WEBVTT 00:00:00.880 --> 00:00:06.960 Welcome again, if you don't know me, my name is Chris, I'm one of the leaders here, and 00:00:06.960 --> 00:00:11.939 we're starting in a new series which is like a time bomb. 00:00:13.000 --> 00:00:20.740 It's the kind of issue that churches divide over, people leave the faith over, it's an 00:00:20.740 --> 00:00:27.179 issue which both scares and excites us, because if you start talking about sex, the room is 00:00:27.179 --> 00:00:27.900 usually full. 00:00:28.660 --> 00:00:35.699 But it's a very challenging topic, I think, for many of us, and we want to start in this 00:00:35.699 --> 00:00:42.539 series because if you look at the world that we live in, the world we live in is very different 00:00:42.539 --> 00:00:45.060 from the world 20 or 30 years ago, right? 00:00:46.119 --> 00:00:51.399 Just our culture is sex-saturated, right? 00:00:51.399 --> 00:00:57.840 You just go down to Causeway Bay, look at the billboards there, you think about music videos, 00:00:57.899 --> 00:00:59.199 you think about online porn. 00:00:59.679 --> 00:01:04.900 Sex is big business, sex sells pretty much most things, right? 00:01:05.780 --> 00:01:13.099 And it's not just the kind of, the fact that it's everywhere, it deeply impacts us in every 00:01:13.099 --> 00:01:15.500 area of our lives, some very personal ways. 00:01:15.500 --> 00:01:22.500 Whether that's from the gay rights to transgender to broken marriages to women complaining about 00:01:22.500 --> 00:01:27.840 not having adequate quality guys in Hong Kong to men despairing that no money, no honey. 00:01:27.840 --> 00:01:32.920 And then we have the selfie culture, which, you know, if you're walking along the road, you 00:01:32.920 --> 00:01:37.920 just see everyone trying to look as sexy as possible because it's all, we all judge each 00:01:37.920 --> 00:01:42.040 other based on our appearance and what and sexy counts. 00:01:42.040 --> 00:01:49.060 And then we have cohabitation and divorce on the rise and we have compensated dating, we have 00:01:49.060 --> 00:01:54.000 consumer sex, we have online hookup websites, we have apps like Tinder, and then we haven't 00:01:54.000 --> 00:01:59.960 even begun to start talking about Me Too campaigns, the sexual bullying and pressure at schools, and 00:01:59.960 --> 00:02:01.740 you could go on and on and on, okay? 00:02:01.860 --> 00:02:03.080 Does anyone know what I'm talking about? 00:02:03.820 --> 00:02:04.100 Right? 00:02:04.360 --> 00:02:04.940 It's everywhere. 00:02:04.939 --> 00:02:05.060 Everywhere. 00:02:06.159 --> 00:02:13.240 And in churches, whether you're married or you're single, the shame of sexual sin or the 00:02:13.240 --> 00:02:17.579 longing for intimacy is very prevalent. 00:02:18.740 --> 00:02:26.000 And the church has often seemed to come across very harsh and often even hypocritical because 00:02:26.000 --> 00:02:30.560 it's often married pastors like me who are even failing in their own marriages, just tell 00:02:30.560 --> 00:02:32.620 everybody else, just don't do it. 00:02:32.620 --> 00:02:37.080 And they just say, don't, just say no. 00:02:37.280 --> 00:02:38.780 That's the message you get. 00:02:39.580 --> 00:02:43.860 And it all seems very unfair and even harmful to people. 00:02:45.759 --> 00:02:50.060 And I don't know where you personally are up to with this area. 00:02:51.060 --> 00:02:55.620 But my prayer is, the reason we want to go through this as a series is because we want to have an 00:02:55.620 --> 00:03:01.980 open conversation and for us to hear from God rather than just hearing from the culture of what 00:03:01.979 --> 00:03:03.459 he wants to say to us. 00:03:03.959 --> 00:03:10.060 So that I, my prayer is that your heart would be open for him to speak to you wherever you 00:03:10.060 --> 00:03:11.000 are right now. 00:03:13.239 --> 00:03:18.479 Because, you know, we've, we've seen even in the, we deliberately did the series in one 00:03:18.479 --> 00:03:25.359 Peter first because we wanted us to see the calling that God has on us as a community to be a distinctive 00:03:25.359 --> 00:03:27.780 community in a tough world. 00:03:28.639 --> 00:03:35.819 And we're living in a city which we need to have a different, more beautiful story than the story our 00:03:35.819 --> 00:03:37.319 culture is telling us. 00:03:37.319 --> 00:03:45.579 And we need to know the story that the Bible gives of sexuality, not just up here, but deep 00:03:45.579 --> 00:03:46.099 in here. 00:03:46.180 --> 00:03:53.400 We need to know it inside out so that our lives are shaped by this story because we find it 00:03:53.400 --> 00:03:54.759 attractive and compelling. 00:03:55.719 --> 00:03:58.379 That's what God wants to do in us as a community. 00:03:58.379 --> 00:04:11.079 And so the same kind of situation we face in Paul's day, their young church that he's talking 00:04:11.079 --> 00:04:16.019 to in 1 Corinthians was also surrounded by a sex-saturated culture. 00:04:17.159 --> 00:04:23.199 And Paul speaks to two views of sex that were very prevalent as they are today in his world. 00:04:23.199 --> 00:04:30.819 And he's going to show us actually the Christian view was totally radically unique than any other 00:04:30.819 --> 00:04:31.899 view that was there. 00:04:33.360 --> 00:04:38.120 And so the first view is actually found in chapter 7, verse 1. 00:04:39.180 --> 00:04:44.339 First view is, it's not good for a man, sorry, it's good for a man not to have sex with a woman. 00:04:45.579 --> 00:04:53.060 So traditional Chinese culture, often traditional church culture, the message is sex 00:04:53.060 --> 00:04:56.560 and sexual desire is necessary, but it's really unclean. 00:04:57.079 --> 00:04:58.079 You know, it's taboo. 00:04:58.160 --> 00:05:00.500 You just don't talk about it, okay? 00:05:00.660 --> 00:05:02.280 Because it's a little bit dirty. 00:05:04.079 --> 00:05:09.199 You know, I'm from UK and they used to have this film which used to say, no sex please, 00:05:09.279 --> 00:05:09.680 we're British. 00:05:10.340 --> 00:05:14.279 And I think we have this kind of, no sex please, we're Christian. 00:05:14.620 --> 00:05:16.579 You know, that's kind of what we come across. 00:05:16.579 --> 00:05:25.099 Like, how many of you, did your parents talk openly to you about sex and sexuality, boundaries 00:05:25.099 --> 00:05:26.719 in dating, all those kind of things? 00:05:27.839 --> 00:05:34.240 How many of us in church have ever heard people talk about how to have good sex within marriage? 00:05:35.519 --> 00:05:35.759 Anyone? 00:05:36.759 --> 00:05:43.300 Like, if the only time that we talk about sex is usually, don't do it until you're married, 00:05:43.659 --> 00:05:48.699 and then we condemn and shame anyone who doesn't fall in line, that's generally the impression 00:05:48.699 --> 00:05:49.439 we give. 00:05:50.459 --> 00:05:55.240 Someone, I was reading this the other day, someone said this, religion has only ever made 00:05:55.240 --> 00:05:57.719 us feel bad about sex as if it's shameful and dirty. 00:05:58.300 --> 00:05:59.620 Everything fun is a sin. 00:05:59.620 --> 00:06:05.759 Again, when I abandoned religion, I gave myself permission to have a healthy sex life with 00:06:05.759 --> 00:06:07.579 all that guilt and shame attached. 00:06:10.199 --> 00:06:11.860 That's so common. 00:06:12.920 --> 00:06:17.680 And which is why many people go to the other view of sex, and in Corinth, they had this other 00:06:17.680 --> 00:06:20.680 view of sex, which is found in chapter 6, verse 12. 00:06:22.000 --> 00:06:25.459 It says, the second view is this, all things are lawful for me. 00:06:25.459 --> 00:06:31.359 As long as it doesn't harm anyone, what you do or your neighbors do in the bedroom isn't 00:06:31.359 --> 00:06:31.959 my issue. 00:06:32.519 --> 00:06:33.599 You can do whatever you like. 00:06:33.779 --> 00:06:35.859 You should be free to express yourself. 00:06:36.779 --> 00:06:37.699 It's your body. 00:06:38.259 --> 00:06:39.639 Sex is the way to have happiness. 00:06:40.099 --> 00:06:44.199 So you don't want to restrict anyone from finding happiness in life, do you? 00:06:44.839 --> 00:06:45.899 That's repressive. 00:06:46.359 --> 00:06:49.819 That's what these conservative religious people do. 00:06:50.279 --> 00:06:51.560 Set yourself free. 00:06:51.560 --> 00:06:56.819 So, here was another quote I found in The Guardian from someone sharing about this. 00:06:56.920 --> 00:07:01.980 They said, each individual has the right to explore their own sexual or romantic preferences. 00:07:02.560 --> 00:07:04.680 Nobody ever wants to be placed in a box. 00:07:04.980 --> 00:07:05.800 I never did. 00:07:06.079 --> 00:07:09.139 I just wanted to live my life and love whom I wanted to. 00:07:09.920 --> 00:07:11.620 Has anyone got any friends who say that? 00:07:11.980 --> 00:07:13.220 All of my friends will say that. 00:07:14.259 --> 00:07:15.980 And in Corinth, here's how they argued it. 00:07:16.019 --> 00:07:20.600 They said, the stomach is for food, and the food and food is for the stomach. 00:07:20.600 --> 00:07:26.360 In other words, this is their version of, do you know that, remember that song which 00:07:26.360 --> 00:07:30.820 goes, you and me baby are nothing but mammals, so let's do it like they do it on the Discovery 00:07:30.820 --> 00:07:31.220 Channel. 00:07:31.400 --> 00:07:32.240 Does anyone know that song? 00:07:32.960 --> 00:07:34.780 Everyone's going to be Googling it now afterwards. 00:07:36.620 --> 00:07:37.020 Right? 00:07:38.000 --> 00:07:43.860 What they're saying is, since we just evolved animals, mammals, with natural biological desires, 00:07:44.300 --> 00:07:45.420 sex isn't a big deal. 00:07:45.960 --> 00:07:46.220 Okay? 00:07:46.220 --> 00:07:49.640 If some people can have it, why can't everybody have it? 00:07:49.900 --> 00:07:52.100 Bonobos do it, so why can't we? 00:07:52.500 --> 00:07:52.800 Okay? 00:07:52.980 --> 00:07:54.580 You have needs, fulfill them. 00:07:55.260 --> 00:07:56.160 That's the idea. 00:07:56.840 --> 00:08:01.400 And that's where when people talk about pornography and masturbation and they argue for it, what 00:08:01.400 --> 00:08:04.160 they'll say is, it's just fulfilling a need. 00:08:05.660 --> 00:08:12.000 And so, like Freud, the psychoanalyst said, he said, it's harmful to repress things, so express 00:08:12.000 --> 00:08:12.560 yourself. 00:08:12.560 --> 00:08:15.220 That's what the people in Corinth were saying. 00:08:16.000 --> 00:08:22.459 And so, if you go into Fifty Shades of Grey, everything is okay, as long as it's just consensual. 00:08:23.439 --> 00:08:23.680 Right? 00:08:24.060 --> 00:08:25.160 All things are lawful. 00:08:26.120 --> 00:08:32.899 But we know everything's not okay, as the Me Too movement and sex trafficking shows us. 00:08:32.899 --> 00:08:39.179 We know that if I expressed all my desires, just think of what sometimes you've thought 00:08:39.179 --> 00:08:43.819 about your boss, if we actually expressed them, we'd get locked up. 00:08:44.279 --> 00:08:44.799 Right? 00:08:44.799 --> 00:08:55.500 But in our society, we have no bigger vision and purpose behind sex than our own self-fulfillment. 00:08:56.219 --> 00:09:02.139 And what happens is, if you have few boundaries, the vulnerable always get exploited by the 00:09:02.139 --> 00:09:02.539 strong. 00:09:02.539 --> 00:09:10.500 And so, Paul and Christianity comes with a radically different vision of sexuality, which 00:09:10.500 --> 00:09:11.759 is not the first view. 00:09:12.019 --> 00:09:15.240 It is not, it is good not to have sex. 00:09:15.299 --> 00:09:17.219 It is not, all things are lawful for me. 00:09:17.399 --> 00:09:18.639 It is something else. 00:09:19.399 --> 00:09:21.519 And now, I want to just share that in three things. 00:09:22.319 --> 00:09:28.299 A vision, sexuality, brokenness of sexuality, and a redemption of sexuality. 00:09:29.019 --> 00:09:29.279 Okay? 00:09:29.719 --> 00:09:30.339 Everyone with me? 00:09:30.340 --> 00:09:30.780 Okay. 00:09:31.500 --> 00:09:31.879 Okay. 00:09:32.100 --> 00:09:32.480 Good. 00:09:34.160 --> 00:09:34.560 Okay. 00:09:34.600 --> 00:09:38.960 If you have your bulletin with you, I'm going to go through a little bit of the passage. 00:09:41.019 --> 00:09:51.440 6, verse 13 says, the body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and 00:09:51.440 --> 00:09:53.040 the Lord for the body. 00:09:53.960 --> 00:09:57.720 What he's saying is, there is a purpose to sexuality. 00:09:57.720 --> 00:10:00.540 Sex is not nothing, no big deal. 00:10:00.840 --> 00:10:03.460 Sex is not everything that means to happiness. 00:10:03.879 --> 00:10:08.860 Sex is not dirty or shameful, but sexuality is a sacred calling. 00:10:09.300 --> 00:10:15.320 It is a holy gift because the body, your body, is for the Lord, and the Lord is for your body. 00:10:15.320 --> 00:10:26.040 What he's saying is, anything outside of God's design, what is for him, is sexual immorality. 00:10:26.260 --> 00:10:31.620 What he calls, that's the word in Greek, porneia, which is where we get pornography from. 00:10:32.820 --> 00:10:38.140 Saying anything outside of that is going to miss the purpose for it, of God's design. 00:10:38.139 --> 00:10:40.759 So what is God's design, is the question. 00:10:41.919 --> 00:10:45.159 If you go to Jesus, Matthew 19. 00:10:46.139 --> 00:10:51.179 Jesus is dealing with the kind of hot ethical issue of their day, which was divorce. 00:10:51.360 --> 00:10:56.120 Because pretty much everyone got married, but that seemed overly restrictive to people. 00:10:56.639 --> 00:11:01.960 And so some people wanted to kind of get easy out divorce, so they could just fulfill themselves. 00:11:01.960 --> 00:11:04.980 And they asked Jesus about this, and here's his reply. 00:11:06.019 --> 00:11:06.420 He says, 00:11:06.860 --> 00:11:12.160 Have you not read that he who created them male and female, and said, 00:11:12.620 --> 00:11:17.000 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother, and hold fast to his wife, 00:11:17.180 --> 00:11:19.139 and the two shall become one flesh? 00:11:19.980 --> 00:11:22.100 So they're no longer two, but one flesh. 00:11:22.620 --> 00:11:26.780 And whatever God has joined together, let not man separate. 00:11:28.420 --> 00:11:29.780 Do you see what Jesus is doing? 00:11:29.779 --> 00:11:35.319 He doesn't go, well guys, it's kind of up to you in the debate of what you're wanting to do. 00:11:35.500 --> 00:11:38.839 Because the Bible's difficult, and it's open to lots of interpretation. 00:11:39.360 --> 00:11:40.539 He doesn't do that. 00:11:40.600 --> 00:11:42.799 He says, have you not read? 00:11:43.500 --> 00:11:47.339 And then he goes all the way back to the original design in Genesis 1 and 2. 00:11:48.339 --> 00:11:54.240 He says, God created humans, male and female, in his image. 00:11:55.480 --> 00:11:57.360 Just stop and think about that for a minute. 00:11:57.360 --> 00:12:00.879 God created them male and female. 00:12:01.300 --> 00:12:05.279 In other words, God created sexuality. 00:12:05.899 --> 00:12:08.879 Our sexuality is part of who we are. 00:12:09.120 --> 00:12:12.240 It's not all of who we are, but it's part of who we are. 00:12:13.019 --> 00:12:16.200 It's part of imaging God and his glory. 00:12:16.200 --> 00:12:22.400 You know, he put higher levels of testosterone in men so that they grow beards, 00:12:22.560 --> 00:12:25.160 and you know, they get physically stronger. 00:12:25.500 --> 00:12:26.740 They get man flu. 00:12:27.140 --> 00:12:29.140 And they have a penis. 00:12:29.500 --> 00:12:31.060 I can use that word in church. 00:12:31.840 --> 00:12:37.000 And the woman has extra estrogen in them, 00:12:37.060 --> 00:12:38.379 which is where the breasts develop, 00:12:38.560 --> 00:12:39.840 and they get larger hips, 00:12:39.920 --> 00:12:41.020 and they get a vagina. 00:12:41.540 --> 00:12:43.020 Okay, some of you are getting uncomfortable, 00:12:43.019 --> 00:12:45.860 but it's okay, because it's God's idea. 00:12:46.939 --> 00:12:48.159 It's God's idea. 00:12:48.939 --> 00:12:52.100 And God says, it's not good for man to be alone, 00:12:52.139 --> 00:12:54.679 and he creates Eve, and he brings him to Adam. 00:12:54.919 --> 00:12:57.179 And do you know what the first thing Adam does? 00:12:58.159 --> 00:12:59.399 He goes, woo-hoo! 00:12:59.960 --> 00:13:02.159 He bursts into song. 00:13:02.620 --> 00:13:04.079 It's actually, or it's kind of like a rap. 00:13:04.220 --> 00:13:08.039 He goes, hey, at last, flesh of my flesh, bone of my bones. 00:13:08.039 --> 00:13:08.959 It's a poem. 00:13:10.579 --> 00:13:11.799 Because what is it saying? 00:13:12.339 --> 00:13:14.279 And God says about it, it's good. 00:13:14.399 --> 00:13:15.199 It's good. 00:13:15.339 --> 00:13:16.579 It's very good. 00:13:16.699 --> 00:13:18.599 He's not going, oh, man, what are they up to? 00:13:21.599 --> 00:13:26.039 Because the holy God who created us to worship him 00:13:26.039 --> 00:13:29.779 created everything for his glory and our good, 00:13:30.099 --> 00:13:35.699 created sex and sexual desire for his glory and our good. 00:13:35.700 --> 00:13:41.020 So finding someone physically attractive is not wrong. 00:13:41.840 --> 00:13:44.940 It's meant to lead you to worship God, 00:13:45.240 --> 00:13:47.900 not to a self-indulgent stare. 00:13:48.400 --> 00:13:49.580 You know, I've got friends that go, 00:13:50.200 --> 00:13:52.840 God, I love the summer because everyone's wearing so little. 00:13:53.720 --> 00:13:54.840 That's not worship. 00:13:55.320 --> 00:13:56.879 That's self-indulgence. 00:13:58.020 --> 00:14:01.100 But enjoying the body of your spouse is meant to lead you to say, 00:14:01.160 --> 00:14:03.860 God, you're so good, and to praise him 00:14:03.860 --> 00:14:05.600 because you're goodness. 00:14:07.100 --> 00:14:10.100 But you know when we stay silent and we get embarrassed in church 00:14:10.100 --> 00:14:11.980 in talking about this or as parents, 00:14:13.220 --> 00:14:14.779 maybe because of our upbringing, 00:14:14.940 --> 00:14:16.300 do you know what we're actually saying? 00:14:17.519 --> 00:14:20.820 The message we come across is it isn't good 00:14:20.820 --> 00:14:23.240 because we don't want to talk about it. 00:14:24.300 --> 00:14:26.039 Just thinking that if you're married, 00:14:26.139 --> 00:14:30.139 when was the last time you actually had a conversation as a couple 00:14:30.139 --> 00:14:33.460 about how you can make your sex life better for the glory of God? 00:14:35.779 --> 00:14:36.819 Because it's good. 00:14:37.879 --> 00:14:40.899 But what we do is we end up twisting this. 00:14:42.659 --> 00:14:44.699 And no wonder people go from, 00:14:44.819 --> 00:14:47.980 it's not good for a man to have sex with a woman, 00:14:48.259 --> 00:14:51.600 to everything is lawful very quickly 00:14:51.600 --> 00:14:54.500 because we have desires that God has made. 00:14:54.500 --> 00:14:57.580 And this is why we need to be talking about this 00:14:57.580 --> 00:15:01.059 and get beyond the fear and the shame that we held. 00:15:01.960 --> 00:15:02.679 It is good. 00:15:03.659 --> 00:15:05.759 But the design is not just it is good. 00:15:06.840 --> 00:15:09.039 He then says, Jesus then says, 00:15:09.100 --> 00:15:11.019 since God made us sexual beings, 00:15:11.720 --> 00:15:14.279 therefore, therefore, 00:15:14.860 --> 00:15:17.179 just have sex with whoever you want as long as it's fulfilling. 00:15:18.220 --> 00:15:19.360 No, he doesn't say that. 00:15:19.879 --> 00:15:21.000 He says, therefore, 00:15:21.000 --> 00:15:23.279 a man leaves his father and mother, 00:15:23.759 --> 00:15:25.200 one man, one woman, 00:15:25.460 --> 00:15:30.080 entering into a covenant relationship of commitment with her. 00:15:30.340 --> 00:15:33.000 He holds fast to her. 00:15:33.379 --> 00:15:37.059 That word hold fast means to be glued together, 00:15:38.059 --> 00:15:40.820 to become one flesh. 00:15:41.700 --> 00:15:45.080 And one flesh doesn't just mean physical sex. 00:15:45.980 --> 00:15:50.360 As a society, we're generally fixated on the act of sexual intercourse. 00:15:51.000 --> 00:15:56.379 But the Bible says sexuality is more like what somebody called the mingling of souls. 00:15:57.539 --> 00:16:01.139 It actually embraces the intimacy, 00:16:01.360 --> 00:16:04.360 the vulnerability of being naked and unashamed physically, 00:16:04.559 --> 00:16:07.000 emotionally, relationally before another, 00:16:07.200 --> 00:16:09.919 which includes sexual intercourse, 00:16:10.039 --> 00:16:12.139 but is not only restricted to that. 00:16:12.340 --> 00:16:13.240 It is far bigger. 00:16:14.960 --> 00:16:15.799 You know, chemically, 00:16:15.799 --> 00:16:16.979 when you have sex, 00:16:17.059 --> 00:16:19.099 it releases oxytocin, 00:16:19.459 --> 00:16:20.719 which is the same chemical 00:16:20.719 --> 00:16:23.399 which actually helps a mother bond with her child. 00:16:24.279 --> 00:16:26.379 Because sex is not merely an act. 00:16:26.659 --> 00:16:27.679 It's a whole life, 00:16:27.859 --> 00:16:30.639 whole person bonding experience. 00:16:32.099 --> 00:16:34.399 I don't know if you've seen the movie Vanilla Sky, 00:16:34.539 --> 00:16:36.179 but Cameron Diaz says this, 00:16:36.179 --> 00:16:38.359 When you slept with me, 00:16:39.000 --> 00:16:40.459 your body made a promise, 00:16:41.339 --> 00:16:42.939 though you did not know it. 00:16:43.879 --> 00:16:45.279 Your body made a promise. 00:16:46.059 --> 00:16:48.139 Our society increasingly says, 00:16:48.279 --> 00:16:50.539 sex is for recreation and self-fulfillment, 00:16:50.639 --> 00:16:55.939 but we don't know that we're making a whole life promise when we do it. 00:16:55.940 --> 00:16:57.120 You see, 00:16:57.180 --> 00:16:58.000 some of my friends, 00:16:58.100 --> 00:16:58.480 they say, 00:16:58.560 --> 00:16:59.760 don't commit to someone 00:16:59.760 --> 00:17:02.140 until you know you're sexually compatible. 00:17:03.160 --> 00:17:05.259 But it's really surprising how no one says, 00:17:05.360 --> 00:17:06.120 well, it was good for me, 00:17:06.180 --> 00:17:06.820 but not for you, 00:17:06.920 --> 00:17:08.059 therefore we should break up. 00:17:08.840 --> 00:17:10.920 Because we've actually made it all about ourselves. 00:17:12.460 --> 00:17:13.660 But the scripture says, 00:17:13.740 --> 00:17:16.500 the only place that self should come 00:17:16.500 --> 00:17:18.440 is before giving, 00:17:19.140 --> 00:17:19.660 donation, 00:17:20.299 --> 00:17:20.720 denial. 00:17:22.539 --> 00:17:25.720 And so if someone is not willing to give you their whole life, 00:17:26.559 --> 00:17:28.259 their whole person to you, 00:17:28.660 --> 00:17:29.620 which means legally, 00:17:29.920 --> 00:17:30.299 socially, 00:17:30.559 --> 00:17:31.140 economically, 00:17:31.480 --> 00:17:32.000 spiritually, 00:17:32.580 --> 00:17:34.860 which is what the marriage covenant is about, 00:17:36.059 --> 00:17:37.360 then sex outside of that 00:17:37.360 --> 00:17:41.320 always cheapens the act away from whole person, 00:17:41.700 --> 00:17:44.779 whole self-giving experience to the other 00:17:44.779 --> 00:17:46.720 for the glory and worship of God. 00:17:48.019 --> 00:17:48.240 You know, 00:17:48.240 --> 00:17:50.620 it's like taking diamonds and using them as toilet paper, 00:17:51.400 --> 00:17:52.680 and that always hurts. 00:17:55.940 --> 00:17:58.660 So in our marriages, 00:18:00.660 --> 00:18:01.440 guys, 00:18:01.519 --> 00:18:03.680 we need to be taking the initiative to say, 00:18:03.880 --> 00:18:06.860 how can I develop deeper intimacy, 00:18:07.220 --> 00:18:09.340 relational intimacy in my marriage? 00:18:10.400 --> 00:18:12.000 To be asking our partners, 00:18:12.120 --> 00:18:13.660 what do you find sexually arousing? 00:18:14.600 --> 00:18:16.140 So that I can serve you better. 00:18:16.460 --> 00:18:17.460 It's not just about me. 00:18:18.600 --> 00:18:19.940 And if you're single and you're going, 00:18:20.019 --> 00:18:20.080 well, 00:18:20.120 --> 00:18:20.740 what do I do? 00:18:20.800 --> 00:18:22.820 I've got these desires and I can't do anything with them. 00:18:23.660 --> 00:18:24.720 It's time to say, 00:18:24.800 --> 00:18:24.900 well, 00:18:25.019 --> 00:18:27.000 my body is a gift for the Lord. 00:18:27.000 --> 00:18:33.220 How can I use my singleness to develop greater relational intimacy 00:18:33.220 --> 00:18:35.799 and vulnerability within his church, 00:18:36.059 --> 00:18:36.940 within the community, 00:18:37.099 --> 00:18:38.680 particularly with people of the same gender? 00:18:39.440 --> 00:18:43.119 How can I learn not to indulge myself by just going on 50 holidays, 00:18:43.579 --> 00:18:46.480 but actually learn self-sacrifice on his mission? 00:18:47.440 --> 00:18:50.960 Because I'm learning that true sexuality of self-giving. 00:18:52.140 --> 00:18:53.220 Does that make sense? 00:18:55.440 --> 00:18:56.579 Sex is good. 00:18:57.000 --> 00:18:59.160 It's about a whole person thing. 00:18:59.299 --> 00:19:00.839 It's about a self-giving thing. 00:19:01.339 --> 00:19:01.980 But secondly, 00:19:02.819 --> 00:19:03.819 sex is broken. 00:19:08.079 --> 00:19:09.920 He says the body is meant for the Lord 00:19:09.920 --> 00:19:11.240 and the Lord for the body. 00:19:12.400 --> 00:19:14.579 But then he has to go on and he says, 00:19:15.319 --> 00:19:16.079 you know, 00:19:16.160 --> 00:19:16.440 guys, 00:19:16.680 --> 00:19:18.859 you were bought with a price. 00:19:20.079 --> 00:19:23.500 He says that down in verse 20. 00:19:23.819 --> 00:19:25.059 You were bought with a price. 00:19:25.099 --> 00:19:26.359 Why does he have to say that? 00:19:26.919 --> 00:19:27.919 Why does he have to say that? 00:19:27.919 --> 00:19:31.399 Paul is saying our sexuality and our desires were made for Jesus. 00:19:31.819 --> 00:19:36.319 But the reason Jesus died and rose again for you and for me, 00:19:36.859 --> 00:19:40.099 and including our bodies to raise them again, 00:19:40.339 --> 00:19:44.339 was because we've become enslaved and kidnapped by our own desires. 00:19:44.339 --> 00:19:49.119 And Jesus pays a ransom on our cross to set us free. 00:19:49.119 --> 00:19:50.159 He's bought us. 00:19:51.259 --> 00:19:51.399 You know, 00:19:51.480 --> 00:19:53.000 I've shared before, 00:19:53.079 --> 00:19:56.399 but I had a former colleague who we got talking, 00:19:56.519 --> 00:20:00.799 and I started sharing to him that Fiona and I were not going to sleep together before we got married. 00:20:00.799 --> 00:20:03.359 And his response to me was, 00:20:03.359 --> 00:20:05.599 I wish I was like you, 00:20:06.259 --> 00:20:08.200 but whenever I see a hot woman, 00:20:08.299 --> 00:20:09.419 I have to sleep with her 00:20:09.419 --> 00:20:12.399 because I'm a slave to my desires. 00:20:13.079 --> 00:20:14.019 He was honest. 00:20:14.019 --> 00:20:16.740 That's it. 00:20:17.740 --> 00:20:19.619 Captivity to your own desires. 00:20:20.859 --> 00:20:21.579 Because you see, 00:20:21.660 --> 00:20:24.440 when Adam and Eve turned away from God, 00:20:24.500 --> 00:20:27.420 they still had those desires for intimacy and fulfillment, 00:20:27.579 --> 00:20:29.720 which were meant to be found in him, 00:20:29.859 --> 00:20:30.359 in God, 00:20:30.359 --> 00:20:32.099 but so they had to start looking elsewhere. 00:20:33.519 --> 00:20:34.179 So you think, 00:20:34.299 --> 00:20:35.319 why does our culture, 00:20:35.439 --> 00:20:37.139 more than any other culture in history, 00:20:37.799 --> 00:20:41.379 like look to romance and sex to be the ultimate fulfillment? 00:20:42.919 --> 00:20:43.359 Why? 00:20:43.599 --> 00:20:45.539 Because we've removed God from our sexuality, 00:20:46.099 --> 00:20:48.459 and so we're now trying to make finding the one, 00:20:48.959 --> 00:20:49.819 our new God. 00:20:51.079 --> 00:20:51.299 You know, 00:20:51.339 --> 00:20:52.459 someone said this, 00:20:52.459 --> 00:20:56.119 every man who rings the brothel bell 00:20:56.119 --> 00:20:59.799 is unconsciously looking for God. 00:21:00.359 --> 00:21:03.240 Here's what somebody else said. 00:21:05.539 --> 00:21:06.179 This guy, 00:21:06.279 --> 00:21:06.799 Ernest Becker, 00:21:06.899 --> 00:21:08.399 he actually was a prize-winning author. 00:21:09.059 --> 00:21:09.379 He said, 00:21:09.519 --> 00:21:10.139 after all, 00:21:11.039 --> 00:21:13.439 what is it that we want 00:21:13.439 --> 00:21:15.159 when we elevate the love partner 00:21:15.159 --> 00:21:16.339 to the position of God? 00:21:16.939 --> 00:21:18.179 We want redemption, 00:21:18.759 --> 00:21:19.379 nothing less. 00:21:19.740 --> 00:21:21.419 We want to be rid of our faults, 00:21:21.699 --> 00:21:23.159 of our feeling of nothingness. 00:21:23.240 --> 00:21:24.259 We want to be justified, 00:21:24.259 --> 00:21:25.839 to know that our creation 00:21:25.839 --> 00:21:27.459 has not been in vain. 00:21:27.819 --> 00:21:29.079 That's what we're looking for 00:21:29.079 --> 00:21:30.219 from somebody else. 00:21:31.359 --> 00:21:32.639 He actually says, 00:21:32.959 --> 00:21:35.119 and no human being can take that weight. 00:21:37.119 --> 00:21:38.199 One more quote. 00:21:39.599 --> 00:21:40.839 Somebody else said this, 00:21:41.500 --> 00:21:41.979 ironically, 00:21:42.240 --> 00:21:43.539 one of the reasons our society 00:21:43.539 --> 00:21:44.699 is so sex-saturated 00:21:44.699 --> 00:21:47.579 is because we're so transcendence-starved. 00:21:48.379 --> 00:21:50.059 Unable to reach the heavens, 00:21:50.179 --> 00:21:51.459 we go under the bedsheets. 00:21:52.019 --> 00:21:53.720 It's because our society senses 00:21:53.720 --> 00:21:55.759 that there must be something more to life, 00:21:56.160 --> 00:21:57.240 something more to sex 00:21:57.240 --> 00:21:58.400 than casual encounters, 00:21:58.779 --> 00:22:01.400 that people continue to ramp up the experience, 00:22:01.700 --> 00:22:02.559 trying new methods, 00:22:02.680 --> 00:22:03.240 new partners, 00:22:03.360 --> 00:22:03.980 new medicines, 00:22:04.440 --> 00:22:05.460 staking their identity 00:22:05.460 --> 00:22:06.440 in their sexuality, 00:22:06.700 --> 00:22:07.799 whatever it takes 00:22:07.799 --> 00:22:09.440 to achieve sexual satisfaction. 00:22:09.440 --> 00:22:11.840 Do you see what he's saying? 00:22:12.960 --> 00:22:13.660 He's saying, 00:22:14.100 --> 00:22:14.779 that one, 00:22:15.100 --> 00:22:15.360 or that, 00:22:15.559 --> 00:22:16.880 in that marriage partner, 00:22:17.140 --> 00:22:18.680 that you either wish you had, 00:22:18.720 --> 00:22:19.220 or that you have, 00:22:19.240 --> 00:22:20.519 and you wish you had another one, 00:22:20.820 --> 00:22:22.900 that is a desire, 00:22:23.000 --> 00:22:24.720 because you're ultimately longing fulfillment 00:22:24.720 --> 00:22:26.080 that only God can provide. 00:22:27.799 --> 00:22:28.039 I mean, 00:22:28.080 --> 00:22:29.220 just ask anyone who's married 00:22:29.220 --> 00:22:30.759 if your spouse fulfills you fully. 00:22:30.759 --> 00:22:34.900 But how many of us, 00:22:35.079 --> 00:22:36.539 if you're married as spouses, 00:22:37.379 --> 00:22:38.619 particularly after an argument 00:22:38.619 --> 00:22:40.579 or you've seen all the faults in your spouse, 00:22:41.099 --> 00:22:42.900 sometimes secretly wish 00:22:42.900 --> 00:22:45.000 that you were married to somebody else? 00:22:47.119 --> 00:22:47.599 Anybody? 00:22:49.500 --> 00:22:50.779 Okay, I've got some nods, 00:22:50.819 --> 00:22:51.720 so we're getting honest now. 00:22:51.759 --> 00:22:52.359 This is good. 00:22:53.900 --> 00:22:55.119 Just look at your partner 00:22:55.119 --> 00:22:55.379 and say, 00:22:55.440 --> 00:22:55.980 I'm sorry. 00:22:58.240 --> 00:22:59.740 But why do we do that? 00:22:59.740 --> 00:23:01.279 It's because at that moment, 00:23:01.420 --> 00:23:02.759 we're looking to a human 00:23:02.759 --> 00:23:05.240 to fulfill that deep longing and desire 00:23:05.240 --> 00:23:07.000 that only God can fulfill. 00:23:10.160 --> 00:23:11.839 And this is so important for us 00:23:11.839 --> 00:23:13.240 as a church to get. 00:23:13.839 --> 00:23:16.140 In a church community like ours, 00:23:17.180 --> 00:23:19.559 when we hear about marriages breaking down, 00:23:19.620 --> 00:23:20.700 when we hear about adulting, 00:23:20.759 --> 00:23:22.420 when we hear about sexual sin 00:23:22.420 --> 00:23:23.539 or someone coming out as gay 00:23:23.539 --> 00:23:24.200 or transgender, 00:23:24.700 --> 00:23:25.039 whatever, 00:23:25.299 --> 00:23:26.539 our natural tendency 00:23:26.539 --> 00:23:28.380 is often to go into shock 00:23:28.380 --> 00:23:29.180 or to go, 00:23:29.180 --> 00:23:30.220 how could they? 00:23:30.860 --> 00:23:31.960 And then we begin to judge 00:23:31.960 --> 00:23:32.680 or get scared 00:23:32.680 --> 00:23:33.220 and withdraw. 00:23:34.259 --> 00:23:35.519 Because in our hearts, 00:23:35.660 --> 00:23:37.019 we believe the lie 00:23:37.019 --> 00:23:38.600 that if we're married or single 00:23:38.600 --> 00:23:39.799 and we're not sleeping around, 00:23:39.980 --> 00:23:41.100 we're sexual saints 00:23:41.100 --> 00:23:43.580 and everyone else is a sexual deviant. 00:23:45.360 --> 00:23:46.700 But Jesus said, 00:23:47.500 --> 00:23:49.160 out of the hearts 00:23:49.160 --> 00:23:51.039 comes porneia, 00:23:51.400 --> 00:23:53.200 lust, envy, greed. 00:23:54.680 --> 00:23:56.100 You see what Jesus is saying 00:23:56.100 --> 00:23:56.840 when he says that? 00:23:56.839 --> 00:23:58.459 And this is what the gospel says. 00:23:58.559 --> 00:23:59.959 Our greatest problem 00:23:59.959 --> 00:24:02.019 in the area of sexuality 00:24:02.019 --> 00:24:04.319 is not our sexual orientation 00:24:04.319 --> 00:24:06.059 or what we do with our genitals. 00:24:06.339 --> 00:24:07.899 It's our heart orientation. 00:24:09.039 --> 00:24:10.839 It's because we are self-centered, 00:24:11.059 --> 00:24:11.839 self-gratifying, 00:24:12.039 --> 00:24:13.059 self-pleasing 00:24:13.059 --> 00:24:14.679 instead of God-glorifying, 00:24:14.879 --> 00:24:15.419 self-giving, 00:24:15.599 --> 00:24:16.319 self-denying, 00:24:16.480 --> 00:24:17.539 intimate relationships. 00:24:19.519 --> 00:24:19.699 You know, 00:24:19.740 --> 00:24:21.019 that's the issue with masturbation. 00:24:21.920 --> 00:24:22.559 It's actually 00:24:22.559 --> 00:24:24.180 not about self-giving. 00:24:24.599 --> 00:24:25.920 It's about self-taking 00:24:25.920 --> 00:24:26.759 for me. 00:24:29.299 --> 00:24:30.639 If I can be real now, 00:24:30.720 --> 00:24:31.279 which means 00:24:31.279 --> 00:24:34.240 every single one of us 00:24:34.240 --> 00:24:35.119 in this room 00:24:35.119 --> 00:24:36.799 is a sexual sinner. 00:24:38.119 --> 00:24:38.960 Do you know that? 00:24:39.759 --> 00:24:41.200 Every one of us. 00:24:41.599 --> 00:24:43.039 Because every one of us 00:24:43.039 --> 00:24:44.539 is living in a way 00:24:44.539 --> 00:24:45.700 of our heart orientation 00:24:45.700 --> 00:24:47.000 which is not fully 00:24:47.000 --> 00:24:48.639 seeking to glorify God 00:24:48.640 --> 00:24:50.180 and self-give to others. 00:24:51.000 --> 00:24:51.220 You see, 00:24:51.280 --> 00:24:52.440 some of us are into porn. 00:24:53.240 --> 00:24:54.240 Some of us have sex 00:24:54.240 --> 00:24:55.000 outside of that 00:24:55.000 --> 00:24:55.700 full body, 00:24:55.820 --> 00:24:56.100 mind, 00:24:56.280 --> 00:24:57.060 soul commitment. 00:24:57.640 --> 00:24:59.080 Some of us actually believe 00:24:59.080 --> 00:25:00.540 our value and our worth 00:25:00.540 --> 00:25:01.860 is found in finding 00:25:01.860 --> 00:25:03.380 a partner for us 00:25:03.380 --> 00:25:04.680 or whether we're 00:25:04.680 --> 00:25:05.860 in a relationship or not. 00:25:06.200 --> 00:25:07.300 Do you know that's idolatry? 00:25:08.320 --> 00:25:08.500 You know, 00:25:08.560 --> 00:25:09.080 some of us, 00:25:09.180 --> 00:25:09.880 because in marriage 00:25:09.880 --> 00:25:11.060 we've been withholding, 00:25:11.140 --> 00:25:12.040 not self-giving. 00:25:14.160 --> 00:25:14.800 Some of us, 00:25:14.840 --> 00:25:16.180 our marriages are functional 00:25:16.180 --> 00:25:17.660 and we just kind of 00:25:17.660 --> 00:25:18.720 do the tasks, 00:25:18.960 --> 00:25:19.279 kids, 00:25:19.480 --> 00:25:19.940 other stuff, 00:25:20.019 --> 00:25:20.620 but we're devoid 00:25:20.620 --> 00:25:21.920 of passion and intimacy 00:25:21.920 --> 00:25:24.019 and love 00:25:24.019 --> 00:25:24.660 and we've taken 00:25:24.660 --> 00:25:26.360 no steps to remedy it 00:25:26.360 --> 00:25:28.500 and it doesn't glorify God. 00:25:29.180 --> 00:25:30.580 We're all in the same boat, 00:25:30.700 --> 00:25:31.120 guys. 00:25:31.940 --> 00:25:32.519 I am, 00:25:32.700 --> 00:25:33.460 we all are. 00:25:33.600 --> 00:25:34.400 We're all broken 00:25:34.400 --> 00:25:35.540 in this area 00:25:35.540 --> 00:25:36.800 in some ways or other. 00:25:38.980 --> 00:25:40.620 And we all have 00:25:40.620 --> 00:25:42.180 not just sexual sin, 00:25:42.259 --> 00:25:42.840 we also have 00:25:42.840 --> 00:25:44.060 sexual sufferers. 00:25:45.700 --> 00:25:45.920 Like, 00:25:45.920 --> 00:25:46.560 just think, 00:25:46.660 --> 00:25:47.480 how many of you 00:25:47.480 --> 00:25:49.600 had parents 00:25:49.600 --> 00:25:50.279 whose marriage 00:25:50.279 --> 00:25:51.080 was emotionally 00:25:51.080 --> 00:25:52.160 dysfunctional? 00:25:54.880 --> 00:25:55.740 Many of us. 00:25:56.779 --> 00:25:57.600 How many of us 00:25:57.600 --> 00:25:58.340 have desires 00:25:58.340 --> 00:25:59.180 for that whole life 00:25:59.180 --> 00:25:59.980 bonding with someone 00:25:59.980 --> 00:26:00.539 and we're going, 00:26:00.700 --> 00:26:02.480 will I ever find someone? 00:26:03.860 --> 00:26:05.180 And there is a suffering 00:26:05.180 --> 00:26:07.200 involved in that. 00:26:08.039 --> 00:26:08.680 And sometimes 00:26:08.680 --> 00:26:09.539 that suffering 00:26:09.539 --> 00:26:10.660 makes us doubt 00:26:10.660 --> 00:26:11.259 the goodness 00:26:11.259 --> 00:26:12.440 of God's design. 00:26:12.440 --> 00:26:16.860 you know, 00:26:17.220 --> 00:26:18.920 but if we get 00:26:18.920 --> 00:26:19.700 that reality 00:26:19.700 --> 00:26:21.279 that we're both 00:26:21.279 --> 00:26:22.000 sexual sinners 00:26:22.000 --> 00:26:23.460 and sexual sufferers, 00:26:23.620 --> 00:26:24.460 then we'll not be 00:26:24.460 --> 00:26:25.000 a church 00:26:25.000 --> 00:26:25.539 when somebody 00:26:25.539 --> 00:26:26.160 comes in 00:26:26.160 --> 00:26:27.220 and comes up to you. 00:26:27.460 --> 00:26:27.620 Like, 00:26:27.680 --> 00:26:28.559 so many of my friends 00:26:28.559 --> 00:26:28.860 say, 00:26:29.000 --> 00:26:29.700 I don't want to go 00:26:29.700 --> 00:26:30.180 to church 00:26:30.180 --> 00:26:31.059 because I know 00:26:31.059 --> 00:26:31.759 what I'm going to get 00:26:31.759 --> 00:26:32.660 from church people. 00:26:33.420 --> 00:26:34.160 So many of us 00:26:34.160 --> 00:26:34.820 don't actually want 00:26:34.820 --> 00:26:35.680 to admit the things 00:26:35.680 --> 00:26:36.220 which are going on 00:26:36.220 --> 00:26:36.539 in our lives 00:26:36.539 --> 00:26:37.320 because we're afraid 00:26:37.320 --> 00:26:37.660 that we're going 00:26:37.660 --> 00:26:38.180 to be judged 00:26:38.180 --> 00:26:38.840 and condemned. 00:26:39.819 --> 00:26:40.639 But if you see 00:26:40.639 --> 00:26:41.179 that actually 00:26:41.179 --> 00:26:41.779 all of us 00:26:41.779 --> 00:26:42.599 are in the same boat, 00:26:42.659 --> 00:26:43.220 what that does, 00:26:43.299 --> 00:26:44.199 that liberates us 00:26:44.199 --> 00:26:44.559 to say, 00:26:44.679 --> 00:26:45.839 this is the areas 00:26:45.839 --> 00:26:46.759 where I have messed up. 00:26:46.819 --> 00:26:47.439 These are the areas 00:26:47.439 --> 00:26:48.279 where I'm struggling 00:26:48.279 --> 00:26:49.079 and we begin 00:26:49.079 --> 00:26:49.839 to walk alongside 00:26:49.839 --> 00:26:50.539 each other. 00:26:51.339 --> 00:26:52.039 And like Jesus, 00:26:52.220 --> 00:26:52.379 you know, 00:26:52.419 --> 00:26:52.879 with the woman 00:26:52.879 --> 00:26:53.399 who was caught 00:26:53.399 --> 00:26:54.099 in adultery, 00:26:54.319 --> 00:26:55.259 he was brought to her. 00:26:55.339 --> 00:26:55.859 She'd come out 00:26:55.859 --> 00:26:56.299 of a hot, 00:26:56.459 --> 00:26:57.179 steamy affair. 00:26:57.299 --> 00:26:58.299 It was not good. 00:26:58.919 --> 00:27:00.000 And yet Jesus says 00:27:00.000 --> 00:27:00.419 to her, 00:27:01.419 --> 00:27:02.720 I don't condemn you. 00:27:04.339 --> 00:27:05.699 I don't condemn you. 00:27:06.619 --> 00:27:07.339 But he says, 00:27:07.439 --> 00:27:08.179 don't go and sin 00:27:08.179 --> 00:27:08.699 any longer. 00:27:09.839 --> 00:27:10.659 As a church, 00:27:10.699 --> 00:27:11.359 we're not about 00:27:11.359 --> 00:27:12.359 judging people 00:27:12.359 --> 00:27:13.480 who sin, 00:27:13.559 --> 00:27:14.240 but we're also not 00:27:14.240 --> 00:27:14.699 about people 00:27:14.699 --> 00:27:15.139 just saying, 00:27:15.480 --> 00:27:16.000 hey, it's okay. 00:27:16.059 --> 00:27:16.839 It's just your choice. 00:27:16.919 --> 00:27:17.359 We're going to say, 00:27:17.419 --> 00:27:18.000 hey, it's okay 00:27:18.000 --> 00:27:18.899 not to be okay. 00:27:19.319 --> 00:27:20.000 But we're going 00:27:20.000 --> 00:27:20.659 to walk alongside 00:27:20.659 --> 00:27:21.220 each other 00:27:21.220 --> 00:27:22.220 to not stay there, 00:27:22.319 --> 00:27:23.119 but to come into 00:27:23.119 --> 00:27:23.919 God's design 00:27:23.919 --> 00:27:24.399 for what he's 00:27:24.399 --> 00:27:25.199 called us to be. 00:27:28.759 --> 00:27:30.079 That's the brokenness 00:27:30.079 --> 00:27:31.699 that we experience. 00:27:33.220 --> 00:27:34.079 Sexuality's good, 00:27:34.839 --> 00:27:35.740 but we all suffer 00:27:35.740 --> 00:27:36.819 from ourselves, 00:27:36.819 --> 00:27:37.879 from other people, 00:27:37.880 --> 00:27:39.520 but the third thing 00:27:39.520 --> 00:27:42.460 is the redemption 00:27:42.460 --> 00:27:43.720 of sexuality. 00:27:45.140 --> 00:27:46.440 I've got three things 00:27:46.440 --> 00:27:47.820 from the passage 00:27:47.820 --> 00:27:49.040 which it shows us 00:27:49.040 --> 00:27:52.280 of how the gospel 00:27:52.280 --> 00:27:53.780 reshapes our sexuality. 00:27:55.180 --> 00:27:56.020 First thing, 00:27:57.300 --> 00:27:58.320 you're already taken. 00:28:00.320 --> 00:28:01.300 It says here, 00:28:01.299 --> 00:28:05.980 for he who is joined 00:28:05.980 --> 00:28:06.539 to the Lord, 00:28:06.599 --> 00:28:07.399 this verse 17, 00:28:07.659 --> 00:28:09.639 becomes one spirit 00:28:09.639 --> 00:28:10.579 with him. 00:28:11.480 --> 00:28:12.680 And then verse 19, 00:28:12.779 --> 00:28:13.480 it says this, 00:28:13.819 --> 00:28:14.799 or do you not know 00:28:14.799 --> 00:28:15.559 that your body 00:28:15.559 --> 00:28:16.259 is a temple 00:28:16.259 --> 00:28:17.159 of the Holy Spirit 00:28:17.159 --> 00:28:17.759 within you 00:28:17.759 --> 00:28:18.500 whom you have 00:28:18.500 --> 00:28:19.059 from God? 00:28:19.519 --> 00:28:20.940 You are not your own. 00:28:21.200 --> 00:28:21.779 You were bought 00:28:21.779 --> 00:28:22.440 with a price, 00:28:22.559 --> 00:28:23.460 so glorify God 00:28:23.460 --> 00:28:24.000 in your body. 00:28:25.639 --> 00:28:26.519 You know that word 00:28:26.519 --> 00:28:27.039 joined? 00:28:27.700 --> 00:28:28.379 It's the same word 00:28:28.379 --> 00:28:29.379 that Jesus used 00:28:29.380 --> 00:28:30.840 for what happens 00:28:30.840 --> 00:28:31.500 when a husband 00:28:31.500 --> 00:28:32.900 holds fast, 00:28:33.140 --> 00:28:33.600 joins, 00:28:33.800 --> 00:28:34.340 same word, 00:28:34.520 --> 00:28:35.360 to his wife. 00:28:37.060 --> 00:28:37.820 He's saying, 00:28:38.140 --> 00:28:38.340 do you know, 00:28:38.400 --> 00:28:39.240 the Bible starts 00:28:39.240 --> 00:28:39.820 with a wedding 00:28:39.820 --> 00:28:40.460 and it ends 00:28:40.460 --> 00:28:41.060 with a wedding, 00:28:41.560 --> 00:28:42.540 and our sexuality 00:28:42.540 --> 00:28:43.620 now is a trailer 00:28:43.620 --> 00:28:44.800 for that final day 00:28:44.800 --> 00:28:46.640 when we will see 00:28:46.640 --> 00:28:47.620 our great lover, 00:28:48.300 --> 00:28:48.940 the one that we 00:28:48.940 --> 00:28:50.120 are joined to. 00:28:50.119 --> 00:28:52.419 because that whole 00:28:52.419 --> 00:28:53.319 Bible story 00:28:53.319 --> 00:28:54.479 is about a story 00:28:54.479 --> 00:28:55.239 as God is a 00:28:55.239 --> 00:28:56.319 passionate lover 00:28:56.319 --> 00:28:57.979 seeking a rebellious 00:28:57.979 --> 00:28:59.419 people as his bride. 00:29:00.719 --> 00:29:01.399 And his greatest 00:29:01.399 --> 00:29:02.459 demonstration 00:29:02.459 --> 00:29:03.859 of sexuality 00:29:03.859 --> 00:29:04.919 in the way 00:29:04.919 --> 00:29:05.559 that God has 00:29:05.559 --> 00:29:06.259 demanded it 00:29:06.259 --> 00:29:07.319 and called for it 00:29:07.319 --> 00:29:10.459 is a love 00:29:10.459 --> 00:29:12.559 which is self-giving, 00:29:12.759 --> 00:29:13.719 self-sacrificial, 00:29:14.239 --> 00:29:15.119 dying on a cross 00:29:15.119 --> 00:29:15.819 so that he could 00:29:15.819 --> 00:29:16.879 hold you fast. 00:29:16.880 --> 00:29:20.580 All sexuality 00:29:20.580 --> 00:29:21.300 is providing you 00:29:21.300 --> 00:29:22.160 a taste, 00:29:22.720 --> 00:29:23.360 starter, 00:29:24.500 --> 00:29:25.420 the appetizer 00:29:25.420 --> 00:29:26.760 for the main meal 00:29:26.760 --> 00:29:27.760 which is God himself. 00:29:29.920 --> 00:29:30.800 And so that means 00:29:30.800 --> 00:29:32.280 if you've, 00:29:32.560 --> 00:29:33.400 we come to God 00:29:33.400 --> 00:29:34.460 with nothing in our hands 00:29:34.460 --> 00:29:35.360 but sin and shame. 00:29:36.400 --> 00:29:37.260 If we repent 00:29:37.260 --> 00:29:38.620 and come to him, 00:29:38.920 --> 00:29:40.140 if we've turned to him 00:29:40.140 --> 00:29:41.020 as a believer 00:29:41.020 --> 00:29:41.700 and said, 00:29:41.780 --> 00:29:41.920 God, 00:29:41.980 --> 00:29:42.860 I need you 00:29:42.859 --> 00:29:43.919 to shape 00:29:43.919 --> 00:29:45.639 and to heal me. 00:29:47.279 --> 00:29:48.319 To do what only God 00:29:48.319 --> 00:29:48.899 you can provide. 00:29:48.979 --> 00:29:49.919 Do you know what it says 00:29:49.919 --> 00:29:51.339 in verse 9 and 11 00:29:51.339 --> 00:29:52.179 which we didn't read? 00:29:52.259 --> 00:29:52.659 It says, 00:29:53.679 --> 00:29:54.500 he says to the Corinthians, 00:29:54.639 --> 00:29:55.419 some of you guys 00:29:55.419 --> 00:29:56.319 were just messed up 00:29:56.319 --> 00:29:57.279 in so many ways 00:29:57.279 --> 00:29:57.819 sexually. 00:29:58.759 --> 00:29:59.859 But that is who you, 00:30:00.079 --> 00:30:01.500 that is not who you are. 00:30:02.639 --> 00:30:03.899 That is not who you are. 00:30:03.979 --> 00:30:04.859 That is who you were. 00:30:05.199 --> 00:30:06.059 Some of you right now, 00:30:06.159 --> 00:30:07.240 you have a lot of shame 00:30:07.240 --> 00:30:07.959 in your life. 00:30:08.479 --> 00:30:09.379 You have a lot of things 00:30:09.379 --> 00:30:10.099 that actually you don't 00:30:10.099 --> 00:30:10.599 want to share 00:30:10.599 --> 00:30:11.480 because you know, 00:30:12.500 --> 00:30:13.480 you know some of the things 00:30:13.480 --> 00:30:14.879 and it still weighs on you. 00:30:16.240 --> 00:30:17.639 But this passage says, 00:30:18.139 --> 00:30:19.419 that is who you were, 00:30:19.480 --> 00:30:20.639 that is not who you are now. 00:30:20.939 --> 00:30:21.899 Because you were washed, 00:30:22.199 --> 00:30:23.019 you were sanctified, 00:30:23.179 --> 00:30:23.959 you were justified 00:30:23.959 --> 00:30:24.899 by God, 00:30:24.980 --> 00:30:25.579 you are his. 00:30:26.619 --> 00:30:27.599 Your body is no longer 00:30:27.599 --> 00:30:28.879 yours to do as you please. 00:30:29.579 --> 00:30:30.579 Just as a married guy, 00:30:30.619 --> 00:30:31.679 I can't do what I want. 00:30:32.679 --> 00:30:33.719 But that is not restriction, 00:30:33.919 --> 00:30:34.539 that is freedom 00:30:34.539 --> 00:30:36.099 to focus my attention 00:30:36.099 --> 00:30:37.219 on the intimacy 00:30:37.219 --> 00:30:37.959 and longing 00:30:37.959 --> 00:30:39.000 that I have 00:30:39.000 --> 00:30:39.859 and want to develop 00:30:39.859 --> 00:30:40.779 with my true love 00:30:40.779 --> 00:30:41.559 of God himself. 00:30:43.539 --> 00:30:44.179 You know, 00:30:45.279 --> 00:30:46.099 he says, 00:30:46.699 --> 00:30:49.000 you are a temple 00:30:49.000 --> 00:30:50.419 of the Holy Spirit, 00:30:51.319 --> 00:30:52.619 of his presence. 00:30:52.740 --> 00:30:53.439 Do you know in Hong Kong, 00:30:54.199 --> 00:30:55.059 what's the temple 00:30:55.059 --> 00:30:56.119 in Hong Kong 00:30:56.119 --> 00:30:58.699 where people go to worship? 00:30:59.059 --> 00:30:59.279 Well, 00:30:59.619 --> 00:31:00.719 there's a few little ones, 00:31:01.179 --> 00:31:02.279 but actually the biggest temple 00:31:02.279 --> 00:31:03.119 is the shopping mall. 00:31:04.639 --> 00:31:05.079 Right? 00:31:06.019 --> 00:31:07.339 That's the temple of worship 00:31:07.339 --> 00:31:08.819 in Hong Kong. 00:31:08.819 --> 00:31:11.179 And actually, 00:31:11.460 --> 00:31:12.339 it's the temple 00:31:12.339 --> 00:31:13.299 where we often go 00:31:13.299 --> 00:31:14.579 and trade our bodies 00:31:14.579 --> 00:31:15.819 in for somebody else 00:31:15.819 --> 00:31:16.899 making us feel good. 00:31:17.099 --> 00:31:18.819 Or we withhold intimacy 00:31:18.819 --> 00:31:19.939 and love 00:31:19.939 --> 00:31:20.639 when our desires 00:31:20.639 --> 00:31:21.500 are not satisfied. 00:31:23.279 --> 00:31:24.539 But the gospel says 00:31:24.539 --> 00:31:25.200 you're not a good 00:31:25.200 --> 00:31:25.899 to trade. 00:31:26.700 --> 00:31:28.220 You're not damaged goods 00:31:28.220 --> 00:31:29.079 because you've abused 00:31:29.079 --> 00:31:29.539 your body. 00:31:29.859 --> 00:31:31.099 You're not leftover goods 00:31:31.099 --> 00:31:31.759 because you're not 00:31:31.759 --> 00:31:32.480 in a relationship. 00:31:32.839 --> 00:31:33.519 You're not soon 00:31:33.519 --> 00:31:34.740 to expire goods 00:31:34.740 --> 00:31:36.240 because your sexual desire 00:31:36.240 --> 00:31:36.779 is waning. 00:31:36.779 --> 00:31:37.980 You are the temple 00:31:37.980 --> 00:31:39.160 of the living God. 00:31:39.460 --> 00:31:40.379 That means 00:31:40.379 --> 00:31:41.740 your sacred space. 00:31:42.660 --> 00:31:43.660 You're defined 00:31:43.660 --> 00:31:44.879 by the Spirit of God 00:31:44.879 --> 00:31:45.579 living in you, 00:31:45.799 --> 00:31:47.059 not by anything else 00:31:47.059 --> 00:31:48.779 or what anyone says 00:31:48.779 --> 00:31:49.399 about you. 00:31:49.839 --> 00:31:51.279 So don't cheapen yourself 00:31:51.279 --> 00:31:52.759 for anything less 00:31:52.759 --> 00:31:53.859 than what honors 00:31:53.859 --> 00:31:55.299 and glorifies God 00:31:55.299 --> 00:31:56.000 with your body 00:31:56.000 --> 00:31:57.879 because he selflessly 00:31:57.879 --> 00:31:59.200 gave himself for you. 00:31:59.859 --> 00:32:00.899 And we're to reflect 00:32:00.899 --> 00:32:01.619 that love 00:32:01.619 --> 00:32:02.619 in the way we use 00:32:02.619 --> 00:32:03.200 our own bodies. 00:32:03.200 --> 00:32:06.100 You're already taken. 00:32:06.880 --> 00:32:07.500 Second thing, 00:32:08.380 --> 00:32:09.059 your sexuality 00:32:09.059 --> 00:32:10.279 is a community thing. 00:32:11.740 --> 00:32:12.519 He says, 00:32:13.080 --> 00:32:13.779 do you not know 00:32:13.779 --> 00:32:14.400 that your bodies 00:32:14.400 --> 00:32:15.640 are members of Christ? 00:32:17.299 --> 00:32:18.200 Modern society 00:32:18.200 --> 00:32:19.259 has privatized 00:32:19.259 --> 00:32:19.940 our sexuality 00:32:19.940 --> 00:32:20.720 to be all about 00:32:20.720 --> 00:32:21.299 the individual. 00:32:21.480 --> 00:32:21.799 It's all about 00:32:21.799 --> 00:32:22.400 my desires, 00:32:22.539 --> 00:32:23.059 my identity, 00:32:23.220 --> 00:32:23.720 my choice, 00:32:23.920 --> 00:32:24.420 as long as it doesn't 00:32:24.420 --> 00:32:24.940 harm anyone. 00:32:26.080 --> 00:32:27.380 But Paul is now saying, 00:32:27.740 --> 00:32:28.360 as a church, 00:32:28.480 --> 00:32:29.240 your bodies 00:32:29.240 --> 00:32:31.080 now belong to Christ. 00:32:31.200 --> 00:32:32.279 You are members of him. 00:32:33.039 --> 00:32:33.980 And that word member 00:32:33.980 --> 00:32:35.000 is the same word 00:32:35.000 --> 00:32:35.899 that he later uses 00:32:35.899 --> 00:32:36.879 for being members 00:32:36.879 --> 00:32:38.240 of the church body 00:32:38.240 --> 00:32:39.339 where Christ is ahead 00:32:39.339 --> 00:32:40.319 and we're interconnected 00:32:40.319 --> 00:32:41.279 together. 00:32:42.220 --> 00:32:42.980 And he's saying, 00:32:43.079 --> 00:32:43.859 your sexuality 00:32:43.859 --> 00:32:45.139 doesn't just affect you, 00:32:45.740 --> 00:32:46.339 it affects 00:32:46.339 --> 00:32:47.180 your relationship 00:32:47.180 --> 00:32:47.619 with God 00:32:47.619 --> 00:32:48.279 and your relationships 00:32:48.279 --> 00:32:49.000 with others. 00:32:50.440 --> 00:32:50.700 You know, 00:32:50.759 --> 00:32:51.799 I once got on a plane 00:32:51.799 --> 00:32:53.579 and we're flying 00:32:53.579 --> 00:32:54.799 at 38,000 feet. 00:32:55.000 --> 00:32:55.319 And you know 00:32:55.319 --> 00:32:55.819 on the door 00:32:55.819 --> 00:32:56.740 there are those levers, 00:32:56.879 --> 00:32:57.720 those red levers 00:32:57.720 --> 00:32:58.539 which have 00:32:58.539 --> 00:33:00.160 do not pull 00:33:00.160 --> 00:33:01.279 while flying. 00:33:01.559 --> 00:33:02.259 Have you seen those? 00:33:03.279 --> 00:33:04.839 And there's this little kid 00:33:04.839 --> 00:33:06.220 who started walking up 00:33:06.220 --> 00:33:07.039 and started playing 00:33:07.039 --> 00:33:08.639 with the lever. 00:33:09.519 --> 00:33:10.160 Now I know 00:33:10.160 --> 00:33:10.759 there's probably 00:33:10.759 --> 00:33:12.339 some extra security measures 00:33:12.339 --> 00:33:13.899 but just think, 00:33:14.000 --> 00:33:14.960 if I at that point 00:33:14.960 --> 00:33:15.160 said, 00:33:15.240 --> 00:33:15.819 well it's okay, 00:33:16.359 --> 00:33:17.879 you just follow 00:33:17.879 --> 00:33:18.319 what your heart 00:33:18.319 --> 00:33:19.059 desires to do 00:33:19.059 --> 00:33:19.539 at the moment. 00:33:20.359 --> 00:33:20.559 Like, 00:33:20.759 --> 00:33:21.119 it's okay, 00:33:21.180 --> 00:33:21.960 I don't want to restrict 00:33:21.960 --> 00:33:22.920 you in any way. 00:33:25.180 --> 00:33:26.039 That's scary, 00:33:26.139 --> 00:33:26.379 right? 00:33:26.380 --> 00:33:28.640 I mean, 00:33:28.740 --> 00:33:29.460 he's not just 00:33:29.460 --> 00:33:30.180 going to take himself 00:33:30.180 --> 00:33:30.420 down, 00:33:30.480 --> 00:33:30.860 he's going to take 00:33:30.860 --> 00:33:31.760 the plane down. 00:33:33.900 --> 00:33:34.700 And actually, 00:33:34.960 --> 00:33:36.580 that's the same thing. 00:33:36.720 --> 00:33:38.040 Sin is never individual. 00:33:38.920 --> 00:33:40.060 It always has 00:33:40.060 --> 00:33:41.240 communal effects 00:33:41.240 --> 00:33:42.080 on other people. 00:33:43.880 --> 00:33:44.140 You know, 00:33:44.200 --> 00:33:45.020 I was in one church, 00:33:45.080 --> 00:33:45.640 one of the leaders 00:33:45.640 --> 00:33:46.360 had a fair. 00:33:46.940 --> 00:33:47.880 It devastated 00:33:47.880 --> 00:33:48.500 the community. 00:33:49.800 --> 00:33:50.400 Another time, 00:33:50.460 --> 00:33:51.220 I was talking to 00:33:51.220 --> 00:33:52.120 a non-believer 00:33:52.120 --> 00:33:52.820 and they said to me, 00:33:53.019 --> 00:33:54.240 the reason I don't 00:33:54.240 --> 00:33:55.279 believe in Christianity 00:33:55.279 --> 00:33:57.419 is I see no difference 00:33:57.419 --> 00:33:58.079 between the way 00:33:58.079 --> 00:33:59.319 you Christians do sex 00:33:59.319 --> 00:34:00.359 than anybody else does. 00:34:01.419 --> 00:34:01.779 He says, 00:34:01.899 --> 00:34:02.939 the only difference is 00:34:02.939 --> 00:34:03.980 you guys get more 00:34:03.980 --> 00:34:04.799 guilt put on you. 00:34:07.179 --> 00:34:07.759 You see, 00:34:07.839 --> 00:34:08.819 our sexuality 00:34:08.819 --> 00:34:10.219 impacts others 00:34:10.219 --> 00:34:10.880 and impacts 00:34:10.880 --> 00:34:11.900 the gospel, 00:34:12.699 --> 00:34:14.539 which is why 00:34:14.539 --> 00:34:15.860 we need to be real 00:34:15.860 --> 00:34:16.559 with each other, 00:34:16.819 --> 00:34:17.679 with the struggles 00:34:17.679 --> 00:34:18.500 we go through. 00:34:19.259 --> 00:34:20.119 It's why 00:34:20.119 --> 00:34:21.659 if you know 00:34:21.659 --> 00:34:22.179 your marriage 00:34:22.179 --> 00:34:23.239 is just functional 00:34:23.239 --> 00:34:25.159 with no passion, 00:34:25.239 --> 00:34:25.799 you need to start 00:34:25.799 --> 00:34:26.859 talking about that 00:34:26.859 --> 00:34:27.859 with other brothers 00:34:27.859 --> 00:34:29.099 and sisters here. 00:34:30.139 --> 00:34:30.719 It's why 00:34:30.719 --> 00:34:31.440 we need to start 00:34:31.440 --> 00:34:32.679 openly confessing 00:34:32.679 --> 00:34:33.419 and repenting 00:34:33.419 --> 00:34:34.059 where the areas 00:34:34.059 --> 00:34:35.000 we've not lived up 00:34:35.000 --> 00:34:35.859 to God's design 00:34:35.859 --> 00:34:36.940 and receive 00:34:36.940 --> 00:34:38.019 the grace 00:34:38.019 --> 00:34:38.819 from the community 00:34:38.819 --> 00:34:39.659 around us. 00:34:40.339 --> 00:34:40.899 It's why 00:34:40.899 --> 00:34:41.579 if you're married, 00:34:41.699 --> 00:34:42.419 you should be engaging 00:34:42.419 --> 00:34:42.980 with singles 00:34:42.980 --> 00:34:43.779 in your life 00:34:43.779 --> 00:34:44.919 to help them 00:34:44.919 --> 00:34:45.779 both experience 00:34:45.779 --> 00:34:47.000 their intimate family 00:34:47.000 --> 00:34:47.960 but also give 00:34:47.960 --> 00:34:49.379 realistic expectations 00:34:49.379 --> 00:34:50.419 that a marriage partner 00:34:50.419 --> 00:34:51.299 is not going to be 00:34:51.300 --> 00:34:52.360 the ultimate one. 00:34:55.240 --> 00:34:56.500 Your sexuality, 00:34:57.200 --> 00:34:58.300 you're already taken. 00:34:59.180 --> 00:35:00.220 You're God's. 00:35:00.780 --> 00:35:02.080 It's a community thing. 00:35:02.560 --> 00:35:03.280 Last thing, 00:35:03.900 --> 00:35:04.519 your happiness 00:35:04.519 --> 00:35:06.220 is in your holiness. 00:35:08.860 --> 00:35:10.160 He says this, 00:35:10.700 --> 00:35:11.320 verse 18, 00:35:11.480 --> 00:35:13.820 flee from sexual immorality. 00:35:14.700 --> 00:35:15.240 He says, 00:35:15.360 --> 00:35:15.920 every other sin 00:35:15.920 --> 00:35:16.500 a person commits 00:35:16.500 --> 00:35:17.480 is outside the body 00:35:17.480 --> 00:35:18.400 but the sexually immoral 00:35:18.400 --> 00:35:19.200 person sins 00:35:19.199 --> 00:35:20.119 against the body. 00:35:21.919 --> 00:35:22.679 He says, 00:35:23.000 --> 00:35:23.439 flee it. 00:35:24.659 --> 00:35:25.299 Don't just kind of 00:35:25.299 --> 00:35:26.039 dabble with it. 00:35:26.699 --> 00:35:27.019 Flee 00:35:27.019 --> 00:35:28.819 because you're sinning 00:35:28.819 --> 00:35:29.980 against your own body. 00:35:30.859 --> 00:35:31.279 He means 00:35:31.279 --> 00:35:32.079 because sex 00:35:32.079 --> 00:35:33.019 is a whole body, 00:35:33.259 --> 00:35:34.019 whole soul, 00:35:34.319 --> 00:35:35.259 whole mind thing 00:35:35.259 --> 00:35:36.619 unlike other sins, 00:35:36.980 --> 00:35:37.559 it's a sin 00:35:37.559 --> 00:35:38.119 which is going to 00:35:38.119 --> 00:35:39.259 defile and tear 00:35:39.259 --> 00:35:40.539 off a part of your soul. 00:35:40.759 --> 00:35:41.399 It's not going to 00:35:41.399 --> 00:35:42.079 give you life. 00:35:44.239 --> 00:35:44.439 You know, 00:35:44.480 --> 00:35:46.039 traditional Chinese society 00:35:46.039 --> 00:35:46.980 cared little 00:35:46.980 --> 00:35:47.900 for the afterlife 00:35:47.900 --> 00:35:48.679 but said sex 00:35:48.679 --> 00:35:49.280 is essential 00:35:49.280 --> 00:35:50.380 for you to have 00:35:50.380 --> 00:35:50.900 a family 00:35:50.900 --> 00:35:51.740 which is the essence 00:35:51.740 --> 00:35:52.800 of life and happiness. 00:35:54.000 --> 00:35:54.559 That's why 00:35:54.559 --> 00:35:55.219 if you're single 00:35:55.219 --> 00:35:56.320 and approaching 30 00:35:56.320 --> 00:35:57.139 or over 30 00:35:57.139 --> 00:35:57.980 all your relatives 00:35:57.980 --> 00:35:58.820 are coming up to you 00:35:58.820 --> 00:35:59.659 seeing whether you've 00:35:59.659 --> 00:36:00.219 found a partner 00:36:00.219 --> 00:36:00.900 or not yet 00:36:00.900 --> 00:36:02.240 because they're worried 00:36:02.240 --> 00:36:02.780 that you might 00:36:02.780 --> 00:36:03.820 list out on life 00:36:03.820 --> 00:36:05.199 if you don't have one. 00:36:06.460 --> 00:36:07.360 It's FOMO, 00:36:07.960 --> 00:36:08.280 right? 00:36:09.800 --> 00:36:10.740 Our culture says 00:36:10.740 --> 00:36:11.920 there's no afterlife 00:36:11.920 --> 00:36:13.179 but YOLO, 00:36:13.500 --> 00:36:15.460 get maximum happiness now. 00:36:15.460 --> 00:36:15.500 Now, 00:36:16.599 --> 00:36:16.920 you see, 00:36:17.059 --> 00:36:17.940 our society believes 00:36:17.940 --> 00:36:19.000 sex is essential 00:36:19.000 --> 00:36:19.880 for your happiness. 00:36:20.619 --> 00:36:21.659 I read a BBC article 00:36:21.659 --> 00:36:22.099 it said, 00:36:22.519 --> 00:36:23.260 it was entitled 00:36:23.260 --> 00:36:24.760 The Sadness of Living 00:36:24.760 --> 00:36:25.780 Without Sex. 00:36:28.260 --> 00:36:29.119 That's the idea. 00:36:29.260 --> 00:36:30.360 So to restrain yourself 00:36:30.360 --> 00:36:31.240 now is to just say 00:36:31.240 --> 00:36:32.559 kiss goodbye to happiness. 00:36:33.400 --> 00:36:34.519 That's what we believe 00:36:34.519 --> 00:36:35.440 in the culture. 00:36:36.340 --> 00:36:37.000 And the church 00:36:37.000 --> 00:36:37.679 has often said 00:36:37.679 --> 00:36:38.179 no, 00:36:38.340 --> 00:36:39.599 life is not about happiness 00:36:39.599 --> 00:36:40.420 it's about holiness 00:36:40.420 --> 00:36:41.240 so just cut off 00:36:41.240 --> 00:36:41.800 your desires 00:36:41.800 --> 00:36:42.720 and hold on 00:36:42.720 --> 00:36:43.740 until Jesus returns 00:36:43.740 --> 00:36:44.860 and then you'll get life. 00:36:45.460 --> 00:36:47.579 But the gospel says 00:36:47.579 --> 00:36:48.920 your happiness 00:36:48.920 --> 00:36:49.900 is found 00:36:49.900 --> 00:36:50.980 in your holiness. 00:36:51.900 --> 00:36:53.480 Because Jesus himself 00:36:53.480 --> 00:36:54.400 the epitome 00:36:54.400 --> 00:36:55.940 of the man 00:36:55.940 --> 00:36:56.539 Christians 00:36:56.539 --> 00:36:57.340 we believe 00:36:57.340 --> 00:36:57.980 lived the most 00:36:57.980 --> 00:36:59.079 fulfilling life 00:36:59.079 --> 00:37:00.880 how great 00:37:00.880 --> 00:37:01.960 was his sex life? 00:37:05.199 --> 00:37:06.720 He was single. 00:37:07.559 --> 00:37:08.840 He didn't date. 00:37:09.340 --> 00:37:10.800 He wasn't playing around. 00:37:11.800 --> 00:37:13.220 He never acted out 00:37:13.220 --> 00:37:14.580 on his sexual desires. 00:37:15.400 --> 00:37:16.620 Instead he gave himself 00:37:16.620 --> 00:37:17.940 out of love for us. 00:37:19.180 --> 00:37:19.920 Jesus said 00:37:19.920 --> 00:37:21.140 if anyone wants 00:37:21.140 --> 00:37:21.920 to follow me 00:37:21.920 --> 00:37:23.480 he must deny himself 00:37:23.480 --> 00:37:24.900 take up his cross 00:37:24.900 --> 00:37:26.039 and follow me. 00:37:26.620 --> 00:37:27.000 For whoever 00:37:27.000 --> 00:37:28.220 wants to follow me 00:37:28.220 --> 00:37:28.960 sorry 00:37:28.960 --> 00:37:30.160 whoever wants to find 00:37:30.160 --> 00:37:30.600 his life 00:37:30.600 --> 00:37:31.240 will lose it 00:37:31.240 --> 00:37:32.600 but whoever loses it 00:37:32.600 --> 00:37:33.440 for my sake 00:37:33.440 --> 00:37:34.340 will find it. 00:37:34.660 --> 00:37:35.140 That means 00:37:35.140 --> 00:37:36.360 even if 00:37:36.360 --> 00:37:37.860 you're following 00:37:37.860 --> 00:37:39.260 Jesus in his design 00:37:39.260 --> 00:37:40.860 and it will sometimes 00:37:40.860 --> 00:37:41.760 feel like dying. 00:37:42.700 --> 00:37:43.580 It will sometimes 00:37:43.580 --> 00:37:44.520 feel painful. 00:37:45.500 --> 00:37:46.780 But Jesus is saying 00:37:46.780 --> 00:37:49.060 if you choose me 00:37:49.060 --> 00:37:50.000 and to find 00:37:50.000 --> 00:37:50.660 your glory 00:37:50.660 --> 00:37:51.460 and your satisfaction 00:37:51.460 --> 00:37:52.400 in me 00:37:52.400 --> 00:37:54.280 whether in marriage 00:37:54.280 --> 00:37:55.180 or in singleness 00:37:55.180 --> 00:37:58.160 you will find life 00:37:58.160 --> 00:37:59.000 in finding 00:37:59.000 --> 00:37:59.880 the one 00:37:59.880 --> 00:38:00.780 that you were 00:38:00.780 --> 00:38:01.860 truly made for. 00:38:03.080 --> 00:38:04.640 Jesus Christ himself. 00:38:04.639 --> 00:38:08.139 So let's be a church 00:38:08.139 --> 00:38:09.539 which celebrates sex 00:38:09.539 --> 00:38:12.239 that delights 00:38:12.239 --> 00:38:13.219 in the good gift 00:38:13.219 --> 00:38:14.859 but let's be real 00:38:14.859 --> 00:38:15.879 about the brokenness 00:38:15.879 --> 00:38:16.319 of it 00:38:16.319 --> 00:38:17.559 and let's be 00:38:17.559 --> 00:38:18.799 walking with each other 00:38:18.799 --> 00:38:19.759 to point each other 00:38:19.759 --> 00:38:20.659 to the only one 00:38:20.659 --> 00:38:21.299 who will truly 00:38:21.299 --> 00:38:22.739 satisfy and fulfill us. 00:38:22.739 --> 00:38:23.739 cool comments. 00:38:36.839 --> 00:38:37.319 Thank you.