A lot of new faces.
So if this is your first time, welcome to Watermark.
If this is your 100th time, welcome.
My name is Tobin, and I'm one of the pastors here.
If you're joining us for the first time, we have been looking at the book of 1 Peter.
1 Peter was written by Peter to Christians,
Christians who were churches that were probably 20 to 30 years old.
They were growing, they were vibrant, but there was a problem.
There was a problem, and it was that there was persecution coming along very quickly and rapidly,
and the Christians didn't know how to act in a world that was hostile to them.
Peter's been telling us all along, and we've been looking at it throughout this passage,
that when we come to Christ, if you're a Christ follower here,
that Christ's Spirit comes inside of you, and He enters into you, the Holy Spirit,
the third person of the Trinity, He enters into you, and He starts to change us.
He changes us. He changes the way we think.
He changes the way we speak. He changes the way we act.
He changes our values. He changes the way we dress.
Some people, the change happens really quickly.
It's like you've seen people who are addicted to something, and all of a sudden, boom,
they're no longer addicted.
But then for some people, the change happens slower,
and God has different lessons to teach them,
and different things to build into their life.
And so He's working with each one of us as His children in a journey,
and each one of these journeys looks different.
We get in trouble when we start to compare our journeys with each other
because God sees us as different people.
We're different talents and vessels that have His image stamped on us.
Last week, He started using different words about us.
You remember when we talked about it last week.
If you weren't here, go back and listen to the passage.
He says that He started calling us things like a royal priesthood,
and the idea was the priest was the Latin actually means a bridge builder,
that we're bridge builders.
We're here to build bridges between the world that doesn't know Christ
and our community and our family.
So we're called something different.
We're called a holy nation.
It's holy that we're set apart,
and we talked about how our passports are in heaven
and not in Hong Kong or America or Texas or wherever you're from.
We talked about that we are these living stones,
that we're these living stones,
and life has been put into us by the living stone, Jesus.
And we used an illustration.
We talked about how Christ says that He's just His foundation.
He's this cornerstone, this precious thing,
and that all of us fit onto this foundation.
This might be just our life,
and then Jesus is in our life,
and my life is fitting here,
and Christ is teaching me,
and He's ordering things and orienting things,
and I'm learning things.
But He says also that these rolling stones come together,
and they lay on top of this foundation together,
and they start to build this thing called a church.
That's one of my prayers as a pastor often,
and it's probably the most difficult prayer,
is to try to pray that the holy stones will stop being rolling stones,
and they'll come together,
and they'll build this church,
this vessel of God's glory and His honor.
And we said that when we began this church,
that several of us prayed,
and we thought,
well, what does it look like to be a holy nation,
and a royal priesthood,
and different stones, living stones.
And we said that we felt like God was calling us within this congregation
to do a couple things.
We said that we would have to pray,
and we mentioned it last week,
that we're all called to pray.
Someone came up to me afterwards and said,
I mean, this isn't the venue that we always have,
and no, you know,
we don't know where we're going to meet almost every week.
We find out about a month ahead,
and we start scrambling,
and this is the venue we want to meet in every time,
but sometimes we don't get to meet this in here
because there's lawyers in here,
or a banquet in here,
or something like that,
and then we get put up on the 7th floor,
and the 6th floor,
and the 4th floor,
or ISF,
and all those are great places to meet,
and we're so thankful for those places,
but we're not choosing,
hey, let's go on the 7th floor today,
because I know some people really hate the 7th floor,
and they don't like it,
but we're just praying and saying,
God, where do you want us,
and we want to be here,
and we need places for kids to meet,
and so every Sunday is an adventure for the staff,
and so we, as a family,
need to be praying about those things,
and thinking about those things.
We said that every one of us needs to serve.
You can't see that,
but serve,
that we're called to serve.
Every Sunday,
there's 20 to 50 people that serve in here,
and do different things,
and Sunday school teachers,
and teaching,
and leading,
and worship,
and we feel like if we don't all do it together,
then it's not,
it's not going to work,
and so we feel like it's part of being this living stone,
is that we come together,
and we're all called to serve.
If you serve one Sunday a month,
in some capacity,
that's amazing,
and we usually do it within our community groups here,
at Watermark.
We're called to tithe,
tithe,
we talk about tithing,
and giving,
and we talk about what does that look like,
and you know,
we don't pass a tithe here.
If you're new here,
you're going to see these little purple envelopes,
and there's little boxes here,
but it was a step of faith for us,
the 40 people who started.
We said,
hey,
we want to bring our friends to a place
where they're not always passing money buckets around,
because it freaks them out,
but we're going to talk about money,
because we feel like it's one of the greatest hindrances
to people in Hong Kong,
money,
and education,
and power,
and lust.
Well,
we're going to talk about all those things,
but we don't pass an offering around,
because we didn't want your guests to feel uncomfortable,
but it means that those in the family need to give,
and help us with the outreaches,
and the cost of the venue,
and all these things that are involved in being a church family,
and building this building,
and when we talked about,
the last thing we said we were called to do as a holy people
is to invest and invite,
that we're all called to invest in people's lives,
and invite people into the community group,
and invite people into church,
and there are people that you're going to meet today,
and tomorrow,
and at work,
I'll never get a chance to meet.
In fact,
the minute I meet them,
and I say,
you know,
I'm a pastor,
they're like,
you know,
shut up,
and they don't,
you know,
they usually say other things,
but you,
you get a chance to just talk about it,
and live a life that's different,
and that's what Peter's talking about,
he's talking about living a life that's different,
a life apart from words,
and we talked last week that we all need to do this,
as a family,
that if one block doesn't fit in,
then the Lego house that we built here was,
would have holes in it,
and it wouldn't function the way that God meant for it to function,
and then we'd be in trouble,
we wouldn't be the church that God wants us to be,
because we need everybody,
we need you to come and to serve if you're in God's family,
we don't want you just to come and be a spectator,
and that's what happens in churches a lot,
right,
sometimes churches have like a football match,
there's 22 people playing in the front,
and there's 80,000 people watching,
but we believe that for you to serve,
and to do all these things,
it will actually make you a better you,
it's a step of faith,
and trusting the Lord,
and then we come to this passage this week,
and we're looking at it,
and I know some of you are laughing,
I mean some of you,
the minute you heard the word submit,
you just shut your mouth,
and said there's nothing I'm going to listen to here,
there's nothing I can learn from here,
and some of you are laughing at me,
because you're like,
oh Tobin,
he just opened this hand grenade,
and he's holding this hand grenade there,
and he's going to blow himself up,
and let's see how long it takes him to blow himself up,
with the word submit,
maybe he'll get the pin in,
but he's probably going to blow himself up,
you know,
because it's just a different,
it's the S word,
you know,
in Christianity,
and in the world today,
no one wants to talk about submitting,
or what that looks like,
or submission,
it's crazy,
but you know,
Paul,
he talks about that,
he's been talking about that,
but it's,
it's scary,
you know,
I used to work in a hospital,
I studied medicine,
and I did trauma unit,
which was my love,
and then,
I can remember,
I was working in,
in a cardiac care unit one day,
and with the doctors,
and just kind of interning,
and watching things,
and this guy came in,
and he was probably my age,
you know,
a young 50,
and,
but he had had his massive heart attack,
and he,
I had a heart attack 10 years ago,
mine was about medium,
and his was really bad,
and he was frail,
and he was not doing good,
and his wife came in all dressed,
and she was,
she looked beautiful,
and she walked in,
and they walked into the doctor's office,
and the first thing the doctor said to him was,
can you step out,
I need to talk to your wife alone,
and so he,
he's kind of concerned,
so he got up,
and he,
he stepped out,
and the doctor and the wife were talking,
and the doctor looked at him,
and said,
your husband's in really bad shape,
I mean,
any kind of stress,
any kind of things that can agitate him,
it will,
it will kill him,
and she's just taking notes,
and listening,
and she's just so meek,
and so,
and just wants to help her husband,
right,
and she's taking,
he goes,
so you just need to remove all stress from his life,
you can't have any stress in his life,
so when he comes home,
there can't be any kind of stress,
or things like that,
and you don't need to talk about stress,
you need to talk to the kids,
about being quiet in the house,
because at this point,
it's very delicate,
and it could kill him,
and I mean,
it would be really bad,
stress is bad,
and she's like,
you're taking notes,
and she goes,
you need to,
you need to cook him his favorite foods,
you need to cook things that he likes,
and because sometimes,
eating meals can make you upset,
and digesting,
and things like that,
and so you need to cook his really,
really food,
and go,
okay,
thank you doctor,
and she goes,
and you need to dress nicely,
you need to present yourself,
so whenever your husband comes to the front door,
you,
you greet him,
and you smile,
and you,
you look the best,
that you've ever looked,
and you're just beautiful,
because that would just relieve stress,
as he walks in,
and he was like,
sanctuary,
a place of home,
it's peace,
I'm okay,
and she's taking these notes down,
and he goes,
you know,
one other thing is,
you need to have sex with him,
because sex has been known to be this thing,
that relieves a lot of tension,
and stress,
and so you,
you need to,
you need as a wife,
to have sex with your husband,
and in fact,
you need to have sex whenever he wants it,
you just need to write,
you know,
whenever he wants to have sex,
whenever he engages with you,
you just have sex,
because that's going to take away all the tension,
and all the pressure,
and all the stress,
and so that's,
that's what you need to do,
and she said,
thank you doctor,
okay,
I'll write it down,
and then she writes it down,
and he goes,
I'm going to bring your husband in,
and you guys can talk about this,
and so he walks,
and he opens the door,
and the guy,
he comes shuffling in,
he sits down,
and he sits to his wife,
because he's just thinking,
you know,
and he says,
what did the doctor say?
and she says,
you know,
honey,
I love you,
but you're going to die,
you get it?
Come on,
but that's what submission is like,
right,
that's why it's so hard,
and so we want to look at,
it's a joke,
okay,
some of you are like,
what?
I worked in a trauma unit,
but not in a cardiac unit,
but no,
but I think that's why it's just so difficult,
but what we want to do today,
in our time that we have,
is I just want to look at submission,
or what it means to submit,
I want to look at a little definition of it,
I want to look at some examples of what it is,
and what it isn't in our world today,
because I feel like we have all these things bombarding us,
and this is what it means,
this is what it doesn't mean,
this is what it means,
so we want to look at that definition,
what it is or what it isn't,
and then how do we do it,
how do we come about it,
and you realize right away,
that when Paul,
and Peter is talking about it,
he's been talking about it throughout the whole book,
he's been talking about it,
about how we deal with our governments,
he's been talking about it,
with how we deal with our bosses,
he's been talking about it,
how we deal with our relationship with God,
he's been talking about,
how we deal with our relationship with each,
Other. And now he talks about how we deal with it in marriage. And what scripture does, and I don't
know if you realize this, is that when God writes the Bible, he puts these institutions that are
over us. Some people call them umbrellas to protect us, but they're these structures, these institutions.
And there's the institution of God in our relationship with him. There's the institution
of government or the king. There's the institution of the family. There's the institution of the
church. There's the institution of work. And all of these institutions are put in us, and he talks
about them in his word. And what he says in his word is that within every one of these institutions,
there's a structure. And within a structure, there's authority. And there's those who have authority,
and there's those who are under authority. He says whatever structure you're in, you're either
reporting to somebody or you have authority over somebody. And it's really important to listen to
this, because the scripture says that authority, the word, is always used in the meaning of to
protect and bless. When somebody has authority over somebody, whether it's the king, God, family,
husband, church, or work, whoever has the authority over it, the meaning of it within scripture was
to protect and to be a blessing. Authority was never meant to benefit the person who has authority.
In scripture, you'll never see that. That's not how God prescribes that. He always says that authority
is over us to protect us and to make us thrive. And that's the number one responsibility for those
who have that authority. But what scripture says is that sin came in, and it broke up all of these
relationships. Our relationship with God, our relationship with the government, our relationship
with the church, our relationship with each other, our relationship with work, our relationship with
the family. And it broke up all these authority structures. And so now people don't know what to do and how
to live within these things. And so Peter is teaching you and me, he's saying as Christians now, we need to go
back to the way it was before. That when God's spirit comes into us, God's spirit changes us. The word submit,
it's a military term. It actually means to stay in rank. That's what the Greek word means. It means just
to get put in rank. But the Bible, it doesn't use it that way. The Bible uses the word submit as an
attitude of our heart, an attitude of our mind. It says that submission is a choice. It's just something
that we willingly yield to the one in authority. That we do it, we yield to the one in authority,
whoever that is within the structure, God, government, church, family, husband, work. We yield to those
people in authority because we want to honor God. Does that make sense? The word actually means that,
it actually means, I don't like using a lot of Greek words sometimes because, yeah. But anyway,
I can barely speak English sometimes. So, but it means to be ordered in God's will.
So that when we're called to submit, it means that we are to follow God's will. We're to follow God's
order within the structures that he set up for us. And the Bible never talks about submission as weakness.
In fact, it uses God and Jesus often in submitting. Do you know that we're the only faith in the world
that has a God who submitted? You know, no other faith, no other religion, no other belief system
would even think about having a God who submits to people underneath him. But the passage says that Jesus,
who is God, submitted to us so that he might bring us to a new place.
The idea behind submission biblically is always to bless, to protect, to make better off. And the idea
is always strength and it's always voluntary. Does that make sense? Now, the world tells us a lot of
different things, doesn't it? I mean, the world says different things, but the Bible says this is what
we are to do is God's people because we have a God who did it for us. When you read scripture, what you
see right away is when God set up these structures, what he said is that unless we submit within these
structures, unless we give in and follow out of obedience to what he said, these structures won't
work. There's not going to be harmony between us and God. There's not going to be harmony between us
and our government and king. There's not going to be harmony between us and our boss. There's not
going to be harmony between us and our wives or our husbands. I mean, we talk a lot in our churches
about serving, but what we hardly ever talk about is submitting and submission. But in the language at the
core of serving is this idea of submitting and submission. You can't truly serve another person
unless you submit to them and you submit to them. The scripture tells us in two books in the very front
of the Old Testament. We're going to study them one day, probably in our fifth or sixth year.
In Isaiah 14 and Ezekiel 28, it says, at one time there was an angel. He was the most beautiful angel.
His words in Hebrew and Greek actually means he was a covering angel. He covered the throne of God.
He's the most perfect creation. In Ezekiel 28 and Isaiah 14, it says that this angel, Satan,
was kicked out of heaven because he didn't want to submit. He didn't want to submit. He didn't want to
obey God. And then we read in the first book of the Bible, Genesis, this same angel, this demon,
he comes into creation, into these structures, and he enters right into the relationship of man and God
and husband and wife. And what he does is he uses the same thing that he used on himself.
He talks to Adam and Eve about looking out after their own interest.
He talks to Adam and Eve about disobeying God and not submitting to him because if you submit to him,
then you're not going to get everything that you want.
And they listened. And those structures became fractured.
I mean, you see it again in the Matthew and Mark and Luke. We spent three years going through Luke.
And all throughout Luke, you see that Satan, this perfect angel who's fallen now, he comes to Jesus.
And how does he tempt Jesus?
He tempts him the same way in the authority structures.
And he tempts Jesus not to submit to God.
He tempts Jesus not to obey God.
He tempts Jesus to be independent of God.
And the scripture says over and over and over that at the center of all of our relationships,
at the center of all that God has created,
there's this core sense of us working together,
thinking the best of each other,
sacrificing for each other,
loving each other,
submitting to each other,
that this thing is at the center of it.
And Jesus talked about it all the time in the Gospels, right?
He said, hey, just don't,
it's not enough just to believe me.
He says, believe me and follow me.
Follow, that word means to submit.
It means to take our interest and put them below the interest of the person that we're helping or serving or following.
Does that make sense?
Now, this is a foundation.
I know I'm going to,
this is the hand grenade.
I'm trying to hold on to it,
but eventually I'm going to let it go.
The good thing about letting it go is when it blows up and people get angry,
I'm here.
You can write me in emails.
You can write the elders' emails.
We're happy to get together with you.
We want to discuss God's word
because we want to be a healthy church.
We want to be a healthy family.
We want to be a healthy community.
We want to be an amazing, healthy city, Hong Kong.
So the grenade's going to blow up.
Some of you, it's already blown up and you got shrapnel everywhere,
but I'm not leaving.
So you can email me.
You can get angry with me.
You can get angry with the elders,
but let's talk about it.
But what I hope you're dealing with is not me.
I hope you're dealing with God.
Because if you come to church every Sunday
and there's nothing that ever bothers you in here,
that's bad.
Because God's words and his commandments and the laws,
they are hard sometimes.
And Jesus calls us to struggle.
And I think this is one of the areas that I struggle with so much,
and it is so hard.
You know, the world says that submission has to be limited.
The world says limit your submission
and make it all about authority.
Only submit to those people who can beat you up.
Only submit to those people who can get you what you need.
I mean, we tend to think of submission as this.
It's Tobin, and there's people above me,
and there's people below me.
People above me, I submit to.
They have authority to me, so I obey them.
People below me, they listen to me.
But my goal in life,
my goal in life is to take those people from the top
and put them where?
Come on.
It's church.
You can talk.
Where?
I want to put them underneath me, right?
I mean, to be successful in every area of life,
whether it's my finances or the stuff I have
or the house I have
or the kids that go to school,
my goal is always to take these people who are above me
to put them below me.
And the more people that are below me than above me,
that ratio determines how successful I am.
And that's the struggle we have all the time.
The disciples had that problem, didn't they?
I mean, over and over, Jesus was saying,
what are you guys talking about?
They're talking about who's the greatest in the kingdom.
They wanted to put people that were above them below them
and people who were below them above them,
and they wanted to put themselves above.
But what the Bible says
and what Peter's been trying to tell us
throughout these passages is that submission is broad.
Submission is to our peers,
and it's to those not in authority over us.
Submission is in God's kingdom.
I mean, in God's kingdom, we've been reading,
and it says the greatest person in God's kingdom
is the person who serves everyone.
The greatest person in God's kingdom
is the person who serves everyone.
And when he says that, he's thinking of Jesus, right?
And he's thinking of us.
He said, hey, Tobin,
don't just place your interest before others,
but seek other person's glory.
Seek other people's benefit.
The world's going to tell you this,
but the Bible says this.
I mean, the world says that submission
should only be observed
if your best interest is at heart, right?
Doesn't it?
I mean, the world says that if someone is watching,
you submit.
Right?
I mean, we have radar detectors in our cars,
some of us,
because we want to see if somebody's watching.
If they're watching,
we slow down.
I mean, we're at work,
and we want to make sure that our boss is there
when we get in there,
or before we get in there,
and we want to make sure our boss leaves,
you know,
way before we leave,
because we realize that there's this idea of submitting,
and if somebody's watching,
then we do it.
But if not, no.
I mean, many of us in here, right,
you're working crazy hours.
You're working unhealthy hours.
You're working insane hours.
You're working for this big paycheck or a bonus.
I mean, we,
the world tells us,
if you submit,
you won't experience pain.
You won't experience suffering.
I mean, most of our lives,
as people in the world,
we're trying to get rid of pain and suffering,
aren't we?
If I submit to my boss,
I'm not going to have the pain of losing my job.
If I submit to this person,
then I'm not going to experience suffering.
If I submit to my husband,
or I submit to my wife,
then my life will be easier,
because I'm not going to have all this suffering.
I mean, that's what the world says.
See, the pin is flying off right now,
and the hand grenade's about to blow up.
But, you know,
but what the Bible says is that our submission is,
is motivated by faith.
The Bible says our submission is motivated by hope.
The Bible says our submission is motivated by love.
I mean, the Bible says that as Christians,
when we submit,
submit that we actually often move towards suffering.
We actually often move towards pain.
We actually often do things that make us very uncomfortable
and very difficult.
The world says,
no, get away from those things,
but what Scripture says is,
we're following Christ.
Christ is throwing himself on the hand grenade.
So we, as Christians,
are called to move towards self-sacrifice.
We're actually called towards to move pain,
and you know what the hard thing about being a Christian is sometimes?
Paul says this.
He says,
sometimes you're going to do those things,
and you're never going to receive your reward here.
I mean, most of us do things so we can receive our reward here and now.
But Paul says if we follow God,
that the benefit of that,
we might not ever even receive that until we get to heaven.
For some of us who like the gospel sexy,
I come to Christ, everything's perfect,
I get a Rolex,
I get a beautiful wife,
everything works out.
We don't like to hear those things.
But Paul's saying this is what happens in the real world.
Can I share one more?
Is that okay?
Can I share one?
These are all personal.
These are all me, okay?
This is Tobin.
I'm sharing you.
Okay, one thing,
and then I'm going to bring a special speaker up here
who's much wiser than I am.
This is what I've been learning.
In Tobin's world,
the idea of submission often involves complex sets of rules
and regulations in gray areas.
In Tobin's world,
submission has to be centered around rules
and what's enough and what's not enough
and what should I do and what shouldn't I do
and all these regulations.
Is it like that in your world?
I mean, when you read the Old Testament,
it's full of it, right?
The people of God,
they were given 12 commandments,
but how many rules did they end up with?
Hundreds.
Hundreds of rules.
Why?
Well, what you see eventually is that the people,
they didn't really love God.
They didn't really want to submit to God.
And so they set up all these different rules
to see how close they could get to doing things
so that it wasn't comfortable enough for them.
We do that, don't we?
I mean,
my kids are,
are my kids in here?
They're not in here.
My kids are playing.
Kip's here.
I won't use your name this time, buddy.
But my kids are playing.
And all of a sudden I hear a scream
and I walk in there
and I say,
what happened?
Well,
so-and-so hit me.
Okay.
So that's what I usually do.
I usually find blames.
Christina's really going,
oh,
so tell me what happened here.
But I walk in there like,
okay,
let's deal with it right away.
So what happened?
So-and-so hit me.
Oh,
did you hit them?
No.
So what did you do?
I flicked them.
Okay.
No hitting,
no flicking.
Have fun
and be nice to each other.
It's about 20 minutes later, right?
People start freaking out and screaming.
And I walk in there and go,
what happened?
Did you hit somebody?
No.
Did you flick somebody?
No.
I bumped them.
But we laugh, right?
But we do that too,
don't we?
Don't we do that?
I mean,
the command is there
and we look at it
and we go,
oh,
but you know,
what if I just did this instead?
What does it mean to serve?
Or what does it mean to give?
Or what does it really mean
to pray for people?
What does it really mean
to be a part of a church?
I mean,
I'm doing a sliver of that thing, right?
That's okay, right?
In Tobin's world,
the laws multiply
and they flourish
when there's no inward submission
in my heart.
If my heart isn't after the Lord,
if my heart isn't to love my life,
if my heart isn't to be a good
wherever God's placed me,
then I set up all these rules
and these gradations
so that I can feel good about myself.
Am I just talking to myself?
We all flick,
hit,
push,
tug,
because we don't want to obey.
We don't want to submit.
And so Peter comes to this passage today
and he talks about
this next relationship
and it's husband and wife.
He talks about how wives and husbands
should interact,
but he's been talking about it all along
within the government
and within the work.
He's been talking about
how we're different.
And so what I thought I would do
is I would drop the grenade
on my marriage.
And so I've asked
probably the wisest person
that I know,
my wife Christina,
to come up
and I want to ask her
some questions about this passage.
So Christina,
will you come up here?
Okay.
How are you doing?
Are you worried?
Okay.
So we haven't actually
talked about this a lot.
We looked at the passages
and things like that.
Christina and I have been married
for 17 years now, right?
And we have four kids, right?
And Christina was heavily involved
in ministry.
What you don't know
is she's an amazing discipler.
Okay, you don't have to say all that.
She's probably just as gifted as I am.
Or more.
You think you have a pastor
in the church,
but you really have two people
working for the church, right?
That's the way we see it.
We're a package deal.
So Christina,
when you look at this passage for...
Does that mean I have to get up here
every time you ask me?
Okay.
So if we look at 1 Peter 2 and 3,
1 through 9,
maybe just the question
we thought about was,
what in your life,
how have you come to think
about this idea of concept
of marriage
and submission within marriage?
Okay.
Well, first off,
I have to say that
when Tobin asked me
to come up here,
I didn't want to.
So this is definitely
you're seeing submission in action.
But we just got back
from the summary
and I asked him
about his sermon series
and he was like,
okay, we're going to talk about stuff
and I want you to come up.
And I said,
oh no,
you know,
just trying to settle in,
get the kids in school.
I really don't want to have to,
you know,
think about something like that.
And he goes,
but it's the subject submission.
Oh, okay, great, lovely.
So yeah, so I'm here.
So I grew up in a family
that actually did live by this concept.
And so I did see this role model to me.
And I remember actually very clearly
my grandmother talking to me
about one time.
She, her husband,
and she would travel around the world actually.
And back then,
that was quite extravagant
and people didn't do,
didn't travel around the world
back in my grandparents' day very often.
And so,
but my grandfather really liked to do this.
And so my grandmother was,
I guess this particular time was like,
you know,
I don't see the purpose in it.
Why do we have to go on another,
you know, holiday?
It's a holiday.
It's, you'd think you'd be excited,
but there's,
why do we have to do this?
And she said,
but you know,
every time I followed my husband
and every time
the Lord,
I'd be along the way
and I'd talk to somebody
and this specific time
they went to Europe or something.
And she said,
and I talked to somebody,
you know,
along the way
and I was able to share my faith with them.
And it was such an encouraging time.
And so the Lord always,
you know,
it always gave me a purpose in it.
And so that was kind of what I saw
growing up
with my family.
But also,
I did struggle with this concept
when it came to husband and wife relationships
because just what we learn in society,
you know,
that it's a superior versus inferior thing,
which is what I've come to believe
is not what the Bible is saying,
but our world says that.
And I think that as I talk with women,
my friends,
our study groups that we do together,
you know,
we always push back
when we hear that
because we think of,
you know,
Confucianism says that
that submission is,
there's a superior and an inferior,
right?
And so it wasn't until
I was shown 1 Corinthians 3,
11, 3,
that I really learned to accept this more
and realize that it's God's order of things.
It's a structure.
It doesn't have anything to do about equality.
And that made me be able to relax
and open up and go,
okay,
maybe I can listen to this more
and see what God has to say
if it's not about equality.
Do you want to read that passage?
It's in the bulletin.
Oh,
okay.
So it talks,
it says that,
that Jesus Christ
submits to God the Father
and that man submits to Jesus Christ
and that woman submits to man.
So where it starts to rub me wrong,
I was like,
wow,
well,
is Jesus equal to God the Father?
Yes.
The Bible talks about the Trinity
and so,
and how they're equal.
They are all God,
right?
Three parts.
But Jesus submitted to God the Father,
so they're equal.
It doesn't have anything to do with superiority
or inferiority.
So then,
wow,
if Jesus submitted to God,
perhaps I can submit to my husband.
And the verse that we're talking about says,
you know,
submitting to your husband.
And I just want to make clear
that the Bible does not say
submitting to your boyfriend
or all men,
right?
Like some cultures say,
actually,
right?
So the biblical way
is only your husband.
And so I do actually think
that's important
because sometimes we think the other.
So anyways,
I think that in light of this,
that submission is not
an ignorance,
right?
That I walk around in ignorance
or ignorant to the situation,
any situation.
It does not mean
that I'm subservient
to my husband.
It does not mean
that I have to be silent
when my husband sins.
I need to admonish him
and love him in Christ
as a brother.
It does not give me,
this is not an excuse
for abuse
in families,
right?
If you
feel threatened
in any way
for your safety,
this is not an excuse
for that to go on.
You need to ask for help
from others,
right?
So that's not what
he's talking about.
But if it is
an average unkindness
within the family
or a lack of love,
God says that he
is going to be the one
to judge them.
And so it's not my place.
I don't have to be the one
to take revenge
or to fight back.
But you never had that happen
in our family at all.
Never, ever.
I'll just wait.
You just wait.
It's very risky
for him to ask me up here.
Maybe he won't do it again.
How about that?
So it's not our place
of revenge,
but what the verse says
that we're talking about,
it's an opportunity
for us to show
God's love
and grace
to our husbands
as a witness,
right?
For them,
to them.
As a witness
to win them
over to Christ
or as a witness
to draw them
closer to Christ.
So I've come to see
that this is a choice
that God has given
to us as wives.
It's not a commandment
from my husband,
which I'm very happy about.
And in Colossians 3, 23,
it says that I'm not even
really submitting
to my husband.
I'm submitting ultimately
to God.
Don't tell him that
because I think he likes it
when he thinks
I'm yielding to him.
No, I'm yielding to God,
really.
You know,
and if you think about it,
that means
that my loving him
or yielding my own desires
is actually not based
on his performance,
right?
And so if it's not based
on his performance,
then when I'm obeying
my Lord
and I'm following God
and I'm trusting
and caring
that he's going
to take care of me,
I don't have to worry
about my own self,
that I'm following him.
And this can actually
save marriages.
I think I've seen it
save marriages
when women are willing
to lay their life down
for their husband.
Also, in Ephesians 4,
it says that God calls us
to be humble,
gentle, patient,
bearing one another's burdens
in love.
And I grew up
going to a summer camp
where we had a motto
that we went around
cheering,
chanting all day
and it's called
the I'm Third model
and it's where
God is first,
others are second,
and myself third.
So that became
my motto in life.
Not that I'm very good at it,
but you know.
So the next question
will be when we talked
about it,
it's like what are
some of the hardships
or benefits
that maybe you've,
probably no hardships
in our marriage,
but the benefits
are huge.
So what are the benefits
that you've experienced
in our lives
as you've lived out
this principle?
I know I'm just,
boom, boom, boom.
You're having a lot of fun,
right?
Yeah, yeah.
Well, really I don't know
why I'm up here
because I'm not very good
at this thing
called submission anyway,
so I don't know.
I do remember
the first time
in our marriage
when we just got married
when I did submit
for the first time.
I remember it very clearly
maybe because,
you know,
I had to,
it was the first time
I actually did it.
And we were moving
to China
and we,
I had,
Tobin had given me
this ring
to get,
as an engagement ring
and our marriage ring
and he said,
well,
there's,
uninsurable in China,
so I don't want you
to take it with you.
I had,
you know,
and I'm like,
wait a minute.
I just waited 30 years
for this ring.
And it might seem silly now,
but I was like,
and my grandmother,
you know,
my grandmother has,
her stone is in this ring
and I'm never,
ever going to take it off.
So,
you know,
nobody's ever going to steal it.
I don't think it needs
to be insured anyway
and so it's really
not a big deal
and,
you know,
I want to take,
I want to take this ring.
This is very symbolic for me.
And then at the end of the day,
you know,
he said,
I really don't think you should,
I don't want you to risk it.
I don't want you to take it.
So I remember
that was the first time
I put it in the safety deposit box
and I didn't see it again
for another five years.
And it was very sad,
but I did it
and I don't know
that there were necessarily
any benefits
that came out of it for me.
Except for the fact that,
you know,
it's the first time
I totally remembered
having to not get my way,
right?
So,
but other things like,
even silly things like,
you know,
going on a date night
and we go to dinner.
And, you know,
we've had major blot arguments
over where we're going to dinner.
And if I only would have just,
you know,
said,
oh,
I think about the other person
instead of me,
it wouldn't have been such a,
you know,
ruined our whole evening,
right?
Tobin loves Western food
and I like Chinese food.
That's,
that's the,
that's our issue.
And then,
when we,
we started doing
these Israel trips,
just trying to give you
a few examples of,
of our life.
We started doing
these Israel trips
when we take tour groups
over to see the Holy Land
and my children,
when we started doing it,
my children were quite young.
They were babies.
And so,
when he first asked me,
he said,
let's do this together.
I don't want to do this
without you.
Let's do it together.
And I said,
any mom in their right mind
would not leave
their one-year-old child.
I was nursing.
The last time I,
the last time I nursed my child
was the day before
we went on this trip,
you know,
to go,
you know,
and do this,
you know.
And,
but I said,
okay,
I'm going to follow my husband
and it has been
an amazing adventure.
I was able to go
and walk in the footsteps
of Jesus,
you know,
and learn a ton.
And my children,
I think,
are still okay.
And,
yes,
even God asks me
to yield
and serve my husband
in sex,
which he's very happy about.
Okay.
So,
whether it's seemingly
a small thing
or a large thing
that we are giving up
our,
yielding our own desires to,
I don't want,
I don't,
don't let anybody
convince you
that it is easy
to submit,
right,
or to serve another
before yourself
because it's or not,
right?
Because we all have
stubborn self-wills,
right?
But this is the beauty of it.
I think that's,
this is the beauty of it
is that only through
Jesus Christ
can we have the ability
to obey the Lord.
That he gives us that.
He gives us this,
he doesn't leave us alone
to do it on our own.
He gives us the Lord.
He gives us the fruits
of the Holy Spirit.
He gives us his spirit.
And even when we don't,
you know,
obey God,
he forgives us.
Right?
And he seems to always
have future opportunities
for me
to follow him
in this way.
I have a few,
just a few more things.
One thing.
For me,
I pray a lot.
I pray
for our relationship
and I pray
for Tobin
as he leads our family.
I pray,
I ask God
to help yield myself
to him,
to Christ,
and to trust,
that I can trust
and care for him.
I read these verses
a lot,
actually.
I did a whole study once
on the role of men
and women,
which was fascinating.
I remember that,
I try to remember
why I'm doing this.
I'm doing this
because it is
to win over my husband
to Christ
or closer to Christ.
And he says,
in these verses,
he says,
it actually makes me
beautiful in his eyes
when I follow God's ways.
And as a woman,
I do desire
to be beautiful
and to be precious
to God.
So that's some
of my motivation.
I hope it encourages you.
That's the only reason
I really got up here
was to hopefully
encourage other women
and love my husband.
Thank you, Hannah.
You're going to be
excited.
So the third question
I was going to ask
is when we first
saw each other,
you were checking me out.
I just want to know
what was it
that drew you to me,
right?
Teasing.
You know,
the passage
is talking
to all of us.
We talk about it
and it makes a big deal
within marriage,
but Peter's been saying
it's within all
our relationships.
It's for married people,
it's for wives,
it's for husbands,
it's for single people.
All the citizens
of God's kingdom
are called
to submit
and to
seek the other person's
glory
and betterness
than our own.
I don't know
how you feel.
I mean, again,
this is a grenade,
it's going off,
and we're thinking
about these things.
You're thinking in yourself,
okay, what does this mean
for me at work?
Maybe some of you
are thinking,
what does this really mean
for me in my dating relationship
or with the other singles
I hang out with?
What does that mean?
What does it mean
for me at school?
I'm a student,
and I'm submitting.
Am I submitting
just so my teachers
see me do things
and they think,
wow, he's a great student,
or is my heart behind it
and I'm really trying
to honor God
as God's child?
What does it mean
in church
when I'm doing things?
Am I doing things
because people are watching me
or is it because
I'm doing it
for the Lord
so that I'll be beautiful
in his sight?
There's a lot of things
we need to unpack here,
and hopefully as you go out
and we meet in community groups
this week,
we'll be talking about
some of these things
and thinking about these things,
but the last thing
the passage says
is this,
because these things,
if you go out
and you try to do it
on your own,
you're going to fail
every time.
And what he talks about
in 1 Peter 2
verses 21 through 25
is how this all
is possible in our life.
And what he says is this,
that you and I
on our own
are dead,
we can't do anything.
But Christ came
and he submitted
on a cross.
He submitted himself
to God's will,
he put us
above himself.
This is God, right?
This is,
if you think about
the hierarchy structure,
God puts himself
above us
and he dies for us
on the cross
so that we then
can come back
into this relationship
that we're broken
but now they're fixed.
And what he says
is the only way
that we can do this
as a church family,
the only way
we can even hope
to do this
as husbands and wives
and single people,
the only way
we can hope to do this
is by continually
coming to the Lord
that's inside of us
and praying to him
and reading his word
and submitting our lives
and confessing
we may do it wrong
because we're not up here
saying we do it right
even 50% of the time.
We struggle all the time.
But what we know
is that God's spirit
inside of us
is continually empowering us
and continually giving us
choices that we never had before.
And the choice now
is am I going to submit
and do what I know
is best for Christina
or am I going to stay selfish
and do what is best
for Tobin?
When I got married
I had a terrible time
with marriage
because I thought marriage
was just like the rest
of single guyhood.
We all have uniforms.
The goal is to make sure
your uniform wins
and the other uniforms lose.
But what I didn't realize
in marriage
is that your husband
and your wife
you have the same uniform.
And if your wife loses
you lose.
But what the passage
is saying here
is as God's children
that all of us
have the same uniform.
And if we try to win
then the body of Christ loses.
And the people around us lose.
And the only way
we're going to win
is by continually submitting
to Christ
and the power within us.
He says a very interesting
word there
and there's two phrases
I want you to think about
as you leave.
He says Christ gave us
a pattern.
It's a very interesting
Greek word.
It actually means a tracing.
What it means is this
that Christ traced his life
on his piece of paper.
And every day
you and I have a choice
to lay our life
piece of paper
on top of this paper
and start to trace our life
over what Christ did.
Christ left us a tracing.
Now some of us
aren't in the family yet
and we're tracing
dollar signs
or we're tracing
power
or we're chasing
Citibank
or whatever we think
is going to bring us
hope and satisfaction
and meaning.
But the passage says here
that Christ left us
this tracing,
this pattern
and now as his people
we have a choice
because his spirit
inside of us
gives us the power
to do that.
He says that Christ
walked these footsteps.
The imagery is very strong
in the language.
What it means is
this dad walked on this beach
and the little kid
is walking behind the dad
in the dad's footprints.
And what Peter is saying
is as we walk
with God together,
as the spirit
changes our lives,
we start to take
our footprints
and we start to take
our patterns
and we start to pattern
them after Christ.
We start walking
in his footsteps.
But every day
is a choice.
You and I
have a choice.
Are we going
to submit
and follow the God,
the creator
of our soul?
Or are we going
to trace our lives
after something else?
It's interesting to me,
Peter wrote this passage
to people who were
very, very mature Christians.
They've been walking
with God 20 and 30 years
and he still comes back
to the same thing
every time.
he comes back
to the cross.
He comes back
to Jesus' sacrifice
for life.
And what I understand
as a pastor
is that that's what
all of our life
is about.
Understanding the cross,
how it impacts
our work,
how we interact
with our government,
how we interact
with our family,
how we interact
with our colleagues,
how we interact
with other singles,
understanding grace
and the power
of God's spirit
within us.
we can give you
50 things to do
when you leave here
but all that's going
to do is make
your performance better.
It's going to be
those laws,
Tobin's laws,
prolific.
But what we're talking
about is our heart.
And the choice is
are we going to let God
change our heart
or are we going
to keep the heart
the same way it is?
It's step by step.
I fail, fail, fail, fail.
Okay, God does something.
Fail, fail, fail.
Okay, God does something.
But when I realize
that God is taking
us on a journey
and the question is
do we want to go with him?
Does that make sense?
Always comes back
to the cross.
Always comes back
to what Jesus did.
Always comes back
to a choice.
Are we going to use
that power,
allow that power
to change us?
Or are we going
to follow
in somebody else's
footsteps?
Father, we thank you
for this day.
We thank you
for your word
that is living
and active.
This is true today
as it was
2,000 years ago
as Peter shared it
to all these churches
that were about
to struggle
with persecution
and death
and difficulties
as your people.
Father, I pray
for us in here.
I know that there
are many of us
in here right now
that we are
copying,
drawing,
tracing
something else
besides you.
We have our hope
in the job.
We have our hope
in Hong Kong.
We have our hope
in our body.
We have our hope
in our ability
to think
and be clear
and outthink
and outtalk
other people.
We have our hope
in all these things
and we're tracing
this life.
But if we were honest
and looked
at the end picture,
we'd realize
that there's very,
very little hope
there.
So I pray
for those of us
in here
who are tracing
something different
and haven't yet
entered into the family.
I pray that they
would ask questions.
They would seek
the people that brought them.
I pray they would come
talk to Christina
and myself
and we would talk
about these things
and look at your son
and look at the claims
of your word.
And Lord,
for the rest of us
in here who've been
on this journey
and we've been walking
in these footprints
but then all of a sudden
we realize
that we've lost
the footprints
and we look behind us
and we look in front of us
and there's no feet
and we're just going
down this trail
on our own
and in our own power
and our own strength
and we're lost.
Father,
we just come before you
and we just confess
that our selfishness
and our pride
and our arrogance
and our self-sufficiency
is your people.
We're so thankful
that you're always
watching us.
We're so thankful
that you give us
other opportunities
to obey
and to trust you.
We're so thankful
that you're the God
of second chances
and that you never,
you never,
you never give up on us
as we sing
but I don't know
if we really believe that.
Lord,
we pray for this church
and we pray
for the people
who serve
and for the people
who speak
and pray that our lives
are different
than the people around us.
We pray for the offering
that's being taken
that it would honor you
and allow us to do
the ministries
that you've called us to do
and we pray
just that we would be
your hands
and your feet
in this amazing city
called Hong Kong.
Father,
thank you
that we do it together
and I pray
that there's any words
that we spoke today
that were not of you
that we would quickly
forget those things
but your word,
that precious nugget
of your son
and his life,
help us to think
about that.
Help us to live that out
in every area
of our life.
I know there are
students here,
there's teachers here,
there's doctors here,
there's lawyers here,
there's bankers,
there's housewives,
there's husband wives,
our husbands
and all those people
where we have to
just every day
think about
what does it mean for me?
What does it mean for me?
What does it mean for me
to trace my life
after Christ?
What does it mean for me
to walk in his footsteps?
I know that we need
this message even more
when difficult times come
and your word says they will.
If we're different,
difficult times will come
but we have a shepherd
who watches after our soul
and who takes care of us.
And so we come to you today,
our shepherd.
We love you.
We need you.
We pray these things
in Jesus' holy name.
Amen.