WEBVTT

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 I'm the pastor here, and it's my joy to bring God's word to you today.

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 As you can tell, I'm a little stuffed up, so bear with me.

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 It's going to slow me down a little bit, which is probably going to be good news for some

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 of you who are telling me I need to talk slower.

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 A special welcome if you're new or visiting with us today.

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 We're glad you're here, and we're glad you're here not because we're trying to fill seats,

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 but because we're following Jesus together as one community, and as we follow Jesus together,

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 we're convinced that there's no one so good that they don't need God's grace, and no one

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 so bad that they can't have it, which means that God has something to say to everyone in

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 his word.

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 We're going to jump right in like we did last week into 1 Peter chapter 3.

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 We've got three principles that we've been looking at in a variety of different situations.

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 Remember, Peter is writing to churches in the first century.

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 He's writing to them that live in Asia Minor, and these churches are in duress because they're

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 feeling out of place in the world as Christians, and they're facing opposition from the world

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 because of their faith in Jesus Christ.

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 And so we have these three principles that he's given us that I reviewed last week.

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 First of all, these believers in Jesus are priests, and that means that they represent God to the

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 world, that people learn about God's character through the way his people live their lives.

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 Second of all, the chapter 2, verse 12 principle, they should have honorable conduct.

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 And so the way that they live in the world should cause people to bring honor and glory

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 to God, and in fact, may bring some people to have faith in God.

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 And then finally, the principle in chapter 2, verse 17, of honoring everyone, that whatever

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 we do, we seek as we live to bring honor to someone, whether they agree with us or not.

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 And so we've been looking at those three principles applied to all sorts of different situations.

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 We looked at the principle that applies to living as a citizen of the government.

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 We looked at it as it applies to, in Peter's time, being a slave, or in our time, being

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 an employee.

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 And then last week, we started the discussion of how this applies to marriage.

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 And I'll just start by saying this is, of course, a timely and sensitive topic, and it's timely

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 and sensitive.

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 I know that for a fact because this sermon last week generated more conversation than I think

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 I've ever seen in this church about one sermon.

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 And I've received more calls and texts and emails about it than I have in the past.

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 And so it just highlights that this is something that's both real for us as we live in the

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 world, and it's also something that can be tender and sensitive.

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 And we're going to continue that conversation this morning, and we're going to turn from

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 wives to husbands.

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 And as we do that, I'll say, on the one hand, women, you're off the hook.

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 On the other hand, there's a sense in which you're not, because this is a tender and it's

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 a raw topic for many people.

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 There's a sense in which this might bring up memories for those of us who have had experiences

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 with men who were not honoring and did not live in an understanding way.

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 And so as those memories come up, I remind you, as I do from time to time, that God's

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 with us, most importantly, that he's for us.

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 And there's a certain vulnerability, right, that we're going to talk about that comes with

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 living in the world in ways that are different between being a man and a woman.

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 If you're a parent, you know that you worry probably less about who your sons will marry

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 than who your daughters will marry.

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 Most moms don't say to their sons, well, she's going to have to come home and meet me first

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 while I'm cleaning my guns.

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 That's not a thing, right?

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 Because there's less of a fear because there is a certain vulnerability that happens in marriage.

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 So on the one hand, women, you're off the hook.

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 On the other hand, you're not.

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 Now, there's also another way we can fall off the bus.

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 I talked last week about the fact that there are two errors.

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 One, to talk about the roles in marriage and turn it into something strange or abusive.

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 And the other way to fall off is to make it mean nothing.

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 And there are some other ways that we can fall off when we talk about husbands.

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 It's no one will ever criticize a pastor for coming in strong on men, right?

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 But if you say the wrong thing about women, you know, people will come and they'll let you know.

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 And so there's a tendency in the evangelical church when you come to passages like this

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 in the American church to just shame men.

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 And so we can fall off on that side as well.

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 And that's not the goal of Peter.

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 And it's certainly not my goal this morning.

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 And so I say all that just to name that we're continuing to have a hard conversation as a family, as a church, together.

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 And also a hard conversation in this portion of the scripture.

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 And so we need God's grace.

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 And that's what we ask for when we pray to him every Sunday when we come to his word.

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 And so with that introduction, we are in 1 Peter.

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 And we are looking at one verse.

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 We're in chapter 3, verse 7.

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 And as we come to this, remember that this is God's word.

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 And God tells us that his word is more precious than gold, even the finest gold.

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 And it is sweeter than honey, even honey that comes straight from the honeycomb.

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 And so it's for that reason that we read now verse 7.

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 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way,

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 showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel,

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 since they are heirs with you of the grace of life,

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 so that your prayers may not be hindered.

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 I invite you to pray with me as we come to this portion of God's word.

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 Dear Father in heaven, we thank you that you don't shy away from hard topics.

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 We thank you that you don't just tell us things we want to hear,

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 but you also tell us things that we don't want to hear.

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 And we confess that we, in a sense, are all weak vessels,

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 and we need your help this morning as we come to your word.

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 And so we ask that you would give it to us, that you'd give us your grace,

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 that you'd give us your wisdom,

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 and you'd give us your spirit,

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 that we would be able to hear and understand

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 and believe everything that you have for us in your word.

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 We ask these things, and we have confidence that you'll give them to us,

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 not because of what we have done,

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 but because of what Jesus has done for us.

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 And so we ask this in his name.

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 Amen.

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 Now, this debate was raging more a few years ago than it is now.

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 It's more of a settled issue in our country,

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 but there was a time when I followed the gay marriage debate very closely,

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 partially out of just personal intellectual curiosity,

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 partially because of my love for the church

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 and my knowledge that it would affect things for us as a church

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 as we move forward in this society.

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 And so I'd follow some of the arguments that were made on both sides

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 as people would discuss this topic.

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 And one of the statistics that would get thrown around is this.

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 Heterosexual couples have so much to learn from homosexual couples,

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 and they have so much to learn because statistics show

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 that gay and lesbian couples have way less conflict in their marriages

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 than heterosexual couples.

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 And so there's something that these gay couples have figured out

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 that heterosexual couples have not figured out.

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 And in fact, maybe there's something that heterosexual couples could learn from them.

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 What do we say to that as people who are faithful and following the Bible

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 and what it teaches about human sexuality?

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 What's our response?

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 It's the scholars.

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 The scholarly response would be, duh.

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 Of course, of course, two men are going to get along much better than a man and a woman.

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 And of course, two women are going to get along much better than a man and a woman.

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 Tell me something else that I wouldn't have known without research.

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 Right?

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 You can't compare the two.

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 They're not the same thing.

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 Part of what is both glorious and difficult about marriage

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 is that it's the institution in society that forces a man and a woman

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 to figure out how to get along together.

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 And big surprise, we wouldn't have known this without statistics and research,

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 it actually can be very challenging for men and women to get along together.

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 And so there's one principle here.

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 I'm going to lay out several principles for you as we're coming to this,

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 and that's the first one.

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 Part of what is wonderful and beautiful about marriage,

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 one of the things that makes marriage such a great gift from God

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 is it's the one place where you can't get away

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 without resolving the differences between the genders, right?

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 That's just a basic principle up front.

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 We have to have that principle to look at this passage.

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 I'm going to say something really scandalous.

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 Men and women are very different.

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 Don't quote me on that, okay?

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 And it's not just that there's just generic differences

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 between specific men and specific women,

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 but there's broad differences, right?

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 There's things that are generally true of women

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 and things that are generally true of men.

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 I mentioned last week the research of John and Julie Gottman,

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 who are a couple who have done a lot of other research

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 based on how marriages can be healthy and people can get along,

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 and these are not Christian believers in any way,

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 as far as I'm aware.

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 If you go to their website, you look on their Instagram feed,

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 you'll find out very quickly they don't share our convictions

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 about marriage, about human sexuality,

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 and yet they look into this.

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 They've tried to figure out how can we help men and women get along.

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 So principle number one, men and women are different.

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 Principle two, there's specific ways in which they're different.

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 So John and Julie tell this story about a couple named Lynn and Mike,

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 and Lynn and Mike had been struggling in their marriage for about 20 years.

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 They couldn't figure out how to resolve their differences.

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 They'd gotten to a point where they felt like they couldn't understand each other,

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 and so kind of as a final ditch effort,

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 Lynn convinced Mike to go to this workshop

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 about helping men and women understand each other.

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 And so this workshop started out.

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 It was run by a woman, and she starts by asking a question.

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 She said, I'm just going to ask the men this question,

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 so I only want to hear the responses from the men.

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 And raise your hand if you don't have to do this.

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 This is just the story, right?

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 Raise your hand if you've ever feared for your life or your physical well-being.

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 Raise your hand if you've ever feared for your life or your physical well-being.

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 There's an awkward pause, right?

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 And a few men raise their hands.

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 One of them's a vet.

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 He says, you know, I was in Vietnam one time,

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 and when I was in Vietnam, there was this one moment when I feared for my life.

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 Another man shares a story from several decades ago when he was in a fistfight,

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 and he thought, maybe this could be the end of my life.

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 None of the men could name a single incident that was within the last 10 years.

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 So it was over 10, 20, 30 years ago that they had feared for their life.

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 The woman running the workshop then said, okay, women,

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 how many of you have ever feared for your life?

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 Every single hand went in the air.

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 And then she got even more specific.

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 How many of you have feared for your life in the last six months?

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 Every hand stayed up in the air.

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 How many of you have feared for your life in the last month?

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 Every hand stayed up in the air.

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 How many of you have feared for your life in the last week?

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 Every hand still remained in the air.

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 How many of you have feared for your life when you came in from the parking garage

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 to come to this workshop?

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 Every hand stayed in the air.

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 Mike realized something for the first time.

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 He had no idea what it was like for his wife to walk through the world as a woman.

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 And the reverse was also true.

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 At this point, Lynn had never thought about the fact that her husband never feared for his life.

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 And this was kind of a watershed moment in their marriage,

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 the way that John and Julie tell this story.

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 And they tell this to illustrate some of the differences between men and women in marriage

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 and how they understand each other.

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 They say this,

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 Mike was stunned.

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 He had no idea Lynn experienced fear.

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 He wasn't afraid, so he assumed she wasn't afraid.

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 That one example explains Mike changed everything between us.

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 I realized I had been assuming she viewed the world through the same lens I viewed the world through.

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 And it was eye-opening.

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 Lynn was just as astounded that Mike had not felt fear for his physical well-being in 30 years.

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 They go on to tell another story about some research done at that great Christian conservative bastion,

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 the University of California, Berkeley,

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 where they had done some research on responses to gunshots.

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 And so they'd put these test cases, and they'd have an unexpected gun go off behind them.

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 And men and women had kind of a similar response in terms of the way they immediately responded to it,

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 but they had a different emotional response.

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 Men, by and large, were very, very angry,

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 and some of them desired to have revenge on the person running the experiment.

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 Women, on the other hand, by and large, were very, very afraid.

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 So one instance, two different responses, right?

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 I highlight all of this because this is what we're looking at here in verse 7.

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 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way.

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 And now they break it up here in this translation,

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 but actually the understanding way in the Greek comes right before the phrase weaker vessel.

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 There's a sense.

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 Principle one, right?

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 Men and women are different.

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 Principle two, there are specific differences.

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 There's a sense in which men are like Mike, right?

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 Mike had never thought about the fact that his wife viewed the world in a different way than he did.

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 And so Peter is simply saying this.

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 As a husband, come to know, work to know and understand what it is like for your wife to live in the world as a woman

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 and understand how living in the world as a woman is very different than living in the world as a man.

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 And so there's certainly a physical component to this, right?

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 The weaker vessel here, vessels the way.

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 It's talking about the body.

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 So there's a physical component to that.

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 That's what I've highlighted with this story with Mike and Lynn.

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 The knowledge here, that's what's meant by understanding.

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 Live in a way, and this live word, by the way, is the word that's used of people who share a home together.

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 So share a home together in a way that includes your knowledge.

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 And it's your knowledge, specifically, of your wife.

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 And it's your knowledge of your wife in the sense of what it means for her to be a woman in a way that's different than you're a man.

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 So seek knowledge.

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 Grow in your knowledge.

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 Mike grew in his knowledge of Lynn, right?

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 He grew in his understanding of what it was like for her to experience the world as a woman.

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 Now, there's certainly a physical component to this.

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 There's certainly a social component to it as well.

00:15:10.919 --> 00:15:14.980
 The point of this sermon, by the way, is not to say that men are strong and women are weak.

00:15:16.360 --> 00:15:20.120
 Certainly, both men and women are strong and weak in different ways.

00:15:21.060 --> 00:15:28.460
 The point is for men who have strength in a certain way to begin to understand how that's different from the way their wives experience the world.

00:15:28.460 --> 00:15:32.660
 So as I said, there's a physical component, but there's also a social component.

00:15:32.860 --> 00:15:39.480
 We've just, last week, read a passage about wives submitting to their husbands or being subject, as the ESV translates it.

00:15:40.320 --> 00:15:42.639
 And so there's not just a physical differential.

00:15:42.820 --> 00:15:44.160
 There's also a power differential.

00:15:45.139 --> 00:15:49.320
 I had someone reach out to me this week in response to last week's sermon.

00:15:49.320 --> 00:15:54.379
 And I received permission to share this, so I don't just share things people send to me right from the pulpit.

00:15:54.420 --> 00:15:55.440
 But I asked, can I share this?

00:15:55.460 --> 00:15:56.260
 I think it would be really helpful.

00:15:57.000 --> 00:16:02.240
 Asking about, last week, the part about Sarah not fearing anything frightening.

00:16:02.879 --> 00:16:04.620
 And this is a single woman who reached out to me.

00:16:04.680 --> 00:16:07.280
 She said, that actually sounds quite terrifying.

00:16:07.279 --> 00:16:21.199
 Trusting someone, that is some other human, to take care of you, that is the wife, and having to trust his judgment and follow his lead, that, all caps, sounds terrifying.

00:16:22.519 --> 00:16:29.339
 Men don't really have to think about that kind of stuff, so may not realize how terrifying it could be.

00:16:31.279 --> 00:16:33.100
 And I thought, yeah, we don't.

00:16:34.319 --> 00:16:37.220
 Men don't naturally think about how terrifying that is.

00:16:38.220 --> 00:16:40.959
 And so that's part of the reason that this passage is so important.

00:16:41.899 --> 00:16:42.139
 Right?

00:16:42.159 --> 00:16:46.620
 If you're married, you have a husband, there's many decisions that he makes that affect you, that you're vulnerable to.

00:16:47.240 --> 00:16:48.519
 There's financial decisions.

00:16:48.659 --> 00:16:49.639
 There's parenting decisions.

00:16:49.639 --> 00:16:53.839
 There's things that affect you that can have a terrifying impact.

00:16:55.480 --> 00:16:58.259
 So I say all that to say, again, two principles.

00:16:58.419 --> 00:16:59.379
 One, men and women are different.

00:16:59.500 --> 00:17:00.919
 Two, they're different in specific ways.

00:17:01.419 --> 00:17:05.319
 And three, that means the responsibility, as Peter puts it here, is on men.

00:17:05.319 --> 00:17:11.059
 And the responsibility is on husbands to proactively seek knowledge about their wives.

00:17:12.879 --> 00:17:17.839
 To seek knowledge about what it's like to live as a woman in the world and what makes that different from living as a man.

00:17:17.839 --> 00:17:23.299
 And I'll say this, for their application, you can't have knowledge if you're not a student.

00:17:24.980 --> 00:17:26.579
 That's the only way you get knowledge.

00:17:27.779 --> 00:17:32.740
 I quoted a man several weeks ago who said Christianity's not revolutionary, but it's radical.

00:17:32.740 --> 00:17:35.579
 The same individual says this about this passage.

00:17:35.700 --> 00:17:39.500
 Husbands are scientists with a narrow field of inquiry.

00:17:41.019 --> 00:17:44.420
 Husbands are scientists with a narrow field of inquiry.

00:17:46.099 --> 00:17:51.259
 Live in an understanding way with knowledge is what that means.

00:17:51.920 --> 00:17:57.440
 Live in a way that demonstrates your knowledge of what it's like to walk through this world as a woman.

00:17:57.440 --> 00:18:02.220
 And you're going to get that knowledge by being a student.

00:18:04.120 --> 00:18:06.539
 Working on understanding, by the way, is not natural.

00:18:06.660 --> 00:18:08.500
 This is probably part of why Peter's bringing it up.

00:18:08.539 --> 00:18:10.140
 It's not natural for people in power.

00:18:10.980 --> 00:18:17.660
 So if you have authority in some way, whether you're a boss, maybe it's your pastor, maybe it's your husband and a father,

00:18:18.059 --> 00:18:23.100
 you don't naturally think, what is it like to be someone who has to follow my leadership?

00:18:23.099 --> 00:18:26.199
 That takes an extremely high level of self-awareness.

00:18:26.899 --> 00:18:32.259
 And it's easy to be unaware of the privileges that your power gives to you, the ways that it benefits you,

00:18:32.359 --> 00:18:35.699
 and you may never realize it unless you ask someone who actually has to follow you.

00:18:36.779 --> 00:18:39.819
 And so part of this is just a general principle for people who have power,

00:18:40.240 --> 00:18:42.539
 that there's a certain privilege that comes with it.

00:18:43.179 --> 00:18:48.199
 And you want to use that privilege in a way that actually lifts people up and honors them and helps them.

00:18:48.200 --> 00:18:53.559
 And so it's actually, there's a sense in which it's the responsibility of the person who's in power

00:18:53.559 --> 00:18:56.340
 to find out the needs of the person with less power.

00:18:56.680 --> 00:18:59.500
 That's not just a principle in marriage, that's a principle across the board.

00:18:59.559 --> 00:19:03.580
 If you want to be a good boss, your job is to go to your employees and ask them,

00:19:03.700 --> 00:19:06.220
 okay, I have the power in this situation, you have less power,

00:19:06.539 --> 00:19:11.160
 so it's my job actually to initiate the conversation about what I can do to make things better for you.

00:19:13.160 --> 00:19:16.259
 That's just the way power and authority work.

00:19:16.259 --> 00:19:18.539
 That's the way good power and good authority works.

00:19:19.519 --> 00:19:22.099
 And so Peter's saying, okay, wives are subject to their husbands,

00:19:22.480 --> 00:19:24.740
 husbands have more authority and power in this situation,

00:19:24.920 --> 00:19:28.480
 therefore it's their responsibility to go and gather the information.

00:19:29.879 --> 00:19:32.500
 It's your job to go to your wife and say,

00:19:33.539 --> 00:19:37.619
 help me understand more about what it looks like to be a woman in this world.

00:19:39.500 --> 00:19:45.180
 Or even more scary, help me understand what it's like to be married to me.

00:19:46.259 --> 00:19:50.019
 What are the ways that I interact with you that are really helpful?

00:19:51.160 --> 00:19:53.579
 What are some ways that I interact with you that are not so helpful?

00:19:55.180 --> 00:19:57.599
 Having knowledge means that you're a student.

00:19:57.759 --> 00:19:59.160
 You know what makes your wife sad.

00:19:59.900 --> 00:20:01.039
 You know what makes her rejoice.

00:20:01.980 --> 00:20:03.160
 You know what makes her happy.

00:20:04.019 --> 00:20:05.420
 That is knowledge that you have.

00:20:05.480 --> 00:20:07.200
 By the way, this is knowledge you use, right?

00:20:07.220 --> 00:20:08.400
 It's actionable knowledge.

00:20:08.400 --> 00:20:12.620
 There are some men, husbands, who find out things about their wives,

00:20:12.660 --> 00:20:16.740
 and they might think, well, that's extremely interesting but irrelevant.

00:20:18.600 --> 00:20:22.500
 Peter's saying it's extremely interesting and also actionable.

00:20:23.980 --> 00:20:26.560
 This is knowledge that affects the way that you live.

00:20:28.080 --> 00:20:31.440
 And so, again, it's hard to have knowledge if you're not a student.

00:20:32.440 --> 00:20:35.660
 It's hard to be an understanding husband if you're not a curious husband.

00:20:37.420 --> 00:20:39.120
 And so, if you want to, I'll say that again,

00:20:39.160 --> 00:20:41.759
 it's hard to be an understanding husband if you're not a curious husband.

00:20:42.640 --> 00:20:44.220
 So, if you want to jump in the deep end,

00:20:45.180 --> 00:20:47.920
 you could ask your wife, okay, and don't ask general, right?

00:20:47.940 --> 00:20:48.460
 That's not helpful.

00:20:48.600 --> 00:20:49.299
 Okay, what's it like?

00:20:49.380 --> 00:20:50.500
 Well, it doesn't give us a scale.

00:20:50.799 --> 00:20:53.860
 On a one to ten scale, where are we at?

00:20:53.859 --> 00:20:58.599
 By the way, counselors will tell you that men and women

00:20:58.599 --> 00:21:00.759
 always rate their marriages differently, almost.

00:21:00.919 --> 00:21:04.799
 So, generally, women will rate a marriage lower than the husband will.

00:21:05.579 --> 00:21:07.479
 So, if you ask a man and a wife, okay,

00:21:07.519 --> 00:21:09.279
 rate your marriage on a scale of zero to ten,

00:21:09.859 --> 00:21:11.159
 the man says it's an eight,

00:21:11.699 --> 00:21:13.419
 the wife is probably going to say it's a six.

00:21:14.359 --> 00:21:17.539
 The man says it's a six, the wife might say it's a three.

00:21:18.139 --> 00:21:20.419
 The man says it's a nine, the wife might say it's a five.

00:21:21.159 --> 00:21:23.619
 I had a friend one time, I was on the phone with him,

00:21:23.619 --> 00:21:27.179
 and he told me, you know, I went, and I checked in with my wife,

00:21:27.219 --> 00:21:28.859
 and I was going to ask her, I asked her,

00:21:28.919 --> 00:21:30.179
 how are things going with us?

00:21:30.239 --> 00:21:33.799
 And I was preparing, because I knew in my back of my head,

00:21:33.859 --> 00:21:35.299
 like, I'm asking this question, and I need to,

00:21:35.359 --> 00:21:36.599
 but things aren't going well, and, like,

00:21:36.599 --> 00:21:37.719
 it's going to be a hard conversation.

00:21:38.879 --> 00:21:40.519
 Well, he asked her, and she said,

00:21:40.779 --> 00:21:42.699
 we are thriving right now.

00:21:43.939 --> 00:21:46.279
 I said, man, you go, because if she says that,

00:21:46.319 --> 00:21:47.339
 then you can trust it, right?

00:21:48.919 --> 00:21:51.659
 Like, if you think it's thriving, I don't really know.

00:21:51.660 --> 00:21:53.759
 If you called me and told me it was going great,

00:21:53.920 --> 00:21:55.800
 it could or could not be going well, right?

00:21:56.460 --> 00:21:58.820
 So I said, man, wonderful, praise God,

00:21:58.920 --> 00:22:00.279
 like, your marriage must be doing well,

00:22:00.320 --> 00:22:01.600
 since your wife says it's going well.

00:22:03.779 --> 00:22:05.480
 All to say, hard to be understanding

00:22:05.480 --> 00:22:07.519
 if you're not a curious husband.

00:22:09.880 --> 00:22:11.420
 Second of all, I want to,

00:22:11.920 --> 00:22:14.360
 we talked last week about ways we can fall off

00:22:14.360 --> 00:22:15.620
 on either side.

00:22:15.619 --> 00:22:18.159
 One way we could fall off last week that we discussed

00:22:18.159 --> 00:22:22.699
 is the idea of, okay, being subject to your husband

00:22:22.699 --> 00:22:24.479
 doesn't mean you can't say no.

00:22:26.679 --> 00:22:29.439
 There were times that Sarah told Abraham no.

00:22:30.359 --> 00:22:32.819
 There were also times that Abraham needed

00:22:32.819 --> 00:22:35.000
 to tell Sarah no, and he didn't.

00:22:36.339 --> 00:22:38.979
 One way to abuse this passage is to say,

00:22:39.199 --> 00:22:40.359
 therefore, as a husband,

00:22:40.699 --> 00:22:42.599
 it means you have to always say yes.

00:22:42.599 --> 00:22:49.299
 Wives can say no, and husbands can say no.

00:22:49.439 --> 00:22:50.579
 Being an understanding husband

00:22:50.579 --> 00:22:53.639
 doesn't mean that you're a doormat.

00:22:54.619 --> 00:22:56.079
 Being a wife who's submissive

00:22:56.079 --> 00:22:57.240
 doesn't mean that you're a doormat.

00:22:58.159 --> 00:23:01.240
 I was listening to a podcast recently.

00:23:01.500 --> 00:23:02.759
 You guys know I've mentioned in the past,

00:23:02.799 --> 00:23:03.759
 I'm a big podcast guy,

00:23:03.799 --> 00:23:05.480
 and this was an interview

00:23:05.480 --> 00:23:07.419
 with a woman named Christy Wright,

00:23:07.639 --> 00:23:10.339
 and this is a strong, accomplished woman.

00:23:10.339 --> 00:23:13.720
 So she's an entrepreneur, and she trains other women

00:23:13.720 --> 00:23:14.939
 how to be good entrepreneurs.

00:23:15.639 --> 00:23:17.199
 And she's talking in this podcast

00:23:17.199 --> 00:23:19.559
 all about her business tips and tricks

00:23:19.559 --> 00:23:21.519
 and the effective way to run a business

00:23:21.519 --> 00:23:22.559
 and the non-effective way,

00:23:22.599 --> 00:23:24.079
 and she gets to a point where she's talking about

00:23:24.079 --> 00:23:25.059
 how, as a business owner,

00:23:25.159 --> 00:23:26.399
 sometimes you have to tell people no.

00:23:27.399 --> 00:23:29.159
 And in the middle of this podcast,

00:23:29.159 --> 00:23:31.579
 she goes off, she just stops,

00:23:31.679 --> 00:23:33.519
 and starts raving about her husband

00:23:33.519 --> 00:23:37.559
 and how good he is at saying no to her.

00:23:37.559 --> 00:23:41.259
 And then she gives this example.

00:23:41.379 --> 00:23:43.119
 She talks about how she's very creative.

00:23:43.220 --> 00:23:43.919
 She's this entrepreneur,

00:23:44.179 --> 00:23:45.359
 so she's constantly coming up

00:23:45.359 --> 00:23:46.659
 with home remodeling projects.

00:23:48.319 --> 00:23:50.500
 And of course, her husband can't say yes

00:23:50.500 --> 00:23:52.200
 to all the home remodeling projects, right?

00:23:53.500 --> 00:23:55.480
 But her husband has found a way

00:23:55.480 --> 00:23:57.579
 to say it in an understanding way.

00:23:58.339 --> 00:23:59.819
 So he'll say, man, I just,

00:24:00.039 --> 00:24:02.139
 I love the fact that you are so creative,

00:24:02.279 --> 00:24:03.480
 and that just blows me away.

00:24:03.859 --> 00:24:05.639
 I'm not sure we have the bandwidth right now

00:24:05.640 --> 00:24:07.200
 for another project,

00:24:07.700 --> 00:24:09.320
 but like, I just, man,

00:24:09.360 --> 00:24:10.640
 you have so many great ideas,

00:24:10.759 --> 00:24:12.320
 and I just, I'm just in awe of that.

00:24:13.420 --> 00:24:14.540
 The answer's no, right?

00:24:16.380 --> 00:24:17.680
 We don't have the bandwidth right now

00:24:17.680 --> 00:24:19.120
 to remodel the kitchen a second time.

00:24:20.040 --> 00:24:22.340
 And yet, he does it in an understanding way.

00:24:23.900 --> 00:24:25.300
 Say no in such a way

00:24:25.300 --> 00:24:27.000
 that your wife raves about you

00:24:27.000 --> 00:24:28.460
 the next time she's interviewed on a podcast.

00:24:31.840 --> 00:24:33.300
 Okay, there's another way

00:24:33.299 --> 00:24:34.619
 we can fall off the bus on this.

00:24:34.680 --> 00:24:36.779
 So there's a big conversation right now

00:24:36.779 --> 00:24:37.980
 about men in the church

00:24:37.980 --> 00:24:39.139
 and the question about why

00:24:39.139 --> 00:24:41.599
 there aren't more men in the church

00:24:41.599 --> 00:24:44.700
 and why there aren't more masculine men

00:24:44.700 --> 00:24:45.259
 in the church.

00:24:45.879 --> 00:24:47.680
 By the way, we have many masculine men

00:24:47.680 --> 00:24:48.220
 in this church.

00:24:49.480 --> 00:24:50.159
 Praise God.

00:24:52.299 --> 00:24:54.460
 It is not saying that you have to be

00:24:54.460 --> 00:24:55.680
 a weak man, right?

00:24:55.720 --> 00:24:56.639
 The last thing we need

00:24:56.639 --> 00:24:58.200
 is more weak or soft men.

00:24:59.259 --> 00:25:00.659
 We need, in our society

00:25:00.660 --> 00:25:01.519
 and in the church,

00:25:01.620 --> 00:25:02.960
 we need strong men.

00:25:04.720 --> 00:25:06.240
 We want strong men

00:25:06.240 --> 00:25:08.300
 who are gentle

00:25:08.300 --> 00:25:09.360
 and kind

00:25:09.360 --> 00:25:09.940
 and tender.

00:25:11.860 --> 00:25:12.920
 We don't want weak

00:25:12.920 --> 00:25:13.620
 or soft men.

00:25:13.680 --> 00:25:14.680
 We want strong men.

00:25:15.200 --> 00:25:16.380
 We want strong men

00:25:16.380 --> 00:25:17.420
 who are gentle

00:25:17.420 --> 00:25:17.980
 and kind

00:25:17.980 --> 00:25:18.420
 and tender.

00:25:20.040 --> 00:25:20.960
 And, you know,

00:25:21.060 --> 00:25:21.519
 kill bears

00:25:21.519 --> 00:25:22.380
 when they need to kill bears.

00:25:24.779 --> 00:25:26.259
 You don't want weak men

00:25:26.259 --> 00:25:27.259
 leading a church, right?

00:25:27.279 --> 00:25:28.240
 If there's something

00:25:28.240 --> 00:25:29.180
 that needs to be dealt with,

00:25:29.180 --> 00:25:29.680
 you want men

00:25:29.680 --> 00:25:30.340
 who are going to get in

00:25:30.340 --> 00:25:30.840
 and deal with it.

00:25:30.860 --> 00:25:32.039
 You don't want a weak man

00:25:32.039 --> 00:25:32.860
 leading your family.

00:25:33.660 --> 00:25:34.299
 There's an issue

00:25:34.299 --> 00:25:35.279
 that needs to be dealt with.

00:25:35.460 --> 00:25:36.120
 You want a man

00:25:36.120 --> 00:25:36.980
 who's going to deal with it.

00:25:38.779 --> 00:25:39.340
 And so,

00:25:39.440 --> 00:25:40.019
 there's a temptation

00:25:40.019 --> 00:25:40.580
 on the one hand

00:25:40.580 --> 00:25:40.840
 to say,

00:25:40.940 --> 00:25:41.160
 okay,

00:25:41.880 --> 00:25:42.960
 last week's sermon,

00:25:43.060 --> 00:25:44.259
 maybe that was a little patriarchal.

00:25:45.140 --> 00:25:45.960
 This week's sermon,

00:25:46.080 --> 00:25:47.039
 maybe it's a little feminist.

00:25:48.299 --> 00:25:49.440
 The Bible doesn't always

00:25:49.440 --> 00:25:50.840
 fit into our neat categories.

00:25:53.220 --> 00:25:54.140
 It doesn't always

00:25:54.140 --> 00:25:56.259
 fall into the lines

00:25:56.259 --> 00:25:56.860
 that our culture

00:25:56.860 --> 00:25:57.840
 wants us to fall into.

00:25:59.180 --> 00:26:00.220
 So, the Bible teaches both

00:26:00.220 --> 00:26:00.680
 in a sense.

00:26:00.759 --> 00:26:00.820
 I mean,

00:26:00.840 --> 00:26:01.600
 what are you going to do, right?

00:26:01.700 --> 00:26:02.860
 Cut 1 Peter 3, 7

00:26:02.860 --> 00:26:03.360
 out of the Bible.

00:26:04.920 --> 00:26:05.860
 I did have a few men

00:26:05.860 --> 00:26:06.440
 suggest to me

00:26:06.440 --> 00:26:07.799
 that it would be okay

00:26:07.799 --> 00:26:09.000
 if we skipped this passage.

00:26:11.299 --> 00:26:12.200
 Okay, moving on.

00:26:13.720 --> 00:26:14.500
 So, we've got

00:26:14.500 --> 00:26:15.480
 kind of three things

00:26:15.480 --> 00:26:16.100
 going on here.

00:26:16.180 --> 00:26:16.440
 One,

00:26:16.640 --> 00:26:17.240
 live with your wives

00:26:17.240 --> 00:26:18.160
 in an understanding way.

00:26:18.700 --> 00:26:19.180
 Point one.

00:26:20.120 --> 00:26:20.740
 Point two,

00:26:21.600 --> 00:26:22.340
 showing honor.

00:26:22.720 --> 00:26:22.980
 By the way,

00:26:23.019 --> 00:26:23.720
 the showing honor

00:26:23.720 --> 00:26:25.039
 comes after the weaker vessel

00:26:25.039 --> 00:26:25.820
 than the Greek.

00:26:25.900 --> 00:26:26.380
 So, I put that

00:26:26.380 --> 00:26:27.299
 under the understanding way.

00:26:27.299 --> 00:26:27.819
 Then we've got

00:26:27.819 --> 00:26:28.859
 showing honor

00:26:28.859 --> 00:26:29.779
 as heirs with you

00:26:29.779 --> 00:26:30.659
 of the grace of life.

00:26:33.779 --> 00:26:34.559
 These folks

00:26:34.559 --> 00:26:35.659
 receiving this letter

00:26:35.659 --> 00:26:37.480
 are living in a culture

00:26:37.480 --> 00:26:38.500
 and an economy

00:26:38.500 --> 00:26:40.159
 where women and men

00:26:40.159 --> 00:26:40.819
 are not equal.

00:26:43.039 --> 00:26:44.039
 And they're living

00:26:44.039 --> 00:26:44.680
 in a culture

00:26:44.680 --> 00:26:45.720
 and an economy

00:26:45.720 --> 00:26:47.220
 where the woman

00:26:47.220 --> 00:26:47.799
 is supposed

00:26:47.799 --> 00:26:48.899
 to honor her husband.

00:26:51.440 --> 00:26:52.759
 Peter reverses that

00:26:52.759 --> 00:26:55.480
 or at least subverts it.

00:26:56.379 --> 00:26:57.259
 No, actually,

00:26:57.660 --> 00:26:58.039
 remember,

00:26:58.279 --> 00:26:59.920
 you're a holy nation,

00:27:00.279 --> 00:27:00.680
 2-9.

00:27:01.119 --> 00:27:01.960
 That might be

00:27:01.960 --> 00:27:02.779
 how things work

00:27:02.779 --> 00:27:03.660
 in the Roman world.

00:27:03.940 --> 00:27:04.920
 That's not how things

00:27:04.920 --> 00:27:06.819
 work in God's nation.

00:27:07.680 --> 00:27:09.000
 In God's nation,

00:27:09.400 --> 00:27:10.039
 men and women

00:27:10.039 --> 00:27:11.140
 are actually equal.

00:27:13.019 --> 00:27:14.500
 And in God's nation,

00:27:15.339 --> 00:27:17.079
 disregard the customs

00:27:17.079 --> 00:27:18.640
 of the Roman Empire.

00:27:18.640 --> 00:27:20.460
 in God's nation,

00:27:20.560 --> 00:27:21.620
 it's actually your job

00:27:21.620 --> 00:27:22.220
 as a husband

00:27:22.220 --> 00:27:22.940
 to show honor

00:27:22.940 --> 00:27:23.580
 to your wife.

00:27:26.220 --> 00:27:26.880
 And so,

00:27:26.960 --> 00:27:27.880
 it's subversive

00:27:27.880 --> 00:27:28.920
 here in 1 Peter

00:27:28.920 --> 00:27:29.920
 in multiple ways.

00:27:32.000 --> 00:27:32.980
 Women are actually

00:27:32.980 --> 00:27:33.740
 equal to you.

00:27:34.560 --> 00:27:35.300
 Don't treat them

00:27:35.300 --> 00:27:36.100
 as if they're not,

00:27:36.980 --> 00:27:38.040
 even though that's

00:27:38.040 --> 00:27:38.500
 what's common

00:27:38.500 --> 00:27:39.080
 in the society

00:27:39.080 --> 00:27:40.280
 around you, right?

00:27:41.680 --> 00:27:42.520
 Women are taught

00:27:42.520 --> 00:27:43.000
 to show honor

00:27:43.000 --> 00:27:43.600
 to their husbands.

00:27:43.759 --> 00:27:44.140
 Guess what?

00:27:44.180 --> 00:27:44.840
 In your household,

00:27:44.920 --> 00:27:45.220
 since you're

00:27:45.220 --> 00:27:45.900
 a Christian man,

00:27:46.380 --> 00:27:48.180
 that's not your concern.

00:27:48.180 --> 00:27:48.680
 Your concern

00:27:48.680 --> 00:27:49.539
 is actually the opposite,

00:27:49.820 --> 00:27:50.400
 that you're showing

00:27:50.400 --> 00:27:51.740
 honor to your wife.

00:27:55.140 --> 00:27:56.120
 Again, as I said,

00:27:56.680 --> 00:27:57.900
 patriarchal and feminist

00:27:57.900 --> 00:27:58.820
 at the same time.

00:28:00.340 --> 00:28:01.759
 The Bible's not gonna meet

00:28:01.759 --> 00:28:03.720
 our expectations

00:28:03.720 --> 00:28:04.480
 in every way.

00:28:07.000 --> 00:28:07.860
 By the way,

00:28:08.259 --> 00:28:09.220
 you're showing honor

00:28:09.220 --> 00:28:10.080
 to your wife

00:28:10.080 --> 00:28:12.980
 even as you may feel

00:28:12.980 --> 00:28:13.920
 dishonored

00:28:13.920 --> 00:28:15.140
 by the fact

00:28:15.140 --> 00:28:16.039
 that she is not

00:28:16.039 --> 00:28:16.600
 a Christian.

00:28:18.180 --> 00:28:18.799
 If you look

00:28:18.799 --> 00:28:19.519
 at this translation,

00:28:19.720 --> 00:28:20.240
 it says,

00:28:21.220 --> 00:28:22.480
 since they are

00:28:22.480 --> 00:28:23.340
 heirs with you

00:28:23.340 --> 00:28:24.539
 of the grace of life.

00:28:24.940 --> 00:28:25.660
 That's one way

00:28:25.660 --> 00:28:26.380
 to translate it.

00:28:26.860 --> 00:28:27.720
 You could take it as

00:28:27.720 --> 00:28:28.240
 show honor

00:28:28.240 --> 00:28:29.500
 because they're

00:28:29.500 --> 00:28:30.039
 heirs with you

00:28:30.039 --> 00:28:30.820
 of the grace of life.

00:28:31.400 --> 00:28:32.180
 You could also

00:28:32.180 --> 00:28:32.920
 take it as

00:28:32.920 --> 00:28:33.620
 show honor

00:28:33.620 --> 00:28:34.779
 as if,

00:28:34.840 --> 00:28:35.279
 in other words,

00:28:35.400 --> 00:28:36.200
 pretend like

00:28:36.200 --> 00:28:37.100
 they're heirs with you

00:28:37.100 --> 00:28:38.340
 in the grace of life.

00:28:38.940 --> 00:28:39.320
 Remember,

00:28:39.420 --> 00:28:40.200
 we're talking about

00:28:40.200 --> 00:28:40.840
 how it is

00:28:40.840 --> 00:28:41.279
 that Christians

00:28:41.279 --> 00:28:42.200
 are supposed to interact

00:28:42.200 --> 00:28:43.180
 with non-Christians.

00:28:43.880 --> 00:28:44.500
 The Greek here

00:28:44.500 --> 00:28:45.299
 could go either way.

00:28:46.259 --> 00:28:47.460
 I think it's probably

00:28:47.460 --> 00:28:48.299
 more likely,

00:28:48.419 --> 00:28:49.159
 now both should be

00:28:49.159 --> 00:28:49.779
 in mind, right?

00:28:49.859 --> 00:28:50.819
 It actually doesn't matter

00:28:50.819 --> 00:28:51.899
 which one we fall down on.

00:28:52.639 --> 00:28:53.519
 But if we're talking

00:28:53.519 --> 00:28:54.720
 about places

00:28:54.720 --> 00:28:55.440
 where Christians

00:28:55.440 --> 00:28:56.480
 show honor

00:28:56.480 --> 00:28:57.379
 to non-Christians,

00:28:57.419 --> 00:28:58.240
 it's very likely

00:28:58.240 --> 00:28:59.099
 that this is

00:28:59.099 --> 00:29:00.119
 a Christian man

00:29:00.119 --> 00:29:00.700
 who's married

00:29:00.700 --> 00:29:02.159
 to a non-Christian woman.

00:29:02.940 --> 00:29:04.159
 If that's the case,

00:29:04.259 --> 00:29:04.960
 Peter is saying,

00:29:05.099 --> 00:29:05.779
 treat your wife

00:29:05.779 --> 00:29:07.500
 as if she's a Christian

00:29:07.500 --> 00:29:08.859
 even though she's not.

00:29:10.519 --> 00:29:11.299
 And remember,

00:29:11.419 --> 00:29:11.899
 I talked about

00:29:11.899 --> 00:29:12.639
 last week,

00:29:12.720 --> 00:29:13.639
 in this society,

00:29:13.640 --> 00:29:15.220
 there was an expectation

00:29:15.220 --> 00:29:16.220
 that the wife

00:29:16.220 --> 00:29:17.200
 would automatically

00:29:17.200 --> 00:29:18.160
 worship whoever

00:29:18.160 --> 00:29:19.240
 the husband worshiped.

00:29:20.000 --> 00:29:21.320
 And so here's a man

00:29:21.320 --> 00:29:22.840
 who's being dishonored

00:29:22.840 --> 00:29:23.600
 by his wife.

00:29:24.480 --> 00:29:25.520
 She refuses

00:29:25.520 --> 00:29:27.000
 to worship his gods.

00:29:28.920 --> 00:29:29.840
 People could look

00:29:29.840 --> 00:29:30.640
 around him and say,

00:29:30.740 --> 00:29:30.920
 man,

00:29:31.000 --> 00:29:32.020
 those Christian men,

00:29:32.100 --> 00:29:32.440
 you know,

00:29:32.720 --> 00:29:33.900
 they're just so weak.

00:29:34.560 --> 00:29:35.560
 Their wives won't even

00:29:35.560 --> 00:29:36.420
 worship their gods

00:29:36.420 --> 00:29:36.860
 with them.

00:29:38.020 --> 00:29:39.400
 And that Christian man

00:29:39.400 --> 00:29:40.000
 could be tempted

00:29:40.000 --> 00:29:40.540
 to think,

00:29:40.980 --> 00:29:41.940
 in frustration,

00:29:42.160 --> 00:29:43.020
 act out in that way

00:29:43.019 --> 00:29:43.759
 against his wife,

00:29:43.819 --> 00:29:43.920
 right,

00:29:43.980 --> 00:29:44.099
 man,

00:29:44.119 --> 00:29:44.720
 I can't believe

00:29:44.720 --> 00:29:45.539
 that you won't convert

00:29:45.539 --> 00:29:46.599
 and you won't follow

00:29:46.599 --> 00:29:47.220
 my God,

00:29:47.359 --> 00:29:48.119
 Jesus with me

00:29:48.119 --> 00:29:48.819
 because you know,

00:29:48.920 --> 00:29:49.539
 in our culture,

00:29:49.680 --> 00:29:50.400
 everyone knows

00:29:50.400 --> 00:29:51.299
 that the wife worships

00:29:51.299 --> 00:29:52.740
 the God of the husband.

00:29:54.200 --> 00:29:54.500
 And in fact,

00:29:54.559 --> 00:29:55.779
 Peter says quite the opposite.

00:29:56.940 --> 00:29:57.960
 Instead of being frustrated

00:29:57.960 --> 00:29:58.539
 by the fact

00:29:58.539 --> 00:29:59.579
 that you're not being shown

00:29:59.579 --> 00:29:59.879
 honor,

00:30:00.019 --> 00:30:00.639
 reverse it.

00:30:01.460 --> 00:30:02.559
 Pretend as if she is

00:30:02.559 --> 00:30:03.059
 a Christian

00:30:03.059 --> 00:30:05.559
 and subvert the system

00:30:05.559 --> 00:30:06.180
 in the same way

00:30:06.180 --> 00:30:07.160
 that he tells Christian wives

00:30:07.160 --> 00:30:08.099
 to subvert the system.

00:30:09.220 --> 00:30:10.500
 Show even more honor

00:30:10.500 --> 00:30:10.940
 to her

00:30:10.940 --> 00:30:12.480
 as she dishonors you.

00:30:13.019 --> 00:30:16.299
 Now,

00:30:16.359 --> 00:30:16.940
 if it's the case

00:30:16.940 --> 00:30:17.660
 that he is talking

00:30:17.660 --> 00:30:19.619
 about Christian wives

00:30:19.619 --> 00:30:20.279
 of Christian men,

00:30:20.339 --> 00:30:21.319
 the point's still the same,

00:30:21.359 --> 00:30:21.539
 right?

00:30:22.259 --> 00:30:22.619
 Okay,

00:30:22.720 --> 00:30:23.660
 in this society,

00:30:23.819 --> 00:30:24.799
 you may think

00:30:24.799 --> 00:30:25.639
 that they're worth

00:30:25.639 --> 00:30:26.339
 less than you.

00:30:27.220 --> 00:30:28.180
 But guess what?

00:30:28.240 --> 00:30:29.319
 In the holy nation,

00:30:29.619 --> 00:30:30.900
 you guys are both heirs

00:30:30.900 --> 00:30:31.819
 of God's grace.

00:30:32.240 --> 00:30:32.839
 God's not giving

00:30:32.839 --> 00:30:34.059
 more grace to men

00:30:34.059 --> 00:30:34.879
 than he is to women.

00:30:36.440 --> 00:30:37.779
 And so in God's eyes,

00:30:37.859 --> 00:30:38.259
 you're equal.

00:30:39.559 --> 00:30:40.440
 Act in that way.

00:30:41.819 --> 00:30:42.879
 Behave in that way.

00:30:43.740 --> 00:30:44.400
 Behave in a way

00:30:44.400 --> 00:30:45.160
 that it's clear

00:30:45.160 --> 00:30:46.139
 to your wife

00:30:46.139 --> 00:30:47.079
 that you think

00:30:47.079 --> 00:30:47.779
 that you're equal

00:30:47.779 --> 00:30:48.180
 with her

00:30:48.180 --> 00:30:49.039
 in the sight of God.

00:30:50.420 --> 00:30:52.019
 And so use your power

00:30:52.019 --> 00:30:52.900
 and your authority

00:30:52.900 --> 00:30:53.879
 in this system

00:30:53.879 --> 00:30:55.480
 to build your family up

00:30:55.480 --> 00:30:57.099
 and to build your wife up

00:30:57.099 --> 00:30:57.980
 rather than

00:30:57.980 --> 00:30:59.039
 to build yourself up.

00:31:00.299 --> 00:31:01.440
 You are seeking

00:31:01.440 --> 00:31:02.680
 in whatever way

00:31:02.680 --> 00:31:03.240
 you can

00:31:03.240 --> 00:31:04.819
 to use your position

00:31:04.819 --> 00:31:05.759
 and your power

00:31:05.759 --> 00:31:06.680
 to show honor

00:31:06.680 --> 00:31:07.759
 to your wife.

00:31:07.759 --> 00:31:12.960
 because God

00:31:12.960 --> 00:31:14.480
 and Jesus died,

00:31:14.579 --> 00:31:15.539
 his blood was as much

00:31:15.539 --> 00:31:15.980
 for her

00:31:15.980 --> 00:31:16.920
 as it was for you.

00:31:18.819 --> 00:31:19.720
 And so act

00:31:19.720 --> 00:31:20.339
 in that way.

00:31:22.019 --> 00:31:22.779
 That should be

00:31:22.779 --> 00:31:23.240
 the way

00:31:23.240 --> 00:31:24.379
 that you behave.

00:31:24.380 --> 00:31:29.460
 we've seen

00:31:29.460 --> 00:31:29.880
 first

00:31:29.880 --> 00:31:31.080
 live in an understanding

00:31:31.080 --> 00:31:31.520
 way.

00:31:33.040 --> 00:31:33.560
 Second,

00:31:34.240 --> 00:31:34.980
 showing honor.

00:31:36.100 --> 00:31:37.100
 And then finally,

00:31:37.100 --> 00:31:38.600
 there is a sobering

00:31:38.600 --> 00:31:39.180
 warning

00:31:39.180 --> 00:31:40.180
 that this passage

00:31:40.180 --> 00:31:40.920
 ends with.

00:31:41.680 --> 00:31:42.520
 There's a purpose

00:31:42.520 --> 00:31:43.200
 clause here.

00:31:43.600 --> 00:31:44.020
 When it came

00:31:44.020 --> 00:31:44.560
 to the wives,

00:31:44.660 --> 00:31:45.100
 the purpose

00:31:45.100 --> 00:31:46.080
 was that they might

00:31:46.080 --> 00:31:47.740
 win their husbands

00:31:47.740 --> 00:31:48.980
 to follow after Jesus.

00:31:49.940 --> 00:31:50.339
 Here,

00:31:50.980 --> 00:31:51.940
 and that was a positive,

00:31:52.079 --> 00:31:52.200
 right?

00:31:52.240 --> 00:31:53.099
 That was the carrot.

00:31:53.680 --> 00:31:54.700
 Now we have a stick

00:31:54.700 --> 00:31:55.660
 for the men.

00:31:57.160 --> 00:31:58.059
 Your behavior

00:31:58.059 --> 00:31:58.559
 should be

00:31:58.559 --> 00:31:59.279
 in such a way

00:31:59.279 --> 00:32:00.180
 that your prayers

00:32:00.180 --> 00:32:01.500
 are not hindered.

00:32:04.059 --> 00:32:05.160
 In other words,

00:32:05.819 --> 00:32:07.420
 if you are not

00:32:07.420 --> 00:32:08.079
 living in an

00:32:08.079 --> 00:32:09.160
 understanding way

00:32:09.160 --> 00:32:09.980
 with your wife,

00:32:10.039 --> 00:32:10.500
 if you're not

00:32:10.500 --> 00:32:11.559
 listening to your wife,

00:32:12.460 --> 00:32:13.160
 God's not

00:32:13.160 --> 00:32:14.079
 listening to you.

00:32:14.079 --> 00:32:19.599
 Now this might

00:32:19.599 --> 00:32:20.379
 seem strange

00:32:20.379 --> 00:32:21.279
 at first

00:32:21.279 --> 00:32:21.960
 because of course

00:32:21.960 --> 00:32:23.240
 our understanding

00:32:23.240 --> 00:32:23.839
 is that everything

00:32:23.839 --> 00:32:24.639
 is by grace,

00:32:24.699 --> 00:32:24.919
 right?

00:32:24.980 --> 00:32:25.740
 We don't earn

00:32:25.740 --> 00:32:26.699
 favor from God.

00:32:27.839 --> 00:32:28.619
 God saved us

00:32:28.619 --> 00:32:29.319
 from our sins.

00:32:29.500 --> 00:32:29.879
 We would say

00:32:29.879 --> 00:32:31.299
 God hears our prayers

00:32:31.299 --> 00:32:32.460
 because Jesus

00:32:32.460 --> 00:32:33.299
 mediates for us,

00:32:33.319 --> 00:32:33.500
 right?

00:32:33.559 --> 00:32:34.720
 So in what sense

00:32:34.720 --> 00:32:36.019
 would God not

00:32:36.019 --> 00:32:36.740
 hear our prayers?

00:32:36.960 --> 00:32:37.659
 The assumption here

00:32:37.659 --> 00:32:38.439
 is that this person

00:32:38.439 --> 00:32:39.699
 is a Christian,

00:32:39.799 --> 00:32:40.000
 right?

00:32:41.679 --> 00:32:42.679
 So why would God

00:32:42.679 --> 00:32:43.419
 not hear the prayers

00:32:43.419 --> 00:32:43.960
 of a Christian?

00:32:44.779 --> 00:32:45.740
 Jesus died for this

00:32:45.740 --> 00:32:45.960
 person.

00:32:46.019 --> 00:32:47.000
 He's mediating for them.

00:32:48.319 --> 00:32:49.199
 And maybe we could say

00:32:49.199 --> 00:32:50.240
 God hears the prayers,

00:32:50.379 --> 00:32:50.559
 right?

00:32:50.599 --> 00:32:51.559
 But he's not answering

00:32:51.559 --> 00:32:52.619
 them because he's not

00:32:52.619 --> 00:32:53.619
 answering them with a yes.

00:32:54.720 --> 00:32:55.759
 How can we understand

00:32:55.759 --> 00:32:56.619
 God's grace

00:32:56.619 --> 00:32:58.919
 and both his discipline?

00:33:00.599 --> 00:33:01.299
 And I want you all

00:33:01.299 --> 00:33:01.859
 to think about it

00:33:01.859 --> 00:33:02.299
 like this.

00:33:02.319 --> 00:33:03.379
 So you know that I

00:33:03.379 --> 00:33:04.519
 try to get out

00:33:04.519 --> 00:33:05.319
 as much as I can

00:33:05.319 --> 00:33:06.099
 and run and hike.

00:33:06.839 --> 00:33:07.559
 And if you run

00:33:07.559 --> 00:33:08.460
 and hike in Colorado,

00:33:09.299 --> 00:33:10.500
 there are trails

00:33:10.500 --> 00:33:11.099
 that will take

00:33:11.099 --> 00:33:11.799
 different routes.

00:33:12.659 --> 00:33:13.460
 And if you go out,

00:33:13.460 --> 00:33:14.279
 like I did recently

00:33:14.279 --> 00:33:14.900
 in Cheyenne Mountain

00:33:14.900 --> 00:33:15.440
 State Park

00:33:15.440 --> 00:33:16.319
 after it snowed,

00:33:16.360 --> 00:33:16.980
 there's going to be

00:33:16.980 --> 00:33:18.120
 certain parts of the trail

00:33:18.120 --> 00:33:19.299
 that still have snow

00:33:19.299 --> 00:33:19.779
 on them

00:33:19.779 --> 00:33:20.900
 and certain parts

00:33:20.900 --> 00:33:21.440
 that don't.

00:33:21.720 --> 00:33:21.980
 Why?

00:33:26.620 --> 00:33:27.380
 Certain parts

00:33:27.380 --> 00:33:27.920
 of the trail

00:33:27.920 --> 00:33:28.860
 are highly exposed

00:33:28.860 --> 00:33:29.640
 to the sun

00:33:29.640 --> 00:33:30.900
 and certain parts

00:33:30.900 --> 00:33:31.299
 are not.

00:33:31.299 --> 00:33:34.899
 when you walk

00:33:34.899 --> 00:33:35.839
 into the shadows,

00:33:36.319 --> 00:33:38.460
 don't be surprised

00:33:38.460 --> 00:33:39.159
 when the temperature

00:33:39.159 --> 00:33:39.680
 drops.

00:33:42.319 --> 00:33:43.220
 When you walk

00:33:43.220 --> 00:33:44.039
 into the shadows,

00:33:44.559 --> 00:33:45.960
 don't be surprised

00:33:45.960 --> 00:33:46.619
 when the temperature

00:33:46.619 --> 00:33:47.079
 drops.

00:33:48.559 --> 00:33:49.700
 That doesn't mean

00:33:49.700 --> 00:33:50.519
 you earned

00:33:50.519 --> 00:33:51.220
 the sun

00:33:51.220 --> 00:33:52.059
 in any way.

00:33:54.220 --> 00:33:54.659
 Okay?

00:33:56.440 --> 00:33:57.180
 God's grace,

00:33:57.299 --> 00:33:57.819
 you don't earn it,

00:33:57.839 --> 00:33:58.539
 you don't merit it.

00:33:58.539 --> 00:33:59.079
 When I walk

00:33:59.079 --> 00:33:59.839
 out into the sun,

00:33:59.920 --> 00:34:00.720
 I didn't merit

00:34:00.720 --> 00:34:01.480
 that sun

00:34:01.480 --> 00:34:02.339
 by my behavior.

00:34:03.500 --> 00:34:04.019
 However,

00:34:04.579 --> 00:34:05.859
 I put myself

00:34:05.859 --> 00:34:06.740
 in the place

00:34:06.740 --> 00:34:07.139
 of the heat

00:34:07.139 --> 00:34:07.659
 of the sun.

00:34:09.279 --> 00:34:10.300
 And when I walked

00:34:10.300 --> 00:34:11.000
 in the shadows,

00:34:11.639 --> 00:34:12.699
 I chose

00:34:12.699 --> 00:34:14.000
 to remove myself

00:34:14.000 --> 00:34:14.619
 from the heat

00:34:14.619 --> 00:34:15.139
 of the sun.

00:34:16.460 --> 00:34:17.639
 There is a way

00:34:17.639 --> 00:34:18.679
 as a Christian husband

00:34:18.679 --> 00:34:20.199
 to remove yourself

00:34:20.199 --> 00:34:21.579
 from the heat

00:34:21.579 --> 00:34:22.960
 of God's blessing.

00:34:22.960 --> 00:34:28.420
 God

00:34:28.420 --> 00:34:29.740
 will not

00:34:29.740 --> 00:34:30.500
 be mocked.

00:34:33.619 --> 00:34:34.420
 And he

00:34:34.420 --> 00:34:34.900
 is not

00:34:34.900 --> 00:34:35.400
 interested

00:34:35.400 --> 00:34:36.320
 in providing

00:34:36.320 --> 00:34:36.800
 blessing

00:34:36.800 --> 00:34:37.340
 and answer

00:34:37.340 --> 00:34:38.159
 to the prayers

00:34:38.159 --> 00:34:39.240
 of harsh

00:34:39.240 --> 00:34:40.300
 and insensitive

00:34:40.300 --> 00:34:40.840
 husbands.

00:34:44.039 --> 00:34:45.039
 Doesn't negate

00:34:45.039 --> 00:34:45.699
 his grace.

00:34:48.039 --> 00:34:49.000
 But it also

00:34:49.000 --> 00:34:49.579
 shows how

00:34:49.579 --> 00:34:50.320
 serious

00:34:50.320 --> 00:34:51.420
 God is

00:34:51.420 --> 00:34:52.280
 about disciplining

00:34:52.280 --> 00:34:52.900
 his children.

00:34:52.960 --> 00:34:56.780
 And so

00:34:56.780 --> 00:34:57.179
 there's also

00:34:57.179 --> 00:34:57.980
 several principles

00:34:57.980 --> 00:34:58.360
 here.

00:34:58.500 --> 00:34:58.720
 First,

00:34:58.860 --> 00:34:59.280
 authority

00:34:59.280 --> 00:35:00.280
 goes with

00:35:00.280 --> 00:35:01.000
 responsibility.

00:35:02.039 --> 00:35:02.800
 And responsibility

00:35:02.800 --> 00:35:03.740
 goes with

00:35:03.740 --> 00:35:04.240
 accountability.

00:35:05.300 --> 00:35:05.559
 And so

00:35:05.559 --> 00:35:05.880
 husbands,

00:35:06.039 --> 00:35:06.400
 you have more

00:35:06.400 --> 00:35:07.079
 authority in the

00:35:07.079 --> 00:35:07.420
 family,

00:35:08.000 --> 00:35:08.420
 guess what?

00:35:08.500 --> 00:35:08.820
 That means

00:35:08.820 --> 00:35:09.300
 you have more

00:35:09.300 --> 00:35:09.780
 accountability.

00:35:11.460 --> 00:35:11.820
 Husbands

00:35:11.820 --> 00:35:12.699
 will answer

00:35:12.699 --> 00:35:13.579
 to God

00:35:13.579 --> 00:35:14.480
 for how they

00:35:14.480 --> 00:35:15.039
 treat their

00:35:15.039 --> 00:35:15.659
 wives and

00:35:15.659 --> 00:35:16.240
 their families.

00:35:18.320 --> 00:35:19.099
 And Peter

00:35:19.099 --> 00:35:19.980
 intends for that

00:35:19.980 --> 00:35:21.079
 to be sobering

00:35:21.079 --> 00:35:22.079
 for the people

00:35:22.079 --> 00:35:22.679
 reading this

00:35:22.679 --> 00:35:22.899
 letter.

00:35:23.500 --> 00:35:24.440
 This is not

00:35:24.440 --> 00:35:25.159
 just some

00:35:25.159 --> 00:35:26.619
 fluffy

00:35:26.619 --> 00:35:27.960
 marriage advice

00:35:27.960 --> 00:35:29.179
 for people

00:35:29.179 --> 00:35:29.719
 who are more

00:35:29.719 --> 00:35:30.079
 sensitive.

00:35:32.319 --> 00:35:32.940
 But Peter

00:35:32.940 --> 00:35:33.480
 is warning

00:35:33.480 --> 00:35:33.899
 them that

00:35:33.899 --> 00:35:34.500
 this is the

00:35:34.500 --> 00:35:35.000
 behavior

00:35:35.000 --> 00:35:35.980
 that brings

00:35:35.980 --> 00:35:36.759
 God's favor.

00:35:37.899 --> 00:35:38.500
 And the

00:35:38.500 --> 00:35:39.139
 inverse is

00:35:39.139 --> 00:35:39.739
 also true.

00:35:42.119 --> 00:35:42.799
 By the way,

00:35:42.859 --> 00:35:43.179
 this is a

00:35:43.179 --> 00:35:43.599
 principle in

00:35:43.599 --> 00:35:44.139
 other parts of

00:35:44.139 --> 00:35:44.379
 Scripture.

00:35:44.500 --> 00:35:44.719
 In the book

00:35:44.719 --> 00:35:45.179
 of James,

00:35:45.239 --> 00:35:45.779
 it says that

00:35:45.779 --> 00:35:47.039
 teachers are

00:35:47.039 --> 00:35:47.519
 going to have

00:35:47.519 --> 00:35:48.019
 a greater

00:35:48.019 --> 00:35:48.579
 accountability

00:35:48.579 --> 00:35:49.419
 before God

00:35:49.419 --> 00:35:49.859
 for what they

00:35:49.859 --> 00:35:50.199
 teach.

00:35:50.199 --> 00:35:51.679
 And so

00:35:51.679 --> 00:35:51.960
 there's a

00:35:51.960 --> 00:35:52.299
 principle,

00:35:52.419 --> 00:35:52.879
 an authority,

00:35:53.000 --> 00:35:53.159
 right?

00:35:53.500 --> 00:35:54.019
 I said

00:35:54.019 --> 00:35:54.259
 earlier,

00:35:54.359 --> 00:35:54.500
 if you're

00:35:54.500 --> 00:35:54.859
 someone in

00:35:54.859 --> 00:35:55.239
 authority,

00:35:55.480 --> 00:35:56.039
 the responsibility

00:35:56.039 --> 00:35:56.799
 is on you

00:35:56.799 --> 00:35:57.139
 to take

00:35:57.139 --> 00:35:57.559
 initiative,

00:35:58.059 --> 00:35:58.899
 to see how

00:35:58.899 --> 00:35:59.439
 you can help

00:35:59.439 --> 00:35:59.779
 the people

00:35:59.779 --> 00:36:00.199
 who are under

00:36:00.199 --> 00:36:00.460
 you.

00:36:01.159 --> 00:36:01.739
 If you're

00:36:01.739 --> 00:36:02.279
 in authority,

00:36:03.659 --> 00:36:05.000
 God's

00:36:05.000 --> 00:36:05.559
 discipline is

00:36:05.559 --> 00:36:05.859
 real.

00:36:08.199 --> 00:36:08.859
 It tells us

00:36:08.859 --> 00:36:09.199
 in Hebrews

00:36:09.199 --> 00:36:09.839
 chapter 12

00:36:09.839 --> 00:36:10.159
 that his

00:36:10.159 --> 00:36:10.719
 discipline is

00:36:10.719 --> 00:36:11.059
 a way that

00:36:11.059 --> 00:36:11.359
 we know

00:36:11.359 --> 00:36:11.579
 that we

00:36:11.579 --> 00:36:12.079
 belong to

00:36:12.079 --> 00:36:12.279
 him.

00:36:13.000 --> 00:36:13.279
 And so

00:36:13.279 --> 00:36:13.619
 it doesn't

00:36:13.619 --> 00:36:13.939
 mean that

00:36:13.939 --> 00:36:14.379
 these husbands

00:36:14.379 --> 00:36:14.699
 aren't

00:36:14.699 --> 00:36:15.159
 Christians.

00:36:16.079 --> 00:36:16.299
 In fact,

00:36:16.359 --> 00:36:16.679
 quite the

00:36:16.679 --> 00:36:17.019
 opposite.

00:36:17.159 --> 00:36:17.299
 They're

00:36:17.299 --> 00:36:17.859
 children of

00:36:17.860 --> 00:36:18.340
 God who

00:36:18.340 --> 00:36:18.680
 are being

00:36:18.680 --> 00:36:19.200
 disciplined

00:36:19.200 --> 00:36:20.160
 for being

00:36:20.160 --> 00:36:21.200
 harsh and

00:36:21.200 --> 00:36:21.800
 unloving to

00:36:21.800 --> 00:36:22.320
 their wives.

00:36:24.220 --> 00:36:24.640
 Now,

00:36:24.700 --> 00:36:25.059
 it's tempting

00:36:25.059 --> 00:36:25.860
 to take this

00:36:25.860 --> 00:36:26.300
 passage for

00:36:26.300 --> 00:36:26.700
 some people

00:36:26.700 --> 00:36:27.099
 and just say,

00:36:27.220 --> 00:36:27.260
 well,

00:36:27.300 --> 00:36:27.920
 the point is

00:36:27.920 --> 00:36:28.460
 don't abuse

00:36:28.460 --> 00:36:28.900
 your wife.

00:36:30.039 --> 00:36:30.440
 Actually,

00:36:30.500 --> 00:36:30.820
 that's not

00:36:30.820 --> 00:36:31.140
 the point.

00:36:31.200 --> 00:36:31.500
 That's the

00:36:31.500 --> 00:36:31.900
 assumption.

00:36:32.860 --> 00:36:33.660
 The assumption

00:36:33.660 --> 00:36:34.400
 of this passage,

00:36:34.480 --> 00:36:34.900
 as I mentioned

00:36:34.900 --> 00:36:35.380
 last week,

00:36:35.420 --> 00:36:35.900
 is that abuse

00:36:35.900 --> 00:36:36.380
 is off the

00:36:36.380 --> 00:36:36.680
 table.

00:36:38.140 --> 00:36:38.400
 No,

00:36:38.460 --> 00:36:39.000
 this is saying

00:36:39.000 --> 00:36:39.340
 that the

00:36:39.340 --> 00:36:40.140
 standard of

00:36:40.140 --> 00:36:40.740
 a normal

00:36:40.740 --> 00:36:41.620
 Christian husband

00:36:41.620 --> 00:36:42.620
 is that this

00:36:42.620 --> 00:36:43.039
 is the kind

00:36:43.039 --> 00:36:43.660
 of man who's

00:36:43.660 --> 00:36:44.539
 seeking understanding

00:36:44.539 --> 00:36:45.200
 about his wife

00:36:45.200 --> 00:36:45.820
 and looking to

00:36:45.820 --> 00:36:46.519
 live in a way

00:36:46.519 --> 00:36:47.599
 that honors her.

00:36:48.860 --> 00:36:49.500
 And so,

00:36:49.559 --> 00:36:50.019
 it's not just

00:36:50.019 --> 00:36:50.480
 what someone

00:36:50.480 --> 00:36:51.180
 doesn't do.

00:36:51.260 --> 00:36:51.660
 It's not just,

00:36:51.780 --> 00:36:51.860
 oh,

00:36:51.900 --> 00:36:52.380
 I don't abuse

00:36:52.380 --> 00:36:52.720
 my wife,

00:36:52.760 --> 00:36:53.120
 I'm off the

00:36:53.120 --> 00:36:53.280
 hook.

00:36:53.420 --> 00:36:53.820
 But what

00:36:53.820 --> 00:36:54.539
 someone does

00:36:54.539 --> 00:36:54.920
 do,

00:36:55.320 --> 00:36:55.480
 right,

00:36:55.640 --> 00:36:56.180
 the husband

00:36:56.180 --> 00:36:57.079
 of consideration

00:36:57.079 --> 00:36:58.260
 and care.

00:37:00.079 --> 00:37:00.720
 And so,

00:37:00.820 --> 00:37:01.500
 God disciplines

00:37:01.500 --> 00:37:02.000
 people.

00:37:03.760 --> 00:37:04.579
 Men who are

00:37:04.579 --> 00:37:05.200
 harsh with

00:37:05.200 --> 00:37:05.640
 their wives

00:37:05.640 --> 00:37:06.440
 should expect

00:37:06.440 --> 00:37:07.380
 God's discipline

00:37:07.380 --> 00:37:08.260
 to fall on

00:37:08.260 --> 00:37:08.440
 them.

00:37:09.900 --> 00:37:11.019
 God is not

00:37:11.019 --> 00:37:11.519
 amused,

00:37:12.140 --> 00:37:13.740
 and he will

00:37:13.740 --> 00:37:14.620
 not be mocked.

00:37:17.860 --> 00:37:18.860
 God is not

00:37:18.860 --> 00:37:19.960
 going to

00:37:19.960 --> 00:37:20.539
 do it.

00:37:20.539 --> 00:37:22.440
 And so,

00:37:22.539 --> 00:37:22.820
 as Peter

00:37:22.820 --> 00:37:23.320
 writes this

00:37:23.320 --> 00:37:23.519
 letter,

00:37:23.579 --> 00:37:23.900
 he wants

00:37:23.900 --> 00:37:24.140
 them to

00:37:24.140 --> 00:37:24.720
 understand

00:37:24.720 --> 00:37:26.099
 how important

00:37:26.099 --> 00:37:26.980
 this is for

00:37:26.980 --> 00:37:27.579
 them as they

00:37:27.579 --> 00:37:28.700
 live as a

00:37:28.700 --> 00:37:29.280
 holy nation.

00:37:31.820 --> 00:37:32.440
 And of

00:37:32.440 --> 00:37:32.599
 course,

00:37:32.680 --> 00:37:32.960
 what is

00:37:32.960 --> 00:37:33.220
 their

00:37:33.220 --> 00:37:33.840
 motivation?

00:37:36.519 --> 00:37:37.000
 Their

00:37:37.000 --> 00:37:37.720
 motivation is

00:37:37.720 --> 00:37:37.980
 that they

00:37:37.980 --> 00:37:38.420
 would do

00:37:38.420 --> 00:37:38.780
 the very

00:37:38.780 --> 00:37:39.380
 same thing

00:37:39.380 --> 00:37:39.760
 that Jesus

00:37:39.760 --> 00:37:40.200
 has done

00:37:40.200 --> 00:37:40.660
 for them.

00:37:42.180 --> 00:37:42.740
 Jesus is

00:37:42.740 --> 00:37:43.240
 someone who

00:37:43.240 --> 00:37:43.740
 has had

00:37:43.740 --> 00:37:44.300
 all the

00:37:44.300 --> 00:37:44.760
 authority,

00:37:44.760 --> 00:37:45.160
 right?

00:37:46.200 --> 00:37:46.520
 In

00:37:46.520 --> 00:37:46.940
 Philippians

00:37:46.940 --> 00:37:47.460
 chapter 2

00:37:47.460 --> 00:37:47.980
 talks about

00:37:47.980 --> 00:37:48.320
 how he

00:37:48.320 --> 00:37:48.760
 gave it

00:37:48.760 --> 00:37:49.180
 all up.

00:37:49.260 --> 00:37:49.660
 He laid

00:37:49.660 --> 00:37:50.180
 it down.

00:37:50.900 --> 00:37:51.580
 He sacrificed

00:37:51.580 --> 00:37:53.100
 it for the

00:37:53.100 --> 00:37:53.500
 good of his

00:37:53.500 --> 00:37:53.820
 people.

00:37:55.280 --> 00:37:56.060
 And he did

00:37:56.060 --> 00:37:56.460
 it when they

00:37:56.460 --> 00:37:56.800
 were,

00:37:56.800 --> 00:37:57.800
 right,

00:37:57.880 --> 00:37:58.220
 rebelling

00:37:58.220 --> 00:37:58.940
 against him.

00:37:59.760 --> 00:38:00.540
 As this

00:38:00.540 --> 00:38:01.240
 Christian husband

00:38:01.240 --> 00:38:02.100
 potentially married

00:38:02.100 --> 00:38:02.800
 to a non-Christian

00:38:02.800 --> 00:38:03.760
 woman might feel

00:38:03.760 --> 00:38:04.140
 like it's

00:38:04.140 --> 00:38:04.600
 happening in

00:38:04.600 --> 00:38:05.080
 his marriage.

00:38:06.800 --> 00:38:07.400
 And yet,

00:38:07.460 --> 00:38:07.680
 what did

00:38:07.680 --> 00:38:08.120
 Jesus do?

00:38:08.180 --> 00:38:08.620
 He used

00:38:08.620 --> 00:38:09.240
 his power

00:38:09.240 --> 00:38:09.560
 and his

00:38:09.560 --> 00:38:10.000
 authority

00:38:10.000 --> 00:38:10.880
 not to

00:38:10.880 --> 00:38:11.480
 build himself

00:38:11.480 --> 00:38:11.780
 up,

00:38:11.860 --> 00:38:12.160
 not to

00:38:12.160 --> 00:38:12.480
 exalt

00:38:12.480 --> 00:38:12.980
 himself,

00:38:12.980 --> 00:38:15.179
 but to

00:38:15.179 --> 00:38:15.880
 lift us

00:38:15.880 --> 00:38:16.940
 up and

00:38:16.940 --> 00:38:17.820
 exalt us.

00:38:19.119 --> 00:38:19.420
 And so

00:38:19.420 --> 00:38:19.800
 that's why

00:38:19.800 --> 00:38:20.300
 that passage

00:38:20.300 --> 00:38:20.880
 in Philippians

00:38:20.880 --> 00:38:21.500
 ends by

00:38:21.500 --> 00:38:22.119
 saying that

00:38:22.119 --> 00:38:22.579
 Jesus is

00:38:22.579 --> 00:38:22.840
 going to

00:38:22.840 --> 00:38:23.159
 be given

00:38:23.159 --> 00:38:23.579
 the name

00:38:23.579 --> 00:38:24.059
 that's above

00:38:24.059 --> 00:38:24.639
 every other

00:38:24.639 --> 00:38:24.940
 name.

00:38:25.260 --> 00:38:25.559
 He's going

00:38:25.559 --> 00:38:25.740
 to be

00:38:25.740 --> 00:38:26.199
 high and

00:38:26.199 --> 00:38:26.719
 lifted up.

00:38:28.059 --> 00:38:28.719
 Because that's

00:38:28.719 --> 00:38:29.199
 the logic

00:38:29.199 --> 00:38:29.500
 of the

00:38:29.500 --> 00:38:29.820
 gospel.

00:38:29.960 --> 00:38:30.159
 And so

00:38:30.159 --> 00:38:30.920
 this logic

00:38:30.920 --> 00:38:32.000
 is being

00:38:32.000 --> 00:38:32.940
 applied as

00:38:32.940 --> 00:38:33.420
 it has been

00:38:33.420 --> 00:38:33.960
 applied to

00:38:33.960 --> 00:38:34.460
 everyone else

00:38:34.460 --> 00:38:34.679
 in these

00:38:34.679 --> 00:38:35.119
 situations.

00:38:35.280 --> 00:38:35.539
 It's applied

00:38:35.539 --> 00:38:35.980
 to husbands.

00:38:36.099 --> 00:38:36.300
 So they

00:38:36.300 --> 00:38:36.820
 lose their

00:38:36.820 --> 00:38:37.380
 power to

00:38:37.380 --> 00:38:37.980
 lift up

00:38:37.980 --> 00:38:38.940
 rather than

00:38:38.940 --> 00:38:39.500
 tear down.

00:38:40.460 --> 00:38:40.820
 And that

00:38:40.820 --> 00:38:41.480
 God would

00:38:41.480 --> 00:38:41.920
 have,

00:38:41.980 --> 00:38:42.219
 has been

00:38:42.219 --> 00:38:42.619
 the goal

00:38:42.619 --> 00:38:42.900
 of all

00:38:42.900 --> 00:38:43.139
 of these

00:38:43.139 --> 00:38:43.559
 passages

00:38:43.559 --> 00:38:43.760
 to

00:38:43.760 --> 00:38:44.460
 tremendous

00:38:44.460 --> 00:38:45.139
 honor and

00:38:45.139 --> 00:38:45.460
 glory.

00:38:46.300 --> 00:38:46.760
 Just as

00:38:46.760 --> 00:38:47.240
 the hope

00:38:47.240 --> 00:38:47.760
 was that

00:38:47.760 --> 00:38:48.300
 non-Christian

00:38:48.300 --> 00:38:48.780
 men would

00:38:48.780 --> 00:38:49.079
 look at

00:38:49.079 --> 00:38:49.260
 these

00:38:49.260 --> 00:38:49.720
 Christian

00:38:49.720 --> 00:38:50.220
 wives

00:38:50.220 --> 00:38:50.980
 last week

00:38:50.980 --> 00:38:51.260
 and say,

00:38:51.380 --> 00:38:51.559
 man,

00:38:51.760 --> 00:38:53.180
 there's a lot

00:38:53.180 --> 00:38:53.539
 of hard

00:38:53.539 --> 00:38:54.059
 things about

00:38:54.059 --> 00:38:54.440
 having a

00:38:54.440 --> 00:38:54.800
 spouse who

00:38:54.800 --> 00:38:55.019
 doesn't

00:38:55.019 --> 00:38:55.400
 worship the

00:38:55.400 --> 00:38:55.780
 gods with

00:38:55.780 --> 00:38:55.940
 me,

00:38:56.019 --> 00:38:57.320
 and there's

00:38:57.320 --> 00:38:57.940
 times when I

00:38:57.940 --> 00:38:58.519
 really wish I

00:38:58.519 --> 00:38:58.700
 had a

00:38:58.700 --> 00:38:58.920
 Christian

00:38:58.920 --> 00:38:59.260
 wife.

00:39:00.360 --> 00:39:00.840
 Same is

00:39:00.840 --> 00:39:01.400
 also true

00:39:01.400 --> 00:39:02.160
 that women

00:39:02.160 --> 00:39:02.860
 would look

00:39:02.860 --> 00:39:03.320
 into the

00:39:03.320 --> 00:39:03.760
 church and

00:39:03.760 --> 00:39:04.320
 see Christian

00:39:04.320 --> 00:39:04.920
 husbands and

00:39:04.920 --> 00:39:05.139
 think,

00:39:05.280 --> 00:39:05.539
 man,

00:39:06.280 --> 00:39:06.660
 there's some

00:39:06.660 --> 00:39:07.019
 things I'm

00:39:07.019 --> 00:39:07.539
 not sure

00:39:07.539 --> 00:39:07.900
 about,

00:39:07.900 --> 00:39:08.119
 about

00:39:08.119 --> 00:39:08.599
 Christianity,

00:39:08.780 --> 00:39:09.139
 but those

00:39:09.139 --> 00:39:09.559
 Christian

00:39:09.559 --> 00:39:10.019
 husbands,

00:39:10.019 --> 00:39:12.079
 if I could

00:39:12.079 --> 00:39:12.579
 get one

00:39:12.579 --> 00:39:13.159
 of those.

00:39:15.800 --> 00:39:16.559
 That part of

00:39:16.559 --> 00:39:17.280
 this point of

00:39:17.280 --> 00:39:17.940
 1 Peter is

00:39:17.940 --> 00:39:18.480
 that as this

00:39:18.480 --> 00:39:19.219
 new nation,

00:39:19.860 --> 00:39:20.480
 they're modeling

00:39:20.480 --> 00:39:21.099
 to the world,

00:39:21.159 --> 00:39:21.559
 as I've said

00:39:21.559 --> 00:39:22.019
 before and I

00:39:22.019 --> 00:39:22.679
 said in Nehemiah,

00:39:22.759 --> 00:39:23.139
 that people

00:39:23.139 --> 00:39:23.699
 would look and

00:39:23.699 --> 00:39:24.380
 they would see

00:39:24.380 --> 00:39:25.320
 what it looks

00:39:25.320 --> 00:39:26.139
 like when God's

00:39:26.139 --> 00:39:27.179
 people walk in

00:39:27.179 --> 00:39:27.820
 God's ways.

00:39:27.820 --> 00:39:27.840
 ways.

00:39:28.900 --> 00:39:29.600
 One of the

00:39:29.600 --> 00:39:30.460
 ways that God's

00:39:30.460 --> 00:39:31.240
 people show

00:39:31.240 --> 00:39:32.019
 the world a

00:39:32.019 --> 00:39:33.000
 different way

00:39:33.000 --> 00:39:34.860
 of living is

00:39:34.860 --> 00:39:35.760
 when men and

00:39:35.760 --> 00:39:37.320
 women walk

00:39:37.320 --> 00:39:38.039
 together in

00:39:38.039 --> 00:39:38.840
 ways that honor

00:39:38.840 --> 00:39:39.400
 each other and

00:39:39.400 --> 00:39:40.180
 have peace with

00:39:40.180 --> 00:39:40.660
 one another.

00:39:42.019 --> 00:39:42.620
 And so this is

00:39:42.620 --> 00:39:43.019
 part of the

00:39:43.019 --> 00:39:43.740
 vision that Peter

00:39:43.740 --> 00:39:44.500
 has for this

00:39:44.500 --> 00:39:45.300
 Christian community,

00:39:45.680 --> 00:39:46.240
 that they would

00:39:46.240 --> 00:39:46.980
 be a light to

00:39:46.980 --> 00:39:48.420
 the world in

00:39:48.420 --> 00:39:48.820
 the way their

00:39:48.820 --> 00:39:49.500
 marriages work.

00:39:51.480 --> 00:39:52.300
 And so we've

00:39:52.300 --> 00:39:53.780
 been asking this

00:39:53.780 --> 00:39:54.420
 question of how

00:39:54.420 --> 00:39:56.300
 husbands fulfill

00:39:56.300 --> 00:39:57.220
 these principles of

00:39:57.219 --> 00:39:57.980
 being a priesthood,

00:39:58.059 --> 00:39:59.039
 of glorifying God,

00:39:59.079 --> 00:39:59.959
 of honoring everyone.

00:40:00.039 --> 00:40:01.319
 We see it with

00:40:01.319 --> 00:40:02.179
 two ways in one

00:40:02.179 --> 00:40:02.500
 warning.

00:40:04.039 --> 00:40:04.879
 First, they live in

00:40:04.879 --> 00:40:05.419
 a way that's

00:40:05.419 --> 00:40:06.059
 understanding,

00:40:06.659 --> 00:40:07.179
 knowing that their

00:40:07.179 --> 00:40:07.919
 experience of the

00:40:07.919 --> 00:40:08.419
 world is very

00:40:08.419 --> 00:40:09.119
 different from the

00:40:09.119 --> 00:40:09.819
 experience of their

00:40:09.819 --> 00:40:10.099
 wives.

00:40:11.159 --> 00:40:11.899
 Second, they live in

00:40:11.899 --> 00:40:13.019
 a way that shows

00:40:13.019 --> 00:40:14.739
 honor, not acting as

00:40:14.739 --> 00:40:15.619
 if somehow they're

00:40:15.619 --> 00:40:16.879
 more worthy as a

00:40:16.879 --> 00:40:18.579
 man, but looking to

00:40:18.579 --> 00:40:19.639
 show their wife how

00:40:19.639 --> 00:40:20.459
 worthy she is.

00:40:21.619 --> 00:40:22.259
 And then finally,

00:40:22.319 --> 00:40:22.859
 there's a warning

00:40:22.859 --> 00:40:24.019
 that God's discipline

00:40:24.019 --> 00:40:25.919
 is real for husbands

00:40:25.919 --> 00:40:27.039
 who fail to

00:40:27.039 --> 00:40:27.779
 honor and live with

00:40:27.779 --> 00:40:28.420
 their wives in an

00:40:28.420 --> 00:40:29.159
 understanding way.

00:40:30.380 --> 00:40:31.139
 And so while that's

00:40:31.139 --> 00:40:32.460
 the stick, we also

00:40:32.460 --> 00:40:33.199
 have the carrot and

00:40:33.199 --> 00:40:33.619
 the model.

00:40:33.719 --> 00:40:34.179
 Remember, we were

00:40:34.179 --> 00:40:35.380
 told earlier, a

00:40:35.380 --> 00:40:35.900
 couple weeks ago,

00:40:35.960 --> 00:40:37.039
 that Jesus is our

00:40:37.039 --> 00:40:37.500
 example.

00:40:38.699 --> 00:40:39.840
 And so we do this

00:40:39.840 --> 00:40:40.940
 following after Jesus

00:40:40.940 --> 00:40:42.019
 because we know that

00:40:42.019 --> 00:40:44.300
 for us and for his

00:40:44.300 --> 00:40:46.119
 church, he was the

00:40:46.119 --> 00:40:47.659
 husband that sought

00:40:47.659 --> 00:40:48.659
 to be understanding

00:40:48.659 --> 00:40:50.420
 and to sacrifice for

00:40:50.420 --> 00:40:50.900
 his church.

00:40:50.900 --> 00:40:50.940
 church.

00:40:52.360 --> 00:40:53.280
 And he was the

00:40:53.280 --> 00:40:54.400
 husband who gave up

00:40:54.400 --> 00:40:55.980
 his honor to give

00:40:55.980 --> 00:40:57.240
 tremendous honor and

00:40:57.240 --> 00:40:58.440
 glory to us.

00:40:59.720 --> 00:41:00.880
 And so we praise God

00:41:00.880 --> 00:41:01.880
 for that that he's

00:41:01.880 --> 00:41:02.840
 given to us, that we

00:41:02.840 --> 00:41:03.900
 could walk in his

00:41:03.900 --> 00:41:05.079
 ways and that everyone

00:41:05.079 --> 00:41:07.380
 would look and see a

00:41:07.380 --> 00:41:08.639
 different way and a

00:41:08.639 --> 00:41:09.220
 different kind of

00:41:09.220 --> 00:41:10.380
 marriage in this church

00:41:10.380 --> 00:41:11.440
 and in God's church.

00:41:12.380 --> 00:41:13.740
 And so it's with that

00:41:13.740 --> 00:41:14.720
 hope and that

00:41:14.720 --> 00:41:15.480
 admonition that I

00:41:15.480 --> 00:41:16.000
 invite you to pray

00:41:16.000 --> 00:41:16.380
 with me.

00:41:16.380 --> 00:41:19.740
 Dear Father in

00:41:19.740 --> 00:41:21.019
 Heaven, we again

00:41:21.019 --> 00:41:21.740
 thank you for your

00:41:21.740 --> 00:41:22.039
 word.

00:41:23.039 --> 00:41:23.940
 We ask that you

00:41:23.940 --> 00:41:25.860
 would use it in ways

00:41:25.860 --> 00:41:26.800
 that are purposeful and

00:41:26.800 --> 00:41:27.860
 powerful in our lives.

00:41:28.360 --> 00:41:30.220
 We ask for the

00:41:30.220 --> 00:41:31.059
 marriages in this

00:41:31.059 --> 00:41:31.820
 church that you'd

00:41:31.820 --> 00:41:33.099
 continue to build

00:41:33.099 --> 00:41:34.200
 them up and

00:41:34.200 --> 00:41:35.039
 strengthen them.

00:41:36.140 --> 00:41:37.340
 That our husbands

00:41:37.340 --> 00:41:38.420
 would more and more

00:41:38.420 --> 00:41:40.380
 love their wives like

00:41:40.380 --> 00:41:41.160
 you love the church.

00:41:42.140 --> 00:41:43.039
 And our wives would

00:41:43.039 --> 00:41:44.320
 more and more love

00:41:44.320 --> 00:41:45.559
 their husbands in the

00:41:45.559 --> 00:41:46.360
 same way with your

00:41:46.360 --> 00:41:47.680
 love honoring them as

00:41:47.680 --> 00:41:48.380
 they try to lead.

00:41:49.200 --> 00:41:50.260
 And that together we

00:41:50.260 --> 00:41:51.720
 would be able to give

00:41:51.720 --> 00:41:53.160
 you tremendous honor

00:41:53.160 --> 00:41:53.680
 and glory.

00:41:55.120 --> 00:41:56.120
 We ask that you'd send

00:41:56.120 --> 00:41:57.280
 your Holy Spirit to do

00:41:57.280 --> 00:41:59.160
 it and you'd empower us

00:41:59.160 --> 00:41:59.700
 because of the

00:41:59.700 --> 00:42:00.780
 sacrifice of your son.

00:42:01.640 --> 00:42:02.599
 And we ask it knowing

00:42:02.599 --> 00:42:03.559
 that we have not earned

00:42:03.559 --> 00:42:04.280
 it but that you have

00:42:04.280 --> 00:42:05.019
 earned it for us.

00:42:05.079 --> 00:42:06.000
 And so we ask it in

00:42:06.000 --> 00:42:06.640
 Jesus' name.

00:42:07.180 --> 00:42:07.420
 Amen.