WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.300 Take your Bible, turn over to Colossians chapter 3. 00:00:02.839 --> 00:00:04.560 We're going to continue with our series. 00:00:04.560 --> 00:00:08.960 We're going to move from the man and his wife's relationship 00:00:08.960 --> 00:00:09.320 ! 00:00:30.000 --> 00:00:34.259 That's the reason in Genesis God told us to be fruitful and multiply. 00:00:34.780 --> 00:00:37.600 He didn't tell that to just random people. 00:00:37.679 --> 00:00:38.980 He told that to Adam and Eve. 00:00:40.259 --> 00:00:40.780 Why? 00:00:40.920 --> 00:00:44.000 Because he understood that that was the making of a family, 00:00:44.000 --> 00:00:52.000 and a family was the place that young people are not brought up to be children. 00:00:52.200 --> 00:00:53.299 They're brought up to be adults. 00:00:55.359 --> 00:00:57.900 And as we parent, that's a big thing to understand. 00:00:58.019 --> 00:00:59.359 You're not raising children. 00:01:00.600 --> 00:01:02.500 You know, I think we have a generation around us. 00:01:02.500 --> 00:01:04.700 You can see the results of people raising children. 00:01:06.319 --> 00:01:08.000 We want to raise adults. 00:01:08.579 --> 00:01:14.460 We want to raise those who are willing to go forth and to proclaim and stand for truth. 00:01:15.060 --> 00:01:21.299 You know, it's great to see our young people grow up and go off and take a stand and to do what's right. 00:01:22.099 --> 00:01:24.900 You know, it's a wonderful blessing to see those things. 00:01:24.900 --> 00:01:33.900 And when we see here that his ideal was for parents to do that, to raise children who feared God, responsible adults. 00:01:35.000 --> 00:01:37.340 You know, God's design was for that to happen. 00:01:37.340 --> 00:01:39.820 And we all say that sounds pretty simple, right? 00:01:40.439 --> 00:01:44.579 No, it's actually the most complex thing you're going to do. 00:01:44.579 --> 00:01:50.640 And this morning we're going to talk about a very important part of that, and that's going to be parenting with patience. 00:01:51.900 --> 00:01:52.579 You know what? 00:01:52.920 --> 00:01:56.340 Patience is something that seems to run out pretty quick. 00:01:56.340 --> 00:02:04.480 And when we grab a hold of that, because all we know is that parenting with patience is not easy. 00:02:05.020 --> 00:02:08.980 Because I want you to understand, parenting with patience will do one of two things. 00:02:09.080 --> 00:02:17.219 It'll either be the greatest gift you give as a parent, or the lack thereof could be one of the most destructive things. 00:02:17.219 --> 00:02:23.539 That destruction carries about because parenting has challenges. 00:02:23.659 --> 00:02:25.900 Every generation, parenting has challenges. 00:02:27.300 --> 00:02:30.840 You know, sometimes we try to think that, you know, we're a generation facing something. 00:02:30.960 --> 00:02:33.479 Well, really, we might face it differently. 00:02:35.259 --> 00:02:40.939 But the pressures of raising a family, doing those things, are always been there. 00:02:41.979 --> 00:02:45.500 That responsibility can get heavy sometimes. 00:02:45.500 --> 00:02:52.400 And it can get distracting for us in our mind because we're focused upon the one thing of supplying. 00:02:53.659 --> 00:03:03.400 And forget that as a parent, our primary isn't just supplying, but nurturing and raising up young people to be adults. 00:03:04.219 --> 00:03:07.719 And to understand the importance of that, I think, is critical. 00:03:07.719 --> 00:03:14.180 Because when parents are stretched to the limit, I mean, you think about the rainbow of activities. 00:03:14.180 --> 00:03:18.060 I mean, you're going one direction, another direction, this wants this, this wants that. 00:03:18.120 --> 00:03:18.840 You know what happens? 00:03:19.740 --> 00:03:20.939 Pretty soon you're tired. 00:03:22.939 --> 00:03:25.080 And if you're like me when you get tired, you know what? 00:03:25.080 --> 00:03:26.360 It's very easy to be impatient. 00:03:28.819 --> 00:03:33.740 To lose sight of some things because sometimes you might snap at something. 00:03:34.460 --> 00:03:36.420 You know, you might bark out. 00:03:36.419 --> 00:03:40.539 You might want to just let alone. 00:03:41.619 --> 00:03:46.739 You know, and we need to remember those things that when we're running on reserves, 00:03:47.539 --> 00:03:54.799 we have to go back and slow down and remember that God didn't call us to manufacture patience, 00:03:54.859 --> 00:03:56.060 but to rely upon Him. 00:03:56.939 --> 00:04:05.000 In those moments when you feel empty, we need to understand God offers His inexhaustible supply. 00:04:05.000 --> 00:04:08.659 You know, we're going to look at a very brief verse this morning. 00:04:09.639 --> 00:04:11.219 But yet it's a pretty packed verse. 00:04:12.159 --> 00:04:17.180 And the reality of it is very clear because its weight is enormous 00:04:17.180 --> 00:04:23.779 because it places between instructions for husbands and wives and children. 00:04:24.519 --> 00:04:28.360 Because I want you to understand what we're talking about here might be patience in raising children, 00:04:28.500 --> 00:04:29.060 but you know what? 00:04:29.420 --> 00:04:31.160 Both parents need to have patience. 00:04:31.160 --> 00:04:33.560 Even with one another. 00:04:34.320 --> 00:04:37.439 And when we understand the implications here this morning, 00:04:37.660 --> 00:04:39.800 we'll see this as we weigh it out. 00:04:40.060 --> 00:04:43.100 And He's going to speak specifically to the fathers. 00:04:43.400 --> 00:04:45.900 Because the father is the head of the home. 00:04:47.180 --> 00:04:50.260 Now, that's not a popular statement, but it's a reality. 00:04:52.460 --> 00:04:54.640 So goes the man, so goes the home. 00:04:54.639 --> 00:04:56.860 It weighs upon us. 00:04:56.919 --> 00:05:00.319 It's a responsibility that we ought to take seriously. 00:05:00.479 --> 00:05:03.740 So if you found Colossians chapter 3 this morning, let's stand together. 00:05:04.060 --> 00:05:07.719 As we read Colossians chapter 3, we look down here in verse 21. 00:05:09.259 --> 00:05:11.259 Notice this powerful little verse. 00:05:11.360 --> 00:05:11.959 It says this, 00:05:12.099 --> 00:05:18.339 Fathers, provoke not your children to anger lest they be discouraged. 00:05:18.339 --> 00:05:19.839 Let's pray. 00:05:19.939 --> 00:05:22.519 Heavenly Father, as we come before you this morning, Lord, 00:05:22.560 --> 00:05:25.279 as we just thank you and praise you for the day, for the opportunity, 00:05:25.779 --> 00:05:28.819 as we look into your word here today for a few moments, Lord, 00:05:28.879 --> 00:05:33.439 that we might just focus on the importance of patience. 00:05:33.899 --> 00:05:40.139 Not just the idea of patience, but Lord, even looking at how you're patient with us. 00:05:40.139 --> 00:05:45.680 Lord, we're thankful that you never get impatient with us. 00:05:46.899 --> 00:05:52.039 That you are merciful and gracious to us. 00:05:53.039 --> 00:05:58.219 Lord, help us be mindful of those things even amongst our own children and our families 00:05:58.219 --> 00:05:59.740 and just even with one another. 00:06:00.620 --> 00:06:03.199 Lord, that this, what we're looking at here this morning, Lord, 00:06:03.259 --> 00:06:06.360 we know applies across many spectrums of life. 00:06:06.360 --> 00:06:10.840 But Lord, help us to apply this even here today, Lord, 00:06:10.879 --> 00:06:16.340 that we might know the importance of relying upon you 00:06:16.340 --> 00:06:20.180 and seeing the importance of parenting with patience. 00:06:20.600 --> 00:06:22.819 And Lord, we ask it all in your precious name. 00:06:23.340 --> 00:06:23.660 Amen. 00:06:23.980 --> 00:06:24.500 May we be seated. 00:06:25.400 --> 00:06:28.580 You know, you think about the implications of this one verse. 00:06:29.340 --> 00:06:33.199 This one verse will transform a family. 00:06:33.199 --> 00:06:37.659 The application of this is critical to a family. 00:06:38.399 --> 00:06:40.819 Its dynamics are there. 00:06:40.939 --> 00:06:42.719 It begins, though, with a warning. 00:06:43.719 --> 00:06:44.959 You know, think about here. 00:06:45.039 --> 00:06:47.420 What it tells us is it begins here. 00:06:47.779 --> 00:06:52.439 It says, fathers, provoke not. 00:06:53.959 --> 00:06:55.599 It's given a warning here. 00:06:56.339 --> 00:06:59.599 You know, to avoid harshness that discourages children. 00:06:59.600 --> 00:07:03.760 You know, sometimes children feel unintentionally beat up because, 00:07:04.340 --> 00:07:08.340 now, I want you to understand when I make this statement that kids will be kids. 00:07:08.400 --> 00:07:09.939 I want to do it in the right context. 00:07:10.960 --> 00:07:12.220 Let me put it another way. 00:07:12.300 --> 00:07:14.020 The immature will act immature. 00:07:14.720 --> 00:07:19.840 We need to understand when it's immaturity that needs to become maturity. 00:07:19.839 --> 00:07:23.259 Because that's what we're working for. 00:07:23.459 --> 00:07:26.959 When your children act immature, why do they do that? 00:07:27.019 --> 00:07:28.199 Because they're not mature yet. 00:07:29.599 --> 00:07:31.839 That's part of your process that you're doing. 00:07:32.539 --> 00:07:36.779 Is you're raising them up, you're growing them up to maturity. 00:07:37.679 --> 00:07:41.519 And so when somebody that's immature acts immature, it ought not to surprise you. 00:07:43.019 --> 00:07:44.559 You know, it's kind of like I've said before. 00:07:44.959 --> 00:07:48.759 What a lost sinner that denies God does, doesn't surprise me. 00:07:48.759 --> 00:07:52.279 What surprises me is people who call upon the name of the Lord 00:07:52.279 --> 00:07:55.039 and want to identify with the Lord some of the things that they do. 00:07:56.259 --> 00:07:59.099 That bothers me way worse because they know better. 00:08:00.800 --> 00:08:03.639 When we understand the implication here, 00:08:04.060 --> 00:08:08.500 because the word provoke here means to stir up, to irritate, 00:08:08.579 --> 00:08:11.439 or to breed resentment by constant friction. 00:08:12.959 --> 00:08:15.039 You know, homes can be filled with friction. 00:08:15.040 --> 00:08:20.340 But I want you to understand, what we're talking about here is not just like a single explosion. 00:08:20.860 --> 00:08:25.560 Because sometimes you just get to your wit's end and you say or do something you shouldn't do. 00:08:26.060 --> 00:08:28.180 A single time you can come and apologize. 00:08:30.020 --> 00:08:31.280 Which you ought to do. 00:08:31.780 --> 00:08:34.720 But when it becomes a pattern of constant friction, 00:08:34.879 --> 00:08:40.180 it causes a heartache not only for you, but for the kids in a home. 00:08:40.179 --> 00:08:46.099 When we see this being played out within families, even all around us, 00:08:46.459 --> 00:08:52.559 it's this steady drip of harshness, criticism, inconsistency, and dismissal 00:08:52.559 --> 00:08:55.959 that slowly fills a child's heart with bitterness. 00:08:56.819 --> 00:09:01.519 You know, the problem today, we have a lot of bitter adults because they had bitter childhoods. 00:09:01.519 --> 00:09:07.559 There was a bitterness of what happened because, as a parent, 00:09:07.840 --> 00:09:13.019 we failed in having the right patience of representing who God is 00:09:13.019 --> 00:09:15.939 and God's mercy that he had upon us. 00:09:16.960 --> 00:09:20.519 You know, God's mercy upon us is something we ought to be thankful for. 00:09:21.100 --> 00:09:23.319 When we understand that picture, 00:09:23.740 --> 00:09:25.740 because, you know, there's a parallel passage 00:09:25.740 --> 00:09:29.539 that we find over in Ephesians chapter 6 and verse 4, 00:09:29.539 --> 00:09:32.360 where Paul tells the church at Ephesus, he says, 00:09:32.439 --> 00:09:32.839 and he says, 00:09:32.939 --> 00:09:36.399 And ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath, 00:09:36.699 --> 00:09:40.360 but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. 00:09:41.139 --> 00:09:45.120 You know, to do what God would have for you to do. 00:09:45.480 --> 00:09:48.579 You know, when we understand that God gives us a command 00:09:48.579 --> 00:09:52.159 to apply those things properly. 00:09:52.759 --> 00:09:55.259 But, you know, one of the things that happens is sometimes 00:09:55.259 --> 00:10:00.659 we put forth a lack of engagement as having patience. 00:10:01.860 --> 00:10:04.319 You know, if you go to the Old Testament in Samuel, 00:10:05.340 --> 00:10:09.559 1 Samuel, you'll find a man there by the name of Eli. 00:10:11.139 --> 00:10:15.460 1 Samuel chapter 2 and chapter 3 talks about Eli. 00:10:15.460 --> 00:10:19.319 Now, Eli rebuked his sons, 00:10:19.320 --> 00:10:25.000 but the scripture says he restrained them not. 00:10:25.700 --> 00:10:29.379 Chapter 3 and verse 13 tells us that his problem was, 00:10:29.720 --> 00:10:31.020 is he restrained them not. 00:10:31.040 --> 00:10:33.200 In other words, he spoke without enforcement. 00:10:34.000 --> 00:10:35.020 You know what I think it was? 00:10:35.080 --> 00:10:37.500 He told them and he didn't want the continued conflict. 00:10:38.900 --> 00:10:42.420 And instead of having the patience to work it through, 00:10:43.360 --> 00:10:44.740 he ignored it. 00:10:44.740 --> 00:10:50.200 He let it go to avoid the conflict that was taking place. 00:10:50.899 --> 00:10:52.659 You know, we want you to understand 00:10:52.659 --> 00:10:55.580 that words are not just patience, 00:10:55.720 --> 00:10:59.779 but it's the consistency that produces what we want to see. 00:11:00.060 --> 00:11:02.919 Because Eli's failure was not cruelty, 00:11:03.100 --> 00:11:05.580 it was a soft, permissive disengagement. 00:11:06.720 --> 00:11:09.399 You know, you can be disengaged and be impatient 00:11:09.399 --> 00:11:12.500 because you say, I don't want to face the challenge. 00:11:12.500 --> 00:11:15.679 We need men and women of God that are going to stand up 00:11:15.679 --> 00:11:18.919 and say, I'm going to face the challenge that's there, 00:11:19.000 --> 00:11:21.100 not in my power, but in God's power. 00:11:21.600 --> 00:11:23.580 To say, no matter what's before me, 00:11:23.639 --> 00:11:28.320 I have a responsibility in that to do those things properly. 00:11:29.340 --> 00:11:31.340 You know, when you think about it, 00:11:31.379 --> 00:11:34.639 there's frustration that shows up in your parenting. 00:11:34.799 --> 00:11:36.759 You know, that shows up in all sorts of ways, 00:11:36.779 --> 00:11:37.600 like our tone. 00:11:37.600 --> 00:11:42.700 You know what, your tone says more than even the words. 00:11:44.720 --> 00:11:45.980 You know, I think sometimes we forget 00:11:45.980 --> 00:11:47.940 how powerful your tone is. 00:11:48.480 --> 00:11:52.060 The tone in which we use a word makes a difference. 00:11:53.159 --> 00:11:56.399 To control our speech is critical. 00:11:57.159 --> 00:12:02.300 To understand that dynamic, that picture that is before us, 00:12:02.360 --> 00:12:03.660 your words are important, 00:12:03.940 --> 00:12:06.360 but your availability is important. 00:12:06.360 --> 00:12:09.000 You know, sometimes when we're frustrated, 00:12:09.139 --> 00:12:10.300 we become disconnected. 00:12:11.580 --> 00:12:14.680 I think Eli may have been frustrated with his sons, 00:12:14.960 --> 00:12:16.480 and he just sort of disconnected. 00:12:17.759 --> 00:12:20.379 Disengagement is another problem 00:12:20.379 --> 00:12:23.440 because you have a responsibility 00:12:23.440 --> 00:12:28.060 to patiently work through those things. 00:12:29.340 --> 00:12:31.320 You know, I want to encourage you this week 00:12:31.320 --> 00:12:33.680 when your patience comes to an end, 00:12:33.679 --> 00:12:35.500 to take a moment to ask the Lord, 00:12:35.579 --> 00:12:39.719 Lord, show me how to have what I need in this moment, 00:12:40.519 --> 00:12:44.500 just as you've given to me that patience. 00:12:45.019 --> 00:12:46.679 That you've shown towards me 00:12:46.679 --> 00:12:49.500 because God is patient with us. 00:12:49.899 --> 00:12:53.339 But secondly, we see in the last part of this verse, 00:12:53.419 --> 00:12:54.899 here looking back in verse 21, 00:12:55.419 --> 00:12:56.579 it tells us this. 00:12:56.579 --> 00:12:57.299 It says, 00:12:57.500 --> 00:12:59.479 lest they be discouraged. 00:12:59.480 --> 00:13:01.759 You know, I want you to understand, 00:13:02.200 --> 00:13:04.300 we ought not to discourage our children, 00:13:04.440 --> 00:13:07.740 but to encourage and hope in them. 00:13:07.960 --> 00:13:11.039 You know, when we realize the result Paul warns against 00:13:11.039 --> 00:13:12.820 is the children being discouraged. 00:13:13.379 --> 00:13:15.620 It means broken in spirit, 00:13:16.220 --> 00:13:17.379 to lose heart. 00:13:18.340 --> 00:13:20.759 You know, oftentimes kids can lose heart 00:13:20.759 --> 00:13:22.379 because of their parents' actions. 00:13:23.200 --> 00:13:25.340 How the home that they grew up in. 00:13:25.340 --> 00:13:27.080 Because I want you to understand, 00:13:27.240 --> 00:13:28.759 as a parent, your job, 00:13:29.120 --> 00:13:30.759 your task in parenting 00:13:30.759 --> 00:13:33.460 is not only to correct wrong, 00:13:33.560 --> 00:13:34.940 but to inspire right. 00:13:36.420 --> 00:13:37.960 You know, sometimes we forget that, 00:13:38.019 --> 00:13:38.800 that it's not just, 00:13:39.300 --> 00:13:40.800 you're wrong, you're wrong, you're wrong. 00:13:40.960 --> 00:13:42.780 It's, this is what's right. 00:13:42.879 --> 00:13:43.660 This is what's right. 00:13:43.759 --> 00:13:44.680 This is what's right. 00:13:46.879 --> 00:13:48.000 The kids need, 00:13:48.080 --> 00:13:49.480 that's patient parenting. 00:13:49.940 --> 00:13:51.180 When we understand, 00:13:51.300 --> 00:13:53.139 the children need to know that they're loved, 00:13:53.139 --> 00:13:55.059 they're capable and they're valued, 00:13:55.159 --> 00:13:56.240 that they're believed in, 00:13:56.419 --> 00:13:58.259 they need to hear it from their parents. 00:13:59.299 --> 00:14:01.600 You know, we have a lot of broken kids today 00:14:01.600 --> 00:14:04.899 because of parents that disengaged 00:14:04.899 --> 00:14:07.000 or were impatient with the situations. 00:14:07.779 --> 00:14:09.699 Now we're going to talk about that in just a moment 00:14:09.699 --> 00:14:13.960 because if you live through that experience as a child, 00:14:14.679 --> 00:14:16.279 it doesn't give you an excuse 00:14:16.279 --> 00:14:18.899 to not do what's right now. 00:14:19.139 --> 00:14:20.240 I want you to understand, 00:14:20.419 --> 00:14:21.759 I'm not telling you you have a, 00:14:21.759 --> 00:14:23.419 well, my parents were this or that. 00:14:23.480 --> 00:14:24.220 It doesn't matter. 00:14:24.759 --> 00:14:26.860 Take it as a learning experience 00:14:26.860 --> 00:14:30.559 and say, I want to do something right. 00:14:32.220 --> 00:14:34.200 I want to invest in that what's right. 00:14:34.279 --> 00:14:36.399 I know what's wrong, now let me do right. 00:14:38.379 --> 00:14:40.500 That's understanding with patience 00:14:40.500 --> 00:14:42.539 to apply those things, 00:14:42.600 --> 00:14:43.779 to take the good things. 00:14:44.179 --> 00:14:46.379 But parenting, we know, 00:14:46.460 --> 00:14:49.360 has changed even the mindset in our generation 00:14:49.360 --> 00:14:51.759 because in our culture today, 00:14:51.759 --> 00:14:53.519 we have an idea that parents 00:14:53.519 --> 00:14:57.840 is totally contrary to what the Bible says 00:14:57.840 --> 00:14:58.840 because, you know, 00:14:58.879 --> 00:15:01.539 we went from a few generations ago 00:15:01.539 --> 00:15:03.460 of extremely strict parenting. 00:15:04.779 --> 00:15:05.960 I want you to understand, 00:15:06.120 --> 00:15:08.919 over-strict parenting can be just as big a problem 00:15:08.919 --> 00:15:10.159 as permissive parenting. 00:15:11.159 --> 00:15:12.580 But you know what we seem to do? 00:15:12.639 --> 00:15:13.519 We love doing this. 00:15:13.519 --> 00:15:19.159 You know, the pendulum seems to never stop in the middle. 00:15:19.799 --> 00:15:22.120 I want you to understand the extremes. 00:15:23.500 --> 00:15:25.279 Usually when you have two extremes, 00:15:25.279 --> 00:15:27.399 you can find the right place about the middle. 00:15:29.000 --> 00:15:30.659 Because it's a balance of both. 00:15:30.799 --> 00:15:32.819 Because you know why we swing extremes? 00:15:32.919 --> 00:15:34.600 Because there's truth attached to it. 00:15:35.960 --> 00:15:36.399 You know what? 00:15:36.399 --> 00:15:38.159 In our generation, 00:15:38.399 --> 00:15:41.399 we find that we went from strict rules 00:15:41.399 --> 00:15:44.519 and authority without affection. 00:15:45.100 --> 00:15:48.899 That harsh dynamic that was received as unloving 00:15:48.899 --> 00:15:51.720 is no more biblical than what came after it 00:15:51.720 --> 00:15:55.699 because culture shifted from a strict dynamic. 00:15:56.100 --> 00:15:58.519 The pendulum swung so hard the other way 00:15:58.519 --> 00:15:59.559 and it's landed. 00:15:59.620 --> 00:16:01.179 You know what the official name for it 00:16:01.179 --> 00:16:02.759 is called therapeutic parenting, 00:16:03.419 --> 00:16:04.419 gentle parenting. 00:16:04.419 --> 00:16:07.079 I want you to understand this approach 00:16:07.079 --> 00:16:10.799 that makes the child's feelings and self-esteem 00:16:10.799 --> 00:16:11.979 the center of everything. 00:16:13.779 --> 00:16:14.599 You know what? 00:16:14.639 --> 00:16:15.620 I want you to understand 00:16:15.620 --> 00:16:20.860 that your child's feelings and self-esteem 00:16:20.860 --> 00:16:23.019 are not the center of the universe. 00:16:24.099 --> 00:16:26.179 Because what it's caused is kids 00:16:26.179 --> 00:16:28.439 who think they are the center of the universe. 00:16:29.959 --> 00:16:32.179 Well, mommy always treated me that way. 00:16:32.179 --> 00:16:34.439 Then they get out in the real world 00:16:34.439 --> 00:16:34.839 and they're like, 00:16:34.899 --> 00:16:35.899 where'd this come from? 00:16:37.000 --> 00:16:37.519 You know what? 00:16:37.959 --> 00:16:38.899 Life's going to be hard 00:16:38.899 --> 00:16:40.139 and you better prepare them 00:16:40.139 --> 00:16:41.219 for what they're going to face. 00:16:42.179 --> 00:16:44.339 But you need to do it in a loving way 00:16:44.339 --> 00:16:46.879 that they can mature in that 00:16:46.879 --> 00:16:48.599 because when we understand 00:16:48.599 --> 00:16:50.019 that yes, 00:16:50.079 --> 00:16:51.699 it was a counterbalance 00:16:51.699 --> 00:16:53.079 to over strictness 00:16:53.079 --> 00:16:55.059 without relationship and love 00:16:55.059 --> 00:16:56.099 to saying, 00:16:56.219 --> 00:16:57.279 well, I'm so loving, 00:16:57.359 --> 00:16:58.659 I'm going to let them do whatever they want. 00:16:58.919 --> 00:16:59.139 You know what? 00:16:59.139 --> 00:17:01.799 Permissive parenting causes just as much damage 00:17:01.799 --> 00:17:03.860 as the over-restricted parenting. 00:17:04.400 --> 00:17:05.900 I want you to understand 00:17:05.900 --> 00:17:07.639 what he's talking about here 00:17:07.639 --> 00:17:08.859 because it's, 00:17:09.099 --> 00:17:11.440 when we understand this picture, 00:17:11.559 --> 00:17:12.240 it's important 00:17:12.240 --> 00:17:14.279 because it swung past 00:17:14.279 --> 00:17:15.619 biblical encouragement 00:17:15.619 --> 00:17:17.039 into something different. 00:17:17.359 --> 00:17:20.319 It swung from encouraging our children 00:17:20.319 --> 00:17:22.000 but yet correcting them 00:17:22.000 --> 00:17:23.559 to swinging to a direction 00:17:23.559 --> 00:17:25.559 of affirmation without correction. 00:17:26.480 --> 00:17:28.379 Children are told they're always right. 00:17:28.380 --> 00:17:31.220 always enough, 00:17:31.360 --> 00:17:32.360 always the center. 00:17:32.900 --> 00:17:33.800 You know what it produces 00:17:33.800 --> 00:17:34.720 and we see it today? 00:17:35.900 --> 00:17:37.160 High self-esteem 00:17:37.160 --> 00:17:38.500 with low resilience. 00:17:39.880 --> 00:17:41.580 As soon as life gets hard, 00:17:41.680 --> 00:17:42.120 they're done. 00:17:42.840 --> 00:17:43.820 God wants us 00:17:43.820 --> 00:17:45.340 to have the right balance 00:17:45.340 --> 00:17:46.260 in that. 00:17:46.580 --> 00:17:47.680 We need to correct 00:17:47.680 --> 00:17:49.320 but we also need 00:17:49.320 --> 00:17:50.700 to affirm and to love. 00:17:51.460 --> 00:17:52.620 And those need to happen 00:17:52.620 --> 00:17:53.560 simultaneously. 00:17:53.559 --> 00:17:55.940 That's a balance 00:17:55.940 --> 00:17:56.899 that we find 00:17:56.899 --> 00:17:58.440 in the Bible. 00:17:59.119 --> 00:17:59.379 You know, 00:17:59.480 --> 00:18:00.440 when we see 00:18:00.440 --> 00:18:01.539 the picture 00:18:01.539 --> 00:18:03.259 that is brought forth 00:18:03.259 --> 00:18:05.299 because godly parenting 00:18:05.299 --> 00:18:07.220 comes from genuine love, 00:18:07.379 --> 00:18:09.179 not merely with connecting 00:18:09.179 --> 00:18:10.220 with their feelings. 00:18:10.579 --> 00:18:12.119 Because love and truth 00:18:12.119 --> 00:18:13.519 are tied together. 00:18:13.700 --> 00:18:14.819 Love is not driven 00:18:14.819 --> 00:18:16.339 for your own benefit 00:18:16.339 --> 00:18:17.940 but for the benefit of others. 00:18:18.339 --> 00:18:19.399 And that is the truth 00:18:19.399 --> 00:18:19.559 established 00:18:19.559 --> 00:18:21.279 by the word of God. 00:18:21.839 --> 00:18:21.980 You know, 00:18:21.980 --> 00:18:23.319 I want you to see that picture. 00:18:23.579 --> 00:18:25.500 2 Timothy chapter 3 00:18:25.500 --> 00:18:26.519 tells us this. 00:18:26.620 --> 00:18:26.779 It says, 00:18:26.900 --> 00:18:27.960 all scripture is given 00:18:27.960 --> 00:18:29.420 by inspiration of God 00:18:29.420 --> 00:18:30.860 and is profitable 00:18:30.860 --> 00:18:31.740 for doctrine, 00:18:31.860 --> 00:18:32.420 that's teaching, 00:18:32.539 --> 00:18:33.299 for reproof, 00:18:33.440 --> 00:18:34.200 for correction, 00:18:34.339 --> 00:18:35.059 for instruction 00:18:35.059 --> 00:18:35.880 in righteousness 00:18:35.880 --> 00:18:37.519 that the man of God 00:18:37.519 --> 00:18:38.420 may be perfect, 00:18:38.620 --> 00:18:39.940 thoroughly finished 00:18:39.940 --> 00:18:41.360 unto all good works. 00:18:43.579 --> 00:18:44.460 I want you to understand, 00:18:44.620 --> 00:18:45.819 godly instruction 00:18:45.819 --> 00:18:47.319 corrects 00:18:47.319 --> 00:18:49.120 but it also lovingly guides. 00:18:49.119 --> 00:18:51.919 it doesn't just say 00:18:51.919 --> 00:18:52.500 you're wrong, 00:18:52.599 --> 00:18:53.000 you're wrong, 00:18:53.039 --> 00:18:53.539 you're wrong. 00:18:53.639 --> 00:18:54.000 It says, 00:18:54.539 --> 00:18:55.399 this is wrong 00:18:55.399 --> 00:18:56.839 and this is right. 00:18:58.619 --> 00:19:00.099 It shows them 00:19:00.099 --> 00:19:01.399 the counteraction. 00:19:02.059 --> 00:19:03.119 That's the balance 00:19:03.119 --> 00:19:04.039 that we find 00:19:04.039 --> 00:19:05.759 in the biblical example. 00:19:06.219 --> 00:19:06.379 You know, 00:19:06.399 --> 00:19:07.259 when we understand 00:19:07.259 --> 00:19:08.339 that example 00:19:08.339 --> 00:19:10.259 of love and truth 00:19:10.259 --> 00:19:11.119 in action. 00:19:12.199 --> 00:19:13.239 Because those two 00:19:13.239 --> 00:19:14.199 are tied together. 00:19:14.200 --> 00:19:15.559 when you're going 00:19:15.559 --> 00:19:16.600 to correct somebody 00:19:16.600 --> 00:19:17.740 you need to attach 00:19:17.740 --> 00:19:19.860 that positive direction. 00:19:20.640 --> 00:19:21.900 This is a problem, 00:19:22.860 --> 00:19:23.860 how do we fix it? 00:19:24.759 --> 00:19:24.960 You know, 00:19:25.000 --> 00:19:25.779 that's pretty simple 00:19:25.779 --> 00:19:26.360 understanding, 00:19:26.519 --> 00:19:26.660 isn't it? 00:19:26.680 --> 00:19:27.100 But sometimes 00:19:27.100 --> 00:19:27.559 it's harder 00:19:27.559 --> 00:19:28.779 than it sounds. 00:19:30.160 --> 00:19:31.100 Because you have to 00:19:31.100 --> 00:19:32.100 really think through 00:19:32.100 --> 00:19:32.840 what's happening. 00:19:33.500 --> 00:19:33.680 You know, 00:19:33.700 --> 00:19:35.100 a great example of this 00:19:35.100 --> 00:19:35.960 is a man 00:19:35.960 --> 00:19:37.059 by the name of Jethro. 00:19:37.840 --> 00:19:39.140 Jethro was Moses' 00:19:39.400 --> 00:19:40.080 father-in-law. 00:19:41.460 --> 00:19:41.700 You know, 00:19:41.960 --> 00:19:43.160 you'll find this account, 00:19:43.160 --> 00:19:43.800 we don't have time 00:19:43.800 --> 00:19:44.200 this morning 00:19:44.200 --> 00:19:45.140 to get all into it, 00:19:45.180 --> 00:19:46.519 but Exodus chapter 18, 00:19:47.140 --> 00:19:48.140 you'll find here 00:19:48.140 --> 00:19:49.380 that Jethro noticed 00:19:49.380 --> 00:19:50.360 something happening 00:19:50.360 --> 00:19:51.700 with Moses, 00:19:52.040 --> 00:19:53.080 but he didn't come 00:19:53.080 --> 00:19:54.180 and condemn Moses 00:19:54.180 --> 00:19:56.100 for how he was leading. 00:19:56.220 --> 00:19:57.300 He encouraged him 00:19:57.300 --> 00:19:59.120 and he promoted 00:19:59.120 --> 00:20:00.800 and affirmed him 00:20:00.800 --> 00:20:01.720 in the right way 00:20:01.720 --> 00:20:03.340 and then redirected him 00:20:03.340 --> 00:20:04.460 towards a better way. 00:20:05.040 --> 00:20:06.380 And Moses received 00:20:06.380 --> 00:20:07.040 his counsel 00:20:07.040 --> 00:20:07.940 because it came 00:20:07.940 --> 00:20:08.519 from a man 00:20:08.519 --> 00:20:10.320 who valued Moses 00:20:10.320 --> 00:20:11.600 but also valued 00:20:11.600 --> 00:20:12.660 the things of God. 00:20:12.660 --> 00:20:13.800 encouragement 00:20:13.800 --> 00:20:15.040 earns the right 00:20:15.040 --> 00:20:15.720 to direct. 00:20:18.019 --> 00:20:19.440 When Jethro came, 00:20:19.519 --> 00:20:19.779 he says, 00:20:19.880 --> 00:20:20.279 Moses, 00:20:20.519 --> 00:20:21.840 the way you're leading, 00:20:22.019 --> 00:20:23.540 you're burning yourself down 00:20:23.540 --> 00:20:24.640 trying to be everything 00:20:24.640 --> 00:20:25.340 to everybody. 00:20:27.140 --> 00:20:28.160 And Jethro says, 00:20:28.240 --> 00:20:28.440 hey, 00:20:29.240 --> 00:20:30.480 you do the oversight 00:20:30.480 --> 00:20:31.300 and you bring forth 00:20:31.300 --> 00:20:32.040 other men 00:20:32.040 --> 00:20:32.980 that are able 00:20:32.980 --> 00:20:33.980 to carry the load. 00:20:35.620 --> 00:20:36.880 And when he explained 00:20:36.880 --> 00:20:37.540 it to Moses, 00:20:37.720 --> 00:20:38.220 Moses goes, 00:20:38.320 --> 00:20:38.460 wow, 00:20:38.519 --> 00:20:39.300 that's a pretty good idea. 00:20:39.640 --> 00:20:40.779 How did that happen? 00:20:40.779 --> 00:20:42.440 Because correction, 00:20:42.759 --> 00:20:43.720 there was a problem, 00:20:44.339 --> 00:20:46.240 but lovingly directed 00:20:46.240 --> 00:20:46.700 to say, 00:20:46.799 --> 00:20:46.940 hey, 00:20:47.039 --> 00:20:48.039 here's a solution 00:20:48.039 --> 00:20:50.639 from what's wrong 00:20:50.639 --> 00:20:51.480 to what's right. 00:20:52.480 --> 00:20:54.099 When we see that picture 00:20:54.099 --> 00:20:55.240 being played out, 00:20:55.680 --> 00:20:55.920 you know, 00:20:56.099 --> 00:20:56.920 do you think about 00:20:56.920 --> 00:20:57.480 this morning 00:20:57.480 --> 00:20:58.680 as you look through, 00:20:58.980 --> 00:20:59.660 do your children 00:20:59.660 --> 00:21:00.960 hear more correction 00:21:00.960 --> 00:21:01.839 than encouragement 00:21:01.839 --> 00:21:02.619 from you? 00:21:03.720 --> 00:21:03.980 You know, 00:21:04.059 --> 00:21:05.299 we need to correct them, 00:21:05.359 --> 00:21:06.160 but you also need 00:21:06.160 --> 00:21:07.119 to encourage them. 00:21:07.119 --> 00:21:09.339 When you see something right, 00:21:09.500 --> 00:21:10.059 tell them that. 00:21:12.519 --> 00:21:12.959 You know, 00:21:13.000 --> 00:21:13.759 sometimes it's one 00:21:13.759 --> 00:21:14.299 of those things, 00:21:14.559 --> 00:21:15.500 if they went ahead 00:21:15.500 --> 00:21:16.699 and they did their chores, 00:21:16.819 --> 00:21:17.000 hey, 00:21:17.079 --> 00:21:18.359 thanks for doing your chores, 00:21:18.419 --> 00:21:19.119 that was good. 00:21:21.419 --> 00:21:21.859 You know, 00:21:21.879 --> 00:21:22.819 oftentimes we look 00:21:22.819 --> 00:21:23.259 at the other one 00:21:23.259 --> 00:21:23.399 and say, 00:21:23.439 --> 00:21:23.519 well, 00:21:23.539 --> 00:21:24.439 that was just expected. 00:21:26.539 --> 00:21:27.179 But you know what, 00:21:27.179 --> 00:21:28.039 a word of encouragement 00:21:28.039 --> 00:21:28.939 goes a long way. 00:21:30.699 --> 00:21:32.259 It goes a long way 00:21:32.259 --> 00:21:33.920 and also when it comes 00:21:33.920 --> 00:21:35.039 time to correct, 00:21:35.200 --> 00:21:36.579 there's also a relationship 00:21:36.579 --> 00:21:37.619 that's been built 00:21:37.619 --> 00:21:39.579 that has a connection 00:21:39.579 --> 00:21:40.819 that they'll hear. 00:21:41.740 --> 00:21:42.579 Because as we're going 00:21:42.579 --> 00:21:43.500 to look here today, 00:21:43.579 --> 00:21:44.519 I want you to understand 00:21:44.519 --> 00:21:45.480 we need to model 00:21:45.480 --> 00:21:46.579 God's patience 00:21:46.579 --> 00:21:47.960 in our parenting. 00:21:49.559 --> 00:21:49.740 You know, 00:21:49.779 --> 00:21:50.339 take a look over 00:21:50.339 --> 00:21:51.259 to Psalm 103 00:21:51.259 --> 00:21:51.980 for a moment. 00:21:52.539 --> 00:21:53.440 Psalm 103 00:21:53.440 --> 00:21:55.019 in verse 8, 00:21:55.379 --> 00:21:56.400 Bible tells us 00:21:56.400 --> 00:21:57.519 something about God 00:21:57.519 --> 00:21:59.059 and even our relationship 00:21:59.059 --> 00:21:59.720 to Him 00:21:59.720 --> 00:22:01.079 and how He looks 00:22:01.079 --> 00:22:01.859 at us. 00:22:02.259 --> 00:22:03.180 How He looks 00:22:03.180 --> 00:22:03.879 at people. 00:22:05.559 --> 00:22:05.819 You know, 00:22:05.940 --> 00:22:06.839 because sometimes 00:22:06.839 --> 00:22:07.519 this verse 00:22:07.519 --> 00:22:08.299 is a good one 00:22:08.299 --> 00:22:08.920 as a parent 00:22:08.920 --> 00:22:09.720 to think about 00:22:09.720 --> 00:22:11.119 in those moments. 00:22:11.240 --> 00:22:11.400 You know, 00:22:11.420 --> 00:22:12.059 this is one of those 00:22:12.059 --> 00:22:13.180 when you feel impatient, 00:22:14.160 --> 00:22:14.839 write this on a 00:22:14.839 --> 00:22:15.680 three-by-five card 00:22:15.680 --> 00:22:16.099 and pull this 00:22:16.099 --> 00:22:16.799 out of your pocket 00:22:16.799 --> 00:22:17.400 for a moment 00:22:17.400 --> 00:22:19.460 before you react. 00:22:19.539 --> 00:22:20.779 Notice what God says. 00:22:21.140 --> 00:22:21.500 He says, 00:22:21.680 --> 00:22:23.460 the Lord is merciful 00:22:23.460 --> 00:22:25.059 and gracious, 00:22:25.299 --> 00:22:26.099 slow to anger 00:22:26.099 --> 00:22:26.960 and plenteous 00:22:26.960 --> 00:22:28.299 in mercy. 00:22:28.940 --> 00:22:29.140 You know, 00:22:29.160 --> 00:22:30.279 I want you to understand 00:22:30.279 --> 00:22:31.660 God's not indifferent 00:22:31.660 --> 00:22:32.700 to our failure 00:22:32.700 --> 00:22:33.759 but He's patient 00:22:33.759 --> 00:22:34.820 with our growth 00:22:34.820 --> 00:22:36.500 because sometimes 00:22:36.500 --> 00:22:38.500 the cycle of learning 00:22:38.500 --> 00:22:39.640 takes a few laps. 00:22:40.220 --> 00:22:40.440 You know, 00:22:40.480 --> 00:22:41.040 we like to think, 00:22:41.120 --> 00:22:41.180 well, 00:22:41.180 --> 00:22:42.060 I told you once, 00:22:42.400 --> 00:22:43.180 you ought to got it. 00:22:45.500 --> 00:22:46.019 You know, 00:22:46.019 --> 00:22:46.640 it's funny how 00:22:46.640 --> 00:22:47.360 as parents 00:22:47.360 --> 00:22:48.140 we apply that 00:22:48.140 --> 00:22:48.759 to our children 00:22:48.759 --> 00:22:49.519 but we don't apply 00:22:49.519 --> 00:22:50.220 it to ourselves. 00:22:50.779 --> 00:22:51.900 We need to apply it 00:22:51.900 --> 00:22:53.160 just to ourselves 00:22:53.160 --> 00:22:54.180 as much as 00:22:54.180 --> 00:22:55.080 we would to them 00:22:55.079 --> 00:22:58.480 to understand 00:22:58.480 --> 00:22:59.139 it's a lesson 00:22:59.139 --> 00:23:00.079 need taught again 00:23:00.079 --> 00:23:03.639 because, you know, 00:23:03.679 --> 00:23:04.259 we all learn 00:23:04.259 --> 00:23:05.079 in life that way. 00:23:05.179 --> 00:23:05.839 Sometimes we go, 00:23:06.319 --> 00:23:06.539 huh, 00:23:06.619 --> 00:23:07.379 I'm not going to do 00:23:07.379 --> 00:23:07.859 that again. 00:23:07.919 --> 00:23:08.659 Then you find yourself 00:23:08.659 --> 00:23:09.240 there again 00:23:09.240 --> 00:23:10.179 and the lesson 00:23:10.179 --> 00:23:10.899 starts again. 00:23:13.240 --> 00:23:14.039 The same way 00:23:14.039 --> 00:23:14.559 with children 00:23:14.559 --> 00:23:15.419 as they grow up 00:23:15.419 --> 00:23:15.879 there's going to be 00:23:15.879 --> 00:23:16.720 a lot of cycles 00:23:16.720 --> 00:23:17.379 of lessons 00:23:17.380 --> 00:23:19.800 and we need to learn 00:23:19.800 --> 00:23:20.820 to be patient 00:23:20.820 --> 00:23:23.300 because God is there. 00:23:23.640 --> 00:23:24.180 The parents 00:23:24.180 --> 00:23:25.800 who model God's patient 00:23:25.800 --> 00:23:27.660 become living pictures 00:23:27.660 --> 00:23:28.400 of God 00:23:28.400 --> 00:23:29.160 to their children. 00:23:29.600 --> 00:23:29.800 You know, 00:23:29.840 --> 00:23:30.240 I think we have 00:23:30.240 --> 00:23:30.960 a generation 00:23:30.960 --> 00:23:32.420 who hates God 00:23:32.420 --> 00:23:33.480 because of the picture 00:23:33.480 --> 00:23:35.120 of godly parents 00:23:35.120 --> 00:23:36.140 and God 00:23:36.140 --> 00:23:37.020 through the idea 00:23:37.020 --> 00:23:37.760 and the concepts 00:23:37.760 --> 00:23:38.340 of parenting 00:23:38.340 --> 00:23:39.340 that have taken place. 00:23:40.020 --> 00:23:40.820 When we see 00:23:40.820 --> 00:23:42.920 what God wants for us, 00:23:42.980 --> 00:23:43.120 you know, 00:23:43.160 --> 00:23:43.840 you think about 00:23:43.840 --> 00:23:45.640 the picture of God 00:23:45.640 --> 00:23:46.800 and the dynamic, 00:23:47.020 --> 00:23:47.160 you know, 00:23:47.160 --> 00:23:48.460 Luke chapter 15 00:23:48.460 --> 00:23:49.460 gives us a glimpse 00:23:49.460 --> 00:23:50.000 into that. 00:23:50.360 --> 00:23:51.900 There's a account there. 00:23:51.960 --> 00:23:52.740 He talks about 00:23:52.740 --> 00:23:54.460 the parable 00:23:54.460 --> 00:23:55.720 of the prodigal son. 00:23:57.279 --> 00:23:57.500 Now, 00:23:57.560 --> 00:23:58.200 the son made 00:23:58.200 --> 00:23:59.380 some very poor choices 00:23:59.380 --> 00:24:00.560 but, you know, 00:24:00.580 --> 00:24:01.600 there's something amazing 00:24:01.600 --> 00:24:02.519 in that picture 00:24:02.519 --> 00:24:05.560 that the dad 00:24:05.560 --> 00:24:08.140 never lost sight 00:24:08.140 --> 00:24:09.279 or lost hope 00:24:09.279 --> 00:24:11.700 of that child 00:24:11.700 --> 00:24:12.460 coming home. 00:24:13.120 --> 00:24:14.360 He was patiently 00:24:14.360 --> 00:24:15.560 waiting 00:24:15.559 --> 00:24:15.619 waiting. 00:24:17.399 --> 00:24:18.579 How do we know that? 00:24:18.659 --> 00:24:19.039 Because 00:24:19.039 --> 00:24:20.659 the Bible tells us, 00:24:20.700 --> 00:24:21.179 he gives us 00:24:21.179 --> 00:24:21.740 this picture 00:24:21.740 --> 00:24:24.179 when the father 00:24:24.179 --> 00:24:25.379 saw his son 00:24:25.379 --> 00:24:26.319 yet a great 00:24:26.319 --> 00:24:28.159 way off. 00:24:28.720 --> 00:24:28.859 You know, 00:24:28.859 --> 00:24:29.519 that's a little phrase 00:24:29.519 --> 00:24:30.200 you kind of miss 00:24:30.200 --> 00:24:30.819 sometimes. 00:24:31.359 --> 00:24:32.480 How do you see 00:24:32.480 --> 00:24:33.079 something 00:24:33.079 --> 00:24:34.039 way off? 00:24:34.500 --> 00:24:35.539 You're looking for it. 00:24:36.119 --> 00:24:36.500 You know what? 00:24:36.539 --> 00:24:37.359 We have a picture 00:24:37.359 --> 00:24:38.559 here in Luke 00:24:38.559 --> 00:24:39.399 of a father 00:24:39.399 --> 00:24:41.399 who was willing 00:24:41.399 --> 00:24:42.299 to wait. 00:24:42.299 --> 00:24:45.480 I imagine 00:24:45.480 --> 00:24:46.359 that if we wanted 00:24:46.359 --> 00:24:47.200 to apply it out, 00:24:47.279 --> 00:24:48.159 he was praying 00:24:48.159 --> 00:24:49.599 and thanking 00:24:49.599 --> 00:24:51.039 and wanting God 00:24:51.039 --> 00:24:51.879 to do a work 00:24:51.879 --> 00:24:52.379 and one day 00:24:52.379 --> 00:24:53.299 he sees his son 00:24:53.299 --> 00:24:53.960 return. 00:24:55.279 --> 00:24:55.700 He says, 00:24:55.779 --> 00:24:56.279 you had a great 00:24:56.279 --> 00:24:56.819 way off 00:24:56.819 --> 00:24:57.619 and he ran. 00:24:57.720 --> 00:24:58.339 He didn't make 00:24:58.339 --> 00:24:59.039 him grovel. 00:24:59.359 --> 00:24:59.759 He didn't say, 00:24:59.839 --> 00:25:00.019 son, 00:25:00.079 --> 00:25:01.039 you need to apologize. 00:25:01.619 --> 00:25:02.680 He greeted him 00:25:02.680 --> 00:25:03.039 and said, 00:25:03.119 --> 00:25:03.899 welcome home. 00:25:04.519 --> 00:25:04.740 You know what? 00:25:04.779 --> 00:25:05.440 That's parenting 00:25:05.440 --> 00:25:06.299 with patience. 00:25:06.879 --> 00:25:07.559 The picture 00:25:07.559 --> 00:25:08.759 that we see here, 00:25:09.259 --> 00:25:10.299 he celebrated 00:25:10.299 --> 00:25:12.000 his father's 00:25:12.000 --> 00:25:12.460 patience 00:25:12.460 --> 00:25:13.740 was not passive, 00:25:13.879 --> 00:25:14.740 it was active, 00:25:15.139 --> 00:25:16.159 hope sustained 00:25:16.159 --> 00:25:17.099 even through 00:25:17.099 --> 00:25:18.019 disappointment. 00:25:20.240 --> 00:25:20.480 You know, 00:25:20.539 --> 00:25:21.759 that's godly parenting 00:25:21.759 --> 00:25:22.500 is living 00:25:22.500 --> 00:25:23.379 through disappointment. 00:25:24.299 --> 00:25:24.419 You know, 00:25:24.480 --> 00:25:24.839 if you've, 00:25:25.839 --> 00:25:26.539 if your kids 00:25:26.539 --> 00:25:27.279 are older, 00:25:27.579 --> 00:25:27.879 you're going 00:25:27.879 --> 00:25:28.500 to understand 00:25:28.500 --> 00:25:28.919 your kids 00:25:28.919 --> 00:25:29.099 are going 00:25:29.099 --> 00:25:29.799 to disappoint you. 00:25:30.440 --> 00:25:30.779 Love them. 00:25:31.319 --> 00:25:31.680 Love them. 00:25:33.779 --> 00:25:34.379 Understand 00:25:34.379 --> 00:25:35.839 and stay there. 00:25:37.599 --> 00:25:38.460 I want to 00:25:38.460 --> 00:25:39.159 encourage you 00:25:39.160 --> 00:25:39.660 for the young 00:25:39.660 --> 00:25:40.660 parents in here. 00:25:41.220 --> 00:25:41.700 In your most 00:25:41.700 --> 00:25:42.880 frustrated parenting 00:25:42.880 --> 00:25:44.080 moment this week, 00:25:44.180 --> 00:25:44.620 ask, 00:25:45.100 --> 00:25:46.040 what would a patient 00:25:46.040 --> 00:25:47.019 father or mother 00:25:47.019 --> 00:25:47.779 do right now? 00:25:48.120 --> 00:25:48.660 That's a great 00:25:48.660 --> 00:25:49.160 question. 00:25:50.620 --> 00:25:51.259 To stop 00:25:51.259 --> 00:25:52.000 and to consider, 00:25:52.560 --> 00:25:53.519 then do what 00:25:53.519 --> 00:25:54.440 God would have 00:25:54.440 --> 00:25:55.040 for you to do. 00:25:55.540 --> 00:25:56.340 Trust God 00:25:56.340 --> 00:25:56.980 to work 00:25:56.980 --> 00:25:57.920 in your child 00:25:57.920 --> 00:25:58.940 what only 00:25:58.940 --> 00:26:00.440 he can do. 00:26:01.160 --> 00:26:02.200 We can guide 00:26:02.200 --> 00:26:03.080 and we can direct, 00:26:03.240 --> 00:26:03.940 but only the 00:26:03.940 --> 00:26:04.779 spirit of God 00:26:04.779 --> 00:26:05.540 through a faith 00:26:05.540 --> 00:26:06.500 in Jesus Christ 00:26:06.500 --> 00:26:07.320 can transform 00:26:07.320 --> 00:26:07.820 a child. 00:26:07.819 --> 00:26:09.359 You can lead 00:26:09.359 --> 00:26:09.899 them there, 00:26:10.039 --> 00:26:10.679 you can present 00:26:10.679 --> 00:26:11.480 the truth to them, 00:26:11.519 --> 00:26:11.919 but you know what? 00:26:11.939 --> 00:26:12.500 They have to make 00:26:12.500 --> 00:26:13.000 a choice. 00:26:13.720 --> 00:26:14.439 One of the problems 00:26:14.439 --> 00:26:15.319 we've had amongst 00:26:15.319 --> 00:26:16.259 people that 00:26:16.259 --> 00:26:17.460 profess to be 00:26:17.460 --> 00:26:18.200 Christians is they 00:26:18.200 --> 00:26:18.899 try to force 00:26:18.899 --> 00:26:19.579 their children 00:26:19.579 --> 00:26:20.960 to love God. 00:26:21.859 --> 00:26:22.839 You can teach 00:26:22.839 --> 00:26:23.599 them about God, 00:26:23.679 --> 00:26:24.419 you can display 00:26:24.419 --> 00:26:25.379 your love for God, 00:26:25.419 --> 00:26:26.119 but you can't make 00:26:26.119 --> 00:26:27.039 somebody love God. 00:26:27.579 --> 00:26:28.359 They have to have 00:26:28.359 --> 00:26:28.939 an encounter 00:26:28.939 --> 00:26:30.359 with the living 00:26:30.359 --> 00:26:30.740 God. 00:26:30.740 --> 00:26:34.400 when we understand 00:26:34.400 --> 00:26:35.620 and grasp on 00:26:35.620 --> 00:26:37.160 that application 00:26:37.160 --> 00:26:38.859 to trust him 00:26:38.859 --> 00:26:40.019 because when we 00:26:40.019 --> 00:26:40.980 understand that 00:26:40.980 --> 00:26:42.339 God is patient, 00:26:43.019 --> 00:26:43.980 God is a loving 00:26:43.980 --> 00:26:44.940 heavenly father 00:26:44.940 --> 00:26:45.599 that awaits 00:26:45.599 --> 00:26:46.960 a sinner to come. 00:26:47.500 --> 00:26:47.660 You know, 00:26:47.680 --> 00:26:48.519 the prodigal son 00:26:48.519 --> 00:26:49.480 is a great picture 00:26:49.480 --> 00:26:50.559 of God in heaven 00:26:50.559 --> 00:26:51.720 who wants to see 00:26:51.720 --> 00:26:53.519 a sinner come to him. 00:26:54.799 --> 00:26:55.759 That repent 00:26:55.759 --> 00:26:56.640 and want to turn 00:26:56.640 --> 00:26:57.140 to him 00:26:57.140 --> 00:26:58.559 and call upon him 00:26:58.559 --> 00:26:59.419 for salvation. 00:27:01.559 --> 00:27:01.740 You know, 00:27:01.799 --> 00:27:02.539 many people today 00:27:02.539 --> 00:27:03.679 get a picture of God. 00:27:03.779 --> 00:27:04.539 He's standing there 00:27:04.539 --> 00:27:05.539 ready to judge them. 00:27:05.599 --> 00:27:06.480 You know what God says? 00:27:06.659 --> 00:27:08.139 I want to prevent you 00:27:08.139 --> 00:27:09.139 from having to face 00:27:09.139 --> 00:27:09.659 judgment 00:27:09.659 --> 00:27:10.879 because there is 00:27:10.879 --> 00:27:11.559 coming a day 00:27:11.559 --> 00:27:12.159 that God's going 00:27:12.159 --> 00:27:13.119 to hold you to account. 00:27:13.779 --> 00:27:14.519 But he says, 00:27:14.599 --> 00:27:15.419 the door is open. 00:27:15.500 --> 00:27:16.559 I want you to come. 00:27:18.099 --> 00:27:19.500 I want you to understand 00:27:19.500 --> 00:27:20.319 what it means 00:27:20.319 --> 00:27:21.519 to have a relationship 00:27:21.519 --> 00:27:23.019 with the one 00:27:23.019 --> 00:27:24.000 who created you. 00:27:25.480 --> 00:27:26.379 When a sinner 00:27:26.379 --> 00:27:27.179 recognizes 00:27:27.179 --> 00:27:28.319 that's what they are, 00:27:28.319 --> 00:27:29.059 that they've broken 00:27:29.059 --> 00:27:29.939 God's law 00:27:29.939 --> 00:27:31.039 and they stand 00:27:31.039 --> 00:27:32.279 condemned before God 00:27:32.279 --> 00:27:32.919 when they come 00:27:32.919 --> 00:27:34.200 and they call upon him. 00:27:34.759 --> 00:27:35.799 I want you to understand 00:27:35.799 --> 00:27:37.019 God's not waiting 00:27:37.019 --> 00:27:38.220 to beat you down. 00:27:38.519 --> 00:27:39.299 He's waiting 00:27:39.299 --> 00:27:40.379 with open arms 00:27:40.379 --> 00:27:41.079 to rejoice. 00:27:41.819 --> 00:27:42.399 I also want to 00:27:42.399 --> 00:27:43.359 encourage you today 00:27:43.359 --> 00:27:44.980 because we may have 00:27:44.980 --> 00:27:45.879 some among us 00:27:45.879 --> 00:27:46.779 that's very likely, 00:27:47.379 --> 00:27:47.879 matter of fact, 00:27:47.939 --> 00:27:49.339 it's probably a reality 00:27:49.339 --> 00:27:50.000 there's some 00:27:50.000 --> 00:27:50.679 who are wounded 00:27:50.679 --> 00:27:51.639 from their parents. 00:27:52.139 --> 00:27:52.500 You know what? 00:27:52.519 --> 00:27:54.039 You can carry a wound. 00:27:54.039 --> 00:27:57.039 When parents 00:27:57.039 --> 00:27:58.700 didn't find this balance 00:27:58.700 --> 00:27:59.579 that were too harsh 00:27:59.579 --> 00:28:00.440 or too absent 00:28:00.440 --> 00:28:01.720 or too quick 00:28:01.720 --> 00:28:02.440 to wound 00:28:02.440 --> 00:28:03.460 or slow 00:28:03.460 --> 00:28:04.539 to bless. 00:28:05.240 --> 00:28:06.220 I want you to hear 00:28:06.220 --> 00:28:07.139 something carefully. 00:28:07.259 --> 00:28:08.099 The same God 00:28:08.099 --> 00:28:09.159 who warns fathers 00:28:09.159 --> 00:28:09.879 not to provoke 00:28:09.879 --> 00:28:10.480 their children 00:28:10.480 --> 00:28:12.200 sees what was done 00:28:12.200 --> 00:28:12.659 to you 00:28:12.659 --> 00:28:13.659 and he doesn't ask 00:28:13.659 --> 00:28:14.240 you to pretend 00:28:14.240 --> 00:28:15.159 it didn't happen 00:28:15.159 --> 00:28:16.639 but he does ask 00:28:16.639 --> 00:28:17.379 you to not let 00:28:17.379 --> 00:28:18.059 the resentment 00:28:18.059 --> 00:28:19.279 harden into bitterness 00:28:19.279 --> 00:28:20.159 and poison 00:28:20.159 --> 00:28:21.500 your relationship 00:28:21.500 --> 00:28:22.259 with him 00:28:22.259 --> 00:28:22.920 and others. 00:28:23.539 --> 00:28:23.700 You know, 00:28:23.740 --> 00:28:24.779 forgiveness allows 00:28:24.779 --> 00:28:25.900 us to move forward. 00:28:26.519 --> 00:28:27.319 That applies 00:28:27.319 --> 00:28:28.220 in all areas 00:28:28.220 --> 00:28:29.059 of our life 00:28:29.059 --> 00:28:29.819 but especially 00:28:29.819 --> 00:28:30.460 when it comes 00:28:30.460 --> 00:28:31.259 to our families. 00:28:33.779 --> 00:28:36.140 Your earthly father 00:28:36.140 --> 00:28:37.079 may have failed 00:28:37.079 --> 00:28:37.759 the balance 00:28:37.759 --> 00:28:38.400 but I want you 00:28:38.400 --> 00:28:39.059 to understand 00:28:39.059 --> 00:28:40.099 your heavenly father 00:28:40.099 --> 00:28:40.819 never has. 00:28:41.319 --> 00:28:42.160 If you bring that 00:28:42.160 --> 00:28:42.859 to the Lord 00:28:42.859 --> 00:28:45.140 and forgive 00:28:45.140 --> 00:28:45.819 just as you've 00:28:45.819 --> 00:28:46.519 been forgiven, 00:28:48.259 --> 00:28:48.779 you know what? 00:28:48.839 --> 00:28:49.940 That's how relationships 00:28:49.940 --> 00:28:51.519 are mended and healed 00:28:51.519 --> 00:28:52.320 when it begins 00:28:52.320 --> 00:28:53.059 with forgiveness 00:28:53.059 --> 00:28:56.480 because forgiveness 00:28:56.480 --> 00:28:57.380 doesn't mean 00:28:57.380 --> 00:28:58.220 they merit it 00:28:58.220 --> 00:28:58.900 right now. 00:29:00.320 --> 00:29:00.840 Forgiveness 00:29:00.840 --> 00:29:01.720 is for you 00:29:01.720 --> 00:29:04.580 so that the wound 00:29:04.580 --> 00:29:05.519 that was done 00:29:05.519 --> 00:29:06.240 can be healed. 00:29:08.700 --> 00:29:09.580 I want you 00:29:09.580 --> 00:29:10.580 to understand that 00:29:10.580 --> 00:29:11.779 but for believers 00:29:11.779 --> 00:29:12.380 I want you 00:29:12.380 --> 00:29:13.080 to understand 00:29:13.080 --> 00:29:14.259 you parent 00:29:14.259 --> 00:29:15.299 from an overflow 00:29:15.299 --> 00:29:16.400 of what God 00:29:16.400 --> 00:29:17.580 has poured 00:29:17.580 --> 00:29:18.440 into you. 00:29:18.440 --> 00:29:19.660 when patience 00:29:19.660 --> 00:29:20.480 runs thin 00:29:20.480 --> 00:29:21.720 return to the father 00:29:21.720 --> 00:29:23.299 who was patient 00:29:23.299 --> 00:29:24.080 with you. 00:29:25.120 --> 00:29:25.799 You'll remember 00:29:25.799 --> 00:29:26.660 his mercies 00:29:26.660 --> 00:29:27.299 were new 00:29:27.299 --> 00:29:28.400 every morning. 00:29:29.740 --> 00:29:30.960 What a wonderful 00:29:30.960 --> 00:29:31.720 reality 00:29:31.720 --> 00:29:34.420 we have 00:29:34.420 --> 00:29:37.059 with a loving father. 00:29:37.559 --> 00:29:38.180 You know this morning 00:29:38.180 --> 00:29:38.759 what need 00:29:38.759 --> 00:29:39.600 do you have today? 00:29:41.400 --> 00:29:42.720 Is it a need 00:29:42.720 --> 00:29:43.279 to come 00:29:43.279 --> 00:29:44.000 to the one 00:29:44.000 --> 00:29:46.580 who died 00:29:46.580 --> 00:29:47.160 for you? 00:29:48.440 --> 00:29:48.940 That you might 00:29:48.940 --> 00:29:50.080 be reconciled 00:29:50.080 --> 00:29:50.740 to the father 00:29:50.740 --> 00:29:53.100 who lovingly 00:29:53.100 --> 00:29:53.860 came and gave 00:29:53.860 --> 00:29:55.039 all for your 00:29:55.039 --> 00:29:55.460 benefit? 00:29:57.660 --> 00:29:58.299 If you don't 00:29:58.299 --> 00:29:58.880 know Christ 00:29:58.880 --> 00:29:59.519 as your savior 00:29:59.519 --> 00:30:00.380 I encourage you 00:30:00.380 --> 00:30:00.740 that you might 00:30:00.740 --> 00:30:01.380 make that 00:30:01.380 --> 00:30:04.320 decision today. 00:30:04.320 --> 00:30:05.240 But if you're 00:30:05.240 --> 00:30:05.620 saved 00:30:05.620 --> 00:30:06.120 what's your 00:30:06.120 --> 00:30:06.779 relationships 00:30:06.779 --> 00:30:07.480 like? 00:30:09.180 --> 00:30:10.360 As a parent 00:30:10.360 --> 00:30:11.019 are you doing 00:30:11.019 --> 00:30:11.580 what you ought 00:30:11.580 --> 00:30:11.920 to do 00:30:11.920 --> 00:30:12.680 patiently 00:30:12.680 --> 00:30:15.759 loving them 00:30:15.759 --> 00:30:16.680 and correcting 00:30:16.680 --> 00:30:17.180 them 00:30:17.180 --> 00:30:18.680 and guiding 00:30:18.680 --> 00:30:19.240 them in the 00:30:19.240 --> 00:30:19.879 right direction? 00:30:22.180 --> 00:30:22.779 Maybe you're 00:30:22.779 --> 00:30:23.279 here today 00:30:23.279 --> 00:30:23.619 and you're 00:30:23.619 --> 00:30:24.299 carrying some 00:30:24.299 --> 00:30:24.720 bitterness 00:30:24.720 --> 00:30:25.559 or anger 00:30:25.559 --> 00:30:28.599 about decisions 00:30:28.599 --> 00:30:28.980 that were 00:30:28.980 --> 00:30:29.599 outside your 00:30:29.599 --> 00:30:30.039 control 00:30:30.039 --> 00:30:30.400 that were 00:30:30.400 --> 00:30:30.859 made 00:30:30.859 --> 00:30:33.500 as you 00:30:33.500 --> 00:30:33.940 were growing 00:30:33.940 --> 00:30:34.220 up. 00:30:34.299 --> 00:30:34.400 You know 00:30:34.400 --> 00:30:34.799 what the best 00:30:34.799 --> 00:30:35.099 thing you can 00:30:35.099 --> 00:30:35.480 do is let 00:30:35.480 --> 00:30:35.960 go of them 00:30:35.960 --> 00:30:36.240 and say 00:30:36.240 --> 00:30:37.019 God I want 00:30:37.019 --> 00:30:37.640 a new 00:30:37.640 --> 00:30:38.799 direction. 00:30:40.879 --> 00:30:41.500 As heads 00:30:41.500 --> 00:30:41.940 are bowed 00:30:41.940 --> 00:30:42.259 and eyes 00:30:42.259 --> 00:30:42.700 are closed 00:30:42.700 --> 00:30:43.180 this morning 00:30:43.180 --> 00:30:44.279 what about 00:30:44.279 --> 00:30:44.980 you today? 00:30:45.480 --> 00:30:45.900 There's a 00:30:45.900 --> 00:30:46.680 loving God 00:30:46.680 --> 00:30:47.740 that's waiting 00:30:47.740 --> 00:30:48.340 for you. 00:30:48.820 --> 00:30:49.080 Heavenly 00:30:49.080 --> 00:30:49.480 Fathers 00:30:49.480 --> 00:30:49.980 we just 00:30:49.980 --> 00:30:50.920 commit this 00:30:50.920 --> 00:30:51.400 time to 00:30:51.400 --> 00:30:51.779 you this 00:30:51.779 --> 00:30:52.120 morning 00:30:52.120 --> 00:30:52.440 Lord 00:30:52.440 --> 00:30:52.779 as we 00:30:52.779 --> 00:30:53.920 you know 00:30:53.920 --> 00:30:54.580 each heart 00:30:54.580 --> 00:30:56.100 here today 00:30:56.100 --> 00:30:56.759 Lord we pray 00:30:56.759 --> 00:30:57.180 that you just 00:30:57.180 --> 00:30:57.940 work mightily 00:30:57.940 --> 00:30:58.320 in each 00:30:58.320 --> 00:30:59.080 one. 00:30:59.740 --> 00:31:00.440 Lord we 00:31:00.440 --> 00:31:00.860 might be 00:31:00.860 --> 00:31:02.539 encouraged 00:31:02.539 --> 00:31:03.519 and strengthened 00:31:03.519 --> 00:31:05.360 because you 00:31:05.360 --> 00:31:06.080 are the one 00:31:06.080 --> 00:31:07.360 who is so 00:31:07.360 --> 00:31:08.259 merciful towards 00:31:08.259 --> 00:31:08.560 us 00:31:08.560 --> 00:31:09.759 patient with 00:31:09.759 --> 00:31:10.080 us. 00:31:11.039 --> 00:31:12.000 Lord we just 00:31:12.000 --> 00:31:12.620 love you and 00:31:12.620 --> 00:31:13.160 thank you and 00:31:13.160 --> 00:31:13.580 we just turn 00:31:13.580 --> 00:31:14.300 this time to 00:31:14.300 --> 00:31:14.700 you in 00:31:14.700 --> 00:31:15.500 Jesus name. 00:31:16.460 --> 00:31:17.100 As the piano 00:31:17.100 --> 00:31:17.680 plays what 00:31:17.680 --> 00:31:18.279 about you 00:31:18.279 --> 00:31:18.860 today? 00:31:20.060 --> 00:31:20.740 Is God 00:31:20.740 --> 00:31:21.340 speaking to 00:31:21.340 --> 00:31:21.680 you? 00:31:23.060 --> 00:31:23.620 Do you need 00:31:23.620 --> 00:31:24.160 to spend some 00:31:24.160 --> 00:31:24.620 time with 00:31:24.620 --> 00:31:24.880 him? 00:31:25.240 --> 00:31:25.460 Do you need 00:31:25.460 --> 00:31:26.019 to ask the 00:31:26.019 --> 00:31:26.820 Lord Lord give 00:31:26.820 --> 00:31:27.560 me the patience 00:31:27.560 --> 00:31:28.200 give me the 00:31:28.200 --> 00:31:28.840 understanding 00:31:28.840 --> 00:31:30.180 help me to 00:31:30.180 --> 00:31:32.660 have you as 00:31:32.660 --> 00:31:33.320 my example. 00:31:34.000 --> 00:31:34.380 What about 00:31:34.380 --> 00:31:34.960 you today?