WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:05.080 We hope that you enjoy this teaching from Christ Church. 00:00:05.719 --> 00:00:09.500 This material is copyrighted and no unauthorized duplication, 00:00:09.880 --> 00:00:15.280 redistribution, or any other use of any part is permitted without prior consent from Christ Church. 00:00:15.280 --> 00:00:22.640 Please consider donating to this work in the San Francisco Bay Area online at ChristChurchEastBay.org. 00:00:22.640 --> 00:00:34.200 Today's scripture lesson is from the Gospel according to Matthew, chapter 19, verses 1-12, as printed in the liturgy. 00:00:35.060 --> 00:00:36.960 A reading from the Gospel according to Matthew. 00:00:37.719 --> 00:00:44.540 When Jesus had finished saying these things, he left Galilee and went into the region of Judea to the other side of the Jordan. 00:00:45.400 --> 00:00:47.840 Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there. 00:00:48.859 --> 00:00:51.060 Some Pharisees came to him to test him. 00:00:51.060 --> 00:00:52.240 They asked, 00:00:52.640 --> 00:01:01.520 Haven't you read, he replied, that at the beginning the Creator made them male and female, 00:01:02.100 --> 00:01:02.520 and said, 00:01:02.980 --> 00:01:18.780 Why then, they asked, 00:01:18.780 --> 00:01:23.280 Did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away? 00:01:24.060 --> 00:01:24.879 Jesus replied, 00:01:25.480 --> 00:01:30.519 Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard, but it was not this way from the beginning. 00:01:31.359 --> 00:01:38.400 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman, commits adultery. 00:01:39.260 --> 00:01:40.659 The disciples said to him, 00:01:41.040 --> 00:01:44.859 If this is a situation between a husband and wife, is it better not to marry? 00:01:45.200 --> 00:01:46.200 It is better not to marry. 00:01:46.200 --> 00:01:48.460 Jesus replied, 00:01:48.460 --> 00:01:52.700 Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. 00:01:53.540 --> 00:01:57.859 For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others. 00:01:58.439 --> 00:02:01.840 And there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. 00:02:02.359 --> 00:02:04.740 The one who can accept this should accept it. 00:02:05.320 --> 00:02:06.700 This is the Gospel of the Lord. 00:02:06.700 --> 00:02:08.960 We praise you, Lord Christ. 00:02:11.379 --> 00:02:13.379 Good morning, Christ Church. 00:02:14.300 --> 00:02:17.920 Today is one of those Sundays where it's just easy to be a preacher. 00:02:19.439 --> 00:02:21.379 You know, you just kind of mail in the sermon. 00:02:21.640 --> 00:02:24.379 Not a lot of thought, not a lot of work, not a lot of prayer. 00:02:25.099 --> 00:02:29.740 Because in our Gospel text today, Jesus weighs in on some light topics. 00:02:29.740 --> 00:02:36.520 Like marriage, divorce, remarriage, singleness, sexuality, gender, sexual immorality, adultery. 00:02:36.960 --> 00:02:37.060 Right? 00:02:37.280 --> 00:02:39.400 So, should be fun. 00:02:39.560 --> 00:02:40.159 Should be fun. 00:02:41.260 --> 00:02:43.659 I know these issues for us are personal. 00:02:43.939 --> 00:02:44.420 They're sensitive. 00:02:44.680 --> 00:02:45.280 They're serious. 00:02:45.420 --> 00:02:46.900 They're even controversial. 00:02:47.960 --> 00:02:50.520 And of course, this is not, you know, only about issues. 00:02:50.640 --> 00:02:51.560 It's about real people. 00:02:52.219 --> 00:02:57.180 It's about things that affect everybody in this room and people who are not in this room, 00:02:57.240 --> 00:02:58.860 who we love and who we care about. 00:02:59.280 --> 00:03:02.860 Our parents, our siblings, our kids, our friends, our neighbors, our coworkers. 00:03:03.900 --> 00:03:06.360 I feel inadequate to address this topic. 00:03:07.000 --> 00:03:11.620 And I feel a little bit nervous because the last few times we've preached on this topic, 00:03:11.860 --> 00:03:14.000 it's caused some tension and conflict. 00:03:14.360 --> 00:03:21.460 And texts, emails, conversations that I kind of file away in the not fun category of pastoral ministry. 00:03:22.140 --> 00:03:30.020 But perhaps you're more nervous than me because these issues cause you to feel immense pain and sadness 00:03:30.020 --> 00:03:36.379 or intense shame and guilt, either for things that we've done or for things that have been done to us, 00:03:36.460 --> 00:03:38.539 ways that we've been wronged. 00:03:38.719 --> 00:03:43.060 Some of us are here today, we're lonely because we are longing for marriage. 00:03:43.060 --> 00:03:46.580 Some of us are lonely because we feel stuck in hard marriages. 00:03:47.560 --> 00:03:50.319 Some of us are here with stories of failed marriage. 00:03:50.319 --> 00:03:54.199 Some of us are here today with addictions and secrets. 00:03:55.019 --> 00:03:58.500 Some of us are here today, we identify as same-sex attracted or gay. 00:03:59.060 --> 00:04:04.780 And the church has not been a safe place for you to talk about these things or even to be in church. 00:04:04.780 --> 00:04:07.780 And if you're nervous, I just want to say I get it. 00:04:08.300 --> 00:04:10.659 And I want to encourage you, fear not. 00:04:11.560 --> 00:04:19.980 Open yourself up to God because God is here to meet you in His compassion, His kindness, His healing, and His transforming power. 00:04:19.980 --> 00:04:26.800 If you're here today and you're exploring the Christian faith, I want to say that, you know, what's most important for you, 00:04:26.860 --> 00:04:31.140 the first things that you should keep first is, is Jesus the Son of God? 00:04:31.720 --> 00:04:32.780 Did He die for your sins? 00:04:32.840 --> 00:04:33.840 Did He rise from the dead? 00:04:33.920 --> 00:04:35.580 And have you experienced His grace? 00:04:36.160 --> 00:04:39.080 And when you've dealt with those things, then you can get to the ethics of Jesus. 00:04:39.079 --> 00:04:45.120 But I am going to be talking today to Christians about ethics, and I hope it's helpful for you to overhear that conversation. 00:04:46.399 --> 00:04:50.939 And I want you to know that everybody here is broken on these issues, including me. 00:04:51.680 --> 00:04:53.019 I don't have it all together. 00:04:53.139 --> 00:04:58.959 The common ground I share with all of you is our need for wisdom about these issues. 00:04:59.240 --> 00:05:03.279 And under no illusion that we all agree on these things. 00:05:03.279 --> 00:05:06.179 We're going to walk out of here today agreeing on these things, and that's okay. 00:05:06.779 --> 00:05:13.179 I hope it opens the door for you to, and for us together, to seek the mind of God on these things. 00:05:14.039 --> 00:05:16.139 So that's my preamble. 00:05:16.819 --> 00:05:22.419 And here's my introduction, is that Jesus endorses God's vision of marriage in the Old Testament. 00:05:23.519 --> 00:05:27.000 We see in Luke chapter 2 that He obeyed His married parents. 00:05:27.559 --> 00:05:32.399 We see in John chapter 2 that He performed His first miracle at a wedding. 00:05:33.279 --> 00:05:38.939 We see in Mark chapter 1 that Jesus called a married guy named Peter to be the leader of His 12 disciples. 00:05:40.019 --> 00:05:48.019 So Jesus shares in this high and holy vision of marriage and the strict standard of sexuality that God revealed 00:05:48.019 --> 00:05:52.799 through the law, the prophets, and the writings, these three parts of the Old Testament. 00:05:53.139 --> 00:05:59.459 So that when these Bible scholars come and they ask Jesus a question on marriage, how does Jesus respond? 00:05:59.639 --> 00:06:01.679 He says in verse 4, 00:06:01.680 --> 00:06:03.100 Haven't you read? 00:06:04.199 --> 00:06:05.079 Haven't you read? 00:06:05.879 --> 00:06:11.879 They ask Him a question about marriage to trap Him in this hotly debated topic and declare which side He's on. 00:06:11.939 --> 00:06:18.100 And of course, Jesus does not answer their question, but He gets down to the root issue by saying, 00:06:18.240 --> 00:06:19.100 Haven't you read? 00:06:20.180 --> 00:06:21.280 Or what He often says is, 00:06:21.420 --> 00:06:21.980 It is written. 00:06:22.480 --> 00:06:23.620 Or sometimes He'll say, 00:06:24.019 --> 00:06:25.300 Scripture cannot be broken. 00:06:25.300 --> 00:06:29.980 And when He says these things, He's appealing to a higher authority. 00:06:30.840 --> 00:06:40.080 He's appealing to the authority of God, the authority of God's Word, the authority of God's self-revelation and His character, His covenants and His counsels. 00:06:40.420 --> 00:06:44.199 And that's why He takes us to pages 1 and 2 of the Bible. 00:06:45.139 --> 00:06:46.060 Now what about you? 00:06:46.060 --> 00:06:55.120 When you think about the issues of marriage, singleness, sexuality, and gender in our time, where do you go as your supreme authority? 00:06:55.939 --> 00:07:03.779 Do you go to cultural authorities and then come and read the Bible through the lenses of our culture? 00:07:03.779 --> 00:07:10.279 Or do you go to God and to the Bible and you read our culture through the lenses of Scripture? 00:07:10.659 --> 00:07:12.859 And that's what Jesus is doing here. 00:07:12.939 --> 00:07:14.679 He takes us to Genesis 1 and 2, 00:07:15.179 --> 00:07:18.699 the simple, beautiful vision of the meaning of human existence, 00:07:18.919 --> 00:07:23.019 the meaning of marriage that gets woven through all the Scriptures, 00:07:23.179 --> 00:07:24.639 till you get to the very end of the Bible, 00:07:25.519 --> 00:07:27.899 where you have this beautiful marriage, 00:07:28.019 --> 00:07:29.899 this joining together of heaven and earth, 00:07:29.899 --> 00:07:35.000 this joining together of Christ and His church in Revelation 21 and 22. 00:07:35.219 --> 00:07:41.639 And so it's from these inspired, infallible, authoritative Scriptures, 00:07:41.819 --> 00:07:44.299 the Word of God that Jesus speaks. 00:07:44.959 --> 00:07:51.019 And the Word that He speaks for us is that He builds His church on covenant marriage, 00:07:51.719 --> 00:07:55.399 on kingdom singleness, and on the grace gospel. 00:07:55.399 --> 00:08:01.620 That Jesus builds His church on covenant marriage, kingdom singleness, and the grace gospel. 00:08:01.739 --> 00:08:04.179 We heard Jesus say a few weeks ago in Matthew 16, 00:08:04.299 --> 00:08:07.759 I will build my church and the gates of hell will not prevail against it. 00:08:07.779 --> 00:08:10.060 So we've been asking, well, what does He build His church on? 00:08:10.599 --> 00:08:12.000 And this is what He builds His church on. 00:08:12.060 --> 00:08:15.199 First of all, He builds His church on covenant marriage. 00:08:16.099 --> 00:08:17.359 If you look at verse 4, He says, 00:08:17.439 --> 00:08:22.039 Haven't you read that at the beginning, the Creator made them male and female? 00:08:22.040 --> 00:08:25.220 And that's a quote from Genesis 1, 27. 00:08:25.580 --> 00:08:29.660 And Jesus is teaching that our Creator made one humanity 00:08:29.660 --> 00:08:35.560 that consists of two binary or dimorphic gendered opposites of male and female. 00:08:36.259 --> 00:08:40.580 And in that next verse in Genesis 1, 28, He gives them their first command. 00:08:40.639 --> 00:08:41.259 And what is that? 00:08:41.980 --> 00:08:43.980 It's be fruitful and multiply. 00:08:44.740 --> 00:08:49.200 And that tells us that marriage is typically for the generation of new life 00:08:49.200 --> 00:08:54.060 and the procreation of children and their upbringing in the love and order of a family. 00:08:54.980 --> 00:08:57.340 And if you keep reading on, you get to Genesis 2, 00:08:57.520 --> 00:09:01.240 and it's kind of another angle on the creation story. 00:09:01.379 --> 00:09:02.600 And God says there, He says, 00:09:02.700 --> 00:09:04.400 It's not good for man to be alone. 00:09:05.240 --> 00:09:08.800 I'm going to make a helper or an ally suitable for him. 00:09:09.560 --> 00:09:12.560 And that tells us that marriage is designed to be a friendship, 00:09:13.200 --> 00:09:18.160 a friendship between these allies that give each other mutual support and comfort. 00:09:18.159 --> 00:09:24.480 And then we get to this next verse that Jesus quotes in verse 5 where He says, 00:09:25.620 --> 00:09:29.879 For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, 00:09:29.939 --> 00:09:32.199 and the two will become one flesh. 00:09:32.319 --> 00:09:34.319 Now that's a quote from Genesis 2, 24. 00:09:35.360 --> 00:09:39.759 And Jesus is teaching here that marriage exists in the eyes of God 00:09:39.759 --> 00:09:45.700 when that union is, first of all, an exclusive one-man, one-woman relationship, 00:09:46.120 --> 00:09:49.100 which is why it says man and wife. 00:09:49.919 --> 00:09:54.379 Number two, that union is publicly acknowledged at a social event 00:09:54.379 --> 00:09:59.179 where the child-parent relationship is replaced by the husband-wife relationship, 00:09:59.340 --> 00:10:01.720 and that's what it means by leaves his parents. 00:10:01.720 --> 00:10:08.940 Number three, that union is sealed by a permanent, lifelong covenant commitment of self-giving love, 00:10:08.980 --> 00:10:11.899 and that's what's meant by the words, cleaves to his wife. 00:10:12.720 --> 00:10:16.139 You swear, you make a promise that you're going to cleave, 00:10:16.220 --> 00:10:21.379 which means to adhere firmly or closely and loyally and unswervingly. 00:10:22.220 --> 00:10:26.759 And then what's the final ingredient for marriage in terms of how God defines it? 00:10:26.759 --> 00:10:31.159 That the fourth thing is that it's consummated by sexual intercourse 00:10:31.159 --> 00:10:33.620 as a sign and a seal of that covenant, 00:10:33.799 --> 00:10:36.559 and that's what the language of one flesh means. 00:10:37.220 --> 00:10:41.279 This physical union is to be a whole life union 00:10:41.279 --> 00:10:46.620 that's emotional and spiritual and social and legal and a financial union. 00:10:47.580 --> 00:10:50.059 So that's the definition of marriage. 00:10:50.299 --> 00:10:53.519 It's the nearest the Bible gets to a full definition of marriage, 00:10:53.519 --> 00:10:56.240 and Jesus affirms that definition. 00:10:57.279 --> 00:11:00.240 He's teaching us that marriage is not a human invention, 00:11:00.480 --> 00:11:02.840 but it's a divine institution, 00:11:03.600 --> 00:11:08.620 and that the Creator God's given us this gracious, loving provision 00:11:08.620 --> 00:11:13.179 for his very good creation before we fell away from God 00:11:13.179 --> 00:11:16.399 and before sin entered in and twisted the world. 00:11:17.299 --> 00:11:20.899 And if you look at the larger context of creation in Genesis 1, 00:11:20.899 --> 00:11:23.159 you can see God taking these, 00:11:23.299 --> 00:11:26.000 causing all these diverse and unlike things 00:11:26.000 --> 00:11:31.919 to come together and create united dynamic wholes 00:11:31.919 --> 00:11:36.480 that generate more life and more beauty through their relationships. 00:11:36.480 --> 00:11:40.100 So that by the time you get to the man and the woman, 00:11:40.659 --> 00:11:45.360 you can see that God's union of this male-female marriage 00:11:45.360 --> 00:11:48.360 is the climax of his creativity. 00:11:48.360 --> 00:11:53.379 And this marriage is the ultimate unity and diversity. 00:11:53.379 --> 00:11:55.820 It's the ultimate diversity and unity 00:11:55.820 --> 00:12:02.000 because men and women have unique, non-interchangeable strengths and glories. 00:12:02.720 --> 00:12:05.840 Each of us can see and do things that the other cannot. 00:12:05.840 --> 00:12:13.320 And so God created this sexual union within this intergendered covenant of marriage 00:12:13.320 --> 00:12:15.980 as a way, not the only way, 00:12:16.080 --> 00:12:19.300 but as a major way for human beings 00:12:19.300 --> 00:12:22.259 to intermingle and mix together 00:12:22.259 --> 00:12:26.080 these special strengths and glories that we have. 00:12:26.080 --> 00:12:29.540 And if you read the book of Song of Songs, 00:12:30.240 --> 00:12:32.639 you'll find that it's an entire book of the Bible 00:12:32.639 --> 00:12:37.620 that's devoted to this extended poetic meditation 00:12:37.620 --> 00:12:40.580 on this reality that I'm trying to describe. 00:12:40.940 --> 00:12:47.080 And it's really a commentary on Genesis 2, verses 23 to 25. 00:12:47.080 --> 00:12:52.180 If you read through the law, the prophets, the writings of the Old Testament, 00:12:53.080 --> 00:12:58.460 God reveals that he desires to protect the liberty 00:12:58.460 --> 00:13:01.759 and the integrity of male-female marriages 00:13:01.759 --> 00:13:04.720 and their extended families, 00:13:05.480 --> 00:13:10.840 which is the basic social unit upon which God's covenant with his people depends. 00:13:11.780 --> 00:13:12.879 Is this making sense? 00:13:13.340 --> 00:13:15.879 This is why Jesus says in verse 20, 00:13:15.879 --> 00:13:18.600 They shall no longer be two but one. 00:13:19.559 --> 00:13:23.019 Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate. 00:13:23.120 --> 00:13:28.039 It's a command from Jesus to protect these marriages that God has yoked, 00:13:28.159 --> 00:13:30.139 that God has fastened together. 00:13:30.399 --> 00:13:33.019 And if God has done that, then we should come around them 00:13:33.019 --> 00:13:38.379 and guard that union and strengthen the bonds of that unity. 00:13:39.460 --> 00:13:43.019 Now, what does that mean for us, and how does it apply to our lives? 00:13:43.019 --> 00:13:47.100 Well, I think it means that the community of Jesus' disciples 00:13:47.100 --> 00:13:51.480 is called to uphold Jesus' doctrine of marriage 00:13:51.480 --> 00:13:55.059 and is called to live out Jesus' ethics of marriage. 00:13:55.879 --> 00:13:59.539 And if you're here today and you've taken the great risk of becoming a husband 00:13:59.539 --> 00:14:00.699 or becoming a wife, 00:14:01.319 --> 00:14:05.659 you made covenant promises that you would, in the future, 00:14:05.659 --> 00:14:11.719 love and cherish that other person when things are either better or worse. 00:14:12.799 --> 00:14:17.319 Whether you're experiencing being richer or poorer, 00:14:17.939 --> 00:14:21.620 or if things are in a season of sickness or in health. 00:14:21.679 --> 00:14:22.959 And the question for us today is, 00:14:23.339 --> 00:14:24.399 how's that going? 00:14:24.399 --> 00:14:30.159 Are we honoring those vows that we made even when and if it hurts us? 00:14:30.179 --> 00:14:33.879 Are we cherishing that friendship that marriage is supposed to be? 00:14:33.939 --> 00:14:38.000 And are we investing the time that that friendship requires? 00:14:39.039 --> 00:14:41.519 Jesus tells us to cleave to your spouse. 00:14:42.379 --> 00:14:45.840 Are we adhering closely to one another as allies? 00:14:46.059 --> 00:14:49.539 Or are we just kind of coasting along and maybe even drifting apart? 00:14:49.539 --> 00:14:53.699 Are we serving our spouse, encouraging our spouse, 00:14:53.839 --> 00:14:57.539 praying for our spouse in self-giving, sacrificial love 00:14:57.539 --> 00:15:01.279 and allowing our relationship to be a symbol and a signpost 00:15:01.279 --> 00:15:05.339 to God's cleaving and covenantal love for us? 00:15:06.519 --> 00:15:09.399 Jesus says to us that we're to be one flesh. 00:15:10.459 --> 00:15:13.759 And the question is, are we giving not just our bodies, 00:15:13.899 --> 00:15:17.959 but are we giving our whole selves to one another in a whole life union? 00:15:17.960 --> 00:15:23.100 Or are we holding parts of our life and parts of ourself back from each other? 00:15:24.220 --> 00:15:29.820 Are we giving each other a taste of Eden where we can be fully known? 00:15:30.780 --> 00:15:33.940 And in being fully known, we can be fully accepted. 00:15:35.139 --> 00:15:38.480 Jesus says that, you know, what God has joined together, 00:15:38.620 --> 00:15:40.060 let no one separate. 00:15:40.240 --> 00:15:43.680 And the question for us is, are we protecting our relationships 00:15:43.679 --> 00:15:48.379 by keeping them utterly exclusive and absolutely unadulterated? 00:15:49.219 --> 00:15:53.519 Are we allowing other people and other things to drive a wedge in between us 00:15:53.519 --> 00:15:54.679 and pull us apart? 00:15:55.579 --> 00:16:00.879 Are we putting our kids rather than our friendship at the center of our marriage? 00:16:02.199 --> 00:16:05.159 You know, are we continuing to say, 00:16:05.620 --> 00:16:09.439 till death do us part, 10 years in, 20 years in, 50 years in, 00:16:09.440 --> 00:16:13.040 the only thing that's going to pull us apart is death. 00:16:15.140 --> 00:16:18.840 Now, I know there may be people here today and you're like, 00:16:18.920 --> 00:16:20.520 man, I'm struggling to find a spouse. 00:16:21.160 --> 00:16:22.640 I'm struggling in my marriage. 00:16:22.720 --> 00:16:23.240 I'm divorced. 00:16:23.420 --> 00:16:24.000 I'm widowed. 00:16:24.700 --> 00:16:25.820 Maybe you're remarried. 00:16:25.920 --> 00:16:29.900 Maybe you're dealing with infertility or miscarriage or the loss of a child. 00:16:29.940 --> 00:16:31.900 And I want you to know you're not alone. 00:16:31.899 --> 00:16:37.059 And I want to encourage you not to allow yourself to struggle alone, 00:16:37.360 --> 00:16:42.779 to rather give this church community the opportunity to come around you 00:16:42.779 --> 00:16:47.459 with some love and some biblical wisdom about dating and engagement 00:16:47.459 --> 00:16:49.759 and what it means to be newlyweds 00:16:49.759 --> 00:16:52.579 and how to engage conflict and reconciliation, 00:16:52.959 --> 00:16:56.720 how to grieve the loss of a marriage or the loss of a beloved spouse 00:16:56.720 --> 00:16:58.679 or the loss of a desired child. 00:16:58.679 --> 00:17:01.899 If you're married today and you think, 00:17:02.179 --> 00:17:03.959 or maybe even dating or engaged, 00:17:04.039 --> 00:17:06.980 and you think you'd benefit from having a marriage mentor 00:17:06.980 --> 00:17:08.319 or some marriage counseling, 00:17:08.480 --> 00:17:11.299 we'd love to give you some guidance and referrals about that. 00:17:11.639 --> 00:17:12.940 If you're looking for resources, 00:17:13.119 --> 00:17:14.659 I brought a whole stack of books. 00:17:14.759 --> 00:17:16.359 I'll put them on the communion table afterwards. 00:17:16.539 --> 00:17:17.639 Please don't take my books. 00:17:19.059 --> 00:17:20.579 But take a picture of my books. 00:17:20.659 --> 00:17:21.879 There's a great one on there called 00:17:21.879 --> 00:17:23.960 How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk. 00:17:24.399 --> 00:17:25.619 I recommend that to you. 00:17:26.359 --> 00:17:28.399 There's another one called The Defining Decade, 00:17:28.400 --> 00:17:30.519 How to Make the Most of Your 20s Now, 00:17:30.580 --> 00:17:32.920 as written by a woman who got her PhD here at Berkeley. 00:17:33.400 --> 00:17:36.280 Another one called Hold Me Tight that I didn't bring. 00:17:36.720 --> 00:17:38.980 Catherine and I have been trying to read that for about 10 years. 00:17:39.800 --> 00:17:43.120 And we took it to England last summer and still haven't read it. 00:17:43.320 --> 00:17:46.600 So we hit our 20th anniversary this summer. 00:17:46.680 --> 00:17:48.860 Please ask us if we've read Hold Me Tight. 00:17:49.700 --> 00:17:51.660 And are you holding one another tight? 00:17:51.660 --> 00:17:57.920 So I say this at every wedding that marriage is not to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly, 00:17:58.200 --> 00:18:04.460 but reverently, deliberately, and in accordance with the purposes for which it was instituted by God. 00:18:04.519 --> 00:18:07.460 And the purposes of marriage, they're not a mystery. 00:18:08.519 --> 00:18:11.279 Jesus teaches us about those purposes, 00:18:11.460 --> 00:18:15.840 and we as his people, we need to learn what those are and hold them up and live them out. 00:18:15.839 --> 00:18:16.559 Amen? 00:18:17.679 --> 00:18:21.159 So Jesus builds his church on covenant marriage, 00:18:21.439 --> 00:18:23.980 but he doesn't just build his church on covenant marriage. 00:18:24.099 --> 00:18:26.240 He builds his church on kingdom singleness. 00:18:27.259 --> 00:18:29.639 There might be half of the room in here today that's single. 00:18:30.619 --> 00:18:32.899 And these disciples, they're listening to Jesus, 00:18:33.039 --> 00:18:34.039 and they say in verse 10, 00:18:34.099 --> 00:18:34.359 they say, 00:18:34.439 --> 00:18:34.819 You know what? 00:18:34.859 --> 00:18:36.199 It's better not to marry. 00:18:37.019 --> 00:18:38.419 It's just better not to marry. 00:18:38.420 --> 00:18:41.680 Because, Jesus, your vision for marriage is so high, 00:18:42.640 --> 00:18:46.360 and if we have to do marriage on your terms and not on our terms, 00:18:46.880 --> 00:18:48.759 man, it's better to be single and celibate. 00:18:49.740 --> 00:18:52.180 And so Jesus responds to them in verse 11. 00:18:52.420 --> 00:18:52.940 He says, 00:18:53.140 --> 00:18:54.880 Not everyone can accept this word, 00:18:55.539 --> 00:18:57.120 but only those to whom it's been given. 00:18:58.460 --> 00:19:00.620 For some are eunuchs because they were born that way. 00:19:00.759 --> 00:19:01.860 Others have been made eunuchs, 00:19:01.920 --> 00:19:05.240 and others have renounced marriage or made themselves eunuchs 00:19:05.240 --> 00:19:07.259 because of the kingdom of heaven. 00:19:07.259 --> 00:19:09.980 And the one who can accept this should accept it. 00:19:10.759 --> 00:19:12.420 What in the world is Jesus talking about? 00:19:13.240 --> 00:19:14.559 I know it sounds strange, 00:19:14.680 --> 00:19:18.819 but I think it has deep cultural relevance for this moment that we're in. 00:19:19.460 --> 00:19:20.400 What is a eunuch? 00:19:20.740 --> 00:19:21.859 In the ancient world, 00:19:21.980 --> 00:19:26.299 a eunuch would guard the women's living areas of royal courts 00:19:26.299 --> 00:19:27.599 because they were castrated. 00:19:28.440 --> 00:19:30.559 So a eunuch is somebody who's not going to get married, 00:19:30.680 --> 00:19:31.500 not going to have sex, 00:19:31.579 --> 00:19:32.500 not going to make babies. 00:19:32.759 --> 00:19:36.400 And Jesus is using this term to talk about himself 00:19:36.400 --> 00:19:39.280 and to talk about his single disciples. 00:19:40.300 --> 00:19:40.740 And he says, 00:19:40.820 --> 00:19:44.860 I want you to see God's gift of the single life in three distinct modes. 00:19:45.000 --> 00:19:45.519 First of all, 00:19:45.580 --> 00:19:47.040 there are people that are born that way, 00:19:47.600 --> 00:19:49.759 which suggests nature and biology, 00:19:50.000 --> 00:19:50.480 heredity, 00:19:51.240 --> 00:19:51.440 you know, 00:19:51.500 --> 00:19:54.460 how we arrive genetically at birth from our mother's womb. 00:19:54.460 --> 00:19:55.799 And Jesus says, 00:19:55.880 --> 00:19:58.600 some of my disciples are going to be single and celibate 00:19:58.600 --> 00:20:01.460 because they lack the capacity to sexually relate, 00:20:01.600 --> 00:20:03.259 either physically or mentally. 00:20:04.380 --> 00:20:08.620 And then what's the second category of single disciples Jesus mentions? 00:20:08.720 --> 00:20:09.100 He says, 00:20:09.200 --> 00:20:11.819 there are those who are made that way by others, 00:20:12.360 --> 00:20:13.980 which suggests not nature, 00:20:14.140 --> 00:20:16.980 but nurture or our environment, 00:20:17.079 --> 00:20:19.340 the ways we've been damaged by our history, 00:20:19.640 --> 00:20:20.360 our relationships, 00:20:20.660 --> 00:20:21.880 our social forces, 00:20:21.880 --> 00:20:23.260 our experiences. 00:20:23.500 --> 00:20:23.800 He says, 00:20:23.860 --> 00:20:26.920 some are going to be single and celibate disciples 00:20:26.920 --> 00:20:29.040 because of abuse or abandonment 00:20:29.040 --> 00:20:32.580 or because they've been refused by desired partners 00:20:32.580 --> 00:20:34.720 or because they're divorced or because they're widowed. 00:20:34.800 --> 00:20:36.400 And some other disciples, 00:20:36.600 --> 00:20:38.780 because they're not attracted to the opposite sex. 00:20:39.980 --> 00:20:43.000 If 5% of the general population is same-sex attracted, 00:20:43.100 --> 00:20:47.100 we should not be surprised that that percentage shows up in the church. 00:20:47.099 --> 00:20:52.000 And it's been my honor and my privilege to journey with so many Christians 00:20:52.000 --> 00:20:53.379 over the past 20 years 00:20:53.379 --> 00:20:57.039 who on the one hand have experienced rejection from the church 00:20:57.039 --> 00:20:58.419 because they're same-sex attracted. 00:20:59.079 --> 00:20:59.839 And on the other hand, 00:20:59.859 --> 00:21:02.179 they've experienced rejection from the LGBT community 00:21:02.179 --> 00:21:05.399 because of their decision to follow and obey Christ. 00:21:05.519 --> 00:21:06.159 And if that's you, 00:21:06.219 --> 00:21:09.439 I want to say that that double rejection is extremely painful 00:21:09.439 --> 00:21:10.539 from what you've told me 00:21:10.539 --> 00:21:13.480 and that you are most welcome in this church. 00:21:13.480 --> 00:21:19.120 What then is Jesus' third category for single disciples? 00:21:19.319 --> 00:21:19.660 He says, 00:21:19.779 --> 00:21:22.079 there are those who choose to live like eunuchs 00:21:22.079 --> 00:21:24.480 for the sake of the kingdom of God. 00:21:24.900 --> 00:21:27.500 Literally, they've made themselves eunuchs 00:21:27.500 --> 00:21:30.120 and that suggests choice or decision or volition 00:21:30.120 --> 00:21:33.319 or will based on your calling. 00:21:34.319 --> 00:21:37.440 This is a disciple who's moved by the call of God 00:21:37.440 --> 00:21:38.900 and the call of the kingdom of heaven 00:21:38.900 --> 00:21:41.799 to put sexual relations aside 00:21:41.799 --> 00:21:45.059 to give themselves fully to serve the Lord 00:21:45.059 --> 00:21:50.460 in a singular, undivided, undistracted, and devoted way. 00:21:50.659 --> 00:21:54.440 And Jesus is calling us to honor that costly discipleship, 00:21:54.500 --> 00:21:57.259 to honor that kind of heroic obedience, 00:21:58.159 --> 00:22:00.159 to honor people who've committed themselves 00:22:00.159 --> 00:22:02.940 to this countercultural way of living. 00:22:03.700 --> 00:22:05.980 Now, some of you, you sense this calling 00:22:05.980 --> 00:22:08.379 and you know it's a lifelong calling. 00:22:08.380 --> 00:22:10.940 And like Pastor John Stott, 00:22:11.020 --> 00:22:13.160 who was a lifelong single in London, England, 00:22:13.280 --> 00:22:14.380 he said of marriage, 00:22:15.280 --> 00:22:18.060 you know, I would rather want what I do not have 00:22:18.060 --> 00:22:19.280 than have what I do not want. 00:22:20.240 --> 00:22:23.080 And that's your perspective on it as well. 00:22:23.200 --> 00:22:24.940 Some of you are hoping, you know, 00:22:24.980 --> 00:22:26.880 this is a temporary calling for you. 00:22:26.960 --> 00:22:28.480 You'd really like to get married. 00:22:29.140 --> 00:22:32.220 You're praying that God would provide a spouse for you 00:22:32.220 --> 00:22:34.339 who is a Christian, 00:22:34.480 --> 00:22:37.019 who Paul describes in 1 Corinthians 7 00:22:37.019 --> 00:22:38.960 as somebody who belongs to the Lord. 00:22:40.160 --> 00:22:42.860 But whether you're a lifelong single 00:22:42.860 --> 00:22:44.339 or a temporary single, 00:22:45.279 --> 00:22:48.079 you are bearing witness to something. 00:22:48.940 --> 00:22:50.640 You're bearing witness in our midst 00:22:50.640 --> 00:22:53.480 to the fact that there's something greater than the self 00:22:53.480 --> 00:22:55.819 and there's something greater than marriage to live for, 00:22:56.319 --> 00:22:58.140 and that is the kingdom of heaven 00:22:58.140 --> 00:23:00.820 and the king of that kingdom, 00:23:01.000 --> 00:23:02.020 King Jesus. 00:23:03.440 --> 00:23:05.780 Well, what does it mean to be a single person 00:23:05.780 --> 00:23:08.640 and live for the kingdom of heaven above all else? 00:23:08.720 --> 00:23:10.200 Well, look at Jesus. 00:23:11.540 --> 00:23:14.800 Jesus made himself a eunuch for the kingdom of God. 00:23:15.620 --> 00:23:16.500 He never married, 00:23:16.940 --> 00:23:18.460 never had a romantic relationship, 00:23:18.800 --> 00:23:20.040 never experienced sex, 00:23:20.039 --> 00:23:22.940 and yet here is the greatest, wisest, 00:23:23.059 --> 00:23:25.460 most fully human and complete person 00:23:25.460 --> 00:23:26.920 who's ever lived. 00:23:27.899 --> 00:23:29.440 And Jesus is setting aside 00:23:29.440 --> 00:23:31.680 all of his desires for those things 00:23:31.680 --> 00:23:33.319 in order to give himself fully 00:23:33.319 --> 00:23:34.639 to working and praying 00:23:34.639 --> 00:23:36.379 that the kingdom of God 00:23:36.379 --> 00:23:38.240 would come on the earth as it is in heaven. 00:23:39.599 --> 00:23:41.279 And so Jesus is calling you 00:23:41.279 --> 00:23:43.279 as a single disciple 00:23:43.279 --> 00:23:46.420 to be complete and to be fulfilled in him 00:23:46.420 --> 00:23:47.759 and in his work. 00:23:48.759 --> 00:23:50.400 He's calling you as a single disciple 00:23:50.400 --> 00:23:53.500 to be a vital and essential member of the church, 00:23:53.500 --> 00:23:55.299 and he's calling you as a single disciple 00:23:55.299 --> 00:23:57.700 to use your capacity and your gifts 00:23:57.700 --> 00:23:59.879 to serve the king and his kingdom. 00:24:01.180 --> 00:24:01.579 And you know, 00:24:01.640 --> 00:24:03.839 if this single man named Jesus 00:24:03.839 --> 00:24:06.799 launched and nurtured a disciple community 00:24:06.799 --> 00:24:09.240 and he started and sustained a ministry, 00:24:09.759 --> 00:24:11.779 God can enable you as a single person 00:24:11.779 --> 00:24:12.680 to do that as well. 00:24:12.720 --> 00:24:13.359 And you might say, 00:24:13.759 --> 00:24:15.079 well, I'm not the son of God. 00:24:15.079 --> 00:24:19.199 Well, okay, what about Paul, 00:24:20.460 --> 00:24:22.720 Barnabas, Timothy? 00:24:23.679 --> 00:24:27.659 What about Tabitha and Lydia and Phoebe 00:24:27.659 --> 00:24:29.799 and all of these single men and women 00:24:29.799 --> 00:24:31.579 we meet in the New Testament 00:24:31.579 --> 00:24:35.519 who turn the Roman Empire upside down? 00:24:36.379 --> 00:24:39.659 God is calling you to be that kind of person. 00:24:40.259 --> 00:24:42.579 Now, how did they turn the Roman Empire upside down? 00:24:42.579 --> 00:24:45.399 First of all, they lived with moral integrity. 00:24:46.579 --> 00:24:48.279 They knew that saying yes to Jesus 00:24:48.279 --> 00:24:52.039 as a single person means saying no to sexual autonomy. 00:24:53.039 --> 00:24:55.559 And this is why Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 6, 00:24:55.639 --> 00:24:55.980 he says, 00:24:55.980 --> 00:24:57.839 flee from sexual immorality. 00:24:57.920 --> 00:25:00.099 That means run as hard as you can 00:25:00.099 --> 00:25:03.200 in the opposite direction of sexual immorality. 00:25:04.059 --> 00:25:04.539 And he says, 00:25:04.620 --> 00:25:06.160 do you not know that your bodies 00:25:06.160 --> 00:25:08.360 are temples of the Holy Spirit 00:25:08.360 --> 00:25:10.079 who is in you, 00:25:10.120 --> 00:25:11.720 whom you receive from God? 00:25:12.420 --> 00:25:13.819 You are not your own. 00:25:14.579 --> 00:25:16.120 You were bought at a price. 00:25:16.940 --> 00:25:19.559 Therefore, honor God with your bodies. 00:25:19.620 --> 00:25:21.099 Now, that sounds ridiculous, 00:25:22.319 --> 00:25:24.160 absolutely ridiculous to a culture 00:25:24.160 --> 00:25:25.800 that's bowing down to worship, 00:25:26.300 --> 00:25:27.420 romance, and sex. 00:25:28.340 --> 00:25:29.720 To a culture that says, 00:25:29.940 --> 00:25:30.259 you know, 00:25:30.500 --> 00:25:32.360 do whatever you want with your body. 00:25:32.560 --> 00:25:34.340 Put no limits on your desires. 00:25:34.519 --> 00:25:38.259 You cannot be a full human being without sex. 00:25:39.080 --> 00:25:40.640 But here's a single disciple 00:25:40.640 --> 00:25:42.000 named Paul 00:25:42.000 --> 00:25:43.060 who says, 00:25:43.120 --> 00:25:43.440 you know what? 00:25:43.440 --> 00:25:45.340 I don't belong to myself anymore. 00:25:46.320 --> 00:25:47.840 I'm not my own. 00:25:48.059 --> 00:25:50.320 I've been bought with the price 00:25:50.320 --> 00:25:53.140 of the blood of the Son of God 00:25:53.140 --> 00:25:56.000 and I'm filled with the Spirit of God, 00:25:56.080 --> 00:25:57.660 the Spirit of holiness. 00:25:59.500 --> 00:26:01.200 See, if you say, 00:26:01.360 --> 00:26:01.559 you know, 00:26:01.620 --> 00:26:03.799 I choose to be single and celibate 00:26:03.799 --> 00:26:05.660 for the sake of the kingdom of God 00:26:05.660 --> 00:26:08.019 because the sovereign rule 00:26:08.019 --> 00:26:10.180 of my crucified king 00:26:10.180 --> 00:26:11.460 is better than romance 00:26:11.460 --> 00:26:14.379 and the supreme reign 00:26:14.379 --> 00:26:16.240 of my risen Lord 00:26:16.240 --> 00:26:17.420 is better than sex, 00:26:18.039 --> 00:26:19.339 you're going to sound crazy. 00:26:20.720 --> 00:26:22.559 But Jesus sounded crazy 00:26:22.559 --> 00:26:25.299 and Paul sounded crazy. 00:26:26.799 --> 00:26:28.940 All of these New Testament Christians 00:26:28.940 --> 00:26:30.379 sounded crazy. 00:26:32.139 --> 00:26:32.500 Friends, 00:26:32.619 --> 00:26:34.279 God created sex 00:26:34.279 --> 00:26:35.160 to be enjoyed 00:26:35.160 --> 00:26:37.039 within male-female marriage 00:26:37.039 --> 00:26:38.619 where we can say 00:26:38.619 --> 00:26:39.399 to the other person, 00:26:39.539 --> 00:26:40.440 I belong to you 00:26:40.440 --> 00:26:42.180 completely and exclusively 00:26:42.180 --> 00:26:43.359 in a whole life 00:26:43.359 --> 00:26:44.779 permanent commitment. 00:26:45.019 --> 00:26:46.000 And if you're single 00:26:46.000 --> 00:26:47.139 and you're having sex 00:26:47.139 --> 00:26:48.339 with other people, 00:26:48.399 --> 00:26:49.680 you just can't say that. 00:26:50.639 --> 00:26:51.399 You can't say that. 00:26:51.460 --> 00:26:52.539 What you can say is, 00:26:52.720 --> 00:26:53.700 I give you my body 00:26:53.700 --> 00:26:54.819 but not my money. 00:26:55.960 --> 00:26:57.119 I give you my body 00:26:57.119 --> 00:26:58.039 but not my future. 00:26:58.139 --> 00:26:58.960 I give you my body 00:26:58.960 --> 00:27:00.779 but I don't give you my promise 00:27:00.779 --> 00:27:02.619 that when I get to know 00:27:02.619 --> 00:27:04.059 who you really are, 00:27:04.279 --> 00:27:05.920 I'm going to accept you 00:27:05.920 --> 00:27:07.599 and I'm not going to go anywhere 00:27:07.599 --> 00:27:10.420 and when all this chemistry wears off, 00:27:10.539 --> 00:27:12.720 I'm still going to be with you 00:27:12.720 --> 00:27:13.879 and even when this relationship 00:27:13.879 --> 00:27:15.019 isn't meeting my needs, 00:27:15.259 --> 00:27:16.839 I'm going to be your person. 00:27:16.960 --> 00:27:17.980 You can't say that. 00:27:19.619 --> 00:27:20.119 You see, 00:27:20.220 --> 00:27:21.259 it's very difficult 00:27:21.259 --> 00:27:23.500 to be a genuine, 00:27:23.779 --> 00:27:24.599 authentic follower 00:27:24.599 --> 00:27:25.639 of Jesus Christ 00:27:25.639 --> 00:27:27.559 and to hold on 00:27:27.559 --> 00:27:28.559 to your moral integrity 00:27:28.559 --> 00:27:29.660 and to maintain 00:27:29.660 --> 00:27:32.000 a credible Christian witness 00:27:32.000 --> 00:27:33.059 if you're practicing 00:27:33.059 --> 00:27:34.819 serial monogamy 00:27:34.819 --> 00:27:36.220 with the potential spouses 00:27:36.220 --> 00:27:37.440 of other people. 00:27:38.319 --> 00:27:39.200 That's the teaching 00:27:39.200 --> 00:27:39.859 of the New Testament. 00:27:40.019 --> 00:27:41.319 It's just very difficult 00:27:41.319 --> 00:27:42.380 to do that 00:27:42.380 --> 00:27:43.319 but here are these 00:27:43.319 --> 00:27:44.240 single disciples 00:27:44.240 --> 00:27:45.299 that I mentioned to you 00:27:45.299 --> 00:27:46.160 in the New Testament 00:27:46.160 --> 00:27:48.200 who committed themselves 00:27:48.200 --> 00:27:49.880 to the biblical sex ethic 00:27:49.880 --> 00:27:51.640 and they know 00:27:51.640 --> 00:27:52.980 that moral integrity 00:27:52.980 --> 00:27:55.200 means monogamous fidelity 00:27:55.200 --> 00:27:56.480 if you're a married disciple 00:27:56.480 --> 00:27:58.740 and celibate chastity 00:27:58.740 --> 00:27:59.980 if you're a single disciple 00:27:59.980 --> 00:28:01.700 whether you're opposite sex 00:28:01.700 --> 00:28:03.040 or same sex attracted. 00:28:03.039 --> 00:28:06.119 Now I know that not everyone 00:28:06.119 --> 00:28:07.839 believes that today. 00:28:10.980 --> 00:28:12.039 I know what I'm saying 00:28:12.039 --> 00:28:13.539 not everybody here believes. 00:28:14.980 --> 00:28:16.339 If you don't believe this 00:28:16.339 --> 00:28:17.680 we are so glad 00:28:17.680 --> 00:28:18.299 that you're here 00:28:18.299 --> 00:28:19.299 and I want to invite you 00:28:19.299 --> 00:28:21.139 to prayerfully study 00:28:21.139 --> 00:28:22.259 the scriptures with us 00:28:22.259 --> 00:28:24.259 and consider Jesus' 00:28:24.559 --> 00:28:27.079 better way of sexual sobriety. 00:28:28.259 --> 00:28:29.159 The Apostle Paul 00:28:29.159 --> 00:28:30.779 in the same text 00:28:30.779 --> 00:28:31.759 in 1 Corinthians 5 00:28:31.759 --> 00:28:32.079 he says, 00:28:32.079 --> 00:28:33.240 what business of mine 00:28:33.240 --> 00:28:34.220 is it to judge those 00:28:34.220 --> 00:28:35.199 outside the church? 00:28:35.279 --> 00:28:36.519 That's not what we're doing today. 00:28:37.339 --> 00:28:37.720 He says, 00:28:37.839 --> 00:28:38.859 but are we not to judge 00:28:38.859 --> 00:28:39.659 those inside? 00:28:39.859 --> 00:28:40.919 Are we not to call 00:28:40.919 --> 00:28:42.279 Jesus' disciples 00:28:42.279 --> 00:28:44.220 to walk in his way 00:28:44.220 --> 00:28:45.519 and trust in his truth 00:28:45.519 --> 00:28:47.460 and live his life? 00:28:47.539 --> 00:28:48.079 And that's why 00:28:48.079 --> 00:28:49.359 they turned the Roman Empire 00:28:49.359 --> 00:28:50.039 upside down. 00:28:50.159 --> 00:28:51.779 They lived with moral integrity 00:28:51.779 --> 00:28:53.379 and the second thing they did 00:28:53.379 --> 00:28:54.859 was they lived as a family. 00:28:55.899 --> 00:28:57.119 The primary metaphor 00:28:57.119 --> 00:28:58.179 of the church 00:28:58.179 --> 00:28:58.859 in the New Testament 00:28:58.859 --> 00:29:00.859 is of a spiritual family 00:29:00.859 --> 00:29:02.059 where God is our Father 00:29:02.059 --> 00:29:02.740 and Jesus 00:29:02.740 --> 00:29:04.339 is our elder brother 00:29:04.339 --> 00:29:05.779 and we are the siblings, 00:29:06.039 --> 00:29:07.039 the sisters and brothers 00:29:07.039 --> 00:29:07.559 of Christ 00:29:07.559 --> 00:29:09.519 who share in life together 00:29:09.519 --> 00:29:10.460 through the Holy Spirit. 00:29:10.700 --> 00:29:12.679 And when you read Paul's letters 00:29:12.679 --> 00:29:14.779 you hear this familial love 00:29:14.779 --> 00:29:15.720 and mutuality 00:29:15.720 --> 00:29:16.279 and dependence 00:29:16.279 --> 00:29:17.099 that he has 00:29:17.099 --> 00:29:18.639 for his brothers and sisters 00:29:18.639 --> 00:29:20.079 and what they have for them. 00:29:20.899 --> 00:29:22.039 And as I read those 00:29:22.039 --> 00:29:23.359 it's a challenge to me 00:29:23.359 --> 00:29:24.419 and it should be a challenge 00:29:24.419 --> 00:29:25.819 to married people here 00:29:25.819 --> 00:29:27.579 who define family 00:29:27.579 --> 00:29:29.480 as only your spouse and kids. 00:29:29.480 --> 00:29:31.839 because the New Testament 00:29:31.839 --> 00:29:33.200 calls us to look beyond 00:29:33.200 --> 00:29:34.680 our biological families 00:29:34.680 --> 00:29:36.400 to the larger spiritual family 00:29:36.400 --> 00:29:39.579 that's full of single disciples 00:29:39.579 --> 00:29:40.799 whether they're teenagers 00:29:40.799 --> 00:29:42.480 or whether they're in their 80s. 00:29:43.279 --> 00:29:44.559 And the question for us is 00:29:44.559 --> 00:29:46.079 are we opening our homes 00:29:46.079 --> 00:29:47.259 and having single people 00:29:47.259 --> 00:29:48.099 at our tables 00:29:48.099 --> 00:29:49.920 as part of our families? 00:29:50.960 --> 00:29:52.299 I know one married couple 00:29:52.299 --> 00:29:53.720 they come to church gatherings 00:29:53.720 --> 00:29:55.000 looking for those 00:29:55.000 --> 00:29:56.460 who have no one to sit with 00:29:56.460 --> 00:29:58.259 and they go and sit beside them. 00:29:58.360 --> 00:29:59.460 Are we willing to 00:29:59.460 --> 00:30:00.720 do this kind of thing 00:30:00.720 --> 00:30:02.120 to be family for those 00:30:02.120 --> 00:30:03.400 who like Jesus 00:30:03.400 --> 00:30:04.120 have chosen 00:30:04.120 --> 00:30:06.440 to be single and celibate 00:30:06.440 --> 00:30:07.039 for the sake 00:30:07.039 --> 00:30:08.559 of the kingdom of heaven? 00:30:10.319 --> 00:30:11.920 So Jesus builds his church 00:30:11.920 --> 00:30:12.880 on covenant marriage 00:30:12.880 --> 00:30:14.380 and on kingdom singleness. 00:30:15.759 --> 00:30:17.200 And I know I'm going 00:30:17.200 --> 00:30:18.140 a little longer today 00:30:18.140 --> 00:30:19.220 but I have one last thing 00:30:19.220 --> 00:30:20.539 I just have to say. 00:30:21.400 --> 00:30:22.019 And that's that Jesus 00:30:22.019 --> 00:30:23.039 builds his church 00:30:23.039 --> 00:30:24.240 on the grace gospel. 00:30:24.240 --> 00:30:26.400 He builds his church 00:30:26.400 --> 00:30:27.380 on the grace gospel. 00:30:28.680 --> 00:30:29.700 What do I hear? 00:30:30.059 --> 00:30:30.680 What do I do 00:30:30.680 --> 00:30:31.839 when I'm hearing 00:30:31.839 --> 00:30:34.200 Jesus' high and holy vision 00:30:34.200 --> 00:30:34.920 for what it means 00:30:34.920 --> 00:30:36.059 to be a single disciple? 00:30:37.319 --> 00:30:38.380 And I realize 00:30:38.380 --> 00:30:40.599 that in all my single years 00:30:40.599 --> 00:30:42.740 I fell short of that vision. 00:30:44.259 --> 00:30:46.700 When I read Paul's words 00:30:46.700 --> 00:30:48.140 to a single man named Timothy 00:30:48.140 --> 00:30:48.960 and he says, 00:30:49.140 --> 00:30:50.200 you man of God 00:30:50.200 --> 00:30:52.279 flee the concerns of this world 00:30:52.279 --> 00:30:53.480 and pursue righteousness, 00:30:53.819 --> 00:30:55.579 godliness, faith, love, 00:30:55.680 --> 00:30:56.720 endurance, and gentleness 00:30:56.720 --> 00:30:57.559 and I look back 00:30:57.559 --> 00:30:58.539 on my singleness 00:30:58.539 --> 00:30:59.019 and I say, 00:30:59.119 --> 00:31:00.139 man, I wasted time. 00:31:01.160 --> 00:31:02.680 I squandered my energy. 00:31:02.839 --> 00:31:03.960 I failed to discipline 00:31:03.960 --> 00:31:04.899 my desires. 00:31:05.000 --> 00:31:05.740 What do I do? 00:31:06.839 --> 00:31:07.639 Or what do I do 00:31:07.639 --> 00:31:08.539 when I hear Jesus' 00:31:08.720 --> 00:31:09.920 high and holy vision 00:31:09.920 --> 00:31:11.220 of married disciples 00:31:11.220 --> 00:31:11.940 and I realize 00:31:11.940 --> 00:31:14.779 how far short I fall? 00:31:15.799 --> 00:31:17.339 He says in Ephesians 5, 00:31:17.440 --> 00:31:18.039 Paul says, 00:31:18.240 --> 00:31:19.420 husbands love your wives 00:31:19.420 --> 00:31:21.320 just as Christ loved the church 00:31:21.320 --> 00:31:23.320 and gave himself up for her, 00:31:24.160 --> 00:31:24.900 that's not me. 00:31:26.400 --> 00:31:27.500 So often I find 00:31:27.500 --> 00:31:28.380 what Moses 00:31:28.380 --> 00:31:29.700 and what Jesus describes 00:31:29.700 --> 00:31:30.259 in this text 00:31:30.259 --> 00:31:31.720 is hardness of heart 00:31:31.720 --> 00:31:33.320 toward my spouse. 00:31:34.060 --> 00:31:35.120 So often I find 00:31:35.120 --> 00:31:36.380 self-love 00:31:36.380 --> 00:31:37.740 rather than self-giving. 00:31:38.080 --> 00:31:39.259 I don't want to 00:31:39.259 --> 00:31:40.519 sacrifice myself 00:31:40.519 --> 00:31:41.240 or suffer 00:31:41.240 --> 00:31:42.680 in order that my wife 00:31:42.680 --> 00:31:43.600 might flourish. 00:31:45.060 --> 00:31:46.120 What do I do then? 00:31:46.380 --> 00:31:47.420 Is anybody like me? 00:31:47.420 --> 00:31:47.800 You're like, 00:31:47.900 --> 00:31:48.060 man, 00:31:48.140 --> 00:31:50.340 I fall so far short 00:31:50.340 --> 00:31:51.640 of Jesus' vision 00:31:51.640 --> 00:31:52.920 for his disciples. 00:31:53.580 --> 00:31:54.580 Anybody feeling that today? 00:31:55.460 --> 00:31:56.539 I want to take you 00:31:56.539 --> 00:31:57.160 to a story 00:31:57.160 --> 00:31:58.460 in the Gospel of John 00:31:58.460 --> 00:31:59.160 chapter 8 00:31:59.160 --> 00:32:01.100 because it shows us 00:32:01.100 --> 00:32:02.120 how Jesus relates 00:32:02.120 --> 00:32:02.820 to broken 00:32:02.820 --> 00:32:04.700 and condemned people. 00:32:05.539 --> 00:32:06.720 And the story is this, 00:32:07.160 --> 00:32:08.180 that there's a man 00:32:08.180 --> 00:32:09.000 and a woman 00:32:09.000 --> 00:32:11.039 and they sin against God 00:32:11.039 --> 00:32:12.700 through a sexual relationship 00:32:12.700 --> 00:32:14.100 with one another 00:32:14.100 --> 00:32:15.000 that they're not married 00:32:15.000 --> 00:32:15.680 to each other. 00:32:15.680 --> 00:32:17.960 and that relationship 00:32:17.960 --> 00:32:19.140 wrecks their families. 00:32:19.480 --> 00:32:20.380 It brings shame 00:32:20.380 --> 00:32:20.960 on themselves, 00:32:21.180 --> 00:32:22.140 shame on their communities 00:32:22.140 --> 00:32:24.220 and these pious men, 00:32:24.340 --> 00:32:25.039 they come along 00:32:25.039 --> 00:32:25.880 and they want to take 00:32:25.880 --> 00:32:27.060 the shame of this woman 00:32:27.060 --> 00:32:27.759 in particular 00:32:27.759 --> 00:32:29.500 out into the public. 00:32:29.620 --> 00:32:29.900 They say, 00:32:29.960 --> 00:32:30.100 well, 00:32:30.220 --> 00:32:31.019 she's broken 00:32:31.019 --> 00:32:32.400 the law of God 00:32:32.400 --> 00:32:33.860 and they've done 00:32:33.860 --> 00:32:34.820 this shameful act 00:32:34.820 --> 00:32:36.039 and they've engaged 00:32:36.039 --> 00:32:37.860 in this condemnable conduct. 00:32:39.220 --> 00:32:39.799 And you know, 00:32:39.860 --> 00:32:40.320 these guys, 00:32:40.460 --> 00:32:41.140 they're not wrong. 00:32:42.299 --> 00:32:43.680 They're actually quite right 00:32:43.680 --> 00:32:45.240 about the word of God. 00:32:45.680 --> 00:32:46.779 But the problem is 00:32:46.779 --> 00:32:48.220 that they're full of truth 00:32:48.220 --> 00:32:50.640 but they're not full of grace. 00:32:50.740 --> 00:32:51.500 They're full of truth 00:32:51.500 --> 00:32:52.900 but they're lacking in grace. 00:32:54.060 --> 00:32:55.220 And Jesus comes along 00:32:55.220 --> 00:32:55.980 and gets involved 00:32:55.980 --> 00:32:56.700 and he says, 00:32:56.840 --> 00:32:56.940 well, 00:32:57.000 --> 00:32:57.560 how about this? 00:32:57.640 --> 00:32:58.580 Let's let the one 00:32:58.580 --> 00:33:00.140 who is without sin 00:33:00.140 --> 00:33:01.259 be the first in line 00:33:01.259 --> 00:33:02.500 to condemn this person. 00:33:03.539 --> 00:33:04.460 And one by one, 00:33:04.519 --> 00:33:06.039 these men start to walk away 00:33:06.039 --> 00:33:07.660 and Jesus is left alone 00:33:07.660 --> 00:33:08.600 with her 00:33:08.600 --> 00:33:09.940 and he simply says to her 00:33:09.940 --> 00:33:10.539 two things. 00:33:10.620 --> 00:33:11.060 He says, 00:33:11.059 --> 00:33:12.899 I do not condemn you. 00:33:13.720 --> 00:33:15.259 Now leave your life of sin. 00:33:16.440 --> 00:33:17.079 He says, 00:33:17.119 --> 00:33:18.279 I do not condemn you. 00:33:18.940 --> 00:33:20.759 Now leave your life of sin. 00:33:20.779 --> 00:33:22.359 And the order of those two sentences 00:33:22.359 --> 00:33:24.279 is absolutely crucial. 00:33:24.399 --> 00:33:25.419 If you reverse the order 00:33:25.419 --> 00:33:26.119 of those sentences, 00:33:26.319 --> 00:33:27.659 you lose the grace gospel 00:33:27.659 --> 00:33:29.700 and you lose Jesus himself. 00:33:29.919 --> 00:33:31.059 Jesus does not say, 00:33:31.539 --> 00:33:32.579 leave your life of sin 00:33:32.579 --> 00:33:33.519 so that I won't need 00:33:33.519 --> 00:33:34.299 to condemn you. 00:33:35.919 --> 00:33:36.659 With Jesus, 00:33:36.779 --> 00:33:38.220 it's always grace first, 00:33:38.399 --> 00:33:39.419 love first, 00:33:39.420 --> 00:33:40.500 which establishes 00:33:40.500 --> 00:33:41.220 an environment 00:33:41.220 --> 00:33:42.100 in which we can have 00:33:42.100 --> 00:33:42.860 a conversation 00:33:42.860 --> 00:33:44.100 about morality 00:33:44.100 --> 00:33:45.080 and ethics. 00:33:45.200 --> 00:33:46.400 I do not condemn you. 00:33:46.640 --> 00:33:48.740 Now leave your life of sin. 00:33:48.779 --> 00:33:50.480 It's not our repentance 00:33:50.480 --> 00:33:51.960 that leads to God's kindness. 00:33:52.279 --> 00:33:52.539 No. 00:33:53.180 --> 00:33:54.440 The apostle Paul tells us 00:33:54.440 --> 00:33:55.160 in Romans 2, 00:33:55.240 --> 00:33:56.680 he says it's God's kindness 00:33:56.680 --> 00:33:59.500 that leads to our repentance. 00:34:00.920 --> 00:34:03.340 How can Jesus get away 00:34:03.340 --> 00:34:04.500 with not condemning 00:34:04.500 --> 00:34:05.640 this woman 00:34:05.640 --> 00:34:06.480 and this man 00:34:06.480 --> 00:34:07.060 and this couple? 00:34:07.160 --> 00:34:07.840 How can he get away 00:34:07.839 --> 00:34:08.779 with not condemning 00:34:08.779 --> 00:34:10.179 any of us today? 00:34:11.400 --> 00:34:12.299 Does he just play 00:34:12.299 --> 00:34:13.299 fast and loose 00:34:13.299 --> 00:34:13.980 with the scriptures? 00:34:15.239 --> 00:34:16.679 Does he just disregard 00:34:16.679 --> 00:34:18.099 God's moral law? 00:34:19.119 --> 00:34:20.199 Does he just shrug 00:34:20.199 --> 00:34:20.759 his shoulders 00:34:20.759 --> 00:34:21.739 at our sin 00:34:21.739 --> 00:34:23.059 and say it's no big deal? 00:34:24.039 --> 00:34:24.539 No. 00:34:24.699 --> 00:34:25.380 Jesus knows 00:34:25.380 --> 00:34:26.099 that someone 00:34:26.099 --> 00:34:27.259 must be condemned 00:34:27.259 --> 00:34:29.219 and that's why 00:34:29.219 --> 00:34:30.319 he came from heaven 00:34:30.319 --> 00:34:30.900 to earth. 00:34:32.000 --> 00:34:33.000 On his way 00:34:33.000 --> 00:34:33.659 to the cross, 00:34:33.779 --> 00:34:35.319 Jesus is piling up 00:34:35.320 --> 00:34:36.539 on his shoulders 00:34:36.539 --> 00:34:38.660 all the selfishness 00:34:38.660 --> 00:34:39.740 in my marriage, 00:34:40.780 --> 00:34:42.840 all of the self-centeredness 00:34:42.840 --> 00:34:44.120 in your singleness. 00:34:44.780 --> 00:34:46.460 He's piling up 00:34:46.460 --> 00:34:47.220 on himself 00:34:47.220 --> 00:34:48.880 all of our wrecked marriages, 00:34:49.320 --> 00:34:51.820 all of our infidelities, 00:34:52.519 --> 00:34:53.840 all of our addictions, 00:34:54.100 --> 00:34:56.260 all of our serial monogamy, 00:34:56.420 --> 00:34:58.380 all of our sexual immorality. 00:34:58.380 --> 00:34:59.019 It's all getting 00:34:59.019 --> 00:35:00.000 piled up 00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:01.119 upon Jesus 00:35:01.119 --> 00:35:01.780 and there 00:35:01.780 --> 00:35:02.980 in our place 00:35:02.980 --> 00:35:05.260 and as our substitute, 00:35:05.820 --> 00:35:07.119 he stood condemned 00:35:07.119 --> 00:35:08.160 on his cross, 00:35:09.260 --> 00:35:10.640 bearing in his body 00:35:10.640 --> 00:35:12.599 our condemnation. 00:35:13.960 --> 00:35:14.420 And friends, 00:35:14.480 --> 00:35:15.519 to be a Christian 00:35:15.519 --> 00:35:17.220 is to hear 00:35:17.220 --> 00:35:18.039 the crucified 00:35:18.039 --> 00:35:18.960 yet resurrected 00:35:18.960 --> 00:35:19.400 Jesus 00:35:19.400 --> 00:35:20.579 say to you, 00:35:21.460 --> 00:35:22.800 I do not condemn you. 00:35:24.039 --> 00:35:25.320 Now leave your life 00:35:25.320 --> 00:35:25.760 of sin. 00:35:28.460 --> 00:35:30.059 I do not condemn you. 00:35:30.940 --> 00:35:32.580 Now leave your life 00:35:32.580 --> 00:35:33.360 of sin. 00:35:34.420 --> 00:35:36.000 Jesus is full of grace 00:35:36.000 --> 00:35:38.080 and he's full of truth 00:35:38.080 --> 00:35:39.820 and he wants us 00:35:39.820 --> 00:35:40.580 to create 00:35:40.580 --> 00:35:41.340 an environment 00:35:41.340 --> 00:35:42.120 like that 00:35:42.120 --> 00:35:43.559 in his church. 00:35:43.720 --> 00:35:44.860 We do not condemn you. 00:35:45.820 --> 00:35:47.280 We do not condemn you. 00:35:48.160 --> 00:35:48.920 Now let's have 00:35:48.920 --> 00:35:49.580 a conversation 00:35:49.580 --> 00:35:50.720 about God's law 00:35:50.720 --> 00:35:52.220 and ethics 00:35:52.220 --> 00:35:53.400 and obedience 00:35:53.400 --> 00:35:54.340 as his disciples. 00:35:54.340 --> 00:35:55.380 let's talk about 00:35:55.380 --> 00:35:56.700 leaving our lives 00:35:56.700 --> 00:35:57.420 full of sin. 00:35:58.820 --> 00:35:59.860 Jesus is full of 00:35:59.860 --> 00:36:00.840 grace and truth 00:36:00.840 --> 00:36:02.840 and he wants a church 00:36:02.840 --> 00:36:04.200 that's full of grace 00:36:04.200 --> 00:36:06.660 and full of truth. 00:36:07.640 --> 00:36:09.100 May God enable us 00:36:09.100 --> 00:36:11.440 to walk this very 00:36:11.440 --> 00:36:12.740 fine line 00:36:12.740 --> 00:36:14.840 following behind 00:36:14.840 --> 00:36:16.200 our Lord Jesus 00:36:16.200 --> 00:36:17.200 in the name of the Father, 00:36:17.360 --> 00:36:18.240 Son, and Holy Spirit. 00:36:18.860 --> 00:36:19.100 Amen. 00:36:19.100 --> 00:36:19.260 Amen.