WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:12.000 I'm excited about this, and I'll tell you why. As we all gather here, and as Joe said, 00:00:12.000 --> 00:00:15.679 certain people like Dr. Trevor Chan don't need to be here on a Sunday morning, 00:00:15.859 --> 00:00:19.620 we're not for the fact that there's something that compels him. And so it's interesting to ask, 00:00:20.019 --> 00:00:24.620 why do we gather? And we do the mission statements not because we want to be legalistic and start 00:00:24.620 --> 00:00:30.059 something that sucks the life out of why we do Sunday mornings, but it's to remind us, it's to 00:00:30.059 --> 00:00:38.740 remind me why I'm here. Why are you here, risking breaching fire hazards as we pack this place? 00:00:39.420 --> 00:00:45.140 Why are you here? And we read the mission statements for that reason, and if I was to sum up the whole 00:00:45.140 --> 00:00:50.359 mission statement as to what it would be, it would be we gather for relationships. 00:00:51.440 --> 00:00:56.160 We gather for relationships. You know, there's churches that, again, great churches around that 00:00:56.160 --> 00:01:00.120 do different kinds of things and different kinds of ways of worship, but the one that I, 00:01:01.160 --> 00:01:06.060 maybe I'm least comfortable with, is when people walk into a room, a hall, and they sit, 00:01:06.060 --> 00:01:11.320 and they listen to a sermon, but they don't talk to anyone next to them, and then they leave. 00:01:12.040 --> 00:01:17.280 Have you been in one of those services? You literally go in, you sit, you watch the screen, 00:01:17.359 --> 00:01:22.939 and if you're late, you go into the overflow room, so you, you're late, so you deserve it, 00:01:23.000 --> 00:01:28.540 so you're in the overflow room, and you're just watching a screen, not talking to a single person, 00:01:28.540 --> 00:01:34.240 and then you leave. Hey, God, God works even through that. It's the word of God that's being 00:01:34.240 --> 00:01:41.000 preached, so that's good, but for me, man, I want to be able to talk to the people. I want to have 00:01:41.000 --> 00:01:46.160 gone to church and spend a few hours on a Sunday morning, and actually having spent time with people, 00:01:46.500 --> 00:01:50.900 and so those three mission statements are all about relationship. Number one, to know and enjoy him. 00:01:51.080 --> 00:01:57.540 We're here to gather for a relationship with him. Number two is we're here to gather for a relationship 00:01:57.540 --> 00:02:02.260 with each other, and number three, we're here to gather so that others may have a relationship with 00:02:02.260 --> 00:02:08.219 him, right? So that's one, two, and three, and that's why we do what we do, because we believe in the 00:02:08.219 --> 00:02:13.420 deepest part of our hearts that we're not supposed to do it alone. We're not supposed to do life alone. 00:02:13.819 --> 00:02:19.240 Now, why we're doing a series on relationship is as we learn to gather, we're with people, 00:02:19.759 --> 00:02:26.860 and people are problematic. This is not a perfect church. Why is it not a perfect church? Because you're in it. 00:02:27.539 --> 00:02:32.780 Because I'm in it. And I'm not perfect, and you're not perfect. And you come with your own problems, 00:02:32.859 --> 00:02:37.419 and I come with my own problems, and we come, and suddenly we're a happy family? Unlikely. 00:02:38.719 --> 00:02:47.099 When we say we want to be as one, it means something has to give. That's where relationships come in. 00:02:47.919 --> 00:02:52.379 The main priority that we have, that we have in our hearts, why we gather, is to make disciples of 00:02:52.379 --> 00:02:57.060 Jesus. Now, the question is, if the people that we're wanting to make disciples of Jesus 00:02:57.060 --> 00:03:01.840 have issues and challenges and obstacles that are standing in their way to stop them from being 00:03:01.840 --> 00:03:05.359 disciples of Jesus, then we need to talk about it. That's why we're talking about relationships, 00:03:05.620 --> 00:03:11.439 because relationships is the key thing that either hinders or helps someone's relationship with 00:03:11.439 --> 00:03:16.680 the church, and someone's relationship with God. That's why we're talking about relationships. 00:03:17.159 --> 00:03:19.340 And we're going to go through this series, and we're going to start with family, 00:03:19.340 --> 00:03:23.259 because that's the first relationship we know. And then we're going to talk about, 00:03:23.360 --> 00:03:28.780 actually, what does it mean to be a single person? What does it mean to actually live a life 00:03:28.780 --> 00:03:34.400 full of Jesus as your own individual? And then what does it mean to start dating? What does it mean 00:03:34.400 --> 00:03:39.780 to start getting married? What does it mean to have friends? We're asking this question because 00:03:39.780 --> 00:03:45.740 in order to make disciples, we have to get this relationship thing right. We're here, 00:03:45.740 --> 00:03:51.340 we gather for relationship. People have often said, we are a product of our relationships. 00:03:53.000 --> 00:03:58.480 Mine and Joe's mum is in Hong Kong right now. She decided not to come to listen to me preach, 00:03:58.500 --> 00:04:05.960 and she went over to the Chinese side. But if you meet her, and if you met our dad, you'll see, 00:04:06.120 --> 00:04:10.040 oh, there's good things we picked up from them, and there's also bad things that we picked up from 00:04:10.040 --> 00:04:14.820 them. The way we relate to people, the way we talk to people. Gabe said a few months ago, 00:04:14.819 --> 00:04:20.040 the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree. We're affected by our relationships within. 00:04:20.860 --> 00:04:23.639 Now, if we're going to be talking about relationships, we need to first understand 00:04:23.639 --> 00:04:28.079 that we are a product of our relationships, and also this church is a product of all the 00:04:28.079 --> 00:04:33.659 relationships here. This is not actually a unique thing just to Christians either. We all know, 00:04:34.039 --> 00:04:40.240 whole of humanity knows that we were not built to be alone, right? We're social beings. 00:04:40.240 --> 00:04:44.920 Politics. It comes with a lot of problems. Politics is the word that we use when we talk 00:04:44.920 --> 00:04:49.620 about those problems. But we are social beings. We're supposed to be together. In fact, I'll 00:04:49.620 --> 00:04:54.400 show you a couple of quotes. This is from an Indian philosopher who says this. No, this 00:04:54.400 --> 00:04:59.379 is not an Indian philosopher. This one is. Society is the product of relationship of yours 00:04:59.379 --> 00:05:06.519 and mine together. If we change in our relationship, society changes. This here, we are a product of, 00:05:06.519 --> 00:05:10.240 this church is a product of all the relationships that we have here. If our relationship changes, 00:05:10.299 --> 00:05:14.159 this church changes. This church is not the 14th floor. This church is not a building. This church 00:05:14.159 --> 00:05:18.680 is basically an amalgamation, a collection of all these relationships. There's another one, 00:05:18.740 --> 00:05:22.539 American businessman who was a Christian, Max Dupree, says this. He's talking about a company. I think 00:05:22.539 --> 00:05:27.019 his family ran a furniture company in the US, and he says this. We talk about the quality of product 00:05:27.019 --> 00:05:31.259 and service. What about the quality of our relationships and the quality of our communications 00:05:31.259 --> 00:05:38.899 and the quality of our promises to each other? What is the quality of this church? Thank the 00:05:38.899 --> 00:05:41.939 Lord Jesus that the quality of this church is not based on the quality of the preaching. 00:05:42.939 --> 00:05:48.519 Thank the Lord Jesus that the quality of this church is not based on the worship. The quality 00:05:48.519 --> 00:05:55.120 of this church is based on the relationships that we have, that we're here in this together. 00:05:55.120 --> 00:06:02.360 The question is, what does that mean? We have so many people in this city looking for community. 00:06:03.079 --> 00:06:08.980 We have that all the time, right? I don't have people around me. But here's the thing. Have 00:06:08.980 --> 00:06:13.220 you heard that quote, you want the truth, but you can't handle the truth? I said this last night to 00:06:13.220 --> 00:06:18.019 someone. I feel as though when it comes to the city, a lot of us want community, but we can't handle 00:06:18.019 --> 00:06:23.699 what it takes to build community. We say we want people around us. We want our bros. We want our 00:06:23.699 --> 00:06:27.719 sisters. We want our crew. We say we want community, but we can't handle what it takes to get community. 00:06:28.219 --> 00:06:32.479 Because once we start hanging out with people, which is what communities are made of, by the way, 00:06:33.579 --> 00:06:40.579 we end up going, oh, people are so annoying. And then we wonder why we don't have a community. 00:06:40.779 --> 00:06:47.180 Oh, I should go out to my midweek this Thursday night, but man, I'm just tired. So I'm not going to go. 00:06:47.180 --> 00:06:50.560 Oh, I don't have anyone. I don't know anyone there anymore. 00:06:52.280 --> 00:06:58.819 This issue, this issue of trying to find community I know is hard. I'm not also saying here that we're 00:06:58.819 --> 00:07:03.800 going to have all the answers. But what I am trying to do is go, let's talk about this. Let's talk about 00:07:03.800 --> 00:07:11.620 why it's hard. And the first one to start with is the issue of family. Because family is how we learn 00:07:11.620 --> 00:07:18.819 to relate to people from the very beginning. If we were created to be social beings, we, Genesis 126 00:07:18.819 --> 00:07:25.480 says we, actually the Trinity, the unity says, let us make man in our image. Let us, Father, Son, and 00:07:25.480 --> 00:07:32.139 Spirit, let us make man in our image. We came from community. From a biological, physical standpoint, 00:07:32.139 --> 00:07:39.759 every single person here came from two people in relationship. We were made from community and we 00:07:39.759 --> 00:07:45.319 were made for community. Recently we had our dear Jojo, Young Life staff. It's her birthday, 00:07:45.579 --> 00:07:51.839 birthday party today. The big three. You're all invited. Is that okay? Everyone's invited. 00:07:52.240 --> 00:07:59.519 Everyone's invited. Here at 5pm. And to celebrate her coming of age 30, we decided to honour the next 00:07:59.519 --> 00:08:07.599 season of life that she was moving in, which is old age. And the Young Life staff, we had a meeting. 00:08:07.600 --> 00:08:10.379 We were supposed to have a meeting. We were like, you know what? Let's just take her out for a 00:08:10.379 --> 00:08:14.420 breakfast. And we went to yum cha. And it was great. And it was fun. And we walked in and 00:08:14.420 --> 00:08:22.160 there's just, I'm like, Jojo, there's so many of your people. Just gray hair. And then it was 00:08:22.160 --> 00:08:29.260 fascinating. And I'm like, wow, so many people have this routine and this habit in Hong Kong every 00:08:29.259 --> 00:08:36.399 morning to go yum cha. It's a thing. And then Aaron, what was it that you said? Actually, this 00:08:36.399 --> 00:08:45.039 is how people stay alive. And this is how people live to an ripe old age. Why? Community. 00:08:46.120 --> 00:08:52.120 Because there's people that they can get up for. There is dim sum that they can get up for to enjoy 00:08:52.120 --> 00:08:55.860 with people. And we were talking about the Netflix show, Live 200, which we've talked about, right? 00:08:55.860 --> 00:08:59.620 Like the centenarians around the world and all these different places, Okinawa and all 00:08:59.620 --> 00:09:04.700 these other places. Why do they live to such a ripe old age? Why? Because of community. 00:09:05.419 --> 00:09:12.680 So even though we hate community, it's all we can't live with or without them. So we better 00:09:12.680 --> 00:09:18.600 learn to live with each other in some way, with all our annoyances, with all our grievances. 00:09:19.340 --> 00:09:24.320 But first it starts with actually how aware are we of ourselves when it comes to relationship? 00:09:24.320 --> 00:09:30.940 Quban, actually, we were talking about this. Now, how am I going to do this without messing 00:09:30.940 --> 00:09:36.540 up my slides? You know what? I cannot. What if I did this? Can you all see my screen? Oh, 00:09:36.540 --> 00:09:39.900 you can. Never mind. We're just going to keep doing this. Oh, creative kids. Thank you. 00:09:41.140 --> 00:09:45.560 We were talking about Quban and he emailed me this. And I thought it's really interesting. 00:09:45.660 --> 00:09:47.460 Actually, this is quite a cool way to do this. 00:09:47.460 --> 00:09:54.519 The five lessons from a conversation with a world renowned happiness expert. And it talked 00:09:54.519 --> 00:09:58.139 about the five lessons, which summarized here. Relationship satisfaction impacts health. 00:09:58.639 --> 00:10:04.680 Loneliness kills. Make social fitness a priority. Check your energy to improve your life. And 00:10:04.680 --> 00:10:10.080 ambivalent relationships are the most toxic, which is very interesting. I think there was 00:10:10.080 --> 00:10:16.120 a quote. There's a stat down here. Relationship satisfaction at age 50 was the single greatest predictor 00:10:16.120 --> 00:10:26.120 of physical health at age 80. What? Relationship satisfaction at age 50 was the single greatest 00:10:26.120 --> 00:10:33.879 predictor of physical health at age 80. Relationship satisfaction was a more effective predictor of 00:10:33.879 --> 00:10:38.580 health at age 80 than cholesterol, blood pressure, or any other health marker. Loneliness kills. 00:10:39.679 --> 00:10:43.519 The amount of time teenagers are spending in person with their friends is down 70% over the 00:10:43.519 --> 00:10:49.579 last two decades. Loneliness is killing. Lacking social connection is as dangerous as smoking up to 00:10:49.579 --> 00:10:55.000 15 cigarettes a day. Wow, you guys never say this when I'm preaching about the word of God. 00:10:57.639 --> 00:11:04.980 Make social fitness a priority. Check your energy to improve. And the rest of them we don't want to 00:11:04.980 --> 00:11:14.399 talk about. Okay, so I'm going to try and get back to here. Here we go. We all crave connection. We all crave 00:11:14.399 --> 00:11:19.080 communion. Maybe one of my favorite writers of all time is Henry Nowen, and he talks about this. And one 00:11:19.080 --> 00:11:24.159 of his journal entries I wanted to share with you today is called Continue Seeking Communion. I want 00:11:24.159 --> 00:11:33.340 to read out. A desire for communion has been part of you since you were born. The pain of separation 00:11:33.340 --> 00:11:38.420 which you experienced as a child and continue to experience now reveals to you this deep hunger. 00:11:39.060 --> 00:11:43.300 All your life you have searched for a communion that would break your fear of death. This is him 00:11:43.300 --> 00:11:49.379 writing to himself, by the way. This is his kind of personal journal. All your life you have searched 00:11:49.379 --> 00:11:53.500 for a communion that would break your fear of death. This desire is sincere. Don't look on it as an 00:11:53.500 --> 00:11:58.320 expression of your neediness or as a symptom of your neurosis. It comes from God and is part of your 00:11:58.320 --> 00:12:04.620 vocation. Nonetheless, your fear of abandonment and rejection is so intense that your search for 00:12:04.620 --> 00:12:09.220 communion is often replaced by a longing for concrete expressions of friendship or affection. 00:12:09.760 --> 00:12:15.980 You want deep communion, but you end up looking for invitations, letters, phone calls, gifts, and 00:12:15.980 --> 00:12:22.060 similar gestures. Maybe in this day and age it would be social media likes, friends, approval from work, 00:12:22.120 --> 00:12:26.820 all these kinds of things. When these do not come in the way you wish, you start distrusting your deep 00:12:26.820 --> 00:12:32.300 desire for communion. Your search for communion often takes place too far from where true communion 00:12:32.300 --> 00:12:41.680 can be found. Isn't that us? Isn't that you? It's definitely me. Always in search for communion, 00:12:42.020 --> 00:12:47.260 always in search, not knowing that actually there is a real need inside me that can't be satisfied by 00:12:47.260 --> 00:12:52.280 you, but we have to learn to live together. And by living together and being a community together, 00:12:52.279 --> 00:12:58.699 we can reflect God's love and thereby be satisfied. So the first one that we're going to talk about is 00:12:58.699 --> 00:13:05.100 family. Family is incredibly tricky. We're not going to spend a ton of weeks talking about family, 00:13:05.179 --> 00:13:10.720 even though we really could. But my question to you is this, how has your relationship with your 00:13:10.720 --> 00:13:19.000 family affected your relationship with other people? How has your relationship with your family affected 00:13:19.000 --> 00:13:27.820 how you relate to the people in the church, to God? Do you have commitment issues? Do you have trust 00:13:27.820 --> 00:13:34.960 issues? Do you have feelings of abandonment that are then passed on to your relationship with your 00:13:34.960 --> 00:13:40.680 friends? Do you come into a church community with incredibly high expectations of what family 00:13:40.679 --> 00:13:45.779 should be like? Because it's either what you experienced yourself or it's what you haven't 00:13:45.779 --> 00:13:52.299 experienced, so you're chasing after it. And then you find out that actually people aren't perfect and 00:13:52.299 --> 00:14:00.459 they're not satisfying your need for family. And so you start distrusting. What is your relationship? 00:14:01.019 --> 00:14:06.399 How has your relationship with your family impacted how you relate to others? Even as Trevor was saying 00:14:06.399 --> 00:14:14.959 why he's impacted by his family, how his parents brought him up, how he saw them love other people 00:14:14.959 --> 00:14:23.019 impacts the way he tries to love other people too. What about you? As a parent, this terrifies me 00:14:23.019 --> 00:14:29.679 because it means that what I say and what I do has a huge impact on my kids. And that terrifies me 00:14:29.679 --> 00:14:36.159 because I have bad days. Out of seven days, I probably have four bad days. And so, and I'll say 00:14:36.159 --> 00:14:42.399 things, I'm like, man, you're such a jerk to your kids. You just said that, oh man, that could scar them 00:14:42.399 --> 00:14:49.120 for life. And then I look at the Bible and I'm like, okay, let me see, find some good examples of 00:14:49.120 --> 00:14:54.399 parenting in the Bible. And you realize there are not that many good examples of good parents in the 00:14:54.399 --> 00:15:04.139 Bible, right? David, King David, his son tried to kill him. And David himself was forgotten by his dad 00:15:04.139 --> 00:15:09.799 when his dad was introducing who potentially who wanted, which one of his sons could be the next 00:15:09.799 --> 00:15:13.639 king. And he completely forgot about little David who's out in the field. So David probably grew up 00:15:13.639 --> 00:15:19.579 with neglect. And then you look at Noah, the righteous man, the only family that deserved to survive and 00:15:19.580 --> 00:15:26.300 live, ends up finding himself drunk and naked for his kids to find him. That's pretty messed up. 00:15:26.720 --> 00:15:32.740 Jacob, Jacob, the deceiver, had favorites. He had a favorite wife. He had a favorite son. 00:15:33.240 --> 00:15:37.540 He ended up raising a spoiled brat who would share his dreams with his brothers and then get himself 00:15:37.540 --> 00:15:44.440 into trouble and get him sold to slavery. It's not a pretty picture when it comes to parenting in the 00:15:44.440 --> 00:15:48.400 Bible. And what you find is this is not an instruction manual for parents necessarily. 00:15:48.820 --> 00:15:58.080 It is just a graveyard of dysfunctional families and bad parenting and the vicious cycles that come 00:15:58.080 --> 00:16:05.000 with that. It brings me some comfort in some ways that I qualified to be in the Bible. 00:16:05.000 --> 00:16:13.220 But man, does that scare me. Does that scare me that how I parent my kids, how I disciple my kids 00:16:13.220 --> 00:16:19.899 could have a long lasting effect on them. And actually, so one of the things about going through 00:16:19.899 --> 00:16:24.399 this is I didn't want you just to hear from me. Because when it comes to relationship, we're a 00:16:24.399 --> 00:16:28.899 product of all of our relationships. And I think there's people here in this community that actually 00:16:28.899 --> 00:16:33.220 have things to share that I think would be good, both positive experiences and both negative 00:16:33.220 --> 00:16:38.360 experiences. And I'm seeing it as a chance to actually spotlight different people in this 00:16:38.360 --> 00:16:43.440 community for you to hear a little bit about their story as well. Trust me, it's taken as much 00:16:43.440 --> 00:16:47.519 harder than I realized trying to navigate people's schedules and which days they can do. And so 00:16:47.519 --> 00:16:51.440 actually the topics of friendship and singleness I've had to rejig because the people I've asked 00:16:51.440 --> 00:16:56.019 to share can't make certain weeks. But today is a good one. Today is about family. And actually, 00:16:56.399 --> 00:17:01.519 our dear Cubon, I'll invite you right now, Cubon. Maybe you can just bring that stool and just 00:17:01.519 --> 00:17:07.359 plunk yourself right here. Those of you who don't know, Cubon's here because of family. 00:17:08.400 --> 00:17:15.720 Cubon's here because he's pursuing family. Because he comes from a less than positive experience of 00:17:15.720 --> 00:17:21.339 family and he's here to pursue it. And I wanted to ask him this simple question is, how does your 00:17:21.339 --> 00:17:26.599 relationship with your family and the upbringing that you've had impact the way you relate to us? 00:17:26.599 --> 00:17:28.599 Can we give him a round of applause? 00:17:33.359 --> 00:17:39.779 Great question. Thank you, James. I could talk forever about this stuff. And I'll give you guys 00:17:39.779 --> 00:17:43.839 a little bit of background first. And my dad is one of the dudes that swam to Hong Kong from China to 00:17:43.839 --> 00:17:50.679 escape communism during the Cultural Revolution. And he came here with nothing, met my mom, had a kid, 00:17:50.680 --> 00:17:57.039 which is my sister. And right before the handover, they moved to the U.S. and they had a lot of money 00:17:57.039 --> 00:18:05.500 saved up. We had some family friends in Ohio, where I'm from, who said, why don't you just take a stop 00:18:05.500 --> 00:18:08.980 there where you can get settled down before you move to California where all the other Asians are? 00:18:10.259 --> 00:18:15.220 So we did that. My parents did that. But the family friend said, all that money you're bringing in 00:18:15.220 --> 00:18:20.700 is dangerous. You can't bring all that money in because America is dangerous. Give it to us and 00:18:20.700 --> 00:18:24.700 we'll keep it safe. So they did that. They took all the money and then they fled to California. 00:18:25.319 --> 00:18:30.079 So that's why I'm from Ohio. We had no choice but to grow up there. My parents didn't speak any 00:18:30.079 --> 00:18:36.259 English or anything. So they had to work immigrant jobs and had to feed two more kids that came on the 00:18:36.259 --> 00:18:43.640 way. So it was tough growing up, tough with the parents that just yelled all the time. And that was my 00:18:43.640 --> 00:18:51.860 definition of love. Two people fighting physically and emotionally all the time. So as a kid growing 00:18:51.860 --> 00:18:58.460 up and witnessing that, I felt so powerless. There was nothing that I could do to make that better. 00:18:59.220 --> 00:19:02.340 And not only did I not have the courage to go up to my dad and say, like, stop fighting, 00:19:03.040 --> 00:19:11.520 I also felt as though maybe if I wasn't there, they would be happier. They would have one less mouth to 00:19:11.519 --> 00:19:19.879 feed. And then I realized all these things went into the way I behaved. I hated feeling powerless. 00:19:20.319 --> 00:19:26.019 I hated feeling like I wasn't a value add, even to small things like playing on the worship team or 00:19:26.019 --> 00:19:31.720 playing spike ball. If anybody's played spike ball or volleyball with me and we're doing poorly, 00:19:32.119 --> 00:19:40.200 I get pretty frustrated because I want to do well. I want to show people that I am a positive 00:19:40.200 --> 00:19:46.000 contribution to their life. Because with my parents, it wasn't like that. It seemed as though that they 00:19:46.000 --> 00:19:54.120 would have been better without me. And then not only that, I learned to quiet my desires and my needs. 00:19:56.519 --> 00:20:02.880 I would tell myself, like, okay, I'm just not going to eat for these couple of days to prove to myself 00:20:02.880 --> 00:20:09.460 that I don't need food to show that my desires are so small that I will never be a burden to anybody. 00:20:09.960 --> 00:20:12.600 Or something as small as, like, I don't need to use shampoo. 00:20:13.600 --> 00:20:25.220 Or, or, or, or like, I don't need to use a towel after I take a shower. That's the toughest part. 00:20:25.220 --> 00:20:31.839 Or, or maybe like, I, I can go long, long periods of time with wearing only a couple of shirts, which maybe you guys have noticed. 00:20:34.500 --> 00:20:41.259 So it's crazy how much our parents influence the way that we treat each other and treat the wider community. 00:20:41.980 --> 00:20:50.319 And how does this community and how does the gospel then kind of help you change and kind of face some of those obstacles that you have in your mind? 00:20:50.319 --> 00:20:56.619 Yeah, it helps in a lot of ways. There's a lot of obstacles. Firstly, when this person of Jesus entered my life, 00:20:56.659 --> 00:21:04.319 it was odd because I did nothing to earn his love, which was the weirdest and still is a very hard to grasp concept. 00:21:05.179 --> 00:21:10.460 Since there's a lot of people maybe in this room and also in my life that I don't love because they haven't earned it. 00:21:10.799 --> 00:21:12.819 They haven't proven to me that they're worth loving. 00:21:13.279 --> 00:21:15.579 Same with my, myself and my parents. 00:21:15.579 --> 00:21:19.519 They're supposed to love me as their, as the mom and dad, but how come they didn't? 00:21:19.779 --> 00:21:22.419 Or how come they did it so poorly because I didn't do anything to earn it? 00:21:22.899 --> 00:21:28.240 So when this Jesus comes in and says like, Hey, you did nothing to deserve this. 00:21:28.720 --> 00:21:38.759 That was radical and really helped me to try to believe that truth that I'm loved despite nothing I've done, which is hard. 00:21:39.139 --> 00:21:42.740 I struggle to love people like that everywhere, everywhere and anybody. 00:21:42.740 --> 00:21:43.220 Yeah. 00:21:44.680 --> 00:21:55.620 One final thing. What's, what's something that we as a community around you should be aware of in terms of how, how you receive love and how you kind of give love? 00:21:55.720 --> 00:21:57.039 Because I think we all do it different ways, right? 00:21:57.539 --> 00:21:58.599 And that is a good question. 00:21:59.039 --> 00:22:07.339 So, so in the beginning stages of the gathering, I was not, maybe not self-appointed. 00:22:07.339 --> 00:22:10.919 I was the appointed social chair, right? Because I wanted people to feel included. 00:22:11.059 --> 00:22:14.939 I wanted people to know that I'm helping people have a good time around here. 00:22:15.000 --> 00:22:19.699 I'm planning all these things, planning trips, whatever, so people can have a good time, which can make it so that I, this is such a small thing. 00:22:19.839 --> 00:22:22.119 I can make it so that I don't enjoy it as much. 00:22:22.779 --> 00:22:30.819 Something as small as when I, last year on my birthday, we planned this big party and Francis came up to me and said, Hey, I need you to enjoy this. 00:22:31.379 --> 00:22:33.799 That just was really loving for him to do that to me. 00:22:33.799 --> 00:22:42.799 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. We love you. And yeah, thank you. It's a joy to be part of your family. 00:22:43.139 --> 00:22:50.819 It was even more joyful. A couple of weeks ago, we had Kumon's mom come and visit and she'd not been in Hong Kong for all those years. 00:22:51.379 --> 00:23:00.159 And she found it really enjoyable to be part of this family too. We enjoyed having her and it was a real blessing for her to actually for her. 00:23:00.160 --> 00:23:06.460 But she told me, she was like, I had no idea why my son was in Hong Kong and what he was doing here, whether he had a job or whether he had friends. 00:23:06.800 --> 00:23:11.140 And then he finally, she got here and she's like, Oh, at least she has, he has a church and a family here. 00:23:11.220 --> 00:23:15.180 And that just, that just kind of softened her heart and just filled her with joy. 00:23:15.180 --> 00:23:18.720 So, and we were glad to be able to tell her that her son's on a bum. 00:23:19.220 --> 00:23:22.740 He does have a, he does have a job and he does have some friends as well. 00:23:22.820 --> 00:23:24.660 So, and a family. Yeah. So thank you, Kumon. 00:23:24.740 --> 00:23:25.700 Round of applause for Kumon. 00:23:25.700 --> 00:23:26.040 Thank you. 00:23:26.040 --> 00:23:26.080 Thank you. 00:23:26.080 --> 00:23:26.120 Thank you. 00:23:26.120 --> 00:23:26.120 00:23:26.120 --> 00:23:26.620 Thank you. 00:23:26.620 --> 00:23:26.620 00:23:26.620 --> 00:23:26.620 00:23:26.620 --> 00:23:26.620 00:23:26.620 --> 00:23:26.620 00:23:26.620 --> 00:23:26.620 00:23:26.620 --> 00:23:26.620 00:23:26.620 --> 00:23:26.620 00:23:26.619 --> 00:23:48.859 You can see the effects that what it's like to have from the moment we're born, because we were conceived through communion and a baby in a mother's womb is just connected and then they come out and then they cry. 00:23:48.859 --> 00:23:56.059 And from that moment of separation, we've been trying to get communion, trying to find connection with people. 00:23:56.619 --> 00:23:59.099 And you, and you can see the effect that that can have. 00:23:59.099 --> 00:24:06.599 And as Christina and I often share, actually for Alicia, she spent her first month in hospital when she was a tiny, tiny thing in the neonatal ward. 00:24:07.179 --> 00:24:09.500 And we, and actually she didn't have anyone. 00:24:09.619 --> 00:24:12.599 She'd scream and cry and she was extremely loud, but we weren't there. 00:24:12.659 --> 00:24:13.659 We weren't allowed to be there. 00:24:14.519 --> 00:24:16.419 And actually we can see the effects that that has. 00:24:16.500 --> 00:24:18.500 And she doesn't like playing alone now. 00:24:18.679 --> 00:24:21.539 She likes to always be with people. 00:24:21.539 --> 00:24:32.559 We can see even from a very young age and then all our childhood and then all our teen years, how our relationship with our family impacts how we relate to others, how we want to relate to others, how we don't want to relate to others. 00:24:32.799 --> 00:24:39.420 And as I said, this Bible is, shows us so many examples of the depravity of man, how we're all imperfect. 00:24:39.779 --> 00:24:43.440 Even the great ones, even the righteous ones have problems when it comes to family. 00:24:43.440 --> 00:24:45.539 But I did find one good one. 00:24:46.000 --> 00:24:49.920 I did find one good one that actually really encouraged me and has always encouraged me. 00:24:50.240 --> 00:24:52.120 It's 2 Timothy 1.5. 00:24:52.299 --> 00:24:54.559 Paul's writing to his Timothy, his mentee. 00:24:55.000 --> 00:24:58.220 And he says this line that really just caught me. 00:24:58.580 --> 00:25:00.600 And it's this, and I've loved this for a number of years now. 00:25:01.019 --> 00:25:07.720 He's writing to Timothy and he says, I'm reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother's Lois and your mother Eunice. 00:25:07.799 --> 00:25:11.259 And now I'm sure dwells in you as well. 00:25:11.259 --> 00:25:13.339 So we all know Timothy. 00:25:14.240 --> 00:25:15.799 Timothy is a fascinating character. 00:25:16.019 --> 00:25:18.579 We hear about him in Acts 16 where he's a teenager. 00:25:19.059 --> 00:25:19.740 He's a teenager. 00:25:19.859 --> 00:25:20.559 He's a young person. 00:25:21.039 --> 00:25:28.900 Paul, the greatest church planter of all time, comes through town, sees this teenager and goes, I want to take you under my wing. 00:25:29.259 --> 00:25:30.599 I want you to travel with me. 00:25:31.879 --> 00:25:33.400 And he sees something in Timothy. 00:25:33.519 --> 00:25:36.220 And here we see he sees a sincere faith. 00:25:36.519 --> 00:25:37.359 Timothy's fascinating. 00:25:37.359 --> 00:25:43.679 And I think some of you will really enjoy hearing about Timothy because he was essentially a second or third generation Christian. 00:25:44.099 --> 00:25:47.119 So, of course, he's got his mother and his grandmother going to church with them. 00:25:47.619 --> 00:25:49.799 His dad was actually a Greek, so he was bicultural. 00:25:50.419 --> 00:25:53.419 There's no mention of his dad really much. 00:25:53.420 --> 00:26:02.940 But you see this second, third generation Christian, bicultural kid who gets taken by Paul and ends up being the leader of the church in Ephesus. 00:26:03.920 --> 00:26:07.240 And it's fascinating because it starts with his grandmother and then it starts with his mother. 00:26:07.860 --> 00:26:11.440 And what I really like about this is that he has a sincere faith. 00:26:12.500 --> 00:26:14.620 I'm like, man, there's a family. 00:26:15.000 --> 00:26:16.700 Now, I don't know what the challenges were in that family. 00:26:17.299 --> 00:26:19.299 But somehow that was passed along. 00:26:20.660 --> 00:26:23.120 That had a positive effect on Timothy. 00:26:23.420 --> 00:26:24.500 Now, he was still timid. 00:26:26.120 --> 00:26:30.759 But he had a sincere faith that Paul really chose and really mentored and grew. 00:26:31.180 --> 00:26:31.819 And that's fascinating. 00:26:31.940 --> 00:26:38.720 And I want to bring someone else up because when I think about sincere faith, there's someone here that actually I'm reminded of that sincere faith. 00:26:38.940 --> 00:26:39.960 And that's actually Agnes. 00:26:40.400 --> 00:26:41.559 And I wanted to bring her up. 00:26:41.559 --> 00:26:45.640 Now, just a word of prep for you about Agnes. 00:26:45.640 --> 00:26:47.960 She is one of the deacons here in this church. 00:26:48.040 --> 00:26:48.620 And she's been a deacon. 00:26:48.720 --> 00:26:50.640 How many years have you been a deacon for, Agnes? 00:26:52.940 --> 00:26:53.620 11 years. 00:26:53.700 --> 00:26:54.360 Probably 11 years. 00:26:55.320 --> 00:26:58.420 And she's told me before that she really doesn't like public speaking. 00:26:59.620 --> 00:27:03.080 And so I decided, well, can I invite you up to do some public speaking? 00:27:04.840 --> 00:27:07.720 And so here I have so much admiration for Agnes. 00:27:07.960 --> 00:27:09.180 Can we give her a round of applause? 00:27:09.180 --> 00:27:09.580 Thank you. 00:27:09.579 --> 00:27:28.859 What's really funny is when Christina and I were still in England and we were talking at that moment about potentially coming to Hong Kong and had some interviews with this whole deacons board on Zoom for Kong Folk. 00:27:28.859 --> 00:27:34.679 And then this lady, Agnes, messages me afterwards and says, are you sure you actually want to come to Hong Kong? 00:27:34.979 --> 00:27:36.779 Is this something that you actually want to do? 00:27:37.459 --> 00:27:38.479 And I was like, well, I don't know. 00:27:38.779 --> 00:27:39.899 I think it's what God wants to do. 00:27:40.319 --> 00:27:41.719 And then she said, I'll help you. 00:27:42.219 --> 00:27:44.139 And then I said, oh, actually. 00:27:44.979 --> 00:27:46.339 And then we started to progress. 00:27:46.459 --> 00:27:47.599 And, OK, it looks like we're going to come over. 00:27:47.679 --> 00:27:48.919 She was like, well, you need to find somewhere to live. 00:27:49.359 --> 00:27:52.759 Then I said, I don't know anywhere in Hong Kong about where to live and all that kind of thing. 00:27:52.779 --> 00:27:53.299 Can you help me? 00:27:53.659 --> 00:27:54.439 So, yeah, I can help you. 00:27:54.960 --> 00:27:57.240 And so Agnes is the first person that I put in touch. 00:27:57.299 --> 00:28:00.840 And I said, oh, actually, I have a brother, albeit useless brother, in Hong Kong. 00:28:01.680 --> 00:28:06.140 I said, I have a brother here who actually maybe can help in some way. 00:28:06.440 --> 00:28:09.779 But you have to really carry him, just like I've carried him for all these years. 00:28:10.019 --> 00:28:11.680 You're going to have to carry him and really help him. 00:28:12.000 --> 00:28:15.900 So then I said, Joe, can you go and meet this lady called Agnes at the MTI? 00:28:15.900 --> 00:28:17.740 And she's going to take you to a place called TKO. 00:28:17.940 --> 00:28:19.279 And she said there's some good flats there. 00:28:19.420 --> 00:28:20.380 And can you just do that? 00:28:20.380 --> 00:28:29.460 And so one of the first pictures I have of just the whole Hong Kong journey is a picture of Agnes and Joe and just trying to find us a flat. 00:28:30.120 --> 00:28:34.940 And it ends up being just the Lord's provision throughout all of it, right? 00:28:35.500 --> 00:28:43.880 And because now not only did she find me a flat, she also took my brother off me, which is like seriously so good, so good. 00:28:44.100 --> 00:28:45.620 I am forever in her debt. 00:28:45.619 --> 00:28:52.659 And so what I'll tell you is, man, sincere faith. 00:28:53.599 --> 00:28:54.259 Sincere faith. 00:28:54.859 --> 00:28:58.899 And I often say this and I tell people who aren't part of Kung Fu Church, who don't know the deacons, 00:28:58.939 --> 00:29:03.359 and you have this image of what a deacons board for a mega conservative Chinese church looks like. 00:29:03.979 --> 00:29:11.879 You have this image that they meet in a dark room and they just scheme and talk and just hate people and hate life and hate joy. 00:29:11.880 --> 00:29:15.040 And of course, that is completely, couldn't be further from the truth. 00:29:17.340 --> 00:29:26.220 And she's been a huge blessing to her and this sincere faith that has then passed on to her daughter, Alex, and of course, her daughter, Sam as well. 00:29:26.240 --> 00:29:36.920 And I wanted to invite her up just to hear how has your relationship with your family impacted how you pray for and how you disciple your daughters and go from there? 00:29:36.920 --> 00:29:43.779 And sorry, I think the Holy Spirit has been filling me since he talked about family relationship. 00:29:43.980 --> 00:29:47.420 My tears just keep coming as soon as he stopped talking. 00:29:48.039 --> 00:29:54.060 So it's a very dear in my heart, this family relationship topic, you know. 00:29:55.100 --> 00:29:59.539 Okay, give you, like Cuban, I want to give you some background of me. 00:29:59.539 --> 00:30:10.059 I have, you know, my parents and also I have four siblings, but one passed away about 15, 20 years ago because of ALS. 00:30:11.519 --> 00:30:18.579 My family, you know, my mother was a faithful, faithful, not Christian, Buddhist, you know. 00:30:18.680 --> 00:30:26.680 One of those that, you know, even you have, you know, your own name and with, you know, like you have your clothes, your gasa. 00:30:26.779 --> 00:30:27.779 I don't know what it is. 00:30:27.779 --> 00:30:37.339 But my mother impacted me a lot growing up because my mother, like even though she worked three jobs, 00:30:37.819 --> 00:30:45.480 she will make sure that all my relatives at home playing mahjong, waiting for her to come home after her third job, 00:30:46.339 --> 00:30:53.399 getting all the grocery and then feeding, you know, every week, you know, 10, 15 people. 00:30:53.400 --> 00:30:59.560 So that's the way I see my family when I was growing up. 00:30:59.960 --> 00:31:05.380 Even though she was, she and my father, you know, she was just very critical of my father. 00:31:05.620 --> 00:31:06.480 They argue a lot. 00:31:06.480 --> 00:31:15.160 But she has, you know, the most love with all her family, you know, like my father's family, her own family. 00:31:15.360 --> 00:31:16.180 That's her focus. 00:31:16.180 --> 00:31:26.019 So that gave me, I think that got passed down, that value got passed down to me and then I think now to Alex and Sam. 00:31:26.580 --> 00:31:26.820 Okay. 00:31:26.880 --> 00:31:33.620 Even though she was not a Christian then, but before she passed away, she was a Christian. 00:31:33.619 --> 00:31:41.699 But there's another impact is that she was critical to my father more than us. 00:31:42.299 --> 00:31:43.379 So it's the same. 00:31:43.719 --> 00:31:44.659 I learned that also. 00:31:45.179 --> 00:31:45.459 Okay. 00:31:46.019 --> 00:31:47.579 I picked that up also. 00:31:47.779 --> 00:31:50.899 So it's not what you say. 00:31:51.099 --> 00:31:54.519 It's what you see your parents doing. 00:31:55.139 --> 00:31:55.399 Okay. 00:31:55.459 --> 00:31:57.759 You end up picking that same thing also. 00:31:57.759 --> 00:32:10.359 So then, okay, then about faith, okay, I have a Lois and Eunice also, but not from my parents, but from Vincent's family. 00:32:10.960 --> 00:32:18.779 She has the most, he has the most grateful grandmother, faithful grandmother, great grandmother. 00:32:18.779 --> 00:32:19.059 Okay. 00:32:19.700 --> 00:32:23.740 His grandmother, Sam's and Alex's great grandmother. 00:32:23.740 --> 00:32:30.259 She just celebrated her 102 years old birthday yesterday in New York. 00:32:30.400 --> 00:32:30.839 Okay. 00:32:31.240 --> 00:32:37.940 She lives alone in New York in an apartment with some help during the day and that's all. 00:32:38.460 --> 00:32:45.880 One time, two years ago, she, at night when the helper all gone, she was alone. 00:32:46.160 --> 00:32:46.819 She fell down. 00:32:46.819 --> 00:32:57.299 And she, all she did was she was praying, hallelujah, praise the Lord, hallelujah, praise the Lord, fool out when she was lying down. 00:32:57.679 --> 00:32:57.859 Okay. 00:32:57.919 --> 00:32:58.259 To fall. 00:32:58.679 --> 00:33:12.220 Then it ended up somebody passed by the hallway and heard her, keeps mumbling something, you know, and then call, you know, the building security and saved her. 00:33:12.960 --> 00:33:13.259 Okay. 00:33:13.259 --> 00:33:13.299 Okay. 00:33:13.720 --> 00:33:15.559 And that's what she, that's her. 00:33:15.980 --> 00:33:16.240 Okay. 00:33:16.740 --> 00:33:19.940 And then my mother-in-law. 00:33:20.259 --> 00:33:20.619 Okay. 00:33:21.180 --> 00:33:23.099 Actually, I seldom share this. 00:33:23.799 --> 00:33:27.740 My mother-in-law was a Christian. 00:33:28.619 --> 00:33:29.879 You know, she passed away already. 00:33:31.200 --> 00:33:34.140 After I got married with Vincent. 00:33:34.140 --> 00:33:39.980 She has some major, back then she has some major, major life setback. 00:33:40.800 --> 00:33:44.759 Her husband lost all her business, you know, my, my, my father-in-law. 00:33:45.020 --> 00:33:48.940 And then, and, and she got cancer and stuff like that. 00:33:50.080 --> 00:33:54.500 I was looking at her and make me, back then I was not a Christian. 00:33:55.020 --> 00:34:00.020 Then I was thinking, hmm, how come she has this kind of faith and endurance? 00:34:00.019 --> 00:34:01.019 Okay. 00:34:01.639 --> 00:34:03.559 Make me, okay. 00:34:03.980 --> 00:34:09.400 I think out of curiosity and, you know, I start, you know, thinking about the faith. 00:34:09.900 --> 00:34:13.679 So that's an impact to my life. 00:34:13.679 --> 00:34:18.139 And even when I was in my Baptist sharing, I shared that too. 00:34:18.739 --> 00:34:18.879 Okay. 00:34:19.639 --> 00:34:21.319 It was from my mother-in-law. 00:34:21.899 --> 00:34:22.019 Okay. 00:34:22.599 --> 00:34:26.679 And, okay, talking about my prayers for my daughter. 00:34:27.440 --> 00:34:30.099 In the recent year, I shared with a lot of people. 00:34:30.339 --> 00:34:33.879 I have number one and number two prayer for my two daughters. 00:34:34.299 --> 00:34:39.539 Number one prayer, you know, Sam was, both Sam and Alex was brought up in church. 00:34:39.539 --> 00:34:39.820 Okay. 00:34:40.539 --> 00:34:46.039 So they have the seed, you know, the God's seed, the gospel seed in their heart. 00:34:46.239 --> 00:34:53.800 But after Sam went to the U.S. in university, she was formally denouncing her faith. 00:34:53.920 --> 00:34:55.039 I said, I don't believe anymore. 00:34:55.440 --> 00:34:55.639 Okay. 00:34:55.840 --> 00:35:00.980 So in my life, that's my number one prayer for her salvation. 00:35:01.599 --> 00:35:02.779 It has been so long. 00:35:02.780 --> 00:35:08.280 So usually, you know, as a mother, you know, all you young people, usually you hear nagging, 00:35:08.540 --> 00:35:10.080 go to church, go to church, go to church. 00:35:10.400 --> 00:35:11.560 And I did the same thing. 00:35:12.019 --> 00:35:12.300 Okay. 00:35:12.620 --> 00:35:16.680 So the more I said that, the more she didn't want to go. 00:35:17.019 --> 00:35:17.280 Okay. 00:35:18.019 --> 00:35:20.340 Then later on, I realized that. 00:35:20.540 --> 00:35:23.680 Then in the recent year, I just prayed for her. 00:35:24.180 --> 00:35:24.560 Okay. 00:35:24.559 --> 00:35:28.559 And then number two prayer, okay, for Alex. 00:35:28.779 --> 00:35:30.840 And Sam has a fiance. 00:35:31.019 --> 00:35:32.759 Then I start praying for Alex. 00:35:33.360 --> 00:35:36.039 You know, why number two prayer? 00:35:36.099 --> 00:35:37.039 You don't have to get married. 00:35:37.480 --> 00:35:38.400 So it's a number two. 00:35:38.619 --> 00:35:39.739 Salvation is number one. 00:35:40.119 --> 00:35:44.759 And then pray for God giving her a Christ-loving husband or partner. 00:35:45.559 --> 00:35:45.860 Okay. 00:35:46.239 --> 00:35:51.599 This man helped answer, you know, God gave him. 00:35:51.599 --> 00:35:56.519 Pass him to me here and then answer both my prayer. 00:35:57.440 --> 00:35:57.719 Okay. 00:35:57.860 --> 00:35:59.039 So I have to thank him. 00:35:59.519 --> 00:36:01.059 No, he thanks me for taking on. 00:36:02.219 --> 00:36:02.500 Yeah. 00:36:02.679 --> 00:36:04.619 God works his way amazingly. 00:36:05.059 --> 00:36:05.179 Okay. 00:36:05.279 --> 00:36:06.880 Then Sam, how she turned? 00:36:07.380 --> 00:36:07.659 Okay. 00:36:07.799 --> 00:36:09.659 It's not for me lagging going to church. 00:36:09.719 --> 00:36:10.460 She didn't go to church. 00:36:11.460 --> 00:36:16.079 My mother-in-law, two years ago, passed away. 00:36:16.079 --> 00:36:18.759 And then we were cleaning up her stuff. 00:36:18.760 --> 00:36:28.520 Then we find a whole bunch of her journal, okay, talking about a lot of very long journal in Chinese. 00:36:29.160 --> 00:36:34.580 So like Vincent's family, actually, including Vincent, they don't read Chinese. 00:36:34.920 --> 00:36:39.320 So the only people that could read Chinese was me and Sam. 00:36:39.600 --> 00:36:40.620 Alex was there. 00:36:40.619 --> 00:36:43.859 So she was reading them, okay. 00:36:44.460 --> 00:36:51.299 And then my mother-in-law's journal was all about how she induced food. 00:36:51.699 --> 00:36:53.679 When she has cancer, she had no money. 00:36:53.819 --> 00:36:55.599 The roof was falling down one day. 00:36:55.960 --> 00:36:56.679 She was praying. 00:36:56.819 --> 00:36:58.579 And all of a sudden, somebody rang the doorbell. 00:36:59.319 --> 00:37:00.779 And it was a tornado coming. 00:37:01.019 --> 00:37:03.739 And then somebody rang the doorbell and said, I passed by your house. 00:37:03.739 --> 00:37:05.439 I see some problem with your roof. 00:37:06.319 --> 00:37:07.879 Let me help you to fix it. 00:37:08.839 --> 00:37:10.379 It could be something like that. 00:37:10.659 --> 00:37:18.339 You know, like she was in, one day she was so down that she was crying to say, Lord, where are you? 00:37:19.099 --> 00:37:22.319 And then all of a sudden, somebody, it was her birthday. 00:37:22.759 --> 00:37:24.259 And then somebody rang the doorbell. 00:37:24.259 --> 00:37:31.479 It was her church brother and sister brought over a birthday cake to celebrate her birthday. 00:37:31.480 --> 00:37:31.519 Okay. 00:37:32.000 --> 00:37:33.519 Situation didn't change. 00:37:33.960 --> 00:37:36.119 But her heart was changed. 00:37:37.000 --> 00:37:37.139 Okay. 00:37:37.280 --> 00:37:38.500 So, I mean, something like that. 00:37:38.760 --> 00:37:43.099 You know, so Sam was reading and reading her life journal. 00:37:43.539 --> 00:37:45.639 And I know, okay. 00:37:45.719 --> 00:37:46.320 She didn't say. 00:37:46.639 --> 00:37:48.940 I know that changed her heart. 00:37:49.159 --> 00:37:53.300 And then you all saw her when she came back to Hong Kong, right? 00:37:53.980 --> 00:37:58.579 She, two weeks after she gave birth, one day she dressed up. 00:37:58.579 --> 00:38:01.219 And I said, Sunday morning, I said, what are you doing? 00:38:01.920 --> 00:38:02.699 I need to go to church. 00:38:03.159 --> 00:38:04.699 I said, only two weeks. 00:38:05.500 --> 00:38:07.699 You know, wait for a month. 00:38:07.780 --> 00:38:08.539 No, no, no, no, I'm going. 00:38:09.679 --> 00:38:10.320 Then she came. 00:38:11.940 --> 00:38:12.179 Okay. 00:38:12.300 --> 00:38:20.240 So, what I'm trying to say is, family relationship is upward and downward. 00:38:20.760 --> 00:38:22.539 You know, I mean, in your family tree. 00:38:23.219 --> 00:38:23.480 Okay. 00:38:23.480 --> 00:38:24.579 You are Christian. 00:38:25.099 --> 00:38:28.119 Probably your parents are not or your grandmother are not. 00:38:29.059 --> 00:38:33.679 But, you know, or, you know, in the future you have children. 00:38:34.340 --> 00:38:34.500 Okay. 00:38:34.500 --> 00:38:34.539 Okay. 00:38:35.659 --> 00:38:42.099 God's promise is believe in Lord Jesus and you will be saved. 00:38:42.579 --> 00:38:43.559 Not just you. 00:38:43.940 --> 00:38:45.099 You and your household. 00:38:46.059 --> 00:38:46.340 Okay. 00:38:46.679 --> 00:38:52.539 And then we can grab hold tightly on this promise and then pray for them. 00:38:52.539 --> 00:39:00.860 I can tell you, like, all my family, both family, Vincent's family and all our siblings, we're Christian. 00:39:00.860 --> 00:39:11.220 And my parents, before they die, well, many, many, almost 10 years before, you know, they, even my mom got baptized in hospital. 00:39:12.519 --> 00:39:15.240 So, this is God's promise. 00:39:15.239 --> 00:39:23.839 And then we have an obligation as Christian is to look up and look down and practice good news to all of them. 00:39:25.159 --> 00:39:38.539 And finally, my final sharing is just in the gist of family relationship is to be kind, have tender hearted, you know, 00:39:38.539 --> 00:39:46.579 and also forgive one another as God in Christ forgave us. 00:39:47.579 --> 00:39:47.719 Okay. 00:39:47.880 --> 00:39:55.139 So, that's my reminder that I'm kind to most people, not as kind to Vincent. 00:39:56.480 --> 00:39:58.000 I think he may deserve it. 00:39:59.579 --> 00:40:01.659 So, that's always my reminder. 00:40:01.659 --> 00:40:04.320 And the reason he is like, be kind, be kind. 00:40:04.659 --> 00:40:07.739 But easy set than, you know, action. 00:40:08.659 --> 00:40:09.479 Thank you, Agnes. 00:40:09.679 --> 00:40:10.719 Can we give a round of applause? 00:40:19.500 --> 00:40:20.179 Sincere faith. 00:40:21.359 --> 00:40:22.019 Sincere faith. 00:40:22.199 --> 00:40:27.699 You see, just, I mean, if you want to know more about how strong a woman Agnes is, you just need to meet Vincent. 00:40:28.919 --> 00:40:32.739 And you'll see what she has to put up with and look after. 00:40:33.759 --> 00:40:34.899 Love you, Vincent, too. 00:40:37.739 --> 00:40:41.119 But that prayer. 00:40:42.179 --> 00:40:43.259 The top two prayers. 00:40:43.359 --> 00:40:48.259 I mean, the second one, actually, we're not for Joe and Alex getting together. 00:40:48.260 --> 00:40:53.000 I don't know if we'd have had the gathering in this shape or form. 00:40:53.700 --> 00:40:57.960 But for a parent to have the first prayer is just that her children would know Christ. 00:40:57.960 --> 00:41:02.480 I say as a parent that that's what I want for my kids. 00:41:02.480 --> 00:41:08.559 But I also want them to be hardworking and successful and do well in school. 00:41:08.920 --> 00:41:10.780 But to have just a number of salvation. 00:41:11.699 --> 00:41:12.440 To know Jesus. 00:41:13.079 --> 00:41:13.820 That is the only prayer. 00:41:13.900 --> 00:41:16.780 That's how the Apostle John wrote in 1 John, right? 00:41:16.860 --> 00:41:17.960 I just want you to know him. 00:41:18.440 --> 00:41:20.019 I want you to be in fellowship with him. 00:41:20.079 --> 00:41:20.519 And that's it. 00:41:20.519 --> 00:41:22.880 And last year, you saw Sam and Nick. 00:41:23.179 --> 00:41:24.800 They came back after they gave birth. 00:41:24.920 --> 00:41:28.320 And Nick was the one part of the team with Darren to help build the pool table in the back. 00:41:28.400 --> 00:41:31.219 And so involved, even from a very, very early place. 00:41:31.280 --> 00:41:34.559 And just to see the Lord's favor on a family as well. 00:41:35.259 --> 00:41:40.659 Of course, there is one more example of a parent and a child in perfect union. 00:41:41.199 --> 00:41:43.480 And of course, that is just Jesus and God the Father. 00:41:43.799 --> 00:41:45.619 He says, the Father and I are one. 00:41:45.719 --> 00:41:51.779 And in Jesus, you see the example of a son who just completely trusted his Father. 00:41:52.119 --> 00:41:52.980 To the point of death. 00:41:53.000 --> 00:41:54.799 Even death on the cross. 00:41:55.279 --> 00:41:58.799 To the point where he didn't want to do something and he'd be in the garden and he'd say, 00:42:00.799 --> 00:42:04.920 Dad, if there's any chance we can change plan, let's do it. 00:42:05.099 --> 00:42:06.339 Let's change plan, please. 00:42:06.819 --> 00:42:08.779 Could you spare me from this cup of suffering? 00:42:08.899 --> 00:42:10.179 But yet not my will, but yours. 00:42:10.659 --> 00:42:11.199 Be done. 00:42:11.299 --> 00:42:15.519 And Jesus entrusted his life, his spirit to his Father. 00:42:17.059 --> 00:42:18.440 And that union that comes. 00:42:19.960 --> 00:42:22.679 The floor is level at the ground of the cross. 00:42:23.099 --> 00:42:24.159 Whatever words those are. 00:42:24.659 --> 00:42:26.259 Whatever family background you come from. 00:42:26.259 --> 00:42:29.879 Whether it's an incredibly positive one and your whole family is Christian. 00:42:30.679 --> 00:42:32.659 Or whether you come from you're the only one. 00:42:32.839 --> 00:42:36.699 Or whether you come from you just have all the brokenness in your family. 00:42:37.699 --> 00:42:39.659 I have good news for you. 00:42:39.659 --> 00:42:41.619 I have good news for you. 00:42:42.119 --> 00:42:47.899 And that is, in Christ Jesus, we are also a family now. 00:42:48.339 --> 00:42:50.420 We are also a family now. 00:42:50.699 --> 00:42:52.000 We have to learn to be kind. 00:42:52.000 --> 00:42:57.440 We have to learn to love one another as Christ is loved of. 00:42:57.440 --> 00:43:00.059 I said at the beginning, our goal is to make disciples of Jesus. 00:43:00.159 --> 00:43:02.380 Jesus only defines what a disciple is three times. 00:43:02.579 --> 00:43:04.340 His own words about what a disciple is. 00:43:04.380 --> 00:43:04.960 It's John 8. 00:43:05.360 --> 00:43:05.800 It's abide. 00:43:05.880 --> 00:43:07.659 If you abide in my word, you are my disciple. 00:43:07.860 --> 00:43:08.659 It's John 13. 00:43:08.820 --> 00:43:11.659 If you love one another, you will be my disciple. 00:43:11.780 --> 00:43:12.480 And John 15. 00:43:12.480 --> 00:43:15.320 If you bear fruit, you will be my disciple. 00:43:15.440 --> 00:43:19.860 Those who are his disciples will abide in his word, will love one another. 00:43:19.960 --> 00:43:20.199 How? 00:43:20.599 --> 00:43:23.079 As he loved us. 00:43:23.659 --> 00:43:24.960 And I want to finish with a passage. 00:43:25.099 --> 00:43:27.300 Usually we do our scripture reading at the very beginning. 00:43:27.300 --> 00:43:28.219 And I invite you to stand. 00:43:28.519 --> 00:43:30.719 This time I want to do it here towards the end. 00:43:30.940 --> 00:43:33.260 Because I want to read to you Ephesians 2. 00:43:33.260 --> 00:43:39.580 And regardless of what family background you come from, this is good news for you and I. 00:43:40.020 --> 00:43:42.400 Because we were once dead in our trespasses and sin. 00:43:42.500 --> 00:43:44.920 We were once following the course of this world. 00:43:46.060 --> 00:43:49.300 We were carrying out the desires of our flesh. 00:43:49.640 --> 00:43:51.080 And we had no family. 00:43:51.840 --> 00:43:52.400 But God. 00:43:53.340 --> 00:43:54.140 But God. 00:43:55.340 --> 00:43:56.140 But God. 00:43:56.720 --> 00:43:57.620 Rich in mercy. 00:43:58.040 --> 00:43:59.760 Because of the great love that he had for us. 00:44:00.380 --> 00:44:03.140 Made us alive together. 00:44:03.260 --> 00:44:09.220 And Jesus comes and preached peace to those who are far off and to those who are close. 00:44:09.280 --> 00:44:11.200 He breaks down that dividing wall of hostility. 00:44:11.700 --> 00:44:14.940 And through him, through the cross, we now have access to the Father. 00:44:15.100 --> 00:44:15.700 All of us. 00:44:16.040 --> 00:44:17.440 Whatever family background we come from. 00:44:17.680 --> 00:44:19.740 Whatever levels of journey of the faith that we're on. 00:44:19.960 --> 00:44:23.460 We are now all members and citizens of the household of God. 00:44:24.860 --> 00:44:25.740 That is the family. 00:44:26.200 --> 00:44:27.920 I want to finish and then I'll read the scripture to you. 00:44:28.500 --> 00:44:32.720 That quote, that long journal entry from Henry Nouwen finishes like this. 00:44:32.719 --> 00:44:33.980 I hadn't read the whole thing to you. 00:44:34.759 --> 00:44:35.639 And it says this. 00:44:36.739 --> 00:44:39.639 Still, communion is your authentic desire. 00:44:39.819 --> 00:44:41.000 And it will be given to you. 00:44:41.000 --> 00:44:45.000 But you have to dare to stop seeking gifts and favors like a petulant child. 00:44:45.500 --> 00:44:47.679 And trust that your deepest longing will be fulfilled. 00:44:48.279 --> 00:44:50.439 Dare to lose your life and you will find it. 00:44:50.919 --> 00:44:52.159 Trust in Jesus' words. 00:44:52.159 --> 00:44:57.440 There is no one who has left house, brothers, sisters, mother, father, children or land for my sake. 00:44:57.519 --> 00:45:03.299 And for the sake of the gospel, who will not receive a hundred times as much houses, brothers, sisters, mothers, children and land. 00:45:03.559 --> 00:45:04.659 And persecutions too. 00:45:05.219 --> 00:45:07.619 Now in this present time and in the world to come. 00:45:08.339 --> 00:45:09.000 Eternal life. 00:45:09.000 --> 00:45:11.780 He's saying, you have a new family now. 00:45:12.380 --> 00:45:13.079 Because of me. 00:45:13.960 --> 00:45:15.599 Regardless of where you come from before. 00:45:16.059 --> 00:45:17.239 He knows what you've let go of. 00:45:17.320 --> 00:45:19.639 He knows what you're still struggling with. 00:45:21.400 --> 00:45:22.960 Just before he died on the cross. 00:45:23.199 --> 00:45:24.500 He looks at Mary, his mother. 00:45:24.579 --> 00:45:25.280 And he looks at John. 00:45:25.420 --> 00:45:28.179 And he says, this is now your mother. 00:45:28.360 --> 00:45:29.820 This is now your son. 00:45:29.940 --> 00:45:30.139 Why? 00:45:30.400 --> 00:45:30.980 Because of me. 00:45:31.639 --> 00:45:33.579 Because of me, you are now family. 00:45:33.579 --> 00:45:38.400 Because of him, we are now family. 00:45:38.699 --> 00:45:38.960 Hi, mom. 00:45:40.159 --> 00:45:43.360 Because of what he did for us. 00:45:44.199 --> 00:45:45.739 Whether we are blood related or not. 00:45:45.900 --> 00:45:47.279 We are bound by the blood of Christ. 00:45:48.179 --> 00:45:49.779 And I want to read Ephesians 2 over us. 00:45:49.840 --> 00:45:54.299 And I want you to open up your heart and open your hands and receive that good news. 00:45:55.679 --> 00:46:00.639 And let whatever that good news is compelling you to do, to love other people. 00:46:00.639 --> 00:46:02.920 Let that permeate through into all of your actions. 00:46:02.920 --> 00:46:05.960 Regardless of whether you've been so hurt by family or not. 00:46:06.420 --> 00:46:07.940 Or whether you come from a Christian family. 00:46:08.780 --> 00:46:12.019 And have no real hurts to share either. 00:46:13.240 --> 00:46:16.019 We come together because of what God did for us. 00:46:16.079 --> 00:46:17.460 Can I invite you to stand for the word of God? 00:46:25.119 --> 00:46:27.079 I'm reading the letter of Paul to the Ephesians. 00:46:28.840 --> 00:46:31.380 And again, as I always like to remind myself. 00:46:31.380 --> 00:46:33.800 I stand because this is the word of God. 00:46:33.900 --> 00:46:35.660 This has stopped being the word of James. 00:46:35.760 --> 00:46:36.519 This is not Cubon. 00:46:36.579 --> 00:46:37.200 This is not Agnes. 00:46:37.380 --> 00:46:38.099 This is not Trevor. 00:46:38.180 --> 00:46:40.300 This is the word of God himself speaking to us. 00:46:41.280 --> 00:46:43.619 And we receive it with reverence and awe. 00:46:43.619 --> 00:46:53.460 And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world. 00:46:54.019 --> 00:46:56.039 Following the prince of the power of the air. 00:46:56.259 --> 00:46:59.199 The spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience. 00:46:59.579 --> 00:47:02.980 Among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh. 00:47:03.480 --> 00:47:05.940 Carrying out the desires of the body and the mind. 00:47:06.619 --> 00:47:09.759 And were by nature children of wrath like the rest of mankind. 00:47:09.760 --> 00:47:13.500 But God, being rich in mercy. 00:47:14.080 --> 00:47:16.320 Because of the great love with which he loved us. 00:47:16.820 --> 00:47:19.020 Even when we were dead in our trespasses. 00:47:19.540 --> 00:47:21.800 Made us alive together with Christ. 00:47:22.520 --> 00:47:23.860 By grace you have been saved. 00:47:24.440 --> 00:47:28.940 And raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus. 00:47:29.320 --> 00:47:32.960 So that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace. 00:47:33.220 --> 00:47:35.580 In kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. 00:47:36.000 --> 00:47:38.080 For by grace you have been saved through faith. 00:47:38.079 --> 00:47:39.799 And this is not your own doing. 00:47:40.279 --> 00:47:41.319 It is the gift of God. 00:47:41.739 --> 00:47:44.079 Not a resort of works so that no one may boast. 00:47:44.579 --> 00:47:45.900 For we are his workmanship. 00:47:46.139 --> 00:47:48.119 Created in Christ Jesus for good works. 00:47:48.440 --> 00:47:51.539 Which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them. 00:47:52.460 --> 00:47:55.239 Therefore remember that at one time you Gentiles in the flesh. 00:47:55.759 --> 00:47:58.099 Called the uncircumcision by what is called the circumcision. 00:47:58.360 --> 00:47:59.779 Which is made in the flesh by hands. 00:48:00.139 --> 00:48:00.500 Remember. 00:48:01.159 --> 00:48:04.019 Remember that you were at that time separated from Christ. 00:48:04.019 --> 00:48:06.619 Alienated from the commonwealth of Israel. 00:48:06.619 --> 00:48:08.719 And strangers to the covenants of promise. 00:48:09.059 --> 00:48:10.880 Having no hope and without God in the world. 00:48:11.840 --> 00:48:13.059 But now in Christ Jesus. 00:48:13.699 --> 00:48:17.340 You who once were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ. 00:48:17.940 --> 00:48:19.500 For he himself is our peace. 00:48:19.759 --> 00:48:21.019 Who has made us both one. 00:48:21.300 --> 00:48:25.000 And has broken down in his flesh the dividing wall of hostility. 00:48:25.259 --> 00:48:28.380 By abolishing the law of commandments expressed in ordinances. 00:48:28.840 --> 00:48:31.059 That he might create in himself one new man. 00:48:31.059 --> 00:48:32.159 In place of the two. 00:48:32.619 --> 00:48:33.400 So making peace. 00:48:33.880 --> 00:48:37.219 And might reconcile us both to God in one body through the cross. 00:48:37.539 --> 00:48:39.500 Thereby killing the hostility. 00:48:40.400 --> 00:48:43.059 And he came and preached peace to you who were far off. 00:48:43.400 --> 00:48:45.659 And peace to those who were near. 00:48:46.000 --> 00:48:49.840 For through him we both have access in one spirit to the father. 00:48:50.980 --> 00:48:53.019 So then you are no longer strangers and aliens. 00:48:53.679 --> 00:48:55.719 But you are fellow citizens with the saints. 00:48:55.719 --> 00:48:59.639 And members of the household of God. 00:48:59.639 --> 00:49:02.739 Built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets. 00:49:02.980 --> 00:49:05.639 Christ Jesus himself being the cornerstone. 00:49:05.960 --> 00:49:08.940 In whom the whole structure being joined together. 00:49:09.239 --> 00:49:11.279 Grows into a holy temple in the Lord. 00:49:12.059 --> 00:49:14.059 In him you also are being built together. 00:49:14.400 --> 00:49:18.239 Into a dwelling place for God by the spirit. 00:49:19.699 --> 00:49:21.400 Can I invite you just to open up your hands and pray. 00:49:21.400 --> 00:49:21.460 Amen. 00:49:26.859 --> 00:49:28.559 Jesus we receive this good news. 00:49:29.639 --> 00:49:36.980 And we bring to you whatever experiences we've had of our family. 00:49:38.420 --> 00:49:40.679 The challenges that we have right now. 00:49:41.079 --> 00:49:42.159 Because of our family. 00:49:46.719 --> 00:49:49.279 But we remember that we were once separated. 00:49:50.159 --> 00:49:51.719 We were once alienated. 00:49:52.039 --> 00:49:52.480 Strangers. 00:49:52.480 --> 00:49:56.320 yet because of what you did 00:49:56.320 --> 00:50:00.039 and we didn't deserve it at all 00:50:00.039 --> 00:50:03.460 yet because of what you did 00:50:03.460 --> 00:50:08.340 we now receive a spirit of adoption as sons 00:50:08.340 --> 00:50:09.699 and we cry Abba Father 00:50:09.699 --> 00:50:16.260 and Lord we know now that there is nothing 00:50:16.260 --> 00:50:20.320 nothing that can separate us from the communion 00:50:20.320 --> 00:50:20.980 that we seek 00:50:20.980 --> 00:50:24.320 nothing can separate us 00:50:24.320 --> 00:50:28.320 neither height nor depth, neither angels or demons 00:50:28.320 --> 00:50:30.280 from the love of Christ 00:50:30.280 --> 00:50:33.519 that love that makes us family 00:50:33.519 --> 00:50:36.699 so would you bring redemption? 00:50:36.699 --> 00:50:38.059 would you bring restoration? 00:50:38.480 --> 00:50:39.599 would you bring reconciliation? 00:50:39.920 --> 00:50:41.400 would you teach us how to be kind? 00:50:41.940 --> 00:50:43.440 to bear with one another 00:50:43.440 --> 00:50:47.519 to be tender hearted, to be soft, to be open 00:50:47.519 --> 00:50:52.860 to lay our lives down for each other 00:50:52.860 --> 00:51:00.659 we also pray for those of us who are still carrying significant hurt 00:51:00.659 --> 00:51:10.679 we know that that is not how you intended family to be 00:51:10.679 --> 00:51:15.079 yet it's through family that we have most of our deepest scars 00:51:15.079 --> 00:51:24.420 and we know our relationship with our family impacts how we relate to others here 00:51:24.420 --> 00:51:30.279 and most important of all we know how we have related to them 00:51:30.279 --> 00:51:32.420 impacts how we relate to you 00:51:32.420 --> 00:51:40.760 so in a moment of silent, quiet reflection now 00:51:40.760 --> 00:51:41.840 we come to you and we 00:51:41.840 --> 00:51:45.760 ask that you would reveal to us anything that 00:51:45.760 --> 00:51:47.760 isn't of you 00:51:47.760 --> 00:51:54.900 Lord, would you search our hearts? 00:51:55.020 --> 00:51:56.140 would you test our anxious thoughts? 00:51:56.260 --> 00:51:58.100 would you see if there is any offensive way in us? 00:52:00.680 --> 00:52:02.960 Lord, we want the way of everlasting life 00:52:02.960 --> 00:52:04.720 we want you 00:52:04.720 --> 00:52:06.440 we want 00:52:06.440 --> 00:52:08.300 communion 00:52:08.300 --> 00:52:17.400 Lord, we thank you for the stories of Trevor and for Cuban and for Agnes 00:52:17.400 --> 00:52:22.260 whether they 00:52:22.260 --> 00:52:25.120 are positive or negative 00:52:25.120 --> 00:52:26.640 or a mix of both 00:52:26.640 --> 00:52:30.580 we remember the words we read in the end of Genesis 00:52:30.580 --> 00:52:31.860 what the enemy meant for evil 00:52:31.860 --> 00:52:34.019 you turn for good 00:52:34.019 --> 00:52:37.160 and you work for the good of those who love you 00:52:37.159 --> 00:52:40.159 we thank you 00:52:40.159 --> 00:52:44.059 Father, we thank you that we can call you Father 00:52:44.059 --> 00:52:47.299 help us understand what that means 00:52:47.299 --> 00:52:51.379 we are your children 00:52:51.379 --> 00:52:53.859 co-heirs with Christ 00:52:53.859 --> 00:52:59.619 we did nothing to deserve this 00:52:59.619 --> 00:53:00.579 it is that outrageous 00:53:00.579 --> 00:53:02.659 and yet we are now your children 00:53:02.659 --> 00:53:10.319 let's invite Cuban and the worship team up to 00:53:10.319 --> 00:53:12.779 lead us in one last response with song 00:53:12.780 --> 00:53:12.840 moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment of moment