If someone asks you, what are some precious jewels?
What would come to your mind? What would you put on your list?
Maybe a diamond, emerald, ruby?
Some of you may have such a list with Valentine's Day coming up. I don't know.
Well, according to Proverbs,
we could put wise words on that list of precious jewels.
Because the book of Proverbs compares wise words, knowledgeable words,
words of understanding with precious jewels.
Look at it. Chapter 20, verse 15.
There is gold and abundance of costly stones,
but the lips of knowledge are a precious jewel.
Raymond Ortlund says that last phrase,
the lips of knowledge are a precious jewel,
means that knowledgeable, informed, intelligent words
are rare and valuable in God's eyes.
He then points out that we understand the value of wise speech.
Look what he says.
We know what it's like to be listening to someone,
and it's obvious they do not know what they're talking about.
We also know what it's like to fall silent
whenever a certain person speaks,
because whatever that person has to say
is wise and helpful and almost a work of art.
You know what he's talking about.
Think about one of the last big family reunions you went to,
or maybe a large work-related gathering.
Think about one of the last big family reunions you went to,
weren't there several people that you just hoped
you didn't get stuck having to have a conversation with?
I mean, you knew that they were going to talk about a lot of things
that they really didn't know what they were talking about.
You know people that they like to talk a lot,
but they just don't say much.
But in that gathering,
there was one person, maybe two,
that you wanted.
You were going to make sure you got to spend some time with them.
Not so much because you had things to say,
but because you wanted to listen to what they had to say.
Because you value what they think.
You recognize that that person is wise, is helpful.
You benefit, other people benefit from what they have to say.
We know from experience
that knowledgeable, wise, and helpful speech
really is a precious jewel
because of its value
and it's in short supply.
Well, Proverbs has much to say about our speech
as we are learning.
We shifted gears from the negative to the positive last week
and started looking at the good use of words,
the value of wise speech.
Last week we focused on the value of speaking truthfully,
appropriately, timely, calmly,
and then speaking less.
Well, I want us to continue this line of thinking
by looking at how a wise person
uses words to encourage.
A wise person understands the value
of words of encouragement.
Now, the book of Proverbs
describes this idea
of speaking encouraging words
in a rich variety of ways
and I want to bring out three of them.
I want us to look at three statements.
First, from Proverbs 10.
Look at it.
The lips of the righteous feed many.
The word feed is translated
nourish in the NIV,
encourage in the New Living translation,
in some passages,
this word,
nourish, encourage, feed,
is translated to shepherd
as in shepherding,
taking care of sheep.
This verse is saying that
encouraging words
are words that provide
what we might call emotional
or spiritual nourishment,
comfort,
guidance,
even security,
protection.
Look at the second verse
in Proverbs 12.
Anxiety in a man's heart
weighs him down,
but a good word
makes him glad.
The word anxiety
in this verse
is referring to fear,
maybe fear of the unknown
about the future.
It's talking about worry.
Several commentators
in trying to
describe what it's talking about
use the word depression
in describing the extent
of the fear
or anxiety.
The idea is that
when we are really anxious
about something,
it can weigh us down.
It can give us
an emotionally heavy heart.
And you know
that's especially true
about depression.
All of us,
to some degree,
most of us,
in small degrees,
we have experienced
times of depression.
Well, what is helpful
in such a situation
is described in this verse
as a good word.
A good word
that makes a person glad,
that cheers him up.
And so,
from this perspective,
this verse,
encouraging words
could be any kind
of good words
that provide
an emotional
or spiritual lift
to a person
that's down.
Encouraging words
could be words
that just sort of
pick someone up
who's down.
Let's look at the third
from Proverbs 16.
Gracious words
are like a honeycomb,
sweetness to the soul,
and health
to the body.
Now,
both the NIV
and the New American Standard
translation,
they translate
the second part
of that verse
more literally
like this,
sweet to the soul
and healing
to the bones.
They're describing
the power of words
figuratively
to heal bones.
Now,
let's note two things
about the effect
that gracious words
can have
on an individual
who receives them.
they can have
a sweet taste.
They have a pleasantness
to them
when we hear them.
They're sweet
to the soul.
And they have
a healing touch.
Healing
to the bones
is the way
the writer
describes it.
So,
encouraging words
we're talking about.
There are all kinds
of words.
But they can be
any kind
of gracious words
that are just
pleasant.
They bring
healing
to emotional
or spiritual
wounds.
Now,
let's try
to apply this now.
We see
from these three
verses,
there's just
all kinds
of words
we can use
to encourage
another person.
There's all kinds
of ways
we can use
words wisely,
helpfully,
to pick people
up
when they need it.
What all
three verses
have in common
is that they
provide emotional,
spiritual,
and or
physical support
according to
the person's
need.
But in order
for us
to be able
to wisely
encourage
the person
that God's
brought into
our lives,
we've got to
take an interest
in them.
We've got to
notice them.
We've got to
pay attention
to them.
We've got to
try to
find out
what their
needs are.
So,
here's where
we're going
to pause.
How well
and how
often
do you
do that?
I want you
to think
about the
people who
are closest
to you.
You know,
as we go
through any
kind of study
on Sunday
morning,
Sunday night,
Wednesday night,
whenever,
as you go
through your
own personal
Bible study,
try to apply
it where you
are to how
your life is.
Don't think
in generalities.
right now,
we're talking
about the
wisdom of
using our
words to
encourage people.
We're talking
about encouraging
speech.
And there's a
lot of different
ways we can do
that.
But here's what
I want you to
do.
Think about the
people that you
are the closest
to.
The people that
God has in your
life, in your
family, among
your friends,
people you work
with, go to
school with.
Do you know
how those
closest to you
need to be
encouraged right
now, today,
based on what
you know is
going on in
their life?
Think about it
in light of what
we've seen in
those verses.
Is there
someone around
you right now
who is in need
of your
shepherding
words,
of comfort
maybe?
Or they
need you to
sort of provide
some guidance.
Or it may be
there's fear
and they need
words that will
convey security.
Or maybe you
need to help
them in applying
God's word in a
way that will
nourish them
spiritually.
right now, is
there anyone
close to you
that's allowed
stress or
fear to
weigh them
down?
They've got a
heavy heart.
It may be
that hearing
encouraging words
of affirmation
from you,
it may be that
your loving
words of
concern
is what
will pick
them up
quicker
than anything
else could.
The third
application for
that third
verse,
is there anyone
in your life
that maybe
has a wounded
spirit?
Maybe as a
result of some
things that you
have said
or done
to them,
it may be
that what they
need is to
hear from
your lips
some heartfelt,
sincere
encouragement.
Words that
will lift
them up.
Words that
will give
them hope.
Words that
God will use
to meet
that real
need that
they're
struggling
with right
now.
Or could
it be that
there's just
some people
in your
life that
they just
need to
hear you
speak some
pleasant
words for
a change?
Let's be
real honest.
Most of us
need to put
forth more
effort to
notice what's
going on in
the lives of
the people
around us.
You don't
need to
worry about
the stranger
on the
street.
You don't
need to be
concerned at
all about
the so
called
celebrities
that are
all over
the news
on the
internet
and on
TV.
What they
do and
what they
think
matters
zero.
What they
think and
what they're
doing is a
negative number
in terms of
what matters
in your
life,
in my
life,
and in
the world
that really
is.
But the
people that
you live
with,
the people
you go to
school with,
people you
work with,
people that
you worship
the Lord
with right
here in
this church
family,
we need to
ask God
to help
us to
develop a
real desire
to know
what's going
on in their
life so that
we can
encourage
them.
And we
need to
ask God
to help
us to
develop the
habit of
not just
thinking about
being an
encourager,
but actually
speaking words
that heal,
that give
hope,
that lift
up,
that comfort,
that just
plain
encourage in
some way.
Now,
not only do
people around
us need
it, but
we do
too,
don't we?
Or you
might say,
I don't need
that.
I don't like
criticism, but
as long as
people don't
criticize me,
I don't
really need
all that
encouraging,
fluffy stuff.
You're lying.
You're a
human being.
Encouraging
words can
lift you.
they can do
something to
you that
nothing else
can do.
You like
it.
You enjoy
it because
it meets a
need that
we all have
as a human
being.
We need to
be encouraged.
Now,
I want you to
look again at
that last
Proverbs 16,
24.
Gracious words
are like a
honeycomb,
sweetness to
the soul,
and health
to the body.
Why would
that not
also apply
to the
godly person
who speaks
the words
as well as
the person on
the receiving
end?
it helps
us.
It's
beneficial to
us.
It's
sweet.
It's
pleasant to
us,
for us,
to speak
such words.
We need
to do it.
And people
in our lives
need to hear
it.
Starting
today,
and I want
you to make
a commitment
for every day
this week,
look for
opportunities
in the lives
of those
special people
who are in
your life.
Look for
opportunities.
Look for
needs
for you
to speak
encouraging
words to
them.
I mean,
make it a
commitment.
Starting
today,
you're going
to start
looking.
What are
some needs
that an
encouraging
word for
me could
meet?
Legitimately.
Pick out
specific people
that you
know,
maybe in
your home
that especially
need it right
now,
or somebody
you work
with or
go into
school with,
or somebody
in your
Sunday
school class.
Make it a
point.
Speak,
need specific
words of
encouragement
to them.
We need to
ask God to
help us to be
wise with our
words.
We need to
ask God to
help us to be
wise with our
words every
day in all
kinds of ways
for sure.
But we need
help.
We need
reminders to
be an
encourager every
day.
Now,
since we've
looked at the
importance of
discovering people's
needs in order
to know how to
encourage them,
I think it's
important that we
sort of take a
detour from the
next point about
wisely using our
words, let's
think about this.
A wise person
knows that
sometimes words
are not enough.
You see, as I
was preparing this
week and got to
thinking about how
important it is to
be an encourager,
to offer encouraging
words to the
people we are
closest to
especially, I also
got to thinking,
in a lot of
situations, words
are important but
words are not
enough.
There are times
when words alone
fail to meet the
need at hand.
And Proverbs
clearly illustrates
this by comparing
the person who is
willing to work
with the person
who only wants to
talk.
Look at it
from Proverbs 14.
All hard work
brings a profit,
but mere talk
leads only to
poverty.
Now remember,
Proverbs are just
general rules of
life.
This is how life
normally works.
And generally
speaking, the
farmer, the
business person
that would be in
mind here, the
person who is
willing to work
hard, it's
going to be to
their advantage.
They're going to
be able to take
care of
themselves.
It is profitable
to work hard in
this world.
That's just a
basic way God
created life to
work.
If you work
hard normally,
it's to your
advantage.
It is profitable.
But people who
just talk a good
game, who just
talk about what
they're going to
do, but never
do it, they're
going to come up
short.
They're going to
be needy,
sometimes even in
poverty, literally.
The ESV study
Bible says this
verse is a
rebuke against
people who are
always talking and
planning, but
never accomplishing
anything.
You know, it is
good to plan and
to think.
It's even good to
dream and have
goals.
But there comes a
time when it's
time to quit
thinking about
this.
It's time to quit
looking at all the
plans.
It's time to stop
talking about it.
It's time to do
something.
There comes a time
when there's
nothing more to be
said.
And we've just
got to do.
food.
That's what he's
talking about.
Now, to put this
another way, there
are times when even
our well-meaning,
encouraging words are
absolutely no
substitute for
action.
In fact, they're
just an excuse.
I want you to look
at what James, the
wisdom writer of the
New Testament, says
about this very thing
we're looking at.
From James
chapter 2.
If a brother or
sister is poorly
clothed and lacking
in daily food, and
one of you says to
them, go in peace, be
warmed and filled,
without giving them
the things needed for
the body, what good
is that?
James is trying to
teach in this section
that faith without
works is meaningless.
If your life doesn't
back up your profession
of faith, your
profession of faith is
meaningless.
And so he compares
it here.
Words of compassion
without acts of
compassion are
meaningless.
We need to let this
sink in.
Some of the people
that we do need to
encourage with our
words, they need to
experience from us
encouraging actions.
Some of the people
in some of the
situations that you
thought about a
moment ago, some of
the people close to
you, who have needs
that you're aware of,
that need your
encouragement, your
encouraging words,
some of them need for
you to go another
step and show some
encouraging actions as
well.
Because if you don't,
your words are not
going to bring about
the needed change that
they need and you
really want them to
experience.
Now, think with me.
What are some of the
things that people in
your life who you
care about, you want to
meet their needs, what is
it that they need
beside your encouraging
words?
Well, just because of
the day in which we
live, knowing how life
can be, I know that
there are some people in
your life that in
addition to your words,
they need time.
They need face time
with you.
I'm talking about in
person, eye to eye.
They need your
attention.
They need to know that
you care enough to sit
down and be with
them.
Look into their eyes.
Listen.
Really listen to what
they have to say.
Some people in your
life really need it
because they rarely have
it.
And it may not be that
there are people in
your life who need
your attention.
It may not be that
you're just never
there.
The problem is, when
you are there, you
aren't there.
If you think spending
time with people, with
most of the time your
face is stuck in an
iPhone, or you're
preoccupied with your
iPad, or listening to
the radio, got your
earphones on, or you
got to watch TV,
B, or B, what you
think is multitasking,
you're not giving
people the time, the
attention.
You're not giving
people the you that
they really need.
I want you to look at
this familiar picture on
the screen.
That particular picture is
not one you've seen, but
you've seen one like
it.
Lisa and I were in
Pigeon Forge last
fall.
We're at a restaurant.
This is in the
morning.
Those are teenagers,
older teenagers.
They're not looking at a
menu.
Each one has their face
in that iPad, iPhone.
They made no eye
contact.
They carried on no
conversation.
When the food came,
they moved their phone
over to put the plate
there, and they ate and
watched that.
They didn't talk to one
another.
But even worse, one
night on that same
trip, Lisa and I went
out to eat.
Now, I was sitting here,
and Lisa was there, and
over here, it was just in
my eye contact view.
There was a lady about
my age who appeared to
be with her mother.
And the lady my age, I
am not exaggerating, she
caught my attention, and
all she did for the time
she gave her order, I
guess, until the food
came, all she did was
look down and do
something with her iPhone.
She didn't look at her
mother, she didn't talk
to her mother, she
didn't listen to her
mother, because mother
didn't talk.
She just fooled with that
phone.
And her mother, sitting
across the table, sitting
up with her hands on the
table, just sort of
staring at her daughter,
sort of pleasant looking,
but no kind of
interaction.
And I thought about that,
and I told Lisa about
that.
They're supposed to be
out spending time
together, but they
didn't spend any time
together.
There were a few points
where I did note that the
woman my age with her
phone said a few words to
her mother, obviously,
about what she was doing
on that phone, what she
was looking at, but her
mother didn't care a thing
in the world about it.
Technology is a wonderful
thing.
I use it every day.
I enjoy technology.
But I want you to
understand something.
A lot of people in this
room, you are allowing
such technology to
destroy personal
relationships with people
that I know you really
and do care about, you
love.
Some of you parents are
allowing your teenagers
or even younger to
develop those kind of
habits and inability to
communicate by always
having that before their
face as if you don't
exist.
And the dumbest thing of
all is you pay for it.
I've got two boys that
you know and you can ask.
If you pay for it, it's
yours.
You just let them use it.
And you're the one that
needs to be in control and
do what needs to be done.
But you know why a lot of
your teenagers do that?
Because they learned it
from you.
Maybe not it was an iPhone
or an iPad.
Maybe it was the TV.
Maybe it was the radio.
Maybe you were always on the
phone with your buddy.
But they learned that family
time really doesn't mean
anything.
There's really no such thing
in our house as personal,
looking at one another,
listening to one another,
carrying on a conversation
with one another, and
actually taking an interest
in one another's lives.
There's a tremendous
breakdown in personal
interaction in this country.
And it is basically not
destroying families like
drugs and alcohol, but it's
destroying families' ability
to communicate, to express
love, to know and be known,
to develop lives together,
husbands and wives, parents
and children.
And it filters on out into
every other relationship as
well.
Many people in your life, or
some people at least, need to
have you to give them your
undivided attention, need to
see your eyes, know that your
ears are tuned more than
anything else they need from
you.
They may not say that, but it
is true.
Now quickly, some people need
our help physically,
materially, financially.
Some people that we have good
intentions of encouraging them
with our words, they have
needs that we need to step up
to the plate and actually meet.
Because God's placed them in our
lives for us to do this.
And you don't have to have a lot
of money or even excess funds to
do it.
I remember times growing up, and
my family, we were not poor
people, but we were not well-off
people.
We were below comfortable
people.
I didn't know that until I got
to be older.
But I figured it out.
But I can remember my parents
buying, not just a bag of
groceries, but buying real
needed food and clothing and
other necessities for a neighbor
family with four boys who are in
desperate shape.
Severe poverty through circumstances
beyond their control.
And other neighbors stepped up and
did that for this family.
And back in those days, my parents
and these other neighbors, they
didn't tell this family, we're
praying for you.
Why don't you call this government
agency?
Why don't you call that social
agency?
Or let's see if we can get our
church involved.
No.
My parents and these other
neighbors, they did what they
could do to meet needs that they
saw and cared about.
And yes, they got their church
involved.
But they didn't let their church
or some other organization be a
substitute for their involvement,
for their sacrificial giving to
meet needs that God laid before
them, put on their heart they
needed to meet, even if it costs
us more than we can really afford.
Some people who need your
encouragement, they need more than
that and it will cost you.
But let me also say some people
who need your encouragement may
need help that you cannot provide.
For an example, as we were talking
about depression earlier, I am fully
aware that some people suffer with
severe depression.
And they need more than an
encouraging word from a loving
friend.
They need that.
They may need professional help.
They may need spiritual counseling.
They may need to see a medical
doctor.
They may need to see a counselor.
And so when those situations
arise, we need to offer our
encouraging word but do whatever we
can to get them the help that they
need that we can't provide.
Let's go back to words.
Words are powerful.
We've seen already in our other
studies, they can destroy but they can
also build up.
And as God's people, that's what we're
called to do.
To use our words to build up.
Use our words to encourage.
And I want to encourage you to make a
commitment that starting today, you're
going to be more aware of the need to
be an encourager to people you already
know, you live with, you work with, you
go to school with.
Ask God to just give you the desire and
show you how and when and where to do
these kind of things.
But I want to conclude that we have each
of these messages on our words.
Words matter more than a lot of people
think because Jesus made it clear, made
it perfectly clear in how he described
words being used on judgment day.
Look at it again.
I tell you, Jesus said, on the day of
judgment, people will give account for
every careless word they speak.
For by your words you will be justified.
And by your words you will be condemned.
Let's pray together.
Dear God,
Father, we are selfish people
who naturally just look out for
ourselves.
But help us this morning, dear God, to
be awakened to the fact that there are
people right around us that we know and
love who need for us to notice them,
take an interest in them, see their needs,
and act.
Father, show us who we need today to speak
some encouraging words to.
Show us what kind of words.
Help us to do it from a motivation of real
love, care, concern.
Help us to desire deeply to lift this
person up.
Lord, show us what's needed in addition to our
words.
Show us what needs to change there, not just
one time, but the lifestyle change.
Show us, dear God,
how we need to speak and act in an
encouraging way.
Then an attitude of prayer.
Let's listen to the Lord and respond to Him
right now.
Understand that if you're not a Christian,
your greatest need is a relationship with
Jesus Christ that comes through turning from
your sin and trusting Him and Him alone for
your salvation.
Understand that it's by the grace of God that
we can even speak encouraging words appropriately.
So seek God's help, first of all in this.