WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:09.240 Let me say at the outset that I always, always, always enjoy listening to you sing. 00:00:09.240 --> 00:00:20.280 ! And one of the things that I really like when we sing together is how the scriptures 00:00:20.280 --> 00:00:21.280 ! 00:00:30.000 --> 00:00:37.679 Our singing would very, very quickly degenerate into something that really was of no redemptive 00:00:37.679 --> 00:00:38.679 value. 00:00:38.679 --> 00:00:40.179 Do you understand that? 00:00:40.179 --> 00:00:47.640 When you remove the Word of God from the hearts of God's people, and the Word of God does not 00:00:47.640 --> 00:00:56.620 inform the thinking, the behavior, the singing of God's people, very quickly all other kinds 00:00:56.619 --> 00:01:02.079 of things that are idolatrous come in and take their place. 00:01:02.079 --> 00:01:12.140 By the way, enthusiastic, powerful singing is not something that we do just because we 00:01:12.140 --> 00:01:16.120 work at it. 00:01:16.120 --> 00:01:23.000 It is an indicator of the filling of the Spirit of God. 00:01:23.000 --> 00:01:25.060 Isn't that right? 00:01:25.060 --> 00:01:31.460 Be filled with the Spirit and sit there like a bump on a log, like a, you know, I know it's 00:01:31.460 --> 00:01:34.580 a good song and it's a Bible, but I'm not singing. 00:01:34.579 --> 00:01:35.579 May it never be. 00:01:35.579 --> 00:01:36.579 May it never be. 00:01:36.579 --> 00:01:37.579 May it never be. 00:01:37.579 --> 00:01:38.579 Okay. 00:01:38.579 --> 00:01:43.920 Turn in your Bibles this morning to Ephesians chapter 5. 00:01:43.920 --> 00:01:47.019 We're going to be looking at 28 through 30. 00:01:47.019 --> 00:01:53.400 And it dawned on me that I have fallen behind in what is perhaps one of my most redundant 00:01:53.400 --> 00:01:55.140 statements to you. 00:01:55.140 --> 00:01:58.980 Do you know what a redundant statement is? 00:01:58.980 --> 00:02:01.420 It's something that is repetitious. 00:02:01.420 --> 00:02:05.939 Now, having said that I've fallen behind on one of my most redundant statements, you know 00:02:05.939 --> 00:02:12.879 what I'm going to say next, which is, thank you. 00:02:12.879 --> 00:02:22.639 When I walk from there to here, when I sit there, I think that. 00:02:22.639 --> 00:02:28.699 I am dependent upon the authority and power of the Word of God. 00:02:28.699 --> 00:02:32.219 I am dependent upon the power of the Spirit of God. 00:02:32.219 --> 00:02:39.159 And I am dependent on the prayers of God's people. 00:02:39.159 --> 00:02:46.159 I suppose it wouldn't hurt if I prayed too, right? 00:02:46.159 --> 00:02:47.620 I suppose it wouldn't hurt if I prayed too, right? 00:02:47.620 --> 00:02:58.919 Gracious Father, as the psalmist in 119 said, open your word that we might behold wondrous 00:02:58.919 --> 00:03:00.939 truths in your law. 00:03:02.519 --> 00:03:09.939 We're thankful for the clear revelation of the book of Romans in chapter 8 where we understand 00:03:09.939 --> 00:03:17.020 that part of the ministry of the Spirit of God involves helping us know you. 00:03:18.759 --> 00:03:22.340 And in 1 Corinthians chapter 2, understand you. 00:03:23.460 --> 00:03:30.340 And so we together ask for the power of the Spirit, my declaration being characterized by 00:03:30.340 --> 00:03:36.180 the enabling of the Spirit of God, and then the hearing and the application of the Word, 00:03:37.140 --> 00:03:48.280 the Word, the Scriptures, being strengthened and enabled by your Spirit that Christ might 00:03:48.280 --> 00:03:49.939 be exalted among us this morning. 00:03:51.300 --> 00:03:51.879 Amen. 00:03:51.879 --> 00:03:52.020 Amen. 00:03:52.020 --> 00:04:02.080 Now, we come back in Ephesians chapter 5, looking at verses 28 through 30, to Paul's very careful 00:04:02.080 --> 00:04:07.860 instruction on what being a Spirit-filled believer is to be like. 00:04:08.780 --> 00:04:14.240 And I want us to understand that behind this issue of the responsibilities that a Christian 00:04:14.240 --> 00:04:21.980 husband has is not this idea that God is giving to us just a set of expectations that we are 00:04:21.980 --> 00:04:24.520 to go about doing on our own strength. 00:04:26.480 --> 00:04:34.819 Listen, being the husband that God wants you to be is understood in the context of the filling 00:04:34.819 --> 00:04:37.900 of the Spirit of God and the power of the Spirit of God. 00:04:38.080 --> 00:04:41.840 And you remind yourself of what Jesus said there in John chapter 15. 00:04:41.980 --> 00:04:45.120 He said, without me you can do nothing. 00:04:46.000 --> 00:04:51.819 And so as I am working my way through the passage and we are studying this together and you find 00:04:51.819 --> 00:04:54.219 yourself sitting there thinking, man, I'm not there. 00:04:56.420 --> 00:05:01.219 It might be that one of the things that you really do need to address is that you have 00:05:01.219 --> 00:05:09.620 been going about the responsibility of being the husband in your home without knowing Christ. 00:05:10.159 --> 00:05:15.620 And as a result, when I lay out what it means to be a Christian husband, it's like, I'm not 00:05:15.620 --> 00:05:15.879 there. 00:05:16.019 --> 00:05:19.319 Well, if you don't know Christ, it's understandable that you can't go there. 00:05:19.319 --> 00:05:25.639 And the first need that you have is the work of God drawing you to the cross and you coming 00:05:25.639 --> 00:05:29.019 to Christ and finding complete forgiveness for all of your sins. 00:05:30.159 --> 00:05:35.319 But it might also be that you're sitting there as a believer and you are really still in your 00:05:35.319 --> 00:05:41.980 spiritual infancy and really moderately indifferent to the necessity of you having the help of God 00:05:41.980 --> 00:05:44.159 to do the things that He wants you to do. 00:05:44.160 --> 00:05:49.980 And so it's important for you to learn that to be the man that God wants you to be and 00:05:49.980 --> 00:05:54.540 to be the husband that He has called you to be is that you have to have the enabling of 00:05:54.540 --> 00:05:58.020 the Spirit of God that you might do the things God wants. 00:06:00.320 --> 00:06:05.420 It's interesting as we look at Ephesians chapter 5, and we actually could pick up there in verse 00:06:05.420 --> 00:06:12.400 25 and carry on through the end of the chapter that Paul takes quite a bit of time to talk 00:06:12.400 --> 00:06:17.140 about the role and the responsibility of the Christian husband. 00:06:18.640 --> 00:06:20.980 And being a godly husband is important. 00:06:22.160 --> 00:06:29.600 But at the same time, I do not want to suggest that really the greatest need we have today is 00:06:29.600 --> 00:06:30.780 that men be better husbands. 00:06:30.779 --> 00:06:37.479 You see, God does care about marriage, but that's not the very center issue of all of eternity. 00:06:38.500 --> 00:06:45.000 The central theme of Scripture is the cross of Christ whereby He turns rebels into joyful 00:06:45.000 --> 00:06:51.000 worshipers because He was willing to die in our place and His blood has satisfied the debt 00:06:51.000 --> 00:06:52.739 that my sin created. 00:06:54.519 --> 00:07:00.759 And God's intention is to turn us who were once rebels into joyful and obedient worshipers. 00:07:00.779 --> 00:07:09.679 And He intends for our lives and our relationships to reflect Christ and draw unbelievers to ask 00:07:09.679 --> 00:07:13.579 a reason, as it says in Peter, what is the deal with you? 00:07:13.719 --> 00:07:16.000 Why do you treat your wife differently? 00:07:16.339 --> 00:07:20.559 And why do you carry on and care for her the way you do? 00:07:20.560 --> 00:07:29.040 Now, I don't want you to miss that while we're going to spend our time thinking about the role 00:07:29.040 --> 00:07:36.220 and responsibility of a Christian husband, that Christ is at the very center of all that 00:07:36.220 --> 00:07:37.040 we are doing. 00:07:37.920 --> 00:07:42.660 In fact, if you want to kind of tag that and check it out, all you have to do is pick up 00:07:42.660 --> 00:07:50.140 there in verse 25 and kind of play through and notice how many times in this short passage 00:07:50.140 --> 00:07:57.140 the apostle reminds us that really the thinking he is addressing is Christocentric. 00:07:57.600 --> 00:07:59.400 Jesus is at the center of it. 00:08:00.740 --> 00:08:03.340 Well, let's pick up now, though, at verse 28. 00:08:03.560 --> 00:08:07.300 Let me read it, and then we'll address it together. 00:08:07.300 --> 00:08:13.639 In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. 00:08:13.819 --> 00:08:16.560 He who loves his wife loves himself. 00:08:18.400 --> 00:08:24.519 So I want to begin this morning by understanding that what the apostle is telling us is that 00:08:24.519 --> 00:08:33.060 we, in thinking in our marriage relationships, are to have this mindset that's like Christ's. 00:08:33.059 --> 00:08:38.519 And so I want you to think with me this morning about the principle of the one flesh and Christ's 00:08:38.519 --> 00:08:38.859 model. 00:08:40.000 --> 00:08:42.139 First, I want to stop and make a correction. 00:08:43.719 --> 00:08:49.819 You'll notice there that it says that in verse 28, husbands should love their wives as their 00:08:49.819 --> 00:08:50.439 own bodies. 00:08:50.799 --> 00:08:53.539 He who loves his wife loves himself. 00:08:55.019 --> 00:09:02.019 The argument that the apostle is making in verse 28 and 29 is really not in any way a tacit 00:09:02.019 --> 00:09:04.860 endorsement of self-serving love. 00:09:06.299 --> 00:09:12.559 Biblical love for a wife is not a strategy for you as a husband to get your way. 00:09:13.579 --> 00:09:15.139 How many of you understand what I just said? 00:09:16.159 --> 00:09:18.779 You do nice things, you get nice things. 00:09:18.840 --> 00:09:20.579 That's the thinking of the world, isn't that right? 00:09:21.019 --> 00:09:26.460 It's all about what kind of investment am I getting back on my, what kind of return am I 00:09:26.460 --> 00:09:27.620 getting back on my investment? 00:09:27.620 --> 00:09:34.840 I put this kind of effort in and so I have a right and an expectation to get something 00:09:34.840 --> 00:09:35.420 back. 00:09:37.400 --> 00:09:43.480 I want you to be sure of this, that the Spirit of God is not endorsing the idea that floats 00:09:43.480 --> 00:09:48.000 around in our culture of really all of our motivation ultimately being self-serving and 00:09:48.000 --> 00:09:52.639 the purpose for which we do things is really to get back what we want out of anything. 00:09:52.639 --> 00:10:02.539 I want you to follow and mark with me that what we're really dealing with here is not a plan 00:10:02.539 --> 00:10:11.460 for self-gratification but a plan for modeling our lives as husbands after the example and the 00:10:11.460 --> 00:10:12.500 character of Christ. 00:10:14.159 --> 00:10:21.120 Well, let's understand, however, that when Paul speaks about one flesh, he is not referring to 00:10:21.120 --> 00:10:21.820 a new idea. 00:10:23.820 --> 00:10:29.799 I want you to turn back in your Bibles just for a moment, go way back to the front, and 00:10:29.799 --> 00:10:34.700 incidentally, if you get it right at the beginning, you have a better chance of getting it right all the 00:10:34.700 --> 00:10:35.179 way through. 00:10:35.179 --> 00:10:38.159 So go back to Genesis chapter 2. 00:10:38.159 --> 00:10:51.919 When Paul, in Ephesians chapter 5, verse 28 and 29, speaks about one flesh, he's really 00:10:51.919 --> 00:10:58.539 drawing attention to the Old Testament statement that is made in Genesis chapter 2, verse 24. 00:10:58.759 --> 00:10:59.839 So let me read it to you. 00:10:59.840 --> 00:11:10.080 What's it say? 00:11:10.080 --> 00:11:12.740 One flesh. 00:11:13.860 --> 00:11:16.080 One flesh. 00:11:17.120 --> 00:11:26.660 I want you to understand that biblical love is all about taking care of what God has made part of you. 00:11:26.659 --> 00:11:38.199 When a husband takes care of his wife properly, he is taking care of someone that God has put in a unique 00:11:38.199 --> 00:11:44.719 relationship with you that is apart and is different from every other person in the world. 00:11:44.720 --> 00:11:50.100 I want you to look with me now at Matthew chapter 19. 00:11:52.100 --> 00:11:58.720 Matthew chapter 19, Jesus was approached by individuals who had some questions and they really hoped that they 00:11:58.720 --> 00:12:02.160 were going to catch Jesus in a dilemma. 00:12:06.379 --> 00:12:10.540 The Jews at that time had two different attitudes on the matter of divorce. 00:12:10.539 --> 00:12:14.839 One followed one school of thought and the other followed another school of thought. 00:12:15.299 --> 00:12:19.139 And one school was, hey, if you don't like her, trade her out, get somebody else. 00:12:20.719 --> 00:12:25.360 And so they came and they were challenging Jesus on the matter of marriage. 00:12:25.860 --> 00:12:29.019 And I want you to look at what Jesus says as he is responding. 00:12:29.559 --> 00:12:31.439 I like, I like, I like. 00:12:31.679 --> 00:12:32.980 Verse 4 to begin with. 00:12:33.839 --> 00:12:34.919 They ask him a question. 00:12:34.919 --> 00:12:39.679 They think, you know, there they are kind of rubbing their hands like, we have him. 00:12:40.439 --> 00:12:41.879 What's he going to say about divorce? 00:12:42.279 --> 00:12:46.159 If he takes the conservative view of, don't be doing that. 00:12:46.439 --> 00:12:48.059 He's not going to make everybody happy. 00:12:48.919 --> 00:12:50.740 And he's not going to be very popular. 00:12:51.659 --> 00:12:54.559 And if he says, sure, if you don't like it, bag her. 00:12:54.639 --> 00:12:55.399 Get somebody else. 00:12:55.599 --> 00:12:56.899 Well, then he's going to be violating. 00:12:57.000 --> 00:12:57.959 And they thought they had him. 00:12:57.960 --> 00:13:02.320 And I like the way Jesus addresses it. 00:13:02.379 --> 00:13:03.759 Look at verse 4. 00:13:04.440 --> 00:13:09.420 And he answered, have you not read? 00:13:10.519 --> 00:13:11.759 Now, who was he talking to? 00:13:13.519 --> 00:13:14.879 He was talking to the Pharisees. 00:13:15.620 --> 00:13:19.440 I mean, you know, they were the bells and whistles of education in that day. 00:13:19.519 --> 00:13:24.220 I want you to understand that he was talking to the people who had the advanced degrees 00:13:24.220 --> 00:13:25.780 and were all over top of it. 00:13:25.779 --> 00:13:30.519 And they had a very dismissive people attitude towards those who couldn't read. 00:13:31.500 --> 00:13:32.899 You mean, you can't read? 00:13:33.319 --> 00:13:36.600 And Jesus is saying, have you not read? 00:13:37.500 --> 00:13:40.319 Just to understand how well-versed they were in Scripture, 00:13:40.759 --> 00:13:45.740 how many of you notice that when Jesus recites a passage, he doesn't give the reference? 00:13:47.159 --> 00:13:48.259 Do you know why he does that? 00:13:49.779 --> 00:13:52.819 Here, let me, so that you understand, and you're there partly, 00:13:52.820 --> 00:13:55.820 for God so loved the world. 00:13:55.920 --> 00:13:56.800 How many of you know the reference? 00:13:56.900 --> 00:13:57.320 Wave at me. 00:13:57.420 --> 00:13:58.100 You know the reference. 00:13:58.900 --> 00:14:01.980 We got that one down, and it's settled in our mind. 00:14:02.300 --> 00:14:05.780 Jesus, all they knew, they knew the Bible backwards and forwards, 00:14:05.900 --> 00:14:07.340 and yet here he is, he's dinging them. 00:14:07.840 --> 00:14:11.000 It is like a backhanded slap to the Pharisees. 00:14:11.680 --> 00:14:13.020 Have you never read? 00:14:13.019 --> 00:14:16.259 And then he recites it. 00:14:16.259 --> 00:14:23.279 He who created them from the beginning made them male and female, 00:14:24.279 --> 00:14:28.259 and said, therefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother 00:14:28.259 --> 00:14:31.899 and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. 00:14:31.960 --> 00:14:34.360 So they are no longer two but one flesh. 00:14:34.659 --> 00:14:39.740 What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate. 00:14:39.740 --> 00:14:40.100 Great. 00:14:45.879 --> 00:14:52.340 You have heard me do weddings, and you know that I get emotional 00:14:52.340 --> 00:14:53.060 during weddings. 00:14:55.600 --> 00:14:56.220 I do. 00:14:58.080 --> 00:15:00.560 The first wedding I ever got emotional at was my own. 00:15:00.759 --> 00:15:03.799 Judith walked through the back doors, and I started crying. 00:15:03.879 --> 00:15:07.320 And here I was, Mr. Soccer and, you know, All-State player and blah, blah, blah. 00:15:07.320 --> 00:15:10.020 And here I was over at the front of the church. 00:15:11.140 --> 00:15:14.160 She thought, what have I gotten myself into? 00:15:15.860 --> 00:15:17.980 Well, I do want you to know that I followed through 00:15:17.980 --> 00:15:20.940 and have been her husband for 40, almost 44 years. 00:15:21.680 --> 00:15:25.240 But I am deeply affected by weddings. 00:15:26.320 --> 00:15:27.280 I really am. 00:15:27.279 --> 00:15:34.159 One of the things that I will say to a couple is that from this moment on, 00:15:34.899 --> 00:15:41.339 every thought and action must be weighed against its effect upon the union 00:15:41.339 --> 00:15:42.899 the two of you are making. 00:15:46.500 --> 00:15:51.100 It's an amazing thing that God takes two 00:15:51.100 --> 00:15:56.800 and actually makes them one. 00:16:00.639 --> 00:16:02.399 You know, as you think about this, 00:16:03.259 --> 00:16:05.460 God did something in your marriage 00:16:05.460 --> 00:16:07.920 that you may not have realized. 00:16:09.000 --> 00:16:12.980 But the fact of your ignorance of that fact 00:16:12.980 --> 00:16:16.100 doesn't change the eternal significance 00:16:16.100 --> 00:16:19.680 of the statement and authority of the Word of God. 00:16:19.980 --> 00:16:21.519 It says He makes two into one. 00:16:23.200 --> 00:16:25.300 And I have pondered this, 00:16:25.360 --> 00:16:28.600 though I cannot say that I speak with definitive authority on this, 00:16:28.659 --> 00:16:30.899 but I think that in marriage, 00:16:31.019 --> 00:16:32.779 there is an aspect to which 00:16:32.779 --> 00:16:36.460 the union of the triune God, 00:16:37.560 --> 00:16:39.040 Father, Son, and Holy Ghost 00:16:39.040 --> 00:16:40.720 in this beautiful union 00:16:40.720 --> 00:16:43.920 is modeled to some degree in marriage 00:16:43.920 --> 00:16:47.200 and certainly the union between Christ and the church 00:16:47.200 --> 00:16:48.700 is modeled in marriage. 00:16:49.899 --> 00:16:51.160 I love that statement 00:16:51.160 --> 00:16:52.860 and I would encourage you to have it 00:16:52.860 --> 00:16:54.560 woven into your heart and life, 00:16:54.940 --> 00:16:56.320 what God has joined together. 00:16:56.440 --> 00:16:57.060 What? What? 00:16:58.180 --> 00:16:59.259 Let no man. 00:16:59.860 --> 00:17:01.160 Don't you mess with that one. 00:17:02.139 --> 00:17:05.079 Well, let me say two things about this, 00:17:05.140 --> 00:17:07.339 going back to the passage in Ephesians in particular. 00:17:07.799 --> 00:17:09.360 Loving your wife is rational. 00:17:09.359 --> 00:17:11.779 It really is rational. 00:17:12.819 --> 00:17:14.479 It's intelligent because your wife 00:17:14.479 --> 00:17:16.719 is actually your own flesh and blood 00:17:16.719 --> 00:17:18.259 by divine appointment. 00:17:18.500 --> 00:17:22.339 It's a proper, intelligent thing to do. 00:17:23.799 --> 00:17:26.879 Furthermore, loving your wife is responsible. 00:17:27.539 --> 00:17:30.879 It's an obligation that God has placed on you 00:17:30.879 --> 00:17:32.699 as a husband in marriage. 00:17:32.879 --> 00:17:34.939 If you don't want it, then don't say, 00:17:35.159 --> 00:17:35.500 I do. 00:17:35.500 --> 00:17:39.680 But once you say, I do, it's done. 00:17:40.180 --> 00:17:43.160 God's expectation is that you will follow through 00:17:43.160 --> 00:17:45.839 and that you will love the wife 00:17:45.839 --> 00:17:47.960 that He has providentially given you. 00:17:49.319 --> 00:17:49.980 You know what? 00:17:50.299 --> 00:17:52.400 When a man does not love his wife, 00:17:53.299 --> 00:17:56.259 his real problem is not his wife. 00:17:56.259 --> 00:18:01.180 His real problem is that he has chosen 00:18:01.180 --> 00:18:05.759 to not love God and not honor God. 00:18:07.039 --> 00:18:08.879 Now, I want you to put your finger, if you will, 00:18:08.960 --> 00:18:10.559 going back to Ephesians chapter 5. 00:18:10.879 --> 00:18:13.299 Look at verse 29 and follow with me. 00:18:14.440 --> 00:18:16.720 For no one ever hated his flesh, 00:18:16.799 --> 00:18:18.579 but nourishes and cherishes it 00:18:18.579 --> 00:18:20.879 just as Christ does the church. 00:18:20.880 --> 00:18:23.920 Now, the practical thought here is that 00:18:23.920 --> 00:18:27.380 only a fool would not love and care for his own body. 00:18:27.440 --> 00:18:28.880 And we're not talking about, you know, 00:18:29.000 --> 00:18:30.160 Botox and the rest of it, 00:18:30.200 --> 00:18:31.540 but we are talking about the fact that 00:18:31.540 --> 00:18:34.260 we are reasonable with our own bodies. 00:18:36.000 --> 00:18:37.720 When it's cold, what do you do? 00:18:37.780 --> 00:18:39.320 I can talk about that right now. 00:18:39.580 --> 00:18:40.660 About six months from now, 00:18:40.720 --> 00:18:41.960 you'll all be fretting about the fact, 00:18:42.260 --> 00:18:43.140 isn't it really hot? 00:18:43.220 --> 00:18:44.220 We all talk about weather 00:18:44.220 --> 00:18:45.840 like it's the most important thing in life. 00:18:45.980 --> 00:18:46.300 You know, it's like, 00:18:46.680 --> 00:18:48.260 have you noticed it's snowing? 00:18:48.259 --> 00:18:48.779 Yes. 00:18:50.500 --> 00:18:51.259 Six months? 00:18:52.319 --> 00:18:53.379 It'll be dry. 00:18:53.579 --> 00:18:54.440 It'll be hot. 00:18:54.660 --> 00:18:56.460 And we'll all be whining about the fact, 00:18:56.839 --> 00:18:59.180 what is a thermometer, a temperature? 00:18:59.379 --> 00:19:00.940 Ooh, you know, and go on about that. 00:19:01.000 --> 00:19:01.960 But let me tell you something. 00:19:02.079 --> 00:19:04.680 We take care of our bodies, right? 00:19:05.759 --> 00:19:07.059 We do take care of our bodies. 00:19:07.160 --> 00:19:08.680 We put on more clothes or less clothes. 00:19:09.220 --> 00:19:11.579 We care for when you're hungry, what do you do? 00:19:12.539 --> 00:19:13.559 You feed yourself. 00:19:14.920 --> 00:19:16.839 By the way, the body you have 00:19:16.839 --> 00:19:17.879 is the body God gave you, 00:19:17.880 --> 00:19:19.160 and it's the only one you'll ever have. 00:19:19.180 --> 00:19:19.660 Am I right? 00:19:20.520 --> 00:19:21.840 You can't have a substitute. 00:19:22.560 --> 00:19:23.640 You can't have a replacement. 00:19:24.180 --> 00:19:25.220 And at the end of the day, 00:19:25.260 --> 00:19:26.900 you're pretty well stuck with the one you got. 00:19:27.840 --> 00:19:29.920 Now, you may find yourself on occasion 00:19:29.920 --> 00:19:32.460 wishing that God had done something better with you. 00:19:33.640 --> 00:19:37.780 Oh, Lord, I wish I had been Bill Gates, 00:19:37.820 --> 00:19:39.900 at least had his brain, right? 00:19:39.900 --> 00:19:47.060 Or, oh, Lord, I would have liked to have been built like LeBron James 00:19:47.060 --> 00:19:48.420 and have his basketball skills. 00:19:48.600 --> 00:19:51.600 Or, you know, I really would like to have the physique 00:19:51.600 --> 00:19:53.100 and the abilities of a Navy SEAL. 00:19:53.180 --> 00:19:53.700 Forget it. 00:19:53.759 --> 00:19:54.500 You are who you are. 00:19:54.500 --> 00:19:55.779 God chose that one. 00:19:55.779 --> 00:19:57.700 And you best stay with the one you got. 00:19:57.799 --> 00:19:58.819 There's no change. 00:20:00.940 --> 00:20:04.539 Aren't you glad that Christ loves you the way He does? 00:20:05.680 --> 00:20:06.660 I'm so glad, 00:20:07.220 --> 00:20:10.319 because He's never trundled into His Father's presence 00:20:10.319 --> 00:20:11.319 and said anything like, 00:20:11.619 --> 00:20:13.480 boy, do you know that Tim you gave me? 00:20:15.559 --> 00:20:16.680 Could I trade him in? 00:20:16.680 --> 00:20:20.880 Is there anybody out there that would be a little kinder, 00:20:21.460 --> 00:20:22.380 a little nicer, 00:20:23.240 --> 00:20:24.160 a little less, you know, 00:20:24.519 --> 00:20:25.960 He's such a project. 00:20:27.100 --> 00:20:29.460 65 years and I'm still having to work with Him. 00:20:29.720 --> 00:20:30.420 And you know what? 00:20:30.860 --> 00:20:35.140 Father, He still does some of the same things He did when He was a kid. 00:20:38.039 --> 00:20:38.900 He loves me. 00:20:39.660 --> 00:20:40.820 By the way, Seth, where are you? 00:20:41.039 --> 00:20:42.759 That is a good song. 00:20:42.980 --> 00:20:44.000 I like the words. 00:20:44.000 --> 00:20:46.720 By the way, I like Seth and Joy singing, 00:20:46.880 --> 00:20:48.000 but I like the words. 00:20:48.079 --> 00:20:48.640 It's all about, 00:20:49.000 --> 00:20:51.559 what's that saying about the God we serve? 00:20:52.539 --> 00:20:53.799 He's faithful in His love. 00:20:53.859 --> 00:20:54.559 Don't you like that? 00:20:55.319 --> 00:20:56.240 Never changes. 00:20:59.619 --> 00:21:03.420 And so when a Christian husband stands in the shadow of the cross, 00:21:04.680 --> 00:21:06.160 he loves his wife 00:21:06.160 --> 00:21:10.920 because she is His by divine plan. 00:21:10.920 --> 00:21:13.259 And God says, 00:21:13.640 --> 00:21:16.500 she is His own body. 00:21:18.380 --> 00:21:18.720 And so, 00:21:19.220 --> 00:21:21.060 I don't know if you have to do it right now, 00:21:21.140 --> 00:21:22.360 but it wouldn't be bad to nudge her. 00:21:22.460 --> 00:21:23.840 My Judas is way back there. 00:21:23.900 --> 00:21:24.220 Hi, honey. 00:21:24.920 --> 00:21:25.360 But you know, 00:21:25.720 --> 00:21:26.880 you nudge her and say, 00:21:26.960 --> 00:21:27.180 honey, 00:21:27.779 --> 00:21:28.340 you're mine. 00:21:29.140 --> 00:21:30.259 I mean to tell you, 00:21:30.840 --> 00:21:31.700 you're it. 00:21:32.340 --> 00:21:33.380 You're my body. 00:21:33.920 --> 00:21:34.100 Woo! 00:21:34.259 --> 00:21:34.920 I like that. 00:21:35.380 --> 00:21:36.720 Lots of thinking there going on, 00:21:36.779 --> 00:21:37.140 but you know, 00:21:37.180 --> 00:21:37.980 just stay with the plan. 00:21:37.980 --> 00:21:38.740 Okay? 00:21:42.839 --> 00:21:45.720 Maybe we have to have man-to-man talk about that a little while later. 00:21:48.720 --> 00:21:49.120 So, 00:21:49.360 --> 00:21:50.480 let's think now, 00:21:50.660 --> 00:21:52.059 we got this business of, 00:21:52.519 --> 00:21:54.680 it's one flesh. 00:21:54.920 --> 00:21:56.360 This is my body. 00:21:58.120 --> 00:22:01.400 I want to think about practical one flesh service. 00:22:01.480 --> 00:22:02.279 How does this play out? 00:22:02.279 --> 00:22:09.220 I want you to understand that the Bible has a number of different things that we can think about. 00:22:09.319 --> 00:22:09.619 For one, 00:22:09.720 --> 00:22:12.299 husbands are called to provide for their wife. 00:22:12.559 --> 00:22:13.599 Let me say that slowly, 00:22:13.680 --> 00:22:19.399 because we are living in a day and age where the idea of providing for your wife is kind of like slipping into the distant past. 00:22:19.619 --> 00:22:19.619 00:22:19.920 --> 00:22:20.119 you know, 00:22:20.160 --> 00:22:20.420 it's what, 00:22:20.480 --> 00:22:20.619 hey, 00:22:20.720 --> 00:22:20.899 you know, 00:22:20.940 --> 00:22:22.379 we're all into this on our own, 00:22:22.440 --> 00:22:24.180 and you better carry your own weight. 00:22:24.319 --> 00:22:25.319 And if you don't, 00:22:25.599 --> 00:22:26.119 you're in trouble. 00:22:26.119 --> 00:22:37.459 Genesis chapter 3 makes it clear that sin didn't change a man's service regarding being the principal provider of the home. 00:22:37.519 --> 00:22:38.500 How do I know that? 00:22:39.799 --> 00:22:41.339 God says to a woman, 00:22:41.659 --> 00:22:41.859 hey, 00:22:42.699 --> 00:22:52.119 part of the consequences of your disobedience to me is that you're going to struggle with your husband's spiritual leadership and headship. 00:22:52.119 --> 00:22:56.139 It's not just a problem of contemporary culture. 00:22:56.339 --> 00:22:58.019 It is the result of the fall. 00:23:00.199 --> 00:23:01.439 God also said, 00:23:01.579 --> 00:23:02.459 and by the way, 00:23:03.239 --> 00:23:05.119 you're going to suffer during childbearing. 00:23:05.819 --> 00:23:09.859 And there are more than one of you women who have said as you are sitting there going, 00:23:10.179 --> 00:23:11.539 you know, 00:23:11.679 --> 00:23:12.119 you said, 00:23:12.500 --> 00:23:12.819 Eve, 00:23:12.899 --> 00:23:14.019 what did you do? 00:23:14.319 --> 00:23:14.559 You know, 00:23:14.659 --> 00:23:16.239 you understand that. 00:23:16.240 --> 00:23:18.279 And God says to Adam, 00:23:18.660 --> 00:23:19.400 and by the way, 00:23:19.579 --> 00:23:21.240 while you're out there working in the field, 00:23:21.299 --> 00:23:24.240 it's not going to be quite as cooperative as it could have been. 00:23:24.620 --> 00:23:25.440 And you, 00:23:25.620 --> 00:23:26.559 in your provision, 00:23:27.759 --> 00:23:31.339 are going to face all those kind of difficulties that day by day, 00:23:31.400 --> 00:23:32.460 as you go off to work, 00:23:32.519 --> 00:23:33.000 you know what? 00:23:33.200 --> 00:23:35.880 You find out that the people that you work with, 00:23:36.980 --> 00:23:37.759 they're a challenge. 00:23:38.579 --> 00:23:40.099 And the place that you work, 00:23:40.400 --> 00:23:41.079 it's questionable. 00:23:41.079 --> 00:23:41.299 You know, 00:23:41.519 --> 00:23:43.079 it's just part of the fall. 00:23:43.400 --> 00:23:43.579 But, 00:23:43.880 --> 00:23:44.279 husbands, 00:23:45.160 --> 00:23:46.140 I want you to understand, 00:23:46.799 --> 00:23:49.259 providing is your responsibility. 00:23:49.420 --> 00:23:51.299 Let me say something else in relationship to this. 00:23:51.720 --> 00:23:54.339 Providing does not mean indulging every whim. 00:23:55.579 --> 00:23:56.299 Do you follow that? 00:23:56.940 --> 00:23:59.599 I remember being in a home quite some time ago, 00:23:59.700 --> 00:24:00.660 so some of you are beginning to, 00:24:00.700 --> 00:24:03.059 I don't think I've been in your home and seen, 00:24:03.299 --> 00:24:08.620 but I remember a home that had one case after another 00:24:08.620 --> 00:24:10.200 that were filled with precious moments. 00:24:10.900 --> 00:24:16.180 The house had become a monument to this wife's interest in precious moments. 00:24:16.240 --> 00:24:16.460 Now, 00:24:16.720 --> 00:24:19.079 I think we're past that in our contemporary culture. 00:24:19.180 --> 00:24:20.839 I don't see much out on Facebook, 00:24:21.019 --> 00:24:26.740 but there was not hardly a room in the house that didn't have these precious moment trophies. 00:24:27.099 --> 00:24:27.099 00:24:27.200 --> 00:24:28.480 and by the way, 00:24:28.799 --> 00:24:31.740 do you realize that they're kind of passe now? 00:24:31.740 --> 00:24:32.920 They're gone. 00:24:32.920 --> 00:24:33.220 They're gone. 00:24:34.299 --> 00:24:35.920 And you walked into one room, 00:24:36.019 --> 00:24:37.579 there are two or three display cases. 00:24:37.720 --> 00:24:38.920 You walked into another room, 00:24:39.279 --> 00:24:40.400 there are display cases. 00:24:40.519 --> 00:24:41.099 You walked into, 00:24:41.480 --> 00:24:41.660 you know, 00:24:41.680 --> 00:24:42.920 everywhere you turn. 00:24:43.259 --> 00:24:44.279 And I thought to myself, 00:24:44.279 --> 00:24:48.319 this poor working guy is out there just slogging his brains out 00:24:48.319 --> 00:24:50.619 so his wife can buy another precious moments. 00:24:53.839 --> 00:24:55.879 I want to say this real carefully, 00:24:55.880 --> 00:24:59.340 and I want husbands to write it down. 00:25:00.540 --> 00:25:02.880 Sometimes the real need is contentment, 00:25:03.740 --> 00:25:04.680 not more possessions. 00:25:07.100 --> 00:25:11.840 And a godly husband should love his wife enough to help her with that. 00:25:13.720 --> 00:25:15.700 Husbands are called to protect their wives. 00:25:17.480 --> 00:25:20.340 Physical protection is intuitively obvious. 00:25:20.439 --> 00:25:21.039 Do you follow that? 00:25:22.199 --> 00:25:22.939 Judith and I, 00:25:23.099 --> 00:25:24.439 we sleep in the same bedroom, 00:25:24.500 --> 00:25:25.399 we sleep in the same bed. 00:25:26.619 --> 00:25:30.019 And there are times where she hears things that I don't. 00:25:31.879 --> 00:25:33.240 And to this point, 00:25:33.480 --> 00:25:35.419 44 some years almost of marriage, 00:25:35.500 --> 00:25:36.199 she's never said, 00:25:36.279 --> 00:25:37.039 let me check on that. 00:25:42.159 --> 00:25:44.179 That's not the way it happens in our home. 00:25:45.799 --> 00:25:46.079 I mean, 00:25:46.139 --> 00:25:47.720 now she may alert me to the fact, 00:25:48.000 --> 00:25:48.599 did you hear that? 00:25:48.599 --> 00:25:49.279 No, 00:25:50.659 --> 00:25:50.899 no, 00:25:50.959 --> 00:25:51.259 I didn't. 00:25:51.639 --> 00:25:52.359 I did hear it, 00:25:52.379 --> 00:25:52.599 you know. 00:25:52.959 --> 00:25:53.419 But it's like, 00:25:53.639 --> 00:25:55.059 I'm hoping it'll pass. 00:25:58.199 --> 00:25:58.719 You know, 00:25:58.740 --> 00:26:01.179 there's a reason why God made you stronger. 00:26:02.439 --> 00:26:05.519 But I want to talk about the fact that our caring for our wife 00:26:05.519 --> 00:26:08.059 is not just a matter of physical protection, 00:26:08.159 --> 00:26:09.599 but it's also spiritual protection. 00:26:11.699 --> 00:26:13.939 We live in a wicked and perverse world. 00:26:15.059 --> 00:26:17.779 And a husband is responsible for knowing 00:26:17.779 --> 00:26:20.660 what the spiritual needs of his wife are 00:26:20.660 --> 00:26:25.839 and being sensitive to those things that are going to cause her to fall. 00:26:27.940 --> 00:26:30.240 Don't allow her to get overburdened. 00:26:30.839 --> 00:26:32.139 Over the years as a pastor, 00:26:32.319 --> 00:26:36.720 I can't tell you how many times I've said to hardworking ladies in our church, 00:26:36.720 --> 00:26:40.420 be sure you ask your husband what he thinks about you being involved in this. 00:26:41.360 --> 00:26:45.680 The easiest thing to do is to see a problem and decide that you need to solve this one, 00:26:45.720 --> 00:26:46.140 and this one, 00:26:46.200 --> 00:26:46.579 and this one, 00:26:46.620 --> 00:26:46.980 and this one, 00:26:47.019 --> 00:26:49.460 and pretty soon you get all kind of worn out. 00:26:49.759 --> 00:26:51.640 And guess what follows being worn out? 00:26:52.660 --> 00:26:55.860 Getting spiritually drained and then eventually getting embittered because, 00:26:56.160 --> 00:26:56.700 you know what? 00:26:57.519 --> 00:26:58.559 Nobody else is doing it. 00:26:58.600 --> 00:26:59.539 You feel like Chicken Little. 00:26:59.539 --> 00:27:02.559 Red hen is what I meant. 00:27:03.859 --> 00:27:08.460 Don't allow your wife to neglect the care of her own spiritual soul. 00:27:10.059 --> 00:27:10.319 You know, 00:27:10.659 --> 00:27:15.879 now I'm not suggesting that you grab your wife's wrist and drag her out of bed 00:27:15.879 --> 00:27:18.059 when you get up earlier than she does 00:27:18.059 --> 00:27:21.799 and take her into the living room and sit her down and say, 00:27:21.920 --> 00:27:23.879 you will have devotions this evening or this morning, 00:27:24.059 --> 00:27:25.619 and I want you to read three chapters, 00:27:25.819 --> 00:27:27.519 and here's a prayer list that I want you to work on. 00:27:27.519 --> 00:27:28.660 Not a good idea. 00:27:29.440 --> 00:27:29.859 Got it? 00:27:30.920 --> 00:27:32.819 Can I tell you something from experience? 00:27:33.339 --> 00:27:33.779 Experience? 00:27:34.519 --> 00:27:39.039 I've learned that modeling is far more effective than instructing. 00:27:40.220 --> 00:27:41.660 And Judith and I, 00:27:41.819 --> 00:27:42.519 we pray together, 00:27:42.680 --> 00:27:44.879 we share things that God is teaching us together, 00:27:45.440 --> 00:27:47.500 but in an earlier life, 00:27:47.559 --> 00:27:48.819 how many of you understand what I'm talking about? 00:27:48.900 --> 00:27:49.379 That's not, 00:27:49.680 --> 00:27:49.920 you know, 00:27:49.980 --> 00:27:50.519 whatever you think. 00:27:50.920 --> 00:27:52.599 It's at an earlier life, 00:27:52.660 --> 00:27:55.379 I thought it was my job to give her these instructions like, 00:27:55.680 --> 00:27:56.859 you will have devotions. 00:27:56.859 --> 00:27:57.959 What chapter did you read? 00:27:59.439 --> 00:28:02.439 I found that there was a much softer and gentler way to do it. 00:28:02.719 --> 00:28:03.919 But I'm responsible. 00:28:04.039 --> 00:28:04.819 Do you understand that? 00:28:07.919 --> 00:28:13.459 Don't allow your wife to spend all of her time 00:28:13.459 --> 00:28:19.519 just gazing at what she could conceivably buy on the internet 00:28:19.519 --> 00:28:21.940 if you were having a better job. 00:28:23.379 --> 00:28:24.180 Do you understand? 00:28:24.319 --> 00:28:25.160 Kill the Wi-Fi 00:28:25.160 --> 00:28:28.779 so that her discontentment is not breached. 00:28:28.859 --> 00:28:29.059 Oh, 00:28:29.240 --> 00:28:29.480 boy, 00:28:29.720 --> 00:28:30.879 am I getting myself in trouble? 00:28:30.980 --> 00:28:31.400 There we go. 00:28:31.519 --> 00:28:31.619 Okay. 00:28:32.079 --> 00:28:33.039 And how many, 00:28:33.559 --> 00:28:34.400 I won't ask this. 00:28:35.279 --> 00:28:36.700 When I go to doctor's office, 00:28:36.799 --> 00:28:38.839 there's one magazine in particular I don't pick up. 00:28:38.900 --> 00:28:39.740 Do you know what that is? 00:28:40.019 --> 00:28:41.259 It's called People Magazine. 00:28:41.259 --> 00:28:44.019 Do you know why I don't look at People Magazine? 00:28:44.960 --> 00:28:45.940 A couple reasons. 00:28:46.079 --> 00:28:46.519 Number one, 00:28:46.599 --> 00:28:49.000 I don't need to see all the scantily dressed women 00:28:49.000 --> 00:28:51.500 who are flashing what the current style is. 00:28:51.539 --> 00:28:52.619 That's not of God. 00:28:53.920 --> 00:28:56.639 Nor do I need to read all about the bad marriages 00:28:56.639 --> 00:28:59.579 and who happens to be sleeping with so-and-so currently 00:28:59.579 --> 00:29:00.539 and who she was. 00:29:00.539 --> 00:29:01.839 That's not of God. 00:29:04.440 --> 00:29:05.319 Here's another one. 00:29:05.980 --> 00:29:09.159 Don't allow your children to be disrespectful to your wife. 00:29:12.240 --> 00:29:13.480 I like the phrase, 00:29:13.799 --> 00:29:16.740 you will not talk to my wife that way. 00:29:16.839 --> 00:29:18.000 It's not about your mom. 00:29:18.079 --> 00:29:19.099 It's about my wife. 00:29:19.519 --> 00:29:20.180 Do you follow that? 00:29:20.180 --> 00:29:22.779 You will not talk to my wife that way. 00:29:23.220 --> 00:29:23.659 Okay. 00:29:23.899 --> 00:29:24.839 Let's keep moving quickly. 00:29:25.500 --> 00:29:26.279 Snow's coming down. 00:29:30.539 --> 00:29:32.599 We got guys out there taking care of it. 00:29:32.639 --> 00:29:33.240 I am so thankful. 00:29:33.299 --> 00:29:33.759 By the way, 00:29:34.159 --> 00:29:35.200 you don't have to tip them, 00:29:35.659 --> 00:29:37.039 but do tell them thank you. 00:29:37.079 --> 00:29:37.639 Will you do that? 00:29:39.559 --> 00:29:39.799 Okay. 00:29:40.759 --> 00:29:43.000 Husbands are called to pray for their wife. 00:29:44.920 --> 00:29:46.099 Your wife should know 00:29:46.099 --> 00:29:48.920 that she occupies an affectionate part 00:29:48.920 --> 00:29:50.379 of your daily prayer life. 00:29:51.839 --> 00:29:52.279 Honestly. 00:29:53.799 --> 00:29:56.559 We pray for those people that we dearly love. 00:29:56.599 --> 00:29:57.420 Am I right or wrong? 00:29:57.420 --> 00:29:57.460 No. 00:29:58.740 --> 00:30:01.140 Many of you here are parents. 00:30:01.940 --> 00:30:04.019 I see you guys smiling, 00:30:04.160 --> 00:30:04.740 Pat and Pam, 00:30:04.860 --> 00:30:06.940 your little grandson, right? 00:30:07.300 --> 00:30:08.900 Have you been praying a lot for him lately? 00:30:09.420 --> 00:30:09.600 I mean, 00:30:09.600 --> 00:30:11.200 I'm seeing Facebook posts all the time. 00:30:11.279 --> 00:30:11.500 It's like, 00:30:11.800 --> 00:30:12.240 you know what? 00:30:12.700 --> 00:30:13.820 When we love somebody, 00:30:13.900 --> 00:30:14.660 we pray a lot. 00:30:16.440 --> 00:30:17.620 And I'm suggesting 00:30:17.620 --> 00:30:18.800 that your responsibility, 00:30:19.180 --> 00:30:19.400 husband, 00:30:19.600 --> 00:30:21.320 is to be conscious and deliberate 00:30:21.320 --> 00:30:22.660 in praying for your wife. 00:30:22.980 --> 00:30:23.140 Now, 00:30:23.200 --> 00:30:23.820 by the way, 00:30:24.259 --> 00:30:25.259 praying for her 00:30:25.259 --> 00:30:27.700 requires that you love her 00:30:27.700 --> 00:30:28.740 and that you know 00:30:28.740 --> 00:30:29.799 what her needs are. 00:30:31.879 --> 00:30:34.500 And if your communications with her 00:30:34.500 --> 00:30:36.039 are kind of limited to grunts, 00:30:37.259 --> 00:30:41.859 she doesn't have any opportunity 00:30:41.859 --> 00:30:42.900 of really letting you know 00:30:42.900 --> 00:30:43.779 what's going on. 00:30:43.779 --> 00:30:47.539 Honey, 00:30:49.599 --> 00:30:51.460 what concerns you? 00:30:53.460 --> 00:30:54.000 By the way, 00:30:54.019 --> 00:30:54.859 if you take enough time, 00:30:54.920 --> 00:30:55.960 you will figure that one out. 00:30:57.480 --> 00:30:58.639 Ask her for specifics. 00:30:58.799 --> 00:31:00.180 What are some things I can pray for? 00:31:00.700 --> 00:31:01.160 Oh, nothing. 00:31:01.420 --> 00:31:02.180 Do you know when she says, 00:31:02.259 --> 00:31:02.599 oh, nothing, 00:31:02.680 --> 00:31:03.240 what it's saying? 00:31:03.319 --> 00:31:03.599 Probably. 00:31:04.000 --> 00:31:04.579 It's saying, 00:31:04.759 --> 00:31:05.920 I don't know that you'll do it, 00:31:05.940 --> 00:31:06.799 so why mess with it? 00:31:08.539 --> 00:31:08.859 Or, 00:31:09.119 --> 00:31:10.099 it could be saying, 00:31:10.319 --> 00:31:12.059 I'm really having a big time struggling. 00:31:12.059 --> 00:31:13.379 I don't want to embarrass myself 00:31:13.379 --> 00:31:13.980 by telling you 00:31:13.980 --> 00:31:15.319 what a jerk I am spiritually. 00:31:16.200 --> 00:31:17.399 What's going on? 00:31:17.460 --> 00:31:18.839 I learned a long time ago 00:31:18.839 --> 00:31:19.579 as a parent 00:31:19.579 --> 00:31:22.559 that whenever my children said nothing, 00:31:23.279 --> 00:31:25.139 it was radar up, 00:31:25.419 --> 00:31:26.500 big time signal, 00:31:26.940 --> 00:31:28.419 it's time to go 00:31:28.419 --> 00:31:30.240 on a fishing expedition. 00:31:31.679 --> 00:31:33.220 And my kids usually 00:31:33.220 --> 00:31:34.440 would stick with the nothing 00:31:34.440 --> 00:31:35.339 because they thought 00:31:35.339 --> 00:31:36.220 that was going to work. 00:31:36.740 --> 00:31:37.099 And I would, 00:31:37.559 --> 00:31:38.839 my trump was this, 00:31:39.139 --> 00:31:40.019 it's all right. 00:31:40.019 --> 00:31:42.279 I'm going to start praying 00:31:42.279 --> 00:31:43.460 that God will bring it out 00:31:43.460 --> 00:31:44.759 so I can be a daddy to you. 00:31:44.819 --> 00:31:44.920 You know, 00:31:44.980 --> 00:31:46.420 they did not like that prayer 00:31:46.420 --> 00:31:49.779 because God did. 00:31:50.799 --> 00:31:50.940 Okay? 00:31:51.119 --> 00:31:52.980 So you're praying for your wife. 00:31:53.740 --> 00:31:54.799 And if you're going to pray for her, 00:31:54.839 --> 00:31:55.480 guess what you ought to do? 00:31:55.619 --> 00:31:56.519 You ought to let her know, 00:31:56.940 --> 00:31:57.519 hey, how'd it go? 00:31:59.240 --> 00:32:00.680 How was grocery shopping today 00:32:00.680 --> 00:32:02.079 with, you know, 00:32:02.119 --> 00:32:02.680 the little boy 00:32:02.680 --> 00:32:04.319 that I helped you have? 00:32:04.799 --> 00:32:04.960 You know? 00:32:05.319 --> 00:32:06.400 Was he really cooperative? 00:32:07.059 --> 00:32:07.379 Okay. 00:32:07.799 --> 00:32:08.720 Okay, here we go. 00:32:08.720 --> 00:32:11.799 Husbands are called 00:32:11.799 --> 00:32:12.460 to nurture, 00:32:12.660 --> 00:32:13.660 listen to this carefully, 00:32:13.799 --> 00:32:15.440 the purity of their wife. 00:32:16.579 --> 00:32:17.660 Husbands are called 00:32:17.660 --> 00:32:18.339 to nurture 00:32:18.339 --> 00:32:19.819 the purity of their wife. 00:32:20.100 --> 00:32:21.980 We live in a perverse 00:32:21.980 --> 00:32:23.660 and wicked world 00:32:23.660 --> 00:32:25.680 that is not a friend of grace. 00:32:29.420 --> 00:32:30.440 You don't need to be 00:32:30.440 --> 00:32:33.059 the Ayatollah of the TV 00:32:33.059 --> 00:32:34.579 or of Facebook, 00:32:34.880 --> 00:32:36.299 but it does pay attention. 00:32:36.420 --> 00:32:36.880 It's a good thing 00:32:36.880 --> 00:32:37.460 to pay attention 00:32:37.460 --> 00:32:38.880 to what's floating around. 00:32:40.560 --> 00:32:41.020 Finally, 00:32:41.700 --> 00:32:43.140 husbands are responsible 00:32:43.140 --> 00:32:44.300 for their wife's 00:32:44.300 --> 00:32:46.000 spiritual progress. 00:32:47.160 --> 00:32:48.540 I want you to hear this carefully. 00:32:51.960 --> 00:32:53.380 The most difficult thing 00:32:53.380 --> 00:32:54.680 that a husband has to do 00:32:54.680 --> 00:32:56.180 is not provide physically 00:32:56.180 --> 00:32:56.920 for his wife. 00:32:56.920 --> 00:33:01.720 It is to be the spiritual leader 00:33:01.720 --> 00:33:02.420 of his wife 00:33:02.420 --> 00:33:04.160 because you know what it takes 00:33:04.160 --> 00:33:04.880 to do that? 00:33:05.759 --> 00:33:06.980 It takes, first of all, 00:33:07.039 --> 00:33:08.039 being out in front of her. 00:33:09.019 --> 00:33:09.560 Isn't that true? 00:33:10.519 --> 00:33:11.680 It also takes you 00:33:11.680 --> 00:33:12.700 taking care of the things 00:33:12.700 --> 00:33:13.340 in your life 00:33:13.340 --> 00:33:14.320 that are interfering 00:33:14.320 --> 00:33:15.380 with you being effective 00:33:15.380 --> 00:33:16.460 in her life. 00:33:17.460 --> 00:33:18.400 Matthew chapter 7 00:33:18.400 --> 00:33:18.960 says this, 00:33:19.039 --> 00:33:19.180 hey, 00:33:19.360 --> 00:33:20.480 if you're going to be poking 00:33:20.480 --> 00:33:21.660 in somebody else's eye, 00:33:21.940 --> 00:33:22.620 guess what you've got 00:33:22.620 --> 00:33:23.480 to be clear on? 00:33:23.480 --> 00:33:25.640 You've got to be clear 00:33:25.640 --> 00:33:26.299 on your own eye. 00:33:28.460 --> 00:33:29.180 And I want you 00:33:29.180 --> 00:33:29.759 to understand 00:33:29.759 --> 00:33:30.299 that the Scripture 00:33:30.299 --> 00:33:31.519 is explicitly clear 00:33:31.519 --> 00:33:32.259 that the husband 00:33:32.259 --> 00:33:33.160 is the one 00:33:33.160 --> 00:33:34.339 that is to be 00:33:34.339 --> 00:33:35.620 the spiritual leader 00:33:35.620 --> 00:33:37.519 and the spiritual encourager 00:33:37.519 --> 00:33:38.079 of his wife. 00:33:38.140 --> 00:33:39.120 Now, here's the truth, men. 00:33:39.200 --> 00:33:39.720 Face it. 00:33:41.059 --> 00:33:42.079 Most of the wives 00:33:42.079 --> 00:33:42.620 we married 00:33:42.620 --> 00:33:43.579 got a head start. 00:33:45.420 --> 00:33:46.299 Do you follow that? 00:33:47.759 --> 00:33:48.880 That doesn't change 00:33:48.880 --> 00:33:49.519 the fact 00:33:49.519 --> 00:33:51.259 that you're still responsible. 00:33:51.259 --> 00:33:53.240 And so, 00:33:53.379 --> 00:33:54.039 with humility, 00:33:54.299 --> 00:33:55.240 there's nothing wrong 00:33:55.240 --> 00:33:55.660 with saying, 00:33:55.920 --> 00:33:56.619 I'm out in front 00:33:56.619 --> 00:33:58.480 and I may have to ask 00:33:58.480 --> 00:33:59.420 a lot of questions 00:33:59.420 --> 00:34:00.799 of God and His Word 00:34:00.799 --> 00:34:02.319 and other godly men, 00:34:02.440 --> 00:34:03.379 but I'm out in front. 00:34:03.460 --> 00:34:04.279 That's my job. 00:34:05.720 --> 00:34:05.900 So, 00:34:06.279 --> 00:34:08.239 can you say 00:34:08.239 --> 00:34:09.360 that your dear wife 00:34:09.360 --> 00:34:11.000 today is more godly, 00:34:11.099 --> 00:34:11.679 more content, 00:34:11.820 --> 00:34:12.320 more settled, 00:34:12.440 --> 00:34:12.940 more generous, 00:34:13.079 --> 00:34:13.599 more patient 00:34:13.599 --> 00:34:15.199 because of your spiritual 00:34:15.199 --> 00:34:16.400 encouragement and leadership? 00:34:18.219 --> 00:34:19.119 Fair question, 00:34:19.159 --> 00:34:19.539 isn't it? 00:34:19.539 --> 00:34:22.800 The Spirit of God, 00:34:23.400 --> 00:34:24.179 the Word of God, 00:34:24.639 --> 00:34:25.579 the Husband of God 00:34:25.579 --> 00:34:26.679 should be instruments 00:34:26.679 --> 00:34:27.480 to help a wife 00:34:27.480 --> 00:34:28.360 grow spiritually. 00:34:28.840 --> 00:34:29.980 And all of God's people 00:34:29.980 --> 00:34:31.480 said a non-Caucasian, 00:34:31.519 --> 00:34:32.059 I like that, 00:34:32.119 --> 00:34:32.519 we're so free 00:34:32.519 --> 00:34:33.579 from Byron Yon, 00:34:33.779 --> 00:34:35.239 a non-Caucasian amen. 00:34:36.099 --> 00:34:36.500 Amen. 00:34:37.019 --> 00:34:37.279 Okay. 00:34:37.500 --> 00:34:37.599 Oh, 00:34:37.920 --> 00:34:38.719 that's surprising. 00:34:42.380 --> 00:34:43.500 Could we play that back? 00:34:43.539 --> 00:34:44.199 I just want to be sure 00:34:44.199 --> 00:34:45.099 that I heard what I did. 00:34:46.579 --> 00:34:47.019 Okay, 00:34:47.179 --> 00:34:47.659 here we go. 00:34:47.659 --> 00:34:49.039 Can you say 00:34:49.039 --> 00:34:49.920 that your dear wife 00:34:49.920 --> 00:34:50.679 is more godly, 00:34:50.759 --> 00:34:51.239 more content, 00:34:51.359 --> 00:34:51.839 more settled, 00:34:52.119 --> 00:34:52.659 more generous, 00:34:52.779 --> 00:34:53.299 more patient 00:34:53.299 --> 00:34:54.279 because of your 00:34:54.279 --> 00:34:55.259 spiritual encouragement 00:34:55.259 --> 00:34:56.159 and your leadership? 00:34:58.079 --> 00:34:59.139 Can you point 00:34:59.139 --> 00:34:59.940 to a time 00:34:59.940 --> 00:35:01.480 in your marriage 00:35:01.480 --> 00:35:03.639 where you helped her 00:35:03.639 --> 00:35:05.159 deal with a festering attitude 00:35:05.159 --> 00:35:07.259 or some resentments 00:35:07.259 --> 00:35:09.039 that were actually 00:35:09.039 --> 00:35:09.779 leading her 00:35:09.779 --> 00:35:10.639 to withdraw 00:35:10.639 --> 00:35:11.659 from ministry 00:35:11.659 --> 00:35:12.480 and service? 00:35:12.480 --> 00:35:14.740 Hey, 00:35:15.780 --> 00:35:16.880 men just kind of 00:35:16.880 --> 00:35:17.179 putt, 00:35:17.199 --> 00:35:17.360 putt, 00:35:17.440 --> 00:35:18.099 putt through life. 00:35:18.179 --> 00:35:18.599 You know what? 00:35:18.820 --> 00:35:19.380 I'm here. 00:35:19.619 --> 00:35:20.360 I'm going to work. 00:35:20.440 --> 00:35:20.920 It's good. 00:35:21.039 --> 00:35:21.699 It's all good. 00:35:21.960 --> 00:35:22.800 I'm getting along. 00:35:22.880 --> 00:35:23.760 It's like no big deal. 00:35:23.980 --> 00:35:25.119 And the wife is in there. 00:35:25.219 --> 00:35:26.599 She's affected by emotions 00:35:26.599 --> 00:35:27.320 and dynamics. 00:35:27.679 --> 00:35:28.860 And you know what? 00:35:29.519 --> 00:35:30.380 I can't tell you 00:35:30.380 --> 00:35:32.219 how many times 00:35:32.219 --> 00:35:33.139 I've watched wives 00:35:33.139 --> 00:35:34.099 begin to develop 00:35:34.099 --> 00:35:35.420 inner resentments 00:35:35.420 --> 00:35:36.039 about things 00:35:36.039 --> 00:35:36.780 and slowly begin. 00:35:36.860 --> 00:35:37.740 You know what the signal is? 00:35:37.820 --> 00:35:38.280 Drawn away. 00:35:38.280 --> 00:35:43.019 Can you think of ways 00:35:43.019 --> 00:35:43.680 in which you have 00:35:43.680 --> 00:35:44.740 shaped her thinking 00:35:44.740 --> 00:35:45.700 about Christ 00:35:45.700 --> 00:35:46.300 and the kingdom? 00:35:48.720 --> 00:35:50.240 Has her discernment 00:35:50.240 --> 00:35:51.019 and wisdom 00:35:51.019 --> 00:35:52.940 increased over the years 00:35:52.940 --> 00:35:54.200 because of your influence 00:35:54.200 --> 00:35:55.160 and your ministry? 00:35:57.220 --> 00:35:58.160 Does she know 00:35:58.160 --> 00:35:59.320 you really believe in her 00:35:59.320 --> 00:36:01.140 and take pleasure 00:36:01.140 --> 00:36:01.880 in her growth 00:36:01.880 --> 00:36:04.060 and value, 00:36:04.160 --> 00:36:04.780 let me say this 00:36:04.780 --> 00:36:05.760 carefully and slowly 00:36:05.760 --> 00:36:06.180 and I want you 00:36:06.180 --> 00:36:07.019 to listen to it, men, 00:36:07.019 --> 00:36:10.579 and value her progress 00:36:10.579 --> 00:36:12.739 as one of the true 00:36:12.739 --> 00:36:14.000 accomplishments 00:36:14.000 --> 00:36:15.659 in your life? 00:36:17.179 --> 00:36:17.300 Hmm? 00:36:20.219 --> 00:36:22.019 So what did you do, Tim? 00:36:26.280 --> 00:36:27.679 That was really important. 00:36:30.579 --> 00:36:31.639 Well, one of the things 00:36:31.639 --> 00:36:32.980 I did is I worked hard 00:36:32.980 --> 00:36:36.760 after God really dealt 00:36:36.760 --> 00:36:37.300 with me 00:36:37.300 --> 00:36:39.119 at being a better husband 00:36:39.119 --> 00:36:42.599 and I'm continuing 00:36:42.599 --> 00:36:43.460 to grow at that 00:36:43.460 --> 00:36:46.679 and I'm working hard 00:36:46.679 --> 00:36:47.579 at being a good daddy. 00:36:49.800 --> 00:36:50.820 I have a dear friend 00:36:50.820 --> 00:36:51.119 who, 00:36:52.840 --> 00:36:53.519 guys, 00:36:53.820 --> 00:36:54.519 let me tell you something, 00:36:55.119 --> 00:36:56.199 it's snowing out there 00:36:56.199 --> 00:36:57.199 and I have a couple 00:36:57.199 --> 00:36:57.880 things to say 00:36:57.880 --> 00:36:58.840 so just bear with me 00:36:58.840 --> 00:36:59.860 and nobody say to me 00:36:59.860 --> 00:37:00.780 you stayed too long. 00:37:00.780 --> 00:37:04.040 I had a dear friend 00:37:04.040 --> 00:37:04.760 that I called 00:37:04.760 --> 00:37:06.080 Thursday, 00:37:06.380 --> 00:37:06.700 Friday. 00:37:07.980 --> 00:37:08.840 No, it's Thursday. 00:37:09.900 --> 00:37:11.240 He's out of ministry today 00:37:11.240 --> 00:37:14.340 and when I got on the phone 00:37:14.340 --> 00:37:15.460 with this man 00:37:15.460 --> 00:37:15.920 that I've known 00:37:15.920 --> 00:37:16.720 for a number of years, 00:37:16.960 --> 00:37:18.180 good godly man, 00:37:18.960 --> 00:37:19.660 he said to me, 00:37:19.720 --> 00:37:19.860 he says, 00:37:19.940 --> 00:37:20.380 you know, Tim, 00:37:20.519 --> 00:37:21.660 I found myself 00:37:21.660 --> 00:37:23.360 at the same kind 00:37:23.360 --> 00:37:24.820 of emotional place 00:37:24.820 --> 00:37:25.880 that you must have been 00:37:25.880 --> 00:37:27.340 at when Maranatha 00:37:27.340 --> 00:37:29.440 gave you a sabbatical. 00:37:30.740 --> 00:37:31.320 That was one of the 00:37:31.320 --> 00:37:32.000 kindest things 00:37:32.000 --> 00:37:32.579 you did to me, 00:37:32.640 --> 00:37:32.820 men, 00:37:33.680 --> 00:37:34.000 people. 00:37:34.880 --> 00:37:36.000 You let me have 00:37:36.000 --> 00:37:36.660 an opportunity 00:37:36.660 --> 00:37:38.320 to get my battery 00:37:38.320 --> 00:37:38.980 back up 00:37:38.980 --> 00:37:41.000 and this pastor said, 00:37:41.380 --> 00:37:43.019 we couldn't work 00:37:43.019 --> 00:37:43.680 that out 00:37:43.680 --> 00:37:46.740 and my doctor said, 00:37:46.820 --> 00:37:47.600 you either do it, 00:37:48.680 --> 00:37:49.640 get out of this 00:37:49.640 --> 00:37:50.920 or you're going to die. 00:37:50.920 --> 00:37:53.519 He said, 00:37:53.619 --> 00:37:54.360 and I chose 00:37:54.360 --> 00:37:55.240 to be a husband 00:37:55.240 --> 00:37:57.099 and a father 00:37:57.099 --> 00:37:58.920 instead of a pastor. 00:38:00.880 --> 00:38:01.960 That's a right call. 00:38:02.039 --> 00:38:02.680 Do you understand that? 00:38:04.599 --> 00:38:05.700 That's a right call. 00:38:07.700 --> 00:38:09.039 When it's all over, 00:38:11.280 --> 00:38:12.280 being the man 00:38:12.280 --> 00:38:13.619 God wants you to be 00:38:13.619 --> 00:38:14.820 means being 00:38:14.820 --> 00:38:16.079 the spiritual leader 00:38:16.079 --> 00:38:17.500 in your home. 00:38:17.500 --> 00:38:17.559 Amen. 00:38:20.920 --> 00:38:23.659 And facing 00:38:23.659 --> 00:38:24.880 that challenge 00:38:24.880 --> 00:38:26.980 has to have 00:38:26.980 --> 00:38:27.980 a profound effect 00:38:27.980 --> 00:38:28.740 upon a man 00:38:28.740 --> 00:38:30.960 because like 00:38:30.960 --> 00:38:31.980 the apostle said 00:38:31.980 --> 00:38:32.639 when he was thinking 00:38:32.639 --> 00:38:33.480 about the significance 00:38:33.480 --> 00:38:34.220 of the gospel, 00:38:34.599 --> 00:38:35.380 here's what he said, 00:38:35.760 --> 00:38:36.920 who is sufficient 00:38:36.920 --> 00:38:38.099 for this? 00:38:40.079 --> 00:38:41.159 I want to talk 00:38:41.159 --> 00:38:41.920 about sufficiency 00:38:41.920 --> 00:38:43.500 as I close. 00:38:44.599 --> 00:38:45.579 The man 00:38:45.579 --> 00:38:46.260 who has not 00:38:46.260 --> 00:38:47.059 come to Christ 00:38:47.059 --> 00:38:47.680 this morning 00:38:47.680 --> 00:38:48.659 who is sitting here 00:38:48.659 --> 00:38:49.780 listening to the teaching 00:38:49.780 --> 00:38:50.659 of the word of God 00:38:50.659 --> 00:38:52.159 about the responsibility 00:38:52.159 --> 00:38:53.799 of being a true man 00:38:53.799 --> 00:38:56.539 has no hope 00:38:56.539 --> 00:38:57.399 and no remedy 00:38:57.399 --> 00:38:58.799 apart from the cross 00:38:58.799 --> 00:38:59.299 of Christ 00:38:59.299 --> 00:39:00.339 because here's the deal. 00:39:00.839 --> 00:39:01.139 We, 00:39:01.519 --> 00:39:02.599 by our nature, 00:39:02.920 --> 00:39:03.779 are perverted, 00:39:04.039 --> 00:39:04.719 wicked sinners 00:39:04.719 --> 00:39:05.839 who are only 00:39:05.839 --> 00:39:06.639 all about 00:39:06.639 --> 00:39:08.179 our self. 00:39:10.019 --> 00:39:11.039 And the gospel 00:39:11.039 --> 00:39:11.500 announced 00:39:11.500 --> 00:39:12.179 that we stand 00:39:12.179 --> 00:39:12.960 justly condemned 00:39:12.960 --> 00:39:13.779 before God. 00:39:15.139 --> 00:39:16.119 And God sent 00:39:16.119 --> 00:39:16.480 his son, 00:39:16.559 --> 00:39:17.440 the Lord Jesus Christ, 00:39:17.480 --> 00:39:18.139 to be the penalty 00:39:18.139 --> 00:39:19.019 and to pay 00:39:19.019 --> 00:39:19.940 for our sins 00:39:19.940 --> 00:39:20.800 that we 00:39:20.800 --> 00:39:21.820 who are broken 00:39:21.820 --> 00:39:23.400 in our rebellion 00:39:23.400 --> 00:39:24.079 against God 00:39:24.079 --> 00:39:25.019 may find complete 00:39:25.019 --> 00:39:25.480 forgiveness 00:39:25.480 --> 00:39:26.599 because Jesus 00:39:26.599 --> 00:39:27.619 died in our place. 00:39:29.699 --> 00:39:30.699 And if you're here 00:39:30.699 --> 00:39:31.739 and do not know Christ, 00:39:31.960 --> 00:39:32.820 the thing you need 00:39:32.820 --> 00:39:34.019 more than anything else 00:39:34.019 --> 00:39:35.440 is not further coaching 00:39:35.440 --> 00:39:36.639 on how to be a better husband. 00:39:36.900 --> 00:39:37.800 You need Jesus. 00:39:37.800 --> 00:39:41.080 If you are here 00:39:41.080 --> 00:39:42.500 as a man 00:39:42.500 --> 00:39:44.200 who knows Christ, 00:39:45.019 --> 00:39:47.000 there is no way 00:39:47.000 --> 00:39:47.960 you can grow 00:39:47.960 --> 00:39:49.260 without humility 00:39:49.260 --> 00:39:50.360 and brokenness. 00:39:51.340 --> 00:39:51.620 Hey, 00:39:52.140 --> 00:39:53.240 I need help. 00:39:53.900 --> 00:39:55.360 I need God's help. 00:39:55.800 --> 00:39:56.800 I need the help 00:39:56.800 --> 00:39:58.420 of men of God. 00:39:58.700 --> 00:40:00.120 I need encouragement 00:40:00.120 --> 00:40:01.539 and I am willing 00:40:01.539 --> 00:40:02.600 to humble myself 00:40:02.600 --> 00:40:03.519 enough to say 00:40:03.519 --> 00:40:04.780 I've got a mess 00:40:04.780 --> 00:40:06.180 and I need God 00:40:06.179 --> 00:40:07.759 to help me change it. 00:40:09.980 --> 00:40:10.980 Here's what I know. 00:40:13.480 --> 00:40:14.000 Men 00:40:14.000 --> 00:40:15.819 who are unwilling 00:40:15.819 --> 00:40:17.079 to humble themselves 00:40:17.079 --> 00:40:20.119 are at odds 00:40:20.119 --> 00:40:21.000 with a God 00:40:21.000 --> 00:40:21.980 who will reveal 00:40:21.980 --> 00:40:23.440 their stupid pride. 00:40:24.219 --> 00:40:25.079 I know that 00:40:25.079 --> 00:40:26.299 by personal experience. 00:40:27.659 --> 00:40:28.519 And I know 00:40:28.519 --> 00:40:29.179 that when God 00:40:29.179 --> 00:40:30.179 gets a hold of you, 00:40:30.759 --> 00:40:31.519 it's good 00:40:31.519 --> 00:40:32.460 on the other side. 00:40:33.460 --> 00:40:34.299 Do you follow that? 00:40:34.300 --> 00:40:36.680 Let's close in prayer. 00:40:36.680 --> 00:40:36.740 Let's close in prayer.