WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:09.660 Flourishing family life. Occasionally in our home we have what we call a bits and pieces tea. 00:00:10.380 --> 00:00:14.280 And basically what we do then is it's a kind of random assortment of all the stuff that's been 00:00:14.280 --> 00:00:19.820 left over from previous meals. You know, the two rogue sausages that are sitting in the freezer, 00:00:20.480 --> 00:00:25.699 the kind of margarine tub filled with bolognese sauce, a bit of cheese, and we just stick it all 00:00:25.699 --> 00:00:31.100 out as a way of kind of using up all the odds and ends that have been sitting about in the fridge 00:00:31.100 --> 00:00:36.719 and in the freezer. And there's a sense in which this talk on family is going to be a bit like that. 00:00:37.079 --> 00:00:44.000 It's going to be an assortment of different points that have occurred to me about family life. Some 00:00:44.000 --> 00:00:50.340 are going to be very direct biblical points. Some are going to be, I hope, common grace observations. 00:00:50.340 --> 00:00:57.560 And some of the applications are going to be based on the trials and errors of my personal experience. 00:00:58.080 --> 00:01:04.000 So a bit like that family tea, some bits might be a bit more nutritious than others. Some might be a 00:01:04.000 --> 00:01:10.879 bit more to your taste than others. So to mix the metaphors, there's an element in which as I kind of 00:01:10.879 --> 00:01:18.500 put stuff out, if the cap fits, wear it. If not, feel free just to leave it behind. So we don't have a 00:01:18.500 --> 00:01:22.859 main Bible reading tonight because we're going to do a bit of a Bible study and we're going to pick up 00:01:22.859 --> 00:01:30.640 on some of the places where family is talked about in the Bible. In terms of my own credentials, 00:01:31.280 --> 00:01:39.219 just my own family situation, there's a picture of my wife and three children being married for 21 years. 00:01:39.620 --> 00:01:45.200 I think that picture's about two years old now, but we have three children, a daughter who is 16, 00:01:45.200 --> 00:01:52.120 and two boys who are now 14 and 10. So I suppose I've got a bit of experience in terms of bringing 00:01:52.120 --> 00:01:58.240 up kids and going through some of the phases, particularly of early family life. But I want 00:01:58.240 --> 00:02:04.800 to be very clear that I am not a specialist on family life. I'm not standing here pretending in 00:02:04.800 --> 00:02:11.360 any sense to be some kind of guru on the issue of bringing up your children. But I have been asked 00:02:11.360 --> 00:02:17.980 to speak on this subject of flourishing family life. Now, as regards the word family, of course, 00:02:18.020 --> 00:02:25.200 we can think about that in a number of ways. We can use it to describe any grouping where the parts 00:02:25.200 --> 00:02:33.040 have a strong connection to each other. So I talk about the FIEC family of churches quite a lot as I go 00:02:33.040 --> 00:02:39.860 around. Indeed, the Bible itself describes the bonds between Christians as being familial, 00:02:39.860 --> 00:02:46.760 that is of a family nature. Our Christian relationships to one another are described 00:02:46.760 --> 00:02:55.860 in the New Testament in family terms. If you go to, put my glasses on here, usually I can see 00:02:55.860 --> 00:03:02.460 things that are that far back, but I'll just get the copy at the moment. But if you look, for example, 00:03:02.460 --> 00:03:10.879 that well-known passage in 1 Timothy, Paul writes to that New Testament pastor overseeing that church 00:03:10.879 --> 00:03:12.040 in Ephesus, and he says, 00:03:12.180 --> 00:03:18.659 Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father. Treat younger men as brothers, 00:03:18.900 --> 00:03:27.260 old women as mothers, and young women as sisters with absolute purity. You see, he's describing 00:03:27.259 --> 00:03:35.259 our relationships within the church as Christians in family terms. Because the spiritual reality is 00:03:35.259 --> 00:03:43.359 that as Christians, we are part of one family. We are part of God's family. Whether we like it or not, 00:03:43.439 --> 00:03:49.799 we are related to each other in Christ. That is just true. That is just a fact if you're a Christian 00:03:49.800 --> 00:03:59.180 here tonight. So Paul uses this domestic template of family life to instruct us and to help us to 00:03:59.180 --> 00:04:07.880 understand what he wants our church family life to look like. And if church family is in some sense to 00:04:07.880 --> 00:04:17.180 reflect domestic family life, then our domestic family model ought to be a good one. It will help us. 00:04:17.180 --> 00:04:23.900 The better our domestic family model is to know then how to conduct ourselves and to relate to each 00:04:23.900 --> 00:04:30.400 other within a local church family, to set a good example to each other. Now, of course, this is a 00:04:30.400 --> 00:04:37.439 two-way street, isn't it? Both our church family and our domestic family should inform each other. 00:04:38.379 --> 00:04:45.220 They should be a good example to each other. They should be mutually strengthening. But the main focus 00:04:45.220 --> 00:04:50.680 of the time that we have this evening will be on the domestic family, domestic family life. 00:04:51.120 --> 00:04:57.820 Take that as the subject in mind in the context of the series that you've been doing. The family, 00:04:58.280 --> 00:05:07.980 typically of mum and or dad and children. It's a family that most of us either grew up in or perhaps 00:05:07.980 --> 00:05:14.319 are bringing up now. And it's the family that if we weren't brought up in that environment, 00:05:14.319 --> 00:05:22.000 I think most of us would nonetheless want it for our own children if we are to have that blessing. 00:05:23.200 --> 00:05:30.439 It's the family which has historically been described as the basic unit or building block of society, 00:05:30.439 --> 00:05:39.100 sometimes said in the wedding ceremony about the family being that basic component of human society 00:05:39.100 --> 00:05:46.420 as the primary place of nurture for children. The place where we will learn our most basic values 00:05:46.420 --> 00:05:57.180 and behaviours. The environment that more than any other in human terms that will shape us and form us. 00:05:57.180 --> 00:06:06.660 Now the biblical model, the biblical ideal for the family begins with a man and a woman united in marriage. 00:06:07.220 --> 00:06:14.480 We go to Genesis. We get that creational template, don't we? Genesis chapter 1. 00:06:15.399 --> 00:06:20.759 Male and female, he created them. God blessed them and said to them, 00:06:20.759 --> 00:06:26.300 be fruitful and increase in number. In other words, go and have children. 00:06:27.180 --> 00:06:35.360 Fill the earth and subdue it. And then later on in Genesis chapter 2 when we have the account of Eve being formed 00:06:35.360 --> 00:06:38.500 and Adam and Eve being placed together in the garden. 00:06:41.500 --> 00:06:43.660 Genesis 2.25 tells us, 00:06:43.660 --> 00:06:48.560 For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, 00:06:48.860 --> 00:06:51.560 and they will become one flesh. 00:06:51.560 --> 00:06:57.680 Very clear in the Bible and throughout the Bible that God's context for family life, 00:06:57.680 --> 00:07:03.660 for bringing up children is that environment of a mother and a father united together. 00:07:05.240 --> 00:07:13.620 Male and female, equal but crucially different and complementary in what they bring to the family, 00:07:14.540 --> 00:07:16.800 committed to each other for life. 00:07:16.800 --> 00:07:20.939 Just as Adam was not complete on his own in the garden, 00:07:21.680 --> 00:07:27.180 a family in that sense is not totally complete without those partners. 00:07:28.000 --> 00:07:30.860 Now please, please don't mishear me at this point. 00:07:32.000 --> 00:07:35.360 My own wider family, two of my sisters are divorced. 00:07:36.139 --> 00:07:37.500 One is a single parent. 00:07:38.400 --> 00:07:40.580 I have Christian friends who have been bereaved. 00:07:40.579 --> 00:07:44.879 And if you are in that situation or have been through that situation, 00:07:44.879 --> 00:07:52.439 you certainly don't need me or anyone else telling you how painful and traumatic and scarring that experience is. 00:07:53.300 --> 00:07:55.039 We live in a fallen world. 00:07:56.060 --> 00:07:58.939 Many families do not have a united mum and dad. 00:08:00.479 --> 00:08:03.740 All of us need to be very humble and sensitive to that fact. 00:08:04.759 --> 00:08:08.439 But equally we recognise the sadness of those situations. 00:08:08.439 --> 00:08:10.319 We would wish it to be otherwise. 00:08:11.980 --> 00:08:15.860 We would want ideally those situations to be different. 00:08:17.120 --> 00:08:22.819 Because we know the pain and difficulties that arise when the biblical model isn't in place. 00:08:24.199 --> 00:08:29.159 Where we recognise why the Bible model is such a precious gift from God. 00:08:29.160 --> 00:08:38.779 Actually it's in those very situations that being in a church family is such a blessing and help to us. 00:08:39.860 --> 00:08:43.759 I'm very blessed to be married to a godly wife, Jessica. 00:08:44.620 --> 00:08:47.139 And I have, as I mentioned, a 16 year old daughter. 00:08:48.180 --> 00:08:53.279 And I'm very blessed particularly because my wife is such a great example to my daughter 00:08:53.279 --> 00:08:55.840 of what a godly woman looks like. 00:08:55.840 --> 00:09:00.759 My daughter can observe that every day. 00:09:02.879 --> 00:09:04.660 With the best will in the world, 00:09:05.460 --> 00:09:10.639 I am never going to be able to model to my daughter what a godly woman looks like. 00:09:12.820 --> 00:09:16.820 But suppose, Lord forbid, that Jessica wasn't there. 00:09:16.820 --> 00:09:26.780 My daughter would still have lots of wonderful examples of godly women in the local church to observe. 00:09:29.020 --> 00:09:34.300 Indeed, that's exactly what Paul calls for in Titus chapter 2. 00:09:35.860 --> 00:09:37.480 It says of the older women, 00:09:37.580 --> 00:09:40.760 they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children. 00:09:41.780 --> 00:09:43.120 And he mentions the men as well. 00:09:43.120 --> 00:09:46.080 Well, similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled. 00:09:46.639 --> 00:09:50.639 And everything set them example by doing what is good. 00:09:51.840 --> 00:09:55.960 You may be bringing up boys and they don't have a Christian dad around. 00:09:56.100 --> 00:09:58.019 They don't have that kind of role model. 00:09:59.899 --> 00:10:04.480 Well, at church there are men who can, in part, make up for that. 00:10:04.480 --> 00:10:08.340 So Christian men, just as an aside, 00:10:09.240 --> 00:10:13.360 don't vacate Sunday school and youth work and just leave it to the ladies. 00:10:14.320 --> 00:10:17.420 You're needed more than ever in those ministries today. 00:10:18.480 --> 00:10:22.159 Our young boys in church, our young men, 00:10:22.240 --> 00:10:27.120 need to see Christian men living out the Christian life, 00:10:27.259 --> 00:10:28.519 taking on those responsibilities, 00:10:28.519 --> 00:10:32.199 and having those role models and examples before them. 00:10:33.220 --> 00:10:36.220 And not to think that Christian ministry is just what the women do 00:10:36.220 --> 00:10:38.939 when they come to church. 00:10:41.899 --> 00:10:44.699 Now, those are some general background observations. 00:10:45.860 --> 00:10:49.659 Let me move on to some maybe more practical suggestions. 00:10:49.799 --> 00:10:52.059 But I do this with a cautionary note. 00:10:52.059 --> 00:10:55.419 Because there are general principles, 00:10:55.579 --> 00:10:58.719 clear principles that we get from Scripture, 00:10:59.519 --> 00:11:04.399 such as prayer and sharing God's words. 00:11:05.059 --> 00:11:08.799 So, for example, if we look at Deuteronomy, chapter 6, 00:11:11.759 --> 00:11:12.859 Israel is commanded. 00:11:13.879 --> 00:11:15.379 Israel's parents are commanded. 00:11:15.559 --> 00:11:17.799 These commandments that I give you today 00:11:17.799 --> 00:11:19.719 are to be upon your hearts. 00:11:19.720 --> 00:11:23.600 This is the law, all of God revealed word to them. 00:11:25.000 --> 00:11:26.440 Impress them on your children. 00:11:26.759 --> 00:11:28.700 Talk about them when you sit at home 00:11:28.700 --> 00:11:30.720 and when you walk along the road, 00:11:30.920 --> 00:11:33.540 when you lie down and when you get up. 00:11:34.440 --> 00:11:35.820 This is a commandment, 00:11:35.980 --> 00:11:40.840 an exhortation that family life should be saturated in God's words. 00:11:44.259 --> 00:11:46.200 Clear call of Scripture. 00:11:46.200 --> 00:11:50.020 But I don't want to be too prescriptive, 00:11:50.100 --> 00:11:51.120 on the other hand, 00:11:51.520 --> 00:11:54.180 in exactly how parents do that. 00:11:54.480 --> 00:11:58.600 Yes, the word of God should be central in our family lives. 00:11:59.400 --> 00:12:03.200 But the New Testament isn't highly detailed or prescriptive 00:12:03.759 --> 00:12:06.900 about the precise organization of family life. 00:12:07.900 --> 00:12:11.300 It doesn't give us a timetable for family devotions 00:12:11.299 --> 00:12:14.879 or for bedtimes, for that matter. 00:12:15.659 --> 00:12:17.939 Because, of course, all families are different. 00:12:19.740 --> 00:12:22.399 There are families that are small and tidy. 00:12:23.559 --> 00:12:25.679 There are some that are just big and messy. 00:12:27.039 --> 00:12:29.539 Some are blended, as they say today, 00:12:29.659 --> 00:12:30.919 with the challenges of that. 00:12:32.219 --> 00:12:34.079 Parents from different families 00:12:34.080 --> 00:12:36.340 have different working patterns 00:12:36.340 --> 00:12:38.220 that affect the routines 00:12:38.220 --> 00:12:42.300 and the calendar of family life. 00:12:43.379 --> 00:12:45.100 If you have kids, 00:12:45.259 --> 00:12:47.680 you'll know that what works with one kid 00:12:47.680 --> 00:12:51.180 doesn't necessarily work with another kid. 00:12:51.500 --> 00:12:52.840 Think of discipline, for example. 00:12:54.340 --> 00:12:56.060 And if that's true within a family, 00:12:57.100 --> 00:12:59.340 then all the more between separate families. 00:12:59.340 --> 00:13:04.519 I grew up in a big non-Christian family. 00:13:05.139 --> 00:13:07.440 I was the youngest of six children. 00:13:08.800 --> 00:13:12.379 Both of my parents had drink problems. 00:13:12.500 --> 00:13:14.660 My mother eventually went to Alcoholics Anonymous. 00:13:15.980 --> 00:13:18.660 Growing up in my house as the youngest, 00:13:19.200 --> 00:13:23.080 there was all sorts of stuff went on. 00:13:23.180 --> 00:13:24.620 There was teenage pregnancy. 00:13:25.040 --> 00:13:25.980 There were affairs. 00:13:26.220 --> 00:13:27.480 There were debt problems. 00:13:27.480 --> 00:13:29.399 Remember there was a fist fight 00:13:29.399 --> 00:13:30.700 in the hall on one occasion. 00:13:31.340 --> 00:13:32.860 It was all very chaotic. 00:13:34.259 --> 00:13:34.960 Sometimes I say, 00:13:35.060 --> 00:13:36.000 what a Christmas that was. 00:13:37.779 --> 00:13:39.899 But it was reassuring then to find out 00:13:39.899 --> 00:13:41.980 that when I became a Christian in my teens, 00:13:42.720 --> 00:13:44.279 that the Bible is actually full 00:13:44.279 --> 00:13:45.779 of dysfunctional families. 00:13:47.420 --> 00:13:49.580 But God's grace is big enough 00:13:49.580 --> 00:13:52.899 to work and to bring good out 00:13:52.899 --> 00:13:55.440 even in those kind of families. 00:13:55.440 --> 00:13:59.560 Think of Jacob with his 12 sons 00:13:59.560 --> 00:14:00.840 from four different mothers, 00:14:01.360 --> 00:14:02.400 all at loggerheads. 00:14:03.280 --> 00:14:05.960 David, a family riven with jealousies 00:14:05.960 --> 00:14:07.480 and rebellions against him. 00:14:09.860 --> 00:14:12.020 Well, you know, if God could save me 00:14:12.020 --> 00:14:16.240 randomly from my big messy family 00:14:16.240 --> 00:14:18.160 by sending a Christian group 00:14:18.160 --> 00:14:19.420 into my primary school, 00:14:19.419 --> 00:14:22.659 and if he could then save my atheist mother, 00:14:23.339 --> 00:14:24.799 as she was very adamantly 00:14:24.799 --> 00:14:26.740 throughout my teenage years, 00:14:27.339 --> 00:14:29.000 she used to come to some Christian activities, 00:14:29.219 --> 00:14:30.120 you know, the parents' nights, 00:14:30.219 --> 00:14:30.939 that kind of stuff, 00:14:31.019 --> 00:14:32.339 and whenever they prayed, 00:14:32.539 --> 00:14:33.979 she would just sit bolt upright, 00:14:34.339 --> 00:14:34.959 looking about, 00:14:35.179 --> 00:14:37.059 having nothing to do with this nonsense. 00:14:37.059 --> 00:14:40.339 But if he could save her in her 70s, 00:14:40.619 --> 00:14:43.299 if he could save my sister out of the blue 00:14:43.299 --> 00:14:44.539 just two weeks ago, 00:14:45.759 --> 00:14:46.799 then let me say there's hope 00:14:46.799 --> 00:14:48.639 for all our families. 00:14:48.819 --> 00:14:50.059 There's hope for your family, 00:14:50.459 --> 00:14:52.839 no matter how messy and dysfunctional 00:14:52.839 --> 00:14:54.879 it might appear to be. 00:14:55.519 --> 00:14:57.459 Don't despair if your family feels 00:14:57.459 --> 00:14:59.119 a little bit all over the place, 00:14:59.259 --> 00:15:00.159 spiritually speaking. 00:15:01.159 --> 00:15:03.199 God's grace in families 00:15:03.199 --> 00:15:06.319 is greater and far more active 00:15:06.319 --> 00:15:07.799 than we think. 00:15:10.759 --> 00:15:11.839 That said, 00:15:12.679 --> 00:15:15.299 God's grace doesn't leave us floundering, 00:15:15.399 --> 00:15:15.719 does it? 00:15:17.019 --> 00:15:19.319 It comes to us to help to move us 00:15:19.319 --> 00:15:20.199 and our families 00:15:20.199 --> 00:15:23.059 onto being better families. 00:15:24.059 --> 00:15:25.360 God's grace is always given 00:15:25.360 --> 00:15:27.740 to help us to be the people, 00:15:28.539 --> 00:15:30.120 to be the mums and the dads, 00:15:30.159 --> 00:15:33.019 that reflect God's good model 00:15:33.019 --> 00:15:34.039 of family life 00:15:34.039 --> 00:15:35.559 more and more 00:15:35.559 --> 00:15:37.299 as we go through life. 00:15:38.319 --> 00:15:39.000 And because, of course, 00:15:39.079 --> 00:15:41.240 God is the architect of family life, 00:15:41.939 --> 00:15:42.799 then his model, 00:15:42.919 --> 00:15:43.579 his template, 00:15:43.860 --> 00:15:45.159 is the best one. 00:15:45.219 --> 00:15:46.059 It's for our good. 00:15:46.419 --> 00:15:47.679 It's the one in which our families 00:15:47.679 --> 00:15:49.480 will be most satisfied 00:15:49.480 --> 00:15:50.699 and most complete. 00:15:53.139 --> 00:15:54.679 Now, I've mentioned that families 00:15:54.679 --> 00:15:55.519 are different, 00:15:55.659 --> 00:15:57.639 so I don't want to be overly prescriptive 00:15:57.639 --> 00:15:58.720 in terms of applications. 00:16:00.159 --> 00:16:02.259 There's no one-size-fits-all 00:16:02.259 --> 00:16:05.740 in terms of the precise timetables 00:16:05.740 --> 00:16:06.539 and arrangements 00:16:06.539 --> 00:16:09.199 that an individual family might make. 00:16:09.839 --> 00:16:11.639 Equally, families go through 00:16:11.639 --> 00:16:12.600 different phases 00:16:12.600 --> 00:16:14.919 and you have to adjust 00:16:14.919 --> 00:16:16.139 as you go through 00:16:16.139 --> 00:16:17.159 those different phases, 00:16:17.259 --> 00:16:17.679 don't you, 00:16:17.980 --> 00:16:19.459 of family life. 00:16:19.460 --> 00:16:23.800 I read an article, 00:16:24.280 --> 00:16:24.759 an interview, 00:16:24.879 --> 00:16:25.379 I think it was, 00:16:25.420 --> 00:16:26.379 with Michael Parkinson, 00:16:27.240 --> 00:16:30.160 and he described his kind of family life 00:16:30.160 --> 00:16:31.340 as he looked back on it 00:16:31.340 --> 00:16:33.180 as being like a big W. 00:16:33.179 --> 00:16:35.319 And you started off 00:16:35.319 --> 00:16:36.279 on a high 00:16:36.279 --> 00:16:39.079 married bliss, 00:16:39.479 --> 00:16:42.500 those first honeymoon-esque years together. 00:16:43.279 --> 00:16:45.399 And then the first children come along 00:16:45.399 --> 00:16:47.159 and that's good for a little bit, 00:16:47.259 --> 00:16:47.939 but then, of course, 00:16:48.019 --> 00:16:48.939 you're just assumed 00:16:48.939 --> 00:16:51.279 and nappies and sleepless nights 00:16:51.279 --> 00:16:52.459 and all that kind of stuff. 00:16:53.179 --> 00:16:53.759 But then, of course, 00:16:53.799 --> 00:16:54.559 as they grow out 00:16:54.559 --> 00:16:56.059 of those very early years, 00:16:56.159 --> 00:16:57.279 this was his experience, 00:16:57.279 --> 00:16:59.240 then they get into that 00:16:59.240 --> 00:17:00.159 quite innocent, 00:17:00.620 --> 00:17:01.360 kind of lovely, 00:17:01.639 --> 00:17:02.159 playful, 00:17:02.759 --> 00:17:04.740 very, very dependent upon you 00:17:04.740 --> 00:17:06.759 kind of phase of life 00:17:06.759 --> 00:17:07.980 when you go to the zoo 00:17:07.980 --> 00:17:09.759 and everything's just great fun. 00:17:11.119 --> 00:17:12.079 Back up again. 00:17:12.920 --> 00:17:13.480 And then, of course, 00:17:13.519 --> 00:17:14.279 they become teenagers. 00:17:16.859 --> 00:17:18.119 And it's stressful 00:17:18.119 --> 00:17:19.200 and it's angst 00:17:19.200 --> 00:17:20.420 and it's all this kind of stuff. 00:17:21.059 --> 00:17:22.819 And then they kind of grow out of that 00:17:22.819 --> 00:17:23.940 and they go into adulthood 00:17:23.940 --> 00:17:25.240 and you have this mature 00:17:25.240 --> 00:17:26.680 kind of adult 00:17:26.680 --> 00:17:28.180 kind of friendship bond 00:17:28.180 --> 00:17:30.380 with your children. 00:17:31.279 --> 00:17:31.720 A W. 00:17:31.900 --> 00:17:33.080 I quite like that anyway. 00:17:34.160 --> 00:17:35.940 So take the practice 00:17:35.940 --> 00:17:37.700 of family devotions, 00:17:38.400 --> 00:17:39.279 reading the Bible 00:17:39.279 --> 00:17:40.480 with your children. 00:17:41.259 --> 00:17:41.740 Obviously, 00:17:41.860 --> 00:17:43.220 that is going to look different 00:17:43.220 --> 00:17:44.580 depending on what age 00:17:44.580 --> 00:17:45.880 your kids are. 00:17:47.160 --> 00:17:48.140 What worked 00:17:48.140 --> 00:17:49.320 when they were very young 00:17:49.320 --> 00:17:51.759 might not be that helpful 00:17:51.759 --> 00:17:52.660 or workable 00:17:52.660 --> 00:17:53.500 when they get older. 00:17:53.840 --> 00:17:55.100 It's just kind of common sense, 00:17:55.200 --> 00:17:55.620 isn't it? 00:17:56.680 --> 00:17:58.340 Our kids are 10, 00:17:58.460 --> 00:17:58.940 14, 00:17:59.060 --> 00:17:59.560 16. 00:18:00.640 --> 00:18:02.519 Our family Bible time 00:18:02.519 --> 00:18:03.660 is at the evening meal. 00:18:04.600 --> 00:18:06.220 Mornings don't work for us. 00:18:07.000 --> 00:18:08.400 That's just our bad planning 00:18:08.400 --> 00:18:09.200 or organisation. 00:18:10.160 --> 00:18:11.380 But the mornings just tend 00:18:11.380 --> 00:18:12.299 to be too chaotic, 00:18:13.120 --> 00:18:14.279 too pressurised, 00:18:14.920 --> 00:18:15.900 and too prone 00:18:15.900 --> 00:18:17.000 to interruptions. 00:18:17.560 --> 00:18:19.519 Who's seen my so-and-so? 00:18:19.519 --> 00:18:21.299 I can't find this, 00:18:21.299 --> 00:18:22.059 etc., 00:18:22.059 --> 00:18:22.339 etc. 00:18:23.180 --> 00:18:24.619 So we have it in the evening. 00:18:25.079 --> 00:18:26.240 We have a bit more control 00:18:26.240 --> 00:18:27.039 over that time. 00:18:27.139 --> 00:18:28.079 It's a bit more settled. 00:18:28.440 --> 00:18:29.940 But your family might be different. 00:18:30.299 --> 00:18:30.920 That's what I'm saying. 00:18:32.440 --> 00:18:33.680 Sometimes in the evenings, 00:18:33.680 --> 00:18:35.500 it doesn't happen in our house. 00:18:36.539 --> 00:18:37.420 People are away 00:18:37.420 --> 00:18:39.119 or they've got to leave 00:18:39.119 --> 00:18:40.299 or whatever. 00:18:40.299 --> 00:18:43.079 We use daily reading notes 00:18:43.079 --> 00:18:46.119 for our evening Bible time. 00:18:46.500 --> 00:18:47.819 We read a short passage 00:18:47.819 --> 00:18:49.460 and we read the comment 00:18:49.460 --> 00:18:50.659 from the book on it. 00:18:50.720 --> 00:18:51.299 And we might say 00:18:51.299 --> 00:18:52.339 one or two things about it. 00:18:52.379 --> 00:18:53.059 We might not. 00:18:53.940 --> 00:18:55.019 Having that resource, 00:18:55.139 --> 00:18:55.720 we have found, 00:18:56.079 --> 00:18:57.059 is very helpful. 00:18:57.799 --> 00:18:58.240 Because otherwise, 00:18:58.399 --> 00:18:58.960 it's quite easy 00:18:58.960 --> 00:19:00.099 to run dry. 00:19:00.899 --> 00:19:01.379 You always think 00:19:01.379 --> 00:19:02.039 you'll have something 00:19:02.039 --> 00:19:03.279 to say about a passage, 00:19:03.539 --> 00:19:04.919 but this number of times 00:19:04.919 --> 00:19:06.759 you feel that what you're going to say 00:19:06.759 --> 00:19:08.000 is going to be pretty predictable 00:19:08.000 --> 00:19:09.380 and cliched. 00:19:11.279 --> 00:19:12.920 And it avoids just repetition. 00:19:13.960 --> 00:19:15.279 And we go round at the end 00:19:15.279 --> 00:19:17.380 and we ask for prayer requests. 00:19:18.420 --> 00:19:19.559 And a lot of the time, 00:19:19.700 --> 00:19:20.279 I'll be honest, 00:19:20.319 --> 00:19:21.339 there's not much forthcoming. 00:19:22.279 --> 00:19:23.279 Nothing greatly dramatic. 00:19:23.900 --> 00:19:25.019 It's a bit kind of same old, 00:19:25.140 --> 00:19:25.720 same old. 00:19:26.640 --> 00:19:27.319 But it means that 00:19:27.319 --> 00:19:28.839 if there is something big 00:19:28.839 --> 00:19:30.200 or pressing 00:19:30.200 --> 00:19:31.519 that does come up, 00:19:32.079 --> 00:19:33.279 then the setting for it 00:19:33.279 --> 00:19:34.180 has been established. 00:19:36.420 --> 00:19:37.220 But of course, 00:19:37.220 --> 00:19:38.860 that spiritual interaction 00:19:38.860 --> 00:19:39.600 in families 00:19:39.600 --> 00:19:41.079 between parents and kids 00:19:41.079 --> 00:19:42.519 isn't just about 00:19:42.519 --> 00:19:44.420 set-piece formalities. 00:19:44.539 --> 00:19:45.440 It's not just about 00:19:45.440 --> 00:19:46.700 the dinner table 00:19:46.700 --> 00:19:48.400 and out comes the Bible. 00:19:48.880 --> 00:19:50.740 It is about talking about 00:19:50.740 --> 00:19:52.920 spiritual things naturally. 00:19:53.039 --> 00:19:54.440 That is what the thrust 00:19:54.440 --> 00:19:56.059 of that passage in Deuteronomy 00:19:56.059 --> 00:19:57.160 is about, isn't it? 00:19:57.600 --> 00:19:58.600 It's about as you're walking 00:19:58.600 --> 00:19:59.539 along the street, 00:19:59.680 --> 00:20:01.380 as you're going to bed. 00:20:02.180 --> 00:20:04.059 It's just to inform 00:20:04.059 --> 00:20:05.360 and to kind of come into 00:20:05.359 --> 00:20:06.979 all these different situations. 00:20:08.579 --> 00:20:10.819 It's not to be compartmentalized. 00:20:11.179 --> 00:20:12.139 This is the time we do 00:20:12.139 --> 00:20:13.259 the religious stuff, kids. 00:20:13.259 --> 00:20:18.859 I think a lot of our children's 00:20:18.859 --> 00:20:20.740 discipleship has been done 00:20:20.740 --> 00:20:22.480 with them sitting at the end 00:20:22.480 --> 00:20:23.220 of our bed 00:20:23.220 --> 00:20:25.160 before they go to sleep 00:20:25.160 --> 00:20:27.460 unloading issues 00:20:27.460 --> 00:20:28.859 or having questions. 00:20:29.660 --> 00:20:31.279 My wife has discipled my daughter 00:20:31.279 --> 00:20:33.079 so often in that way. 00:20:33.640 --> 00:20:34.740 She tends to appear 00:20:34.740 --> 00:20:35.799 quite late in the evening 00:20:35.799 --> 00:20:37.440 if my wife's trying to get to sleep 00:20:37.440 --> 00:20:39.099 and sits on the end of the bed 00:20:39.099 --> 00:20:40.339 and wants to talk. 00:20:40.339 --> 00:20:42.179 And that's a great opportunity 00:20:42.179 --> 00:20:43.299 for discipleship. 00:20:46.459 --> 00:20:47.619 Or just finishing 00:20:47.619 --> 00:20:49.379 a conversation off in prayer. 00:20:50.399 --> 00:20:51.679 Just, well, let's just pray about that. 00:20:52.439 --> 00:20:53.619 It doesn't have to be elaborate 00:20:53.619 --> 00:20:55.339 but natural. 00:20:56.939 --> 00:20:58.099 There's a really key thing 00:20:58.099 --> 00:20:59.539 that we can help our children 00:20:59.539 --> 00:21:00.139 with us into 00:21:00.139 --> 00:21:02.079 is just setting a model 00:21:02.079 --> 00:21:04.959 of natural everyday prayer. 00:21:06.839 --> 00:21:09.319 Modeling honest, reflective prayers 00:21:09.319 --> 00:21:11.539 prayers don't have to be strident, 00:21:11.740 --> 00:21:12.939 don't have to be flowery, 00:21:13.819 --> 00:21:14.539 but just rooted 00:21:14.539 --> 00:21:16.339 in a confident, secure 00:21:16.339 --> 00:21:18.139 relationship with God. 00:21:18.819 --> 00:21:20.500 Prayers that don't seek 00:21:20.500 --> 00:21:21.819 to have all the answers 00:21:21.819 --> 00:21:23.819 or even to expect 00:21:23.819 --> 00:21:24.659 all the answers 00:21:24.659 --> 00:21:26.720 but simply just ask 00:21:26.720 --> 00:21:27.939 a loving Heavenly Father 00:21:27.939 --> 00:21:30.679 to help in that situation 00:21:30.679 --> 00:21:31.659 at that time. 00:21:33.159 --> 00:21:34.119 Crucially, of course, 00:21:34.220 --> 00:21:35.119 are our prayers 00:21:35.119 --> 00:21:36.399 for our children 00:21:36.400 --> 00:21:38.019 if we're parents. 00:21:39.080 --> 00:21:40.400 Great quote from 00:21:40.400 --> 00:21:41.540 George Philip 00:21:41.540 --> 00:21:43.460 from his daily readings 00:21:43.460 --> 00:21:44.580 on the book of Job. 00:21:46.180 --> 00:21:47.300 He says this, 00:21:47.380 --> 00:21:48.220 He, Job, 00:21:48.880 --> 00:21:49.840 knew he could not 00:21:49.840 --> 00:21:50.820 keep his children 00:21:50.820 --> 00:21:52.180 from living in the world. 00:21:53.180 --> 00:21:54.200 That would have created 00:21:54.200 --> 00:21:55.480 a spirit of rebellion 00:21:55.480 --> 00:21:57.080 against the holiness 00:21:57.080 --> 00:21:58.080 and narrowness 00:21:58.080 --> 00:21:58.820 of their father 00:21:58.820 --> 00:22:00.120 as they would have 00:22:00.120 --> 00:22:01.220 perhaps seen it. 00:22:01.680 --> 00:22:02.880 So he surrounded them 00:22:02.880 --> 00:22:04.120 by prayer continually. 00:22:04.119 --> 00:22:06.319 Parents, your children, 00:22:06.579 --> 00:22:07.719 out of love and respect 00:22:07.719 --> 00:22:08.399 for you, 00:22:08.739 --> 00:22:10.019 may behave at home 00:22:10.019 --> 00:22:11.419 but unless they have 00:22:11.419 --> 00:22:12.679 a faith that is real, 00:22:13.139 --> 00:22:14.159 you will never know 00:22:14.159 --> 00:22:15.019 what they are doing 00:22:15.019 --> 00:22:16.619 when they are away. 00:22:17.739 --> 00:22:18.779 Better get down 00:22:18.779 --> 00:22:20.479 on your knees. 00:22:23.279 --> 00:22:23.819 You know, 00:22:23.839 --> 00:22:25.119 it's such a powerful quote. 00:22:26.399 --> 00:22:27.659 I highlighted it at the time 00:22:27.659 --> 00:22:28.899 and remembered it 00:22:28.899 --> 00:22:30.219 in this preparation. 00:22:31.619 --> 00:22:31.779 You know, 00:22:31.799 --> 00:22:32.599 unless you are going 00:22:32.599 --> 00:22:33.879 to bring up your children 00:22:33.879 --> 00:22:34.679 in some kind of 00:22:34.679 --> 00:22:36.399 Truman Show type construction, 00:22:37.799 --> 00:22:38.719 your kids are going 00:22:38.719 --> 00:22:39.500 to be exposed 00:22:39.500 --> 00:22:40.659 to our society 00:22:40.659 --> 00:22:42.579 in all its rotten forms. 00:22:44.379 --> 00:22:45.899 If they go to school 00:22:45.899 --> 00:22:48.339 and they have a smartphone 00:22:48.339 --> 00:22:50.419 or they have a friend 00:22:50.419 --> 00:22:51.399 with a smartphone, 00:22:52.740 --> 00:22:53.599 they'll see porn. 00:22:55.279 --> 00:22:57.439 Just accept that fact. 00:22:57.440 --> 00:22:59.600 They swim 00:22:59.600 --> 00:23:00.660 every day 00:23:00.660 --> 00:23:02.740 in the cultural sea 00:23:02.740 --> 00:23:04.340 of sexual chaos 00:23:04.340 --> 00:23:05.140 and materialism. 00:23:07.140 --> 00:23:08.440 So acknowledge it. 00:23:09.440 --> 00:23:10.380 Talk about it. 00:23:11.200 --> 00:23:12.400 Not stridently, 00:23:12.900 --> 00:23:14.480 but compassionately. 00:23:16.059 --> 00:23:16.799 Acknowledge the fact 00:23:16.799 --> 00:23:17.539 that other people 00:23:17.539 --> 00:23:19.500 don't share your views. 00:23:20.180 --> 00:23:20.860 Live differently. 00:23:22.860 --> 00:23:23.840 Don't pretend 00:23:23.840 --> 00:23:24.900 that it doesn't exist. 00:23:24.900 --> 00:23:25.860 Don't go into some sort 00:23:25.860 --> 00:23:27.740 of denial about it. 00:23:30.960 --> 00:23:31.840 And let me suggest 00:23:31.840 --> 00:23:33.300 that more than you 00:23:33.300 --> 00:23:34.759 condemn and oppose it, 00:23:36.180 --> 00:23:37.700 show the goodness 00:23:37.700 --> 00:23:38.880 of God's alternative. 00:23:40.960 --> 00:23:42.320 I wrote a little article 00:23:42.320 --> 00:23:43.240 a little while ago 00:23:43.240 --> 00:23:44.800 on transgender. 00:23:45.800 --> 00:23:47.000 It's a big cultural 00:23:47.000 --> 00:23:49.140 issue now, 00:23:49.200 --> 00:23:49.660 isn't it? 00:23:49.980 --> 00:23:51.080 On the back of other 00:23:51.080 --> 00:23:52.759 sexuality issues, 00:23:52.759 --> 00:23:54.180 transgender is the thing 00:23:54.180 --> 00:23:54.960 which really now 00:23:54.960 --> 00:23:56.480 is the new frontier 00:23:56.480 --> 00:23:59.160 of social revolution 00:23:59.160 --> 00:24:00.740 and cultural change. 00:24:02.500 --> 00:24:02.980 And of course, 00:24:03.039 --> 00:24:03.500 there's a number 00:24:03.500 --> 00:24:04.240 of approaches 00:24:04.240 --> 00:24:05.079 people can take 00:24:05.079 --> 00:24:05.819 to that issue. 00:24:06.599 --> 00:24:07.400 One of them, 00:24:08.019 --> 00:24:09.440 maybe a traditional 00:24:09.440 --> 00:24:10.160 Christian one 00:24:10.160 --> 00:24:10.900 in many ways, 00:24:10.980 --> 00:24:12.200 is the slam it 00:24:12.200 --> 00:24:13.200 and ban it approach. 00:24:13.759 --> 00:24:15.000 It's absolutely terrible. 00:24:16.000 --> 00:24:17.379 We should have some laws 00:24:17.379 --> 00:24:18.619 against this kind of thing 00:24:18.619 --> 00:24:19.720 or certainly not get rid 00:24:19.720 --> 00:24:20.539 of any of the laws 00:24:20.539 --> 00:24:22.119 that might be against it. 00:24:22.119 --> 00:24:24.239 But actually, 00:24:24.319 --> 00:24:25.159 I think we have to 00:24:25.159 --> 00:24:25.979 acknowledge that we 00:24:25.979 --> 00:24:26.959 live in a society 00:24:26.959 --> 00:24:27.679 where people are going 00:24:27.679 --> 00:24:28.759 to have that choice. 00:24:29.719 --> 00:24:30.439 Might not like it, 00:24:30.479 --> 00:24:31.139 but we have to acknowledge 00:24:31.139 --> 00:24:32.279 they might have that choice. 00:24:35.159 --> 00:24:36.659 Medicine and society 00:24:36.659 --> 00:24:37.959 is going to support them 00:24:37.959 --> 00:24:39.000 and facilitate them. 00:24:40.839 --> 00:24:41.439 But actually, 00:24:41.500 --> 00:24:42.539 what we want to say 00:24:42.539 --> 00:24:43.419 as Christians is, 00:24:43.459 --> 00:24:43.619 you know, 00:24:43.659 --> 00:24:44.399 there is an alternative. 00:24:45.819 --> 00:24:46.519 There is another way 00:24:46.519 --> 00:24:46.959 to go 00:24:46.959 --> 00:24:49.339 to recognize 00:24:49.339 --> 00:24:49.799 there's a God 00:24:49.799 --> 00:24:50.419 who made you, 00:24:50.420 --> 00:24:52.560 who made you male 00:24:52.560 --> 00:24:53.560 or female. 00:24:53.680 --> 00:24:54.420 Didn't make a mistake 00:24:54.420 --> 00:24:55.120 when he did that. 00:24:55.820 --> 00:24:56.620 God who loves you. 00:24:57.500 --> 00:24:58.480 God who understands 00:24:58.480 --> 00:24:59.320 that every part 00:24:59.320 --> 00:25:00.279 of every one of us 00:25:00.279 --> 00:25:00.900 is messed up 00:25:00.900 --> 00:25:01.640 to some degree 00:25:01.640 --> 00:25:02.080 or another. 00:25:02.920 --> 00:25:03.519 And a God 00:25:03.519 --> 00:25:04.100 who in Christ 00:25:04.100 --> 00:25:05.240 came to save you 00:25:05.240 --> 00:25:06.860 and wants 00:25:06.860 --> 00:25:07.600 by grace 00:25:07.600 --> 00:25:08.600 and by the Holy Spirit 00:25:08.600 --> 00:25:10.039 to help you 00:25:10.039 --> 00:25:11.300 to move 00:25:11.300 --> 00:25:12.400 to actually 00:25:12.400 --> 00:25:13.160 being the person 00:25:13.160 --> 00:25:14.320 he made you to be 00:25:14.320 --> 00:25:15.539 content 00:25:15.539 --> 00:25:16.720 in your own skin 00:25:16.720 --> 00:25:20.839 and not have 00:25:20.839 --> 00:25:21.259 to go through 00:25:21.259 --> 00:25:22.180 all that trauma 00:25:22.180 --> 00:25:23.440 and rigmarole 00:25:23.440 --> 00:25:24.319 of trying to be 00:25:24.319 --> 00:25:24.819 something 00:25:24.819 --> 00:25:25.920 which actually 00:25:25.920 --> 00:25:26.639 God never wanted 00:25:26.639 --> 00:25:27.279 you to be. 00:25:28.899 --> 00:25:29.960 There's an alternative. 00:25:33.180 --> 00:25:34.299 But over all 00:25:34.299 --> 00:25:35.159 these things, 00:25:35.599 --> 00:25:35.859 pray. 00:25:37.279 --> 00:25:38.879 Pray for their souls. 00:25:40.220 --> 00:25:41.099 Pray for the 00:25:41.099 --> 00:25:42.639 seed of God's word 00:25:42.639 --> 00:25:44.460 to fall on good ground 00:25:44.460 --> 00:25:45.480 in their hearts 00:25:45.480 --> 00:25:46.660 as they come 00:25:46.660 --> 00:25:47.160 to church 00:25:47.160 --> 00:25:48.039 week by week 00:25:48.039 --> 00:25:49.340 and YFs 00:25:49.340 --> 00:25:50.200 and Bible studies 00:25:50.200 --> 00:25:51.120 and around 00:25:51.120 --> 00:25:52.500 the dinner table. 00:25:53.559 --> 00:25:54.440 Pray for God 00:25:54.440 --> 00:25:55.319 to have mercy 00:25:55.319 --> 00:25:56.059 upon them 00:25:56.059 --> 00:25:57.039 to rescue them 00:25:57.039 --> 00:25:58.039 from this present 00:25:58.039 --> 00:25:59.000 evil age. 00:26:01.079 --> 00:26:02.440 One of my sisters, 00:26:02.579 --> 00:26:03.900 my four older sisters, 00:26:04.900 --> 00:26:05.920 was the real 00:26:05.920 --> 00:26:06.500 black sheep 00:26:06.500 --> 00:26:07.100 of the family. 00:26:08.600 --> 00:26:09.600 She fell out 00:26:09.600 --> 00:26:10.380 of school 00:26:10.380 --> 00:26:11.680 without any qualifications, 00:26:11.840 --> 00:26:12.559 got into all sorts 00:26:12.559 --> 00:26:13.579 of problems 00:26:13.579 --> 00:26:14.139 and bother. 00:26:15.039 --> 00:26:16.559 Back in the 1970s, 00:26:16.619 --> 00:26:17.759 she was given 00:26:17.759 --> 00:26:18.939 a real hard time 00:26:18.939 --> 00:26:19.859 by one particular 00:26:19.859 --> 00:26:21.059 teacher who obviously 00:26:21.059 --> 00:26:21.839 just saw her 00:26:21.839 --> 00:26:23.299 going off the rails, 00:26:23.419 --> 00:26:24.119 so to speak. 00:26:25.220 --> 00:26:25.819 And she used to 00:26:25.819 --> 00:26:26.539 say to her, 00:26:27.639 --> 00:26:28.500 I'll use her name 00:26:28.500 --> 00:26:29.199 if you won't mind, 00:26:29.599 --> 00:26:30.139 she used to say, 00:26:30.539 --> 00:26:31.279 Fiona Hunter, 00:26:32.159 --> 00:26:33.000 if you don't 00:26:33.000 --> 00:26:34.039 sort yourself out, 00:26:34.179 --> 00:26:35.000 you're going to 00:26:35.000 --> 00:26:36.079 end up slicing 00:26:36.079 --> 00:26:37.279 bacon behind 00:26:37.279 --> 00:26:37.960 the deli 00:26:37.960 --> 00:26:38.759 in Woolworth's. 00:26:39.259 --> 00:26:39.960 Remember the days 00:26:39.960 --> 00:26:40.399 that Woolworth's 00:26:40.399 --> 00:26:41.259 actually had a deli? 00:26:41.699 --> 00:26:42.519 Anybody remember 00:26:42.519 --> 00:26:43.000 Woolworth's? 00:26:43.000 --> 00:26:44.960 Back in the 70s, 00:26:45.000 --> 00:26:45.380 it was actually 00:26:45.380 --> 00:26:46.619 a deli in Woolworth's. 00:26:47.420 --> 00:26:48.019 And that was, 00:26:48.200 --> 00:26:48.900 from this teacher's 00:26:48.900 --> 00:26:49.480 point of view, 00:26:49.619 --> 00:26:49.920 you know, 00:26:50.579 --> 00:26:51.779 working in the deli 00:26:51.779 --> 00:26:52.400 in Woolworth's 00:26:52.400 --> 00:26:53.240 was the very 00:26:53.240 --> 00:26:54.599 definition of failure 00:26:54.599 --> 00:26:55.759 in life. 00:26:57.380 --> 00:26:57.880 But I won't be 00:26:57.880 --> 00:26:59.880 too pietistic about it, 00:27:00.400 --> 00:27:01.539 Lord knows my heart. 00:27:01.640 --> 00:27:02.299 We have often 00:27:02.299 --> 00:27:02.900 prayed 00:27:02.900 --> 00:27:04.240 that our children 00:27:04.240 --> 00:27:04.839 would work 00:27:04.839 --> 00:27:05.539 the deli 00:27:05.539 --> 00:27:06.460 in Woolworth's 00:27:06.460 --> 00:27:08.019 if that means 00:27:08.019 --> 00:27:08.700 going on with 00:27:08.700 --> 00:27:09.120 Christ 00:27:09.120 --> 00:27:11.240 rather than 00:27:11.240 --> 00:27:12.039 becoming another 00:27:12.039 --> 00:27:12.640 nominal, 00:27:13.279 --> 00:27:13.980 former church 00:27:13.980 --> 00:27:14.740 going kid 00:27:14.740 --> 00:27:15.299 who's now a 00:27:15.299 --> 00:27:16.120 high flyer 00:27:16.120 --> 00:27:17.120 and raking it in. 00:27:18.860 --> 00:27:19.759 And that's a real 00:27:19.759 --> 00:27:20.579 test of our 00:27:20.579 --> 00:27:21.420 convictions, 00:27:21.579 --> 00:27:22.000 isn't it? 00:27:22.840 --> 00:27:24.039 Because the reality 00:27:24.039 --> 00:27:25.880 is that what 00:27:25.880 --> 00:27:26.680 we want for 00:27:26.680 --> 00:27:27.460 our children 00:27:27.460 --> 00:27:29.660 is pretty much 00:27:29.660 --> 00:27:30.059 what we want 00:27:30.059 --> 00:27:30.640 for ourselves. 00:27:30.640 --> 00:27:34.120 So pray over them. 00:27:35.180 --> 00:27:36.060 Don't be naive. 00:27:36.960 --> 00:27:37.520 Pray that God 00:27:37.520 --> 00:27:38.460 will rescue them 00:27:38.460 --> 00:27:39.180 from this present 00:27:39.180 --> 00:27:39.940 evil age. 00:27:43.640 --> 00:27:44.440 Finally then, 00:27:45.240 --> 00:27:45.660 discipline 00:27:45.660 --> 00:27:46.840 and grace. 00:27:47.920 --> 00:27:48.380 Of course, 00:27:48.460 --> 00:27:49.020 in all this, 00:27:49.520 --> 00:27:50.259 you need to have 00:27:50.259 --> 00:27:50.720 boundaries, 00:27:50.860 --> 00:27:51.220 don't you? 00:27:51.940 --> 00:27:52.620 My father-in-law 00:27:52.620 --> 00:27:53.540 used to say to me 00:27:53.540 --> 00:27:54.320 as I hauled 00:27:54.320 --> 00:27:54.940 one of our children 00:27:54.940 --> 00:27:55.600 away from the 00:27:55.600 --> 00:27:56.620 dinner table 00:27:56.620 --> 00:27:57.940 for playing up, 00:27:58.040 --> 00:27:58.200 he said, 00:27:58.259 --> 00:27:58.800 don't worry Andy, 00:27:58.900 --> 00:27:59.360 you've got to 00:27:59.360 --> 00:27:59.860 bring them up. 00:27:59.859 --> 00:28:00.879 And indeed, 00:28:00.919 --> 00:28:01.579 that's a biblical 00:28:01.579 --> 00:28:02.419 command. 00:28:03.159 --> 00:28:03.959 Ephesians chapter 00:28:03.959 --> 00:28:06.019 6 and verse 4, 00:28:06.759 --> 00:28:07.740 we are told, 00:28:09.500 --> 00:28:09.819 fathers, 00:28:09.939 --> 00:28:11.079 do not exasperate 00:28:11.079 --> 00:28:11.699 your children, 00:28:11.839 --> 00:28:12.679 instead bring them 00:28:12.679 --> 00:28:13.619 up in the training 00:28:13.619 --> 00:28:14.459 and instruction 00:28:14.459 --> 00:28:15.079 of the Lord. 00:28:15.240 --> 00:28:16.719 Some versions 00:28:16.719 --> 00:28:17.819 say the discipline 00:28:17.819 --> 00:28:18.500 of the Lord. 00:28:21.839 --> 00:28:22.679 Hebrews goes on 00:28:22.679 --> 00:28:23.179 to tell us 00:28:23.179 --> 00:28:23.719 that the Lord 00:28:23.719 --> 00:28:24.779 himself disciplines 00:28:24.779 --> 00:28:26.359 the one that 00:28:26.359 --> 00:28:27.519 he loves. 00:28:29.859 --> 00:28:34.879 the instruction. 00:28:36.059 --> 00:28:36.359 Well, 00:28:36.439 --> 00:28:37.000 we thought about 00:28:37.000 --> 00:28:37.439 that a bit, 00:28:37.559 --> 00:28:37.939 haven't we? 00:28:38.000 --> 00:28:38.919 That biblical 00:28:38.919 --> 00:28:39.819 input and 00:28:39.819 --> 00:28:40.479 teaching that 00:28:40.479 --> 00:28:40.919 is to be 00:28:40.919 --> 00:28:41.839 central to 00:28:41.839 --> 00:28:42.359 our family 00:28:42.359 --> 00:28:42.899 lives and 00:28:42.899 --> 00:28:43.399 however that 00:28:43.399 --> 00:28:44.439 is administered. 00:28:45.819 --> 00:28:46.359 But discipline, 00:28:46.539 --> 00:28:46.779 of course, 00:28:46.819 --> 00:28:47.759 is setting the 00:28:47.759 --> 00:28:48.500 limits of what 00:28:48.500 --> 00:28:49.199 is acceptable 00:28:49.199 --> 00:28:49.679 behavior. 00:28:51.879 --> 00:28:52.459 And like the 00:28:52.459 --> 00:28:53.279 Lord who 00:28:53.279 --> 00:28:54.559 enforces, 00:28:54.559 --> 00:28:55.219 at times, 00:28:55.319 --> 00:28:55.939 discipline in 00:28:55.939 --> 00:28:56.500 our lives, 00:28:56.579 --> 00:28:56.959 the lives of 00:28:56.959 --> 00:28:57.240 his own 00:28:57.240 --> 00:28:57.699 children, 00:28:57.700 --> 00:28:58.620 we do it 00:28:58.620 --> 00:28:59.100 because we 00:28:59.100 --> 00:28:59.480 love them. 00:29:00.920 --> 00:29:01.519 Discipline is 00:29:01.519 --> 00:29:02.299 vital to 00:29:02.299 --> 00:29:03.500 protect them 00:29:03.500 --> 00:29:03.799 and to 00:29:03.799 --> 00:29:04.539 develop good 00:29:04.539 --> 00:29:05.039 character. 00:29:06.519 --> 00:29:07.360 One boundary 00:29:07.360 --> 00:29:07.779 that we've 00:29:07.779 --> 00:29:08.259 tried to 00:29:08.259 --> 00:29:08.940 enforce in 00:29:08.940 --> 00:29:09.380 our own 00:29:09.380 --> 00:29:10.160 family, 00:29:10.279 --> 00:29:10.680 and believe me 00:29:10.680 --> 00:29:10.960 it's a 00:29:10.960 --> 00:29:11.779 constant battle, 00:29:11.980 --> 00:29:12.720 so don't 00:29:12.720 --> 00:29:13.160 in any way 00:29:13.160 --> 00:29:13.620 think that 00:29:13.620 --> 00:29:13.980 this is 00:29:13.980 --> 00:29:14.480 something that 00:29:14.480 --> 00:29:15.160 we have 00:29:15.160 --> 00:29:15.759 gotten top 00:29:15.759 --> 00:29:16.080 of. 00:29:17.340 --> 00:29:17.880 But one 00:29:17.880 --> 00:29:18.319 boundary that 00:29:18.319 --> 00:29:18.920 we try to 00:29:18.920 --> 00:29:19.759 enforce is 00:29:19.759 --> 00:29:21.039 how people 00:29:21.039 --> 00:29:21.740 speak to 00:29:21.740 --> 00:29:22.279 each other 00:29:22.279 --> 00:29:22.799 in our 00:29:22.799 --> 00:29:23.160 home, 00:29:23.680 --> 00:29:24.080 how the 00:29:24.080 --> 00:29:24.600 children 00:29:24.600 --> 00:29:25.400 interact with 00:29:25.400 --> 00:29:25.840 each other. 00:29:26.400 --> 00:29:26.740 As you know 00:29:26.740 --> 00:29:27.279 what it's like, 00:29:27.279 --> 00:29:29.019 constant put-downs 00:29:29.019 --> 00:29:30.099 and meanness 00:29:30.099 --> 00:29:31.039 and picking 00:29:31.039 --> 00:29:31.500 fault. 00:29:32.500 --> 00:29:32.799 And the 00:29:32.799 --> 00:29:33.139 point we 00:29:33.139 --> 00:29:33.720 try to 00:29:33.720 --> 00:29:34.139 make to 00:29:34.139 --> 00:29:34.440 them is 00:29:34.440 --> 00:29:35.299 that that's 00:29:35.299 --> 00:29:35.799 the kind 00:29:35.799 --> 00:29:36.160 of thing 00:29:36.160 --> 00:29:36.440 that you 00:29:36.440 --> 00:29:36.899 have to 00:29:36.899 --> 00:29:37.420 put up 00:29:37.420 --> 00:29:38.000 out there. 00:29:39.119 --> 00:29:39.480 That's the 00:29:39.480 --> 00:29:39.700 kind of 00:29:39.700 --> 00:29:40.079 thing that 00:29:40.079 --> 00:29:40.480 you're not 00:29:40.480 --> 00:29:40.779 going to 00:29:40.779 --> 00:29:41.579 escape from 00:29:41.579 --> 00:29:42.279 when you're 00:29:42.279 --> 00:29:42.539 in the 00:29:42.539 --> 00:29:43.259 playground or 00:29:43.259 --> 00:29:43.539 in the 00:29:43.539 --> 00:29:43.879 street, 00:29:44.359 --> 00:29:44.879 that kind 00:29:44.879 --> 00:29:45.539 of abuse 00:29:45.539 --> 00:29:46.420 and nitpicking 00:29:46.420 --> 00:29:46.980 and fault 00:29:46.980 --> 00:29:47.779 finding and 00:29:47.779 --> 00:29:48.680 just general 00:29:48.680 --> 00:29:49.279 meanness. 00:29:50.279 --> 00:29:50.680 But in 00:29:50.680 --> 00:29:51.399 this place, 00:29:51.519 --> 00:29:52.160 in this 00:29:52.160 --> 00:29:52.639 home, 00:29:53.200 --> 00:29:53.920 is a place 00:29:53.920 --> 00:29:54.259 where you 00:29:54.259 --> 00:29:54.579 should be 00:29:54.579 --> 00:29:54.960 able to 00:29:54.960 --> 00:29:55.680 escape from 00:29:55.680 --> 00:29:55.940 that. 00:29:55.940 --> 00:29:57.360 You 00:29:57.360 --> 00:29:57.720 should be 00:29:57.720 --> 00:29:58.340 safe here, 00:29:58.400 --> 00:29:58.640 you should 00:29:58.640 --> 00:29:59.320 be respected 00:29:59.320 --> 00:29:59.820 here. 00:30:01.200 --> 00:30:01.740 That's not 00:30:01.740 --> 00:30:02.720 acceptable here. 00:30:03.380 --> 00:30:03.740 This is to 00:30:03.740 --> 00:30:04.279 be a haven 00:30:04.279 --> 00:30:04.900 for people 00:30:04.900 --> 00:30:05.920 who have to 00:30:05.920 --> 00:30:06.220 put up 00:30:06.220 --> 00:30:06.620 that kind 00:30:06.620 --> 00:30:06.940 of stuff 00:30:06.940 --> 00:30:07.360 out there. 00:30:09.460 --> 00:30:09.860 Actually, 00:30:10.000 --> 00:30:10.120 you know, 00:30:10.180 --> 00:30:10.539 the church 00:30:10.539 --> 00:30:10.860 should be 00:30:10.860 --> 00:30:11.200 like that, 00:30:11.279 --> 00:30:11.600 isn't it? 00:30:11.720 --> 00:30:12.019 That's the 00:30:12.019 --> 00:30:12.340 point of the 00:30:12.340 --> 00:30:12.840 church family. 00:30:13.900 --> 00:30:14.400 You go to 00:30:14.400 --> 00:30:14.680 work, 00:30:14.779 --> 00:30:15.059 you go out 00:30:15.059 --> 00:30:15.220 in the 00:30:15.220 --> 00:30:15.460 street, 00:30:15.559 --> 00:30:15.920 you interact 00:30:15.920 --> 00:30:16.380 with people, 00:30:16.740 --> 00:30:17.059 you might 00:30:17.059 --> 00:30:17.519 be subject 00:30:17.519 --> 00:30:18.140 to kind 00:30:18.140 --> 00:30:18.720 of meanness 00:30:18.720 --> 00:30:19.640 and unfairness 00:30:19.640 --> 00:30:20.400 and insult 00:30:20.400 --> 00:30:21.580 and difficulty. 00:30:22.279 --> 00:30:22.840 The whole 00:30:22.840 --> 00:30:23.340 point of 00:30:23.340 --> 00:30:23.980 these instructions 00:30:23.980 --> 00:30:24.920 about holiness 00:30:24.920 --> 00:30:25.900 in the church 00:30:25.900 --> 00:30:27.240 and how 00:30:27.240 --> 00:30:27.519 we're to 00:30:27.519 --> 00:30:28.360 interact with 00:30:28.360 --> 00:30:28.620 each other 00:30:28.620 --> 00:30:29.259 in the church 00:30:29.259 --> 00:30:29.700 is that the 00:30:29.700 --> 00:30:30.080 church should 00:30:30.080 --> 00:30:30.640 be a haven, 00:30:31.480 --> 00:30:31.940 should be a 00:30:31.940 --> 00:30:32.360 place where 00:30:32.360 --> 00:30:32.960 you come to 00:30:32.960 --> 00:30:33.580 and you're 00:30:33.580 --> 00:30:34.240 not subject 00:30:34.240 --> 00:30:34.820 to that 00:30:34.820 --> 00:30:35.180 kind of 00:30:35.180 --> 00:30:35.460 stuff, 00:30:35.539 --> 00:30:36.120 you're free 00:30:36.120 --> 00:30:36.620 from that 00:30:36.620 --> 00:30:36.980 kind of 00:30:36.980 --> 00:30:37.300 stuff. 00:30:37.820 --> 00:30:38.320 This is the 00:30:38.320 --> 00:30:38.740 place where 00:30:38.740 --> 00:30:39.279 you will be 00:30:39.279 --> 00:30:39.860 loved and 00:30:39.860 --> 00:30:41.259 respected and 00:30:41.259 --> 00:30:41.980 cared for. 00:30:43.380 --> 00:30:43.900 People don't 00:30:43.900 --> 00:30:44.460 get treated 00:30:44.460 --> 00:30:45.460 the way they 00:30:45.460 --> 00:30:45.940 do out in 00:30:45.940 --> 00:30:46.300 the street 00:30:46.300 --> 00:30:46.580 when they 00:30:46.580 --> 00:30:46.860 come in 00:30:46.860 --> 00:30:47.140 here. 00:30:48.140 --> 00:30:48.600 And that 00:30:48.600 --> 00:30:48.900 should be 00:30:48.900 --> 00:30:50.160 true in 00:30:50.160 --> 00:30:50.880 our families. 00:30:50.880 --> 00:30:52.880 Again, 00:30:52.940 --> 00:30:53.460 exactly how 00:30:53.460 --> 00:30:54.080 you work 00:30:54.080 --> 00:30:54.600 these things 00:30:54.600 --> 00:30:54.820 out, 00:30:54.920 --> 00:30:55.200 what your 00:30:55.200 --> 00:30:55.680 precise 00:30:55.680 --> 00:30:56.120 boundaries 00:30:56.120 --> 00:30:56.500 are, 00:30:56.620 --> 00:30:57.040 what the 00:30:57.040 --> 00:30:57.880 sanctions 00:30:57.880 --> 00:30:58.220 that you 00:30:58.220 --> 00:30:58.600 want to 00:30:58.600 --> 00:30:59.400 impose are 00:30:59.400 --> 00:31:00.120 in terms 00:31:00.120 --> 00:31:00.620 of discipline, 00:31:00.620 --> 00:31:01.020 that's going 00:31:01.020 --> 00:31:01.400 to vary 00:31:01.400 --> 00:31:02.600 from family 00:31:02.600 --> 00:31:03.160 to family, 00:31:03.260 --> 00:31:03.740 even as I 00:31:03.740 --> 00:31:04.060 mentioned 00:31:04.060 --> 00:31:04.640 from child 00:31:04.640 --> 00:31:05.320 to child. 00:31:06.080 --> 00:31:06.360 Let me 00:31:06.360 --> 00:31:06.700 just make 00:31:06.700 --> 00:31:07.820 two observations. 00:31:09.560 --> 00:31:10.060 One is 00:31:10.060 --> 00:31:11.120 that discipline 00:31:11.120 --> 00:31:12.640 is never 00:31:12.640 --> 00:31:13.400 going to be 00:31:13.400 --> 00:31:14.300 popular or 00:31:14.300 --> 00:31:14.940 gratefully 00:31:14.940 --> 00:31:15.880 received at 00:31:15.880 --> 00:31:16.360 the time. 00:31:17.020 --> 00:31:17.360 It's a very 00:31:17.360 --> 00:31:18.060 obvious thing 00:31:18.060 --> 00:31:18.480 to say, 00:31:18.540 --> 00:31:18.960 isn't it? 00:31:18.960 --> 00:31:20.740 But I 00:31:20.740 --> 00:31:20.960 think we 00:31:20.960 --> 00:31:21.360 need to 00:31:21.360 --> 00:31:21.819 make that 00:31:21.819 --> 00:31:22.140 point 00:31:22.140 --> 00:31:22.600 increasingly 00:31:22.600 --> 00:31:23.200 today, 00:31:23.440 --> 00:31:24.279 because what 00:31:24.279 --> 00:31:24.680 it means 00:31:24.680 --> 00:31:25.000 is that 00:31:25.000 --> 00:31:25.200 your 00:31:25.200 --> 00:31:25.940 relationship 00:31:25.940 --> 00:31:26.559 to your 00:31:26.559 --> 00:31:27.160 child 00:31:27.160 --> 00:31:28.519 cannot be 00:31:28.519 --> 00:31:29.279 based on 00:31:29.279 --> 00:31:29.779 being 00:31:29.779 --> 00:31:31.420 BFFs. 00:31:33.019 --> 00:31:33.840 That means 00:31:33.840 --> 00:31:34.500 best friends 00:31:34.500 --> 00:31:34.880 forever. 00:31:36.660 --> 00:31:37.000 Low. 00:31:40.579 --> 00:31:41.220 Your 00:31:41.220 --> 00:31:41.700 relationship 00:31:41.700 --> 00:31:42.079 with your 00:31:42.079 --> 00:31:42.700 child is 00:31:42.700 --> 00:31:43.220 not about 00:31:43.220 --> 00:31:43.660 being a 00:31:43.660 --> 00:31:44.200 BFF. 00:31:45.559 --> 00:31:46.200 My 00:31:46.200 --> 00:31:47.100 father had 00:31:47.100 --> 00:31:47.840 six kids. 00:31:47.839 --> 00:31:48.959 he spent 00:31:48.959 --> 00:31:49.539 most of 00:31:49.539 --> 00:31:50.199 his adult 00:31:50.199 --> 00:31:51.019 life raising 00:31:51.019 --> 00:31:51.500 children. 00:31:51.619 --> 00:31:51.959 My brother 00:31:51.959 --> 00:31:52.559 is 16 00:31:52.559 --> 00:31:53.179 years older 00:31:53.179 --> 00:31:53.559 than me. 00:31:53.619 --> 00:31:53.799 He's at 00:31:53.799 --> 00:31:54.159 the end 00:31:54.159 --> 00:31:54.539 of the 00:31:54.539 --> 00:31:55.319 spectrum. 00:31:55.480 --> 00:31:55.579 So you 00:31:55.579 --> 00:31:55.799 can imagine 00:31:55.799 --> 00:31:56.259 his whole 00:31:56.259 --> 00:31:56.699 life was 00:31:56.699 --> 00:31:56.939 basically 00:31:56.939 --> 00:31:57.799 just children. 00:31:59.720 --> 00:32:00.039 And I 00:32:00.039 --> 00:32:00.559 don't think 00:32:00.559 --> 00:32:00.939 that he 00:32:00.939 --> 00:32:01.819 ever gave 00:32:01.819 --> 00:32:02.559 a moment's 00:32:02.559 --> 00:32:04.079 thought as 00:32:04.079 --> 00:32:04.359 to whether 00:32:04.359 --> 00:32:04.819 his kids 00:32:04.819 --> 00:32:05.220 liked him 00:32:05.220 --> 00:32:05.579 or not. 00:32:07.240 --> 00:32:07.799 But he 00:32:07.799 --> 00:32:08.299 looked after 00:32:08.299 --> 00:32:08.639 us. 00:32:09.599 --> 00:32:09.879 We knew 00:32:09.879 --> 00:32:10.179 where we 00:32:10.179 --> 00:32:10.539 stood, 00:32:10.679 --> 00:32:10.939 and that 00:32:10.939 --> 00:32:11.500 ultimately 00:32:11.500 --> 00:32:11.919 gave us 00:32:11.919 --> 00:32:12.539 much more 00:32:12.539 --> 00:32:13.199 security 00:32:13.199 --> 00:32:15.099 than a 00:32:15.099 --> 00:32:15.500 pal who 00:32:15.500 --> 00:32:15.819 was trying 00:32:15.819 --> 00:32:16.139 to get 00:32:16.139 --> 00:32:16.259 our 00:32:16.259 --> 00:32:16.639 approval. 00:32:17.839 --> 00:32:21.199 Secondly, 00:32:22.199 --> 00:32:22.599 discipline 00:32:22.599 --> 00:32:23.099 needs to 00:32:23.099 --> 00:32:23.459 be 00:32:23.459 --> 00:32:24.699 complemented 00:32:24.699 --> 00:32:25.919 with 00:32:25.919 --> 00:32:26.459 grace. 00:32:27.480 --> 00:32:27.959 Because notice 00:32:27.959 --> 00:32:28.579 those verses 00:32:28.579 --> 00:32:28.959 that we 00:32:28.959 --> 00:32:29.299 read, 00:32:29.399 --> 00:32:29.879 the same 00:32:29.879 --> 00:32:30.599 verse in 00:32:30.599 --> 00:32:31.199 Ephesians 00:32:31.199 --> 00:32:31.740 that talks 00:32:31.740 --> 00:32:32.079 about 00:32:32.079 --> 00:32:32.599 discipline, 00:32:32.819 --> 00:32:33.000 about 00:32:33.000 --> 00:32:33.720 instruction, 00:32:35.000 --> 00:32:35.299 about 00:32:35.299 --> 00:32:35.859 training, 00:32:36.220 --> 00:32:36.539 says, 00:32:36.720 --> 00:32:36.959 fathers, 00:32:37.059 --> 00:32:37.279 do not 00:32:37.279 --> 00:32:38.179 exasperate 00:32:38.179 --> 00:32:38.419 your 00:32:38.419 --> 00:32:38.879 children. 00:32:40.659 --> 00:32:40.919 Always 00:32:40.919 --> 00:32:41.459 tempting, 00:32:41.599 --> 00:32:41.839 isn't it, 00:32:41.839 --> 00:32:42.379 to raise 00:32:42.379 --> 00:32:42.899 the bar 00:32:42.899 --> 00:32:43.419 up behind 00:32:43.419 --> 00:32:43.839 you in 00:32:43.839 --> 00:32:44.240 life. 00:32:45.039 --> 00:32:45.399 So we 00:32:45.399 --> 00:32:45.919 set our 00:32:45.919 --> 00:32:46.959 expectations 00:32:46.960 --> 00:32:47.740 of others 00:32:47.740 --> 00:32:48.019 on the 00:32:48.019 --> 00:32:48.559 basis of 00:32:48.559 --> 00:32:49.079 where we 00:32:49.079 --> 00:32:49.740 are now, 00:32:50.539 --> 00:32:51.000 as opposed 00:32:51.000 --> 00:32:51.340 to where 00:32:51.340 --> 00:32:51.700 we might 00:32:51.700 --> 00:32:52.039 have been 00:32:52.039 --> 00:32:52.519 ourselves 00:32:52.519 --> 00:32:52.819 in the 00:32:52.819 --> 00:32:53.279 past. 00:32:54.539 --> 00:32:55.059 Part of 00:32:55.059 --> 00:32:55.259 me is 00:32:55.259 --> 00:32:57.079 horrified of 00:32:57.079 --> 00:32:57.740 the thought 00:32:57.740 --> 00:32:58.100 that a 00:32:58.100 --> 00:32:58.700 30-year-old 00:32:58.700 --> 00:32:59.680 me would 00:32:59.680 --> 00:32:59.880 have been 00:32:59.880 --> 00:33:00.279 an elder. 00:33:01.000 --> 00:33:01.559 But I 00:33:01.559 --> 00:33:01.980 was. 00:33:03.019 --> 00:33:03.319 And I've 00:33:03.319 --> 00:33:03.700 got to bear 00:33:03.700 --> 00:33:04.059 that in 00:33:04.059 --> 00:33:04.480 mind when 00:33:04.480 --> 00:33:05.279 I'm looking 00:33:05.279 --> 00:33:05.600 at other 00:33:05.600 --> 00:33:06.340 people today. 00:33:07.480 --> 00:33:08.120 It's the same 00:33:08.120 --> 00:33:08.420 with our 00:33:08.420 --> 00:33:08.660 kids, 00:33:08.759 --> 00:33:09.039 isn't it? 00:33:09.100 --> 00:33:09.579 There is a 00:33:09.579 --> 00:33:10.180 danger, I 00:33:10.180 --> 00:33:10.440 think, 00:33:10.519 --> 00:33:11.319 sometimes in 00:33:11.319 --> 00:33:12.819 hot house of 00:33:12.819 --> 00:33:13.759 evangelicalism, 00:33:13.759 --> 00:33:15.019 of expecting 00:33:15.019 --> 00:33:16.059 teenagers to 00:33:16.059 --> 00:33:16.640 behave like 00:33:16.640 --> 00:33:17.019 seasoned 00:33:17.019 --> 00:33:17.559 saints. 00:33:19.180 --> 00:33:19.519 Youth in 00:33:19.519 --> 00:33:20.180 the Bible is 00:33:20.180 --> 00:33:21.180 often recognized 00:33:21.180 --> 00:33:21.960 as a time of 00:33:21.960 --> 00:33:22.759 recklessness and 00:33:22.759 --> 00:33:23.319 excess. 00:33:24.299 --> 00:33:25.099 David says, 00:33:25.579 --> 00:33:26.200 remember not 00:33:26.200 --> 00:33:26.859 the sins of 00:33:26.859 --> 00:33:27.319 my youth, 00:33:27.440 --> 00:33:28.259 Psalm 25. 00:33:29.640 --> 00:33:29.799 In 00:33:29.799 --> 00:33:30.420 Timothy, we 00:33:30.420 --> 00:33:31.339 are called 00:33:31.339 --> 00:33:32.359 on to flee 00:33:32.359 --> 00:33:33.480 youthful passions 00:33:33.480 --> 00:33:34.339 or to flee 00:33:34.339 --> 00:33:35.940 evil desires 00:33:35.940 --> 00:33:36.519 of youth. 00:33:37.740 --> 00:33:38.240 Youth is a 00:33:38.240 --> 00:33:38.859 time, perhaps 00:33:38.859 --> 00:33:39.379 more than 00:33:39.379 --> 00:33:39.980 most, where 00:33:39.980 --> 00:33:40.579 lots of 00:33:40.579 --> 00:33:41.119 grace is 00:33:41.119 --> 00:33:41.440 needed. 00:33:41.440 --> 00:33:44.400 If you 00:33:44.400 --> 00:33:44.880 are on 00:33:44.880 --> 00:33:45.259 your 00:33:45.259 --> 00:33:46.140 teenagers 00:33:46.140 --> 00:33:46.600 back 00:33:46.600 --> 00:33:47.440 constantly, 00:33:48.340 --> 00:33:48.860 they're not 00:33:48.860 --> 00:33:49.200 going to 00:33:49.200 --> 00:33:50.039 notice when 00:33:50.039 --> 00:33:50.600 you're actually 00:33:50.600 --> 00:33:51.059 trying to 00:33:51.059 --> 00:33:51.440 warn them 00:33:51.440 --> 00:33:51.940 about something 00:33:51.940 --> 00:33:52.360 that's really 00:33:52.360 --> 00:33:52.980 serious, 00:33:54.120 --> 00:33:54.600 because it's 00:33:54.600 --> 00:33:54.880 just you 00:33:54.880 --> 00:33:55.519 picking faults 00:33:55.519 --> 00:33:55.960 again. 00:33:57.100 --> 00:33:57.620 You pick 00:33:57.620 --> 00:33:58.120 faults about 00:33:58.120 --> 00:33:58.440 the colour 00:33:58.440 --> 00:33:59.039 of my hair, 00:33:59.500 --> 00:33:59.799 about my 00:33:59.799 --> 00:34:00.820 bedroom, and 00:34:00.820 --> 00:34:01.140 now you're 00:34:01.140 --> 00:34:01.500 just picking 00:34:01.500 --> 00:34:01.799 faults. 00:34:01.980 --> 00:34:02.460 But actually 00:34:02.460 --> 00:34:02.860 this thing is 00:34:02.860 --> 00:34:03.500 quite serious, 00:34:03.640 --> 00:34:04.100 but it just 00:34:04.100 --> 00:34:04.700 all disappears 00:34:04.700 --> 00:34:05.000 in the 00:34:05.000 --> 00:34:05.340 noise. 00:34:07.220 --> 00:34:07.660 What is 00:34:07.660 --> 00:34:09.300 vital is 00:34:09.300 --> 00:34:09.579 that we 00:34:09.579 --> 00:34:10.300 model to 00:34:10.300 --> 00:34:10.700 them, 00:34:10.699 --> 00:34:11.980 unconditional 00:34:11.980 --> 00:34:13.319 love, and 00:34:13.319 --> 00:34:14.319 a consistency 00:34:14.319 --> 00:34:14.960 in our 00:34:14.960 --> 00:34:15.799 own faith? 00:34:18.359 --> 00:34:18.899 Let me 00:34:18.899 --> 00:34:19.500 finish this 00:34:19.500 --> 00:34:20.659 rather scattered, 00:34:20.779 --> 00:34:21.199 I told you 00:34:21.199 --> 00:34:21.399 it was going 00:34:21.399 --> 00:34:21.659 to be a 00:34:21.659 --> 00:34:22.000 bits and 00:34:22.000 --> 00:34:22.599 pieces talk 00:34:22.599 --> 00:34:24.279 with a 00:34:24.279 --> 00:34:24.779 quote, I 00:34:24.779 --> 00:34:25.119 love this 00:34:25.119 --> 00:34:25.519 quote. 00:34:27.259 --> 00:34:27.639 This is 00:34:27.639 --> 00:34:29.079 one of my 00:34:29.079 --> 00:34:29.639 tutors at 00:34:29.639 --> 00:34:30.299 Bible college 00:34:30.299 --> 00:34:30.619 used to 00:34:30.619 --> 00:34:31.039 say this 00:34:31.039 --> 00:34:31.559 to us, 00:34:32.439 --> 00:34:33.000 there's no 00:34:33.000 --> 00:34:33.579 such thing 00:34:33.579 --> 00:34:34.099 as perfect 00:34:34.099 --> 00:34:35.099 parents, and 00:34:35.099 --> 00:34:35.480 the ones 00:34:35.480 --> 00:34:36.039 who have 00:34:36.039 --> 00:34:36.539 got lousy 00:34:36.539 --> 00:34:36.859 kids. 00:34:37.619 --> 00:34:38.039 I love 00:34:38.039 --> 00:34:38.779 that, there's 00:34:38.779 --> 00:34:39.099 a lot of 00:34:39.099 --> 00:34:39.619 truth in it. 00:34:39.619 --> 00:34:40.219 It should 00:34:40.219 --> 00:34:40.920 humble us, 00:34:41.559 --> 00:34:41.839 and it 00:34:41.839 --> 00:34:42.099 should make 00:34:42.099 --> 00:34:42.420 us all 00:34:42.420 --> 00:34:43.159 calm down 00:34:43.159 --> 00:34:43.559 a little 00:34:43.559 --> 00:34:44.380 bit when 00:34:44.380 --> 00:34:44.859 it comes 00:34:44.859 --> 00:34:45.339 to this 00:34:45.339 --> 00:34:45.920 subject. 00:34:46.699 --> 00:34:47.159 But of 00:34:47.159 --> 00:34:47.619 course there 00:34:47.619 --> 00:34:48.179 is a 00:34:48.179 --> 00:34:48.579 perfect 00:34:48.579 --> 00:34:49.000 parent, 00:34:49.139 --> 00:34:49.299 isn't 00:34:49.299 --> 00:34:49.500 there? 00:34:50.199 --> 00:34:50.440 The 00:34:50.440 --> 00:34:50.799 God and 00:34:50.799 --> 00:34:52.199 Father of 00:34:52.199 --> 00:34:52.480 Jesus 00:34:52.480 --> 00:34:53.059 Christ. 00:34:54.199 --> 00:34:54.599 And yet 00:34:54.599 --> 00:34:55.319 even his 00:34:55.319 --> 00:34:57.599 children are 00:34:57.599 --> 00:34:58.119 far from 00:34:58.119 --> 00:34:58.819 perfect in 00:34:58.819 --> 00:34:59.420 this world. 00:35:00.199 --> 00:35:00.960 Whether that 00:35:00.960 --> 00:35:01.559 was Israel, 00:35:01.659 --> 00:35:02.059 whether it's 00:35:02.059 --> 00:35:02.880 Christians now, 00:35:03.759 --> 00:35:04.099 that of 00:35:04.099 --> 00:35:04.619 course is no 00:35:04.619 --> 00:35:05.219 fault in 00:35:05.219 --> 00:35:06.059 God's part, 00:35:06.759 --> 00:35:07.059 but a 00:35:07.059 --> 00:35:07.900 reflection of 00:35:07.900 --> 00:35:09.019 their fallenness. 00:35:10.940 --> 00:35:11.720 That means 00:35:11.720 --> 00:35:12.320 that regardless 00:35:12.320 --> 00:35:13.139 of our best 00:35:13.139 --> 00:35:13.760 efforts and 00:35:13.760 --> 00:35:14.380 all the good 00:35:14.380 --> 00:35:14.900 wisdom in 00:35:14.900 --> 00:35:15.260 the world 00:35:15.260 --> 00:35:15.539 that we 00:35:15.539 --> 00:35:16.160 could share, 00:35:16.660 --> 00:35:17.019 there are 00:35:17.019 --> 00:35:17.800 no guarantees 00:35:17.800 --> 00:35:18.340 in family 00:35:18.340 --> 00:35:18.880 life about 00:35:18.880 --> 00:35:19.420 how things 00:35:19.420 --> 00:35:19.680 are going 00:35:19.680 --> 00:35:20.019 to work 00:35:20.019 --> 00:35:20.300 out. 00:35:21.099 --> 00:35:21.639 The best 00:35:21.639 --> 00:35:22.360 families can 00:35:22.360 --> 00:35:23.019 see children 00:35:23.019 --> 00:35:24.360 go awry. 00:35:26.840 --> 00:35:27.500 Corinthian 00:35:27.500 --> 00:35:28.260 church sat 00:35:28.260 --> 00:35:28.720 under the 00:35:28.720 --> 00:35:29.260 care and 00:35:29.260 --> 00:35:29.980 teaching of 00:35:29.980 --> 00:35:30.940 the great 00:35:30.940 --> 00:35:31.760 pastor and 00:35:31.760 --> 00:35:32.539 theologian 00:35:32.539 --> 00:35:33.860 Paul himself. 00:35:34.260 --> 00:35:34.780 It doesn't 00:35:34.780 --> 00:35:35.539 get any better 00:35:35.539 --> 00:35:36.219 than that, 00:35:36.860 --> 00:35:37.239 and yet 00:35:37.239 --> 00:35:38.019 they seemed 00:35:38.019 --> 00:35:38.679 to get 00:35:38.679 --> 00:35:39.279 just about 00:35:39.279 --> 00:35:39.779 everything 00:35:39.779 --> 00:35:40.279 wrong. 00:35:43.940 --> 00:35:44.259 You see, 00:35:44.340 --> 00:35:45.159 remember that 00:35:45.159 --> 00:35:46.059 no one 00:35:46.059 --> 00:35:47.039 loves your 00:35:47.039 --> 00:35:48.019 kids or 00:35:48.019 --> 00:35:48.719 your family 00:35:48.719 --> 00:35:49.900 more than 00:35:49.900 --> 00:35:50.679 God does. 00:35:51.779 --> 00:35:52.259 Matthew 00:35:52.259 --> 00:35:54.440 7 in the 00:35:54.440 --> 00:35:54.880 Sermon on 00:35:54.880 --> 00:35:55.159 the Mount, 00:35:55.800 --> 00:35:56.440 these great 00:35:56.440 --> 00:35:56.900 words, 00:35:57.460 --> 00:35:57.920 if you 00:35:57.920 --> 00:35:58.300 then, 00:35:58.380 --> 00:35:58.679 though you 00:35:58.679 --> 00:35:59.239 are evil, 00:35:59.800 --> 00:36:00.279 know how 00:36:00.279 --> 00:36:00.719 to give 00:36:00.719 --> 00:36:01.320 good gifts 00:36:01.320 --> 00:36:01.779 to your 00:36:01.779 --> 00:36:02.179 children, 00:36:02.759 --> 00:36:03.340 how much 00:36:03.340 --> 00:36:03.880 more will 00:36:03.880 --> 00:36:04.460 your Father 00:36:04.460 --> 00:36:04.980 in heaven 00:36:04.980 --> 00:36:06.039 give good 00:36:06.039 --> 00:36:06.639 gifts to 00:36:06.639 --> 00:36:07.760 those who 00:36:07.760 --> 00:36:08.460 ask him. 00:36:10.420 --> 00:36:10.980 You see, 00:36:12.199 --> 00:36:13.039 God is 00:36:13.039 --> 00:36:14.039 right behind 00:36:14.039 --> 00:36:14.400 us when 00:36:14.400 --> 00:36:14.880 we ask 00:36:14.880 --> 00:36:15.300 for good 00:36:15.300 --> 00:36:15.740 things. 00:36:16.860 --> 00:36:17.500 He's not 00:36:17.500 --> 00:36:17.860 going to be 00:36:17.860 --> 00:36:18.619 less kind 00:36:18.619 --> 00:36:19.039 and less 00:36:19.039 --> 00:36:19.780 generous to 00:36:19.780 --> 00:36:20.199 you and 00:36:20.199 --> 00:36:20.840 your family 00:36:20.840 --> 00:36:21.420 than you 00:36:21.420 --> 00:36:21.699 are. 00:36:23.400 --> 00:36:23.800 So whatever 00:36:23.800 --> 00:36:24.619 your family 00:36:24.619 --> 00:36:25.320 situation, 00:36:25.480 --> 00:36:25.980 whether it's 00:36:25.980 --> 00:36:27.119 good or 00:36:27.119 --> 00:36:27.639 bad, 00:36:28.300 --> 00:36:28.940 you can 00:36:28.940 --> 00:36:29.400 commit it 00:36:29.400 --> 00:36:29.720 to the 00:36:29.720 --> 00:36:29.980 Lord. 00:36:30.099 --> 00:36:30.420 You can 00:36:30.420 --> 00:36:31.260 do so 00:36:31.260 --> 00:36:32.199 in the 00:36:32.199 --> 00:36:32.840 trust and 00:36:32.840 --> 00:36:33.119 in the 00:36:33.119 --> 00:36:33.639 confidence 00:36:33.639 --> 00:36:34.659 that he 00:36:34.659 --> 00:36:35.259 will work 00:36:35.259 --> 00:36:35.699 out his 00:36:35.699 --> 00:36:35.980 good 00:36:35.980 --> 00:36:36.500 purposes 00:36:36.500 --> 00:36:37.159 for those 00:36:37.159 --> 00:36:37.420 that you 00:36:37.420 --> 00:36:37.699 love. 00:36:38.659 --> 00:36:39.019 You can 00:36:39.019 --> 00:36:39.460 commit them 00:36:39.460 --> 00:36:39.739 to a 00:36:39.739 --> 00:36:39.980 loving 00:36:39.980 --> 00:36:40.420 heavenly 00:36:40.420 --> 00:36:40.859 father. 00:36:42.599 --> 00:36:42.879 And one 00:36:42.879 --> 00:36:43.039 of the 00:36:43.039 --> 00:36:43.359 things you 00:36:43.359 --> 00:36:43.920 can ask 00:36:43.920 --> 00:36:44.420 him for 00:36:44.420 --> 00:36:44.859 is for 00:36:44.859 --> 00:36:45.039 your 00:36:45.039 --> 00:36:45.500 family. 00:36:46.500 --> 00:36:46.839 I know 00:36:46.839 --> 00:36:47.199 that as 00:36:47.199 --> 00:36:47.859 you ask 00:36:47.859 --> 00:36:48.319 for your 00:36:48.319 --> 00:36:48.980 family with 00:36:48.980 --> 00:36:49.519 those good 00:36:49.519 --> 00:36:50.079 desires, 00:36:51.299 --> 00:36:51.779 that he 00:36:51.779 --> 00:36:52.920 is willing 00:36:52.920 --> 00:36:54.799 to bless, 00:36:55.000 --> 00:36:55.579 to help, 00:36:56.339 --> 00:36:56.920 to carry 00:36:56.920 --> 00:36:57.319 you in 00:36:57.319 --> 00:36:57.879 your family 00:36:57.879 --> 00:36:59.179 and to 00:36:59.179 --> 00:36:59.500 do his 00:36:59.500 --> 00:37:00.039 good work 00:37:00.039 --> 00:37:01.319 in you 00:37:01.320 --> 00:37:02.420 and among 00:37:02.420 --> 00:37:02.900 those 00:37:02.900 --> 00:37:04.460 precious to 00:37:04.460 --> 00:37:04.800 you in 00:37:04.800 --> 00:37:05.400 that place. 00:37:06.180 --> 00:37:06.480 Let's 00:37:06.480 --> 00:37:06.700 pray. 00:37:08.380 --> 00:37:09.340 Father, we 00:37:09.340 --> 00:37:10.260 thank you 00:37:10.260 --> 00:37:10.860 for family. 00:37:11.640 --> 00:37:12.039 We thank 00:37:12.039 --> 00:37:12.240 you that 00:37:12.240 --> 00:37:12.760 every one 00:37:12.760 --> 00:37:13.539 of us 00:37:13.539 --> 00:37:14.580 has 00:37:14.580 --> 00:37:15.380 experience 00:37:15.380 --> 00:37:16.539 of family 00:37:16.539 --> 00:37:17.900 in some 00:37:17.900 --> 00:37:18.240 way or 00:37:18.240 --> 00:37:18.480 another. 00:37:19.240 --> 00:37:19.600 And we 00:37:19.600 --> 00:37:20.300 thank you 00:37:20.300 --> 00:37:20.960 that even 00:37:20.960 --> 00:37:22.740 as we 00:37:22.740 --> 00:37:23.760 reflect on 00:37:23.760 --> 00:37:24.800 families that 00:37:24.800 --> 00:37:25.480 fall very 00:37:25.480 --> 00:37:26.240 far short 00:37:26.240 --> 00:37:26.700 of your 00:37:26.700 --> 00:37:27.680 good standards, 00:37:28.480 --> 00:37:29.000 of your 00:37:29.000 --> 00:37:29.940 template for 00:37:29.940 --> 00:37:31.320 life, yet 00:37:31.320 --> 00:37:32.400 we in 00:37:32.400 --> 00:37:33.340 Christ can 00:37:33.340 --> 00:37:33.740 be brought 00:37:33.740 --> 00:37:34.260 into a 00:37:34.260 --> 00:37:35.519 family which 00:37:35.519 --> 00:37:36.019 is being 00:37:36.019 --> 00:37:36.679 worked out 00:37:36.679 --> 00:37:37.539 according to 00:37:37.539 --> 00:37:37.940 those good 00:37:37.940 --> 00:37:38.480 purposes, 00:37:38.800 --> 00:37:39.480 that family 00:37:39.480 --> 00:37:40.099 that will 00:37:40.099 --> 00:37:41.240 transcend this 00:37:41.240 --> 00:37:42.099 life itself, 00:37:42.820 --> 00:37:43.380 that we will 00:37:43.380 --> 00:37:43.860 be your 00:37:43.860 --> 00:37:44.599 children, the 00:37:44.599 --> 00:37:45.280 children of 00:37:45.280 --> 00:37:46.599 the one 00:37:46.599 --> 00:37:47.159 perfect 00:37:47.159 --> 00:37:47.559 Father. 00:37:48.400 --> 00:37:48.619 So, 00:37:48.740 --> 00:37:49.079 Father, I 00:37:49.079 --> 00:37:49.800 just pray that 00:37:49.800 --> 00:37:50.200 you will 00:37:50.200 --> 00:37:51.220 bless these 00:37:51.220 --> 00:37:52.039 random 00:37:52.039 --> 00:37:52.740 thoughts to 00:37:52.740 --> 00:37:53.840 us, that 00:37:53.840 --> 00:37:54.380 the things 00:37:54.380 --> 00:37:55.300 which haven't 00:37:55.300 --> 00:37:55.940 been helpful, 00:37:56.200 --> 00:37:56.780 that perhaps 00:37:56.780 --> 00:37:57.059 have been 00:37:57.059 --> 00:37:57.780 arbitrary, will 00:37:57.780 --> 00:37:58.440 be quickly 00:37:58.440 --> 00:37:59.619 dispensed with 00:37:59.619 --> 00:38:00.179 and forgotten, 00:38:00.900 --> 00:38:01.500 but Father, 00:38:01.639 --> 00:38:02.099 where you 00:38:02.099 --> 00:38:02.759 have spoken, 00:38:03.079 --> 00:38:03.920 where you 00:38:03.920 --> 00:38:05.099 have breathed 00:38:05.099 --> 00:38:05.719 truth out 00:38:05.719 --> 00:38:06.199 through your 00:38:06.199 --> 00:38:07.380 words and 00:38:07.380 --> 00:38:08.839 through our 00:38:08.839 --> 00:38:09.699 thoughts tonight, 00:38:10.259 --> 00:38:10.619 that they 00:38:10.619 --> 00:38:11.359 would help us 00:38:11.359 --> 00:38:11.920 to have 00:38:11.920 --> 00:38:12.759 families and 00:38:12.759 --> 00:38:13.619 to be parents 00:38:13.619 --> 00:38:14.440 and grandparents 00:38:14.440 --> 00:38:15.420 and brothers 00:38:15.420 --> 00:38:16.179 and sisters 00:38:16.179 --> 00:38:16.799 and church 00:38:16.799 --> 00:38:18.179 members who 00:38:18.179 --> 00:38:19.639 reflect something 00:38:19.639 --> 00:38:20.079 of your 00:38:20.079 --> 00:38:21.319 goodness and 00:38:21.319 --> 00:38:21.960 your love and 00:38:21.960 --> 00:38:23.119 your care for 00:38:23.119 --> 00:38:23.460 us. 00:38:23.940 --> 00:38:24.380 So we commit 00:38:24.380 --> 00:38:25.139 these things to 00:38:25.139 --> 00:38:25.619 you now and 00:38:25.619 --> 00:38:26.359 ask your blessing 00:38:26.359 --> 00:38:27.559 upon us for 00:38:27.559 --> 00:38:28.380 Jesus' sake. 00:38:29.099 --> 00:38:29.400 Amen. 00:38:30.259 --> 00:38:31.380 Amen. 00:38:31.639 --> 00:38:32.599 Amen. 00:38:32.739 --> 00:38:33.960 Amen. 00:38:34.440 --> 00:38:34.719 Amen. 00:38:35.099 --> 00:38:35.119 Amen. 00:38:35.119 --> 00:38:35.279 Amen. 00:38:35.699 --> 00:38:35.980 Amen. 00:38:48.359 --> 00:38:49.420 Amen. 00:38:49.420 --> 00:38:49.839 Amen. 00:38:51.179 --> 00:38:51.480 Amen. 00:38:54.079 --> 00:38:54.199 Amen. 00:38:55.519 --> 00:38:56.539 Amen. 00:38:56.619 --> 00:38:57.219 Amen. 00:38:57.219 --> 00:38:57.599 Amen. 00:38:57.599 --> 00:38:57.859 Amen. 00:38:57.859 --> 00:38:58.539 Amen. 00:38:58.579 --> 00:38:58.719 Amen.