WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:04.639 And if I had to give the message a title this morning, it would be Joseph the Forgotten Hero 00:00:04.639 --> 00:00:09.519 or another title that might be appropriate as well, Looking for a Husband. 00:00:10.259 --> 00:00:12.060 How many of you are looking for a husband right now? 00:00:12.120 --> 00:00:13.120 You don't need to raise your hand. 00:00:13.160 --> 00:00:13.679 I'm just teasing. 00:00:14.939 --> 00:00:21.359 But there may be some young ladies here who are, and some of you are perhaps parents and grandparents, 00:00:21.359 --> 00:00:28.179 and you're looking ahead and wondering what kind of guy your daughter, your granddaughter, is one day going to marry. 00:00:28.759 --> 00:00:35.200 And so I want to give you some information you might find useful down the way as you try to instruct them. 00:00:35.280 --> 00:00:37.960 In fact, let me just give you a quick word of pastoral advice. 00:00:38.399 --> 00:00:42.679 Don't wait until they bring somebody home and say, well, now, he doesn't meet this qualification. 00:00:43.100 --> 00:00:46.379 You know, give them the qualifications before they go searching, right? 00:00:46.379 --> 00:00:52.019 And then that way you won't have those kind of contradictions later on in life. 00:00:52.700 --> 00:00:58.140 A lot of heroes, the best heroes in life, it seems to me, are often folk who are overlooked. 00:00:58.780 --> 00:01:00.560 We don't know they're heroes in the moment. 00:01:01.159 --> 00:01:08.180 And oftentimes it's because of the kind of traits they have in their life that just kind of make them blend into the fabric of the scene, 00:01:08.420 --> 00:01:09.760 and we don't see them much. 00:01:10.159 --> 00:01:15.060 I know all of you in this room have been to Christmas plays about the nativity, right? 00:01:15.060 --> 00:01:21.000 Joseph is the part that everybody wants because Joseph is a non-speaking role. 00:01:21.280 --> 00:01:22.960 He just has to stand there and look pretty, right? 00:01:23.100 --> 00:01:27.060 He stands there over Mary's shoulder and he looks down at the baby Jesus. 00:01:27.060 --> 00:01:37.020 But the truth of the matter is, Joseph, by every possible definition, is a real, real, real hero. 00:01:37.299 --> 00:01:41.760 And we're going to look at him this morning, and that's what is going to lead us in the second half of the message, 00:01:41.939 --> 00:01:46.240 where we talk about how do you become the kind of daddy that you need to be? 00:01:46.320 --> 00:01:50.020 How do you become the kind of husband, the kind of father, the kind of grandfather you want to be? 00:01:50.019 --> 00:01:53.420 Well, look at Joseph, because he's a good example. 00:01:53.579 --> 00:01:59.819 If you're looking for a husband, if you're approaching it from that perspective, look for a guy like Joseph. 00:02:00.000 --> 00:02:06.519 And I want to show you why, because a lot of folk, I think, just completely overlook this character, Joseph. 00:02:07.379 --> 00:02:11.900 I'm going to tell you this morning, everything about Joseph, it's possible to know. 00:02:12.219 --> 00:02:16.840 Not because I'm smart, but because there are just limited verses that talk about Joseph, right? 00:02:16.840 --> 00:02:21.620 So if you have your Bibles, get ready to open them to Matthew chapter 1. 00:02:22.159 --> 00:02:27.560 Before you even do that or while you're doing that, I'm going to tell you one quick thing about Joseph. 00:02:27.659 --> 00:02:28.819 You don't even need to look up. 00:02:28.900 --> 00:02:32.500 It's found in Matthew chapter 13 and verse 35. 00:02:32.840 --> 00:02:37.960 You don't need to go there, but here's what it says, that Joseph was a carpenter. 00:02:38.360 --> 00:02:40.319 It gives us two pieces of information. 00:02:40.719 --> 00:02:45.580 He's a carpenter, and he's a man who lives in Nazareth, right? 00:02:45.580 --> 00:02:47.920 We've talked about Nazareth before. 00:02:48.120 --> 00:02:49.300 It's also the home of Mary. 00:02:49.880 --> 00:02:52.380 It's a sleepy little town not far from Capernaum. 00:02:52.840 --> 00:02:58.800 It's in the Galilean region near the Sea of Galilee, and that's what we know from Matthew 13, 35. 00:02:59.080 --> 00:03:01.540 He's a carpenter, and he's from Nazareth. 00:03:02.020 --> 00:03:03.320 Well, look at the second passage. 00:03:03.460 --> 00:03:04.420 There are three passages. 00:03:05.140 --> 00:03:11.720 The second passage is Matthew chapter 1 and verse 18 and following. 00:03:11.719 --> 00:03:18.740 And so if you have your Bibles, let's look to Matthew chapter 1, and we're going to read beginning in verse 18. 00:03:19.259 --> 00:03:21.500 The birth of Jesus came about this way. 00:03:22.099 --> 00:03:28.879 After his mother Mary had been engaged to Joseph, it was discovered before they came together that she was pregnant by the Holy Spirit. 00:03:28.879 --> 00:03:37.079 So her husband Joseph, being a righteous man, not wanting to disgrace her publicly, decided to divorce her secretly. 00:03:37.620 --> 00:03:43.240 But after he had considered these things, an angel of the Lord suddenly appeared to him in a dream, saying, 00:03:43.340 --> 00:03:51.419 Joseph, son of David, don't be afraid to take Mary as your wife, because what she has been conceived in her is by the Holy Spirit. 00:03:51.419 --> 00:03:58.459 She will give birth to a son, and you're to name him Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins. 00:03:59.079 --> 00:04:02.519 All this took place to fulfill what was spoken by the Lord through the prophet. 00:04:03.039 --> 00:04:12.179 See, the virgin will become pregnant and give birth to a son, and they will name him Emmanuel, which is translated, God is with us. 00:04:12.679 --> 00:04:17.000 When Joseph got up from sleeping, he did as the Lord's angel had commanded. 00:04:17.000 --> 00:04:25.720 He married her, but did not know her intimately until she gave birth to a son, and he named him Jesus. 00:04:26.399 --> 00:04:28.540 Now, if you will, look down to chapter 2. 00:04:28.740 --> 00:04:30.620 This is the second passage about Joseph. 00:04:31.199 --> 00:04:36.019 Chapter 2, verse 13 through verse 15. 00:04:36.839 --> 00:04:41.779 After they were gone, an angel of the Lord suddenly appeared to Joseph in a dream. 00:04:42.180 --> 00:04:43.779 Now, this is following his birth. 00:04:43.779 --> 00:04:46.560 It's following the visitation of the wise men. 00:04:46.560 --> 00:04:49.720 They come, and they present gifts, and they go their way. 00:04:50.360 --> 00:04:54.199 After they were gone, an angel of the Lord suddenly appeared to Joseph in a dream, saying, 00:04:54.379 --> 00:05:00.699 Get up, take the child and his mother, flee to Egypt, and stay there until I tell you. 00:05:01.280 --> 00:05:03.939 For Herod is about to search for the child to destroy him. 00:05:04.560 --> 00:05:09.459 So he got up, took the child and his mother during the night, and escaped to Egypt. 00:05:09.459 --> 00:05:17.120 He stayed there until Herod's death, so that what was spoken by the Lord through the prophet might be fulfilled out of Egypt. 00:05:17.539 --> 00:05:19.639 I called my son. 00:05:20.359 --> 00:05:22.839 Now, one last passage, and we're done with our reading. 00:05:23.299 --> 00:05:24.500 Go with me to Luke. 00:05:25.099 --> 00:05:28.979 Luke's Gospel, chapter 2 and verse 1. 00:05:29.060 --> 00:05:31.120 I'm going to give you a chance to turn there before I read. 00:05:31.439 --> 00:05:34.799 Luke chapter 2, verse 1 through verse 7. 00:05:34.800 --> 00:05:37.960 Last thing we know about Joseph. 00:05:38.600 --> 00:05:45.560 In those days, a decree went out from Caesar Augustus that the whole empire should be registered. 00:05:46.520 --> 00:05:55.720 This first registration took place while Quirinius was governing Syria. 00:05:55.720 --> 00:05:59.220 So everyone went to be registered, each to his own town. 00:06:00.020 --> 00:06:08.080 And Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to the city of Nazareth, which is called Bethlehem, 00:06:08.360 --> 00:06:15.080 because he was of the house and family line of David, to be registered along with Mary, who was engaged to him and was pregnant. 00:06:16.060 --> 00:06:18.940 While they were there, the time came for her to give birth. 00:06:18.939 --> 00:06:26.459 Then she gave birth to her firstborn son, and she wrapped him snugly in cloth and laid him in a feeding trough, 00:06:26.639 --> 00:06:29.980 because there was no room for them in the inn. 00:06:31.060 --> 00:06:40.300 I want to share with you this morning five things we learned from these three passages of Scripture that we've read this morning about Joseph. 00:06:40.720 --> 00:06:46.339 And then we're going to take that and see what we can learn from what these passages tell us. 00:06:46.339 --> 00:06:51.959 The first thing I'd tell you about Joseph, the obvious thing that we said at the very outset of the message, 00:06:52.639 --> 00:06:54.719 Joseph is a carpenter. 00:06:55.539 --> 00:06:58.519 Now, I don't know if we've got any carpenters in the room or not. 00:06:58.659 --> 00:07:00.979 We probably have some fellows here who work with wood. 00:07:01.060 --> 00:07:03.000 We may have some who are professional carpenters. 00:07:03.459 --> 00:07:09.279 But I can tell you honestly, I've always had a deep admiration for two different type skill sets. 00:07:09.419 --> 00:07:12.779 Those are carpenters and those are mechanics. 00:07:12.779 --> 00:07:17.719 Because you're looking at somebody who doesn't have any of those gifts, right? 00:07:17.779 --> 00:07:22.739 I always wished I could have been a carpenter or knew something about mechanical things, 00:07:22.859 --> 00:07:24.799 but I'm just not wired that way. 00:07:25.179 --> 00:07:25.859 I'm going to tell you something. 00:07:25.939 --> 00:07:29.979 I have great, great admiration for those folk because in my mind, 00:07:30.339 --> 00:07:33.719 they really and truly, at the end of the day, they're artists. 00:07:33.959 --> 00:07:35.619 They're more than just craftsmen. 00:07:35.959 --> 00:07:38.039 They're more than just guys who've learned a trade. 00:07:38.619 --> 00:07:39.779 They're actually artists. 00:07:39.779 --> 00:07:40.419 Artists. 00:07:40.979 --> 00:07:45.679 How many of you have drawn, you take something and you look at a picture over here 00:07:45.679 --> 00:07:48.479 and you try to draw what you've seen on a sheet of paper? 00:07:49.019 --> 00:07:51.119 Everybody in this room has done it one time or another, right? 00:07:51.579 --> 00:07:52.759 I can do that okay. 00:07:53.139 --> 00:07:54.239 I can look at a scene. 00:07:54.339 --> 00:07:58.199 If it's not a real complicated scene, I can pretty much take another sheet of paper 00:07:58.199 --> 00:08:00.699 and as long as I've got it right there beside me, I can do that. 00:08:00.779 --> 00:08:05.079 If it comes to shadowing, like faces or portraits, I just can't do that at all. 00:08:05.079 --> 00:08:09.519 But if it's a scene, some type of scene of a country scene or a building, 00:08:09.979 --> 00:08:13.599 I can look at that and I can fairly well sketch what I see on that paper. 00:08:13.699 --> 00:08:14.060 You know why? 00:08:14.199 --> 00:08:16.539 It takes no imagination at all. 00:08:16.939 --> 00:08:20.620 It just takes a little bit of ability to look at this 00:08:20.620 --> 00:08:23.680 and then to put it in proportion over here on this sheet of the paper. 00:08:24.299 --> 00:08:26.759 But with artists, I don't know if you've ever thought about this. 00:08:26.819 --> 00:08:28.339 Many of you have and already know this. 00:08:28.379 --> 00:08:29.139 Some of you are artists. 00:08:30.180 --> 00:08:31.439 Artists don't work that way. 00:08:31.439 --> 00:08:36.159 Artists see in their mind what they're going to do 00:08:36.159 --> 00:08:39.720 before they ever put it on a canvas or before they ever put it on a sheet of paper. 00:08:40.500 --> 00:08:42.379 They envision it, right? 00:08:43.419 --> 00:08:44.980 Because they see it. 00:08:45.659 --> 00:08:47.360 And that's the way it is with carpenters. 00:08:47.580 --> 00:08:50.860 Carpenters can look at a space and you tell them what you want to build 00:08:50.860 --> 00:08:55.080 and you describe it a little bit to them and it comes alive in their mind. 00:08:55.740 --> 00:08:57.639 Now, me, all I can do is cut boards. 00:08:57.720 --> 00:08:59.279 You want a board five foot long? 00:08:59.340 --> 00:09:00.620 I cut your board five foot long. 00:09:00.620 --> 00:09:02.200 But I'm not an artist. 00:09:02.340 --> 00:09:03.279 I can't do that. 00:09:03.360 --> 00:09:04.659 That takes a real craftsman. 00:09:05.039 --> 00:09:06.299 Same way with mechanics. 00:09:06.500 --> 00:09:09.060 When I was a kid, they didn't have all this diagnostic equipment. 00:09:09.340 --> 00:09:13.060 When you went in with your car and it needed to be repaired when I was a boy, 00:09:13.399 --> 00:09:14.299 this will date me, right? 00:09:14.379 --> 00:09:15.419 Some of you young ones here. 00:09:15.899 --> 00:09:18.159 You know what they used to say, Brian, when you walked in with your car? 00:09:18.519 --> 00:09:19.980 They didn't have all that diagnostic equipment. 00:09:20.080 --> 00:09:21.080 They'd say, what's wrong with it? 00:09:21.139 --> 00:09:22.019 And you'd say, well, I don't know. 00:09:22.060 --> 00:09:22.759 That's why I'm bringing it to you. 00:09:22.799 --> 00:09:24.460 And they'd say, well, what noise is it making? 00:09:25.299 --> 00:09:26.560 And you'd try to make that noise. 00:09:26.559 --> 00:09:30.519 And if you couldn't imitate that noise, he'd crank it and listen to it. 00:09:30.539 --> 00:09:34.259 And if he couldn't tell, he'd drive it down the road and come back and say, well, here's what's wrong with it. 00:09:34.879 --> 00:09:36.739 Because they were artists. 00:09:37.179 --> 00:09:37.719 They understood. 00:09:37.899 --> 00:09:42.039 They could see things that the average guy can't see, right? 00:09:42.039 --> 00:09:44.860 So this is an incredibly smart man. 00:09:44.959 --> 00:09:47.519 A lot of carpenters, most of them don't have PhDs. 00:09:47.599 --> 00:09:49.219 A lot of them don't have college education. 00:09:49.699 --> 00:09:51.179 But they're gifted guys. 00:09:51.319 --> 00:09:52.360 They're insightful guys. 00:09:52.459 --> 00:09:52.980 They're artists. 00:09:53.099 --> 00:09:53.679 They're smart. 00:09:54.000 --> 00:09:55.679 They're good with their hands. 00:09:55.899 --> 00:09:57.519 Joseph was a carpenter. 00:09:57.819 --> 00:09:59.519 Second thing I know about Joseph is this. 00:09:59.879 --> 00:10:02.799 Joseph is engaged to be married to Mary. 00:10:03.819 --> 00:10:06.099 Remember what we said last week when we were talking about Mary? 00:10:07.000 --> 00:10:10.139 Mary and about engagement to Mary. 00:10:10.139 --> 00:10:13.559 Mary, engagement then wasn't like engagement today. 00:10:14.240 --> 00:10:17.659 You recall I told you last week if you were here, a guy drops to one knee. 00:10:17.819 --> 00:10:18.899 He says, will you marry me? 00:10:19.139 --> 00:10:19.960 She says, yes. 00:10:20.179 --> 00:10:21.919 He puts a diamond on her hand, right? 00:10:23.019 --> 00:10:25.059 They might be engaged two weeks. 00:10:25.179 --> 00:10:26.539 They might be engaged six months. 00:10:26.600 --> 00:10:28.740 They might be engaged five years sometimes. 00:10:29.000 --> 00:10:29.779 Long engagements. 00:10:30.620 --> 00:10:33.799 In that day and time, engagements lasted one year. 00:10:34.360 --> 00:10:37.720 When you came to place, your family picked out the one they wanted you to marry, 00:10:37.720 --> 00:10:45.259 and you agreed, it was all arranged, and it was a formal legal binding contract. 00:10:45.560 --> 00:10:53.300 That's the reason the Scripture says when he had in mind to put her away, he knew he was going to have to divorce her. 00:10:53.860 --> 00:10:55.519 Today, you just give the ring back, right? 00:10:55.899 --> 00:10:58.580 You just don't show up at the church on the wedding day, right? 00:10:58.580 --> 00:11:00.259 And the wedding is off. 00:11:00.520 --> 00:11:02.200 But in that day and time, it was a big deal. 00:11:02.520 --> 00:11:09.340 You had to legally divorce them to put them away and out of your life and to move on in another direction. 00:11:09.840 --> 00:11:12.420 So Joseph is engaged to be married. 00:11:13.220 --> 00:11:15.180 Now, for some of you, it's been a long time. 00:11:15.240 --> 00:11:16.259 For me, 49 years. 00:11:16.360 --> 00:11:19.000 This June will be 50 years for me and Regina. 00:11:19.220 --> 00:11:20.000 Can I tell you something? 00:11:20.620 --> 00:11:26.679 I can remember, even though it's been 49 and a half years, how excited I was the day I gave her that ring. 00:11:27.240 --> 00:11:31.759 I can remember seeing her come down the aisle and just getting giddy, you know. 00:11:31.820 --> 00:11:32.679 She looked so beautiful. 00:11:32.779 --> 00:11:33.620 She came down the aisle. 00:11:34.639 --> 00:11:37.059 It's exciting to be engaged, isn't it? 00:11:37.059 --> 00:11:38.419 I've got a daughter of 47. 00:11:38.500 --> 00:11:40.159 She's 47 years old today. 00:11:40.379 --> 00:11:42.100 She's getting married in less than a month. 00:11:42.259 --> 00:11:43.460 Boy, you're talking about excited. 00:11:44.120 --> 00:11:44.960 She's excited. 00:11:45.100 --> 00:11:45.899 We're excited. 00:11:46.740 --> 00:11:47.899 She's off my taxes. 00:11:48.019 --> 00:11:49.539 I don't have to go blow her leaves anymore. 00:11:50.000 --> 00:11:53.259 Joseph was excited. 00:11:54.059 --> 00:11:55.460 Man, he was excited. 00:11:56.379 --> 00:12:00.779 And yet, he finds out that she is pregnant. 00:12:00.879 --> 00:12:02.279 That's the third thing I want you to see. 00:12:02.440 --> 00:12:10.259 Before they come together, Joseph discovers, chapter 1, verse 18, that Mary is expecting a baby. 00:12:11.220 --> 00:12:11.899 She's pregnant. 00:12:12.879 --> 00:12:13.879 Now, how did that come about? 00:12:13.980 --> 00:12:15.080 The Bible doesn't tell us. 00:12:15.740 --> 00:12:18.220 But you can use a little bit of common sense and figure it out. 00:12:18.220 --> 00:12:23.180 The angel Gabriel comes to Mary and he says to Mary, Mary, you're going to have a baby. 00:12:24.460 --> 00:12:25.860 She's trying to take all that in. 00:12:26.800 --> 00:12:29.680 He says, the Holy Spirit's going to overshadow you. 00:12:29.720 --> 00:12:33.779 I know you've never been with a man, but the Holy Spirit's going to overshadow you and you're going to be pregnant with this baby. 00:12:35.080 --> 00:12:36.320 He knows her mind's blown. 00:12:37.139 --> 00:12:39.800 He says, let me tell you something that will help confirm this for you. 00:12:39.799 --> 00:12:43.879 Your relative, Elizabeth, who doesn't live here. 00:12:44.039 --> 00:12:45.699 She lives not too far from here. 00:12:46.219 --> 00:12:47.379 She's expecting right now. 00:12:47.439 --> 00:12:49.259 She's in her sixth month of pregnancy. 00:12:49.899 --> 00:12:54.120 As soon as this conversation's over, the next morning, Mary gets up and goes to see Elizabeth. 00:12:54.259 --> 00:12:57.519 When she knocks at the door, here comes Elizabeth, this old woman. 00:12:57.839 --> 00:13:00.379 She opens the door and behold, she's pregnant. 00:13:01.120 --> 00:13:02.279 Mary can't believe it. 00:13:02.279 --> 00:13:05.860 She knows now what the angel has said is going to come to pass. 00:13:06.679 --> 00:13:13.159 I think she goes back to Nazareth and probably, I can't confirm this, don't have any way of knowing this, 00:13:13.439 --> 00:13:20.600 but probably within a few hours, a few days, no doubt, at least within a few weeks, 00:13:21.179 --> 00:13:24.100 she goes to Joseph and says, Joseph, we need to have a conversation. 00:13:24.899 --> 00:13:28.100 I don't know how to tell you this, but I'm going to have a baby. 00:13:28.100 --> 00:13:31.040 Now, this is a woman he's legally engaged to. 00:13:31.180 --> 00:13:33.360 In fact, he's literally married to her. 00:13:33.680 --> 00:13:35.200 They're just not living together. 00:13:35.940 --> 00:13:37.899 I'm going to have a baby, right? 00:13:38.500 --> 00:13:41.720 That's the news she breaks to Joseph. 00:13:42.300 --> 00:13:43.680 So here's the big question. 00:13:44.639 --> 00:13:46.180 How do you think he took that? 00:13:47.680 --> 00:13:54.860 How do you think any man in this room would take it if your fiancé came to you and said to you, 00:13:55.379 --> 00:13:56.540 I'm going to have a baby? 00:13:56.539 --> 00:13:59.759 And listen, she says something else. 00:14:00.639 --> 00:14:04.919 I'm going to have a baby, and this baby, you know it's not yours, and I know it's not yours 00:14:04.919 --> 00:14:06.959 because you and I know we've not been together. 00:14:08.059 --> 00:14:09.699 This baby is a miracle baby. 00:14:10.659 --> 00:14:16.000 This baby is a baby that God has placed within me, and I don't understand all that, 00:14:16.480 --> 00:14:21.179 but the angel told me the Holy Spirit of God had placed this baby within me. 00:14:21.379 --> 00:14:22.139 Does he believe her? 00:14:24.319 --> 00:14:26.480 We can't judge him because we don't know, right? 00:14:26.539 --> 00:14:30.179 We can speculate, but we don't know. 00:14:30.919 --> 00:14:33.099 But I'll tell you the one thing I do know. 00:14:33.620 --> 00:14:38.959 Joseph knows it's not mine because he hasn't been with Mary. 00:14:40.419 --> 00:14:41.899 The town doesn't know that. 00:14:41.980 --> 00:14:43.159 His parents don't know that. 00:14:43.240 --> 00:14:44.379 Her parents don't know that. 00:14:44.480 --> 00:14:48.939 Nobody knows that except Mary and Joseph, but Joseph knows that. 00:14:48.940 --> 00:14:53.800 He knows whoever's baby it is, it's not my baby, right? 00:14:53.799 --> 00:15:01.620 He has to deal with this question that no doubt is in his mind, forefront of his mind. 00:15:02.620 --> 00:15:04.000 I want to believe Mary. 00:15:04.159 --> 00:15:04.979 I trust Mary. 00:15:05.120 --> 00:15:06.099 She's a good girl. 00:15:06.279 --> 00:15:10.159 I haven't seen anything that would suggest to me this could be anybody else's baby 00:15:10.159 --> 00:15:11.399 but the Holy Spirit's baby. 00:15:11.399 --> 00:15:20.919 But in the history of the world, no one has ever become pregnant without a man and a woman being together sexually. 00:15:20.919 --> 00:15:23.620 You understand that? 00:15:24.599 --> 00:15:31.299 So he's trying to sort all this out and get in his head what's going on. 00:15:31.659 --> 00:15:32.939 How do you think he's feeling? 00:15:34.279 --> 00:15:38.219 Well, if he believes her, and he very well may have. 00:15:38.240 --> 00:15:39.279 I'm not going to judge him. 00:15:40.299 --> 00:15:43.259 He very well may have believed everything that came out of her mouth. 00:15:43.259 --> 00:15:48.100 And if he did, he's minimally bewildered. 00:15:48.899 --> 00:15:50.919 What in the world do you make of this? 00:15:51.960 --> 00:15:58.240 And even if he believes her, and if he's just bewildered, and if he believes it's true what she says, 00:15:59.240 --> 00:16:00.799 he still wants out. 00:16:02.019 --> 00:16:05.480 Because we read further that, as you're going to see in just a minute, 00:16:06.319 --> 00:16:09.899 he has in mind to quietly divorce her. 00:16:10.700 --> 00:16:11.639 So he wants out. 00:16:11.639 --> 00:16:14.419 He just knows, this is just not for me. 00:16:14.539 --> 00:16:15.819 It's just not what I want. 00:16:15.939 --> 00:16:17.319 It's not the pathway I want to follow. 00:16:17.600 --> 00:16:20.500 Probably people are telling him that's what he ought to do. 00:16:21.139 --> 00:16:23.000 But if he doesn't believe her, 00:16:23.740 --> 00:16:26.399 if he thinks to himself, I'm not going to belittle you, 00:16:26.460 --> 00:16:27.840 I'm not going to say anything negative to you, 00:16:27.980 --> 00:16:29.580 but I'm just trying to get my head around this, 00:16:29.879 --> 00:16:32.699 and maybe what you say just doesn't make sense. 00:16:32.860 --> 00:16:35.679 Have you ever had anybody come to you and try to convince you of something 00:16:35.679 --> 00:16:38.399 that you just thought to yourself, that just can't be? 00:16:38.919 --> 00:16:40.139 Anybody here ever had that happen? 00:16:40.679 --> 00:16:41.399 I have. 00:16:42.500 --> 00:16:44.980 I've had folk look me dead in the face and tell me something, 00:16:45.100 --> 00:16:46.860 and they just believe with all their heart, 00:16:46.919 --> 00:16:50.179 or they believe it as though they believe with all their heart. 00:16:50.419 --> 00:16:52.480 And I'm sitting there, you know, trying to smile, 00:16:52.580 --> 00:16:54.240 but thinking to myself, that cannot be. 00:16:55.299 --> 00:16:56.899 That just can. 00:16:57.159 --> 00:16:58.360 That just defies everything. 00:16:58.419 --> 00:16:59.279 I understand. 00:16:59.840 --> 00:17:00.639 That cannot be. 00:17:00.639 --> 00:17:03.319 So if that's the case and he doesn't believe her, 00:17:03.500 --> 00:17:05.700 I'll tell you, he's dealing with some other emotions too, 00:17:05.759 --> 00:17:07.339 not just bewilderment and puzzlement. 00:17:08.139 --> 00:17:09.539 He's dealing with some anger. 00:17:10.720 --> 00:17:12.680 He's dealing with some embarrassment, isn't he? 00:17:12.680 --> 00:17:17.660 Because he knows as well as you and I know what everybody else in Nazareth thinking. 00:17:17.900 --> 00:17:20.259 He knows what Mary's parents are thinking. 00:17:20.759 --> 00:17:22.560 He knows what his parents are thinking. 00:17:23.120 --> 00:17:25.900 He knows what his buddies are thinking. 00:17:25.900 --> 00:17:29.220 He knows what those guys who know him, 00:17:29.280 --> 00:17:30.500 who don't particularly like him, 00:17:30.759 --> 00:17:33.160 have not only thought, but they've maybe said to him. 00:17:33.160 --> 00:17:39.920 He knows the shame he feels because of those things that people are saying, right? 00:17:40.920 --> 00:17:43.180 So how does he initially react? 00:17:43.519 --> 00:17:45.000 Well, that's the fourth thing I want you to see. 00:17:45.440 --> 00:17:49.640 Joseph demonstrates incredible self-control. 00:17:50.740 --> 00:17:52.580 You see, it's one thing to feel something. 00:17:52.720 --> 00:17:54.880 I want every man in this room to get this, and women. 00:17:55.980 --> 00:17:57.200 It's one thing to feel something. 00:17:57.320 --> 00:17:59.360 It's something else to act on how you feel. 00:18:00.400 --> 00:18:02.160 So he's got all these feelings. 00:18:03.160 --> 00:18:04.259 But how does he respond? 00:18:04.380 --> 00:18:06.140 This remarkable thing about Joseph. 00:18:07.160 --> 00:18:12.380 There are no accusations, no knee-jerk reactions, 00:18:12.700 --> 00:18:17.940 no assumptions, no name-calling, no vengeance. 00:18:19.800 --> 00:18:23.580 In fact, the Bible tells us because he's a righteous man, 00:18:23.680 --> 00:18:26.480 he has it in his mind, whether he believes or not, 00:18:26.920 --> 00:18:29.680 to put her away quietly, to quietly divorce her. 00:18:29.740 --> 00:18:32.400 He's going to go down and he's going to fill out the legal papers 00:18:32.400 --> 00:18:34.240 so that they can go their separate ways. 00:18:34.380 --> 00:18:37.040 But he's not going to do probably what most young men would have done, 00:18:37.320 --> 00:18:39.960 taking her to court and said she needs to be stoned to death. 00:18:40.780 --> 00:18:41.820 He doesn't want that. 00:18:42.500 --> 00:18:46.400 There's not a spiteful, vengeful thing he does. 00:18:47.280 --> 00:18:48.040 But I'm going to tell you something. 00:18:48.120 --> 00:18:49.780 You've got to like this guy Joseph, don't you? 00:18:49.779 --> 00:18:53.680 I mean, I can't imagine what he's feeling, 00:18:54.500 --> 00:18:59.519 and yet no knee-jerk reaction, no accusations, no name-calling, no vengeance. 00:19:00.460 --> 00:19:01.660 Here's what he does. 00:19:01.759 --> 00:19:04.920 He decides to quietly divorce her because he knows, 00:19:05.759 --> 00:19:09.859 whosever baby this is, it isn't my baby. 00:19:10.980 --> 00:19:12.839 I want you to see a final fifth thing about Joseph. 00:19:12.839 --> 00:19:19.619 Joseph, after he has this dream, everything immediately changes. 00:19:20.939 --> 00:19:22.459 He has this conversation. 00:19:23.240 --> 00:19:24.619 He feels what he feels. 00:19:24.720 --> 00:19:25.899 He doesn't overreact. 00:19:26.459 --> 00:19:28.019 He doesn't act in a knee-jerk fashion. 00:19:29.079 --> 00:19:31.859 He sits down and he contemplates, and he comes to this conclusion. 00:19:31.980 --> 00:19:32.379 You know what? 00:19:32.439 --> 00:19:33.179 She's a good girl. 00:19:33.480 --> 00:19:34.519 I don't know what happened here. 00:19:35.639 --> 00:19:37.559 I've just got to separate myself from him. 00:19:37.799 --> 00:19:40.139 Don't you imagine his folks were telling him to do that as well? 00:19:40.140 --> 00:19:43.700 Joseph, even if you believe this cockamamie story, 00:19:44.420 --> 00:19:46.520 you just don't need to be a part of this. 00:19:47.620 --> 00:19:52.200 Don't hurt her, but just put distance between you and her. 00:19:53.160 --> 00:19:55.780 And that night, an angel of God appears to him in a dream, 00:19:55.940 --> 00:19:56.880 and this is what he says. 00:19:57.640 --> 00:20:00.380 Joseph, everything that Mary told you is true. 00:20:01.140 --> 00:20:04.080 This baby is of the Holy Spirit of God. 00:20:04.740 --> 00:20:06.060 You need to go marry her. 00:20:06.140 --> 00:20:06.640 And you know what? 00:20:06.640 --> 00:20:09.700 The next morning, without wavering, the next morning, 00:20:10.140 --> 00:20:13.800 he gets up and he says, deal still on. 00:20:14.680 --> 00:20:17.300 And he takes her as his wife. 00:20:18.780 --> 00:20:19.340 Wow. 00:20:19.900 --> 00:20:20.920 He's all in. 00:20:21.880 --> 00:20:25.640 Now, what insights can we draw from this story that will help those of us here 00:20:25.640 --> 00:20:29.960 who are dads or want to be dads one day to be better dads and better husbands? 00:20:30.520 --> 00:20:34.340 And what insight is there for young women looking for a husband? 00:20:34.820 --> 00:20:37.500 What kind of things do you need to look for in choosing somebody? 00:20:37.500 --> 00:20:41.380 And if you're a parent and you're trying to influence your daughter or your granddaughter 00:20:41.380 --> 00:20:45.619 in a positive way, what kind of things should be important? 00:20:45.799 --> 00:20:46.720 Because I want to tell you something. 00:20:46.940 --> 00:20:52.000 A whole lot of times, the qualities that people think are important in looking for a spouse 00:20:52.000 --> 00:20:54.500 are not really the important qualities at all. 00:20:54.500 --> 00:21:00.259 So many folk I know who are out there looking for a spouse, even for their daughter, for their granddaughter, 00:21:00.759 --> 00:21:06.920 or a young lady looking for a husband, they think, boy, I need somebody who's really got a great education. 00:21:07.759 --> 00:21:10.660 I need somebody who's really a good breadwinner. 00:21:10.660 --> 00:21:15.560 I need somebody who is really popular or really good looking. 00:21:16.420 --> 00:21:19.980 Or I need somebody who is this or that or the other. 00:21:20.000 --> 00:21:23.800 And a lot of times, we overlook the things that those of us who've been married a long time, 00:21:23.880 --> 00:21:27.320 we've come to recognize, boy, that's what's really, really important. 00:21:28.700 --> 00:21:30.779 Let me tell you what those things are. 00:21:30.880 --> 00:21:34.360 First of all, he was an humble man. 00:21:35.500 --> 00:21:36.620 You say, how do you know that? 00:21:36.680 --> 00:21:37.660 Never says he's humble. 00:21:37.759 --> 00:21:38.840 Never uses that word of him. 00:21:39.259 --> 00:21:40.000 I'll tell you something. 00:21:40.000 --> 00:21:41.640 Here's how I know he's a humble man. 00:21:42.019 --> 00:21:45.720 A proud man doesn't marry Mary. 00:21:46.799 --> 00:21:47.819 You got that? 00:21:49.279 --> 00:21:51.500 You've seen proud men, peacocks, right? 00:21:52.279 --> 00:21:56.980 They're not marrying a Mary because they think you're damaged goods. 00:21:58.099 --> 00:21:59.299 Boy, you've got a reputation. 00:22:00.539 --> 00:22:01.240 You're not hanging that. 00:22:01.299 --> 00:22:05.259 I'm not going through this public disgrace and shame on your account because you know what? 00:22:05.259 --> 00:22:09.440 A proud person is concerned about how people look at them. 00:22:10.000 --> 00:22:16.619 An humble man is concerned about who he is and about how God sees him. 00:22:17.819 --> 00:22:18.720 Did you hear that? 00:22:19.819 --> 00:22:26.700 An humble man is not so concerned about what you think or what somebody else thinks or what their neighbors think or their cronies think or their buddies think. 00:22:27.099 --> 00:22:31.559 An humble man is concerned about this, who he really is because he knows who he really is. 00:22:31.559 --> 00:22:35.059 He's concerned about who am I really. 00:22:35.980 --> 00:22:37.519 When I look in the mirror, what do I say? 00:22:38.319 --> 00:22:40.359 Am I who I say I am? 00:22:40.359 --> 00:22:42.939 And what does God think of me? 00:22:44.099 --> 00:22:45.439 He was an humble man. 00:22:45.919 --> 00:22:46.839 An humble man. 00:22:48.179 --> 00:22:52.759 Secondly, he wasn't a hothead who rushed to judgment. 00:22:53.779 --> 00:22:56.699 I'll tell you, that's one of the most impressive things I see in Joseph. 00:22:57.359 --> 00:23:00.839 Being a pastor and doing pastoral counseling for many, many, many years. 00:23:00.839 --> 00:23:10.740 It's amazing how many of us, when we get bad news, when somebody hurts us, when somebody injures us, when we feel slighted. 00:23:11.159 --> 00:23:17.500 Isn't it amazing how oftentimes, well, we want to strike out and we want to hurt folks. 00:23:17.720 --> 00:23:19.519 We do it with our mouth. 00:23:19.519 --> 00:23:23.779 Sometimes there's physical abuse that's involved. 00:23:24.660 --> 00:23:30.680 But a whole lot of times, as we get older, we stop using our fist to wage war against our neighbor. 00:23:31.379 --> 00:23:32.799 And we begin to use our tongue. 00:23:32.900 --> 00:23:33.519 And I want to tell you something. 00:23:34.099 --> 00:23:40.700 Boy, when you use your tongue as a weapon of destruction, it leaves lasting hurts that never heal, doesn't it? 00:23:41.759 --> 00:23:42.559 I'm going to tell you something. 00:23:42.599 --> 00:23:47.660 You can do far more damage with what you say to somebody than what you actually do to somebody. 00:23:47.660 --> 00:23:50.519 Black eyes heal, bloody noses, they dry up. 00:23:51.540 --> 00:23:52.860 But I'm going to tell you something. 00:23:53.500 --> 00:23:56.880 You can injure somebody for life with the words that you say. 00:23:56.980 --> 00:24:05.240 Some of you right now are carrying scars from your childhood because somebody unwittingly, maybe even a mom or a dad, 00:24:05.540 --> 00:24:07.620 said something that you've never got over. 00:24:07.700 --> 00:24:10.000 You've carried that with you all of your life. 00:24:10.980 --> 00:24:12.980 This was a man who wasn't hot-headed. 00:24:12.980 --> 00:24:22.839 He was a man who was slow to reach an opinion, a man who kept his emotions under control. 00:24:23.519 --> 00:24:29.500 I meet a lot of girls through the years who've told me when they came in for premarital counseling, 00:24:30.460 --> 00:24:32.259 I ask them, what you're looking for in a husband? 00:24:33.079 --> 00:24:37.360 And you quickly get the idea what they're looking for is that guy who's a playboy type. 00:24:37.359 --> 00:24:40.000 He's just a good-looking guy. 00:24:40.759 --> 00:24:42.279 He's adventuresome. 00:24:42.759 --> 00:24:43.919 He's exciting. 00:24:44.899 --> 00:24:48.719 You know, when I was coming along, the word for that was he's a bad boy, right? 00:24:49.519 --> 00:24:51.719 A lot of girls out here are looking for a bad boy. 00:24:51.799 --> 00:24:52.519 But I want to tell you something. 00:24:53.500 --> 00:24:57.099 A lot of parents I know caution girls, don't marry that bad boy. 00:24:57.500 --> 00:24:58.199 He'll abuse you. 00:24:58.899 --> 00:25:01.500 And I can't tell you how many times I've heard girls say this. 00:25:01.500 --> 00:25:05.680 No, you see, he treats other people that way, but he won't treat me that way. 00:25:06.759 --> 00:25:07.859 I'm going to change him. 00:25:08.819 --> 00:25:09.920 I'm going to change him, right? 00:25:11.160 --> 00:25:13.380 Girls, men marry reality. 00:25:13.519 --> 00:25:17.240 They take a look at their mama and say that's what she's going to be 20 years down the road. 00:25:18.220 --> 00:25:21.160 But girls, they marry potential. 00:25:22.200 --> 00:25:26.420 They think to themselves, if I'm his wife, I can turn him into this. 00:25:26.480 --> 00:25:27.000 I'm going to tell you something. 00:25:27.059 --> 00:25:28.019 He is what he is. 00:25:28.740 --> 00:25:29.319 Do you know that? 00:25:29.319 --> 00:25:37.740 And if he treats other folk badly now, if he's mean to his mother and his daddy and his brothers and his sisters and his friends, 00:25:37.980 --> 00:25:43.759 and he barks at them and yells at them, and he's got a hot head, and he just flies off the handle of other people, 00:25:44.079 --> 00:25:45.039 you mark this down. 00:25:45.139 --> 00:25:46.500 You remember this old preacher who told you this. 00:25:46.679 --> 00:25:49.839 The time's going to come, you're going to be in his line of fire. 00:25:50.779 --> 00:25:54.139 And the same thing he does to those other folk, he's going to do to you. 00:25:54.140 --> 00:26:00.200 Joseph was a man with a cool temper who kept his emotions under control. 00:26:00.360 --> 00:26:02.620 Here's the third thing I see about Joseph. 00:26:02.820 --> 00:26:04.680 He was a man of compassion. 00:26:05.660 --> 00:26:07.240 A man of compassion. 00:26:08.120 --> 00:26:13.060 Even in his disappointment, he had compassion for Mary, and he didn't want to embarrass her. 00:26:13.120 --> 00:26:14.860 He wanted to put her away quietly. 00:26:14.859 --> 00:26:16.479 Finally, find somebody. 00:26:17.159 --> 00:26:22.019 I know in life, because we watch so much television, we get this idea. 00:26:22.279 --> 00:26:26.379 What I need is somebody who is really adventuresome, who can make my life exciting. 00:26:26.679 --> 00:26:28.219 You know what you really want at the end of the day? 00:26:28.479 --> 00:26:31.619 You want somebody who will be good to you and be compassionate and treat you kindly. 00:26:33.099 --> 00:26:37.919 I'll promise you, marry somebody who is kind over somebody who is adventuresome. 00:26:38.099 --> 00:26:42.500 Doesn't mean you can't be both, but find somebody who is kind and somebody who is compassionate. 00:26:42.500 --> 00:26:44.259 Fourth thing I want you to see is this. 00:26:44.339 --> 00:26:50.640 Joseph was a man who did his best to make his family feel safe and secure. 00:26:51.480 --> 00:26:53.839 And let me tell you how I arrived at that conclusion. 00:26:54.920 --> 00:27:01.519 When he gets to Bethlehem, the Bible tells us the city is crowded because people are coming there to pay their taxes. 00:27:02.220 --> 00:27:04.539 And there's no room for them in the end. 00:27:05.140 --> 00:27:08.319 And so they end up giving birth in a stable. 00:27:08.319 --> 00:27:17.279 Well, it goes without saying the only reason they knew there was no room in the end, somebody had to go and ask, do you have a room? 00:27:18.220 --> 00:27:19.779 And my guess is that was Joseph. 00:27:20.599 --> 00:27:27.980 I can see Joseph knocking at that innkeeper's door and saying, sir, my wife is out here on this donkey and she's about to give birth. 00:27:28.099 --> 00:27:29.379 And could you help us out? 00:27:29.419 --> 00:27:30.399 We need a room badly. 00:27:31.480 --> 00:27:32.480 I'm sorry, son. 00:27:32.619 --> 00:27:34.019 Every room is taken. 00:27:34.019 --> 00:27:37.720 Man, I've got to find a place. 00:27:38.839 --> 00:27:41.200 The innkeeper says, well, I've got this livery stable out here. 00:27:41.279 --> 00:27:45.539 It's not the best place in the world to give birth, but it's better than being out in the open. 00:27:46.859 --> 00:27:48.420 And Joseph says, I'll take it. 00:27:49.240 --> 00:27:50.859 It's not much, but I'm going to tell you something. 00:27:51.359 --> 00:27:52.000 It's out of the weather. 00:27:52.119 --> 00:27:52.740 It's out of the elements. 00:27:53.420 --> 00:27:56.579 And Joseph is doing what any good husband should do. 00:27:56.660 --> 00:27:57.579 And here's what that is. 00:27:57.639 --> 00:27:58.299 Listen, ladies. 00:27:58.299 --> 00:28:03.460 It's to do the best you can under the circumstances in which you find yourself. 00:28:04.460 --> 00:28:07.639 And I tell you my experience as a pastor and as a man has been this. 00:28:08.240 --> 00:28:09.940 Most women are satisfied with that. 00:28:10.919 --> 00:28:12.740 Most women don't have this mentality. 00:28:12.839 --> 00:28:14.859 I've got to live in the fanciest house in Pickens. 00:28:15.180 --> 00:28:23.759 What they want is to know that somebody cares about them and loves them and is trying to make them secure and being a protector of they and their family. 00:28:24.339 --> 00:28:26.000 And that's what Joseph does. 00:28:26.000 --> 00:28:28.400 And so she gives birth. 00:28:29.039 --> 00:28:30.119 They find a place. 00:28:30.579 --> 00:28:33.819 Several months later, these wise men come to visit. 00:28:34.759 --> 00:28:39.099 And as they're leaving, they're leaving their gifts with Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. 00:28:40.279 --> 00:28:44.240 That night when he goes to bed, an angel of the Lord speaks to Joseph and he says, 00:28:44.319 --> 00:28:46.380 Joseph, it's not safe here any longer. 00:28:47.220 --> 00:28:48.599 Herod is finding out. 00:28:48.660 --> 00:28:50.380 He's searching right now to find this baby. 00:28:51.200 --> 00:28:53.000 And when he finds it, he's going to put it to death. 00:28:53.000 --> 00:28:55.880 You need to flee and go to Egypt. 00:28:56.380 --> 00:28:57.359 Now, think about it. 00:28:57.359 --> 00:28:58.539 Those of you who are in business. 00:28:59.759 --> 00:29:02.779 You want to go start another business in a place where nobody knows you? 00:29:03.900 --> 00:29:05.779 You want to go back to Nazareth, don't you? 00:29:06.019 --> 00:29:07.500 I mean, that's where his business is. 00:29:08.519 --> 00:29:15.140 But he has listened to this angel of the Lord and he knows if I go back to Nazareth, Jesus is in jeopardy. 00:29:15.220 --> 00:29:16.200 Mary's in jeopardy. 00:29:16.660 --> 00:29:17.660 And so you know what he does? 00:29:17.660 --> 00:29:21.960 Instead of heading back north to Galilee, he heads south. 00:29:22.040 --> 00:29:22.560 And listen to this. 00:29:22.620 --> 00:29:24.140 I don't know if you've ever thought about this or not. 00:29:24.779 --> 00:29:26.860 He goes to another continent. 00:29:28.160 --> 00:29:30.160 He's in what we think of as Israel now. 00:29:30.380 --> 00:29:33.960 But he's going to Africa to the nation of Egypt. 00:29:33.960 --> 00:29:39.740 And there he's going to remain for a number of months until finally the angel of the Lord comes and tells him, 00:29:40.140 --> 00:29:40.660 It's safe. 00:29:41.259 --> 00:29:41.960 Herod's dead. 00:29:42.279 --> 00:29:43.160 You can go back home. 00:29:43.259 --> 00:29:44.000 You know why he does that? 00:29:44.120 --> 00:29:47.200 Because he's trying to be protective for his family. 00:29:48.140 --> 00:29:49.299 I want to tell you something, young ladies. 00:29:49.299 --> 00:29:56.440 If you're looking for a husband, if you, ladies and gentlemen, are trying to advise your children and grandchildren about what to look for in a spouse, 00:29:57.299 --> 00:30:03.500 tell them to find somebody who will be a protector, somebody who will make them feel secure, somebody who will make them feel safe, 00:30:03.619 --> 00:30:06.980 somebody who will always put their interests first in life. 00:30:07.299 --> 00:30:08.639 And that's what Joseph does. 00:30:09.180 --> 00:30:13.879 Joseph cares for Mary and demonstrates that by the way he treated her. 00:30:13.880 --> 00:30:24.160 However, don't ever come to a place where your families question, gentlemen, whether or not you have their best interest at heart. 00:30:25.640 --> 00:30:33.340 When I was much, much younger, I was pastoring in Statesville, North Carolina, and it was the Saturday before Mother's Day on Sunday. 00:30:33.840 --> 00:30:35.420 And I'd waited too long to get a gift. 00:30:35.520 --> 00:30:42.860 I went over to Belk's in Statesville, and I'm looking for a gift, and I find a gift for my wife, and I'm taking it home and getting it wrapped. 00:30:42.859 --> 00:30:49.779 And I look across the way, and about 100, 150 feet away from me in that same store, there's a guy who goes to church with me, and I know. 00:30:50.039 --> 00:30:51.079 And he's a good man. 00:30:51.179 --> 00:30:52.859 I don't mean to disparage his character. 00:30:53.119 --> 00:30:54.579 He's a good guy, good guy. 00:30:54.839 --> 00:30:57.979 Got two little boys, one about five and one about seven, and they're with him. 00:30:58.279 --> 00:31:00.339 They're helping him shop for a gift for his wife. 00:31:01.039 --> 00:31:02.319 I look up, and I see him over there. 00:31:02.419 --> 00:31:05.399 And so after I get my gift wrapped, I'm thinking, I'm going to go over there. 00:31:05.439 --> 00:31:06.259 They haven't seen me. 00:31:06.479 --> 00:31:10.459 I'm going to go over there, and I'm going to speak to them and just say hello, find out how they're doing. 00:31:10.460 --> 00:31:16.700 So I start walking over there, and about halfway over there, I notice the boys are just being boys. 00:31:16.819 --> 00:31:19.759 They're just running around and acting silly like little boys do. 00:31:20.200 --> 00:31:23.600 And this guy is trying to look at something on the counter there, the lady showing him. 00:31:23.960 --> 00:31:27.019 And at some point, he just gets mad, and he loses it. 00:31:27.279 --> 00:31:29.240 And this is exactly how it went down. 00:31:29.860 --> 00:31:32.539 He turns to those little boys, and he goes, stop it. 00:31:33.160 --> 00:31:34.519 I said, stop it right now. 00:31:34.579 --> 00:31:35.059 Stop it. 00:31:35.059 --> 00:31:41.119 And those two little boys, when he turns to his right, and there they are. 00:31:41.419 --> 00:31:42.220 You know what they both do? 00:31:43.059 --> 00:31:45.179 Both those little boys, I've never forgotten this. 00:31:45.299 --> 00:31:46.839 It's been probably 30 years ago. 00:31:48.000 --> 00:31:50.779 When he turns to both those boys, they react this way. 00:31:50.839 --> 00:31:51.159 They go. 00:31:52.919 --> 00:31:54.980 They throw their hands up in front of their face. 00:31:55.099 --> 00:31:56.679 They put their head down, and they just throw their hands. 00:31:57.039 --> 00:31:58.099 You know what that said to me? 00:31:59.059 --> 00:32:03.500 It said, those boys are scared of their daddy. 00:32:03.500 --> 00:32:07.099 They're afraid of their daddy. 00:32:08.539 --> 00:32:12.240 Now, I know all parents get on kids, and sometimes we overreact. 00:32:12.920 --> 00:32:13.880 But I'm going to tell you something. 00:32:15.000 --> 00:32:20.880 You want your children to grow up loving you and honoring you and respecting you and obeying you, 00:32:20.900 --> 00:32:23.039 and you have to discipline them at times. 00:32:23.880 --> 00:32:28.000 The last thing you ever want is for your wife or your kids to be afraid of you. 00:32:30.000 --> 00:32:32.460 And those two little boys were afraid of their daddy. 00:32:33.500 --> 00:32:36.059 Do you need daddies here this morning? 00:32:36.119 --> 00:32:37.339 You've got kids that are afraid of you? 00:32:38.720 --> 00:32:42.059 It's not that they just respect you, but they're afraid of you. 00:32:43.880 --> 00:32:46.960 Boy, if you're looking for a husband, look for somebody who makes you feel safe. 00:32:47.960 --> 00:32:50.420 Look for somebody who makes you feel secure. 00:32:51.319 --> 00:32:52.740 Here's the last thing, and I close. 00:32:52.859 --> 00:32:57.059 Joseph was a man who was sensitive to what God wanted him to do 00:32:57.059 --> 00:32:59.579 and was committed to obeying him. 00:33:00.159 --> 00:33:03.000 Joseph, as we said several times this morning, hear this. 00:33:03.440 --> 00:33:04.259 He wants out. 00:33:04.399 --> 00:33:05.399 He's going to put her away. 00:33:05.980 --> 00:33:08.440 But the angel of the Lord says it's safe to marry her. 00:33:08.819 --> 00:33:10.599 And when the angel of the Lord says that, guess what? 00:33:10.659 --> 00:33:12.639 The next morning, he acts on that. 00:33:12.819 --> 00:33:15.700 This man who's going from a position of, I want out, 00:33:15.899 --> 00:33:19.019 when he hears God speak through that angel in a dream, 00:33:19.019 --> 00:33:23.220 now he's all in. 00:33:24.339 --> 00:33:25.980 I mean, he's all in. 00:33:26.019 --> 00:33:26.480 You know why? 00:33:27.119 --> 00:33:29.099 Because he's not wanting what he wants. 00:33:29.180 --> 00:33:31.440 He wants what God wants. 00:33:32.839 --> 00:33:34.339 He wants what God wants. 00:33:34.519 --> 00:33:36.299 He's listening for the voice of God, 00:33:36.420 --> 00:33:38.420 even above the voice of his parents, 00:33:38.579 --> 00:33:40.220 even above the voice of his friends, 00:33:40.660 --> 00:33:43.200 even above the voice of conventional wisdom. 00:33:44.039 --> 00:33:46.200 He's listening for the voice of God. 00:33:47.660 --> 00:33:49.200 And that's what you want in a husband. 00:33:50.400 --> 00:33:51.900 I close by telling you this. 00:33:53.720 --> 00:33:56.140 Through the years, typically, 00:33:56.920 --> 00:33:59.920 when a girl in the church I pastored wanted to be married, 00:34:00.799 --> 00:34:01.700 she would come see me, 00:34:01.759 --> 00:34:03.519 especially if the boy wasn't part of our church, 00:34:03.819 --> 00:34:04.920 part of another church somewhere. 00:34:05.480 --> 00:34:08.340 She would typically come see me before she brought her fiance. 00:34:09.220 --> 00:34:11.619 And the conversation would usually go like this. 00:34:11.619 --> 00:34:13.659 Pastor, I found this guy, 00:34:13.940 --> 00:34:14.779 and we're getting married. 00:34:15.039 --> 00:34:16.099 I wonder, would you do the wedding? 00:34:16.460 --> 00:34:17.119 When is the wedding? 00:34:17.559 --> 00:34:19.279 We'd put it, look at the calendar, see if it was open. 00:34:19.900 --> 00:34:21.099 And then I'd say something like this. 00:34:21.519 --> 00:34:22.400 Well, tell me about him. 00:34:22.839 --> 00:34:24.199 And she began to tell me about him. 00:34:24.279 --> 00:34:25.880 And if she didn't answer this question, 00:34:26.339 --> 00:34:28.000 then I'd ask her pointedly, 00:34:28.679 --> 00:34:29.440 is he a believer? 00:34:29.960 --> 00:34:30.659 Is he a Christian? 00:34:31.559 --> 00:34:33.880 And the three answers I always got, 00:34:33.960 --> 00:34:36.019 they fell in one of these three categories almost all the time. 00:34:36.159 --> 00:34:38.679 One was, oh, yes, Pastor, you'll love him. 00:34:39.519 --> 00:34:40.779 He's a man of God. 00:34:40.780 --> 00:34:43.700 He's active in his church at such and such place. 00:34:44.019 --> 00:34:44.920 He loves the Lord. 00:34:45.019 --> 00:34:46.080 We have Bible study together. 00:34:46.160 --> 00:34:47.040 We're praying together. 00:34:47.820 --> 00:34:49.440 That was always the answer you wanted to hear. 00:34:50.580 --> 00:34:52.760 But the answer I got a lot of times was this. 00:34:52.940 --> 00:34:54.740 Well, Pastor, you know, 00:34:55.019 --> 00:34:57.980 it's kind of an unusual thing. 00:34:58.600 --> 00:35:01.980 He was saved when he was seven or eight or nine or ten or twelve, 00:35:02.120 --> 00:35:03.100 and they baptized him. 00:35:03.360 --> 00:35:04.780 And he's a member of such and such church, 00:35:06.200 --> 00:35:07.480 but he didn't go to church anymore. 00:35:07.480 --> 00:35:07.679 He didn't go to church anymore. 00:35:08.099 --> 00:35:09.480 He's real busy, you know, 00:35:09.599 --> 00:35:11.240 and he just didn't go to church anymore. 00:35:12.039 --> 00:35:12.780 Would you all pray together? 00:35:12.980 --> 00:35:14.860 Well, no, no, we don't ever pray together. 00:35:15.920 --> 00:35:16.380 What do you have? 00:35:17.059 --> 00:35:18.139 Study the Scripture together? 00:35:18.420 --> 00:35:18.820 No. 00:35:19.159 --> 00:35:20.219 You talk about things we've got? 00:35:20.340 --> 00:35:20.659 No. 00:35:21.699 --> 00:35:23.860 But he says he's a believer. 00:35:24.260 --> 00:35:25.059 He says he's a believer. 00:35:26.019 --> 00:35:27.960 And then the third response I'd get was this. 00:35:28.320 --> 00:35:30.599 And this is surprising how many times I hear this. 00:35:31.400 --> 00:35:32.679 You know, I'm not sure. 00:35:32.920 --> 00:35:34.739 I was hoping you could talk to him about that. 00:35:36.259 --> 00:35:37.480 You know, I don't really know. 00:35:38.659 --> 00:35:39.900 It's never come up. 00:35:40.619 --> 00:35:40.960 Really? 00:35:42.239 --> 00:35:43.320 It never came up? 00:35:44.659 --> 00:35:45.500 Can I tell you something? 00:35:45.559 --> 00:35:47.739 Those last two answers are unacceptable answers. 00:35:47.739 --> 00:35:50.159 Because in the last instance, 00:35:50.319 --> 00:35:52.359 if it's never come up and you've dated him long enough, 00:35:52.399 --> 00:35:53.479 you want to be engaged to him? 00:35:54.579 --> 00:35:55.879 Well, I can answer that one for you. 00:35:55.899 --> 00:35:56.399 He's not. 00:35:57.639 --> 00:35:58.479 He's just not. 00:35:59.199 --> 00:36:01.699 I don't say that disparagingly to beat up on him or anything 00:36:01.699 --> 00:36:02.619 or to be judgmental. 00:36:02.839 --> 00:36:03.619 I'm just telling you, 00:36:04.159 --> 00:36:06.599 I don't ever go a day in my life 00:36:06.599 --> 00:36:08.799 that sometimes the name Jesus doesn't come up 00:36:08.799 --> 00:36:10.359 in the course of a day. 00:36:10.360 --> 00:36:13.559 I can't imagine that you could date somebody 00:36:13.559 --> 00:36:15.440 for months and months and months and months and months 00:36:15.440 --> 00:36:17.980 and Jesus' name just never enter into the conversation. 00:36:18.380 --> 00:36:21.019 That a Christian value wouldn't enter into the conversation 00:36:21.019 --> 00:36:21.640 at some point. 00:36:22.500 --> 00:36:23.500 So I can answer that one for you. 00:36:23.579 --> 00:36:24.440 He's not a believer. 00:36:25.360 --> 00:36:26.579 Or you'd know it by now. 00:36:27.840 --> 00:36:29.180 But the other thing is this. 00:36:29.940 --> 00:36:31.640 It appalls me how many girls, 00:36:32.320 --> 00:36:34.059 so long as they can just, in their mind, 00:36:34.300 --> 00:36:36.079 because they've heard their parents say this 00:36:36.079 --> 00:36:37.019 and their grandparents say this, 00:36:37.360 --> 00:36:38.160 marry a Christian, 00:36:38.159 --> 00:36:40.719 so long as they can check that little Christian box, 00:36:40.980 --> 00:36:41.679 you're good to go. 00:36:42.420 --> 00:36:43.799 And I'm telling you something, ladies and gentlemen, 00:36:44.179 --> 00:36:44.980 you're not. 00:36:45.960 --> 00:36:47.219 You're not good to go. 00:36:48.099 --> 00:36:49.839 Don't settle for somebody who just, 00:36:50.199 --> 00:36:51.379 they check the box. 00:36:52.819 --> 00:36:56.159 Find you a man or a woman in marriage 00:36:56.159 --> 00:36:57.559 who not only is a believer, 00:36:58.399 --> 00:37:00.639 but they have a deep-seated desire 00:37:00.639 --> 00:37:02.059 to listen for the voice of God 00:37:02.059 --> 00:37:04.279 and whatever it is God wants them to do with their life, 00:37:04.559 --> 00:37:05.519 that's what they're going to do. 00:37:05.619 --> 00:37:08.059 Does it mean they follow that perfectly all the time? 00:37:08.059 --> 00:37:09.279 Make all right to know. 00:37:09.440 --> 00:37:10.980 They're sinners like everybody else. 00:37:11.880 --> 00:37:13.460 But they have a hunger to know 00:37:13.460 --> 00:37:14.920 what God wants them to do. 00:37:15.119 --> 00:37:16.940 And when they know what God does, 00:37:17.739 --> 00:37:19.299 they walk in that direction. 00:37:19.500 --> 00:37:20.579 That's what I like about Joseph. 00:37:21.199 --> 00:37:21.900 Joseph said, 00:37:22.380 --> 00:37:23.699 uh-uh, I'm out of here. 00:37:24.559 --> 00:37:25.920 Until God speaks and says, 00:37:26.000 --> 00:37:27.000 Joseph, marry her. 00:37:27.299 --> 00:37:28.440 And immediately Joseph says, 00:37:29.199 --> 00:37:29.820 okay, God, 00:37:30.000 --> 00:37:30.980 I know a folk are going to laugh, 00:37:31.039 --> 00:37:32.279 but I'm all in. 00:37:32.280 --> 00:37:35.280 Whose voice are you listening to this morning? 00:37:36.880 --> 00:37:38.400 Whose voice are you sensitive to? 00:37:38.480 --> 00:37:39.100 Because I want to tell you, 00:37:39.420 --> 00:37:40.620 a lot of people I meet, 00:37:41.140 --> 00:37:43.180 they care more about what the world says 00:37:43.180 --> 00:37:44.820 and what seems right in their eyes 00:37:44.820 --> 00:37:47.519 than what God's saying to them. 00:37:48.380 --> 00:37:49.660 Is there a decision this morning 00:37:49.660 --> 00:37:50.480 you're struggling with 00:37:50.480 --> 00:37:50.740 where you, 00:37:51.120 --> 00:37:51.980 here's what God's saying 00:37:51.980 --> 00:37:53.260 and here's what the world's telling you, 00:37:53.300 --> 00:37:54.940 here's what your mind tells you, 00:37:55.100 --> 00:37:56.900 here's what conventional wisdom says? 00:37:56.900 --> 00:37:59.260 Choose the voice of God. 00:38:00.599 --> 00:38:01.700 Let's bow together in prayer. 00:38:01.780 --> 00:38:02.019 Father, 00:38:03.099 --> 00:38:04.000 I pray this morning 00:38:04.000 --> 00:38:05.599 that you would lead us and guide us 00:38:05.599 --> 00:38:08.139 as we come this time of decision. 00:38:09.079 --> 00:38:10.559 Lord, I never want to just speak 00:38:10.559 --> 00:38:11.900 so that people hear a message 00:38:11.900 --> 00:38:12.820 and they go away saying, 00:38:12.900 --> 00:38:14.320 oh, that was interesting or amusing. 00:38:15.139 --> 00:38:16.380 I want it to make a difference 00:38:16.380 --> 00:38:17.440 in people's lives. 00:38:17.599 --> 00:38:18.619 And so, Lord, 00:38:18.700 --> 00:38:20.860 if there's some point, 00:38:21.000 --> 00:38:22.039 and I don't know where that would be, 00:38:22.079 --> 00:38:23.960 at some point in the message this morning, 00:38:24.000 --> 00:38:25.660 if you spoke someone's heart about something, 00:38:25.659 --> 00:38:27.119 I pray right now 00:38:27.119 --> 00:38:28.500 they'd do business with you. 00:38:29.339 --> 00:38:29.779 Lord, 00:38:29.859 --> 00:38:31.099 that they would seek to know 00:38:31.099 --> 00:38:32.759 what you want in their lives, 00:38:32.920 --> 00:38:33.859 whatever it may be. 00:38:34.920 --> 00:38:35.480 Thank you, 00:38:35.500 --> 00:38:36.339 this wonderful man, 00:38:36.440 --> 00:38:36.739 Joseph. 00:38:37.440 --> 00:38:38.239 Thank you, Lord, 00:38:38.299 --> 00:38:39.239 that he was a stepfather 00:38:39.239 --> 00:38:40.000 to our Savior. 00:38:41.319 --> 00:38:41.559 Lord, 00:38:41.599 --> 00:38:42.420 I pray today 00:38:42.420 --> 00:38:44.359 that you would help us 00:38:44.359 --> 00:38:46.000 as men in this congregation 00:38:46.000 --> 00:38:47.779 to want to emulate 00:38:47.779 --> 00:38:49.559 the qualities we see in him. 00:38:50.460 --> 00:38:51.599 Have your will and way 00:38:51.599 --> 00:38:52.819 in our lives right now. 00:38:53.119 --> 00:38:54.719 It's our prayer in Jesus' name. 00:38:54.719 --> 00:38:55.879 Amen. 00:38:55.879 --> 00:38:55.959 Amen.