WEBVTT

00:00:00.400 --> 00:00:08.880
 Good morning, everybody. Good morning. My name is Chris, and I'm a teaching pastor here at

00:00:08.880 --> 00:00:12.300
 Watermark. If this is your first time here, if it's your hundredth time here, we're just really

00:00:12.300 --> 00:00:17.640
 excited for you to be here. I know some of you I can see coming back from vacation. Some people

00:00:17.640 --> 00:00:24.179
 are still on vacation, but it's just really exciting to be here. It's sunny. We've got a

00:00:24.179 --> 00:00:32.659
 community lunch afterwards, and it's just great to be in God's presence together. I don't know about

00:00:32.659 --> 00:00:45.560
 you, but every single one of us walked in here this morning carrying a weapon. It's a weapon of such

00:00:45.560 --> 00:00:52.340
 power that it can have explosive impact more than a nuclear bomb in the hands of King Jong-un.

00:00:52.340 --> 00:01:02.760
 tongue. It's a weapon which changes things. I'm talking about the tongue, if you weren't aware.

00:01:03.720 --> 00:01:12.840
 You see, people estimate that you and I will speak between 120 and 850 million words in our lives.

00:01:12.840 --> 00:01:21.859
 That's enough to fill the pages of between 150 and 1,085 Bibles just with your words.

00:01:22.340 --> 00:01:30.579
 And if you included texts, you included Facebook messages, emails, you and I speak a lot, right?

00:01:31.960 --> 00:01:38.640
 And our culture knows that words have power. You know, the CEO, the former CEO of Google,

00:01:38.740 --> 00:01:46.379
 Eric Schmidt said about Steve Jobs, he said, he could persuade me of things I didn't even believe in.

00:01:46.379 --> 00:01:53.619
 That's what he said, because we know words have power. And if you think about it, every single

00:01:53.619 --> 00:01:59.140
 major movement that has ever happened in the whole of history has always been launched with words.

00:01:59.459 --> 00:02:04.219
 Whether it's the Nazis in Germany, whether it's the civil rights movement in the States, whether it's

00:02:04.219 --> 00:02:11.519
 the Communist Party in China, every movement, words have launched it because words shape the world.

00:02:11.520 --> 00:02:16.460
 And we're looking at the book of Proverbs. We've been going through it over the summer.

00:02:17.540 --> 00:02:21.660
 And this is just a very challenging what Proverbs tells us about the tongue.

00:02:23.280 --> 00:02:26.260
 Proverbs 18, 21 says this,

00:02:27.360 --> 00:02:37.580
 Death and life are in the power of the tongue. Did you get that? Death and life are in the power of the tongue.

00:02:37.580 --> 00:02:43.500
 And you may think that's a little bit exaggerated, but I don't know if you've watched the news and seen

00:02:43.500 --> 00:02:48.320
 the number of kids who've committed suicide because of the words of others. You know, just two weeks ago

00:02:48.320 --> 00:02:55.820
 in the States, there was that girl, 18-year-old, got sentenced for encouraging a kid to commit suicide,

00:02:55.900 --> 00:03:01.900
 her boyfriend, because words truly do have the power of life and death.

00:03:01.900 --> 00:03:08.659
 And you know, we say things like, sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me,

00:03:09.219 --> 00:03:12.780
 which is a complete lie, right? We know that's a lie.

00:03:13.360 --> 00:03:19.860
 Like, we have words right from very young which still shape our lives even to this day,

00:03:20.240 --> 00:03:24.200
 words that have been spoken to us. You know, when I was young, I was a fairly confident,

00:03:24.360 --> 00:03:30.740
 non-self-conscious kid. And then one day in one of the class, one kid in my class said something like this.

00:03:30.740 --> 00:03:35.219
 He said, do you get good TV reception with ears that big?

00:03:36.920 --> 00:03:41.800
 And do you know what I did? The first thing I did was I went into the mirror and looked.

00:03:41.920 --> 00:03:48.140
 It was kind of like, they're not that big. But the words had begun to eat themselves down into my heart.

00:03:48.480 --> 00:03:54.040
 And so even today, and I only realized this as I was preparing this, when I go to get a short haircut,

00:03:54.039 --> 00:04:02.340
 those words are still in the back of my mind, even to this day, because words have power.

00:04:04.639 --> 00:04:11.280
 And I suspect most of us in this room have words from our past which equally shape us.

00:04:12.919 --> 00:04:18.500
 You know, much of our workaholism, much of our dieting, much of the amount of time we spend in the bathroom

00:04:18.500 --> 00:04:22.180
 is all shaped by words people have said to us.

00:04:22.899 --> 00:04:25.120
 And we often don't even realize it.

00:04:26.579 --> 00:04:28.980
 And you know, sometimes it's not just the words that are said,

00:04:29.160 --> 00:04:33.160
 it's also the absence of words that can affect us.

00:04:33.220 --> 00:04:38.600
 Because you know, some of you, you desperately wanted your father and mother to comfort you when you were young,

00:04:38.600 --> 00:04:40.100
 but they stayed silent.

00:04:42.040 --> 00:04:45.079
 Words have power in our lives.

00:04:45.079 --> 00:04:52.219
 And the Bible story that we keep talking about is a story about words.

00:04:53.099 --> 00:04:55.579
 You know, when God creates the world, what does he do?

00:04:56.680 --> 00:04:57.879
 He speaks.

00:04:58.419 --> 00:05:00.379
 He says, light, and there's light.

00:05:00.740 --> 00:05:04.659
 He says, there's trees, and there's trees.

00:05:04.759 --> 00:05:06.360
 He says, chickens, and there's chickens.

00:05:08.439 --> 00:05:11.779
 Because when God speaks, his words create reality.

00:05:11.779 --> 00:05:21.979
 And words fuel change because we are image bearers of a God whose words create reality and change life.

00:05:23.459 --> 00:05:28.139
 You know, I don't know if you've noticed when a one-year-old, or kind of around that age,

00:05:28.359 --> 00:05:31.539
 suddenly starts kind of gurgling some sounds out, you know,

00:05:31.559 --> 00:05:33.059
 you know, you know.

00:05:33.060 --> 00:05:38.800
 And the parents, really interesting, parents all suddenly very excited, crowd round,

00:05:39.240 --> 00:05:41.259
 thinking, is that his first words?

00:05:41.379 --> 00:05:42.319
 What did he say?

00:05:42.660 --> 00:05:44.959
 I think it was garam masala.

00:05:45.480 --> 00:05:47.500
 Or like someone else would be like, geometry.

00:05:48.120 --> 00:05:53.100
 I don't know what it was, but we get so excited that someone's going to be saying their first words.

00:05:53.300 --> 00:05:53.740
 Why?

00:05:53.740 --> 00:06:02.040
 Because words are what helps us enter into relationship with people.

00:06:02.160 --> 00:06:05.000
 We're longing for a deepened relationship with our child.

00:06:05.420 --> 00:06:08.360
 And now we're thinking, now we can communicate.

00:06:09.100 --> 00:06:12.280
 Because words are about relationships.

00:06:13.699 --> 00:06:17.699
 And when God speaks to us, it's grace that he speaks.

00:06:17.699 --> 00:06:20.279
 He could stay silent, but he doesn't.

00:06:21.639 --> 00:06:27.939
 Because he longs for life-giving, refreshing relationship with us.

00:06:28.800 --> 00:06:30.779
 That's what his words are about.

00:06:31.939 --> 00:06:34.300
 If you go through the Bible story, you see it.

00:06:34.680 --> 00:06:37.079
 To Abraham, God speaks promises of blessing.

00:06:37.219 --> 00:06:39.300
 To Moses, he speaks words of instruction.

00:06:39.680 --> 00:06:41.620
 To David, he speaks promises of hope.

00:06:41.860 --> 00:06:43.879
 To Israel, he warns them of danger.

00:06:44.099 --> 00:06:46.839
 To the demons, he speaks and they go.

00:06:46.839 --> 00:06:49.279
 To sickness, Jesus speaks and they're healed.

00:06:49.739 --> 00:06:54.179
 To the shamed, he speaks and they're forgiven and they're cleansed.

00:06:54.819 --> 00:07:00.919
 And when people were leaving Jesus because his words were getting too intense for them,

00:07:01.620 --> 00:07:05.139
 he turns to his disciples and he says, hey, do you guys want to go as well?

00:07:05.359 --> 00:07:06.239
 And do you know what they say?

00:07:07.199 --> 00:07:10.979
 They say, where else are we going to go, Jesus?

00:07:11.479 --> 00:07:14.139
 You have the words of eternal life.

00:07:14.139 --> 00:07:18.939
 It's all about words in the Bible story.

00:07:20.120 --> 00:07:23.439
 But if you remember back in Genesis 3,

00:07:24.439 --> 00:07:27.680
 there's a serpent.

00:07:29.019 --> 00:07:29.399
 Satan.

00:07:30.000 --> 00:07:31.159
 Shatan in Hebrew.

00:07:32.120 --> 00:07:34.579
 What's the first thing that Satan does?

00:07:34.579 --> 00:07:38.060
 What does he do?

00:07:38.159 --> 00:07:38.599
 First thing?

00:07:39.800 --> 00:07:40.839
 He speaks.

00:07:41.740 --> 00:07:42.439
 What does he say?

00:07:42.539 --> 00:07:46.539
 He says, did God really say that?

00:07:47.339 --> 00:07:52.399
 And everything that Satan does in the Bible is to undermine God's word.

00:07:52.659 --> 00:07:56.139
 Everything is to undermine the relationship with God and with each other.

00:07:56.219 --> 00:07:57.680
 That's what he's doing all the way through.

00:07:57.680 --> 00:07:58.939
 Jesus says it like this.

00:07:59.000 --> 00:08:01.180
 He comes to steal, kill, and destroy.

00:08:03.180 --> 00:08:04.819
 And he does it through words.

00:08:05.800 --> 00:08:06.959
 He does it through words.

00:08:07.480 --> 00:08:10.300
 You know, the word Satan in the Bible, do you know what it means?

00:08:11.819 --> 00:08:13.920
 It means the accuser.

00:08:14.819 --> 00:08:19.840
 And in Greek, the word devil, which is diabolos, means the slanderer.

00:08:20.839 --> 00:08:23.939
 And Jesus himself says when talking about the devil, he says, you know,

00:08:24.279 --> 00:08:28.060
 lying is his second nature because he's the father of lies.

00:08:28.199 --> 00:08:32.819
 You see, right in the Bible story, right at the heart of it, is a war of words.

00:08:35.199 --> 00:08:38.439
 And Proverbs states the war like this.

00:08:39.059 --> 00:08:42.279
 He says, your words can be life or death.

00:08:42.659 --> 00:08:44.179
 They can be healing or hurting.

00:08:44.299 --> 00:08:46.100
 They can be blessing or cursing.

00:08:46.100 --> 00:08:48.879
 They can build up people or they can tear people down.

00:08:48.959 --> 00:08:49.639
 You choose.

00:08:49.840 --> 00:08:58.500
 So we're going to look at this challenging topic today as we continue our series.

00:08:59.100 --> 00:09:01.600
 And we're going to examine the fruit of words.

00:09:02.240 --> 00:09:08.759
 We're going to look at the heart of words and the healing of words and the healing through our words.

00:09:09.040 --> 00:09:09.200
 Okay?

00:09:09.420 --> 00:09:15.040
 Fruit, heart, healing, and then using our words to heal others.

00:09:15.460 --> 00:09:15.740
 Okay?

00:09:16.019 --> 00:09:16.820
 You with me so far?

00:09:17.780 --> 00:09:18.040
 Good.

00:09:18.039 --> 00:09:20.059
 If you have your bulletin, have your bulletin open.

00:09:20.799 --> 00:09:22.319
 There's a lot of passages there.

00:09:22.379 --> 00:09:23.419
 We're not going to look at all of them.

00:09:23.719 --> 00:09:30.439
 But I want to kind of pick out a few just so you get a flavor of what Proverbs is really telling us about the tongue and about words.

00:09:30.779 --> 00:09:30.899
 Okay?

00:09:33.299 --> 00:09:36.120
 Proverbs 18, verse 20.

00:09:37.019 --> 00:09:38.139
 It's on the other side of your sheet.

00:09:38.139 --> 00:09:39.559
 It says,

00:09:39.559 --> 00:09:51.960
 What he's saying is,

00:09:51.960 --> 00:09:55.460
 Your mouth is always producing something.

00:09:56.240 --> 00:09:56.500
 Okay?

00:09:57.060 --> 00:09:58.320
 It's never neutral.

00:09:58.860 --> 00:10:04.500
 Your mouth is producing either the fruit of life or the fruit of death.

00:10:04.960 --> 00:10:07.600
 It's like a, if you take a picture, it's like a mango tree.

00:10:07.940 --> 00:10:08.180
 Okay?

00:10:09.639 --> 00:10:13.060
 Mangoes are continually coming out of your mouth if you take the image.

00:10:13.600 --> 00:10:13.920
 Okay?

00:10:14.779 --> 00:10:16.039
 Maybe that's a little strange for you.

00:10:16.319 --> 00:10:17.379
 But bear with me.

00:10:17.479 --> 00:10:17.959
 Bear with me.

00:10:18.879 --> 00:10:24.179
 But if you're continually offering rotten mangoes to somebody else, he's saying,

00:10:24.939 --> 00:10:26.860
 Don't expect to get fresh ones back.

00:10:27.939 --> 00:10:31.099
 Because the word satisfied doesn't actually mean fully satisfied.

00:10:31.199 --> 00:10:34.839
 It means you're going to get back the harvest that you sowed.

00:10:35.639 --> 00:10:37.779
 The yield that you sowed.

00:10:37.779 --> 00:10:42.240
 And that's going to be shaped by what you say.

00:10:43.339 --> 00:10:43.759
 And so he says,

00:10:43.879 --> 00:10:46.299
 If you want to be refreshed in your relationships,

00:10:46.759 --> 00:10:50.059
 then give refreshment to others with your words.

00:10:50.579 --> 00:10:53.019
 If you want conflict, it's easy.

00:10:53.600 --> 00:10:57.199
 Just speak words of anger and you'll soon get the fruit of it.

00:10:57.899 --> 00:10:58.939
 That's what he's saying.

00:11:00.860 --> 00:11:03.159
 And if you think about it,

00:11:03.259 --> 00:11:06.299
 I don't know if you're in relationships that you're part of,

00:11:06.299 --> 00:11:09.199
 but there's often this kind of crazy cycle that occurs.

00:11:10.079 --> 00:11:11.740
 You know, you come home from work.

00:11:12.159 --> 00:11:13.519
 You've had a long day.

00:11:13.779 --> 00:11:14.979
 You've skipped lunch.

00:11:15.099 --> 00:11:16.799
 You're starving at the end of the day.

00:11:17.000 --> 00:11:18.740
 If you've got a helper, your helper's away.

00:11:19.000 --> 00:11:23.419
 And you know that your spouse has been back home at least two hours before you.

00:11:25.459 --> 00:11:28.639
 And all you want to do is just put your feet up,

00:11:29.199 --> 00:11:30.379
 just have something to eat,

00:11:30.419 --> 00:11:31.759
 just settle back for the night.

00:11:31.759 --> 00:11:36.919
 And you walk in the front door and you smell nothing.

00:11:39.080 --> 00:11:40.019
 Anyone been there?

00:11:41.139 --> 00:11:43.879
 And you go up to your spouse.

00:11:43.960 --> 00:11:45.439
 There's literally nothing ready.

00:11:45.720 --> 00:11:46.919
 And your spouse says to you,

00:11:47.120 --> 00:11:49.939
 Sorry, food's not ready because I was just doing some online shopping.

00:11:49.940 --> 00:11:55.420
 At that moment is a life and death moment.

00:11:57.520 --> 00:11:57.960
 Right?

00:11:59.140 --> 00:12:01.020
 It's a harvest moment.

00:12:02.720 --> 00:12:04.660
 So what would I say?

00:12:04.780 --> 00:12:06.560
 You know, why isn't the food ready?

00:12:06.840 --> 00:12:09.380
 What have you been doing for the last two hours?

00:12:10.640 --> 00:12:13.180
 And the reply of love and grace comes,

00:12:13.280 --> 00:12:14.620
 What am I, your slave?

00:12:14.620 --> 00:12:16.419
 And they say,

00:12:16.460 --> 00:12:19.519
 Don't you know how hard I've been working for this family all these years?

00:12:21.000 --> 00:12:22.720
 And what's beginning to go on there?

00:12:24.039 --> 00:12:25.080
 What am I offering?

00:12:26.500 --> 00:12:26.940
 Life?

00:12:28.539 --> 00:12:30.399
 I'm offering rotten mangoes.

00:12:30.500 --> 00:12:31.600
 And what am I getting back?

00:12:32.320 --> 00:12:33.360
 I'm getting back.

00:12:33.899 --> 00:12:34.279
 Death.

00:12:35.060 --> 00:12:35.960
 In my life.

00:12:36.320 --> 00:12:38.700
 And what's happening in that relationship is,

00:12:38.700 --> 00:12:39.840
 if we're not careful,

00:12:39.960 --> 00:12:42.180
 the spiral of death can keep going.

00:12:42.179 --> 00:12:45.019
 And you know, in marriage counseling,

00:12:45.299 --> 00:12:46.479
 what you realize is,

00:12:46.759 --> 00:12:49.419
 marriages don't break down from just one poor decision.

00:12:50.319 --> 00:12:52.959
 It's a thousand little moments of death

00:12:52.959 --> 00:12:55.039
 that take place in our lives,

00:12:55.079 --> 00:12:56.199
 and are never checked.

00:12:56.879 --> 00:12:57.899
 A thousand little,

00:12:58.259 --> 00:12:59.639
 Why are you always late?

00:12:59.899 --> 00:13:01.379
 Do I have to do everything?

00:13:01.979 --> 00:13:04.899
 That person's spouse can do it so much better than you.

00:13:06.519 --> 00:13:07.039
 Right?

00:13:08.099 --> 00:13:11.079
 Death, death, death, death, death.

00:13:12.179 --> 00:13:14.000
 And you know,

00:13:14.259 --> 00:13:15.679
 when I'm on my good moments,

00:13:16.059 --> 00:13:17.719
 I hold my tongue.

00:13:19.379 --> 00:13:20.899
 But inside,

00:13:21.219 --> 00:13:23.199
 those same words are kind of internally

00:13:23.199 --> 00:13:25.379
 spewing through my mind.

00:13:26.519 --> 00:13:27.279
 And so,

00:13:27.439 --> 00:13:28.799
 I sullenly withdraw.

00:13:28.959 --> 00:13:30.919
 My body language speaks,

00:13:31.179 --> 00:13:32.759
 even if my words don't.

00:13:35.079 --> 00:13:37.779
 Proverbs 12, 18 says this,

00:13:37.779 --> 00:13:42.779
 There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts,

00:13:43.740 --> 00:13:46.939
 but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

00:13:48.779 --> 00:13:51.319
 Wow, this is a challenging verse, I tell you.

00:13:51.779 --> 00:13:54.579
 The word rash means impulsive.

00:13:55.519 --> 00:13:59.639
 It means allowing your emotions to steer your tongue

00:13:59.639 --> 00:14:01.620
 rather than thinking before you speak.

00:14:01.839 --> 00:14:02.579
 That's what it means.

00:14:02.580 --> 00:14:05.360
 And what he's saying is,

00:14:05.560 --> 00:14:09.040
 when your emotions are the steering wheel of your tongue,

00:14:09.720 --> 00:14:11.400
 your words are like a sword

00:14:11.400 --> 00:14:13.620
 which pierces into people

00:14:13.620 --> 00:14:14.980
 and wounds them.

00:14:18.259 --> 00:14:19.879
 Anyone convicted by that?

00:14:21.020 --> 00:14:22.680
 You know, you go into your kid's bedroom,

00:14:22.780 --> 00:14:23.860
 they have a test tomorrow.

00:14:24.120 --> 00:14:24.900
 What are they doing?

00:14:25.139 --> 00:14:25.820
 Computer games,

00:14:26.100 --> 00:14:26.879
 texting friends,

00:14:27.040 --> 00:14:27.820
 no revision.

00:14:27.820 --> 00:14:30.860
 Your blood is beginning to boil

00:14:30.860 --> 00:14:33.379
 because you've told them 15 times to do it.

00:14:33.600 --> 00:14:35.020
 It's a life and death moment.

00:14:37.379 --> 00:14:38.240
 And you see,

00:14:38.360 --> 00:14:41.060
 if you seek to bring correction when you're angry,

00:14:41.800 --> 00:14:43.620
 instead of waiting until you've calmed down

00:14:43.620 --> 00:14:44.680
 to deal with it,

00:14:44.879 --> 00:14:45.520
 what happens?

00:14:45.600 --> 00:14:46.520
 We let fly.

00:14:47.160 --> 00:14:48.360
 And when we let fly,

00:14:48.460 --> 00:14:49.560
 the fruit we pick

00:14:49.560 --> 00:14:51.400
 is either anger

00:14:51.400 --> 00:14:53.400
 or emotional withdrawal

00:14:53.400 --> 00:14:55.440
 or even guilt ourselves

00:14:55.440 --> 00:14:56.640
 because we think afterwards,

00:14:56.760 --> 00:14:57.820
 why did I say that?

00:14:59.060 --> 00:15:00.600
 Anyone know what I'm talking about?

00:15:03.540 --> 00:15:04.780
 Words are powerful

00:15:04.780 --> 00:15:06.240
 because they bear fruit.

00:15:09.060 --> 00:15:10.660
 But the fruit of words

00:15:10.660 --> 00:15:13.300
 comes out of the heart of words.

00:15:13.860 --> 00:15:15.200
 That's what I want to go to next.

00:15:16.140 --> 00:15:17.280
 The heart of words.

00:15:18.220 --> 00:15:23.340
 Proverbs 16, 23 and 24.

00:15:23.340 --> 00:15:25.360
 The first verse says this.

00:15:26.040 --> 00:15:29.220
 The heart of the wise

00:15:29.220 --> 00:15:32.240
 makes his speech judicious

00:15:32.240 --> 00:15:35.780
 and adds persuasiveness to his lips.

00:15:37.040 --> 00:15:37.300
 Okay?

00:15:37.380 --> 00:15:38.940
 The heart of the wise

00:15:38.940 --> 00:15:40.860
 makes his speech judicious

00:15:40.860 --> 00:15:43.920
 and adds persuasiveness to his lips.

00:15:45.140 --> 00:15:47.380
 You know when the Bible talks about the heart,

00:15:48.380 --> 00:15:49.360
 it's not talking about

00:15:49.360 --> 00:15:50.000
 kind of Hollywood,

00:15:50.220 --> 00:15:50.880
 just emotions.

00:15:51.500 --> 00:15:52.360
 It's actually saying

00:15:52.360 --> 00:15:53.720
 in the Old Testament,

00:15:53.720 --> 00:15:54.660
 your heart is really

00:15:54.660 --> 00:15:57.040
 the inner command center

00:15:57.040 --> 00:15:58.019
 of your life.

00:15:58.940 --> 00:15:59.980
 It's where you're thinking,

00:16:00.139 --> 00:16:00.680
 you're feeling,

00:16:00.779 --> 00:16:01.460
 your decisions

00:16:01.460 --> 00:16:03.480
 actually are made.

00:16:04.460 --> 00:16:04.840
 And so,

00:16:05.100 --> 00:16:06.180
 the paradigm is

00:16:06.180 --> 00:16:07.300
 you have a physical body

00:16:07.300 --> 00:16:08.300
 and you have a heart.

00:16:08.560 --> 00:16:09.220
 And your heart

00:16:09.220 --> 00:16:11.120
 is like the steering wheel

00:16:11.120 --> 00:16:12.060
 which guides your body.

00:16:12.460 --> 00:16:12.740
 Okay?

00:16:12.840 --> 00:16:13.580
 That's the image.

00:16:13.580 --> 00:16:15.540
 And when it says

00:16:15.540 --> 00:16:17.980
 the heart of the wise

00:16:17.980 --> 00:16:19.500
 makes his lips judicious,

00:16:19.639 --> 00:16:20.420
 the word judicious

00:16:20.420 --> 00:16:21.480
 means prudent,

00:16:21.820 --> 00:16:22.620
 having the wisdom

00:16:22.620 --> 00:16:23.240
 to know

00:16:23.240 --> 00:16:24.460
 what to say

00:16:24.460 --> 00:16:25.379
 at the right time

00:16:25.379 --> 00:16:26.520
 and what not to say.

00:16:26.519 --> 00:16:29.019
 And he says

00:16:29.019 --> 00:16:30.419
 wisdom comes out

00:16:30.419 --> 00:16:31.319
 of your heart.

00:16:33.139 --> 00:16:34.419
 Because whether the fruit

00:16:34.419 --> 00:16:35.240
 of life comes out,

00:16:35.299 --> 00:16:36.079
 whether the fruit of death

00:16:36.079 --> 00:16:36.679
 comes out,

00:16:36.919 --> 00:16:38.120
 is shaped by what's going on

00:16:38.120 --> 00:16:39.740
 in your internal root system

00:16:39.740 --> 00:16:40.340
 down below.

00:16:41.819 --> 00:16:42.079
 You know,

00:16:42.120 --> 00:16:43.639
 Jesus says it like this.

00:16:44.279 --> 00:16:45.899
 He says in Luke 6,

00:16:46.740 --> 00:16:49.019
 no good tree bears bad fruit,

00:16:49.600 --> 00:16:50.899
 nor does a bad tree

00:16:50.899 --> 00:16:51.639
 bear good fruit.

00:16:52.259 --> 00:16:53.299
 But the good person

00:16:53.299 --> 00:16:54.399
 brings good things

00:16:54.399 --> 00:16:55.139
 out of the good

00:16:55.139 --> 00:16:56.399
 stored up in his heart.

00:16:56.659 --> 00:16:58.039
 And the evil person

00:16:58.039 --> 00:16:59.220
 brings evil things

00:16:59.220 --> 00:17:00.120
 out of the evil

00:17:00.120 --> 00:17:01.460
 stored up in his heart.

00:17:01.960 --> 00:17:02.759
 And here's the thing.

00:17:03.580 --> 00:17:05.180
 For out of the overflow

00:17:05.180 --> 00:17:06.180
 of the heart

00:17:06.180 --> 00:17:08.599
 the mouth speaks.

00:17:09.299 --> 00:17:10.539
 Out of the overflow

00:17:10.539 --> 00:17:11.460
 of your heart

00:17:11.460 --> 00:17:13.119
 the mouth speaks.

00:17:14.139 --> 00:17:14.599
 I don't know

00:17:14.599 --> 00:17:15.279
 if you can put up

00:17:15.279 --> 00:17:16.180
 a little diagram.

00:17:16.420 --> 00:17:17.279
 Paul Tripp,

00:17:17.539 --> 00:17:18.359
 who some of you know,

00:17:18.420 --> 00:17:19.539
 he came here a few years ago.

00:17:19.599 --> 00:17:20.139
 He's a counselor

00:17:20.139 --> 00:17:20.779
 in the States.

00:17:21.420 --> 00:17:23.079
 He has this diagram

00:17:23.079 --> 00:17:24.480
 to show us

00:17:24.480 --> 00:17:25.059
 what happens

00:17:25.059 --> 00:17:26.099
 in our lives.

00:17:26.640 --> 00:17:27.400
 In our lives

00:17:27.400 --> 00:17:29.180
 we have the heat of life

00:17:29.180 --> 00:17:30.400
 which is the situations

00:17:30.400 --> 00:17:31.319
 we face.

00:17:31.880 --> 00:17:32.779
 Your kids not doing

00:17:32.779 --> 00:17:33.279
 the homework,

00:17:33.519 --> 00:17:34.759
 that sarcastic comment

00:17:34.759 --> 00:17:35.799
 from your colleague.

00:17:35.940 --> 00:17:36.680
 Whatever it is,

00:17:36.799 --> 00:17:37.819
 it's the trigger

00:17:37.819 --> 00:17:40.860
 for a response.

00:17:41.559 --> 00:17:42.519
 And what comes out

00:17:42.519 --> 00:17:43.220
 of your response

00:17:43.220 --> 00:17:44.079
 can be thorns

00:17:44.079 --> 00:17:45.759
 or it can be good fruit.

00:17:45.880 --> 00:17:46.559
 Rotten mangoes

00:17:46.559 --> 00:17:47.579
 are good mangoes.

00:17:47.579 --> 00:17:58.039
 fruit comes out

00:17:58.039 --> 00:17:59.279
 ultimately from the root

00:17:59.279 --> 00:18:00.139
 of what is at the bottom

00:18:00.139 --> 00:18:00.879
 of those trees.

00:18:01.279 --> 00:18:02.000
 And we reap

00:18:02.000 --> 00:18:03.139
 the consequences

00:18:03.139 --> 00:18:04.819
 of what flows in

00:18:04.819 --> 00:18:06.579
 and out of our roots

00:18:06.579 --> 00:18:07.839
 into our words.

00:18:08.859 --> 00:18:09.019
 You know,

00:18:09.079 --> 00:18:11.119
 he tells a story

00:18:11.119 --> 00:18:12.000
 of when he went

00:18:12.000 --> 00:18:13.500
 to an extended family reunion.

00:18:13.500 --> 00:18:16.279
 And when he was there,

00:18:16.359 --> 00:18:17.039
 his uncle

00:18:17.039 --> 00:18:18.920
 had got incredibly drunk

00:18:18.920 --> 00:18:20.500
 and was kind of

00:18:20.500 --> 00:18:21.099
 coming out

00:18:21.099 --> 00:18:21.579
 with all kinds

00:18:21.579 --> 00:18:22.519
 of very sexually

00:18:22.519 --> 00:18:23.539
 explicit language.

00:18:24.579 --> 00:18:25.420
 And his mom

00:18:25.420 --> 00:18:26.200
 grabs him

00:18:26.200 --> 00:18:27.039
 and his brother

00:18:27.039 --> 00:18:28.279
 and rushes them

00:18:28.279 --> 00:18:29.059
 to the car,

00:18:29.420 --> 00:18:30.279
 sits them in back,

00:18:30.500 --> 00:18:31.200
 and just before

00:18:31.200 --> 00:18:32.400
 he's about to drive off,

00:18:32.660 --> 00:18:33.599
 she says to them

00:18:33.599 --> 00:18:34.460
 this thing

00:18:34.460 --> 00:18:35.339
 that they never forgot.

00:18:35.460 --> 00:18:35.680
 He says,

00:18:35.880 --> 00:18:36.839
 I want to say

00:18:36.839 --> 00:18:37.660
 something to you

00:18:37.660 --> 00:18:38.500
 and I want you

00:18:38.500 --> 00:18:39.519
 never to forget it.

00:18:40.279 --> 00:18:41.039
 There's nothing

00:18:41.039 --> 00:18:41.819
 that comes out

00:18:41.819 --> 00:18:42.319
 of the mouth

00:18:42.319 --> 00:18:42.920
 of a drunk

00:18:42.920 --> 00:18:43.859
 that wasn't there

00:18:43.859 --> 00:18:44.759
 in the first place.

00:18:46.379 --> 00:18:47.139
 There's nothing

00:18:47.139 --> 00:18:47.779
 that comes out

00:18:47.779 --> 00:18:48.220
 of the mouth

00:18:48.220 --> 00:18:48.720
 of a drunk

00:18:48.720 --> 00:18:49.480
 that wasn't there

00:18:49.480 --> 00:18:50.500
 in the first place.

00:18:50.980 --> 00:18:51.839
 That's what Jesus

00:18:51.839 --> 00:18:52.420
 is saying.

00:18:52.500 --> 00:18:52.759
 You see,

00:18:52.819 --> 00:18:53.619
 it wasn't alcohol

00:18:53.619 --> 00:18:54.440
 that made him

00:18:54.440 --> 00:18:55.480
 say those things.

00:18:56.099 --> 00:18:56.759
 Alcohol just

00:18:56.759 --> 00:18:57.819
 loosened his lips.

00:18:59.619 --> 00:19:00.460
 And with his lips

00:19:00.460 --> 00:19:01.099
 loosened,

00:19:01.259 --> 00:19:02.480
 out came his heart.

00:19:03.680 --> 00:19:04.259
 You see,

00:19:04.319 --> 00:19:05.200
 your word problems

00:19:05.200 --> 00:19:06.180
 are heart problems.

00:19:09.519 --> 00:19:10.359
 I remember

00:19:10.359 --> 00:19:13.539
 a little while ago

00:19:13.539 --> 00:19:14.799
 with Fiona and I

00:19:14.799 --> 00:19:15.680
 had to go to a party.

00:19:17.480 --> 00:19:18.359
 We were late.

00:19:19.980 --> 00:19:20.799
 Fiona was sharing

00:19:20.799 --> 00:19:21.759
 about a real challenge

00:19:21.759 --> 00:19:22.859
 she was having at work.

00:19:22.960 --> 00:19:24.319
 It was a really tough situation

00:19:24.319 --> 00:19:25.160
 and, you know,

00:19:25.220 --> 00:19:25.960
 I got the point

00:19:25.960 --> 00:19:26.920
 after a few minutes.

00:19:27.720 --> 00:19:28.579
 I was caring,

00:19:28.799 --> 00:19:29.259
 compassionate,

00:19:29.720 --> 00:19:31.400
 but then she kept talking

00:19:31.400 --> 00:19:32.220
 and kept sharing.

00:19:33.180 --> 00:19:33.700
 And I was looking

00:19:33.700 --> 00:19:34.240
 at my watch

00:19:34.240 --> 00:19:34.900
 and it's getting later

00:19:34.900 --> 00:19:35.759
 and later and later.

00:19:36.759 --> 00:19:38.460
 And I was biting my tongue,

00:19:38.460 --> 00:19:39.039
 you know,

00:19:39.120 --> 00:19:39.840
 loving husband.

00:19:41.559 --> 00:19:42.799
 And I'm thinking,

00:19:42.980 --> 00:19:43.480
 come on,

00:19:43.600 --> 00:19:44.019
 come on,

00:19:44.059 --> 00:19:44.640
 we've got to go.

00:19:44.759 --> 00:19:45.480
 We're going to be late.

00:19:46.539 --> 00:19:48.059
 And after 20 minutes

00:19:48.059 --> 00:19:49.120
 had gone past,

00:19:50.120 --> 00:19:51.980
 finally I'd had enough

00:19:51.980 --> 00:19:53.480
 and out of my frustration

00:19:53.480 --> 00:19:55.380
 I said two loving,

00:19:55.880 --> 00:19:57.880
 deeply compassionate words

00:19:57.880 --> 00:19:59.140
 in Cantonese.

00:20:01.100 --> 00:20:01.980
 I said,

00:20:02.420 --> 00:20:03.980
 which means,

00:20:04.500 --> 00:20:04.900
 got to go.

00:20:04.900 --> 00:20:07.780
 And I stood up

00:20:07.780 --> 00:20:08.820
 and I started walking

00:20:08.820 --> 00:20:09.500
 towards the door.

00:20:10.700 --> 00:20:11.900
 You can imagine

00:20:11.900 --> 00:20:12.840
 the conversation

00:20:12.840 --> 00:20:13.940
 going to the party

00:20:13.940 --> 00:20:15.300
 was filled with life

00:20:15.300 --> 00:20:15.880
 and love

00:20:15.880 --> 00:20:16.540
 and grace.

00:20:17.980 --> 00:20:19.060
 It wasn't.

00:20:21.380 --> 00:20:23.259
 But I realized something.

00:20:25.860 --> 00:20:27.500
 In my two words,

00:20:27.700 --> 00:20:28.560
 the two words,

00:20:28.559 --> 00:20:31.519
 I had expressed

00:20:31.519 --> 00:20:33.579
 something far more profound

00:20:33.579 --> 00:20:34.980
 than what I'd actually said

00:20:34.980 --> 00:20:35.899
 in the words.

00:20:36.839 --> 00:20:38.259
 What I was saying was,

00:20:38.319 --> 00:20:39.019
 I was saying,

00:20:39.440 --> 00:20:40.779
 I'm not interested

00:20:40.779 --> 00:20:41.819
 in your issues.

00:20:42.579 --> 00:20:43.179
 I was saying,

00:20:43.299 --> 00:20:44.339
 me being on time

00:20:44.339 --> 00:20:45.200
 is more important

00:20:45.200 --> 00:20:45.720
 than you.

00:20:46.559 --> 00:20:47.279
 That's what I was saying.

00:20:48.159 --> 00:20:48.679
 I was saying,

00:20:48.899 --> 00:20:49.759
 my heart wants

00:20:49.759 --> 00:20:50.700
 to get my way

00:20:50.700 --> 00:20:52.359
 and if I can't be the one

00:20:52.359 --> 00:20:53.500
 who gets in my way,

00:20:53.779 --> 00:20:55.200
 then I've got to,

00:20:55.200 --> 00:20:56.299
 I've got to say something.

00:20:56.399 --> 00:20:57.259
 I've got to do something

00:20:57.259 --> 00:20:58.579
 to fix the situation

00:20:58.579 --> 00:21:00.940
 because your problems

00:21:00.940 --> 00:21:02.720
 are getting in my way

00:21:02.720 --> 00:21:03.940
 of being on time.

00:21:04.779 --> 00:21:05.740
 That's what I was saying.

00:21:08.579 --> 00:21:09.059
 And so,

00:21:09.339 --> 00:21:10.000
 afterwards,

00:21:10.119 --> 00:21:10.500
 do you know what?

00:21:10.579 --> 00:21:11.319
 I apologize

00:21:11.319 --> 00:21:12.579
 and I say things like,

00:21:12.660 --> 00:21:13.539
 hey, I'm sorry

00:21:13.539 --> 00:21:14.359
 I was insensitive.

00:21:15.619 --> 00:21:16.299
 I'm sorry

00:21:16.299 --> 00:21:17.099
 I was impatient.

00:21:18.940 --> 00:21:19.680
 Do you realize

00:21:19.680 --> 00:21:20.420
 that's not actually

00:21:20.420 --> 00:21:21.220
 a true apology?

00:21:23.099 --> 00:21:24.599
 Because what am I apologizing?

00:21:24.599 --> 00:21:25.480
 I'm apologizing

00:21:25.480 --> 00:21:26.500
 for the fruit

00:21:26.500 --> 00:21:28.980
 but I'm not apologizing

00:21:28.980 --> 00:21:29.619
 for the root

00:21:29.619 --> 00:21:30.480
 of my heart

00:21:30.480 --> 00:21:33.099
 because

00:21:33.099 --> 00:21:35.680
 what I needed

00:21:35.680 --> 00:21:36.480
 to say was,

00:21:36.640 --> 00:21:37.319
 hey, I'm sorry

00:21:37.319 --> 00:21:38.099
 for being the kind

00:21:38.099 --> 00:21:38.619
 of person

00:21:38.619 --> 00:21:39.660
 who puts myself

00:21:39.660 --> 00:21:40.380
 before you.

00:21:41.339 --> 00:21:42.039
 I'm sorry

00:21:42.039 --> 00:21:42.799
 for being the kind

00:21:42.799 --> 00:21:43.380
 of person

00:21:43.380 --> 00:21:44.400
 who has to have

00:21:44.400 --> 00:21:45.519
 things his own way.

00:21:46.559 --> 00:21:47.480
 That's what I needed

00:21:47.480 --> 00:21:48.640
 to apologize for.

00:21:50.680 --> 00:21:51.559
 And you know,

00:21:52.220 --> 00:21:53.519
 if you're angry,

00:21:54.500 --> 00:21:55.480
 Proverbs tells you,

00:21:55.480 --> 00:21:56.220
 you read the verses,

00:21:56.339 --> 00:21:56.740
 it tells you,

00:21:56.779 --> 00:21:57.420
 hold your tongue.

00:21:58.140 --> 00:21:59.200
 Learn to count to ten,

00:21:59.460 --> 00:22:00.559
 do whatever it takes

00:22:00.559 --> 00:22:01.839
 like to stop yourself

00:22:01.839 --> 00:22:02.539
 digging yourself

00:22:02.539 --> 00:22:03.360
 into a grave.

00:22:03.640 --> 00:22:03.900
 Okay?

00:22:04.079 --> 00:22:04.900
 Do that.

00:22:05.799 --> 00:22:06.819
 But realize

00:22:06.819 --> 00:22:08.500
 just a bit of extra discipline

00:22:08.500 --> 00:22:09.759
 is only a band-aid

00:22:09.759 --> 00:22:10.660
 that you're putting

00:22:10.660 --> 00:22:11.920
 on a temporary band-aid

00:22:11.920 --> 00:22:12.700
 which isn't dealing

00:22:12.700 --> 00:22:13.640
 with the real issues

00:22:13.640 --> 00:22:14.259
 which are going on

00:22:14.259 --> 00:22:14.839
 in your heart.

00:22:17.019 --> 00:22:17.940
 Our words

00:22:17.940 --> 00:22:19.120
 reproduce fruit

00:22:19.119 --> 00:22:20.539
 and our words

00:22:20.539 --> 00:22:21.979
 flow from our hearts.

00:22:23.639 --> 00:22:24.599
 But now let's talk

00:22:24.599 --> 00:22:25.179
 about the healing

00:22:25.179 --> 00:22:25.819
 of words.

00:22:30.679 --> 00:22:31.439
 John Newton,

00:22:32.159 --> 00:22:34.679
 who many of you

00:22:34.679 --> 00:22:35.159
 have heard of

00:22:35.159 --> 00:22:36.379
 the hymn Amazing Grace,

00:22:37.279 --> 00:22:37.479
 who,

00:22:37.899 --> 00:22:39.759
 he wrote that hymn,

00:22:39.979 --> 00:22:40.919
 he was a slave trader,

00:22:41.979 --> 00:22:43.219
 he said this,

00:22:44.099 --> 00:22:45.059
 and this is just

00:22:45.059 --> 00:22:45.619
 really challenging,

00:22:45.619 --> 00:22:46.099
 he said,

00:22:46.639 --> 00:22:47.599
 there is perhaps

00:22:47.599 --> 00:22:49.459
 no one test

00:22:49.459 --> 00:22:50.639
 or proof

00:22:50.639 --> 00:22:51.859
 of the reality

00:22:51.859 --> 00:22:53.299
 of a work of grace

00:22:53.299 --> 00:22:54.439
 upon the heart

00:22:54.439 --> 00:22:55.619
 more simple,

00:22:56.099 --> 00:22:56.500
 clear,

00:22:56.679 --> 00:22:57.479
 and infallible

00:22:57.479 --> 00:22:58.899
 than the general tenor

00:22:58.899 --> 00:22:59.579
 of our language

00:22:59.579 --> 00:23:00.419
 and conversation.

00:23:04.579 --> 00:23:06.159
 No more proof

00:23:06.159 --> 00:23:07.000
 of the reality

00:23:07.000 --> 00:23:07.559
 of grace

00:23:07.559 --> 00:23:08.559
 working in your heart

00:23:08.559 --> 00:23:09.419
 than what comes

00:23:09.419 --> 00:23:10.279
 out of your mouth.

00:23:11.919 --> 00:23:13.759
 The 19th century preacher

00:23:13.759 --> 00:23:14.639
 Charles Spurgeon

00:23:14.639 --> 00:23:15.459
 said this,

00:23:16.500 --> 00:23:17.759
 the grace of God

00:23:17.759 --> 00:23:19.359
 sweetens a man's tongue

00:23:19.359 --> 00:23:21.579
 and if his religion

00:23:21.579 --> 00:23:22.539
 does not operate

00:23:22.539 --> 00:23:23.639
 upon his speech,

00:23:24.379 --> 00:23:25.179
 surely it isn't

00:23:25.179 --> 00:23:25.639
 the religion

00:23:25.639 --> 00:23:26.259
 of the pure

00:23:26.259 --> 00:23:27.079
 and holy God.

00:23:30.159 --> 00:23:31.239
 And I thought about that,

00:23:31.259 --> 00:23:32.439
 that sounds a little extreme,

00:23:32.799 --> 00:23:33.259
 doesn't it?

00:23:34.339 --> 00:23:35.219
 And then I read

00:23:35.219 --> 00:23:36.019
 in the book of James

00:23:36.019 --> 00:23:36.679
 which says,

00:23:37.239 --> 00:23:37.939
 if anyone thinks

00:23:37.939 --> 00:23:38.459
 he's religious

00:23:38.459 --> 00:23:39.419
 and yet you can't

00:23:39.419 --> 00:23:40.279
 control your tongue,

00:23:40.399 --> 00:23:40.839
 your religion

00:23:40.839 --> 00:23:41.599
 is worthless.

00:23:41.599 --> 00:23:46.500
 Now do you get

00:23:46.500 --> 00:23:47.099
 what he's saying?

00:23:47.179 --> 00:23:47.639
 He's saying,

00:23:48.279 --> 00:23:48.819
 and he's not saying

00:23:48.819 --> 00:23:49.819
 this to condemn us,

00:23:50.059 --> 00:23:50.879
 he's saying this,

00:23:50.980 --> 00:23:52.259
 he's saying your conversation,

00:23:52.480 --> 00:23:53.219
 what you talk about,

00:23:53.319 --> 00:23:54.379
 how you talk about it,

00:23:54.579 --> 00:23:55.740
 the words and the tone

00:23:55.740 --> 00:23:56.480
 that you use

00:23:56.480 --> 00:23:57.559
 are the demonstration

00:23:57.559 --> 00:23:58.819
 of how much

00:23:58.819 --> 00:23:59.539
 you've understood

00:23:59.539 --> 00:24:00.219
 and embraced

00:24:00.219 --> 00:24:00.719
 the gospel

00:24:00.719 --> 00:24:01.480
 in your life.

00:24:02.839 --> 00:24:03.399
 He's saying

00:24:03.399 --> 00:24:05.279
 if harshness

00:24:05.279 --> 00:24:06.339
 and criticalness

00:24:06.339 --> 00:24:07.000
 and complaining

00:24:07.000 --> 00:24:08.379
 is all that comes out,

00:24:08.380 --> 00:24:09.800
 that's evidence

00:24:09.800 --> 00:24:10.500
 that you need

00:24:10.500 --> 00:24:11.440
 more of the gospel

00:24:11.440 --> 00:24:12.300
 in your life.

00:24:18.140 --> 00:24:19.720
 Proverbs 15,

00:24:19.900 --> 00:24:21.100
 28 says this,

00:24:22.540 --> 00:24:23.980
 the heart of the righteous

00:24:23.980 --> 00:24:25.440
 ponders how to answer

00:24:25.440 --> 00:24:27.160
 but the mouth

00:24:27.160 --> 00:24:27.780
 of the wicked

00:24:27.780 --> 00:24:29.200
 pours out evil things.

00:24:31.140 --> 00:24:33.040
 The heart of the righteous

00:24:33.040 --> 00:24:36.320
 changes how they respond,

00:24:36.920 --> 00:24:38.060
 how they use words,

00:24:38.380 --> 00:24:40.220
 so who are the righteous?

00:24:41.720 --> 00:24:42.640
 The righteous

00:24:42.640 --> 00:24:44.180
 are those

00:24:44.180 --> 00:24:44.820
 who are in a right

00:24:44.820 --> 00:24:45.960
 relationship with God.

00:24:47.620 --> 00:24:48.560
 They're the good tree

00:24:48.560 --> 00:24:49.060
 that Jesus

00:24:49.060 --> 00:24:50.080
 was talking about.

00:24:50.760 --> 00:24:51.120
 They're those

00:24:51.120 --> 00:24:52.200
 who recognize

00:24:52.200 --> 00:24:53.420
 their utter need

00:24:53.420 --> 00:24:53.980
 for Jesus

00:24:53.980 --> 00:24:54.840
 to save them

00:24:54.840 --> 00:24:56.140
 even from their mouths

00:24:56.140 --> 00:24:57.480
 and their hearts

00:24:57.480 --> 00:24:58.980
 and they've heard

00:24:58.980 --> 00:25:00.460
 Jesus' words of life

00:25:00.460 --> 00:25:01.640
 in the gospel

00:25:01.640 --> 00:25:02.200
 and they've put

00:25:02.200 --> 00:25:03.140
 their trust in him

00:25:03.140 --> 00:25:05.140
 and they fill

00:25:05.140 --> 00:25:05.740
 their hearts

00:25:05.740 --> 00:25:06.480
 with his grace,

00:25:06.600 --> 00:25:07.260
 with his word,

00:25:07.360 --> 00:25:08.160
 with his promises

00:25:08.160 --> 00:25:10.300
 and they trust

00:25:10.300 --> 00:25:10.920
 ultimately

00:25:10.920 --> 00:25:11.680
 in God's

00:25:11.680 --> 00:25:13.400
 final word to us

00:25:13.400 --> 00:25:14.860
 which is Jesus himself.

00:25:20.340 --> 00:25:20.940
 And you know,

00:25:21.000 --> 00:25:21.960
 I don't know where you are.

00:25:22.040 --> 00:25:22.640
 I don't know where

00:25:22.640 --> 00:25:23.640
 you are in your

00:25:23.640 --> 00:25:24.460
 relationship with God.

00:25:24.580 --> 00:25:25.860
 If you're like,

00:25:26.000 --> 00:25:26.800
 I don't know

00:25:26.800 --> 00:25:27.900
 if I'm one of the righteous.

00:25:27.900 --> 00:25:30.340
 The Bible says,

00:25:30.759 --> 00:25:31.960
 today is the day

00:25:31.960 --> 00:25:32.600
 where you've got to

00:25:32.600 --> 00:25:33.740
 run to Jesus,

00:25:34.660 --> 00:25:36.660
 run to him

00:25:36.660 --> 00:25:36.920
 and say,

00:25:36.980 --> 00:25:37.120
 God,

00:25:37.340 --> 00:25:38.640
 I don't understand,

00:25:38.860 --> 00:25:39.880
 maybe I don't even know

00:25:39.880 --> 00:25:40.900
 whether you're real or not

00:25:40.900 --> 00:25:41.920
 but please show me

00:25:41.920 --> 00:25:42.680
 because you've got to

00:25:42.680 --> 00:25:43.360
 save me

00:25:43.360 --> 00:25:44.660
 from my words

00:25:44.660 --> 00:25:45.519
 which may destroy

00:25:45.519 --> 00:25:46.280
 more people.

00:25:48.980 --> 00:25:49.940
 But if you know

00:25:49.940 --> 00:25:50.980
 that as a Christian,

00:25:51.140 --> 00:25:52.180
 you are one of the righteous,

00:25:52.660 --> 00:25:53.460
 the righteous want

00:25:53.460 --> 00:25:54.060
 their speech

00:25:54.060 --> 00:25:55.480
 patterned after Jesus

00:25:55.480 --> 00:25:58.039
 and they think

00:25:58.039 --> 00:25:58.620
 about him.

00:25:59.559 --> 00:25:59.740
 You know,

00:26:00.220 --> 00:26:01.160
 so if you look through

00:26:01.160 --> 00:26:02.799
 how Jesus uses his words,

00:26:02.880 --> 00:26:03.539
 it's extraordinary.

00:26:04.539 --> 00:26:04.759
 You know,

00:26:05.079 --> 00:26:05.880
 when Peter,

00:26:06.180 --> 00:26:07.099
 Peter says

00:26:07.099 --> 00:26:08.200
 to Jesus,

00:26:08.559 --> 00:26:09.839
 you're the Messiah

00:26:09.839 --> 00:26:11.380
 and Jesus says to him,

00:26:11.460 --> 00:26:12.380
 he affirms him,

00:26:12.440 --> 00:26:12.660
 he says,

00:26:12.799 --> 00:26:13.539
 blessed are you,

00:26:13.620 --> 00:26:13.900
 Peter,

00:26:14.599 --> 00:26:15.480
 because God,

00:26:15.579 --> 00:26:16.160
 my Father,

00:26:16.240 --> 00:26:17.259
 revealed this to you.

00:26:17.940 --> 00:26:18.680
 A moment later,

00:26:18.960 --> 00:26:19.819
 Peter's trying to run

00:26:19.819 --> 00:26:20.599
 his own world,

00:26:20.700 --> 00:26:21.200
 his way

00:26:21.200 --> 00:26:22.140
 and then he says,

00:26:22.759 --> 00:26:24.140
 and Jesus says to him,

00:26:24.799 --> 00:26:25.620
 he rebukes him,

00:26:25.680 --> 00:26:25.840
 he says,

00:26:25.940 --> 00:26:26.740
 get behind me,

00:26:26.799 --> 00:26:27.039
 Satan.

00:26:27.680 --> 00:26:28.360
 He's not afraid

00:26:28.360 --> 00:26:29.140
 to correct.

00:26:30.220 --> 00:26:30.860
 Then in the Garden

00:26:30.860 --> 00:26:31.799
 of Gethsemane,

00:26:32.000 --> 00:26:33.200
 the moment of absolute

00:26:33.200 --> 00:26:33.880
 loneliness

00:26:33.880 --> 00:26:35.259
 and suffering

00:26:35.259 --> 00:26:35.840
 for Jesus,

00:26:35.960 --> 00:26:37.000
 Jesus asks his disciples,

00:26:37.120 --> 00:26:37.220
 hey,

00:26:37.259 --> 00:26:38.160
 would you pray with me?

00:26:38.340 --> 00:26:39.220
 Would you be with me?

00:26:39.259 --> 00:26:40.120
 Would you support me

00:26:40.120 --> 00:26:40.900
 during this time?

00:26:41.299 --> 00:26:42.059
 And he goes off

00:26:42.059 --> 00:26:42.480
 and prays

00:26:42.480 --> 00:26:43.059
 and he comes back

00:26:43.059 --> 00:26:43.620
 and what happens?

00:26:44.620 --> 00:26:45.840
 They're all falling asleep.

00:26:46.940 --> 00:26:47.500
 And so Jesus

00:26:47.500 --> 00:26:48.240
 at that moment

00:26:48.240 --> 00:26:48.960
 comes to them

00:26:48.960 --> 00:26:49.700
 and comes to Peter

00:26:49.700 --> 00:26:50.340
 and says to him,

00:26:50.440 --> 00:26:51.500
 what kind of a friend

00:26:51.500 --> 00:26:52.059
 are you?

00:26:53.340 --> 00:26:54.680
 How do you treat me

00:26:54.680 --> 00:26:55.700
 when I need you the most?

00:26:55.740 --> 00:26:56.360
 Is that what he says?

00:26:57.940 --> 00:26:58.240
 No.

00:26:59.240 --> 00:26:59.940
 It's extraordinary.

00:27:00.059 --> 00:27:00.539
 He says,

00:27:01.340 --> 00:27:01.559
 Peter,

00:27:01.759 --> 00:27:03.220
 I know you mean well.

00:27:04.860 --> 00:27:05.640
 You're just weak.

00:27:07.160 --> 00:27:08.340
 The spirit is willing

00:27:08.340 --> 00:27:09.480
 but the flesh is weak.

00:27:10.740 --> 00:27:12.000
 And he just shows him grace.

00:27:13.779 --> 00:27:15.279
 And then he gets to the cross

00:27:15.279 --> 00:27:16.400
 and he's nailed there

00:27:16.400 --> 00:27:17.600
 and he's spat upon

00:27:17.600 --> 00:27:18.580
 and he's mocked

00:27:18.579 --> 00:27:19.759
 with words of hatred

00:27:19.759 --> 00:27:20.879
 and contempt

00:27:20.879 --> 00:27:22.779
 and accusation

00:27:22.779 --> 00:27:24.359
 and the sword thrusts

00:27:24.359 --> 00:27:25.179
 of people's words

00:27:25.179 --> 00:27:25.839
 are piercing

00:27:25.839 --> 00:27:28.279
 just as your words

00:27:28.279 --> 00:27:28.960
 and my words

00:27:28.960 --> 00:27:30.460
 pierce others

00:27:30.460 --> 00:27:32.379
 and pierce his heart too.

00:27:34.419 --> 00:27:35.339
 And he says

00:27:35.339 --> 00:27:36.679
 those incredible words.

00:27:37.460 --> 00:27:38.059
 He says,

00:27:38.720 --> 00:27:39.099
 Father,

00:27:40.279 --> 00:27:41.379
 forgive them

00:27:41.379 --> 00:27:43.039
 for they don't know

00:27:43.039 --> 00:27:43.799
 what they're doing.

00:27:45.740 --> 00:27:46.500
 I've wondered

00:27:46.500 --> 00:27:47.380
 for a long time.

00:27:47.500 --> 00:27:48.259
 What on earth

00:27:48.259 --> 00:27:49.519
 he means by that statement.

00:27:50.480 --> 00:27:51.440
 Have you thought about it?

00:27:51.900 --> 00:27:52.519
 They don't know

00:27:52.519 --> 00:27:53.180
 what they're doing.

00:27:53.759 --> 00:27:54.579
 Of course they know

00:27:54.579 --> 00:27:55.279
 what they're doing.

00:27:55.500 --> 00:27:56.500
 They're killing him.

00:27:56.779 --> 00:27:57.839
 They're mocking him.

00:27:58.000 --> 00:27:59.039
 That's not an accident.

00:28:00.440 --> 00:28:02.119
 Why does Jesus say that?

00:28:02.180 --> 00:28:02.299
 Well,

00:28:02.339 --> 00:28:04.160
 because when the rotten fruit

00:28:04.160 --> 00:28:05.480
 is being thrown at him,

00:28:05.640 --> 00:28:06.960
 how does he respond?

00:28:07.420 --> 00:28:08.779
 But he responds

00:28:08.779 --> 00:28:10.440
 with a beautiful fruit

00:28:10.440 --> 00:28:11.160
 of forgiveness

00:28:11.160 --> 00:28:12.340
 and grace

00:28:12.340 --> 00:28:14.720
 and kindness

00:28:14.720 --> 00:28:16.660
 and love

00:28:16.660 --> 00:28:19.279
 because,

00:28:20.059 --> 00:28:20.960
 and here's the thing,

00:28:21.080 --> 00:28:22.600
 because his heart

00:28:22.600 --> 00:28:24.500
 is so deeply entrenched

00:28:24.500 --> 00:28:25.759
 in the Father's love

00:28:25.759 --> 00:28:26.360
 for him.

00:28:27.940 --> 00:28:28.220
 You know,

00:28:28.259 --> 00:28:28.960
 the words

00:28:28.960 --> 00:28:29.700
 that his Father

00:28:29.700 --> 00:28:30.920
 speaks over him.

00:28:31.080 --> 00:28:31.940
 You see how the relationship

00:28:31.940 --> 00:28:33.000
 within the Trinity works?

00:28:33.200 --> 00:28:34.480
 At the baptism of Jesus,

00:28:34.620 --> 00:28:34.980
 do you know what

00:28:34.980 --> 00:28:36.120
 the Father says to him?

00:28:36.380 --> 00:28:36.720
 He says,

00:28:37.039 --> 00:28:39.500
 You are my son

00:28:39.500 --> 00:28:40.480
 whom I love.

00:28:40.940 --> 00:28:41.640
 With you

00:28:41.640 --> 00:28:43.140
 I am well pleased.

00:28:44.339 --> 00:28:45.339
 That's the words

00:28:45.339 --> 00:28:46.779
 Jesus soaks in.

00:28:47.120 --> 00:28:48.720
 He's got deep affirmation

00:28:48.720 --> 00:28:49.920
 from the Father's love

00:28:49.920 --> 00:28:50.980
 so when words

00:28:50.980 --> 00:28:51.680
 pierce him,

00:28:51.880 --> 00:28:52.880
 he's not responding

00:28:52.880 --> 00:28:53.759
 with revenge

00:28:53.759 --> 00:28:54.839
 but he's responding

00:28:54.839 --> 00:28:55.579
 with grace.

00:28:56.279 --> 00:28:57.420
 That's the key

00:28:57.420 --> 00:28:59.140
 to our heart change.

00:29:01.380 --> 00:29:02.519
 That you know

00:29:02.519 --> 00:29:03.640
 the love of God

00:29:03.640 --> 00:29:04.620
 and his words

00:29:04.620 --> 00:29:05.720
 in your life.

00:29:05.720 --> 00:29:06.700
 that's what will

00:29:06.700 --> 00:29:07.640
 sweeten your tongue.

00:29:09.839 --> 00:29:10.819
 And I don't know,

00:29:12.039 --> 00:29:13.420
 some of us may feel

00:29:13.420 --> 00:29:14.220
 like we've blown it

00:29:14.220 --> 00:29:14.980
 with our words.

00:29:15.279 --> 00:29:16.039
 Not just once

00:29:16.039 --> 00:29:17.279
 but many, many times.

00:29:19.019 --> 00:29:19.920
 And you wonder

00:29:19.920 --> 00:29:20.740
 whether you can actually

00:29:20.740 --> 00:29:21.980
 ever change really.

00:29:23.220 --> 00:29:24.100
 Because you see

00:29:24.100 --> 00:29:24.960
 the carnage

00:29:24.960 --> 00:29:25.940
 of your words

00:29:25.940 --> 00:29:27.100
 and you feel like

00:29:27.100 --> 00:29:27.980
 you've lost the battle.

00:29:30.500 --> 00:29:31.759
 But there's an amazing thing

00:29:31.759 --> 00:29:32.720
 the Bible says

00:29:32.720 --> 00:29:33.700
 it's the devil

00:29:33.700 --> 00:29:34.880
 who's the accuser

00:29:34.880 --> 00:29:35.880
 and the condemner.

00:29:36.019 --> 00:29:36.620
 It's not Jesus.

00:29:39.340 --> 00:29:40.220
 And what God

00:29:40.220 --> 00:29:40.900
 wants to do

00:29:40.900 --> 00:29:41.759
 in your heart

00:29:41.759 --> 00:29:42.500
 and in my heart

00:29:42.500 --> 00:29:43.080
 is to work

00:29:43.080 --> 00:29:43.819
 a process

00:29:43.819 --> 00:29:44.380
 of deep

00:29:44.380 --> 00:29:45.539
 heart level

00:29:45.539 --> 00:29:46.180
 repentance.

00:29:47.460 --> 00:29:48.220
 That you may have

00:29:48.220 --> 00:29:48.920
 to do again

00:29:48.920 --> 00:29:49.700
 and again

00:29:49.700 --> 00:29:50.539
 and again.

00:29:51.819 --> 00:29:53.120
 But as you do that,

00:29:53.160 --> 00:29:53.840
 as you soak

00:29:53.840 --> 00:29:54.440
 in the gospel

00:29:54.440 --> 00:29:55.340
 of Jesus' love

00:29:55.339 --> 00:29:56.159
 for you,

00:29:57.659 --> 00:30:00.720
 He's going to

00:30:00.720 --> 00:30:01.339
 change you.

00:30:02.179 --> 00:30:02.839
 He's going to

00:30:02.839 --> 00:30:03.899
 sweeten your tongue.

00:30:05.039 --> 00:30:05.779
 He will.

00:30:07.119 --> 00:30:07.980
 And what repentance

00:30:07.980 --> 00:30:08.659
 means,

00:30:08.740 --> 00:30:09.679
 it means owning

00:30:09.679 --> 00:30:11.259
 our self-centeredness.

00:30:11.500 --> 00:30:12.099
 Stop blaming

00:30:12.099 --> 00:30:12.559
 on others.

00:30:12.639 --> 00:30:12.779
 You know,

00:30:12.839 --> 00:30:13.659
 I was tired.

00:30:14.019 --> 00:30:14.740
 If you hadn't

00:30:14.740 --> 00:30:15.220
 have said that,

00:30:15.259 --> 00:30:16.139
 I wouldn't have said that.

00:30:16.299 --> 00:30:17.339
 That is denial.

00:30:17.500 --> 00:30:17.959
 That's not

00:30:17.959 --> 00:30:18.939
 heart level repentance.

00:30:18.940 --> 00:30:22.600
 You know,

00:30:23.140 --> 00:30:24.080
 many of us,

00:30:24.200 --> 00:30:25.080
 including myself,

00:30:25.160 --> 00:30:26.019
 don't often realize

00:30:26.019 --> 00:30:26.880
 how we sound

00:30:26.880 --> 00:30:27.680
 to other people.

00:30:28.400 --> 00:30:29.120
 Have you realized that?

00:30:29.539 --> 00:30:30.340
 I've realized that.

00:30:30.400 --> 00:30:30.539
 You know,

00:30:30.580 --> 00:30:31.440
 my wife just really

00:30:31.440 --> 00:30:32.200
 helps me with this.

00:30:32.539 --> 00:30:33.080
 Because sometimes

00:30:33.080 --> 00:30:34.059
 I think I'm just

00:30:34.059 --> 00:30:34.620
 being honest

00:30:34.620 --> 00:30:35.220
 and my wife says,

00:30:35.480 --> 00:30:35.820
 hey, you know,

00:30:35.920 --> 00:30:37.059
 that sounds really harsh.

00:30:39.180 --> 00:30:41.559
 And here's something

00:30:41.559 --> 00:30:42.480
 I think all of us

00:30:42.480 --> 00:30:43.000
 need to do.

00:30:43.080 --> 00:30:43.920
 If you want to

00:30:43.920 --> 00:30:44.519
 really work

00:30:44.519 --> 00:30:45.000
 in a deep

00:30:45.000 --> 00:30:45.900
 heart repentance

00:30:45.900 --> 00:30:46.880
 in your life,

00:30:47.360 --> 00:30:48.039
 let me ask you

00:30:48.039 --> 00:30:48.539
 to do something

00:30:48.539 --> 00:30:49.339
 which is painful.

00:30:52.019 --> 00:30:52.980
 Repentance requires

00:30:52.980 --> 00:30:53.980
 you to hate your sin

00:30:53.980 --> 00:30:54.379
 and to hate

00:30:54.379 --> 00:30:55.220
 the consequences.

00:30:56.019 --> 00:30:57.539
 So ask your spouse,

00:30:58.079 --> 00:30:59.279
 ask a good friend,

00:30:59.799 --> 00:31:00.639
 ask even your

00:31:00.639 --> 00:31:01.480
 older children,

00:31:02.240 --> 00:31:03.220
 when I speak,

00:31:04.159 --> 00:31:05.099
 how does it sound

00:31:05.099 --> 00:31:05.539
 to you?

00:31:06.700 --> 00:31:08.200
 How do I come across?

00:31:09.940 --> 00:31:10.980
 And be ready

00:31:10.980 --> 00:31:13.099
 for whatever comes back.

00:31:13.799 --> 00:31:14.440
 Without trying

00:31:14.440 --> 00:31:15.399
 to justify yourself,

00:31:15.480 --> 00:31:15.839
 without trying

00:31:15.839 --> 00:31:17.000
 to defend yourself,

00:31:17.000 --> 00:31:20.180
 because that may be

00:31:20.180 --> 00:31:20.819
 the most useful

00:31:20.819 --> 00:31:21.940
 feedback you get

00:31:21.940 --> 00:31:23.400
 to lead you

00:31:23.400 --> 00:31:24.380
 to really understanding

00:31:24.380 --> 00:31:25.500
 how much you need Jesus.

00:31:28.619 --> 00:31:29.099
 Because

00:31:29.099 --> 00:31:30.660
 if you go back

00:31:30.660 --> 00:31:31.339
 to the diagram,

00:31:31.539 --> 00:31:32.119
 you saw

00:31:32.119 --> 00:31:33.640
 that when we run

00:31:33.640 --> 00:31:34.819
 back to the cross,

00:31:36.440 --> 00:31:37.960
 and we receive

00:31:37.960 --> 00:31:38.720
 his forgiveness,

00:31:39.240 --> 00:31:39.680
 the words

00:31:39.680 --> 00:31:41.220
 he speaks over us

00:31:41.220 --> 00:31:42.079
 are the words

00:31:42.079 --> 00:31:43.480
 that God speaks over,

00:31:43.920 --> 00:31:45.480
 his father spoke over him,

00:31:45.480 --> 00:31:46.960
 you are my beloved son

00:31:46.960 --> 00:31:48.539
 or my beloved daughter.

00:31:49.440 --> 00:31:50.120
 With you

00:31:50.120 --> 00:31:51.299
 I am well pleased.

00:31:52.360 --> 00:31:53.220
 Not well pleased

00:31:53.220 --> 00:31:54.019
 because of your word,

00:31:54.120 --> 00:31:54.819
 but well pleased

00:31:54.819 --> 00:31:55.779
 because you're mine.

00:31:57.339 --> 00:31:58.240
 And I've given you

00:31:58.240 --> 00:31:58.700
 everything

00:31:58.700 --> 00:32:00.120
 for you to get back up

00:32:00.120 --> 00:32:01.019
 and for you to live

00:32:01.019 --> 00:32:02.460
 a life that pleases me.

00:32:04.700 --> 00:32:06.099
 The fruit of our words

00:32:06.099 --> 00:32:08.420
 comes out of our hearts,

00:32:09.059 --> 00:32:09.900
 but the healing

00:32:09.900 --> 00:32:10.779
 of our words

00:32:10.779 --> 00:32:12.120
 comes out

00:32:12.120 --> 00:32:13.420
 of knowing the gospel,

00:32:13.420 --> 00:32:14.640
 walking back

00:32:14.640 --> 00:32:15.340
 in repentance

00:32:15.340 --> 00:32:16.940
 again and again,

00:32:18.180 --> 00:32:19.039
 massaging it

00:32:19.039 --> 00:32:19.980
 into our lives.

00:32:20.900 --> 00:32:21.720
 Over time,

00:32:21.800 --> 00:32:22.779
 we will be sweetened

00:32:22.779 --> 00:32:23.440
 in our tongues.

00:32:25.840 --> 00:32:26.779
 So let me come on

00:32:26.779 --> 00:32:27.660
 to our final point.

00:32:30.940 --> 00:32:32.160
 Because as God works

00:32:32.160 --> 00:32:32.900
 that work

00:32:32.900 --> 00:32:33.600
 in your own heart,

00:32:33.660 --> 00:32:34.340
 what he wants to do

00:32:34.340 --> 00:32:35.519
 is he wants to use us

00:32:35.519 --> 00:32:36.500
 and to have words

00:32:36.500 --> 00:32:37.220
 which actually bring

00:32:37.220 --> 00:32:38.519
 healing to others.

00:32:38.519 --> 00:32:44.900
 Proverbs 15

00:32:44.900 --> 00:32:46.819
 verse 4

00:32:46.819 --> 00:32:47.559
 says this.

00:32:49.220 --> 00:32:50.440
 A gentle tongue

00:32:50.440 --> 00:32:52.680
 is a tree of life.

00:32:54.900 --> 00:32:55.940
 A gentle tongue

00:32:55.940 --> 00:32:56.859
 is a tree of life.

00:32:56.920 --> 00:32:57.440
 And you look through

00:32:57.440 --> 00:32:58.299
 some of the other passages

00:32:58.299 --> 00:32:59.019
 you'll say it says

00:32:59.019 --> 00:33:00.400
 gracious words.

00:33:01.019 --> 00:33:01.879
 Gracious words

00:33:01.879 --> 00:33:03.980
 are just like honeycomb.

00:33:04.400 --> 00:33:05.980
 It says they're sweet

00:33:05.980 --> 00:33:06.740
 to the soul,

00:33:06.839 --> 00:33:07.319
 they're health

00:33:07.319 --> 00:33:07.819
 to the body.

00:33:07.919 --> 00:33:08.439
 You see this,

00:33:08.879 --> 00:33:10.539
 your words can be used

00:33:10.539 --> 00:33:11.740
 in an amazingly

00:33:11.740 --> 00:33:12.939
 powerful way

00:33:12.939 --> 00:33:13.919
 to bring healing.

00:33:15.279 --> 00:33:16.240
 Because when you hear

00:33:16.240 --> 00:33:16.639
 that word

00:33:16.639 --> 00:33:17.519
 the tree of life,

00:33:17.599 --> 00:33:18.679
 where does that come from?

00:33:20.859 --> 00:33:21.779
 Where does it come from?

00:33:23.099 --> 00:33:24.119
 Not a trick question.

00:33:25.439 --> 00:33:26.179
 Tree of life,

00:33:26.240 --> 00:33:26.779
 where was that?

00:33:28.419 --> 00:33:29.220
 Garden of Eden,

00:33:29.939 --> 00:33:30.220
 right?

00:33:30.700 --> 00:33:31.559
 Garden of Eden.

00:33:32.200 --> 00:33:32.859
 God put

00:33:32.859 --> 00:33:34.500
 put the tree

00:33:34.500 --> 00:33:35.339
 of life there

00:33:35.339 --> 00:33:36.159
 for us to eat

00:33:36.159 --> 00:33:36.679
 from it

00:33:36.679 --> 00:33:37.919
 and to be refreshed

00:33:37.919 --> 00:33:38.599
 in our relationship

00:33:38.599 --> 00:33:39.019
 with God

00:33:39.019 --> 00:33:39.579
 and our relationship

00:33:39.579 --> 00:33:40.119
 with the others

00:33:40.119 --> 00:33:40.599
 but we chose

00:33:40.599 --> 00:33:41.379
 not to eat from it.

00:33:42.419 --> 00:33:43.579
 If you go all the way

00:33:43.579 --> 00:33:44.679
 through to the end

00:33:44.679 --> 00:33:45.479
 of the Bible story,

00:33:45.579 --> 00:33:46.679
 the very last chapter

00:33:46.679 --> 00:33:47.259
 of the Bible,

00:33:47.359 --> 00:33:47.979
 do you know what's there?

00:33:49.099 --> 00:33:50.179
 Last chapter of the Bible

00:33:50.179 --> 00:33:52.079
 is the tree of life.

00:33:53.259 --> 00:33:54.659
 And that tree of life

00:33:54.659 --> 00:33:56.299
 is bearing fruit

00:33:56.299 --> 00:33:57.000
 and its leaves

00:33:57.000 --> 00:33:57.740
 are for the healing

00:33:57.740 --> 00:33:58.399
 of the nations.

00:33:58.400 --> 00:34:01.200
 What he's saying is

00:34:01.200 --> 00:34:02.759
 and Proverbs is saying

00:34:02.759 --> 00:34:03.500
 if you choose

00:34:03.500 --> 00:34:04.740
 gentleness and grace

00:34:04.740 --> 00:34:05.759
 instead of anger,

00:34:06.300 --> 00:34:07.220
 you can be part

00:34:07.220 --> 00:34:09.559
 of God's restoring process,

00:34:09.980 --> 00:34:11.800
 his great restoring work

00:34:11.800 --> 00:34:12.400
 that he's doing

00:34:12.400 --> 00:34:13.200
 in this world

00:34:13.200 --> 00:34:14.119
 and you can be

00:34:14.119 --> 00:34:15.160
 an instrument of healing

00:34:15.160 --> 00:34:15.700
 in the lives

00:34:15.700 --> 00:34:16.400
 of other people.

00:34:18.780 --> 00:34:19.420
 And you know

00:34:19.420 --> 00:34:20.180
 it all can begin

00:34:20.180 --> 00:34:20.940
 with your tongue.

00:34:22.119 --> 00:34:22.639
 It's amazing.

00:34:24.780 --> 00:34:25.639
 So I want to get

00:34:25.639 --> 00:34:26.300
 kind of practical

00:34:26.300 --> 00:34:27.340
 about a couple of things.

00:34:29.400 --> 00:34:30.760
 Because as we think about

00:34:30.760 --> 00:34:31.220
 what does it mean

00:34:31.220 --> 00:34:32.139
 to have gentle words?

00:34:32.200 --> 00:34:32.559
 What does it mean

00:34:32.559 --> 00:34:33.780
 to have gracious words?

00:34:34.980 --> 00:34:36.139
 There's a couple of areas

00:34:36.139 --> 00:34:36.880
 where I just want to

00:34:36.880 --> 00:34:38.280
 kind of briefly talk about.

00:34:38.960 --> 00:34:41.460
 And actually, Fiona,

00:34:41.519 --> 00:34:42.280
 if you could bring up

00:34:42.280 --> 00:34:44.639
 two books that I have there.

00:34:45.079 --> 00:34:46.099
 We have outside

00:34:46.099 --> 00:34:46.860
 just a few books

00:34:46.860 --> 00:34:47.360
 that I,

00:34:47.800 --> 00:34:48.619
 a couple of books

00:34:48.619 --> 00:34:49.480
 that I want you to,

00:34:50.320 --> 00:34:51.260
 sorry, just take those.

00:34:51.539 --> 00:34:51.700
 Thanks.

00:34:52.420 --> 00:34:53.260
 A couple of books

00:34:53.260 --> 00:34:54.539
 that I want to recommend.

00:34:55.000 --> 00:34:55.619
 If you think,

00:34:55.740 --> 00:34:56.639
 actually I have an issue

00:34:56.639 --> 00:34:57.220
 with this.

00:34:57.579 --> 00:34:58.139
 There's two books.

00:34:58.139 --> 00:34:58.579
 One is called

00:34:58.579 --> 00:34:59.440
 A War of Words

00:34:59.440 --> 00:35:00.659
 and another called

00:35:00.659 --> 00:35:02.159
 is Practicing Affirmation.

00:35:02.319 --> 00:35:03.400
 They are excellent books.

00:35:03.460 --> 00:35:04.500
 I encourage you to get them.

00:35:04.559 --> 00:35:05.000
 There's only about

00:35:05.000 --> 00:35:05.819
 three or four copies

00:35:05.819 --> 00:35:06.900
 so rush out and get them

00:35:06.900 --> 00:35:07.940
 before someone else does.

00:35:09.099 --> 00:35:09.859
 But I encourage you

00:35:09.859 --> 00:35:10.219
 to do that.

00:35:10.279 --> 00:35:11.179
 But here is what I want to,

00:35:12.500 --> 00:35:13.219
 as you on go

00:35:13.219 --> 00:35:14.079
 in this conversation

00:35:14.079 --> 00:35:14.779
 and thinking about it,

00:35:14.799 --> 00:35:15.379
 but I'm just going to

00:35:15.379 --> 00:35:16.000
 briefly mention

00:35:16.000 --> 00:35:16.719
 a couple of things.

00:35:18.719 --> 00:35:19.379
 God's grace

00:35:19.379 --> 00:35:20.239
 and healing words

00:35:20.239 --> 00:35:21.579
 work through affirmation,

00:35:22.279 --> 00:35:22.779
 encouraging,

00:35:23.139 --> 00:35:24.019
 building others up,

00:35:24.019 --> 00:35:25.800
 and through correction

00:35:25.800 --> 00:35:26.780
 or rebuke.

00:35:26.880 --> 00:35:27.800
 You notice in Proverbs

00:35:27.800 --> 00:35:28.880
 it talks about both,

00:35:29.139 --> 00:35:31.099
 rebuke and affirmation

00:35:31.099 --> 00:35:31.900
 and grace.

00:35:33.239 --> 00:35:33.679
 You see,

00:35:34.500 --> 00:35:35.360
 affirmation

00:35:35.360 --> 00:35:36.860
 is binding up,

00:35:37.059 --> 00:35:38.099
 building up,

00:35:38.259 --> 00:35:39.360
 healing the wounds.

00:35:39.920 --> 00:35:40.400
 Correction

00:35:40.400 --> 00:35:42.280
 is like a surgeon's scalpel

00:35:42.280 --> 00:35:43.420
 which is taking out

00:35:43.420 --> 00:35:44.300
 some of the rubbish

00:35:44.300 --> 00:35:45.619
 so that you can be healed,

00:35:45.900 --> 00:35:46.980
 but both are needed.

00:35:46.980 --> 00:35:48.780
 And the goal

00:35:48.780 --> 00:35:49.659
 of both of these

00:35:49.659 --> 00:35:50.380
 with our tongues

00:35:50.380 --> 00:35:51.800
 is to help others

00:35:51.800 --> 00:35:53.139
 to move towards Jesus,

00:35:53.559 --> 00:35:54.679
 not to try and just

00:35:54.679 --> 00:35:55.440
 help people to feel

00:35:55.440 --> 00:35:56.519
 better about themselves,

00:35:56.840 --> 00:35:58.079
 not just to try and fix

00:35:58.079 --> 00:35:59.280
 people with their problems.

00:36:00.519 --> 00:36:01.159
 So here's something

00:36:01.159 --> 00:36:02.099
 I want us to think about.

00:36:02.800 --> 00:36:05.079
 Christ-centered affirmation

00:36:05.079 --> 00:36:07.059
 focuses more on

00:36:07.059 --> 00:36:08.579
 internal character

00:36:08.579 --> 00:36:10.159
 than external performance.

00:36:11.539 --> 00:36:11.880
 So if you wanted

00:36:11.880 --> 00:36:12.980
 to build somebody up,

00:36:13.380 --> 00:36:13.519
 you know,

00:36:13.579 --> 00:36:14.440
 if the only things

00:36:14.440 --> 00:36:15.800
 you affirm somebody for

00:36:15.800 --> 00:36:17.660
 are how nice their hair is

00:36:17.660 --> 00:36:18.940
 or how well they did

00:36:18.940 --> 00:36:19.460
 on the grades,

00:36:19.500 --> 00:36:20.720
 if that's the only thing

00:36:20.720 --> 00:36:22.019
 you affirm them for,

00:36:22.280 --> 00:36:23.140
 what's the culture

00:36:23.140 --> 00:36:23.740
 you're sowing?

00:36:24.640 --> 00:36:26.019
 You're sowing a culture

00:36:26.019 --> 00:36:27.280
 that sees performance

00:36:27.280 --> 00:36:28.080
 and appearance

00:36:28.080 --> 00:36:29.539
 as the most valuable things.

00:36:31.940 --> 00:36:32.420
 But

00:36:32.420 --> 00:36:35.380
 if you sow a culture

00:36:35.380 --> 00:36:36.080
 which focuses on

00:36:36.080 --> 00:36:37.220
 Christ-like character

00:36:37.220 --> 00:36:38.320
 and encourages them that,

00:36:38.519 --> 00:36:39.300
 then that is going to be

00:36:39.300 --> 00:36:40.200
 the fruit of what

00:36:40.200 --> 00:36:40.880
 you're going to be

00:36:40.880 --> 00:36:41.780
 cultivating.

00:36:42.340 --> 00:36:42.580
 You see,

00:36:42.660 --> 00:36:43.440
 when my wife

00:36:43.440 --> 00:36:46.179
 is gracious to me

00:36:46.179 --> 00:36:46.720
 when I'm being

00:36:46.720 --> 00:36:47.720
 a complete idiot,

00:36:49.720 --> 00:36:51.099
 I often say to her,

00:36:51.179 --> 00:36:51.880
 thank you for being

00:36:51.880 --> 00:36:53.000
 so gracious to me.

00:36:53.619 --> 00:36:55.519
 I see God working in you.

00:36:56.920 --> 00:36:58.559
 And she does the same to me.

00:37:00.139 --> 00:37:00.880
 And you know,

00:37:01.039 --> 00:37:02.039
 what's the kind of culture

00:37:02.039 --> 00:37:02.639
 that you think

00:37:02.639 --> 00:37:03.800
 if we have that kind

00:37:03.800 --> 00:37:04.840
 of affirmation

00:37:04.840 --> 00:37:05.840
 in our relationships,

00:37:06.039 --> 00:37:06.700
 what culture

00:37:06.700 --> 00:37:07.460
 will that reproduce?

00:37:07.460 --> 00:37:09.980
 over time,

00:37:10.740 --> 00:37:12.019
 it's more likely

00:37:12.019 --> 00:37:12.639
 to produce

00:37:12.639 --> 00:37:13.579
 a Christ-honoring,

00:37:14.000 --> 00:37:14.800
 life-giving,

00:37:15.099 --> 00:37:16.139
 refreshing one

00:37:16.139 --> 00:37:17.420
 where we're pursuing

00:37:17.420 --> 00:37:18.559
 Christ and His grace

00:37:18.559 --> 00:37:18.980
 together.

00:37:20.220 --> 00:37:21.440
 That's not a guaranteed

00:37:21.440 --> 00:37:22.659
 return, okay?

00:37:23.079 --> 00:37:24.139
 So be careful.

00:37:24.380 --> 00:37:25.720
 Don't use affirmation

00:37:25.720 --> 00:37:27.000
 as a manipulation tool

00:37:27.000 --> 00:37:27.900
 to get what you want.

00:37:29.260 --> 00:37:30.019
 That's, you know,

00:37:30.099 --> 00:37:31.480
 that's called flattery.

00:37:31.920 --> 00:37:32.119
 You know,

00:37:32.300 --> 00:37:32.860
 don't you say,

00:37:32.980 --> 00:37:33.940
 okay, thank you

00:37:33.940 --> 00:37:35.159
 for I just see

00:37:35.159 --> 00:37:36.360
 God's servant heart

00:37:36.360 --> 00:37:37.519
 in you and just the way

00:37:37.519 --> 00:37:38.760
 you serve me is amazing.

00:37:39.220 --> 00:37:40.380
 And when's dinner ready?

00:37:41.280 --> 00:37:42.039
 Don't do that.

00:37:42.120 --> 00:37:43.220
 Don't go there, okay?

00:37:43.420 --> 00:37:44.019
 That's what you do

00:37:44.019 --> 00:37:45.079
 to your boss, right?

00:37:45.200 --> 00:37:45.700
 Because you want

00:37:45.700 --> 00:37:47.340
 to get promotion, okay?

00:37:48.180 --> 00:37:48.860
 That's not what

00:37:48.860 --> 00:37:49.660
 we're talking about.

00:37:49.880 --> 00:37:50.820
 But if you affirm

00:37:50.820 --> 00:37:51.480
 God's grace

00:37:51.480 --> 00:37:52.400
 in someone's life,

00:37:52.480 --> 00:37:52.920
 where you see,

00:37:52.980 --> 00:37:53.559
 and you give God

00:37:53.559 --> 00:37:54.420
 credit for you,

00:37:54.480 --> 00:37:55.400
 where you see them serving,

00:37:55.740 --> 00:37:56.920
 where you see them persevering,

00:37:57.160 --> 00:37:57.860
 where you see them

00:37:57.860 --> 00:37:58.680
 doing things

00:37:58.680 --> 00:37:59.180
 which you think

00:37:59.180 --> 00:38:00.740
 that is honoring to Christ,

00:38:01.160 --> 00:38:02.260
 point it out to them.

00:38:03.200 --> 00:38:04.320
 Point it out to them.

00:38:04.320 --> 00:38:07.140
 That's not puffing people up,

00:38:07.220 --> 00:38:08.080
 that's encouraging people

00:38:08.080 --> 00:38:08.620
 to godliness.

00:38:11.039 --> 00:38:11.840
 And you know,

00:38:12.980 --> 00:38:14.700
 the danger of affirmation

00:38:14.700 --> 00:38:16.280
 is we become flatterers

00:38:16.280 --> 00:38:17.559
 because it actually

00:38:17.559 --> 00:38:18.480
 becomes all about ourselves

00:38:18.480 --> 00:38:19.039
 because we were like

00:38:19.039 --> 00:38:19.440
 someone to say,

00:38:19.519 --> 00:38:20.000
 oh, you're lovely,

00:38:20.120 --> 00:38:20.539
 and then someone to say,

00:38:20.580 --> 00:38:21.059
 oh, you're lovely,

00:38:21.100 --> 00:38:21.580
 and we're all kind of

00:38:21.580 --> 00:38:22.220
 lovely together.

00:38:23.880 --> 00:38:24.200
 Right?

00:38:24.840 --> 00:38:26.780
 That is not Christ-centeredness.

00:38:26.860 --> 00:38:27.700
 Christ-centeredness

00:38:27.700 --> 00:38:29.160
 also means

00:38:29.160 --> 00:38:30.800
 that while I affirm,

00:38:30.940 --> 00:38:31.640
 I'm also willing

00:38:31.640 --> 00:38:32.320
 to correct.

00:38:32.320 --> 00:38:34.160
 And some of us,

00:38:34.220 --> 00:38:36.100
 I notice in our relationships,

00:38:37.760 --> 00:38:39.280
 people you're closest to,

00:38:39.400 --> 00:38:40.900
 often you're more willing

00:38:40.900 --> 00:38:42.320
 to correct them,

00:38:42.960 --> 00:38:43.680
 right,

00:38:43.880 --> 00:38:44.920
 than to affirm them.

00:38:45.059 --> 00:38:45.960
 And people who are maybe

00:38:45.960 --> 00:38:46.559
 in the church

00:38:46.559 --> 00:38:47.700
 you don't know quite so well,

00:38:47.900 --> 00:38:48.720
 you're sometimes more willing

00:38:48.720 --> 00:38:49.760
 to affirm them

00:38:49.760 --> 00:38:50.580
 a little bit,

00:38:50.960 --> 00:38:52.200
 sometimes superficially,

00:38:52.460 --> 00:38:53.140
 but we're not willing

00:38:53.140 --> 00:38:54.240
 to correct people

00:38:54.240 --> 00:38:55.420
 so much graciously

00:38:55.420 --> 00:38:57.120
 because we struggle with that.

00:38:57.119 --> 00:38:59.859
 But you know,

00:39:00.759 --> 00:39:01.880
 in relationships

00:39:01.880 --> 00:39:02.759
 where we're walking

00:39:02.759 --> 00:39:03.940
 alongside each other,

00:39:04.319 --> 00:39:05.779
 the people who have loved me

00:39:05.779 --> 00:39:06.400
 the most

00:39:06.400 --> 00:39:07.779
 have been those people

00:39:07.779 --> 00:39:08.299
 who've been willing

00:39:08.299 --> 00:39:09.159
 to come to me

00:39:09.159 --> 00:39:10.500
 when I'm being selfish,

00:39:10.719 --> 00:39:11.699
 when I'm saying things

00:39:11.699 --> 00:39:13.579
 which are just not great,

00:39:13.940 --> 00:39:15.339
 when my tone is wrong,

00:39:15.400 --> 00:39:16.099
 and they come to me

00:39:16.099 --> 00:39:17.420
 and say things like,

00:39:17.639 --> 00:39:18.119
 hey, Chris,

00:39:18.159 --> 00:39:19.359
 I noticed you said that.

00:39:21.199 --> 00:39:22.039
 I'm not sure,

00:39:22.159 --> 00:39:22.339
 like,

00:39:22.440 --> 00:39:23.039
 I'm sure you've got

00:39:23.039 --> 00:39:23.719
 a reason for it,

00:39:23.759 --> 00:39:24.599
 but I'd love to hear,

00:39:24.659 --> 00:39:24.759
 like,

00:39:24.799 --> 00:39:25.619
 what was going on there.

00:39:25.619 --> 00:39:27.880
 They're not coming

00:39:27.880 --> 00:39:29.039
 to attack me,

00:39:29.099 --> 00:39:29.579
 they're not coming

00:39:29.579 --> 00:39:31.500
 to try and get their own way,

00:39:31.559 --> 00:39:32.579
 to just change me.

00:39:32.639 --> 00:39:33.440
 What they're trying to do

00:39:33.440 --> 00:39:33.940
 is they're trying

00:39:33.940 --> 00:39:34.900
 to listen to me,

00:39:35.019 --> 00:39:36.380
 but help to point me

00:39:36.380 --> 00:39:37.199
 towards Christ.

00:39:38.480 --> 00:39:39.960
 And sometimes that's a risk

00:39:39.960 --> 00:39:40.779
 because sometimes

00:39:40.779 --> 00:39:42.480
 they risk me being angry

00:39:42.480 --> 00:39:43.400
 at them.

00:39:44.359 --> 00:39:45.639
 But they love me enough

00:39:45.639 --> 00:39:47.019
 not to condemn me

00:39:47.019 --> 00:39:47.900
 or judge me,

00:39:48.420 --> 00:39:49.039
 but to help me

00:39:49.039 --> 00:39:50.299
 move towards Christ.

00:39:50.719 --> 00:39:51.059
 I wonder,

00:39:51.179 --> 00:39:51.739
 do you do that

00:39:51.739 --> 00:39:52.480
 with other people

00:39:52.480 --> 00:39:54.299
 in grace and kindness?

00:39:55.619 --> 00:39:58.299
 Because that's where

00:39:58.299 --> 00:39:59.079
 healing comes,

00:39:59.139 --> 00:40:00.079
 through affirmation

00:40:00.079 --> 00:40:01.460
 and through correction.

00:40:01.920 --> 00:40:03.119
 But here's one of the things

00:40:03.119 --> 00:40:03.819
 that I've noticed.

00:40:05.000 --> 00:40:05.659
 One of the things

00:40:05.659 --> 00:40:06.779
 about when you get married,

00:40:06.859 --> 00:40:07.920
 or before you get married,

00:40:08.000 --> 00:40:08.279
 actually,

00:40:08.639 --> 00:40:10.480
 is we're often very good

00:40:10.480 --> 00:40:12.199
 at seeing all the great qualities

00:40:12.199 --> 00:40:13.259
 in our future spouse.

00:40:14.539 --> 00:40:14.719
 Okay?

00:40:15.019 --> 00:40:15.599
 You know,

00:40:15.759 --> 00:40:16.940
 even the negative ones

00:40:16.940 --> 00:40:17.920
 you tend to gloss over

00:40:17.920 --> 00:40:18.380
 a little bit.

00:40:18.480 --> 00:40:18.679
 You know,

00:40:18.759 --> 00:40:19.980
 they talk a lot,

00:40:20.059 --> 00:40:20.339
 but hey,

00:40:20.380 --> 00:40:21.119
 that's cute.

00:40:21.579 --> 00:40:21.799
 You know,

00:40:21.799 --> 00:40:22.900
 they're really laid back

00:40:22.900 --> 00:40:24.960
 or they're more organized

00:40:24.960 --> 00:40:25.320
 than me,

00:40:25.400 --> 00:40:25.680
 but hey,

00:40:25.720 --> 00:40:26.500
 I like that.

00:40:26.660 --> 00:40:27.860
 And then you get married.

00:40:29.780 --> 00:40:30.639
 And then,

00:40:30.820 --> 00:40:31.860
 after a short while,

00:40:32.019 --> 00:40:33.240
 you begin to start seeing

00:40:33.240 --> 00:40:34.039
 the whole

00:40:34.039 --> 00:40:35.300
 more than the doughnuts.

00:40:35.720 --> 00:40:36.440
 You begin to see

00:40:36.440 --> 00:40:37.440
 all that's missing

00:40:37.440 --> 00:40:39.240
 more than what is actually there.

00:40:39.619 --> 00:40:39.940
 Right?

00:40:40.079 --> 00:40:40.700
 You know what I mean?

00:40:42.539 --> 00:40:44.380
 And the tendency

00:40:44.380 --> 00:40:45.360
 is to see all the faults

00:40:45.360 --> 00:40:45.860
 and then to try

00:40:45.860 --> 00:40:46.800
 and correct everything.

00:40:48.599 --> 00:40:48.900
 Okay?

00:40:49.480 --> 00:40:50.720
 And what we don't realize,

00:40:50.719 --> 00:40:51.480
 is that affirmation

00:40:51.480 --> 00:40:52.119
 and correction,

00:40:52.339 --> 00:40:53.000
 whether it's in a marriage,

00:40:53.099 --> 00:40:53.699
 whether it's in a CIG,

00:40:53.899 --> 00:40:54.719
 actually works like

00:40:54.719 --> 00:40:55.399
 a bank account.

00:40:56.939 --> 00:40:57.759
 Every correction

00:40:57.759 --> 00:40:58.500
 is a withdrawal.

00:40:58.799 --> 00:40:59.679
 Every affirmation

00:40:59.679 --> 00:41:00.399
 is a deposit,

00:41:00.719 --> 00:41:02.099
 but it's not a one-on-one ratio.

00:41:04.059 --> 00:41:04.419
 Because,

00:41:04.980 --> 00:41:06.319
 if I say to my wife,

00:41:07.039 --> 00:41:07.219
 hey,

00:41:07.619 --> 00:41:09.099
 I really appreciate you

00:41:09.099 --> 00:41:10.099
 cooking for me tonight,

00:41:10.799 --> 00:41:11.859
 but don't cook the chicken

00:41:11.859 --> 00:41:12.679
 like that ever again.

00:41:16.319 --> 00:41:17.359
 What have they heard?

00:41:18.199 --> 00:41:19.039
 What do they hear?

00:41:19.039 --> 00:41:21.880
 They only heard correction.

00:41:22.699 --> 00:41:23.000
 Right?

00:41:23.219 --> 00:41:24.199
 It's not one-on-one.

00:41:25.840 --> 00:41:26.500
 You see,

00:41:28.039 --> 00:41:30.360
 what we need to do is,

00:41:30.460 --> 00:41:31.279
 and sometimes we get

00:41:31.279 --> 00:41:31.980
 into the habit of saying,

00:41:32.219 --> 00:41:32.460
 yeah, well,

00:41:32.480 --> 00:41:33.440
 I said something nice to them

00:41:33.440 --> 00:41:33.880
 and then we said

00:41:33.880 --> 00:41:34.500
 something harsh to them

00:41:34.500 --> 00:41:34.759
 and we think,

00:41:35.039 --> 00:41:35.960
 yeah, but I said it nice

00:41:35.960 --> 00:41:36.519
 to you yesterday

00:41:36.519 --> 00:41:37.559
 and we don't realize

00:41:37.559 --> 00:41:38.159
 if you haven't got

00:41:38.159 --> 00:41:39.239
 the ratio right,

00:41:39.440 --> 00:41:40.659
 you'll get into overdraft

00:41:40.659 --> 00:41:41.380
 in your relationship.

00:41:44.340 --> 00:41:45.639
 And they say

00:41:45.639 --> 00:41:46.380
 that three to ten

00:41:46.380 --> 00:41:47.099
 affirmations

00:41:47.099 --> 00:41:48.139
 to every correction

00:41:48.139 --> 00:41:49.119
 is the right ratio

00:41:49.119 --> 00:41:50.279
 depending on the health

00:41:50.279 --> 00:41:50.980
 of your relationship.

00:41:53.960 --> 00:41:54.759
 How you doing?

00:41:57.199 --> 00:41:58.619
 And the crazy thing is,

00:41:58.839 --> 00:42:00.519
 if you get that ratio wrong,

00:42:00.960 --> 00:42:01.659
 your kids

00:42:01.659 --> 00:42:02.699
 or your spouse

00:42:02.699 --> 00:42:03.920
 or your CG members

00:42:03.920 --> 00:42:04.739
 will very soon

00:42:04.739 --> 00:42:06.079
 tune out to your correction.

00:42:06.920 --> 00:42:07.539
 You notice that?

00:42:08.259 --> 00:42:08.500
 You know,

00:42:08.559 --> 00:42:09.940
 I had a woman

00:42:09.940 --> 00:42:10.579
 come up to me

00:42:10.579 --> 00:42:11.159
 after a sermon

00:42:11.159 --> 00:42:12.400
 I preached a long time ago.

00:42:12.880 --> 00:42:13.460
 Not here.

00:42:14.039 --> 00:42:15.259
 So don't start looking around.

00:42:15.360 --> 00:42:16.079
 See who this is.

00:42:16.079 --> 00:42:19.380
 And she said to me,

00:42:19.739 --> 00:42:20.639
 first thing,

00:42:20.699 --> 00:42:21.440
 she comes straight up to me

00:42:21.440 --> 00:42:21.759
 and says,

00:42:22.000 --> 00:42:23.519
 you know your sermon,

00:42:23.599 --> 00:42:24.579
 you totally misrepresented

00:42:24.579 --> 00:42:25.299
 that person there.

00:42:26.840 --> 00:42:27.519
 And I was like,

00:42:27.900 --> 00:42:28.579
 oh, thank you.

00:42:29.000 --> 00:42:29.779
 Thank you for the love.

00:42:30.139 --> 00:42:30.880
 I appreciate that.

00:42:31.440 --> 00:42:32.059
 But, you know,

00:42:32.139 --> 00:42:33.539
 I completely ignored

00:42:33.539 --> 00:42:34.039
 everything,

00:42:34.340 --> 00:42:35.559
 like legitimate criticism

00:42:35.559 --> 00:42:37.119
 that she may have had of me

00:42:37.119 --> 00:42:38.559
 because I just thought

00:42:38.559 --> 00:42:39.119
 she was negative.

00:42:41.219 --> 00:42:41.619
 Now,

00:42:42.259 --> 00:42:43.019
 for someone

00:42:43.019 --> 00:42:44.759
 I know is for me

00:42:44.760 --> 00:42:45.840
 and has a track record

00:42:45.840 --> 00:42:47.160
 of just encouraging me.

00:42:47.900 --> 00:42:48.780
 They can tell me

00:42:48.780 --> 00:42:49.600
 pretty much anything

00:42:49.600 --> 00:42:50.100
 they like

00:42:50.100 --> 00:42:51.180
 and I'm more likely

00:42:51.180 --> 00:42:52.300
 to listen to them

00:42:52.300 --> 00:42:53.180
 because I know

00:42:53.180 --> 00:42:53.980
 that they're for me.

00:42:55.120 --> 00:42:56.200
 That's the culture

00:42:56.200 --> 00:42:57.260
 we need in our marriages,

00:42:57.640 --> 00:42:58.500
 in our families,

00:42:58.920 --> 00:43:00.140
 in our church,

00:43:00.240 --> 00:43:01.040
 in our communities.

00:43:01.780 --> 00:43:02.440
 We're not afraid

00:43:02.440 --> 00:43:03.220
 to correct,

00:43:04.220 --> 00:43:05.740
 but we do it

00:43:05.740 --> 00:43:06.760
 out of a culture

00:43:06.760 --> 00:43:07.760
 of affirmation.

00:43:07.760 --> 00:43:11.180
 But here's

00:43:11.180 --> 00:43:13.340
 the final thing

00:43:13.340 --> 00:43:14.300
 I want to talk us about

00:43:14.300 --> 00:43:16.420
 because I want us

00:43:16.420 --> 00:43:16.900
 to think about

00:43:16.900 --> 00:43:18.080
 how our ratio is doing.

00:43:21.500 --> 00:43:23.020
 If we really believe

00:43:23.020 --> 00:43:24.740
 the gospel is powerful,

00:43:25.740 --> 00:43:27.160
 enough to change

00:43:27.160 --> 00:43:27.920
 our hearts,

00:43:28.460 --> 00:43:29.940
 to sweeten our tongues,

00:43:30.380 --> 00:43:32.500
 to win this war of words,

00:43:33.780 --> 00:43:34.880
 then we need to be

00:43:34.880 --> 00:43:35.619
 a community

00:43:35.619 --> 00:43:37.700
 whose affirmations

00:43:37.700 --> 00:43:38.880
 and corrections

00:43:38.880 --> 00:43:39.780
 are fueled

00:43:39.780 --> 00:43:40.619
 by the gospel.

00:43:42.940 --> 00:43:43.780
 So often

00:43:43.780 --> 00:43:44.800
 in Christian community

00:43:44.800 --> 00:43:45.440
 we talk about

00:43:45.440 --> 00:43:46.360
 things like accountability

00:43:46.360 --> 00:43:47.960
 and what that means

00:43:47.960 --> 00:43:48.720
 is checking

00:43:48.720 --> 00:43:49.519
 whether you produce

00:43:49.519 --> 00:43:50.340
 the fruit or not.

00:43:51.619 --> 00:43:52.940
 And basically,

00:43:53.240 --> 00:43:53.780
 what do we do?

00:43:53.840 --> 00:43:54.480
 We do things like,

00:43:54.680 --> 00:43:55.340
 hey, did you shout

00:43:55.340 --> 00:43:56.160
 at your kids this week?

00:43:56.200 --> 00:43:56.559
 And you're like,

00:43:56.660 --> 00:43:57.180
 yes.

00:43:57.740 --> 00:43:58.500
 And then you're like,

00:43:58.559 --> 00:43:58.940
 okay,

00:43:59.240 --> 00:43:59.700
 okay,

00:43:59.740 --> 00:44:00.420
 have you said sorry?

00:44:00.760 --> 00:44:01.160
 Yes.

00:44:01.420 --> 00:44:02.079
 And then it's like,

00:44:02.119 --> 00:44:02.360
 okay,

00:44:02.480 --> 00:44:02.960
 let's pray

00:44:02.960 --> 00:44:03.740
 that you'll be more disciplined

00:44:03.739 --> 00:44:04.459
 for next week.

00:44:04.639 --> 00:44:05.099
 And that's it.

00:44:05.959 --> 00:44:06.799
 That's what we think

00:44:06.799 --> 00:44:07.739
 accountability is.

00:44:07.879 --> 00:44:09.459
 That is not gospel accountability.

00:44:10.539 --> 00:44:11.779
 That's just picking fruit.

00:44:11.879 --> 00:44:12.419
 That's just doing

00:44:12.419 --> 00:44:14.159
 fruit level accountability.

00:44:14.819 --> 00:44:15.759
 But if it goes down

00:44:15.759 --> 00:44:17.000
 to the root of our hearts,

00:44:17.059 --> 00:44:17.599
 then what we need

00:44:17.599 --> 00:44:18.139
 to be doing

00:44:18.139 --> 00:44:18.939
 is seeing that

00:44:18.939 --> 00:44:19.799
 Jesus' words

00:44:19.799 --> 00:44:20.679
 are powerful

00:44:20.679 --> 00:44:22.019
 to speak right down

00:44:22.019 --> 00:44:23.119
 to the heart conditions

00:44:23.119 --> 00:44:23.879
 that we have.

00:44:24.439 --> 00:44:25.439
 And we need to use

00:44:25.439 --> 00:44:26.219
 His words

00:44:26.219 --> 00:44:27.319
 with each other

00:44:27.319 --> 00:44:28.059
 in community.

00:44:29.000 --> 00:44:30.079
 We need to rehearse

00:44:30.079 --> 00:44:30.659
 the cross

00:44:30.659 --> 00:44:31.679
 with each other daily

00:44:31.679 --> 00:44:34.119
 so that we're healing

00:44:34.119 --> 00:44:35.139
 and not wounding.

00:44:36.739 --> 00:44:37.199
 You see,

00:44:37.480 --> 00:44:38.460
 Hebrews 3 says,

00:44:38.679 --> 00:44:40.000
 exhort one another daily

00:44:40.000 --> 00:44:41.500
 so you'll not be hardened

00:44:41.500 --> 00:44:43.199
 by sin's deceitfulness.

00:44:45.519 --> 00:44:46.099
 You know,

00:44:46.159 --> 00:44:47.079
 when I mess up,

00:44:47.980 --> 00:44:48.819
 when I fail

00:44:48.819 --> 00:44:49.579
 in this area

00:44:49.579 --> 00:44:51.879
 as a broken sinner,

00:44:53.519 --> 00:44:54.319
 here is something

00:44:54.319 --> 00:44:54.719
 that I need

00:44:54.719 --> 00:44:55.500
 to be hearing

00:44:55.500 --> 00:44:57.179
 for myself.

00:44:57.799 --> 00:44:58.699
 I need people

00:44:58.699 --> 00:44:59.399
 to come and speak

00:44:59.399 --> 00:45:00.339
 these kind of words

00:45:00.339 --> 00:45:01.279
 into my life.

00:45:01.280 --> 00:45:03.120
 Chris,

00:45:03.600 --> 00:45:05.660
 I know you've messed up

00:45:05.660 --> 00:45:06.840
 but you're God's child,

00:45:07.620 --> 00:45:08.019
 forgiven

00:45:08.019 --> 00:45:09.440
 and dearly loved.

00:45:10.080 --> 00:45:11.040
 You are chosen,

00:45:11.460 --> 00:45:12.220
 delighted in,

00:45:12.480 --> 00:45:12.940
 valuable

00:45:12.940 --> 00:45:13.980
 and accepted

00:45:13.980 --> 00:45:14.580
 in Jesus.

00:45:15.000 --> 00:45:16.160
 God is proud

00:45:16.160 --> 00:45:16.820
 to call you

00:45:16.820 --> 00:45:17.380
 His son.

00:45:18.920 --> 00:45:20.040
 Do not look down

00:45:20.040 --> 00:45:21.180
 or focus on yourself

00:45:21.180 --> 00:45:21.840
 but look up

00:45:21.840 --> 00:45:23.900
 into His loving eyes.

00:45:24.140 --> 00:45:24.900
 Don't hide

00:45:24.900 --> 00:45:25.880
 in shame

00:45:25.880 --> 00:45:26.740
 or fear.

00:45:27.040 --> 00:45:27.900
 Don't let the enemy

00:45:27.900 --> 00:45:29.120
 accuse you anymore.

00:45:29.720 --> 00:45:30.480
 You're a warrior

00:45:30.480 --> 00:45:31.480
 under His command.

00:45:31.659 --> 00:45:32.800
 Fight with His strength.

00:45:33.500 --> 00:45:34.219
 You are Chris,

00:45:34.360 --> 00:45:35.820
 a prince in His army.

00:45:35.940 --> 00:45:36.360
 You are Chris,

00:45:36.420 --> 00:45:37.440
 a child of the king.

00:45:37.719 --> 00:45:38.079
 You are Chris,

00:45:38.139 --> 00:45:39.099
 a mighty warrior.

00:45:39.460 --> 00:45:40.440
 Kill those lies.

00:45:40.800 --> 00:45:41.800
 Rise up in His power.

00:45:42.099 --> 00:45:42.460
 Rise up

00:45:42.460 --> 00:45:43.780
 because He goes for you

00:45:43.780 --> 00:45:44.519
 in victory.

00:45:44.860 --> 00:45:45.699
 That's what I need

00:45:45.699 --> 00:45:46.619
 to hear in my heart.

00:45:46.800 --> 00:45:47.740
 That is where the gospel

00:45:47.740 --> 00:45:49.219
 is speaking into my life.

00:45:49.800 --> 00:45:50.900
 And if you and I

00:45:50.900 --> 00:45:51.280
 are going to be

00:45:51.280 --> 00:45:52.000
 a community

00:45:52.000 --> 00:45:53.240
 which is affirming

00:45:53.240 --> 00:45:53.820
 and correction,

00:45:53.820 --> 00:45:54.460
 we need to see

00:45:54.460 --> 00:45:55.820
 the power of the gospel.

00:45:56.639 --> 00:45:56.980
 Do you see

00:45:56.980 --> 00:45:57.940
 how much more powerful

00:45:57.940 --> 00:45:58.760
 that is than saying,

00:45:58.880 --> 00:45:58.980
 hey,

00:45:59.599 --> 00:45:59.760
 yeah,

00:45:59.780 --> 00:46:00.400
 let's pray that you

00:46:00.400 --> 00:46:01.079
 just hold your tongue

00:46:01.079 --> 00:46:01.559
 this week.

00:46:04.700 --> 00:46:05.139
 Seriously,

00:46:05.300 --> 00:46:06.000
 that's what we need

00:46:06.000 --> 00:46:06.659
 to be about.

00:46:07.740 --> 00:46:08.579
 That's the kind of

00:46:08.579 --> 00:46:09.320
 community Christ

00:46:09.320 --> 00:46:10.159
 died to be.

00:46:10.920 --> 00:46:11.960
 That we will know

00:46:11.960 --> 00:46:12.860
 that we're not going

00:46:12.860 --> 00:46:14.179
 to justify our words.

00:46:14.619 --> 00:46:15.300
 We're going to come

00:46:15.300 --> 00:46:16.460
 in deep level repentance.

00:46:17.720 --> 00:46:18.420
 That we're going to

00:46:18.420 --> 00:46:19.659
 gospel each other

00:46:19.659 --> 00:46:21.179
 regularly

00:46:21.179 --> 00:46:21.900
 through WhatsApp

00:46:21.900 --> 00:46:23.200
 in your community group.

00:46:23.199 --> 00:46:25.139
 And as you do that,

00:46:25.799 --> 00:46:27.579
 what you'll see

00:46:27.579 --> 00:46:30.079
 is over time

00:46:30.079 --> 00:46:33.039
 a culture of refreshment

00:46:33.039 --> 00:46:34.579
 and of restoration

00:46:34.579 --> 00:46:36.179
 and of healing

00:46:36.179 --> 00:46:37.379
 in a world

00:46:37.379 --> 00:46:38.099
 which is filled

00:46:38.099 --> 00:46:39.399
 with hurtful words.

00:46:40.960 --> 00:46:41.539
 So let's,

00:46:41.939 --> 00:46:42.659
 I just want us

00:46:42.659 --> 00:46:43.480
 to stop and pray.

00:46:47.960 --> 00:46:49.359
 I want you to actually,

00:46:50.219 --> 00:46:51.319
 I believe the Holy Spirit

00:46:51.320 --> 00:46:52.200
 is actually speaking

00:46:52.200 --> 00:46:52.840
 to some of you

00:46:52.840 --> 00:46:53.380
 right now.

00:46:54.940 --> 00:46:55.740
 And I want you

00:46:55.740 --> 00:46:56.559
 actually to open up

00:46:56.559 --> 00:46:57.180
 your hands

00:46:57.180 --> 00:46:57.600
 to say,

00:46:57.720 --> 00:46:57.840
 yes,

00:46:57.860 --> 00:46:58.860
 I'm willing to hear

00:46:58.860 --> 00:46:59.600
 what you want me to,

00:46:59.720 --> 00:47:00.720
 you want me to hear

00:47:00.720 --> 00:47:01.360
 right now.

00:47:04.180 --> 00:47:05.059
 As you open up

00:47:05.059 --> 00:47:05.460
 your hands,

00:47:05.500 --> 00:47:06.240
 I want you to think

00:47:06.240 --> 00:47:06.600
 about,

00:47:07.160 --> 00:47:09.220
 how am I doing

00:47:09.220 --> 00:47:09.960
 with that ratio?

00:47:14.760 --> 00:47:15.880
 Where is my heart?

00:47:15.880 --> 00:47:20.200
 Do I need to actually

00:47:20.200 --> 00:47:21.640
 really repent

00:47:21.640 --> 00:47:22.920
 rather than just saying

00:47:22.920 --> 00:47:23.740
 I'm sorry for

00:47:23.740 --> 00:47:25.340
 fruit level sins?

00:47:29.099 --> 00:47:30.539
 Do I need to realize

00:47:30.539 --> 00:47:31.559
 that I've been under

00:47:31.559 --> 00:47:32.400
 condemnation

00:47:32.400 --> 00:47:33.360
 and accusation

00:47:33.360 --> 00:47:34.260
 for a long time?

00:47:35.860 --> 00:47:37.039
 And I need the gospel

00:47:37.039 --> 00:47:37.940
 just to be spoken

00:47:37.940 --> 00:47:39.039
 into my life again.

00:47:42.960 --> 00:47:43.720
 I want you just

00:47:43.720 --> 00:47:44.340
 to take this,

00:47:44.440 --> 00:47:44.940
 this minute

00:47:44.940 --> 00:47:46.119
 just to actually speak,

00:47:46.260 --> 00:47:47.139
 engage with Jesus

00:47:47.139 --> 00:47:47.880
 right now.

00:47:50.539 --> 00:47:51.860
 Ask for His Spirit

00:47:51.860 --> 00:47:55.240
 to speak to you.

00:47:55.239 --> 00:48:00.339
 of the pose.

00:48:00.379 --> 00:48:00.779
 Another stretch.

00:48:00.839 --> 00:48:05.859
 Ask for His Spirit

00:48:09.859 --> 00:48:10.479
 to speak to you.

00:48:14.479 --> 00:48:15.659
 the child.

00:48:15.659 --> 00:48:30.920
 I want you to think about,

00:48:30.920 --> 00:48:30.980
 but

00:48:30.980 --> 00:48:37.739
 is there one person

00:48:37.739 --> 00:48:41.699
 who you know that you

00:48:41.699 --> 00:48:44.099
 have not really affirmed

00:48:44.099 --> 00:48:45.299
 very much in the gospel?

00:48:45.659 --> 00:48:49.920
 Maybe you know you've just been filled with correction

00:48:49.920 --> 00:48:50.679
 towards them.

00:48:54.299 --> 00:48:56.019
 I want you to think of one person

00:48:56.019 --> 00:48:57.039
 that this week

00:48:57.039 --> 00:49:01.639
 you'll maybe write a note to.

00:49:02.899 --> 00:49:04.619
 You'll maybe send a WhatsApp to.

00:49:06.159 --> 00:49:08.239
 You'll maybe just verbally say to them.

00:49:10.539 --> 00:49:11.719
 Whether you'll commit

00:49:11.719 --> 00:49:14.920
 speaking words of life

00:49:14.920 --> 00:49:16.599
 to them.

00:49:19.960 --> 00:49:21.720
 Bring that person to Christ now.

00:49:25.079 --> 00:49:26.519
 Ask him to give you

00:49:26.519 --> 00:49:30.619
 just such a knowledge of your grace,

00:49:31.940 --> 00:49:33.780
 his grace towards you,

00:49:33.780 --> 00:49:38.360
 that you can extend back to others.

00:49:38.360 --> 00:49:55.420
 Father, I just...

00:49:55.420 --> 00:49:59.680
 I realize even in preparing this

00:49:59.680 --> 00:50:00.440
 that I just

00:50:00.440 --> 00:50:01.619
 fall far short

00:50:01.619 --> 00:50:07.039
 of the way that I use my words.

00:50:10.619 --> 00:50:11.900
 Sometimes I'm too lazy

00:50:11.900 --> 00:50:12.940
 to affirm people

00:50:12.940 --> 00:50:13.420
 because

00:50:13.420 --> 00:50:15.119
 I think they already know.

00:50:16.619 --> 00:50:18.019
 I said something to them

00:50:18.019 --> 00:50:18.860
 a few months ago.

00:50:18.860 --> 00:50:19.360
 I'm too lazy to say to them.

00:50:19.360 --> 00:50:19.519
 I don't know.

00:50:22.120 --> 00:50:23.680
 And yet I don't see the power

00:50:23.680 --> 00:50:24.340
 of your gospel,

00:50:24.500 --> 00:50:25.340
 the power of life

00:50:25.340 --> 00:50:27.340
 that you have given me,

00:50:27.519 --> 00:50:28.940
 stewarded me with my tongue

00:50:28.940 --> 00:50:30.800
 to be able to bless,

00:50:31.900 --> 00:50:32.360
 heal,

00:50:33.120 --> 00:50:33.660
 restore.

00:50:33.659 --> 00:50:33.980
 Lord,

00:50:34.980 --> 00:50:38.480
 I pray for us.

00:50:40.019 --> 00:50:41.039
 Lord, there's some of us

00:50:41.039 --> 00:50:41.839
 who've been very hurt

00:50:41.839 --> 00:50:42.779
 by words here.

00:50:45.980 --> 00:50:47.659
 I pray your healing power

00:50:47.659 --> 00:50:48.920
 in their lives right now.

00:50:48.920 --> 00:50:53.800
 I pray that they'd hear

00:50:53.800 --> 00:50:55.800
 your words of grace to them.

00:50:58.800 --> 00:51:00.340
 I pray that they'd know

00:51:00.340 --> 00:51:02.240
 that you are God

00:51:02.240 --> 00:51:03.599
 who always speaks words

00:51:03.599 --> 00:51:05.200
 which are called to bring life.

00:51:08.300 --> 00:51:09.980
 Pray for us who we know

00:51:09.980 --> 00:51:11.139
 that we have an anger problem.

00:51:12.920 --> 00:51:14.139
 We know we're critical.

00:51:15.280 --> 00:51:16.579
 We know we complain.

00:51:18.920 --> 00:51:20.119
 I pray.

00:51:22.280 --> 00:51:23.840
 Sweeten our tongues, Lord,

00:51:23.900 --> 00:51:24.539
 with your word.

00:51:26.119 --> 00:51:27.920
 Help us to run back to you.

00:51:29.960 --> 00:51:30.900
 Find forgiveness

00:51:30.900 --> 00:51:34.079
 and new power to change.

00:51:35.099 --> 00:51:36.099
 In Jesus' name.

00:51:37.099 --> 00:51:37.380
 Amen.