize that this is becoming, as we look at it, more and more 00:09:54.459 --> 00:09:55.139 countercultural. 00:09:56.039 --> 00:10:01.620 You know, the idea of testing your feelings is radically countercultural, right? 00:10:01.879 --> 00:10:03.779 Because we live in a society that says what? 00:10:05.059 --> 00:10:07.480 Follow your heart, right? 00:10:08.179 --> 00:10:09.279 Trust your feelings. 00:10:09.279 --> 00:10:09.339 Trust your feelings. 00:10:09.919 --> 00:10:20.059 The idea being that our feelings, our hearts, will lead us faithfully to truth and to flourishing 00:10:20.059 --> 00:10:21.100 and to fulfillment. 00:10:21.559 --> 00:10:24.360 The problem is we just need to have the courage to follow them. 00:10:25.980 --> 00:10:28.679 So this is the prevailing wisdom in our culture. 00:10:30.059 --> 00:10:33.679 And increasingly, as I kind of look around and I have lots of conversations about this 00:10:33.679 --> 00:10:39.139 with people, it seems as though feelings are becoming a kind of stand-alone source of truth. 00:10:39.279 --> 00:10:42.339 Feelings alone determining what's true. 00:10:42.659 --> 00:10:47.259 I have a friend named Dale Keene who's a college professor up north and he had, after class one 00:10:47.259 --> 00:10:51.579 day, he had a young woman approach him and say, Dr. Keene, can I ask you a kind of a weird 00:10:51.579 --> 00:10:51.939 question? 00:10:51.980 --> 00:10:52.959 And he said, okay. 00:10:53.399 --> 00:10:55.000 He gets all kinds of weird questions. 00:10:55.639 --> 00:10:57.699 And she said, well, okay. 00:10:57.700 --> 00:10:57.740 Okay. 00:11:00.240 --> 00:11:03.860 What does it feel like to be a woman? 00:11:05.100 --> 00:11:10.640 And he thought about it for a long time and he said, I don't really know. 00:11:11.480 --> 00:11:13.140 Which I was like, great answer. 00:11:13.820 --> 00:11:15.400 That's the only answer you should give. 00:11:17.020 --> 00:11:17.820 He said, I don't know. 00:11:17.860 --> 00:11:18.540 And then she says, okay. 00:11:18.600 --> 00:11:19.820 Well, what does it feel like to be a man? 00:11:20.660 --> 00:11:21.340 And he thinks about it. 00:11:21.360 --> 00:11:23.879 He says, I don't really know. 00:11:23.879 --> 00:11:28.620 And she says, well, what does it feel like to be a horse? 00:11:30.120 --> 00:11:31.919 And he says, well, I definitely don't know. 00:11:32.820 --> 00:11:36.019 And she says, well, I think I'm a horse. 00:11:37.259 --> 00:11:43.700 Because when I look around at all of the things that I identify with, I most identify with horses. 00:11:44.500 --> 00:11:46.379 So I must be a horse. 00:11:47.320 --> 00:11:48.539 And she was being serious. 00:11:48.539 --> 00:11:56.019 And the reason that he told me this story is the point that he was making is that he had no idea what to say in response. 00:11:57.459 --> 00:12:07.039 And moreover, he felt as though any response, any question that he might ask would most likely be deeply offensive to her. 00:12:07.860 --> 00:12:08.779 And so he said nothing. 00:12:10.699 --> 00:12:12.000 It's interesting, isn't it? 00:12:12.000 --> 00:12:16.860 It's as though feelings have almost taken a kind of divine status. 00:12:17.659 --> 00:12:20.059 And to question them is almost an act of blasphemy. 00:12:20.759 --> 00:12:21.919 So he said nothing. 00:12:23.620 --> 00:12:28.580 So the question that we should be asking is, first and foremost, not theological. 00:12:28.720 --> 00:12:29.659 It's actually very practical. 00:12:29.779 --> 00:12:32.279 The question that I want to ask is, does this actually work? 00:12:33.779 --> 00:12:34.620 Does it work? 00:12:35.299 --> 00:12:37.919 Do the feelings do what we think they're doing? 00:12:38.580 --> 00:12:38.860 Right? 00:12:38.860 --> 00:12:40.680 So you tell me. 00:12:40.820 --> 00:12:42.539 I'm just going to be honest about my heart. 00:12:42.919 --> 00:12:43.919 And you tell me. 00:12:44.300 --> 00:12:45.379 Let me tell you about my heart. 00:12:46.560 --> 00:12:55.639 If I'm totally honest, my heart is continually trying to convince me that I'm the most important person in my life. 00:12:57.100 --> 00:12:59.500 More important than my wife. 00:12:59.620 --> 00:13:01.720 More important than my kids. 00:13:02.360 --> 00:13:05.680 And no offense, but way more important than you. 00:13:05.679 --> 00:13:08.839 I'm just being honest. 00:13:09.719 --> 00:13:20.419 So my heart is constantly trying to convince me that when I come home in the evening, that it is more important for me to lay down on the couch and read my iPhone than play with my kids who haven't seen me all day. 00:13:21.019 --> 00:13:22.519 My heart says, absolutely. 00:13:22.739 --> 00:13:23.739 That's what you should do. 00:13:24.399 --> 00:13:24.620 Right? 00:13:24.620 --> 00:13:35.080 My heart is constantly trying to convince me that winning an argument is more important than ensuring that my wife feels heard and understood and loved. 00:13:36.740 --> 00:13:48.980 If I have to employ sarcasm, if I have to stonewall, if I have to employ any sort of underhanded tactics, it's okay because I just need to win. 00:13:50.159 --> 00:13:51.620 My heart says, go for it. 00:13:51.759 --> 00:13:52.480 No holds barred. 00:13:52.480 --> 00:13:52.560 No. 00:13:53.200 --> 00:13:53.399 Right? 00:13:53.539 --> 00:14:01.159 My heart is constantly trying to convince me that protecting my ego is way too important to admit my mistakes. 00:14:01.620 --> 00:14:03.440 Even when I know that I'm wrong. 00:14:04.039 --> 00:14:05.860 My heart says, nobody else has to know. 00:14:07.240 --> 00:14:12.539 So this is what my heart, this is the dialogue that I have with my heart on a daily basis. 00:14:12.539 --> 00:14:18.120 And so the question is, should I really accept and follow those feelings? 00:14:19.299 --> 00:14:20.599 No questions asked. 00:14:22.759 --> 00:14:26.779 You know, Jeremiah 17.9 paints a very different picture of the heart. 00:14:26.860 --> 00:14:31.099 It says, the heart is deceitful above all else. 00:14:32.299 --> 00:14:36.439 It's deceitful above all things and desperately sick. 00:14:36.440 --> 00:14:39.100 And then it says, who can understand it? 00:14:40.600 --> 00:14:42.200 So have you ever seen Pirates of the Caribbean? 00:14:43.560 --> 00:14:43.780 Yeah. 00:14:44.060 --> 00:14:45.040 Last week, kids' movies. 00:14:45.140 --> 00:14:45.780 This week, kids' movies. 00:14:45.840 --> 00:14:47.260 I told you, we watch a lot of kids' movies. 00:14:47.880 --> 00:14:48.620 Pirates of the Caribbean. 00:14:48.620 --> 00:14:50.180 I can't remember which one it is. 00:14:50.600 --> 00:14:54.660 But Captain Jack Sparrow, Johnny Depp's character, has this magic compass. 00:14:54.659 --> 00:14:59.159 And the compass is special because it doesn't point to true north. 00:14:59.699 --> 00:15:04.379 Rather, it points to whatever it is that the owner most desires. 00:15:05.959 --> 00:15:06.159 Right? 00:15:06.740 --> 00:15:10.559 Whatever the owner of the compass most desires, that's what it points to. 00:15:10.600 --> 00:15:11.679 It says, this is true north. 00:15:12.319 --> 00:15:15.240 And I remember thinking, that's exactly how my heart works. 00:15:16.100 --> 00:15:17.779 That's a great picture of my heart. 00:15:18.039 --> 00:15:23.100 My heart says, whatever you most want, whether it's to appear successful or to feel important 00:15:23.100 --> 00:15:30.159 or to feel like you're making a difference or to feel worthy or to feel pleasure, whatever that is, 00:15:31.220 --> 00:15:34.340 my heart is the voice that says, that is true north. 00:15:34.920 --> 00:15:39.879 Meaning, we're going to evaluate everything else by that standard because that's most important. 00:15:41.379 --> 00:15:41.720 Right? 00:15:41.820 --> 00:15:45.240 So in the words of Philip Melanchthon, who was a 16th century reformer, 00:15:46.240 --> 00:15:52.980 he said, what the heart desires, the will chooses, and the mind justifies. 00:15:54.100 --> 00:15:56.860 What the heart desires, the will chooses, and the mind justifies. 00:15:56.920 --> 00:15:57.399 What does this mean? 00:15:58.259 --> 00:16:00.899 It means nobody has to tell me to follow my heart. 00:16:01.940 --> 00:16:04.379 Like, I don't need, I need to hear a lot of things. 00:16:04.600 --> 00:16:06.560 That's the one thing that I don't need to hear. 00:16:07.180 --> 00:16:10.120 Because most of the time, my heart feels like a speedboat. 00:16:10.740 --> 00:16:13.820 And I'm like the guy who long ago lost the water skis. 00:16:14.040 --> 00:16:15.519 And I can't let go of the rope. 00:16:15.860 --> 00:16:17.700 And I'm just being dragged through the water. 00:16:18.060 --> 00:16:19.139 That's what it feels like. 00:16:19.139 --> 00:16:22.879 And if I don't question or challenge or in any way push back, 00:16:23.100 --> 00:16:25.559 that's all that's going to happen in my life. 00:16:26.360 --> 00:16:30.699 So what Paul's saying here is that our feelings are not to be automatically trusted. 00:16:30.860 --> 00:16:32.259 They need to be tested first. 00:16:34.000 --> 00:16:34.519 Right? 00:16:34.600 --> 00:16:35.819 So awareness is great. 00:16:37.059 --> 00:16:38.340 Emotional honesty is great. 00:16:39.179 --> 00:16:40.419 All these things are great. 00:16:40.939 --> 00:16:44.159 But we shouldn't take these things uncritically. 00:16:44.559 --> 00:16:45.759 We need to test them. 00:16:45.759 --> 00:16:50.240 So in other words, instead of defining true north by our desires, 00:16:51.059 --> 00:16:56.039 we need to define our desires by the true north of God's word. 00:16:56.100 --> 00:16:59.659 And that's where the role of knowledge comes in. 00:17:00.819 --> 00:17:02.600 Our hearts are not meant to be followed. 00:17:03.819 --> 00:17:05.180 They need to be led. 00:17:06.640 --> 00:17:06.779 Right? 00:17:06.900 --> 00:17:09.279 Jesus is the one we're called to follow. 00:17:09.440 --> 00:17:11.000 So this is what Paul's getting at. 00:17:11.160 --> 00:17:11.879 But here's the thing. 00:17:12.039 --> 00:17:13.480 We can have a lot of knowledge. 00:17:13.480 --> 00:17:15.660 You can have a lot of education. 00:17:15.819 --> 00:17:17.980 You can have a lot of theological understanding. 00:17:18.599 --> 00:17:23.140 And that doesn't automatically result in any change or growth. 00:17:24.120 --> 00:17:28.400 It's only good to the extent that it's actually been applied to our lives. 00:17:28.700 --> 00:17:30.779 And that's what Paul's getting at when he talks about, 00:17:30.920 --> 00:17:32.079 so we talked about knowledge. 00:17:32.400 --> 00:17:35.299 Now Paul's talking about that has to be paired with discernment, 00:17:35.380 --> 00:17:36.500 the other stake in the ground. 00:17:36.500 --> 00:17:39.240 So what he's saying is this. 00:17:40.920 --> 00:17:41.940 I'll show you what I mean. 00:17:42.079 --> 00:17:46.660 There's two ways to know something. 00:17:47.440 --> 00:17:47.519 Right? 00:17:49.579 --> 00:17:51.339 Think of a neighborhood. 00:17:53.039 --> 00:17:56.720 Okay, there's one way of knowing that neighborhood that comes through looking at a map. 00:17:57.500 --> 00:17:57.720 Right? 00:17:57.720 --> 00:18:01.960 So you get your Google map and it shows you where you are and you look at all the streets 00:18:01.960 --> 00:18:06.000 and you memorize the street names and you can learn it that way. 00:18:06.299 --> 00:18:07.500 You don't even have to have ever been there. 00:18:08.420 --> 00:18:13.880 And there's another way of knowing that neighborhood that can only come by walking the streets. 00:18:15.259 --> 00:18:15.440 Right? 00:18:17.039 --> 00:18:18.660 Think about the neighborhood that you grew up in. 00:18:18.660 --> 00:18:25.920 You probably never saw a map and yet you knew that neighborhood. 00:18:26.060 --> 00:18:28.200 And if somebody said, hey, how can I get from here to here? 00:18:28.360 --> 00:18:30.920 You knew exactly the best way for them to go. 00:18:33.100 --> 00:18:35.680 But you may not even remember the street names. 00:18:36.680 --> 00:18:41.060 It's because that knowledge is stored in your body and it was built into you 00:18:41.060 --> 00:18:46.759 because on a daily basis you were walking and running and biking and driving those streets. 00:18:46.759 --> 00:18:50.480 And so you can navigate with your eyes closed. 00:18:51.500 --> 00:18:52.519 So the point is this. 00:18:52.640 --> 00:18:58.559 Most of us know, most of us have knowledge, biblical knowledge, theological knowledge, 00:18:58.720 --> 00:19:00.200 in the first category. 00:19:00.900 --> 00:19:02.259 We know it like you know a map. 00:19:03.960 --> 00:19:08.879 But what Paul's saying is you need to have this kind of knowledge in the second way. 00:19:09.579 --> 00:19:15.400 It needs to be built into you and discernment is the thing that makes that happen. 00:19:15.400 --> 00:19:19.820 Discernment is what allows us to take that knowledge and build it into our lives 00:19:19.820 --> 00:19:25.440 on a daily basis through habitually living it out. 00:19:27.140 --> 00:19:32.120 So taking the examples from before, 00:19:33.700 --> 00:19:39.080 my heart tells me it's more important for you to lay on the couch than it is to play with your kids. 00:19:39.180 --> 00:19:41.840 It's more important to read your iPhone than it is to play with your kids. 00:19:41.980 --> 00:19:43.160 That's the most important thing. 00:19:43.160 --> 00:19:47.460 And God's word would tell me you need to put your kids first. 00:19:47.680 --> 00:19:49.040 You're called to be their dad. 00:19:49.140 --> 00:19:50.060 You're called to love them. 00:19:50.140 --> 00:19:51.220 You're called to encourage them. 00:19:51.380 --> 00:19:52.900 You're called to put them before yourself. 00:19:54.360 --> 00:19:56.680 And discernment means I look at this and I look at this. 00:19:56.759 --> 00:20:00.840 And discernment means actively choosing against this and actually choosing this. 00:20:00.880 --> 00:20:03.279 And at some point discernment means I get up off the couch. 00:20:04.320 --> 00:20:04.720 Right? 00:20:05.019 --> 00:20:06.220 That's when it becomes real. 00:20:06.460 --> 00:20:07.279 I actually get up. 00:20:07.320 --> 00:20:08.360 I actually put my phone away. 00:20:08.359 --> 00:20:15.000 I've told you about the time that Maddox took my phone one time, took it, looked at it, looked at me and dropped it in a cup of water. 00:20:16.579 --> 00:20:17.559 And he was like two. 00:20:18.599 --> 00:20:19.779 Yeah, I still haven't learned. 00:20:20.819 --> 00:20:21.079 Right? 00:20:21.079 --> 00:20:29.819 So when I'm in an argument with my wife, not that that ever happens hypothetically when we're in an argument. 00:20:29.819 --> 00:20:34.500 My heart is telling me you need to be defensive. 00:20:34.839 --> 00:20:36.179 You need to be sarcastic. 00:20:36.519 --> 00:20:38.740 You need to be do whatever you can do to win. 00:20:40.599 --> 00:20:44.619 And God's word tells me you need to love her like Christ loves you. 00:20:45.500 --> 00:20:46.740 You need to love her sacrificially. 00:20:47.559 --> 00:20:49.899 You need to put her flourishing before your own. 00:20:50.379 --> 00:20:52.240 You need to be the first to admit your sin. 00:20:52.639 --> 00:20:55.399 You need to be the first to lay your arms down. 00:20:56.519 --> 00:20:57.919 You need to ask for forgiveness. 00:20:58.939 --> 00:20:59.119 Right? 00:20:59.119 --> 00:21:04.379 And so discernment means I look at this and I choose against it and I look at this and I shut the heck up. 00:21:05.519 --> 00:21:06.939 And I listen to what she has to say. 00:21:08.639 --> 00:21:09.599 That's discernment. 00:21:10.779 --> 00:21:13.739 And this is an art that is cultivated over time. 00:21:14.299 --> 00:21:19.119 Listen, the great thing about this word is it doesn't convey wooden simplistic obedience. 00:21:19.379 --> 00:21:25.219 All too often, I think Christians, we proof text people to death. 00:21:25.579 --> 00:21:25.759 Right? 00:21:25.759 --> 00:21:29.299 Well, just here's what the Bible says about this. 00:21:29.940 --> 00:21:31.579 That's knowledge without discernment. 00:21:32.339 --> 00:21:32.440 Right? 00:21:32.500 --> 00:21:33.680 Discernment is an art. 00:21:34.160 --> 00:21:40.259 It requires wisdom and nuance and tact and subtlety and a sense of context and sensitivity. 00:21:40.740 --> 00:21:41.779 It requires wisdom. 00:21:41.779 --> 00:21:47.440 To know how and when and in what ways to apply the knowledge of God. 00:21:47.440 --> 00:21:53.579 This is what, you know, sometimes pastors talk about the difference between a theological response and a pastoral response. 00:21:54.700 --> 00:21:55.799 We confuse the two. 00:21:55.799 --> 00:21:56.799 Discernment. 00:21:56.799 --> 00:21:57.799 So discernment. 00:21:57.799 --> 00:21:59.180 So discernment, you may think of it this way. 00:21:59.399 --> 00:22:04.419 Discernment is the art of applying God's black and white truth in a gray world. 00:22:04.420 --> 00:22:08.100 Where you're not compromising the truth. 00:22:08.960 --> 00:22:13.000 But you're not ignoring the fact that life is incredibly complicated. 00:22:14.640 --> 00:22:17.300 So all together, the way this all works is this. 00:22:17.640 --> 00:22:19.100 Paul's basic prayer is this. 00:22:19.400 --> 00:22:23.200 That our love, that we would grow both in having a general knowledge of the things of God. 00:22:23.320 --> 00:22:28.519 And a specific knowledge and an ability to apply that in daily life. 00:22:28.620 --> 00:22:30.140 And the key is we need all three. 00:22:30.279 --> 00:22:32.420 They all need to grow in proportion to one another. 00:22:32.420 --> 00:22:36.740 So what do you think, what is love without knowledge and discernment? 00:22:38.400 --> 00:22:41.120 It's just kind of shallow sentimentalism, right? 00:22:42.940 --> 00:22:45.500 What is knowledge without discernment? 00:22:47.400 --> 00:22:50.220 Well, it's wasted, frankly. 00:22:50.539 --> 00:22:52.140 What's discernment without knowledge? 00:22:53.680 --> 00:22:56.180 Probably impossible, right? 00:22:57.600 --> 00:23:00.519 What is knowledge and discernment if you don't have love? 00:23:02.420 --> 00:23:04.880 It's probably going to be soul crushing to somebody. 00:23:05.740 --> 00:23:08.720 Either you or somebody you're trying to love. 00:23:10.100 --> 00:23:11.519 The point is we need all three. 00:23:12.560 --> 00:23:13.820 So this is how we grow. 00:23:13.940 --> 00:23:15.200 They all have to be growing together. 00:23:15.340 --> 00:23:17.360 In order to grow in love, you need to grow in knowledge. 00:23:17.640 --> 00:23:22.360 In order to grow in love, you need to grow in your ability to apply that knowledge in your life and the lives of people around you. 00:23:22.359 --> 00:23:24.419 That's what it means to grow in love. 00:23:24.500 --> 00:23:28.839 And so the next question is, how do we know that this growth is happening? 00:23:30.000 --> 00:23:31.579 And this is where Paul says in verse 10, 00:23:31.919 --> 00:23:37.240 So that you may approve what is excellent and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ. 00:23:38.459 --> 00:23:42.979 Filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ to the glory and praise of God. 00:23:42.980 --> 00:23:46.019 So in other words, what he's saying is this. 00:23:46.099 --> 00:23:48.200 We know that we're growing when we see three things. 00:23:49.140 --> 00:23:50.140 Change in character. 00:23:51.059 --> 00:23:53.339 That's the word pure, to be pure internally. 00:23:54.539 --> 00:23:59.620 Change in your conduct, how we act and what other people see in our lives. 00:24:00.279 --> 00:24:01.240 That's being blameless. 00:24:02.200 --> 00:24:03.460 And then the third thing is really key. 00:24:03.539 --> 00:24:06.259 We become more and more able to approve what is excellent. 00:24:07.759 --> 00:24:09.400 What this essentially means is this. 00:24:09.400 --> 00:24:14.320 That the more we're growing, the more our priorities are reflecting God's priorities. 00:24:14.940 --> 00:24:18.600 The more we grow, as Augustine would say, St. Augustine, 00:24:19.100 --> 00:24:21.860 the more our love is rightly ordered. 00:24:22.000 --> 00:24:26.000 We are approving and valuing and assigning worth to things in the way that God would. 00:24:26.700 --> 00:24:28.140 That's what it means to grow in this way. 00:24:29.140 --> 00:24:32.240 So in the previous examples about my kids and wife, to go back to those, 00:24:32.920 --> 00:24:38.019 growth means coming more and more and more to value God's definition 00:24:38.019 --> 00:24:44.339 and God's call on my life than whatever immediate satisfaction I may gain from doing what I want to do. 00:24:45.299 --> 00:24:47.960 So that's what growth would look like on a practical level. 00:24:49.460 --> 00:24:51.639 So this is how we grow in love. 00:24:51.720 --> 00:24:53.579 Let me give you another image that might help. 00:24:54.000 --> 00:24:57.220 It's taking the kind of tree and steak image and taking it a little further. 00:24:57.500 --> 00:25:02.519 Did any of you see this viral video that went around this week of a son? 00:25:02.519 --> 00:25:05.059 And every time I think about it, I get choked up. 00:25:05.279 --> 00:25:06.980 There's a little boy who can't walk. 00:25:07.839 --> 00:25:08.660 Anybody see this video? 00:25:09.059 --> 00:25:11.680 And the dad, so I think a few of you did, 00:25:11.940 --> 00:25:18.139 the dad builds this special harness that allows his son to be strapped to his body. 00:25:18.379 --> 00:25:21.579 So his body and his legs and his feet are all strapped to his dad. 00:25:22.259 --> 00:25:24.920 And they go outside and there's kids running and playing. 00:25:24.920 --> 00:25:31.779 And the dad is giving his son the experience of walking and running and playing with these other kids. 00:25:32.620 --> 00:25:37.140 And the look on this kid's face is pure, unadulterated joy. 00:25:37.880 --> 00:25:41.240 He is full of joy, radiating joy. 00:25:42.380 --> 00:25:45.500 And I think this is a lot of what Paul is calling us to. 00:25:45.640 --> 00:25:50.759 He's saying, if you want to know what it feels like to love the way Jesus loves, 00:25:50.980 --> 00:25:53.640 then you need to harness yourself to Christ. 00:25:53.640 --> 00:25:57.800 You need to harness the way you love, harness the way you conduct yourself, 00:25:58.120 --> 00:26:01.380 harness the way you relate to other people, harness that to Christ. 00:26:01.480 --> 00:26:04.060 And we do it through knowledge and discernment. 00:26:04.300 --> 00:26:11.380 And the idea is that over time, we gain a feel for what it's like to move and to interact and to love like Jesus does. 00:26:12.840 --> 00:26:14.240 And it's hard at first. 00:26:14.340 --> 00:26:14.980 It's unnatural. 00:26:15.480 --> 00:26:18.720 But over time, it becomes more and more natural feeling. 00:26:18.860 --> 00:26:21.880 It becomes a kind of Jesus-shaped instinct. 00:26:21.880 --> 00:26:27.600 But it can only come by harnessing ourselves to Christ through knowledge and discernment. 00:26:29.140 --> 00:26:33.700 So I want to get real practical here, just as we're closing. 00:26:33.940 --> 00:26:37.860 And I want to think about a couple of implications of this as we think about our own community. 00:26:38.380 --> 00:26:39.740 The first implication is this. 00:26:39.740 --> 00:26:42.000 Mature love. 00:26:43.279 --> 00:26:47.339 Mature love does not equal unconditional tolerance and acceptance. 00:26:49.339 --> 00:26:50.180 It doesn't. 00:26:50.180 --> 00:27:00.740 When a good friend of yours is in a relationship and they're dating somebody and it's an unhealthy relationship and you have concerns about it, 00:27:00.740 --> 00:27:06.559 if you simply say, well, I don't want to make waves. 00:27:08.279 --> 00:27:11.279 So all you say is, hey, so happy for you guys. 00:27:12.839 --> 00:27:14.980 That's actually an immature love. 00:27:15.140 --> 00:27:17.960 That's shallow sentimentalism. 00:27:17.960 --> 00:27:23.559 Mature love actually means being willing to ask the hard questions. 00:27:25.299 --> 00:27:33.059 Mature love means being willing to put the welfare of your friend ahead of your fear of rocking the boat. 00:27:34.759 --> 00:27:42.420 Mature love isn't meant to be lived out without knowledge and certainly discernment and sensitivity intact. 00:27:42.420 --> 00:27:47.259 You should certainly make sure that your words match the strength of your relationship. 00:27:47.920 --> 00:27:51.160 The stronger your relationship, the stronger your words can be. 00:27:52.279 --> 00:27:52.840 Right? 00:27:53.720 --> 00:27:55.240 But that works both ways. 00:27:55.460 --> 00:28:02.160 You shouldn't use stronger words than your relationship warrants, but you shouldn't use weaker words than your relationship warrants. 00:28:03.300 --> 00:28:03.779 Right? 00:28:03.860 --> 00:28:10.680 So mature love recognizing that sometimes it's worth risking the friendship for the sake of your friend. 00:28:10.680 --> 00:28:13.460 And that's a hard call to make. 00:28:14.340 --> 00:28:18.660 I've seen people make that call and I've seen extraordinary things happen. 00:28:19.740 --> 00:28:23.840 I've seen people make that call and hard things happen. 00:28:25.000 --> 00:28:31.279 You know, in my own life, in my own life, I had a really good friend years ago in this exact situation. 00:28:31.400 --> 00:28:32.960 It's why I thought of the example. 00:28:33.640 --> 00:28:38.480 And I did take the risk of questioning and saying, I'm not sure if this is the best thing. 00:28:38.539 --> 00:28:39.460 I think you guys should wait. 00:28:39.460 --> 00:28:40.640 And I lost the friend. 00:28:41.779 --> 00:28:42.960 And to this day, it breaks my heart. 00:28:43.039 --> 00:28:44.860 To this day, I grieve it. 00:28:46.039 --> 00:28:47.620 Because, you know, we're still Facebook friends. 00:28:49.200 --> 00:28:50.259 Whatever that means. 00:28:51.140 --> 00:28:52.079 And it's hard. 00:28:53.480 --> 00:28:57.980 But I'll tell you, it's nothing compared to what I've seen when people don't take that risk. 00:28:59.640 --> 00:29:00.799 It's worth it every time. 00:29:01.840 --> 00:29:03.279 That's what mature love means. 00:29:03.279 --> 00:29:06.399 Mature love also means this. 00:29:06.399 --> 00:29:10.339 Mature love says, I want the best for you, even if it costs me. 00:29:11.539 --> 00:29:13.819 I want the best for you, even if it costs me. 00:29:13.819 --> 00:29:18.579 So at the risk of oversimplifying, and I know this is going to sound very simplistic. 00:29:20.599 --> 00:29:26.299 I think that when I look at relationships with friends and coworkers and roommates, and if you're married, your spouse. 00:29:26.379 --> 00:29:27.299 If you have kids, your kids. 00:29:27.299 --> 00:29:45.039 I think that all of our interactions, all the little kind of exchanges that we have throughout our days and weeks, I think all of that can be boiled down to one decision that we are making over and over and over and over in a thousand different ways. 00:29:45.039 --> 00:29:46.399 And that's this. 00:29:47.099 --> 00:29:54.559 Either we are saying in that moment, I want you to grow and to benefit, even if it costs me. 00:29:55.180 --> 00:30:02.159 Or we are saying, I want you, I want to grow and I want to benefit, even if it costs you. 00:30:03.099 --> 00:30:03.500 Right? 00:30:03.579 --> 00:30:14.259 So when I flop down on the couch with my iPhone, what I'm actually saying is, it's, I want to benefit and have this time to myself, even though it's going to cost you time with your dad. 00:30:15.039 --> 00:30:15.759 Right? 00:30:16.159 --> 00:30:26.799 When I'm defensive and angry and try to win arguments with my wife, what I'm really saying is, it's more important for me to feel right than it is for you to feel loved. 00:30:27.500 --> 00:30:30.119 I want to benefit at your expense. 00:30:32.259 --> 00:30:37.819 So mature love says, I want you to benefit, even if it costs me. 00:30:38.779 --> 00:30:42.539 And mature love is willing to sacrifice to see that happen. 00:30:42.539 --> 00:30:47.460 And friends, the way that we know this is very simple. 00:30:47.559 --> 00:30:50.059 It's because this is exactly how Jesus loves us. 00:30:50.420 --> 00:30:50.539 Right? 00:30:50.920 --> 00:30:52.940 It's exactly how Jesus loves us. 00:30:55.000 --> 00:30:57.940 Jesus does not benefit from knowing us. 00:30:58.700 --> 00:30:59.299 Okay? 00:30:59.980 --> 00:31:02.059 We don't bring anything to the table. 00:31:03.420 --> 00:31:03.599 Right? 00:31:03.720 --> 00:31:07.920 Jesus doesn't, he's not waiting for us to kind of fulfill our end of the bargain. 00:31:07.920 --> 00:31:08.320 Right? 00:31:09.320 --> 00:31:11.180 There is absolutely no gain. 00:31:13.680 --> 00:31:16.140 He doesn't need anything from us. 00:31:17.800 --> 00:31:20.039 And yet, he's the one who looks at us and says, 00:31:20.039 --> 00:31:27.339 I gave up everything so that you could belong to me and be with me for all eternity. 00:31:28.899 --> 00:31:30.339 I did it all for you. 00:31:31.019 --> 00:31:35.940 To see you become the men and the women that I created you to be. 00:31:37.119 --> 00:31:39.680 Whatever it takes to see that happen. 00:31:39.680 --> 00:31:44.980 And the reason he does this is very simply because this is what love does. 00:31:45.759 --> 00:31:49.860 This is what mature, real, divine love looks like. 00:31:50.779 --> 00:31:55.140 So our prayer is that that same love, as it's been planted here, 00:31:55.680 --> 00:32:01.620 would grow more and more and more to reflect the character and the nature of the love that we have in Jesus Christ. 00:32:02.380 --> 00:32:03.100 Let's pray. 00:32:03.099 --> 00:32:11.179 Our Father, we recognize that our hope, again, is not in human words or wisdom. 00:32:12.539 --> 00:32:18.659 But it's in your word and the power of your spirit to implant that word and to make it grow. 00:32:18.819 --> 00:32:23.439 And so we pray that as we come more deeply to understand your words tonight, 00:32:24.299 --> 00:32:26.819 that the result would be that we grow in love. 00:32:26.939 --> 00:32:29.719 That this community would be marked more and more and more. 00:32:29.720 --> 00:32:35.200 not just with an abundance of love, but an abundance of Christ-like love. 00:32:35.620 --> 00:32:38.120 Mature, vitalized, healthy love. 00:32:38.200 --> 00:32:43.180 Love that reflects this supernatural love that has broken into the world 00:32:43.180 --> 00:32:45.600 and given us new lives and new hope. 00:32:46.519 --> 00:32:50.259 We pray this for our good Lord and ultimately for your glory. 00:32:50.420 --> 00:32:51.660 In your Son's name. Amen.