We're going to talk about motherhood today.
And just by way of opening, I've been thinking about my own mother a lot.
I had a very, very remarkable mom.
About half of you guys knew her.
About half of you didn't.
She passed away a few years ago.
My mom, one of the things that was really unique about my mom is you hear of people that their
whole life they planned to have a particular kind of career.
Like let's say you hear of someone who's, you know, their whole life they wanted to be a ballet dancer.
Their whole life they wanted to be a professional athlete.
And they worked toward that their entire life.
But one of the things about my mom is from a very young age, she just wanted to be a mom.
And then when she got to middle school, her own mother actually passed away.
And one of the things, you know, there's unfortunate reality is that oftentimes we take things for
granted until they're gone.
And she had the unique perspective of really, really not taking motherhood for granted because
she lost it at a relatively young age.
And it really doubled down her resolve that what she wanted to do with her life, the only
thing she wanted to do with her life, the legacy that she was content to have and have alone was to just be a
good mom.
That's what she wanted.
One of the things that happened as she aged is she was born in 1959.
And so she grew up, you know, she was a teenager in the 70s.
And a lot of her, I'm not talking a lot enough, a lot of her peers really questioned motherhood.
And a lot of her peers, you know, took a different direction, went into careers, questioned motherhood,
questioned marriage, things like this.
But she really maintained her resolve.
She wanted to be a mom.
She got married.
She had 10 children.
And, you know, she really loved the Lord.
And she loved us very, very well.
And then she passed away a few years ago.
She had an incredible legacy.
My mom passed away at a reasonable age.
I think mom was 63 when she passed away.
61.
All of her children were adults.
And one of the things that is a privilege to grieve is grieving the end of a really good story.
I've noticed my friends who have lost parents or lost loved ones where it ends in tragedy.
It actually can be harder to grieve.
I think one of the things I'm really thankful for is that my mom just had an incredible story.
And she just did such a good job, you know.
And one of the things that I feel that I have been able to appreciate her legacy is there's a handful of things that she learned late in motherhood that she wanted young moms to learn early.
And I think a couple of the really big ones, and I think some of the ladies in here knew my mom.
She had a lot of influence.
She had some level of discipleship in some of the ladies here.
My mom really wanted moms.
A lot of this is going to be inspired by the legacy of my mother.
But one of the things that she really longed for young moms is to take the invisibility or the taken for grantedness that mothers oftentimes experience.
And take a lot of the invisibility in the mundane.
And really find a level of value and fulfillment in the Lord rather than all the other things that, let's say, tempt our heart with.
And I think even in this day and age, even as it was back in the 70s all the way up until now, I think it can be really difficult for mothers in that a lot of the atmosphere is kind of selling a story of if you do this, you would actually feel valuable.
And I think one of the ironies of motherhood is the realization of how valuable motherhood is, but the experience of being treated low in value, if that makes sense.
You're both doing something that you know is incredibly valuable, but you feel very valueless in it.
You know what I mean?
And I think it's because motherhood is one of those things that is easy to take for granted.
You know what I mean?
My mom had a unique perspective because she didn't take it for granted at all.
You know what I mean?
And I think the other thing is, I think my mom would say this, is that there's something about motherhood that brings an eternal being into existence and experiencing the weight and glory of that and feeling to some degree incapable or overwhelmed or having kind of a little bit of a perfectionistic cloud always examining your motherhood.
Like you can never quite do enough.
And I think if my mom, if my mom was to speak on this, I think that she would really, I think she really wanted young mothers to be able to take the invisibility of motherhood and the perfectionism of motherhood and really have that resolved in the relationship with the Lord rather than all the other ways that this world.
There's a lot of other solutions that this world sells us.
You know what I mean?
And motherhood is really easy to take for granted.
You know what I mean?
So anyway, with all that said, I'm going to start with, this is Malachi chapter two.
This is when the Lord is talking about the purpose of marriage.
Sometimes this one flies under the radar.
This is Malachi chapter two, verse 15.
Did he not make them one?
This is talking about marriage.
Did he not make them one with a portion of the spirit in their union?
And what was the one that God, what and what was the one God seeking?
Godly offspring.
So God was seeking something for marriage from their union.
It was godly offspring.
So guard yourselves in your spirit and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth.
So the Lord is saying here that the purpose of marriage, according to the Lord, is actually to produce godly offspring.
Which, for all of us who are believers, isn't that our heart?
Don't we want our children to be godly?
But that also, in a lot of ways, is the dilemma.
That's the great weight and dilemma of parenting is how are we to produce godliness in our children?
You know what I mean?
And I think there is a real mystery there.
There's a real mystery in the sense of, you know what?
The Lord's sovereign.
The Lord's in control.
How can I make something that only the Lord, you know, is ultimately in charge of?
You know what I mean?
It's a real paradox.
And I think also, it's even, again, the motherhood dilemma.
It's a dilemma even when it comes to mothering your children.
You know what I mean?
How do you raise your children in a way that they're godly children?
That's the question.
Okay.
Moving now.
This is 2 Timothy 1, verse 5.
I am reminded.
This is Paul speaking to Timothy.
I am reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother, Lois, and then in your mother, Eunice.
And I am persuaded now lives in you also.
There is something that the Lord has given women, which we should all have sincerity of faith.
But there's something about the sincerity of faith that comes from a mother that is really persuasive to the trust of a child.
And there's something about it that can pass through the generations.
I've seen this time and time again.
One of the big questions I have as a parent, again, this is the question about godliness.
What is it?
Like, is there some trends that I see in parents that raise their children that actually continue to follow the Lord?
And as far as I can tell, and there's other verses that I'm going to quote on this, sincerity, I think, is one of the things that's at the top of the list.
I think there's something about being a hypocritical parent as it pertains to your faith that makes it really hard for your children to receive and trust in the faith that you followed.
But there's something about sincerity that really makes the way straight to the faith of your children.
And in this verse, Paul is saying that the same faith that his grandmother had was passed to his mother, and he is now persuaded has passed to him.
He's saying that there was a sincerity of faith that was a legacy through the line of mothers.
It's a really beautiful thing.
I think this is something that mothers have, that men, I think fathers also have, but there's something about this sincerity of faith that mothers have a unique leverage of influence over their children.
I'm going to move to another one.
This is Psalm 22, starting in verse 9.
Yet you are he who took me from my mother's womb.
You made me to trust you at my mother's breast.
On you was I cast from my birth and from my mother's womb.
You have been my God.
I think there's something about the nurturing care of a mother that is able to facilitate trust in their child and also make the way straight for them to trust the Lord as well.
That's what this verse is saying.
It's not just saying that he was Lord of him.
It's saying that he learned to trust the Lord from his mother's breast.
There's something about something that comes from a mother that is able to actually make the way straight for trusting the Lord even in young children.
It's a really beautiful thing.
All right.
Genesis 29.
This is the story of Leah, Jacob's second wife, the dejected wife.
When the Lord saw that Leah was hated, he opened her womb.
But Rachel was barren.
And Leah conceived and bore a son.
And she called his name Reuben.
For she said, because the Lord has looked upon my affliction, for now my husband will love me.
So for her first son, she thinks, maybe now my husband will finally love me.
She conceived again and bore another son and said, because the Lord has heard that I am hated, he has given this son to me also.
And she called his name Simeon.
Again, she conceived and bore a son.
And she said, now this time my husband will be attached to me because I have borne him three sons yet again.
Maybe now my husband will finally love me.
Therefore, his name will be called Levi.
And she conceived again and bore a son.
This time I will praise the Lord.
Therefore, she called his name Judah.
And then she ceased marrying.
One of the things my mom figured out later on in her motherhood is a lot of the affirmation from men that she was seeking.
A lot of her identity that she wanted built up and supported.
A lot of her confidence she was constantly looking to either in her father and her husband in different male roles in her life.
And she figured out kind of later in her parenting that she really could only get it from the Lord.
In a final sense.
It really came back to she needed to receive this from the Lord.
And that's the same thing that Leah ends up figuring out here.
Maybe now my husband.
And finally, I'll just praise the Lord.
You know what I mean?
And that's not a dig on your circumstance.
I think that it is a really unfortunate thing that so many mothers are in large part invisible and are in large part taken for granted.
But I want to tell you today, the Lord is not taking you for granted.
All right.
Luke chapter 10.
Very famous message.
Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village.
And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house.
And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet and listened to his teaching.
But Martha was distracted with much serving.
And she went up to him and said, Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone?
Tell her then to help me.
But the Lord answered her.
Martha, Martha, Martha, Martha, Martha, Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things.
But one thing is necessary.
Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.
I think that this is such a good encapsulation for all of us in terms of choosing the Lord and exalting the Lord above everything, choosing the one thing.
But I think especially for mothers, because I think women uniquely in their motherhood bear the knowledge of all of the anxieties and concerns and all the implications of a life constantly.
And one of the things that can happen is that perfectionism that hangs over you can cause you to feel like you literally have to be perfect on all fronts at all times.
The kids always have to be put together.
House always has to be put together.
You have to look good for your husband.
You have to be doing all the extracurriculars correctly.
Every single domain that you have is another domain of perfectionism that you feel like you have to rise to.
And if you don't do it all, what if you screw up your kids?
Or what if you, you know, are seeing even what you're taking for granted even more than you already are taking for granted, et cetera, et cetera.
But there's really just one great thing.
There's really just one great thing.
And it's really the Lord.
You know what I mean?
It's the same thing that Leah discovered.
It's choosing the Lord.
And really, this isn't even only about our own heart before the Lord, because it is our own heart before the Lord, but also even for our children, that our children would see that.
You know what I mean?
I think that one of the things that can be a dilemma, even in motherhood, is letting your life be about many, many things rather than one thing.
And I think we could even, for those of us who had mothers, we long for that in our mothers.
And that's an encouragement to you mothers, that you would choose that one great thing, because that's the thing even us as children longed for.
You know what I mean?
The mother that was the mother that was the one great thing.
The mother that wasn't torn apart by the perfectionism would be concerned about many, many things.
Romans, one second actually.
Romans 16, 13.
There is an adoptive power of motherhood.
Mothers have an adoptive power where other people, other than their own children, they can be as mothers too.
And for this woman, this is Rufus' mother, she was as a mother to the Apostle Paul.
And I think there's an extent to which motherhood is such a valuable and powerful thing.
And it can be easy to underestimate the gravity of what motherhood's influence, like the gravity and trajectory and transforming power of what a mother can have in the life of one important person.
In fact, one of the things I was even thinking about, I was listening to a panel discussion with like John Piper and what's his name?
A few of the other different reformed preachers.
And they were all talking about the importance of mothers.
And one of the guys asked, how many of you are here today because of the sincere faith of your mother?
And they all raised their hand.
And they all were like, you know what?
My mother is the one who really instilled faith in me growing up.
You know what I mean?
And there's an extent to which this even moves outside the bounds of even just your own children.
It's such a powerful thing when women also extend that adoptive power to other people.
You know what I'm saying?
And I actually think that this is one of those things where as believers, I think there can be a temptation to believe that everybody becomes a man.
Everybody becomes a woman.
But some people are mothers and some people are fathers.
But in the legacy of faith, everyone should be a mother at some point.
Everyone should be a father at some point.
Insofar as spiritual family is concerned.
And Rufus' mother was as a mother to Paul.
Proverbs 6.20.
Actually, I'm going to skip over that one.
Come back.
Proverbs 31.1.
It's the beginning of Proverbs 31.
About the noble woman.
The words of King Lemuel.
An oracle that his mother taught him.
So this whole chapter about the honorable noble woman is actually in large part inspired and spoken from the oracles that his own mother taught him.
There's something about motherhood that actually teaches.
You know what I mean?
Not only does it teach, but think about what a powerful legacy that woman had.
She's just another mom.
You know, in the invisibility and mundaneness of motherhood.
Raising someone who's going to be the future king of Israel.
And he writes an entire chapter just honoring her.
Honoring her and her legacy.
She is being seen.
She is being valued.
She is being acknowledged.
Proverbs 6.20.
My son, keep your father's commandment and forsake not your mother's teaching.
I think as I've gotten older, I've really treasured a lot of my mother's teaching.
In fact, some of what I'm even sharing right now with some of my mother's teaching.
And it's a really, really powerful thing when mothers take their powerful influence and instill and teach their children at a young age.
There's something about the wisdom that comes from a mother that's able to communicate things so incredibly deeply, even to very, very young children, that continues to reverberate for their entire life.
Women, do not undersell the importance of your teaching.
Do not undersell yourself in the importance of your teaching.
Again, Titus chapter 2, starting in verse 3.
Older women, likewise, are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine.
They are to teach what is good and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.
Even in this passage, it's this encouragement for women to teach.
I think there's such an incredible power that women have to teach.
And I think that sometimes, again, in the invisibility and overwhelmingness of the mundane and just trying to keep your head above water, women undersell themselves in the incredible power that they have to teach.
Teach.
All right.
This is Ruth chapter 1.
This is one of the most powerful pledges of loyalty in all of Scripture.
And it is not to the Lord.
It is to a woman.
It is to a woman who is a mother to Ruth.
And she said,
See your sister-in-law that has gone back to her people and to her gods.
Return after your sister-in-law.
But Ruth said,
Do not urge me to leave you or to return from following you.
For where you go, I will go.
And where you lodge, I will lodge.
Your people shall be my people and your God my God.
Where you die, I will die.
And there I will be buried.
May the Lord do so to me and more also.
Anything but death parts me from you.
This is not to a husband.
This is to the Lord.
This is to her mother-in-law who was a mother to her.
One of the things I think is so powerful about this.
Sometimes people will say things that are derogatory like,
Oh, you only believe that because your parents believe that.
Or you only believe in God.
Or things like that.
The sincere faith of a mother is a great reason to believe in God.
Ruth, her heart was so won over by the motherhood of her mother-in-law
that she so loyally not only served her God, but followed her.
She went on to marry Boaz, who is the great-grandfather of King David,
who is the legacy in his lineage was Jesus born.
This woman whose heart was won over by her mother-in-law and her mothering
was so persuaded, was so influenced by her that she believed in the God of Naomi.
And she went and married an Israelite.
And it was from her line that Jesus Christ himself was born.
What a powerful legacy.
Naomi's legacy, Naomi's faith was passed down to Ruth,
was passed down to Ruth and on and on and on,
all the way through the generations.
It was a beautiful, it's a beautiful,
it's a beautiful example of a legacy of a mother
that can really easily fly under the radar.
You know what I mean?
It can easily be swept under the rug.
John 19.
This also kind of flies under the radar.
This is one of the last things Jesus said.
When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple with whom he loved standing near by,
that's John.
The author of John always refers to himself as the one whom Jesus loved.
When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby,
he said to his mother,
Woman, behold your son.
And then he said to the disciple,
Behold your mother.
And from that hour,
the disciple took her into his own home.
One of the last,
this is the last thing,
according to scripture,
that Jesus had one of his disciples move.
And he,
it essentially is
this adoptive power of mothering.
He had them to be as mother and son,
that he would take care of her after he passed away.
Jesus did not take his mother for granted.
And the last thing,
according to scripture,
that he made,
he facilitated by way of his disciple,
was that his mother would be taken care of.
And I want to say to you women,
Jesus is not taking you for granted.
You mothers,
the Lord is not taking you for granted either.
And he cares for you.
And he seeks that you would be taken care of.
All right,
this is going to be a short one.
In closing,
I just want to bring it all together
and just say
that I think
for you mothers,
for those of you who can relate
with feeling taken for granted
and for feeling invisible,
I just want you to know
that the Lord truly sees you.
The Lord truly sees you
and the Lord truly considers
your motherhood
completely indispensable
and incredibly,
incredibly valuable.
And
any lie
that
is
easy
to creep in
that what you do
is not valuable,
the author of the universe
says otherwise.
I want you to take that
as an affirmation today
of your motherhood
and the importance
of your motherhood.
And also,
in the weightiness
and difficulty of motherhood
and being pulled
in many different directions,
I want to also say
that
the oppressive perfectionism
that can come about
as a result
of the difficult role
of motherhood,
the Lord wants you
to just choose him
and have him
as your one great thing
and that that is enough.
If you are doing that,
that is enough
and that's all you need.
You do not need anything else.
And also,
you husbands,
do affirm your wives.
Don't let them feel
invisible in things.
Don't let them feel
invisible in things.
Don't take them for granted.
And don't forget
that it is very easy
for them
to be oppressed
of many issues
and many criticisms
and many areas of life
where it's really easy
to feel like you're bailing.
Anyway,
I'm just going to close in prayer.
that it seems that