WEBVTT

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 Well, welcome to Church of the Advent.

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 Welcome back if you're returning.

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 Especially welcome if this is your first time.

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 I know many of us were potentially traveling this past week,

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 and we still have a lot of people on the road,

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 so we'll pray for their safe return and navigation

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 through the inevitable traffic that they will face today.

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 We celebrated Thanksgiving this past week in this country,

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 and it's a time, hopefully, amid all of the travel and stress and logistics,

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 where we had a moment to reflect on things we're thankful for.

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 And that's an appropriate thing to be thinking about

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 as we open God's Word together this evening,

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 because we are coming to the end of a series

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 that we started a few weeks back on stewardship.

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 And gratitude is a very important, very central idea

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 when you talk about stewardship,

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 because this series has been an exploration

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 of the truth that God actually owns everything.

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 And anything that we have in our lives

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 is something that has been entrusted to us by God

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 to be used in ways that reflect His heart.

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 And so we've been exploring that.

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 We talked about what it means to steward the world and creation.

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 We talked about what it means to steward our time,

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 to steward our bodies,

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 to steward our wealth and privilege.

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 We've looked at this through a number of different lenses.

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 And tonight, it culminates in a topic

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 that I think draws a lot of these themes together.

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 And so we're going to draw together a lot of the things

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 that we've talked about over the last few weeks.

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 We see this realm of stewardship

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 in 1 Peter 4, verse 10,

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 which is going to be our focus.

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 Peter says this,

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 As each has received a gift,

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 use it to serve one another

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 as good stewards of God's varied grace.

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 So this is our final topic of stewardship,

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 the stewardship of grace.

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 And we'll see three things looking at 1 Peter 4, 7 through 10.

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 We'll see first, what does this mean?

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 What does it mean to be a steward of grace?

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 It's a little more esoteric than wealth or time.

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 What does it mean?

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 Why is it so difficult to do?

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 And then lastly, how do we do it well?

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 What does faithful stewardship look like

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 when it comes to grace?

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 Let's pray.

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 Our Father, thank you.

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 As we have perhaps said thank you

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 for many things this week,

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 chiefly we thank you

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 for your presence among us,

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 that we can gather in a building like this

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 on a Sunday night

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 and know that regardless of how distracted

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 or torn or spread thin we might feel,

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 that you are fully present here.

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 Lord, we crave and we hunger for your voice.

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 We thirst for your word.

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 We pray that you would speak to us, Lord.

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 We pray this in your Son's holy name.

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 Amen.

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 So stewardship of grace,

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 what does that even mean?

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 1 Peter 4, chapter 4, verses 7 through 10

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 is a summary passage.

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 It's summarizing the Christian life.

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 This book is about Christians.

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 It's a letter from Peter to Christians

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 who were living in the diaspora,

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 the dispersed body of Christ,

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 living all around the known world

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 in places that are either indifferent

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 or maybe even hostile to the Christian faith.

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 And this is a pastoral letter of encouragement.

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 This is how you should live.

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 And he's laid out the gospel,

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 the beauty of our salvation in Jesus.

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 He's then talked about what it means

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 to face suffering

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 and to grow up into salvation.

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 And now as we get to chapter 4,

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 he's giving us a vision of the Christian life.

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 Verse 7 says,

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 the end of all things is near.

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 In other words, he's saying,

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 until Jesus comes again,

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 this is how we should live.

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 And then he lays it out.

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 And he says that above all,

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 Christians must love one another.

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 We must love one another.

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 What's important to note is that

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 when we think of love,

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 we think of a feeling.

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 Like I feel love for my wife,

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 for my kids, or my friends.

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 But when he talks about love,

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 he's talking about something that is active,

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 a verb.

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 Love one another.

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 And then he defines what that means.

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 Okay, what does that love look like,

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 expressed?

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 And he gives us two things.

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 Show hospitality,

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 which we've talked about a number of times

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 in our church.

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 And then the second thing,

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 is he says that we are to use

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 the gifts of grace that we've been given

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 to serve one another

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 as good stewards of God's varied grace.

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 So hospitality and then stewardship of grace.

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 And I think the two are connected.

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 I'll show you a little bit later

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 why I think hospitality,

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 how that figures in here.

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 But what I want to talk about now

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 is the fact that when we talk about God's grace

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 and stewarding that grace,

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 we're not just talking about the grace

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 that enables us to be saved.

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 God's grace that comes through Jesus

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 that saves sinners and reconciles them to God.

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 That's the beginning,

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 but there's more to it.

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 God's grace is actually

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 that which enables us to grow

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 and to mature

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 and the term is to be sanctified,

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 to become more like Jesus.

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 His grace coming into our lives

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 is what enables that to happen

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 in the power of the Spirit.

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 And so what Peter is saying

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 is that when God

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 pours his grace into his church,

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 he does it through

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 individual Christians.

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 He pours his grace through us

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 into one another's lives.

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 We're all made stewards of this grace.

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 And that happens in the form of gifts,

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 spiritual gifts.

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 So if you're a follower of Jesus,

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 if you've been baptized,

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 you have spiritual gifts.

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 You are in many ways,

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 and these gifts in you

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 are like channels of grace.

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 Or to use a different image,

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 when Jesus wants to shine

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 the light of his presence

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 into his church,

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 just as a light shines through a prism

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 and white light will be refracted

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 into all manner of hue,

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 so Jesus shines the light of his presence

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 through his church.

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 And each person is like a facet

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 of that prism.

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 And that light shines

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 in a slightly different hue.

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 So when God wants to shine his grace,

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 pour his grace,

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 it happens through our spiritual gifts.

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 And Peter speaks in generalities.

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 He says, you know,

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 there's essentially two categories of gifts.

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 He says there are those who speak,

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 speaking gifts,

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 and those who serve,

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 serving gifts.

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 And they work together.

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 If you look at other places

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 like Romans chapter 12,

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 or 1 Corinthians chapter 12,

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 and 13 and 14,

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 Ephesians chapter 4,

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 you see some of the more specific gifts

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 listed out.

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 These aren't exhaustive lists,

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 but they give us some specific examples

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 of what spiritual gifts

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 we're talking about.

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 So speaking gifts might include

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 prophecy,

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 right,

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 applying God's word

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 in ways that pierce hearts

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 and expose sin.

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 That's a speaking gift.

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 You might have a gift of teaching,

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 or of exhortation.

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 Exhortation is sort of strong encouragement,

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 or encouragement,

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 right?

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 These are speaking gifts.

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 Right alongside those,

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 there are serving gifts,

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 like service,

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 like healing,

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 like giving.

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 We're all called to give,

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 but some people are extraordinarily gifted.

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 They're extraordinarily generous,

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 and their gifts bear much fruit.

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 It's a spiritual gift.

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 The gift of mercy.

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 These are service-oriented gifts.

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 But the point that I want to dwell on with you

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 for just a few minutes

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 is this,

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 that God has designed His community,

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 communities like ours,

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 to be interdependent,

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 where each person

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 both needs and is needed.

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 Interdependent communities.

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 And being a loving community

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 means being an interdependent community.

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 That's what Peter's saying.

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 So there's a couple of implications

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 just to push this

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 into the realm of our lives

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 a little deeper.

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 First implication is this.

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 You need other Christians in your life.

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 You need Christians in your life.

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 And I'm not just talking about

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 Christians' friends

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 that you see once or twice a week.

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 I'm talking about spiritual friendships.

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 People who,

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 with whom you have

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 an explicit understanding

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 that you desire

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 to be used by God

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 in their life.

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 And you desire them

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 to be used in your life

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 to grow.

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 That you have committed to

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 not just being friends

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 but seeking

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 one another's growth

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 and maturity

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 in Christ.

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 You need those kind of people

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 in your life.

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 And if what Peter says

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 is true,

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 it means that as we read

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 over the list of spiritual gifts,

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 normally we read

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 over the list of spiritual gifts

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 and the main question

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 at least in my mind is

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 I wonder which ones I have.

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 And that's kind of human nature.

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 Maybe I have this.

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 Maybe I have this.

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 And that's really important.

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 We'll talk about that

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 in just a little while.

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 But there's another way

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 to read the list of gifts.

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 And that is

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 it's a list of needs.

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 It's a list of things

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 that I need.

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 Right?

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 So this means that

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 as I look down the list

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 of spiritual gifts,

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 I realize

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 I need people

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 to teach me

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 things that I don't know.

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 I need people

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 with the gift of teaching

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 in my life.

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 I need people

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 with the gift of wisdom

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 to share wisdom

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 that I may lack.

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 I need people

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 with the gift of prophecy

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 who can speak prophetically

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 into my life

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 and pierce my heart

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 and expose sin.

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 I need people

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 to exhort me

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 at times.

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 To encourage me

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 at times.

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 I need people

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 sometimes to serve me.

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 to pray for me

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 to be healed.

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 To show me mercy.

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 It's a list of needs.

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 Does that make you

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 uncomfortable at all?

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 Just the idea

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 that you would need

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 things like that

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 from people.

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 And I think

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 for most of us

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 it's hard to really admit.

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 To acknowledge,

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 yeah,

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 there are times

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 when I just don't know.

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 There are times

00:10:42.980 --> 00:10:43.600
 when I have no idea

00:10:43.600 --> 00:10:44.080
 what to do.

00:10:44.300 --> 00:10:44.680
 There are times

00:10:44.680 --> 00:10:45.680
 when I need to be called out.

00:10:45.940 --> 00:10:46.340
 There are times

00:10:46.340 --> 00:10:46.820
 when I need to be

00:10:46.820 --> 00:10:47.480
 taken care of.

00:10:47.700 --> 00:10:48.080
 There are times

00:10:48.080 --> 00:10:48.560
 when I need people

00:10:48.559 --> 00:10:49.459
 to pray for my healing.

00:10:50.639 --> 00:10:51.839
 I think it's human nature

00:10:51.839 --> 00:10:52.279
 and especially

00:10:52.279 --> 00:10:53.000
 in our culture

00:10:53.000 --> 00:10:55.319
 to spend most of our time

00:10:55.319 --> 00:10:56.119
 convincing people

00:10:56.119 --> 00:10:57.399
 that we don't need anything.

00:10:58.339 --> 00:10:58.500
 You know,

00:10:58.639 --> 00:10:59.959
 most of my time

00:10:59.959 --> 00:11:01.659
 I want people to know

00:11:01.659 --> 00:11:02.459
 that I've kind of

00:11:02.459 --> 00:11:03.059
 got it together.

00:11:03.299 --> 00:11:04.559
 That I'm kind of good.

00:11:05.339 --> 00:11:05.619
 I don't,

00:11:05.759 --> 00:11:05.959
 you're,

00:11:06.319 --> 00:11:06.639
 you know,

00:11:07.019 --> 00:11:07.939
 I don't really need anything.

00:11:08.319 --> 00:11:09.559
 Things are fine

00:11:09.559 --> 00:11:10.139
 in my life.

00:11:11.259 --> 00:11:12.199
 And I think

00:11:12.199 --> 00:11:12.619
 that's because

00:11:12.619 --> 00:11:13.439
 we live in a culture

00:11:13.439 --> 00:11:14.799
 that rewards autonomy

00:11:14.799 --> 00:11:16.639
 and rewards self-sufficiency.

00:11:16.979 --> 00:11:17.179
 I mean,

00:11:17.259 --> 00:11:17.979
 what does it mean

00:11:17.979 --> 00:11:18.679
 to be an adult

00:11:18.679 --> 00:11:19.339
 in our culture?

00:11:21.079 --> 00:11:21.639
 A lot of people

00:11:21.639 --> 00:11:22.159
 in this room

00:11:22.159 --> 00:11:22.299
 are,

00:11:22.439 --> 00:11:22.919
 you know,

00:11:22.939 --> 00:11:23.759
 sort of transitioning

00:11:23.759 --> 00:11:24.399
 or kind of

00:11:24.399 --> 00:11:25.639
 in what might be called

00:11:25.639 --> 00:11:26.379
 early adulthood.

00:11:26.500 --> 00:11:27.099
 What does that mean?

00:11:27.439 --> 00:11:27.559
 I mean,

00:11:27.559 --> 00:11:28.179
 what's the goal

00:11:28.179 --> 00:11:28.859
 of being an adult?

00:11:29.419 --> 00:11:30.299
 What is adulting

00:11:30.299 --> 00:11:30.779
 all about?

00:11:31.539 --> 00:11:32.620
 It's self-sufficiency,

00:11:32.740 --> 00:11:33.059
 isn't it?

00:11:34.019 --> 00:11:34.319
 I mean,

00:11:34.359 --> 00:11:35.099
 isn't being an adult

00:11:35.099 --> 00:11:36.240
 really just not needing

00:11:36.240 --> 00:11:37.379
 anything anymore?

00:11:38.019 --> 00:11:38.639
 You no longer

00:11:38.639 --> 00:11:39.579
 need parental support.

00:11:39.679 --> 00:11:40.019
 You no longer,

00:11:40.099 --> 00:11:40.979
 you kind of can do it

00:11:40.979 --> 00:11:41.659
 all yourself.

00:11:41.819 --> 00:11:42.000
 I mean,

00:11:42.019 --> 00:11:42.879
 that's essentially,

00:11:43.019 --> 00:11:43.240
 I think,

00:11:43.259 --> 00:11:44.079
 how we think about it.

00:11:45.019 --> 00:11:45.559
 So the idea

00:11:45.559 --> 00:11:46.799
 that I would need anything

00:11:46.799 --> 00:11:48.199
 is pretty uncomfortable.

00:11:48.679 --> 00:11:49.259
 But what we need

00:11:49.259 --> 00:11:49.679
 to understand

00:11:49.679 --> 00:11:50.860
 is that Peter

00:11:50.860 --> 00:11:52.100
 is totally shattering

00:11:52.100 --> 00:11:53.000
 that whole idea

00:11:53.000 --> 00:11:53.919
 of self-sufficiency.

00:11:55.279 --> 00:11:56.399
 And one implication

00:11:56.399 --> 00:11:57.039
 of what he's saying

00:11:57.039 --> 00:11:58.259
 is unless there are

00:11:58.259 --> 00:11:58.959
 other believers

00:11:58.959 --> 00:12:00.079
 pouring grace

00:12:00.079 --> 00:12:01.419
 into your life,

00:12:02.299 --> 00:12:02.980
 your growth

00:12:02.980 --> 00:12:03.939
 is going to be stunted.

00:12:04.839 --> 00:12:05.720
 It's going to be stunted.

00:12:07.519 --> 00:12:08.720
 So that's the first thing.

00:12:08.799 --> 00:12:09.699
 You need other Christians

00:12:09.699 --> 00:12:10.139
 in your life.

00:12:10.339 --> 00:12:11.059
 The second point

00:12:11.059 --> 00:12:11.559
 I want to make

00:12:11.559 --> 00:12:12.759
 is that other Christians

00:12:12.759 --> 00:12:13.439
 need you

00:12:13.439 --> 00:12:14.459
 in their life.

00:12:15.579 --> 00:12:15.959
 You know,

00:12:16.000 --> 00:12:16.500
 other Christians

00:12:16.500 --> 00:12:17.019
 need you

00:12:17.019 --> 00:12:17.839
 in their life.

00:12:18.699 --> 00:12:20.079
 There are specific ways

00:12:20.079 --> 00:12:20.579
 that God's,

00:12:20.579 --> 00:12:21.159
 if you're here

00:12:21.159 --> 00:12:21.879
 and you're a Christian,

00:12:22.199 --> 00:12:23.239
 there are specific ways

00:12:23.239 --> 00:12:24.039
 that God's grace

00:12:24.039 --> 00:12:24.939
 is meant to flow

00:12:24.939 --> 00:12:25.879
 through you,

00:12:26.339 --> 00:12:27.439
 through your personality,

00:12:28.239 --> 00:12:29.319
 through your quirks,

00:12:29.899 --> 00:12:30.479
 all the things

00:12:30.479 --> 00:12:31.359
 that make you you.

00:12:32.739 --> 00:12:33.679
 So there are needs

00:12:33.679 --> 00:12:34.299
 in this church

00:12:34.299 --> 00:12:35.179
 that only you

00:12:35.179 --> 00:12:36.199
 are able to meet.

00:12:36.299 --> 00:12:37.479
 And there are hands

00:12:37.479 --> 00:12:38.379
 that only you

00:12:38.379 --> 00:12:39.179
 can hold

00:12:39.179 --> 00:12:39.919
 and spaces

00:12:39.919 --> 00:12:40.500
 and roles

00:12:40.500 --> 00:12:41.120
 that only you

00:12:41.120 --> 00:12:41.659
 can fill.

00:12:42.460 --> 00:12:43.240
 And it's very important

00:12:43.240 --> 00:12:44.139
 to understand that,

00:12:44.200 --> 00:12:45.019
 that when you look

00:12:45.019 --> 00:12:45.679
 around this room,

00:12:45.919 --> 00:12:46.799
 every single person

00:12:46.799 --> 00:12:47.200
 who's here,

00:12:47.259 --> 00:12:47.940
 if you're here,

00:12:48.799 --> 00:12:49.379
 chances are

00:12:49.379 --> 00:12:50.779
 you're not just

00:12:50.779 --> 00:12:51.960
 randomly here,

00:12:52.700 --> 00:12:53.320
 that you're here

00:12:53.320 --> 00:12:53.960
 because God

00:12:53.960 --> 00:12:54.740
 has given you

00:12:54.740 --> 00:12:55.259
 as a gift,

00:12:55.840 --> 00:12:56.759
 that he looked

00:12:56.759 --> 00:12:57.259
 at the church

00:12:57.259 --> 00:12:58.080
 and saw the needs

00:12:58.080 --> 00:12:58.460
 and said,

00:12:58.460 --> 00:13:00.600
 this person

00:13:00.600 --> 00:13:02.379
 would fit very well

00:13:02.379 --> 00:13:02.660
 here.

00:13:03.560 --> 00:13:05.300
 They have gifts

00:13:05.300 --> 00:13:06.320
 that are needed

00:13:06.320 --> 00:13:07.139
 by this community.

00:13:09.639 --> 00:13:10.920
 There are no accidents

00:13:10.920 --> 00:13:11.920
 in God's kingdom.

00:13:13.200 --> 00:13:14.600
 So we need other Christians

00:13:14.600 --> 00:13:15.360
 in our lives,

00:13:16.160 --> 00:13:17.420
 other Christians need us

00:13:17.420 --> 00:13:18.240
 in their lives.

00:13:18.300 --> 00:13:19.180
 And this is what it means

00:13:19.180 --> 00:13:19.980
 to be a steward

00:13:19.980 --> 00:13:21.259
 of God's grace.

00:13:21.379 --> 00:13:22.500
 God's grace pours

00:13:22.500 --> 00:13:23.080
 through us

00:13:23.080 --> 00:13:25.100
 into one another's lives.

00:13:25.879 --> 00:13:26.120
 Now,

00:13:26.360 --> 00:13:27.460
 it's all well and good,

00:13:27.820 --> 00:13:28.580
 nice and clear.

00:13:29.279 --> 00:13:30.460
 Why is it so hard to do?

00:13:31.560 --> 00:13:32.800
 What is the major challenge?

00:13:33.500 --> 00:13:34.360
 And I think that there

00:13:34.360 --> 00:13:34.980
 are a number of ways

00:13:34.980 --> 00:13:35.440
 we could go,

00:13:35.519 --> 00:13:35.980
 a number of reasons

00:13:35.980 --> 00:13:36.399
 why it's hard,

00:13:36.460 --> 00:13:37.019
 but I just really want

00:13:37.019 --> 00:13:37.920
 to focus on what I think

00:13:37.920 --> 00:13:39.019
 is a core challenge

00:13:39.019 --> 00:13:40.100
 of interdependence

00:13:40.100 --> 00:13:41.480
 and why you don't often

00:13:41.480 --> 00:13:42.300
 see this happening

00:13:42.300 --> 00:13:43.100
 well in churches.

00:13:44.100 --> 00:13:45.180
 And that's this fact,

00:13:45.320 --> 00:13:46.379
 that the whole idea

00:13:46.379 --> 00:13:47.980
 that we need other people

00:13:47.980 --> 00:13:48.680
 to pour grace

00:13:48.680 --> 00:13:49.360
 into our lives,

00:13:49.680 --> 00:13:50.519
 and more to the point,

00:13:50.580 --> 00:13:51.080
 the whole idea

00:13:51.080 --> 00:13:52.279
 that we need to change

00:13:52.279 --> 00:13:53.620
 or that we need to grow

00:13:53.620 --> 00:13:55.100
 or that we need to transform

00:13:55.100 --> 00:13:56.179
 runs completely

00:13:56.179 --> 00:13:57.079
 against our culture.

00:13:58.720 --> 00:13:59.759
 We live in a culture

00:13:59.759 --> 00:14:00.639
 that has been termed

00:14:00.639 --> 00:14:01.220
 more and more

00:14:01.220 --> 00:14:03.179
 the age of authenticity.

00:14:04.199 --> 00:14:04.579
 I don't know

00:14:04.579 --> 00:14:05.339
 if you've heard this term,

00:14:05.419 --> 00:14:06.459
 but here's what Jonathan Grant,

00:14:06.539 --> 00:14:07.519
 here's how he defines it.

00:14:08.120 --> 00:14:09.139
 Modern authenticity

00:14:09.139 --> 00:14:10.120
 encourages us

00:14:10.120 --> 00:14:11.480
 to create our own beliefs

00:14:11.480 --> 00:14:12.220
 and morality.

00:14:12.899 --> 00:14:13.879
 The only rule being

00:14:13.879 --> 00:14:14.879
 that they must resonate

00:14:14.879 --> 00:14:15.919
 with who we feel

00:14:15.919 --> 00:14:17.259
 we really are.

00:14:17.419 --> 00:14:18.600
 The worst thing we can do

00:14:18.600 --> 00:14:19.299
 is to conform

00:14:19.299 --> 00:14:20.559
 to some moral code

00:14:20.559 --> 00:14:21.779
 that is imposed on us

00:14:21.779 --> 00:14:22.779
 from the outside,

00:14:23.000 --> 00:14:23.959
 by society,

00:14:24.120 --> 00:14:24.720
 our parents,

00:14:25.059 --> 00:14:25.620
 the church,

00:14:25.839 --> 00:14:26.720
 or whoever else.

00:14:27.299 --> 00:14:27.860
 It is deemed

00:14:27.860 --> 00:14:28.699
 to be self-evident

00:14:28.699 --> 00:14:30.199
 that any such imposition

00:14:30.199 --> 00:14:31.339
 would undermine

00:14:31.339 --> 00:14:33.559
 our unique identity.

00:14:33.740 --> 00:14:34.799
 So this is the culture

00:14:34.799 --> 00:14:35.779
 that we live in,

00:14:36.159 --> 00:14:37.799
 that I have a moral obligation

00:14:37.799 --> 00:14:39.439
 to be true

00:14:39.439 --> 00:14:40.379
 to what I feel

00:14:40.379 --> 00:14:41.179
 on the inside

00:14:41.179 --> 00:14:42.379
 and to express that,

00:14:42.459 --> 00:14:43.839
 and the less polluted

00:14:43.839 --> 00:14:45.600
 it is by outside influence,

00:14:45.779 --> 00:14:46.740
 the more authentic

00:14:46.740 --> 00:14:48.240
 and the more true

00:14:48.240 --> 00:14:49.319
 it is.

00:14:49.620 --> 00:14:50.860
 So why would I let you

00:14:50.860 --> 00:14:51.980
 speak into my life

00:14:51.980 --> 00:14:52.580
 and pollute

00:14:52.580 --> 00:14:53.399
 my sense of self?

00:14:54.460 --> 00:14:55.680
 I need to keep myself

00:14:55.680 --> 00:14:57.600
 clear of all of that,

00:14:57.639 --> 00:14:57.779
 right?

00:14:57.879 --> 00:14:58.580
 And think about

00:14:58.580 --> 00:15:00.460
 the stories that we tell,

00:15:00.519 --> 00:15:01.539
 the movies that come out

00:15:01.539 --> 00:15:02.060
 these days.

00:15:03.680 --> 00:15:03.960
 I mean,

00:15:04.000 --> 00:15:04.240
 really,

00:15:04.340 --> 00:15:05.259
 the only remaining

00:15:05.259 --> 00:15:06.139
 hero narrative

00:15:06.139 --> 00:15:07.159
 in our culture

00:15:07.159 --> 00:15:08.620
 is the narrative

00:15:08.620 --> 00:15:10.860
 of the person

00:15:10.860 --> 00:15:11.960
 who has the courage

00:15:11.960 --> 00:15:13.139
 to be themselves

00:15:13.139 --> 00:15:14.060
 no matter what.

00:15:15.159 --> 00:15:15.320
 You know,

00:15:15.320 --> 00:15:16.460
 that's the hero story

00:15:16.460 --> 00:15:17.220
 that we like to tell.

00:15:17.300 --> 00:15:17.399
 I mean,

00:15:17.440 --> 00:15:18.680
 virtually every movie

00:15:18.679 --> 00:15:19.179
 that I watched

00:15:19.179 --> 00:15:19.679
 with my kids

00:15:19.679 --> 00:15:20.339
 over Thanksgiving

00:15:20.339 --> 00:15:21.719
 was that story.

00:15:22.120 --> 00:15:22.959
 Just swap out

00:15:22.959 --> 00:15:23.839
 different animals

00:15:23.839 --> 00:15:24.699
 or creatures,

00:15:25.000 --> 00:15:26.179
 but that's essentially

00:15:26.179 --> 00:15:27.479
 the story that was being told

00:15:27.479 --> 00:15:29.139
 over and over and over.

00:15:29.500 --> 00:15:31.039
 And so one of the worst crimes

00:15:31.039 --> 00:15:32.500
 that you can possibly commit

00:15:32.500 --> 00:15:34.419
 in our culture

00:15:34.419 --> 00:15:36.179
 is to question

00:15:36.179 --> 00:15:37.099
 or challenge

00:15:37.099 --> 00:15:38.659
 someone else's choices.

00:15:38.659 --> 00:15:43.980
 That is the unpardonable sin

00:15:43.980 --> 00:15:45.259
 in our culture

00:15:45.259 --> 00:15:46.439
 is to challenge

00:15:46.439 --> 00:15:46.860
 or question

00:15:46.860 --> 00:15:47.559
 or push back

00:15:47.559 --> 00:15:48.399
 somebody else's

00:15:48.399 --> 00:15:49.159
 lifestyle choices.

00:15:49.439 --> 00:15:50.319
 You just don't do it.

00:15:51.419 --> 00:15:52.459
 There was a Barna study

00:15:52.459 --> 00:15:53.079
 that came out

00:15:53.079 --> 00:15:54.679
 where they made this statement

00:15:54.679 --> 00:15:55.419
 and they wanted people

00:15:55.419 --> 00:15:56.399
 to agree or disagree.

00:15:56.819 --> 00:15:57.519
 And here's the statement.

00:15:57.919 --> 00:15:59.519
 People should not criticize

00:15:59.519 --> 00:16:00.579
 someone else's

00:16:00.579 --> 00:16:01.500
 lifestyle choices.

00:16:03.079 --> 00:16:04.220
 Eighty-nine percent

00:16:04.220 --> 00:16:05.139
 of U.S. adults

00:16:05.139 --> 00:16:05.980
 agreed with that.

00:16:06.519 --> 00:16:06.620
 Right?

00:16:06.679 --> 00:16:07.459
 So the overwhelming

00:16:07.460 --> 00:16:08.320
 majority of people

00:16:08.320 --> 00:16:09.519
 would agree with that statement.

00:16:09.620 --> 00:16:10.920
 You should not ever

00:16:10.920 --> 00:16:11.920
 criticize other people's

00:16:11.920 --> 00:16:12.540
 lifestyle choices.

00:16:12.720 --> 00:16:13.519
 That's not surprising.

00:16:13.780 --> 00:16:14.340
 What may be a little

00:16:14.340 --> 00:16:15.080
 more surprising

00:16:15.080 --> 00:16:16.879
 is that 76%

00:16:16.879 --> 00:16:18.180
 of Christians

00:16:18.180 --> 00:16:19.019
 agreed with that.

00:16:20.040 --> 00:16:20.420
 Right?

00:16:20.480 --> 00:16:21.320
 So the vast majority

00:16:21.320 --> 00:16:21.840
 of people,

00:16:22.120 --> 00:16:22.920
 both secular

00:16:22.920 --> 00:16:23.840
 and Christian,

00:16:24.600 --> 00:16:25.759
 agree with that statement.

00:16:26.759 --> 00:16:28.100
 And so this sentiment

00:16:28.100 --> 00:16:30.420
 that love means,

00:16:30.500 --> 00:16:30.620
 you know,

00:16:30.639 --> 00:16:31.800
 if you really love someone,

00:16:31.980 --> 00:16:33.400
 you should affirm them

00:16:33.400 --> 00:16:34.740
 exactly as they are,

00:16:34.960 --> 00:16:36.580
 that's how the thinking goes.

00:16:36.580 --> 00:16:37.700
 That's what love

00:16:37.700 --> 00:16:38.800
 looks like in our culture.

00:16:38.920 --> 00:16:39.900
 And so what we need to see

00:16:39.900 --> 00:16:40.800
 is that when you look

00:16:40.800 --> 00:16:41.879
 at 1 Peter 4

00:16:41.879 --> 00:16:43.580
 and when you compare

00:16:43.580 --> 00:16:44.220
 the two,

00:16:45.080 --> 00:16:45.940
 you realize that we are

00:16:45.940 --> 00:16:46.720
 dealing with two

00:16:46.720 --> 00:16:48.000
 completely opposite

00:16:48.000 --> 00:16:49.300
 definitions of love.

00:16:50.680 --> 00:16:51.220
 They're two

00:16:51.220 --> 00:16:53.139
 diametrically opposed

00:16:53.139 --> 00:16:54.920
 ways of defining love

00:16:54.920 --> 00:16:55.580
 and they coexist.

00:16:57.020 --> 00:16:57.200
 Right?

00:16:57.259 --> 00:16:58.420
 The culture of authenticity

00:16:58.420 --> 00:16:59.040
 says,

00:16:59.780 --> 00:17:00.660
 this is who I am

00:17:00.659 --> 00:17:03.319
 and if you truly love me,

00:17:03.939 --> 00:17:05.359
 then you will affirm

00:17:05.359 --> 00:17:06.299
 and accept me

00:17:06.299 --> 00:17:07.259
 exactly as I am.

00:17:07.700 --> 00:17:08.680
 That's what love means.

00:17:10.220 --> 00:17:11.000
 1 Peter,

00:17:11.180 --> 00:17:11.899
 by contrast,

00:17:12.039 --> 00:17:12.319
 says,

00:17:12.960 --> 00:17:13.879
 this is who I am

00:17:13.879 --> 00:17:16.879
 and if you truly love me,

00:17:17.500 --> 00:17:18.720
 you will use your gifts

00:17:18.720 --> 00:17:19.839
 of grace

00:17:19.839 --> 00:17:21.720
 to speak into my life,

00:17:21.940 --> 00:17:22.940
 to challenge me,

00:17:22.940 --> 00:17:24.319
 to expose sin,

00:17:24.680 --> 00:17:25.500
 to exhort me,

00:17:25.779 --> 00:17:26.720
 to encourage me

00:17:26.720 --> 00:17:27.759
 so that I can grow

00:17:27.759 --> 00:17:28.720
 and transform

00:17:28.720 --> 00:17:29.900
 and mature

00:17:29.900 --> 00:17:31.120
 and become more

00:17:31.120 --> 00:17:31.759
 like Jesus.

00:17:32.660 --> 00:17:33.180
 You see,

00:17:33.339 --> 00:17:34.360
 they could not be

00:17:34.360 --> 00:17:35.500
 more opposite

00:17:35.500 --> 00:17:36.259
 one another.

00:17:37.740 --> 00:17:38.200
 And so someone,

00:17:38.339 --> 00:17:38.460
 you know,

00:17:38.519 --> 00:17:39.360
 I know you might be

00:17:39.360 --> 00:17:39.920
 hearing this

00:17:39.920 --> 00:17:41.460
 and thinking,

00:17:41.620 --> 00:17:42.220
 what's the big deal?

00:17:42.319 --> 00:17:42.460
 Well,

00:17:42.700 --> 00:17:43.480
 the thing is,

00:17:43.539 --> 00:17:44.200
 as a result,

00:17:44.319 --> 00:17:44.880
 the church

00:17:44.880 --> 00:17:47.059
 is deeply confused

00:17:47.059 --> 00:17:48.120
 over what it means

00:17:48.120 --> 00:17:49.079
 to love people well.

00:17:49.160 --> 00:17:50.019
 I think right here

00:17:50.019 --> 00:17:50.579
 in our church,

00:17:51.120 --> 00:17:52.339
 there's a lot of confusion.

00:17:52.620 --> 00:17:53.200
 I think there are

00:17:53.200 --> 00:17:53.740
 a lot of people

00:17:53.740 --> 00:17:54.640
 who really want

00:17:54.640 --> 00:17:55.420
 to be loving,

00:17:55.779 --> 00:17:56.279
 but I think that

00:17:56.279 --> 00:17:57.319
 we're very confused

00:17:57.319 --> 00:17:58.139
 as to what that

00:17:58.139 --> 00:17:58.940
 actually looks like

00:17:58.940 --> 00:17:59.460
 on the ground.

00:18:01.480 --> 00:18:02.660
 So you have someone

00:18:02.660 --> 00:18:04.259
 making decisions

00:18:04.259 --> 00:18:05.160
 and,

00:18:05.339 --> 00:18:05.680
 I don't know,

00:18:05.740 --> 00:18:06.519
 they're making decisions

00:18:06.519 --> 00:18:07.200
 that are hurting

00:18:07.200 --> 00:18:07.940
 their relationship

00:18:07.940 --> 00:18:08.500
 with God

00:18:08.500 --> 00:18:09.799
 and hurting

00:18:09.799 --> 00:18:10.980
 their relationships

00:18:10.980 --> 00:18:11.720
 with other people

00:18:11.720 --> 00:18:12.700
 and maybe even

00:18:12.700 --> 00:18:13.700
 hurting themselves.

00:18:14.160 --> 00:18:14.759
 That's essentially

00:18:14.759 --> 00:18:15.599
 what sin is.

00:18:15.680 --> 00:18:16.299
 It's doing things

00:18:16.299 --> 00:18:17.460
 that hurt those relationships.

00:18:18.799 --> 00:18:18.960
 Right?

00:18:19.079 --> 00:18:19.720
 And they're making

00:18:19.720 --> 00:18:20.379
 these decisions

00:18:20.379 --> 00:18:20.839
 and,

00:18:20.899 --> 00:18:22.259
 you know,

00:18:22.319 --> 00:18:22.740
 you see this

00:18:22.740 --> 00:18:23.420
 from time to time

00:18:23.420 --> 00:18:23.920
 where there'll be

00:18:23.920 --> 00:18:24.759
 somebody making

00:18:24.759 --> 00:18:25.339
 these decisions

00:18:25.339 --> 00:18:26.179
 and they're literally

00:18:26.179 --> 00:18:27.279
 surrounded by Christians.

00:18:27.439 --> 00:18:28.000
 They're surrounded

00:18:28.000 --> 00:18:28.659
 by Christians.

00:18:29.359 --> 00:18:29.679
 You know,

00:18:29.720 --> 00:18:30.439
 they're in small groups

00:18:30.439 --> 00:18:30.659
 and,

00:18:30.740 --> 00:18:30.919
 you know,

00:18:31.000 --> 00:18:33.259
 and all of the people

00:18:33.259 --> 00:18:33.699
 around them

00:18:33.699 --> 00:18:34.399
 are concerned.

00:18:35.399 --> 00:18:36.439
 And all of those people

00:18:36.439 --> 00:18:37.639
 are talking to one another

00:18:37.639 --> 00:18:38.480
 about how concerned

00:18:38.480 --> 00:18:38.779
 they are,

00:18:38.879 --> 00:18:39.779
 but nobody dares

00:18:39.779 --> 00:18:40.399
 say anything

00:18:40.399 --> 00:18:40.879
 to the person

00:18:40.879 --> 00:18:41.319
 in question.

00:18:43.879 --> 00:18:44.459
 And so,

00:18:45.139 --> 00:18:45.419
 and then,

00:18:45.539 --> 00:18:45.819
 you know,

00:18:45.879 --> 00:18:46.339
 and you say,

00:18:46.399 --> 00:18:46.519
 well,

00:18:46.819 --> 00:18:47.019
 you know,

00:18:47.039 --> 00:18:47.599
 don't you think

00:18:47.599 --> 00:18:48.559
 you should say something

00:18:48.559 --> 00:18:49.399
 if you're so concerned?

00:18:49.500 --> 00:18:50.419
 Shouldn't you maybe

00:18:50.419 --> 00:18:50.939
 sit down

00:18:50.939 --> 00:18:51.720
 and have a conversation

00:18:51.720 --> 00:18:52.579
 and people say,

00:18:52.639 --> 00:18:52.819
 well,

00:18:53.159 --> 00:18:53.359
 you know,

00:18:53.359 --> 00:18:54.419
 I just really think

00:18:54.419 --> 00:18:55.139
 what they need is,

00:18:55.279 --> 00:18:55.839
 I just want to be

00:18:55.839 --> 00:18:56.740
 supportive right now.

00:18:57.539 --> 00:18:57.919
 Well,

00:18:58.099 --> 00:18:59.019
 I just don't know

00:18:59.019 --> 00:19:00.059
 if it's my place.

00:19:00.579 --> 00:19:00.779
 You know,

00:19:00.859 --> 00:19:01.539
 I just think

00:19:01.539 --> 00:19:02.240
 that they need to know

00:19:02.240 --> 00:19:02.799
 that they're loved

00:19:02.799 --> 00:19:03.479
 no matter what.

00:19:05.299 --> 00:19:06.319
 And on it goes.

00:19:06.479 --> 00:19:06.659
 And,

00:19:06.759 --> 00:19:07.359
 and I think that

00:19:07.359 --> 00:19:08.679
 all of this reflects

00:19:08.679 --> 00:19:10.240
 a deep confusion

00:19:10.240 --> 00:19:11.099
 about what love

00:19:11.099 --> 00:19:12.500
 actually looks like.

00:19:12.539 --> 00:19:13.379
 It reflects actually

00:19:13.379 --> 00:19:14.539
 the culture of authenticity.

00:19:15.000 --> 00:19:15.659
 Loving someone,

00:19:15.799 --> 00:19:16.459
 supporting them

00:19:16.459 --> 00:19:18.179
 means never questioning them.

00:19:20.299 --> 00:19:21.179
 So someone says,

00:19:21.319 --> 00:19:21.459
 okay,

00:19:21.559 --> 00:19:21.679
 well,

00:19:21.779 --> 00:19:22.000
 okay,

00:19:22.000 --> 00:19:22.559
 I get that,

00:19:22.619 --> 00:19:23.740
 but what's the big deal?

00:19:24.700 --> 00:19:25.740
 And maybe you're here

00:19:25.740 --> 00:19:26.640
 and you're listening

00:19:26.640 --> 00:19:27.720
 and you're not really sure

00:19:27.720 --> 00:19:28.480
 if you buy the whole

00:19:28.480 --> 00:19:28.839
 grace,

00:19:29.079 --> 00:19:29.400
 Jesus,

00:19:29.539 --> 00:19:30.279
 gospel thing.

00:19:30.420 --> 00:19:30.759
 And you say,

00:19:30.819 --> 00:19:30.960
 well,

00:19:31.220 --> 00:19:32.079
 if I'm not a Christian,

00:19:32.220 --> 00:19:33.200
 then what does it matter?

00:19:33.599 --> 00:19:34.039
 And I would say,

00:19:34.079 --> 00:19:35.480
 even if you don't buy

00:19:35.480 --> 00:19:36.000
 all of that,

00:19:36.059 --> 00:19:36.980
 it still doesn't work.

00:19:37.059 --> 00:19:38.539
 There's still a serious flaw

00:19:38.539 --> 00:19:39.619
 with this way

00:19:39.619 --> 00:19:40.839
 of thinking about relationships.

00:19:41.539 --> 00:19:42.480
 And here's the flaw.

00:19:42.539 --> 00:19:43.240
 Here's the problem

00:19:43.240 --> 00:19:44.660
 with the culture of authenticity.

00:19:45.259 --> 00:19:46.059
 When you say,

00:19:46.279 --> 00:19:47.039
 this is who I am,

00:19:47.519 --> 00:19:48.579
 you must affirm

00:19:48.579 --> 00:19:49.099
 and accept me

00:19:49.099 --> 00:19:50.000
 exactly as I am.

00:19:50.039 --> 00:19:50.779
 When that's what you say

00:19:50.779 --> 00:19:51.180
 to people,

00:19:51.180 --> 00:19:53.779
 what you really have

00:19:53.779 --> 00:19:54.740
 is openness

00:19:54.740 --> 00:19:56.240
 without vulnerability.

00:19:57.560 --> 00:19:58.539
 You have openness

00:19:58.539 --> 00:19:59.740
 without vulnerability.

00:20:00.160 --> 00:20:01.060
 And that makes

00:20:01.060 --> 00:20:02.220
 real relationships

00:20:02.220 --> 00:20:03.740
 completely impossible.

00:20:05.240 --> 00:20:06.840
 Because you're being open,

00:20:06.920 --> 00:20:07.140
 you're saying,

00:20:07.220 --> 00:20:08.080
 this is who I am,

00:20:08.200 --> 00:20:09.100
 I'm being totally honest

00:20:09.100 --> 00:20:09.840
 about who I am.

00:20:11.140 --> 00:20:12.500
 But you're not allowing

00:20:12.500 --> 00:20:13.000
 that person

00:20:13.000 --> 00:20:14.100
 to have any meaningful

00:20:14.100 --> 00:20:14.940
 impact

00:20:14.940 --> 00:20:16.220
 on your life.

00:20:16.820 --> 00:20:17.660
 And that's the

00:20:17.660 --> 00:20:18.640
 vulnerability piece.

00:20:18.640 --> 00:20:20.660
 And if you're open

00:20:20.660 --> 00:20:21.759
 and yet you're not vulnerable,

00:20:21.860 --> 00:20:22.740
 it's not openness

00:20:22.740 --> 00:20:23.920
 that makes relationships

00:20:23.920 --> 00:20:24.480
 possible,

00:20:24.700 --> 00:20:25.400
 real relationships,

00:20:25.660 --> 00:20:26.400
 it's vulnerability.

00:20:27.060 --> 00:20:28.040
 Because vulnerability

00:20:28.040 --> 00:20:29.900
 is the core

00:20:29.900 --> 00:20:30.580
 of intimacy.

00:20:31.660 --> 00:20:32.940
 And so you can be open,

00:20:33.200 --> 00:20:34.120
 but if you're not vulnerable,

00:20:34.320 --> 00:20:35.300
 there's no chance

00:20:35.300 --> 00:20:36.060
 for intimacy.

00:20:37.360 --> 00:20:38.780
 And so it may feel

00:20:38.780 --> 00:20:39.440
 like you're intimate,

00:20:39.940 --> 00:20:41.360
 but if there's no possibility

00:20:41.360 --> 00:20:42.420
 that anybody can actually

00:20:42.420 --> 00:20:43.300
 impact you

00:20:43.300 --> 00:20:44.420
 or change you,

00:20:45.140 --> 00:20:45.920
 then there's really

00:20:45.920 --> 00:20:46.539
 no intimacy.

00:20:48.039 --> 00:20:49.000
 You're really not

00:20:49.000 --> 00:20:49.960
 asking for a friend,

00:20:50.060 --> 00:20:51.440
 you're asking for a yes man,

00:20:51.519 --> 00:20:52.380
 you're asking for somebody

00:20:52.380 --> 00:20:52.940
 to come along

00:20:52.940 --> 00:20:53.860
 and rubber stamp

00:20:53.860 --> 00:20:54.460
 your life.

00:20:55.420 --> 00:20:56.279
 And so instead of

00:20:56.279 --> 00:20:57.240
 building a relationship

00:20:57.240 --> 00:20:58.220
 on intimacy,

00:20:58.220 --> 00:20:59.300
 you're actually building

00:20:59.300 --> 00:21:00.300
 it on an ultimatum.

00:21:02.019 --> 00:21:03.160
 And ultimatums

00:21:03.160 --> 00:21:04.060
 really aren't good

00:21:04.060 --> 00:21:04.680
 for relationships.

00:21:06.259 --> 00:21:07.220
 It doesn't work.

00:21:08.740 --> 00:21:09.180
 Right?

00:21:09.279 --> 00:21:09.880
 So I think

00:21:09.880 --> 00:21:10.740
 this is one reason

00:21:10.740 --> 00:21:11.800
 why so many people

00:21:11.800 --> 00:21:12.460
 these days,

00:21:13.740 --> 00:21:14.420
 especially in a place

00:21:14.420 --> 00:21:14.880
 like D.C.

00:21:14.880 --> 00:21:15.720
 where this way of thinking

00:21:15.720 --> 00:21:16.360
 is so prevalent,

00:21:16.500 --> 00:21:17.500
 there's a lot of loneliness

00:21:17.500 --> 00:21:18.080
 out there.

00:21:18.380 --> 00:21:18.840
 A lot of people

00:21:18.840 --> 00:21:19.660
 with a lot of friends

00:21:19.660 --> 00:21:20.620
 who are still lonely.

00:21:21.100 --> 00:21:22.020
 And I think part of it

00:21:22.020 --> 00:21:24.460
 is because we like

00:21:24.460 --> 00:21:25.200
 the idea of openness,

00:21:25.580 --> 00:21:26.400
 but we don't like

00:21:26.400 --> 00:21:27.180
 the idea of vulnerability.

00:21:28.700 --> 00:21:30.200
 And so we're alone.

00:21:30.800 --> 00:21:31.780
 There's no intimacy there.

00:21:33.400 --> 00:21:34.480
 And this attitude,

00:21:34.740 --> 00:21:35.120
 by the way,

00:21:35.180 --> 00:21:36.040
 not only makes

00:21:36.040 --> 00:21:37.020
 relationships

00:21:37.020 --> 00:21:37.820
 with other people

00:21:37.820 --> 00:21:38.300
 impossible,

00:21:39.520 --> 00:21:40.960
 but if you come to God

00:21:40.960 --> 00:21:41.520
 and you say,

00:21:41.600 --> 00:21:42.600
 well, I believe that God

00:21:42.600 --> 00:21:43.740
 is a God of love,

00:21:43.740 --> 00:21:44.519
 and I believe that

00:21:44.519 --> 00:21:46.059
 if God is truly loving,

00:21:46.180 --> 00:21:47.099
 then God should accept me

00:21:47.099 --> 00:21:47.740
 and affirm me

00:21:47.740 --> 00:21:48.960
 exactly as I am.

00:21:50.220 --> 00:21:51.220
 You're not going to have

00:21:51.220 --> 00:21:51.759
 a relationship

00:21:51.759 --> 00:21:53.779
 with any God

00:21:53.779 --> 00:21:54.940
 other than the God

00:21:54.940 --> 00:21:56.079
 of your own imagination.

00:21:56.559 --> 00:21:57.259
 It makes a relationship

00:21:57.259 --> 00:21:58.380
 with God utterly impossible.

00:21:59.200 --> 00:22:00.620
 So the gospel offers us

00:22:00.620 --> 00:22:01.140
 a better way,

00:22:01.220 --> 00:22:01.779
 and that's what we're going

00:22:01.779 --> 00:22:02.279
 to spend the rest

00:22:02.279 --> 00:22:03.259
 of our time looking at.

00:22:03.799 --> 00:22:04.799
 How to be faithful

00:22:04.799 --> 00:22:06.259
 as stewards of grace,

00:22:06.720 --> 00:22:08.759
 and that begins

00:22:08.759 --> 00:22:09.519
 with understanding

00:22:09.519 --> 00:22:10.120
 the gospel.

00:22:10.359 --> 00:22:11.160
 It begins with,

00:22:11.160 --> 00:22:13.279
 first thing we have to do

00:22:13.279 --> 00:22:14.100
 to be stewards of grace

00:22:14.100 --> 00:22:14.820
 is to recognize

00:22:14.820 --> 00:22:15.880
 that we need grace.

00:22:16.880 --> 00:22:17.060
 Right?

00:22:17.259 --> 00:22:18.620
 So before I pour grace

00:22:18.620 --> 00:22:19.440
 into the lives of others,

00:22:19.540 --> 00:22:20.300
 I need it myself.

00:22:20.519 --> 00:22:20.900
 By the way,

00:22:20.960 --> 00:22:21.440
 every week,

00:22:21.560 --> 00:22:22.420
 this is why

00:22:22.420 --> 00:22:23.100
 when we come up

00:22:23.100 --> 00:22:23.720
 for communion,

00:22:24.320 --> 00:22:25.120
 we come up

00:22:25.120 --> 00:22:26.400
 and say Dan

00:22:26.400 --> 00:22:27.480
 is celebrating communion.

00:22:27.740 --> 00:22:28.900
 The first thing Dan does

00:22:28.900 --> 00:22:30.600
 after he sits everybody down

00:22:30.600 --> 00:22:31.580
 is he takes a bite

00:22:31.580 --> 00:22:32.360
 of the bread himself,

00:22:32.820 --> 00:22:33.779
 and then he takes

00:22:33.779 --> 00:22:34.580
 a drink from the cup,

00:22:34.980 --> 00:22:36.840
 and then he'll give me,

00:22:36.940 --> 00:22:37.580
 if I'm helping,

00:22:37.720 --> 00:22:39.100
 assisting with distribution,

00:22:39.600 --> 00:22:40.160
 he will give me

00:22:40.160 --> 00:22:40.880
 the bread and the wine,

00:22:40.940 --> 00:22:41.380
 and then we give it

00:22:41.380 --> 00:22:42.160
 to the chalice bearers,

00:22:42.180 --> 00:22:42.660
 and then we come

00:22:42.660 --> 00:22:43.360
 and we begin to give it

00:22:43.360 --> 00:22:43.779
 to all of you.

00:22:44.019 --> 00:22:44.300
 Why?

00:22:44.380 --> 00:22:44.980
 It's because we need

00:22:44.980 --> 00:22:46.560
 to receive before we can give.

00:22:46.700 --> 00:22:47.540
 That's what that's meant

00:22:47.540 --> 00:22:48.019
 to model.

00:22:48.440 --> 00:22:49.560
 We're only able to give

00:22:49.560 --> 00:22:50.380
 what we've received.

00:22:51.120 --> 00:22:51.820
 And so the first thing

00:22:51.820 --> 00:22:52.300
 we need to do

00:22:52.300 --> 00:22:52.860
 is to recognize

00:22:52.860 --> 00:22:53.980
 that we need grace.

00:22:55.360 --> 00:22:55.600
 You know,

00:22:55.640 --> 00:22:56.759
 Jesus said in the Gospels,

00:22:57.060 --> 00:22:57.840
 those who are well

00:22:57.840 --> 00:22:58.480
 have no need

00:22:58.480 --> 00:22:59.120
 for a physician.

00:23:00.800 --> 00:23:01.740
 I came to call

00:23:01.740 --> 00:23:02.480
 not the righteous,

00:23:02.759 --> 00:23:03.300
 but sinners.

00:23:04.440 --> 00:23:05.540
 So in order to receive

00:23:05.540 --> 00:23:06.040
 God's grace,

00:23:06.120 --> 00:23:06.880
 you have to recognize

00:23:06.880 --> 00:23:07.680
 that you need it.

00:23:07.720 --> 00:23:08.820
 You have to ask for it.

00:23:08.819 --> 00:23:09.319
 God's grace,

00:23:09.319 --> 00:23:10.679
 which means,

00:23:10.899 --> 00:23:12.079
 first of all,

00:23:12.179 --> 00:23:13.039
 admitting that we're

00:23:13.039 --> 00:23:14.939
 hopelessly addicted

00:23:14.939 --> 00:23:17.059
 to self and idols,

00:23:18.000 --> 00:23:21.179
 that we are powerless

00:23:21.179 --> 00:23:22.980
 over sin in our lives.

00:23:23.039 --> 00:23:24.559
 It means coming to Jesus

00:23:24.559 --> 00:23:25.859
 and admitting that we need

00:23:25.859 --> 00:23:26.519
 the free grace

00:23:26.519 --> 00:23:27.139
 that he offers

00:23:27.139 --> 00:23:29.099
 to become free and whole.

00:23:30.220 --> 00:23:30.859
 And then it means

00:23:30.859 --> 00:23:32.000
 turning our will

00:23:32.000 --> 00:23:33.179
 and our lives over to him,

00:23:33.279 --> 00:23:33.480
 saying,

00:23:33.599 --> 00:23:34.500
 please take this,

00:23:34.740 --> 00:23:35.259
 take me,

00:23:35.359 --> 00:23:36.139
 and change me,

00:23:36.460 --> 00:23:37.279
 transform me.

00:23:37.279 --> 00:23:38.480
 And you know,

00:23:38.519 --> 00:23:39.160
 that's what happens.

00:23:39.240 --> 00:23:40.440
 It's essentially giving Jesus

00:23:40.440 --> 00:23:41.240
 a blank check

00:23:41.240 --> 00:23:42.460
 to the rest of your life

00:23:42.460 --> 00:23:43.180
 and saying,

00:23:43.339 --> 00:23:44.339
 here's a blank check.

00:23:44.619 --> 00:23:46.000
 Whatever you call me to do

00:23:46.000 --> 00:23:46.819
 from this point forward,

00:23:46.899 --> 00:23:47.519
 I will do it.

00:23:47.660 --> 00:23:48.399
 I have no idea

00:23:48.399 --> 00:23:49.139
 what that's going to be,

00:23:49.259 --> 00:23:50.420
 but I'm saying yes now.

00:23:51.779 --> 00:23:52.899
 So whatever it is

00:23:52.899 --> 00:23:53.779
 that comes down the road,

00:23:53.879 --> 00:23:55.180
 I say yes.

00:23:56.180 --> 00:23:57.139
 That's what it means.

00:23:57.839 --> 00:23:58.859
 And you know that Jesus

00:23:58.859 --> 00:23:59.460
 is going to then

00:23:59.460 --> 00:24:00.740
 begin to work in your life

00:24:00.740 --> 00:24:02.059
 to change and to transform you,

00:24:02.160 --> 00:24:03.200
 using other people

00:24:03.200 --> 00:24:04.200
 to do that.

00:24:04.200 --> 00:24:05.799
 But we have to receive

00:24:05.799 --> 00:24:06.319
 God's grace.

00:24:06.580 --> 00:24:07.559
 And then once that happens,

00:24:07.660 --> 00:24:08.759
 then we have to recognize

00:24:08.759 --> 00:24:11.940
 the purpose of grace

00:24:11.940 --> 00:24:12.680
 to begin with.

00:24:13.960 --> 00:24:14.799
 That ultimately,

00:24:15.019 --> 00:24:16.259
 this is not about us.

00:24:17.940 --> 00:24:19.080
 And Peter makes this

00:24:19.080 --> 00:24:19.920
 abundantly clear.

00:24:20.019 --> 00:24:20.600
 Who's it about?

00:24:20.779 --> 00:24:21.580
 Well, he says,

00:24:21.700 --> 00:24:22.920
 in order that in everything,

00:24:23.259 --> 00:24:24.400
 God might be glorified

00:24:24.400 --> 00:24:25.019
 through Jesus.

00:24:25.680 --> 00:24:26.960
 To him belong glory

00:24:26.960 --> 00:24:27.559
 and dominion

00:24:27.559 --> 00:24:28.620
 forever and ever.

00:24:29.059 --> 00:24:29.380
 Amen.

00:24:30.380 --> 00:24:31.460
 So that's why he's saying

00:24:31.460 --> 00:24:32.740
 faithful stewards of grace,

00:24:32.740 --> 00:24:33.799
 you know,

00:24:33.859 --> 00:24:34.519
 when you speak,

00:24:34.640 --> 00:24:36.299
 speak oracles of God.

00:24:36.420 --> 00:24:37.579
 When you serve,

00:24:37.740 --> 00:24:38.980
 serve with the strength

00:24:38.980 --> 00:24:40.359
 that God provides.

00:24:41.160 --> 00:24:41.980
 Lest you ever,

00:24:42.140 --> 00:24:42.519
 for a moment,

00:24:42.660 --> 00:24:44.220
 forget and think

00:24:44.220 --> 00:24:45.039
 that it's about you.

00:24:45.480 --> 00:24:46.160
 Because in fact,

00:24:46.220 --> 00:24:46.680
 it's not.

00:24:47.720 --> 00:24:47.980
 You know,

00:24:48.019 --> 00:24:48.740
 the essence of sin

00:24:48.740 --> 00:24:49.240
 is essentially

00:24:49.240 --> 00:24:50.420
 that we're all addicted

00:24:50.420 --> 00:24:51.019
 to self.

00:24:51.180 --> 00:24:52.620
 We want it to be about us.

00:24:53.000 --> 00:24:54.240
 We want it to be about us.

00:24:54.519 --> 00:24:56.740
 We're kind of self-aholics,

00:24:56.960 --> 00:24:57.240
 you know.

00:24:57.599 --> 00:24:58.480
 That's our addiction.

00:24:59.960 --> 00:25:00.839
 And Peter says,

00:25:00.900 --> 00:25:01.059
 no,

00:25:01.140 --> 00:25:01.980
 it's not about you.

00:25:01.980 --> 00:25:04.839
 And so when you do

00:25:04.839 --> 00:25:05.460
 bear fruit

00:25:05.460 --> 00:25:06.079
 and when you are

00:25:06.079 --> 00:25:06.799
 stewarding grace

00:25:06.799 --> 00:25:07.720
 and you see other people

00:25:07.720 --> 00:25:08.460
 grow as a result,

00:25:08.579 --> 00:25:09.259
 don't take credit.

00:25:10.539 --> 00:25:11.440
 Recognize that it's God

00:25:11.440 --> 00:25:12.680
 who provides grace.

00:25:13.120 --> 00:25:13.880
 That we're merely

00:25:13.880 --> 00:25:14.420
 the stewards.

00:25:15.099 --> 00:25:15.220
 Right?

00:25:15.279 --> 00:25:16.019
 So it's not about you.

00:25:16.120 --> 00:25:16.940
 Recognize the purpose

00:25:16.940 --> 00:25:18.220
 is to glorify God.

00:25:19.799 --> 00:25:21.079
 So the first couple of things,

00:25:21.299 --> 00:25:22.240
 to be stewards of grace,

00:25:22.360 --> 00:25:22.940
 we recognize

00:25:22.940 --> 00:25:24.279
 that we need grace.

00:25:24.599 --> 00:25:25.140
 We recognize

00:25:25.140 --> 00:25:26.140
 the purpose of grace

00:25:26.140 --> 00:25:27.019
 to glorify God.

00:25:27.900 --> 00:25:28.700
 Number three,

00:25:29.240 --> 00:25:30.539
 recognize and use

00:25:30.539 --> 00:25:31.920
 your own gifts of grace.

00:25:31.980 --> 00:25:34.259
 recognize and use

00:25:34.259 --> 00:25:34.920
 your gifts.

00:25:36.440 --> 00:25:37.059
 I don't know

00:25:37.059 --> 00:25:37.640
 what they are.

00:25:38.680 --> 00:25:39.860
 But you can discover

00:25:39.860 --> 00:25:40.599
 what they are.

00:25:41.240 --> 00:25:41.400
 You know,

00:25:41.460 --> 00:25:42.240
 there are lots of

00:25:42.240 --> 00:25:43.599
 inventories out there

00:25:43.599 --> 00:25:44.220
 that you can take

00:25:44.220 --> 00:25:45.460
 to discern your spiritual gifts.

00:25:45.559 --> 00:25:46.779
 We did one a year ago

00:25:46.779 --> 00:25:47.539
 when we had a retreat

00:25:47.539 --> 00:25:48.279
 on this topic

00:25:48.279 --> 00:25:49.099
 for this very reason.

00:25:49.559 --> 00:25:50.500
 But by far,

00:25:50.620 --> 00:25:51.319
 a better way

00:25:51.319 --> 00:25:52.400
 is to sit down

00:25:52.400 --> 00:25:52.940
 with people,

00:25:53.140 --> 00:25:54.079
 Christian brothers and sisters

00:25:54.079 --> 00:25:54.799
 who know you,

00:25:54.799 --> 00:25:56.099
 and to begin to ask them

00:25:56.099 --> 00:25:57.319
 to prayerfully help you

00:25:57.319 --> 00:25:58.539
 discern what your gifts are.

00:25:59.039 --> 00:25:59.200
 You know,

00:25:59.279 --> 00:26:00.620
 where do you bear fruit?

00:26:00.619 --> 00:26:02.279
 Where,

00:26:02.379 --> 00:26:02.959
 when you're doing

00:26:02.959 --> 00:26:03.559
 your thing,

00:26:03.739 --> 00:26:04.979
 where do you see fruit

00:26:04.979 --> 00:26:05.599
 and growth

00:26:05.599 --> 00:26:06.679
 and flourishing happen?

00:26:08.279 --> 00:26:09.199
 Where do your

00:26:09.199 --> 00:26:11.559
 natural inclinations

00:26:11.559 --> 00:26:12.359
 meet fruitfulness

00:26:12.359 --> 00:26:13.979
 when you're being

00:26:13.979 --> 00:26:14.739
 faithful to Jesus?

00:26:16.019 --> 00:26:17.419
 And prayerfully

00:26:17.419 --> 00:26:18.479
 discern what those are.

00:26:19.159 --> 00:26:19.759
 And then,

00:26:20.039 --> 00:26:20.899
 once you begin

00:26:20.899 --> 00:26:21.519
 to know them,

00:26:22.639 --> 00:26:23.259
 use them.

00:26:23.699 --> 00:26:24.679
 That's the key.

00:26:25.119 --> 00:26:26.159
 You have to use them.

00:26:26.259 --> 00:26:27.519
 They're meant to be used

00:26:27.519 --> 00:26:28.519
 for the life of the church.

00:26:30.099 --> 00:26:30.460
 Sometimes,

00:26:31.200 --> 00:26:32.259
 using your gifts,

00:26:32.579 --> 00:26:33.599
 sometimes that means

00:26:33.599 --> 00:26:34.299
 that you're going to get

00:26:34.299 --> 00:26:35.180
 to serve people

00:26:35.180 --> 00:26:36.720
 and take them food

00:26:36.720 --> 00:26:38.099
 and encourage them

00:26:38.099 --> 00:26:39.160
 and pray for them

00:26:39.160 --> 00:26:39.639
 to heal

00:26:39.639 --> 00:26:40.960
 and pat them on the back

00:26:40.960 --> 00:26:41.779
 and help them get up

00:26:41.779 --> 00:26:42.740
 and say it's going to be okay

00:26:42.740 --> 00:26:43.619
 and dust them off

00:26:43.619 --> 00:26:46.160
 and help them down the road.

00:26:47.920 --> 00:26:48.740
 Sometimes, though,

00:26:48.980 --> 00:26:49.839
 it's going to mean

00:26:49.839 --> 00:26:51.059
 having hard conversations.

00:26:52.559 --> 00:26:53.000
 Sometimes,

00:26:53.099 --> 00:26:53.839
 using your gifts

00:26:53.839 --> 00:26:54.539
 and being a faithful

00:26:54.539 --> 00:26:55.139
 steward of grace

00:26:55.139 --> 00:26:56.000
 means that you have

00:26:56.000 --> 00:26:56.519
 to sit down

00:26:56.519 --> 00:26:57.559
 and you have to speak

00:26:57.559 --> 00:26:58.220
 prophetically

00:26:58.220 --> 00:26:59.460
 into somebody's life.

00:26:59.559 --> 00:27:01.140
 You have to exhort them

00:27:01.140 --> 00:27:02.460
 in things that they

00:27:02.460 --> 00:27:03.059
 don't want to hear.

00:27:04.119 --> 00:27:04.940
 You have to challenge

00:27:04.940 --> 00:27:05.559
 and question

00:27:05.559 --> 00:27:09.400
 and nobody enjoys

00:27:09.400 --> 00:27:10.319
 those conversations.

00:27:11.579 --> 00:27:12.660
 But I just want to say

00:27:12.660 --> 00:27:14.140
 this as strongly as I can.

00:27:14.579 --> 00:27:15.519
 Don't avoid

00:27:15.519 --> 00:27:16.759
 hard conversations.

00:27:18.779 --> 00:27:19.759
 If we are a church

00:27:19.759 --> 00:27:21.119
 that avoids hard conversations,

00:27:21.299 --> 00:27:22.019
 we will not be

00:27:22.019 --> 00:27:22.720
 stewarding grace.

00:27:22.839 --> 00:27:24.019
 Our growth will be stunted.

00:27:26.000 --> 00:27:26.980
 I'll give a big caveat.

00:27:27.140 --> 00:27:27.700
 I can't believe

00:27:27.700 --> 00:27:28.980
 I'm quoting Tim Ferriss,

00:27:29.059 --> 00:27:29.759
 but here it goes.

00:27:32.059 --> 00:27:33.700
 Sort of a self-styled guru.

00:27:35.119 --> 00:27:36.079
 Somebody described him

00:27:36.079 --> 00:27:37.160
 the Tony Robbins

00:27:37.160 --> 00:27:38.160
 for people under 45

00:27:38.160 --> 00:27:38.900
 and I guess

00:27:38.900 --> 00:27:39.740
 that's probably true.

00:27:40.880 --> 00:27:41.180
 He says,

00:27:41.259 --> 00:27:42.700
 a person's success in life

00:27:42.700 --> 00:27:43.920
 can usually be measured

00:27:43.920 --> 00:27:44.559
 by the number

00:27:44.559 --> 00:27:45.960
 of uncomfortable conversations

00:27:45.960 --> 00:27:47.240
 he or she is willing to have.

00:27:47.900 --> 00:27:49.680
 That's a pretty bold statement

00:27:49.680 --> 00:27:50.559
 because I think most of us

00:27:50.559 --> 00:27:51.880
 avoid hard conversations.

00:27:52.339 --> 00:27:52.920
 We just put them off,

00:27:52.980 --> 00:27:53.279
 put them off,

00:27:53.339 --> 00:27:53.619
 put them off,

00:27:53.660 --> 00:27:53.980
 put them off,

00:27:54.059 --> 00:27:54.900
 and avoid them altogether.

00:27:54.900 --> 00:27:55.940
 And he says,

00:27:56.019 --> 00:27:56.800
 a person's success

00:27:56.800 --> 00:27:57.660
 hinges largely

00:27:57.660 --> 00:27:58.380
 on their willingness

00:27:58.380 --> 00:27:59.000
 to do that.

00:27:59.300 --> 00:28:00.740
 I think 1 Peter 4

00:28:00.740 --> 00:28:02.180
 would amend that slightly

00:28:02.180 --> 00:28:04.259
 to say the sincerity

00:28:04.259 --> 00:28:05.640
 of a person's love

00:28:05.640 --> 00:28:07.700
 is measured largely

00:28:07.700 --> 00:28:08.820
 by their willingness

00:28:08.820 --> 00:28:10.660
 to have hard conversations.

00:28:11.840 --> 00:28:12.000
 You know,

00:28:12.060 --> 00:28:13.280
 Proverbs 27.6,

00:28:13.340 --> 00:28:13.840
 I love it.

00:28:14.100 --> 00:28:14.460
 It says,

00:28:15.120 --> 00:28:15.960
 faithful are the wounds

00:28:15.960 --> 00:28:16.640
 of a friend,

00:28:17.200 --> 00:28:18.820
 profuse are the kisses

00:28:18.820 --> 00:28:19.720
 of an enemy.

00:28:19.860 --> 00:28:21.200
 And that is absolutely

00:28:21.200 --> 00:28:22.740
 brilliant wisdom.

00:28:22.740 --> 00:28:25.120
 Faithful are the wounds

00:28:25.120 --> 00:28:25.859
 of a friend.

00:28:26.920 --> 00:28:27.059
 You know,

00:28:27.160 --> 00:28:27.960
 faithful friends

00:28:27.960 --> 00:28:28.559
 are friends

00:28:28.559 --> 00:28:29.319
 who are willing

00:28:29.319 --> 00:28:30.140
 to say things

00:28:30.140 --> 00:28:31.299
 that might wound you

00:28:31.299 --> 00:28:32.480
 or offend you

00:28:32.480 --> 00:28:33.420
 or hurt you.

00:28:34.700 --> 00:28:35.579
 That's what love

00:28:35.579 --> 00:28:36.480
 looks like, right?

00:28:36.720 --> 00:28:37.740
 So faithful friends

00:28:37.740 --> 00:28:38.319
 might say,

00:28:38.579 --> 00:28:39.940
 I notice that when we go out,

00:28:39.980 --> 00:28:40.839
 every time we go out,

00:28:41.079 --> 00:28:41.519
 you know,

00:28:41.559 --> 00:28:42.559
 we all have a couple of drinks

00:28:42.559 --> 00:28:43.400
 and then you just

00:28:43.400 --> 00:28:44.359
 don't ever seem to stop.

00:28:44.440 --> 00:28:44.839
 You have three,

00:28:45.000 --> 00:28:45.480
 four, five,

00:28:45.620 --> 00:28:46.000
 and I never,

00:28:46.220 --> 00:28:47.339
 I don't know what happens

00:28:47.339 --> 00:28:47.880
 to you after that.

00:28:47.940 --> 00:28:48.559
 We all go home,

00:28:48.620 --> 00:28:49.920
 but you always kind of stay out.

00:28:49.980 --> 00:28:50.579
 What's going on?

00:28:50.579 --> 00:28:52.939
 Faithful friends say,

00:28:53.019 --> 00:28:53.199
 you know,

00:28:53.319 --> 00:28:54.279
 ever since you've been

00:28:54.279 --> 00:28:55.079
 dating that person,

00:28:55.179 --> 00:28:56.279
 you've just started to change

00:28:56.279 --> 00:28:57.319
 and you're more distant

00:28:57.319 --> 00:28:58.000
 and I'm just,

00:28:58.359 --> 00:28:58.659
 you know,

00:28:58.699 --> 00:29:00.199
 I'm not seeing you around as much

00:29:00.199 --> 00:29:01.439
 and what's going on?

00:29:02.500 --> 00:29:02.679
 You know,

00:29:02.720 --> 00:29:03.759
 that's a faithful friend

00:29:03.759 --> 00:29:04.339
 is somebody who's willing

00:29:04.339 --> 00:29:05.240
 to sit down and say,

00:29:05.619 --> 00:29:05.859
 you know,

00:29:05.939 --> 00:29:07.919
 I'm not sure this decision

00:29:07.919 --> 00:29:09.099
 is having the best influence

00:29:09.099 --> 00:29:09.720
 on your family.

00:29:10.559 --> 00:29:11.779
 You're on the road a lot.

00:29:12.039 --> 00:29:12.859
 You and your wife

00:29:12.859 --> 00:29:13.679
 seem really distant.

00:29:13.799 --> 00:29:14.879
 Do you guys get any time together?

00:29:15.399 --> 00:29:16.199
 I'm concerned.

00:29:16.500 --> 00:29:17.460
 Can we talk about it?

00:29:18.579 --> 00:29:19.279
 Notice that that

00:29:19.279 --> 00:29:20.000
 it's not saying,

00:29:20.259 --> 00:29:21.339
 I'm condemning your choices.

00:29:21.920 --> 00:29:22.980
 It's not coming at somebody

00:29:22.980 --> 00:29:24.240
 with an attitude of condemnation.

00:29:24.339 --> 00:29:24.559
 Remember,

00:29:24.799 --> 00:29:25.799
 the overarching ethic

00:29:25.799 --> 00:29:26.599
 is one of love.

00:29:27.759 --> 00:29:28.019
 Right?

00:29:28.180 --> 00:29:29.399
 But what this does look like

00:29:29.399 --> 00:29:30.359
 is the posture

00:29:30.359 --> 00:29:30.920
 that you should have

00:29:30.920 --> 00:29:31.740
 is not condemnation,

00:29:31.879 --> 00:29:32.839
 but it is curiosity.

00:29:34.139 --> 00:29:34.980
 I'm curious.

00:29:35.460 --> 00:29:36.220
 Tell me more.

00:29:36.899 --> 00:29:37.619
 Help me understand

00:29:37.619 --> 00:29:38.240
 this decision

00:29:38.240 --> 00:29:39.079
 because there are a lot of people

00:29:39.079 --> 00:29:39.619
 that are concerned

00:29:39.619 --> 00:29:40.259
 about this decision.

00:29:40.519 --> 00:29:41.379
 Can you help me understand

00:29:41.379 --> 00:29:41.899
 your thinking?

00:29:42.079 --> 00:29:43.059
 How does this decision

00:29:43.059 --> 00:29:44.960
 resonate with your relationship

00:29:44.960 --> 00:29:45.460
 with Jesus?

00:29:45.819 --> 00:29:46.539
 Do you feel like

00:29:46.539 --> 00:29:47.279
 your relationship with Jesus

00:29:47.279 --> 00:29:47.920
 is stronger

00:29:47.920 --> 00:29:48.700
 as a result of this?

00:29:48.900 --> 00:29:49.180
 If not,

00:29:49.220 --> 00:29:50.060
 then why are you doing it?

00:29:50.660 --> 00:29:51.440
 That's curiosity.

00:29:51.820 --> 00:29:52.200
 It's just,

00:29:52.360 --> 00:29:53.180
 help me understand.

00:29:53.539 --> 00:29:54.200
 Let me in.

00:29:54.940 --> 00:29:56.380
 Do we have vulnerability or not?

00:29:56.700 --> 00:29:57.580
 That's what it looks like.

00:29:58.480 --> 00:29:59.080
 And by the way,

00:29:59.100 --> 00:30:00.180
 you're also being curious

00:30:00.180 --> 00:30:01.039
 because,

00:30:01.279 --> 00:30:01.539
 remember,

00:30:01.680 --> 00:30:02.500
 it's not about you.

00:30:03.279 --> 00:30:04.080
 It's about how God

00:30:04.080 --> 00:30:06.180
 might use this relationship.

00:30:06.320 --> 00:30:07.460
 It's how God

00:30:07.460 --> 00:30:08.340
 has designed us

00:30:08.340 --> 00:30:09.680
 to be faithful stewards

00:30:09.680 --> 00:30:10.279
 of grace.

00:30:10.380 --> 00:30:10.620
 And so,

00:30:10.800 --> 00:30:11.600
 if God's grace

00:30:11.600 --> 00:30:12.360
 is trying to break

00:30:12.360 --> 00:30:13.180
 into this person's life,

00:30:13.180 --> 00:30:14.140
 you're curious.

00:30:14.480 --> 00:30:15.340
 How's that going to happen?

00:30:15.419 --> 00:30:16.259
 What is God doing

00:30:16.259 --> 00:30:17.019
 in you right now?

00:30:17.179 --> 00:30:18.199
 Can we talk about that?

00:30:19.779 --> 00:30:20.579
 Faithful are the wounds

00:30:20.579 --> 00:30:20.899
 of a friend.

00:30:20.959 --> 00:30:21.699
 This is going to hurt,

00:30:21.799 --> 00:30:22.659
 but it's because I love you

00:30:22.659 --> 00:30:23.799
 and because God's grace

00:30:23.799 --> 00:30:25.079
 is trying to be poured

00:30:25.079 --> 00:30:25.679
 into your life.

00:30:25.740 --> 00:30:26.599
 What's that look like?

00:30:28.359 --> 00:30:29.359
 Profuse are the kisses

00:30:29.359 --> 00:30:29.839
 of an enemy.

00:30:30.980 --> 00:30:32.379
 If all someone does

00:30:32.379 --> 00:30:33.459
 is affirm you

00:30:33.459 --> 00:30:35.059
 and build you up

00:30:35.059 --> 00:30:35.879
 and no matter what,

00:30:35.899 --> 00:30:36.839
 I just want you to be happy

00:30:36.839 --> 00:30:38.699
 and you do what you think

00:30:38.699 --> 00:30:39.159
 is best

00:30:39.159 --> 00:30:39.699
 and you're going to make

00:30:39.699 --> 00:30:40.359
 great decisions

00:30:40.359 --> 00:30:40.859
 and I'm not,

00:30:42.000 --> 00:30:43.299
 that's not really a friend,

00:30:43.299 --> 00:30:43.579
 right?

00:30:43.639 --> 00:30:44.240
 Because that's not

00:30:44.240 --> 00:30:45.359
 actually loving you.

00:30:46.399 --> 00:30:47.519
 If I'm just affirming,

00:30:47.619 --> 00:30:47.879
 affirming,

00:30:47.980 --> 00:30:48.240
 affirming,

00:30:48.319 --> 00:30:48.599
 affirming,

00:30:48.720 --> 00:30:49.680
 it's not really about you,

00:30:49.759 --> 00:30:50.639
 I'm loving me

00:30:50.639 --> 00:30:52.039
 because I don't want

00:30:52.039 --> 00:30:52.980
 to have to stress about it,

00:30:53.019 --> 00:30:53.460
 I don't want to have

00:30:53.460 --> 00:30:54.079
 to think about it,

00:30:54.119 --> 00:30:54.940
 I don't want to lose sleep

00:30:54.940 --> 00:30:55.259
 over it,

00:30:55.279 --> 00:30:55.799
 I've got too much

00:30:55.799 --> 00:30:56.419
 going on in my life,

00:30:56.539 --> 00:30:57.200
 I don't have the time

00:30:57.200 --> 00:30:57.839
 and energy to really

00:30:57.839 --> 00:30:58.599
 get into this with you.

00:30:58.839 --> 00:30:59.159
 So hey,

00:30:59.240 --> 00:31:00.180
 just whatever makes you happy,

00:31:00.319 --> 00:31:00.960
 I've got this thing

00:31:00.960 --> 00:31:01.379
 over here.

00:31:02.220 --> 00:31:03.159
 That's not friendship.

00:31:05.000 --> 00:31:05.819
 Profuse are the kisses

00:31:05.819 --> 00:31:06.319
 of an enemy.

00:31:10.159 --> 00:31:11.019
 By the way,

00:31:11.500 --> 00:31:12.619
 I said earlier,

00:31:12.619 --> 00:31:13.379
 I think there's a connection

00:31:13.379 --> 00:31:14.079
 with hospitality.

00:31:14.259 --> 00:31:15.239
 I think there's no coincidence

00:31:15.239 --> 00:31:17.759
 here that Peter says

00:31:17.759 --> 00:31:18.559
 show hospitality

00:31:18.559 --> 00:31:19.899
 and then steward

00:31:19.899 --> 00:31:20.859
 your spiritual gifts,

00:31:21.059 --> 00:31:22.419
 which means sometimes,

00:31:22.500 --> 00:31:22.919
 many times,

00:31:22.979 --> 00:31:23.959
 having hard conversations

00:31:23.959 --> 00:31:24.559
 like this.

00:31:25.279 --> 00:31:26.259
 Because these kinds

00:31:26.259 --> 00:31:26.899
 of conversations

00:31:26.899 --> 00:31:28.319
 should always take place

00:31:28.319 --> 00:31:28.859
 in the context

00:31:28.859 --> 00:31:29.579
 of hospitality,

00:31:30.339 --> 00:31:30.819
 right?

00:31:31.359 --> 00:31:32.019
 If you're going to have

00:31:32.019 --> 00:31:32.879
 a conversation like this

00:31:32.879 --> 00:31:33.339
 with somebody,

00:31:33.799 --> 00:31:34.919
 it should be in your living room,

00:31:35.739 --> 00:31:35.959
 you know,

00:31:36.000 --> 00:31:36.479
 with some food

00:31:36.479 --> 00:31:37.399
 that you've prepared,

00:31:37.759 --> 00:31:38.039
 right?

00:31:38.359 --> 00:31:39.279
 That's where this is

00:31:39.279 --> 00:31:39.819
 meant to happen,

00:31:39.879 --> 00:31:40.539
 that's where loving

00:31:40.539 --> 00:31:42.259
 relationships play out.

00:31:42.619 --> 00:31:43.659
 So you need to

00:31:43.659 --> 00:31:44.639
 recognize your gifts

00:31:44.639 --> 00:31:45.399
 and use them,

00:31:45.459 --> 00:31:46.119
 even if it means

00:31:46.119 --> 00:31:47.439
 doing uncomfortable things,

00:31:47.759 --> 00:31:48.559
 because you actually

00:31:48.559 --> 00:31:49.519
 love your brothers

00:31:49.519 --> 00:31:50.059
 and sisters.

00:31:51.000 --> 00:31:51.539
 And then lastly,

00:31:51.659 --> 00:31:52.119
 number four,

00:31:52.539 --> 00:31:53.399
 recognize grace

00:31:53.399 --> 00:31:54.539
 when it comes to you.

00:31:55.339 --> 00:31:55.459
 Right?

00:31:55.500 --> 00:31:56.259
 So don't just be willing

00:31:56.259 --> 00:31:57.299
 to have the hard conversations,

00:31:57.639 --> 00:31:58.339
 receive them

00:31:58.339 --> 00:31:58.759
 when they come

00:31:58.759 --> 00:31:59.419
 into your life.

00:32:00.259 --> 00:32:00.500
 You know,

00:32:00.559 --> 00:32:01.919
 sometimes grace comes

00:32:01.919 --> 00:32:02.379
 in the form

00:32:02.379 --> 00:32:03.299
 of gentle encouragement,

00:32:03.679 --> 00:32:04.379
 praise God,

00:32:04.479 --> 00:32:05.439
 wonderful times.

00:32:05.859 --> 00:32:06.699
 But other times,

00:32:06.759 --> 00:32:07.559
 it comes in the form

00:32:07.559 --> 00:32:08.539
 of a hard conversation,

00:32:08.799 --> 00:32:09.419
 somebody being willing

00:32:09.420 --> 00:32:10.180
 to challenge you.

00:32:11.340 --> 00:32:11.720
 And you know,

00:32:11.759 --> 00:32:12.279
 over the years,

00:32:12.340 --> 00:32:13.259
 I've seen this play out

00:32:13.259 --> 00:32:14.400
 again and again and again.

00:32:14.680 --> 00:32:15.660
 Somebody will come

00:32:15.660 --> 00:32:16.259
 into our community

00:32:16.259 --> 00:32:17.600
 and they make friends

00:32:17.600 --> 00:32:18.700
 and they're great

00:32:18.700 --> 00:32:20.300
 and for maybe several years,

00:32:20.460 --> 00:32:21.400
 they're active

00:32:21.400 --> 00:32:22.060
 and involved

00:32:22.060 --> 00:32:23.160
 and every time you ask them

00:32:23.160 --> 00:32:23.600
 how's it going,

00:32:23.680 --> 00:32:23.940
 they say,

00:32:24.039 --> 00:32:24.820
 oh, everything's great,

00:32:25.200 --> 00:32:25.980
 totally fine.

00:32:26.380 --> 00:32:27.140
 I'm totally fine,

00:32:27.200 --> 00:32:27.860
 everything's great

00:32:27.860 --> 00:32:29.019
 and they're like a star.

00:32:29.320 --> 00:32:29.440
 You know,

00:32:29.500 --> 00:32:30.980
 they just got it all together.

00:32:32.080 --> 00:32:33.279
 And then something happens,

00:32:33.400 --> 00:32:33.759
 crisis,

00:32:34.380 --> 00:32:35.360
 bottom drops out

00:32:35.359 --> 00:32:36.699
 and all of a sudden,

00:32:37.019 --> 00:32:38.779
 their sin gets exposed,

00:32:39.359 --> 00:32:41.059
 their brokenness gets exposed,

00:32:41.199 --> 00:32:42.299
 the need gets exposed,

00:32:42.519 --> 00:32:43.339
 the fact that they don't

00:32:43.339 --> 00:32:44.039
 have it all together

00:32:44.039 --> 00:32:44.579
 and they're actually

00:32:44.579 --> 00:32:45.259
 kind of a mess,

00:32:45.479 --> 00:32:46.399
 all that comes out

00:32:46.399 --> 00:32:47.779
 and maybe a few people

00:32:47.779 --> 00:32:48.500
 learn about it,

00:32:48.519 --> 00:32:48.740
 right?

00:32:50.679 --> 00:32:52.079
 And in that moment,

00:32:52.159 --> 00:32:52.939
 when you're sitting there

00:32:52.939 --> 00:32:53.619
 and all of a sudden,

00:32:53.759 --> 00:32:54.299
 you're just,

00:32:54.399 --> 00:32:56.000
 your crap is just out there,

00:32:56.779 --> 00:32:58.119
 every single human being

00:32:58.119 --> 00:32:58.740
 on the planet

00:32:58.740 --> 00:32:59.679
 wants to run and hide.

00:33:01.059 --> 00:33:02.659
 Ever since Genesis chapter 3,

00:33:02.740 --> 00:33:03.479
 that's what human beings

00:33:03.479 --> 00:33:04.000
 have been doing.

00:33:04.000 --> 00:33:05.619
 The moment we get caught,

00:33:05.700 --> 00:33:06.619
 the moment God comes along

00:33:06.619 --> 00:33:06.900
 and says,

00:33:07.220 --> 00:33:08.480
 what have you been doing?

00:33:08.680 --> 00:33:09.839
 We run and we hide,

00:33:10.019 --> 00:33:10.259
 right?

00:33:10.539 --> 00:33:11.440
 That's human nature.

00:33:12.599 --> 00:33:12.920
 And so,

00:33:13.019 --> 00:33:13.759
 many people,

00:33:13.880 --> 00:33:15.220
 when they finally get exposed,

00:33:16.039 --> 00:33:17.279
 will do just that

00:33:17.279 --> 00:33:18.180
 and they'll go

00:33:18.180 --> 00:33:19.539
 and they'll start

00:33:19.539 --> 00:33:20.279
 to fade away.

00:33:21.039 --> 00:33:21.900
 They come less

00:33:21.900 --> 00:33:22.519
 and less and less.

00:33:22.599 --> 00:33:23.019
 They start kind of

00:33:23.019 --> 00:33:24.339
 dropping out of their small group.

00:33:24.480 --> 00:33:25.220
 Their kind of friends

00:33:25.220 --> 00:33:25.940
 see them less

00:33:25.940 --> 00:33:26.940
 or they'll start being

00:33:26.940 --> 00:33:27.640
 more selective

00:33:27.640 --> 00:33:28.640
 about who they talk to

00:33:28.640 --> 00:33:29.240
 and they'll start

00:33:29.240 --> 00:33:30.259
 cutting some people out

00:33:30.259 --> 00:33:31.200
 and talking to other people.

00:33:32.740 --> 00:33:33.279
 And then eventually,

00:33:33.420 --> 00:33:33.799
 people say,

00:33:33.799 --> 00:33:34.079
 you know,

00:33:35.359 --> 00:33:36.220
 I just think it's time

00:33:36.220 --> 00:33:36.940
 for a fresh start.

00:33:37.559 --> 00:33:38.180
 I think I just need

00:33:38.180 --> 00:33:39.019
 to go to another church

00:33:39.019 --> 00:33:40.039
 and I just need a fresh start.

00:33:40.159 --> 00:33:40.240
 So,

00:33:40.480 --> 00:33:41.159
 time in my life

00:33:41.159 --> 00:33:41.619
 where I'm just looking,

00:33:41.680 --> 00:33:42.539
 I just need a change,

00:33:42.659 --> 00:33:42.940
 you know?

00:33:43.460 --> 00:33:43.779
 And,

00:33:44.319 --> 00:33:44.619
 you know,

00:33:44.759 --> 00:33:45.019
 I mean,

00:33:45.059 --> 00:33:45.759
 call me cynical

00:33:45.759 --> 00:33:46.460
 and I am.

00:33:46.659 --> 00:33:47.339
 I'm a cynic

00:33:47.339 --> 00:33:47.859
 and it's something

00:33:47.859 --> 00:33:48.759
 I need to repent of.

00:33:49.700 --> 00:33:49.919
 But,

00:33:50.099 --> 00:33:51.339
 so I'll admit that.

00:33:51.539 --> 00:33:52.119
 But a lot of times

00:33:52.119 --> 00:33:52.619
 when I hear that,

00:33:52.700 --> 00:33:52.940
 I think,

00:33:53.019 --> 00:33:54.000
 what you're really saying

00:33:54.000 --> 00:33:54.659
 is you want to go

00:33:54.659 --> 00:33:55.299
 to a place

00:33:55.299 --> 00:33:56.460
 where people don't know you

00:33:56.460 --> 00:33:57.779
 so you can continue

00:33:57.779 --> 00:33:58.899
 to try to convince people

00:33:58.899 --> 00:33:59.440
 that you've got it

00:33:59.440 --> 00:33:59.879
 all together.

00:34:00.759 --> 00:34:01.399
 You can buy

00:34:01.399 --> 00:34:02.299
 a few more years

00:34:02.299 --> 00:34:03.680
 of hiding behind that facade.

00:34:04.960 --> 00:34:05.399
 So,

00:34:05.500 --> 00:34:05.639
 so,

00:34:05.720 --> 00:34:06.960
 so some people do leave,

00:34:07.279 --> 00:34:07.579
 you know?

00:34:07.659 --> 00:34:08.480
 And that's okay

00:34:08.480 --> 00:34:08.840
 because,

00:34:08.980 --> 00:34:09.259
 again,

00:34:09.460 --> 00:34:10.719
 it's not about us.

00:34:10.900 --> 00:34:11.759
 It's about God

00:34:11.759 --> 00:34:13.039
 working His grace

00:34:13.039 --> 00:34:13.779
 in His way.

00:34:13.860 --> 00:34:13.980
 So,

00:34:14.119 --> 00:34:15.420
 they still belong to God,

00:34:15.759 --> 00:34:16.019
 right?

00:34:16.019 --> 00:34:16.219
 So,

00:34:16.219 --> 00:34:17.699
 it doesn't depend on us.

00:34:18.519 --> 00:34:19.519
 But I will tell you

00:34:19.519 --> 00:34:20.480
 that sometimes,

00:34:21.280 --> 00:34:21.960
 miraculously,

00:34:22.380 --> 00:34:23.199
 people stay.

00:34:24.460 --> 00:34:25.280
 They stay.

00:34:25.739 --> 00:34:26.579
 They get exposed

00:34:26.579 --> 00:34:27.280
 and all their crap

00:34:27.280 --> 00:34:27.719
 is out there

00:34:27.719 --> 00:34:28.079
 and people,

00:34:28.280 --> 00:34:28.579
 you know,

00:34:28.699 --> 00:34:30.199
 people start to surround them

00:34:30.199 --> 00:34:30.820
 and start to step

00:34:30.820 --> 00:34:31.280
 into their life

00:34:31.280 --> 00:34:32.380
 and they want to run

00:34:32.380 --> 00:34:32.860
 but they say,

00:34:32.940 --> 00:34:33.079
 no,

00:34:33.139 --> 00:34:33.759
 I'm just going to stay.

00:34:33.920 --> 00:34:34.539
 And it's like staying

00:34:34.539 --> 00:34:35.519
 on the operating table.

00:34:36.320 --> 00:34:37.559
 And God is this surgeon

00:34:37.559 --> 00:34:38.780
 and He's starting to go to work

00:34:38.780 --> 00:34:39.719
 and they're freaking out

00:34:39.719 --> 00:34:40.239
 and they're scared

00:34:40.239 --> 00:34:40.860
 but then they begin

00:34:40.860 --> 00:34:41.420
 to look around

00:34:41.420 --> 00:34:42.420
 and they begin to realize.

00:34:43.420 --> 00:34:44.400
 Look at this community

00:34:44.400 --> 00:34:44.940
 that God

00:34:44.940 --> 00:34:46.039
 in His infinite wisdom

00:34:46.039 --> 00:34:47.440
 has surrounded me with.

00:34:47.619 --> 00:34:47.720
 Well,

00:34:47.860 --> 00:34:48.579
 here's a person

00:34:48.579 --> 00:34:50.119
 who can pray for me to heal

00:34:50.119 --> 00:34:51.039
 and here's a person

00:34:51.039 --> 00:34:51.840
 who has faith

00:34:51.840 --> 00:34:52.700
 beyond anything

00:34:52.700 --> 00:34:53.340
 that I've ever seen

00:34:53.340 --> 00:34:53.940
 and here's a person

00:34:53.940 --> 00:34:54.860
 who's going to show up

00:34:54.860 --> 00:34:55.460
 late at night

00:34:55.460 --> 00:34:56.320
 to do my laundry

00:34:56.320 --> 00:34:56.960
 to make sure I have

00:34:56.960 --> 00:34:57.700
 something to wear to work

00:34:57.700 --> 00:34:58.460
 and here's somebody

00:34:58.460 --> 00:34:59.559
 who's going to bring me food

00:34:59.559 --> 00:35:00.119
 and here's somebody

00:35:00.119 --> 00:35:00.920
 who's going to organize

00:35:00.920 --> 00:35:01.980
 a prayer chain

00:35:01.980 --> 00:35:03.059
 so that people are praying for me

00:35:03.059 --> 00:35:03.760
 around the clock

00:35:03.760 --> 00:35:04.579
 and here's somebody

00:35:04.579 --> 00:35:05.820
 who can actually counsel me

00:35:05.820 --> 00:35:06.920
 and help me work through this

00:35:06.920 --> 00:35:07.579
 and here's somebody

00:35:07.579 --> 00:35:08.500
 who's going to speak

00:35:08.500 --> 00:35:09.460
 and teach God's Word

00:35:09.460 --> 00:35:10.240
 in a whole new way

00:35:10.240 --> 00:35:11.200
 and all of a sudden

00:35:11.200 --> 00:35:12.000
 you begin to realize

00:35:12.000 --> 00:35:12.920
 God actually knows

00:35:12.920 --> 00:35:13.500
 what He's doing.

00:35:15.159 --> 00:35:16.360
 He's on to something

00:35:16.360 --> 00:35:19.719
 because all that time

00:35:19.719 --> 00:35:20.639
 that it was great

00:35:20.639 --> 00:35:21.400
 and you were coming

00:35:21.400 --> 00:35:22.440
 and everything was fine

00:35:22.440 --> 00:35:23.179
 and you're, you know,

00:35:23.239 --> 00:35:24.420
 coming to church every Sunday

00:35:24.420 --> 00:35:25.420
 and leading small groups

00:35:25.420 --> 00:35:26.119
 and everything's great,

00:35:26.239 --> 00:35:26.960
 all that time

00:35:26.960 --> 00:35:27.719
 your growth

00:35:27.719 --> 00:35:28.719
 had really plateaued.

00:35:29.820 --> 00:35:30.079
 You know,

00:35:30.139 --> 00:35:31.059
 growth in the Christian life

00:35:31.059 --> 00:35:32.219
 isn't just like this.

00:35:33.340 --> 00:35:34.119
 At least in my life

00:35:34.119 --> 00:35:34.840
 you kind of go along,

00:35:34.900 --> 00:35:35.519
 go along, go along

00:35:35.519 --> 00:35:37.380
 and it's in those crisis moments,

00:35:37.480 --> 00:35:37.599
 right?

00:35:37.639 --> 00:35:39.000
 The Bible calls time,

00:35:39.139 --> 00:35:39.260
 you know,

00:35:39.260 --> 00:35:40.139
 not chronos time

00:35:40.139 --> 00:35:41.059
 but kairos time.

00:35:41.059 --> 00:35:42.920
 It's this divinely appointed moment

00:35:42.920 --> 00:35:44.380
 where the bottom drops out of your life

00:35:44.380 --> 00:35:47.259
 and you stay on the surgeon's table

00:35:47.259 --> 00:35:48.880
 and you stay under the knife

00:35:48.880 --> 00:35:50.759
 and you trust the community around you.

00:35:51.519 --> 00:35:53.360
 Those are the times that you grow.

00:35:54.659 --> 00:35:55.940
 Those are the times that you grow.

00:35:56.719 --> 00:35:58.079
 So every now and then people stay

00:35:58.079 --> 00:35:59.599
 and they grow.

00:35:59.599 --> 00:36:06.039
 I can tell you from my own life

00:36:06.039 --> 00:36:09.699
 that my growth has happened

00:36:09.699 --> 00:36:13.199
 not when I was cruising along,

00:36:13.880 --> 00:36:16.059
 not when people were encouraging me

00:36:16.059 --> 00:36:16.940
 or complimenting me

00:36:16.940 --> 00:36:18.779
 or telling me ways that, you know,

00:36:19.259 --> 00:36:20.779
 things that I want to hear.

00:36:21.759 --> 00:36:23.259
 Almost exclusively,

00:36:23.559 --> 00:36:25.360
 whatever growth I've experienced in my life,

00:36:25.420 --> 00:36:27.299
 I've experienced when people have called me out,

00:36:27.300 --> 00:36:29.120
 called me to the mat,

00:36:29.480 --> 00:36:30.240
 challenged me,

00:36:30.580 --> 00:36:32.220
 or they've been there

00:36:32.220 --> 00:36:34.120
 when something got exposed in my life

00:36:34.120 --> 00:36:35.300
 that I needed to deal with.

00:36:36.120 --> 00:36:37.080
 That's when it happens.

00:36:38.680 --> 00:36:39.800
 So this is what it means

00:36:39.800 --> 00:36:40.940
 to be stewards of grace.

00:36:41.860 --> 00:36:43.019
 It means loving each other

00:36:43.019 --> 00:36:44.500
 and serving each other with our gifts

00:36:44.500 --> 00:36:46.400
 as an interdependent community.

00:36:46.620 --> 00:36:47.280
 And we do this all

00:36:47.280 --> 00:36:49.039
 because Jesus was willing to love us

00:36:49.039 --> 00:36:50.360
 and serve us

00:36:50.360 --> 00:36:51.039
 by giving us

00:36:51.039 --> 00:36:53.780
 the ultimate gift of his own life,

00:36:53.840 --> 00:36:55.440
 which is what makes all of this possible.

00:36:55.440 --> 00:36:58.539
 Heavenly Father,