WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:09.259 So I'm often told when I'm in a conversation with someone, we're chatting, chatting, chatting, and they go, sorry, I've lost you. 00:00:09.900 --> 00:00:11.540 ! And maybe you've felt that as well. 00:00:12.439 --> 00:00:19.760 Maybe for you, you've ever been confused in a conversation or you're the one who someone goes, sorry, I've lost you. 00:00:19.760 --> 00:00:27.519 And perhaps you are here reading this passage in Ephesians and you've been coming each week. 00:00:27.519 --> 00:00:32.859 You've been hearing what Paul has been saying about the church and about Jesus. 00:00:33.979 --> 00:00:37.799 And you've just thought he's shifted from this topic to this topic. 00:00:38.200 --> 00:00:42.939 And you might have just gone, Paul, I've lost you. 00:00:43.799 --> 00:00:45.879 And you're talking about marriage. 00:00:45.980 --> 00:00:49.019 You're talking all of that after talking about the church. 00:00:49.020 --> 00:00:58.260 And what I'm aware of is that this topic, marriage and relationships, can be quite a personal topic. 00:00:58.600 --> 00:01:07.140 It can be quite a personal topic for many reasons, whether it's past or present or current situations of marriage experienced or even observed. 00:01:08.320 --> 00:01:14.020 And so the question we might have is, why does Paul jump in and begin talking about marriage and our relationships? 00:01:14.019 --> 00:01:17.959 God can care all about the spiritual. 00:01:18.500 --> 00:01:19.739 He can care about eternity. 00:01:20.579 --> 00:01:23.039 But why does he need to jump into my everyday? 00:01:24.099 --> 00:01:26.199 Well, there's two things we need to understand here. 00:01:26.719 --> 00:01:34.000 Number one, Ephesians follows a logic that Paul often begins with in a lot of his letters. 00:01:34.000 --> 00:01:41.319 It begins with who God is and what he's done before showing how that changes how we live. 00:01:41.319 --> 00:01:43.899 And that's exactly what's happening here. 00:01:44.659 --> 00:01:47.639 Because the gospel isn't just about Sunday in heaven. 00:01:48.019 --> 00:01:55.239 It should reshape your entire everyday life, your home, your relationships, even your work. 00:01:56.619 --> 00:02:00.959 And if Jesus is your savior, he is also your king in everything. 00:02:01.919 --> 00:02:07.159 Jesse, that's what you're stepping into today as you get baptized. 00:02:07.159 --> 00:02:20.419 But there's another reason that marriage, children, the household, workplace comes into this passage that's talking heavily about the church. 00:02:21.500 --> 00:02:24.300 It's because the church is a family. 00:02:25.139 --> 00:02:26.979 We are family. 00:02:27.539 --> 00:02:29.719 Yes, you've got that theme song in your head right now. 00:02:30.419 --> 00:02:33.180 That's why Paul talks about households. 00:02:33.180 --> 00:02:36.780 Because the church itself is a household. 00:02:37.159 --> 00:02:38.859 Because I said it two weeks ago. 00:02:39.020 --> 00:02:43.000 When you trust in Jesus, your family expands. 00:02:43.740 --> 00:02:45.620 You gain brothers and sisters in Christ. 00:02:46.219 --> 00:02:51.099 And so what happens in your home matters also for the life of the church. 00:02:52.479 --> 00:02:55.659 And so, Jesse, you're not just being baptized into Christ. 00:02:56.340 --> 00:02:58.379 You are welcomed into his family. 00:02:58.379 --> 00:03:04.939 And we pray and hope that you feel that deep richness of being family. 00:03:04.939 --> 00:03:13.199 And here, Paul speaks about two areas that should be shaped and transformed by the gospel. 00:03:13.719 --> 00:03:15.020 Number one is homes. 00:03:15.759 --> 00:03:18.199 And for us today, workplaces. 00:03:18.859 --> 00:03:20.579 You see, it's the commonplace for everyone. 00:03:20.759 --> 00:03:22.620 It's where the rubber hits the road. 00:03:22.620 --> 00:03:26.080 It's where we interact with household members, with our colleagues. 00:03:26.920 --> 00:03:37.159 And this passage begins with this kind of hinge verse that concludes last week's passage that Steve preached on and precedes what has been read out for us today. 00:03:37.159 --> 00:03:44.340 Verse 21, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. 00:03:45.960 --> 00:03:58.199 And what Paul starts with the call for us to follow God's example in our character, all the stuff that he spoke about last week, extends in this verse to how we relate to one another. 00:03:58.199 --> 00:04:08.019 That submission here is to be ready to renounce your own will for the sake of others. 00:04:09.119 --> 00:04:10.419 And Christ does that himself. 00:04:11.419 --> 00:04:21.779 It says in verse 2 of the same chapter, Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. 00:04:21.779 --> 00:04:27.139 It's in fact what you see in Philippians 2 verse 6, a very common creed that we say. 00:04:27.779 --> 00:04:34.079 Jesus, who being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage. 00:04:34.799 --> 00:04:42.639 Rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. 00:04:43.439 --> 00:04:45.199 Jesus is God. 00:04:45.379 --> 00:04:46.539 He is God. 00:04:46.540 --> 00:04:51.520 Yet, he, despite his nature, makes the choice to submit. 00:04:53.260 --> 00:04:58.960 And this forms the basis of us, how we ought to think about our relationships as others-centered. 00:05:00.060 --> 00:05:11.160 And this means that if you are single, if you're not married, maybe you're not planning on getting married, this passage still matters to you. 00:05:11.160 --> 00:05:21.300 And so the question we all need to answer is, how should our relationships look like in light of the cross? 00:05:22.020 --> 00:05:25.260 How should our relationships look like in light of the cross? 00:05:25.720 --> 00:05:32.260 And there are two analogies that I think that are helpful to understand each sphere of our life. 00:05:33.180 --> 00:05:37.420 Number one, homes are mirrors. 00:05:37.420 --> 00:05:41.480 Number two, workplaces are altars. 00:05:41.680 --> 00:05:43.520 Homes and mirrors, workplaces are altars. 00:05:44.460 --> 00:05:50.700 So now today, in regard to marriage, I will recognize that I will not give you a full dissection on this. 00:05:51.140 --> 00:05:57.180 But that's because we've actually got a whole term series worth discussing marriage in term two. 00:05:57.340 --> 00:05:58.960 So I will try to keep it brief. 00:05:59.200 --> 00:06:00.360 It's something to look forward to. 00:06:00.860 --> 00:06:04.259 You might feel like you've had enough about marriage from me after this service. 00:06:04.259 --> 00:06:06.579 But you get a really exciting term of it. 00:06:06.639 --> 00:06:07.860 I'm really keen personally. 00:06:08.959 --> 00:06:19.000 But the first thing I want to mention about this section is that what is so clear about love and marriage is that it is shaped by God. 00:06:19.819 --> 00:06:24.180 Who God is shapes what marriage is. 00:06:24.759 --> 00:06:29.519 Because love, marriage, is not a human invention. 00:06:30.500 --> 00:06:31.219 It's not. 00:06:31.220 --> 00:06:32.660 You might feel it. 00:06:32.700 --> 00:06:33.820 You might experience it deeply. 00:06:34.880 --> 00:06:38.480 But it is, in fact, a reflection of God. 00:06:39.160 --> 00:06:43.300 And even more so in this passage about marriage, a reflection of Christ and his church. 00:06:43.340 --> 00:06:44.460 Have a look at verse 23. 00:06:45.180 --> 00:06:50.780 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. 00:06:51.160 --> 00:06:53.900 His body of which he is the saviour. 00:06:53.899 --> 00:07:01.339 Now, as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 00:07:02.439 --> 00:07:08.739 You see, marriage is a reflection of the very nature of Christ and his church. 00:07:08.740 --> 00:07:21.220 And here we need to be very careful that we don't put our cultural lens and gavel on this passage and discount parts of Scripture here that we might think can be too archaic. 00:07:21.220 --> 00:07:27.120 Or even import our own personal, selfish, harsh view that Paul does not have. 00:07:28.160 --> 00:07:34.700 Paul is not communicating that husbands and wives and therefore men and women are not equal. 00:07:34.700 --> 00:07:39.760 Nor that women are subjugated under men to willless obedience. 00:07:40.760 --> 00:07:47.280 Not even that the particular household role that the husband must do or the wife must do. 00:07:47.279 --> 00:07:52.659 Yet we also have to recognize the fallenness of the world that we live in. 00:07:53.500 --> 00:08:06.659 That this passage and many others have been used as coercion and selfish and immoral gain by many people, particularly men, to justify domestic abuse. 00:08:07.919 --> 00:08:09.559 And that is spiritual abuse. 00:08:10.259 --> 00:08:10.959 That is sin. 00:08:11.039 --> 00:08:13.399 And the Bible is by no means condoning it. 00:08:13.619 --> 00:08:15.239 It is, in fact, condemning it. 00:08:15.240 --> 00:08:18.639 Because this is not Paul's view on submission. 00:08:19.160 --> 00:08:22.139 So what exactly is this submission in regard to? 00:08:22.780 --> 00:08:29.319 Firstly, it is a submission first and foremost to Christ, which we saw in verse 21. 00:08:29.639 --> 00:08:34.960 But secondly, we need to understand Paul's instruction to the husband in this passage. 00:08:35.560 --> 00:08:40.480 You see, wives get this one verse where the men get all of these verses. 00:08:40.600 --> 00:08:41.580 Verse 25 to 31. 00:08:41.720 --> 00:08:42.399 Read along with me. 00:08:42.399 --> 00:08:46.759 Husbands, love your wives. 00:08:47.179 --> 00:08:55.259 Just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word. 00:08:55.500 --> 00:09:01.879 And to present her to himself as a radiant church without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish. 00:09:01.879 --> 00:09:03.959 But holy and blameless. 00:09:03.960 --> 00:09:14.180 Notice the word that I emphasized. 00:09:15.440 --> 00:09:15.920 Love. 00:09:16.740 --> 00:09:20.340 And in the original language, there are different kinds of love. 00:09:20.480 --> 00:09:25.160 And the love that Paul chooses here is the agape love. 00:09:25.159 --> 00:09:26.459 Let's say that together. 00:09:27.159 --> 00:09:28.659 Agape or agape. 00:09:29.019 --> 00:09:35.059 This agape love is the same one that Christ Jesus has for the church. 00:09:35.100 --> 00:09:37.339 The same one that we saw earlier in verse 2. 00:09:37.600 --> 00:09:39.919 It's a special kind of love. 00:09:40.000 --> 00:09:42.500 And what does this agape love look like? 00:09:43.779 --> 00:09:44.860 It's number one. 00:09:44.939 --> 00:09:46.039 It's self-emptying. 00:09:46.139 --> 00:09:47.360 Have a look at verse 25. 00:09:47.360 --> 00:09:52.000 Look at how Christ gives himself, sacrifices himself. 00:09:52.399 --> 00:09:57.620 So too does the husband give himself up, pouring out of himself. 00:09:57.759 --> 00:10:01.139 There is at great cost Jesus' life. 00:10:02.340 --> 00:10:03.680 It's self-emptying. 00:10:03.759 --> 00:10:05.480 But it is self-sacrificing. 00:10:07.419 --> 00:10:13.060 Jesus makes us clean through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. 00:10:13.059 --> 00:10:16.679 Through his death and resurrection. 00:10:18.619 --> 00:10:22.519 And so, husbands ought to do the same. 00:10:23.319 --> 00:10:27.679 Have the same self-emptying, self-sacrificing love. 00:10:28.179 --> 00:10:33.539 Renounce not just his will, but his life for the sake of the church. 00:10:33.799 --> 00:10:35.539 That's the kind of love here. 00:10:35.799 --> 00:10:40.339 The love that runs into a burning building to save a child. 00:10:40.340 --> 00:10:45.040 This is the love that Jesus has for the church. 00:10:45.879 --> 00:10:50.440 And it's not some overly romanticized, overly emotional sense of love. 00:10:50.500 --> 00:10:52.639 It is this self-denying love. 00:10:52.720 --> 00:10:56.120 And a love that has an effectual commitment. 00:10:57.060 --> 00:11:00.060 Which is the centerpiece of the marriage that we see here. 00:11:00.620 --> 00:11:03.139 Which defied Roman culture. 00:11:03.519 --> 00:11:06.420 Where marriage functioned more transactionally. 00:11:06.600 --> 00:11:08.280 And was for economic gain. 00:11:08.279 --> 00:11:14.399 So, friends, if you are a husband, you are to lead like Jesus Christ. 00:11:14.860 --> 00:11:19.139 You serve your family not for selfish gain or to be manipulative or abusive. 00:11:20.100 --> 00:11:27.639 This passage should not give any space for a man to think that he can control or demand submission from his partner. 00:11:29.019 --> 00:11:32.799 To rule and demand is not the picture that the Lord has. 00:11:32.860 --> 00:11:35.319 Even beyond the scriptures that we have just read. 00:11:35.500 --> 00:11:36.679 This is not the picture. 00:11:36.679 --> 00:11:37.179 Why? 00:11:38.679 --> 00:11:41.120 Because your life ought to be a mirror. 00:11:42.059 --> 00:11:44.479 At the very core of who you were made to be. 00:11:44.519 --> 00:11:45.539 Man and woman. 00:11:45.979 --> 00:11:48.500 You were made to be a mirror. 00:11:48.879 --> 00:11:52.639 Because God made you in the image of himself. 00:11:52.739 --> 00:11:53.739 In Genesis 1.29. 00:11:53.979 --> 00:12:00.279 Which is to say that God has made you to be his representative on this earth. 00:12:00.319 --> 00:12:02.919 With dignity, likeness and agency. 00:12:02.919 --> 00:12:09.120 And therefore, he establishes the marriage, the home, to be a mirror too. 00:12:10.559 --> 00:12:12.559 Like, that's a beautiful image, isn't it? 00:12:12.679 --> 00:12:18.319 Like, just imagine if a light were to shine onto a mirror, it gets reflected everywhere. 00:12:18.479 --> 00:12:19.699 We'll see that on the screen here. 00:12:19.700 --> 00:12:25.100 And the same goes with the reflection of Christ's love. 00:12:26.080 --> 00:12:29.920 It ought to permeate everywhere in your life. 00:12:30.720 --> 00:12:32.520 You just bounce God's love out. 00:12:33.000 --> 00:12:34.220 Have a look at verse 28. 00:12:34.220 --> 00:13:02.580 Friends, when a believer's life is so transformed by Jesus, it's no longer about the self and the self and the self. 00:13:02.580 --> 00:13:05.500 It's so much about the other. 00:13:06.320 --> 00:13:10.960 And so, too, in marriage, it is so much about your spouse. 00:13:11.480 --> 00:13:13.180 Yet, ironically, did you see? 00:13:13.720 --> 00:13:14.700 Verse 28. 00:13:15.240 --> 00:13:19.759 By doing so, by loving the other so much, you actually love yourself. 00:13:20.600 --> 00:13:21.060 Why? 00:13:22.900 --> 00:13:24.320 We saw it in 31. 00:13:24.320 --> 00:13:28.320 Because God's purposes for marriage was for it to be a united companionship. 00:13:29.220 --> 00:13:31.580 Not two separate people with two separate agendas. 00:13:32.520 --> 00:13:33.320 One flesh. 00:13:36.379 --> 00:13:43.120 And so, submission is not something the husband calls the wife to. 00:13:43.120 --> 00:13:54.120 But the wife willingly does to support the husband in his pursuit to submit to Christ and to pour out of himself so that the wife might do the same. 00:13:56.019 --> 00:13:59.659 Husbands, your obligation in marriage is to her. 00:13:59.659 --> 00:14:07.379 If you are one who subscribes to biblical headship, as John Calvin says, it is not kingship. 00:14:07.860 --> 00:14:11.299 That's reserved to and for Jesus. 00:14:12.120 --> 00:14:15.000 But of companionship. 00:14:15.779 --> 00:14:22.339 Your purpose is to love and serve her selflessly at great personal cost. 00:14:22.980 --> 00:14:24.899 It's so that the bride might thrive. 00:14:24.899 --> 00:14:29.620 It's to support her in being the woman God has called her to be. 00:14:30.179 --> 00:14:31.600 It's to respect her. 00:14:31.959 --> 00:14:38.579 To see her succeed in Christ, in her communities, in her workplaces, as a mother, as a daughter. 00:14:39.740 --> 00:14:41.399 That's your submission to Christ. 00:14:42.659 --> 00:14:47.659 And yet, this passage is not prescriptive in how this necessarily gets worked out in marriage. 00:14:48.100 --> 00:14:52.519 And I'm not here to say that the woman or man ought to do particular tasks in the home. 00:14:52.519 --> 00:14:55.960 But I do think the passage does tell us about our posture. 00:14:56.740 --> 00:15:00.360 It tells us the posture of submission, yet also the posture of headship. 00:15:00.679 --> 00:15:03.000 And Jesus has both postures, doesn't he? 00:15:03.539 --> 00:15:07.439 If you know this story, the Garden of Gethsemane in Matthew 26, he says, 00:15:07.699 --> 00:15:12.340 My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. 00:15:13.299 --> 00:15:15.579 Yet not as I will, but as you will. 00:15:15.580 --> 00:15:27.240 Jesus submits to the will of the Father, yet he willingly leads his bride to life by giving his life on the cross. 00:15:28.500 --> 00:15:33.440 So friends, if you want to see the beauty of the gospel and how it ought to shape your life, 00:15:33.540 --> 00:15:35.160 take a leaf out of Jesus' book. 00:15:35.159 --> 00:15:45.079 And when you think of it practically, the relationship is very much one that is equally very other person-centered. 00:15:46.079 --> 00:15:51.339 I remember talking to some newlyweds, and in fact, it's actually a common thing when I ask them, 00:15:51.519 --> 00:15:54.620 after honeymoon or maybe after two months, I ask how they're going. 00:15:55.419 --> 00:15:56.959 And they're loving it. 00:15:57.100 --> 00:15:58.620 They're loving that they can be together. 00:15:59.620 --> 00:16:01.319 But marriage is hard. 00:16:01.320 --> 00:16:04.980 And the thing often that they say is they didn't expect how tough it was. 00:16:05.379 --> 00:16:10.320 They didn't expect how tough it was to love the other person at great cost of their energy, 00:16:10.879 --> 00:16:12.600 their mind, and their willpower. 00:16:13.900 --> 00:16:16.560 They were ready to sleep, but something else had to happen. 00:16:18.460 --> 00:16:26.600 And the picture that we ought to see is that both spouses equally are so much for the other, 00:16:27.560 --> 00:16:28.740 that both benefit. 00:16:28.740 --> 00:16:35.340 You know, I know one of my friends is really intentional about making sure that his wife 00:16:35.340 --> 00:16:40.860 is not just well-rested, having time for herself, but he will intentionally carry extra load 00:16:40.860 --> 00:16:43.639 so that his wife can have time in the Word. 00:16:45.820 --> 00:16:47.039 Maybe she'll go to the park. 00:16:47.159 --> 00:16:49.759 Maybe she'll journal about God's goodness to her. 00:16:49.799 --> 00:16:52.000 And I think that's a wonderful practice. 00:16:52.000 --> 00:16:59.179 And my favourite weddings to go to aren't just the ones where there's a good cake. 00:16:59.480 --> 00:16:59.879 It's great. 00:17:00.379 --> 00:17:02.940 But even a lovey-dovey couple. 00:17:04.220 --> 00:17:10.039 But I get stunned when I hear in the wedding speech that the thing that they are most excited 00:17:10.039 --> 00:17:15.319 about being together, living together, is to do hospitality. 00:17:16.639 --> 00:17:22.720 That they can have friends, family, and church over because they are all invited into God's family. 00:17:23.519 --> 00:17:24.500 And I just go, wow. 00:17:25.079 --> 00:17:31.920 Isn't God so great and gracious and glorious that he made this couple who wish to use their marriage 00:17:31.920 --> 00:17:34.340 and their home to give their life to Christ? 00:17:35.160 --> 00:17:41.560 You see, Paul's heart for marriage is that the couple submits to Jesus Christ as their Lord, 00:17:41.660 --> 00:17:44.019 which is why the heartbeat in verse 32 says, 00:17:44.500 --> 00:17:46.140 this is a profound mystery. 00:17:47.180 --> 00:17:50.259 But I'm talking about Christ and the church. 00:17:51.220 --> 00:17:56.560 You see, the thrust of what matters to Paul ultimately is that whether single or married, 00:17:56.559 --> 00:18:02.740 that God's son, Jesus Christ, is the saviour of the world, who's the bride, is the church. 00:18:04.039 --> 00:18:06.759 And Paul is calling you to be a part of his bride. 00:18:08.220 --> 00:18:12.559 Because it's possible to have an all-loving marriage, mutual caring relationship, 00:18:13.240 --> 00:18:16.079 yet still not have Jesus at the centre of the marriage. 00:18:17.279 --> 00:18:20.940 And the goal that Paul says is emulation. 00:18:20.940 --> 00:18:27.240 The goal is that this relationship, this one flesh, itself submits to Jesus Christ, 00:18:28.059 --> 00:18:31.019 much as everything else is to as well. 00:18:31.940 --> 00:18:35.220 And how beautiful would that be, the picture, if the church did that too? 00:18:35.820 --> 00:18:42.840 Imagine, as in verse 21, we all serve each other at great cost, 00:18:42.880 --> 00:18:45.480 so each of us might lift Christ high. 00:18:46.880 --> 00:18:49.380 I mean, that's the picture that the Lord wants to see in the home 00:18:49.380 --> 00:18:51.020 and also for children. 00:18:51.460 --> 00:18:53.140 Have a look at 6 verse 1. 00:18:53.780 --> 00:18:56.900 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right, 00:18:57.360 --> 00:19:01.100 honour your father and mother, which is the first commandment with a promise, 00:19:02.060 --> 00:19:06.360 so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth. 00:19:07.320 --> 00:19:12.420 You see, the hope and prayer for the child is to obey the parents. 00:19:12.420 --> 00:19:13.980 Sorry, kids, it's a reality. 00:19:13.980 --> 00:19:21.360 It's that the parents' marriage emulate Christ and lead the child up to know Christ. 00:19:22.519 --> 00:19:23.579 That's the goal. 00:19:23.740 --> 00:19:24.319 That's the hope. 00:19:24.400 --> 00:19:24.920 That's the prayer. 00:19:25.259 --> 00:19:32.200 And in verse 3, when you obey, when you submit to God and his law, 00:19:32.539 --> 00:19:38.019 it is supposed to be for our benefit, whether we see that or not. 00:19:38.960 --> 00:19:40.960 That's why it says, so that it may go well. 00:19:40.960 --> 00:19:45.559 It's not to praise an egotistical God who demands with no rhyme and reason, 00:19:46.340 --> 00:19:49.360 but submission to God is actually for our benefit. 00:19:50.620 --> 00:19:52.160 And so it continues in verse 4. 00:19:52.559 --> 00:19:54.799 Fathers, do not exasperate your children. 00:19:55.279 --> 00:19:58.920 Instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. 00:20:00.059 --> 00:20:03.319 And friends, in our personal desires to get our children to act, 00:20:03.480 --> 00:20:07.500 behave in a way that you desire, it should never be harsh, 00:20:07.500 --> 00:20:11.819 should never be unreasonable, because the term here, exasperate, 00:20:11.880 --> 00:20:15.539 is to cause excessive anger and frustration. 00:20:16.240 --> 00:20:19.920 And where they perhaps feel so suffocated by rules and regulations, 00:20:20.440 --> 00:20:25.140 that may seem so unrealistic and unreasonable and legalistic. 00:20:26.099 --> 00:20:30.920 And notice that exasperation and training our kids to know Jesus 00:20:30.920 --> 00:20:34.900 are in contrast in this verse as well. 00:20:35.759 --> 00:20:37.420 Training and instruction of the Lord is not, well, 00:20:37.539 --> 00:20:40.240 I'm going to use God's word for my purposes. 00:20:40.400 --> 00:20:43.320 Hey, it says honour your mother and father, so you better honour me. 00:20:43.600 --> 00:20:44.480 It's not that. 00:20:46.660 --> 00:20:49.960 It's not saying, hey, well, God's law says this, you should do this. 00:20:49.960 --> 00:20:57.360 It's actually to help our kids see Jesus as Lord and why he is ultimate, 00:20:57.819 --> 00:20:59.059 why he's beautiful. 00:21:00.160 --> 00:21:02.079 Train your children in godly wisdom. 00:21:02.860 --> 00:21:06.460 Help them see God's wisdom in living in the world that he created. 00:21:06.960 --> 00:21:08.620 And so, parents, I want to say this. 00:21:09.000 --> 00:21:10.860 There are so many things in this world, 00:21:11.100 --> 00:21:14.660 so many things that are attractive, that steal our joy and our calendars. 00:21:14.660 --> 00:21:19.519 Sometimes these are things that you desire and dream for your children, 00:21:19.640 --> 00:21:23.620 but even God does not have for your dream and for their dream. 00:21:24.960 --> 00:21:27.700 He has a better plan, as we see in Romans 8. 00:21:28.100 --> 00:21:32.140 There may be external pressures or expectations that you feel that you must meet, 00:21:32.860 --> 00:21:35.860 but don't choke your child with all these pressures. 00:21:36.700 --> 00:21:38.220 Keep the main thing, the main thing. 00:21:39.500 --> 00:21:42.700 Dads and mums, don't disengage in raising your kids to know Jesus. 00:21:42.700 --> 00:21:46.059 Don't leave that responsibility to the youth leaders or the scripture teachers. 00:21:46.180 --> 00:21:47.580 If you need tools, come ask me. 00:21:47.620 --> 00:21:48.480 I would love to help you. 00:21:49.360 --> 00:21:51.000 I would love to increase your toolkit. 00:21:51.740 --> 00:21:55.319 But model and teach and encourage your kids to love the Lord. 00:21:56.440 --> 00:21:59.640 Why don't you find one of the young adults who were raised by Christian parents 00:21:59.640 --> 00:22:01.880 and ask them, how were they discipled by their parents? 00:22:01.940 --> 00:22:02.660 How did they fail? 00:22:03.460 --> 00:22:04.680 How could they have done better? 00:22:05.319 --> 00:22:08.460 But how amazing it is that we have walking witnesses around 00:22:08.460 --> 00:22:14.980 of God's grace through family and church discipleship walking around us. 00:22:16.819 --> 00:22:21.140 And as someone who's been a children's minister and a single person over many years, 00:22:21.200 --> 00:22:26.480 I've had the privilege of sitting in many, many homes and families for meals, 00:22:26.600 --> 00:22:28.559 and there have been so many moments that I've just gleaned from them. 00:22:28.640 --> 00:22:29.420 It's just been a joy. 00:22:29.840 --> 00:22:33.559 And I get to see a glimmer of what Christ has purposed the home to be. 00:22:33.559 --> 00:22:38.679 And so if our homes are meant to be mirrors that reflect Jesus, 00:22:39.099 --> 00:22:41.139 I just have a few questions, if you don't mind. 00:22:41.220 --> 00:22:42.139 They're going to be on the screen. 00:22:42.740 --> 00:22:45.419 I just want you to either write them down, take a photo of them, 00:22:45.480 --> 00:22:49.419 and just reflect about these questions at home. 00:22:49.919 --> 00:22:55.139 The questions are, does the interests of Christ reflect in how and who you choose to date? 00:22:56.659 --> 00:23:00.299 Question number two, in much the same way as Christ, 00:23:00.299 --> 00:23:04.879 where do you need to self-empty out of submission for another, 00:23:05.319 --> 00:23:08.579 whether that be in marriage or also another relationship? 00:23:10.079 --> 00:23:13.279 If your child were to answer this question, 00:23:14.279 --> 00:23:16.379 what do you think they would say? 00:23:17.119 --> 00:23:20.740 What is your parents' dream for you? 00:23:21.859 --> 00:23:24.079 Just think about those questions, take a photo of them. 00:23:24.559 --> 00:23:28.579 But I am aware, keep it on this slide for now, James, 00:23:28.579 --> 00:23:33.159 I am aware that for some, we might have the question, 00:23:33.539 --> 00:23:35.919 what do I do in a household that doesn't worship Jesus? 00:23:36.740 --> 00:23:38.619 Maybe you've been brought from death to light, 00:23:38.779 --> 00:23:40.439 and you see that Jesus is ultimate, 00:23:40.720 --> 00:23:43.819 and the posture of your heart is not just submitting to Jesus, 00:23:43.919 --> 00:23:45.899 but everyone in your life does submit to Jesus. 00:23:47.279 --> 00:23:50.059 And that's a real painful and heartbreaking reality. 00:23:50.179 --> 00:23:52.119 And I just want to say, I hear your pain. 00:23:52.220 --> 00:23:53.399 It's awful and hard. 00:23:53.400 --> 00:23:58.040 And I remember hearing an encouragement from someone, 00:23:58.759 --> 00:24:02.140 and they said, keep asking the Lord to use your actions, 00:24:02.580 --> 00:24:04.440 your posture, your love, and your language 00:24:04.440 --> 00:24:06.640 to be so transformed by the gospel 00:24:06.640 --> 00:24:10.160 that what your family sees is someone 00:24:10.160 --> 00:24:13.040 who is actually a better husband and a better wife, 00:24:13.140 --> 00:24:16.120 a better mom, a better dad because of Jesus and not for it. 00:24:16.119 --> 00:24:19.639 That you're a better husband, better son, 00:24:19.679 --> 00:24:21.839 not because of self-help, but because of Jesus Christ. 00:24:22.619 --> 00:24:24.519 That's how they see the goodness of the gospel here. 00:24:24.679 --> 00:24:27.879 They experience the benefits of the gospels at this point. 00:24:28.799 --> 00:24:31.579 And this isn't a promise that the Lord will then reward you 00:24:31.579 --> 00:24:34.279 with them trusting in Jesus, 00:24:34.799 --> 00:24:39.559 but we do these things ultimately in loving obedience to our king. 00:24:39.559 --> 00:24:42.480 And so remember, friends, you have been called 00:24:42.480 --> 00:24:44.599 to be conformed into the image of Christ. 00:24:45.299 --> 00:24:49.259 And so my prayer alongside you is that this mirror 00:24:49.259 --> 00:24:50.799 shines through to your family. 00:24:52.039 --> 00:24:56.059 But the last fear that Paul talks about is slaves and masters. 00:24:56.179 --> 00:24:58.899 And it's really important to note that the concept of slaves here 00:24:58.899 --> 00:25:03.079 is very distinctive to our understanding of slavery today, 00:25:03.659 --> 00:25:06.399 whether that be modern slavery around the world 00:25:06.400 --> 00:25:10.700 or even years ago, the Southern African American slavery. 00:25:11.160 --> 00:25:14.300 You see, in Roman cities, two-thirds of the population 00:25:14.300 --> 00:25:16.500 were either slaves or had been slaves. 00:25:16.880 --> 00:25:20.140 Many slaves were working in high official roles 00:25:20.140 --> 00:25:21.880 alongside non-slaves. 00:25:22.380 --> 00:25:25.720 And this isn't identical to modern slavery. 00:25:26.640 --> 00:25:29.100 But perhaps the principles we see in this passage 00:25:29.100 --> 00:25:32.240 actually apply to work relationships today. 00:25:32.800 --> 00:25:35.519 So employees, colleagues, work teams, bosses, all of that. 00:25:35.519 --> 00:25:37.740 So in verse 5, it says, 00:25:38.400 --> 00:25:42.980 slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear 00:25:42.980 --> 00:25:47.700 and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ. 00:25:48.440 --> 00:25:54.220 You see, for the slave, Paul encourages them to look to Christ. 00:25:54.759 --> 00:25:58.500 Look beyond your earthly master as your motivation 00:25:58.500 --> 00:26:03.259 and encouragement to respect and fear your boss. 00:26:03.259 --> 00:26:05.859 And the posture isn't grumbling, 00:26:05.980 --> 00:26:09.400 but with an attitude, an attitude of love, 00:26:09.819 --> 00:26:11.420 self-sacrificing, self-giving. 00:26:11.839 --> 00:26:13.019 Speak with gentleness. 00:26:13.619 --> 00:26:15.879 Be quick to listen, to feedback. 00:26:16.759 --> 00:26:19.059 Because your performance here is ultimately not 00:26:19.059 --> 00:26:21.339 for the appeasement of your earthly master, 00:26:21.420 --> 00:26:22.279 but because of Christ. 00:26:22.359 --> 00:26:23.079 Have a look, verse 6. 00:26:23.200 --> 00:26:25.779 Obey them, not only to win their favor 00:26:25.779 --> 00:26:26.859 when their eye is on you, 00:26:27.420 --> 00:26:29.779 but as slaves of Christ, 00:26:29.859 --> 00:26:31.299 doing the will of God from your heart. 00:26:31.299 --> 00:26:32.839 And then further in verse 7, 00:26:33.279 --> 00:26:35.720 you serve as if you were serving the Lord, 00:26:36.039 --> 00:26:37.339 not people. 00:26:38.500 --> 00:26:41.180 And I think this is a helpful image when you work 00:26:41.180 --> 00:26:45.899 that you think of your place of work as an altar. 00:26:47.019 --> 00:26:48.279 It's an altar for the Lord. 00:26:48.500 --> 00:26:50.339 That your work that you do 00:26:50.339 --> 00:26:53.319 is a sacrifice that is pleasing to them. 00:26:53.359 --> 00:26:54.759 Whether it's stacking up shelves, 00:26:55.079 --> 00:26:56.779 whether it's putting data into a spreadsheet, 00:26:56.779 --> 00:26:58.519 it is sacrifice. 00:26:59.039 --> 00:27:00.940 The attitude, the content, the result 00:27:00.940 --> 00:27:03.000 is for him and by him. 00:27:03.720 --> 00:27:05.539 And I remember when one of our wardens, 00:27:05.720 --> 00:27:06.980 I'm sorry I didn't mention this to you, 00:27:07.079 --> 00:27:09.779 Soren, said in an interview a while back 00:27:09.779 --> 00:27:12.220 that living for Jesus as a lawyer 00:27:12.220 --> 00:27:15.259 meant bringing restoration for those who were hurting 00:27:15.259 --> 00:27:17.180 and bringing justice and order 00:27:17.180 --> 00:27:19.759 in regard to Christ. 00:27:19.940 --> 00:27:22.660 And so workplaces are altars 00:27:22.660 --> 00:27:25.820 in that what you do is a sacrifice you offer to God. 00:27:26.480 --> 00:27:29.140 And maybe it even might look so beautiful 00:27:29.140 --> 00:27:32.220 and costly that your colleagues and bosses 00:27:32.220 --> 00:27:34.320 begin to see that there's something different about you. 00:27:36.160 --> 00:27:39.259 That perhaps by seeking to emulate Christ 00:27:39.259 --> 00:27:40.180 in your character, 00:27:41.080 --> 00:27:42.500 you might have the opportunity 00:27:42.500 --> 00:27:44.100 to be a messenger of the gospel. 00:27:44.220 --> 00:27:45.840 It says in 2 Corinthians 2.15, 00:27:45.839 --> 00:27:49.579 For we are to God the pleasing aroma of Christ 00:27:49.579 --> 00:27:51.539 among those who are being saved 00:27:51.539 --> 00:27:52.859 and those who are perishing. 00:27:53.279 --> 00:27:56.559 And isn't that the goal for Christians as mirrors, 00:27:57.000 --> 00:27:58.859 as those made in God's image, 00:27:59.019 --> 00:28:01.339 to see others grasp hold of that light? 00:28:02.559 --> 00:28:05.059 Or this image, this aroma, this smell. 00:28:06.399 --> 00:28:07.759 That as we give our efforts, 00:28:07.899 --> 00:28:09.899 our time and our energy at work, 00:28:10.099 --> 00:28:12.539 that Jesus might be that real aroma 00:28:12.539 --> 00:28:14.000 that our friends see. 00:28:14.000 --> 00:28:16.700 And as you live for Jesus, 00:28:16.960 --> 00:28:20.380 you carry, it's an ugly image, 00:28:21.039 --> 00:28:23.859 but the death of Christ in your life. 00:28:23.920 --> 00:28:27.160 The death of Christ that brings forgiveness of sin, 00:28:27.940 --> 00:28:29.160 confidence in God's grace. 00:28:29.240 --> 00:28:30.319 It's life-changing stuff 00:28:30.319 --> 00:28:31.759 that I want my colleagues to know. 00:28:32.000 --> 00:28:33.940 Because Paul reminds us 00:28:33.940 --> 00:28:35.960 that whether you or your colleague 00:28:35.960 --> 00:28:37.720 recognises this reality, 00:28:38.160 --> 00:28:39.299 there is a true king. 00:28:39.720 --> 00:28:40.960 There is a true master. 00:28:41.079 --> 00:28:43.119 And there is really only one master. 00:28:43.119 --> 00:28:43.699 Verse 9, 00:28:43.819 --> 00:28:44.759 Do not threaten them, 00:28:45.000 --> 00:28:47.979 since you know that he who is both their master 00:28:47.979 --> 00:28:49.159 and yours is in heaven, 00:28:49.219 --> 00:28:51.339 and there is no favouritism with him. 00:28:52.399 --> 00:28:55.279 You see, the gospel is this levelling playing field. 00:28:56.299 --> 00:28:58.299 And so our posture at work, 00:28:58.359 --> 00:29:00.599 as managers, bosses, workers, 00:29:00.719 --> 00:29:03.299 is to remember there is one master above it all. 00:29:03.699 --> 00:29:04.639 That's the centre. 00:29:05.599 --> 00:29:07.079 My life is not my own. 00:29:07.079 --> 00:29:10.379 And it's for him because my workplace is an altar. 00:29:11.339 --> 00:29:13.619 That I am to be a pleasing sacrifice for him 00:29:13.619 --> 00:29:14.559 and to be attractive, 00:29:14.939 --> 00:29:15.939 not aesthetically, 00:29:16.679 --> 00:29:17.799 for those around me. 00:29:18.799 --> 00:29:20.099 And it might lead to a question, 00:29:20.240 --> 00:29:20.679 for example, 00:29:20.779 --> 00:29:23.099 what do I do in a corporate workspace 00:29:23.099 --> 00:29:25.659 that doesn't allow for topics in the gospel? 00:29:26.679 --> 00:29:27.099 Firstly, 00:29:27.099 --> 00:29:28.879 any form of headship 00:29:28.879 --> 00:29:30.079 or any leader, 00:29:30.659 --> 00:29:31.339 law or authority 00:29:31.339 --> 00:29:32.439 that pushes you to sin 00:29:32.439 --> 00:29:34.740 or bounds you further away from Christ 00:29:34.740 --> 00:29:37.119 is not one you are to submit to. 00:29:37.240 --> 00:29:38.699 And I want to give you a little encouragement. 00:29:39.379 --> 00:29:42.219 Just because your boss pressures you to work 00:29:42.219 --> 00:29:44.259 doesn't mean you have to, 00:29:45.199 --> 00:29:47.000 particularly when it's outside your contract. 00:29:47.000 --> 00:29:49.319 I know that slavery, 00:29:49.859 --> 00:29:53.099 we feel enslaved to pressures, 00:29:54.079 --> 00:29:56.460 but you don't have to take that work shift on a Sunday 00:29:56.460 --> 00:29:57.660 if you're a casual. 00:29:59.000 --> 00:30:00.599 If your conscience is seared, 00:30:00.680 --> 00:30:02.000 if you are aware that your work 00:30:02.000 --> 00:30:03.980 is negatively affecting your relationship 00:30:03.980 --> 00:30:05.299 with Christ and his church, 00:30:05.920 --> 00:30:07.140 then what will you do about it? 00:30:09.099 --> 00:30:11.859 I'm not encouraging you to go to your workplaces 00:30:11.859 --> 00:30:12.900 and break protocol 00:30:12.900 --> 00:30:16.140 and start telling your friends about Jesus, 00:30:16.140 --> 00:30:18.860 but perhaps you need to get creative 00:30:18.860 --> 00:30:21.700 and invest time with your colleagues inside 00:30:21.700 --> 00:30:23.759 so you can speak with them outside 00:30:23.759 --> 00:30:27.020 and ask the Lord to reveal an opportunity 00:30:27.020 --> 00:30:28.720 and a door that will enable you 00:30:28.720 --> 00:30:30.720 perhaps to read the Bible with your colleague. 00:30:32.540 --> 00:30:33.700 But friends, as I close, 00:30:33.759 --> 00:30:34.560 I just want to ask, 00:30:35.060 --> 00:30:36.940 if I were to ask your colleagues, 00:30:37.920 --> 00:30:39.500 your neighbours, your kids, your friends, 00:30:40.000 --> 00:30:43.740 if they could see Jesus in how you live, 00:30:43.900 --> 00:30:45.160 what do you think they would say? 00:30:46.140 --> 00:30:48.980 Right now, if I ask them, 00:30:49.300 --> 00:30:50.160 what do you think they would say? 00:30:51.180 --> 00:30:53.320 And if you have any doubt or worry 00:30:53.320 --> 00:30:55.560 and you wish that your life was consumed 00:30:55.560 --> 00:30:56.860 with Jesus' love, 00:30:57.820 --> 00:31:00.080 your first step is this. 00:31:01.420 --> 00:31:03.740 Find your rest and your confidence 00:31:03.740 --> 00:31:06.480 in a marriage that is set in stone. 00:31:07.820 --> 00:31:09.440 A love that was first formed 00:31:09.440 --> 00:31:13.880 because Christ initiated love with you on the cross. 00:31:13.880 --> 00:31:15.820 1 John 4, 19, 00:31:16.400 --> 00:31:19.420 we love because he first loved us. 00:31:20.140 --> 00:31:22.040 Obsess over his love for you. 00:31:22.340 --> 00:31:23.460 Think about it so much 00:31:23.460 --> 00:31:26.780 and perhaps what you actually need 00:31:26.780 --> 00:31:28.760 is that to be an everyday thing 00:31:28.760 --> 00:31:30.160 and not just a Sunday thing. 00:31:30.860 --> 00:31:33.060 Maybe the reason that you are not reflecting Christ 00:31:33.060 --> 00:31:34.940 is because your home and your workplaces 00:31:34.940 --> 00:31:36.100 and your mind and your calendar 00:31:36.100 --> 00:31:37.820 is filled with so much stuff. 00:31:37.900 --> 00:31:39.540 Not bad stuff, just neutral. 00:31:39.539 --> 00:31:43.460 And so I just want to give you one little tip 00:31:43.460 --> 00:31:45.159 to speckle your home, 00:31:45.259 --> 00:31:46.420 your workplace with reminders. 00:31:47.279 --> 00:31:48.700 One thing I've started to do 00:31:48.700 --> 00:31:51.079 is to prayerfully and financially support 00:31:51.079 --> 00:31:52.019 a friend in ministry. 00:31:52.559 --> 00:31:53.440 And what I've done 00:31:53.440 --> 00:31:54.700 is placed it in a book 00:31:54.700 --> 00:31:55.720 I always read. 00:31:56.159 --> 00:31:57.139 And I've been reminded 00:31:57.139 --> 00:31:58.099 when I look at that 00:31:58.099 --> 00:31:58.920 to pray for her. 00:31:59.539 --> 00:32:00.940 And maybe you need to stick a picture 00:32:00.940 --> 00:32:02.759 of a photo of your boss 00:32:02.759 --> 00:32:05.039 or your workplace, 00:32:05.920 --> 00:32:06.600 your wife, 00:32:07.340 --> 00:32:07.860 your husband, 00:32:08.000 --> 00:32:08.700 your child 00:32:08.700 --> 00:32:09.539 in that book. 00:32:09.620 --> 00:32:12.000 But maybe before you open Netflix 00:32:12.000 --> 00:32:13.120 and pray. 00:32:14.299 --> 00:32:15.820 Pray, pray, pray. 00:32:16.000 --> 00:32:18.160 Contend for the heart for the person 00:32:18.160 --> 00:32:19.700 that they might be so in awe 00:32:19.700 --> 00:32:21.640 and captivated by the Lord Jesus. 00:32:22.840 --> 00:32:23.880 Ask the Lord's help 00:32:23.880 --> 00:32:26.740 to be a self-emptying person 00:32:26.740 --> 00:32:28.240 like Christ 00:32:28.240 --> 00:32:30.859 and pray that God will enable you 00:32:30.859 --> 00:32:32.099 to live out the gospel 00:32:32.099 --> 00:32:33.559 in front of them 00:32:33.559 --> 00:32:35.480 so that they might see Christ 00:32:35.480 --> 00:32:36.720 greater and greater.