I don't even want to answer out loud, but how many weapons do you think are in this room right now?
Well, my guess is there's several pistols and knives that could be produced if needed.
No doubt.
But those are not the kind of weapons I want you to think about right now.
The weapons that I'm thinking about are our tongues.
For you see, this weapon, that tongue, on a daily basis is used more dangerously
and causes more damage than the guns and knives that we have in our possession right now.
The book of Proverbs describes the human tongue or human speech as something that is very powerful,
so powerful that it has the power of life and death.
Look at something we looked at two weeks ago from Proverbs chapter 18.
He writes, death and life are in the power of the tongue.
For the past two weeks, we've been looking at the destructive power of the tongue, haven't we?
We've been looking at the wrong use of our tongues.
And it's there.
It's present in our lives.
We're talking about the wrong use of our words.
We've noted over these past two weeks the harmful effect of things like gossip, slander, lying, boasting, or bragging.
We also looked beyond the speech problem to the real source of our problem.
It's a heart problem.
If we have corrupt words, it's because we have a corrupt heart.
And Jesus is the one who pointed that out very clearly in Luke chapter 6.
Look at it.
The good person, out of the good treasure of his heart, produces good.
And the evil person, out of his evil treasure, produces evil.
For out of the abundance of the heart, his mouth speaks.
Make it personal.
Out of the abundance of your heart, your mouth speaks.
And I pointed out last week, that is very convicting to me.
And I'm going to guess it's convicting to a lot of people.
Proverbs has much to say about the destructive power of the tongue.
But that's not all it says.
Look again.
Chapter 18.
There is life-giving power in the tongue.
Death and life are in the power of the tongue.
And that's what I want us to focus on today and next week.
I want us to think about the right use of words.
Or to be more Proverbs-like, let's think about it in terms of the wise use of words.
The first thing I want us to notice is, wise people speak truthfully.
That's just the opposite of what we saw two weeks ago.
Or no, really that one was last week.
The destructive power of lying.
But today we're going to look at the flip side.
The positive side.
Wise people speak truthfully.
And you know, Proverbs describes this in several ways.
It sort of sheds light on what we're talking about from different perspectives.
Look at the first one.
In chapter 15 it says,
A gentle tongue is a tree of life,
but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.
The word gentle is sometimes translated soothing,
and sometimes healthy.
A healthy tongue, a soothing tongue,
is a tree of life.
Healthy speech communicates complete truth.
Healthy speech is not a sick form of the truth.
Not a perverted form of the truth.
Now the reference to a tree of life points out
that this is the kind of speech that is life-giving.
It provides wisdom, truthful words,
soothing words,
healthy words,
provide wisdom for right living.
Now this form of speaking truthfully,
what it means is you state the facts as they really are,
not like you want them to be.
This kind of truthful speech means that you shoot straight.
You actually say what the facts require you to say.
On the negative side,
it means you don't twist the truth.
You don't mislead a person.
You don't pervert the truth.
Now, let's look at it from a different perspective.
From Proverbs 24.
Whoever gives an honest answer kisses the lips.
The NIV translates this in a more,
what we might call poetic form,
and shows the comparison being made better.
Look at it from the NIV.
An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips.
Now, the meaning here is that speaking the truth is not only right,
but it's good.
It's beneficial.
It's even pleasurable.
Old Testament commentator,
Tripper Longman,
he makes this comment about that verse.
He says,
Kissing and truth-telling
are two positive and pleasurable acts
one can perform or receive from the lips.
I know what you're thinking.
I thought the same thing.
The kiss has got to come from the right person
in order for it to be pleasurable.
You know, there's some people you just want to spit, you know.
Now, we're being honest here.
It comes to your mind.
But, let's be true to the text.
A kiss in the ancient world
and in some other cultures today.
It was looked upon very differently
from what we look at here in American culture.
The kiss in Proverbs
should be thought of as an expression of friendship
or even sometimes hospitality.
It is not a kiss that implies romance
or designed to be sexually stimulating
or anything like that.
The idea is that speaking the truth
is a positive experience
both to the one who speaks it
and to the one who is on the receiving end.
Now, let's stop and think.
You think about yourself.
Is speaking the truth
like what we're talking about?
Does that come naturally to you?
Because that's what's naturally in your heart.
Now, the red flag went up
when I use the word natural for some people here.
Because naturally, we're born sinners.
We're born with a selfish heart.
We're born with a heart that would cause us
to say whatever we need to say
to get our way,
to make life simple for us.
And so when I use the word naturally this morning
to talk about,
is your heart naturally
such that you are inclined to speak the truth?
I'm talking about someone who's a Christian
in whom the Spirit of God lives.
It's the Spirit of God working in us
that gives us the desire
to be truthful,
to be real.
Because that's just what we want to be,
we desire to be.
And so our words will naturally
be this way as well.
Is it your heart's desire
to be honest?
Is it your heart's desire
that what you say,
how you come across,
you are genuine?
I mean, you are truly sincere.
Does it bring pleasure to you
to be this way?
In not just what you say,
but in everything that you do.
Does it feel wrong?
Is there something within you
that just causes you to think,
this is not right,
when you twist the truth?
When you don't come all the way out with it?
When you're trying to hide?
When you're trying to deceive?
You know, speaking truthfully
is really one of the most
healthy, freeing,
life-enriching things
that we can do.
If you're someone
who always speaks the truth,
you don't have to worry
when you're around
a certain person
and think to yourself,
now what did I tell them?
If you're someone
who always speaks the truth,
it doesn't matter
if you're in this setting
having to scratch your head.
Now what was it I told them?
See, that's a sign
of somebody who is
either just a point-blank liar,
or they just want
to be deceptive,
or free with the truth.
That's hard
because you've got to remember
what you said,
where you said it,
who you said it to,
if you say things
that are other than the truth.
But when you speak the truth,
when you live it,
when that's who you are,
you can just go
and be who you are
wherever,
you can relax
because you're hiding nothing.
There's nothing
for anyone to find out.
That's why it's so freeing.
Wise people speak truthfully.
They think truthfully
because that's what's in their heart
by the grace of God
through the work
of the Holy Spirit.
They're a person of truth
just like Jesus,
embodied truth.
As His followers,
that's just who we are
as Christians.
But that's not all
Proverbs says
about this matter
of speaking truth.
Wise people also speak
appropriately.
You've heard the saying,
timing is everything.
Well, that applies
to just about everything
under the sun,
including our speech.
our speech.
Look at how Proverbs
makes this clear.
Chapter 15.
A person has joy
in giving an appropriate answer
and a word
at the right time
how good it is.
That's from the New English
Translation,
Internet Bible.
Look at it.
A person has joy
in giving an appropriate answer
and a word
at the right time
how good it is.
Look at another one
from chapter 25.
A word fitly spoken
is like apples of gold
in a setting of silver.
The word fitly
can be translated
skillfully
or even timely.
You know,
speaking the truth
cannot be overstated.
overstated.
But wisdom requires
that we learn
to speak the truth
in the right way
at the right time.
I like the way
Proverbs uses humor
to stress this point.
Chapter 27.
If anyone loudly
blesses their neighbor
early in the morning,
it will be taken
as a curse.
If you call me
at 4 a.m.
in the morning
to tell me
you'd really enjoy
this message,
I won't like it.
It will not be
you are blessing me.
If you call me
at 4 o'clock in the morning
and even tell me
how wonderful
my wife is
or grandchildren are,
I won't like it.
If you call me
at 4 o'clock
in the morning,
somebody should have died.
Isn't that true?
Or something similar.
That's what
is intended to be funny.
What he's saying here.
As we grow in wisdom,
we not only learn
the value
of speaking the truth,
but we learn
the value
of being appropriate
with it.
Saying the right words
at the right time
and in the right way.
that's important.
That's what wise
people do.
And let's go
a step further.
Wise people
speak calmly.
We'll look at
other words
for this,
but let's talk
now.
Wise people
speak calmly.
Here's what I'm
talking about.
Proverbs 15.
A soft answer
turns away wrath,
but a harsh word
stirs up anger.
Most translations
say a gentle answer.
A gentle,
a soft,
a calm answer
turns away wrath.
Think about it.
It's describing
a stressful situation.
Maybe you're in a group.
Maybe you're just
with an individual.
And you can tell
some tempers
are beginning
to flare.
People are getting
on edge.
You could cut
the tension
with a knife.
And what Proverbs
is trying to tell us
is a wise person
in such a situation,
they're not just
going to blurt
out the truth.
They're going to
try to speak
the truth
in an appropriate
way,
and in this case,
it'll be a calm
word,
a gentle
word,
a soft
answer.
Because speaking
like that
has a way
of diffusing
the situation,
has a way
of not
escalating things,
but calming
things down.
Now,
such calm,
wise words
are not
weak words.
We're not
talking about
being afraid
to engage
in conflict
when conflict
has to be.
We're not
talking about
you just,
you don't like
conflict,
and so you just
do whatever's
necessary,
even evading
what's right
and what's
truthful.
We're not
talking about
that.
Calm,
gentle
words
are powerful
words.
Look at
Proverbs 25.
with patience,
a ruler
may be
persuaded,
and a
soft
tongue
will break
a bone.
Speaking
figuratively
here,
a soft
word
is a
powerful
word.
It's
persuasive.
This
calm,
gentle,
appropriate
word of
truth can
persuade
someone
who's
in
power
above
you.
It is
helpful.
It is
useful.
You know,
another way
to describe
what we're
talking about
here is
we need
to learn
to act
rather than
react.
That's a
hard lesson
to do,
isn't it?
In some
situations,
you know,
tempers are
already
boiling.
you know
what you
want to
say,
you know
what you
want to
do,
and so
you just
react to
the situation
rather than
taking the
time to be
calm,
to think,
and to
act.
You've
heard it
said,
if something
happens,
piece of
advice,
you're angry,
you're upset,
you're sort
of stressed
out,
instead of
just saying
what you
think,
pause,
count to
ten before
you respond.
Sometimes you
need to
count to
a hundred
and ten,
because the
way we're
going to
respond is
not going
to be
good.
Sometimes we
need to
learn to
just do
whatever it
takes to
get our
emotions under
control so
we can speak
calmly,
instead of
harshly,
so that we
can help the
situation,
not hurt the
situation.
You know,
calm,
soft,
or gentle
words will
help all of
our relationships.
Everywhere.
But they
will help
especially at
home.
Why is it
that we
come to
church?
As a
general rule,
we are going
to be,
we are going
to use more
calm and
gentle and
soft language
at church.
You might
at work,
you know,
you don't say
everything you
think,
you just,
you try to
be calm and
in control.
You may be
that way at
school,
but at
home,
we let
down all
guards.
They know
me,
I know
them.
We know
each other at
our worst,
so we don't
even think.
We react
instead of
act.
we say
what we
think,
the way
that we
think it,
and it
causes
stress,
it causes
conflict,
it causes
hurt feelings.
Your spouse,
your parent,
or parents,
your children
would greatly
benefit
from calmer
words,
more
gentle
words,
less
reactive
words.
That's one
thing that I
wish I had
worked on a
whole lot
harder
when I was
younger.
See,
when I was
younger,
I thought
too much
in terms
of just
doing the
right thing.
Always,
you just
got to
speak the
truth,
do the
truth,
do what's
right,
and when I
was younger,
every hill
was worth
shedding blood
on,
if there
was something
right or
so forth
about it.
it's
amazing
how as
you get
older,
you think
about such
things,
you think
about some
of the
damage you've
done,
you see it
in other
people,
and you
come to a
conclusion,
or you start
thinking about
it,
this is not
only not
wise,
this is
foolish,
this not
only does
not please
and help
the situation
with my
family,
this doesn't
please God
at all.
You know,
it's good
for us to
speak the
truth,
but it's
not enough.
We need to
learn to do
what else
Paul said
in that
Ephesians
passage,
we need to
learn to
speak the
truth in
love.
You know,
if I think
about myself,
I've never
had a problem
stating the
facts as
they really
are.
In fact,
I've took
pride in
being a
straight
shooter,
but again,
the older
I get,
I realize
it's not
necessarily
good just
to be a
straight
shooter,
just to
state the
facts as
they really
are.
The truth
needs to
be spoken
appropriately,
in the
right way,
at the
right time,
and that
will include
speaking the
truth calmly,
gently,
with more
control,
and more
love,
and more
concern for
the other
person.
I know
better than
I act
even today.
I talked
about, I
wish I
had learned
those lessons
earlier, and
I sure do.
I still
haven't mastered
them.
I'm still
working on
it, but I
am aware.
I am more
conscious.
I am asking
God to
help me
to think,
to speak
more calmly,
to speak
more under
control.
And let's
go ahead and
look at the
next one,
and to
speak less.
Wise people
speak less.
You know,
if you just
read through
the book of
Proverbs,
that's a
great devotional
study.
There's 31
chapters.
Read a
chapter a
day.
Read it
every month.
You'll find
there's a lot
in Proverbs
about just
keeping your
mouth closed.
Look, here's
some examples.
Chapter 13.
Whoever guards
his mouth
preserves his
life.
He who
opens wide
his lips
comes to
ruin.
That's just
real clear,
isn't it?
Whoever guards
his mouth
preserves his
life.
Whoever opens
wide his lips
comes to
ruin.
Look at
another one,
Proverbs 11.
The one who
has understanding
holds their
tongue.
You know,
the word
understanding
is used
not exactly
but almost
interchangeably
with wisdom
a lot of
times in
Proverbs.
The one who
has wisdom
holds their
tongue.
One more,
Proverbs 9,
chapter 10
from the New
American Standard.
When there are
many words,
transgression
is unavoidable,
but he who
restrains his
lips
is wise.
Can you
argue with
that?
Everybody in
this room
doesn't just
talk and
have problems
all the time.
some of us
have a problem
more than
others.
But all of
us really do
need to
think before
we speak
and realize
that the
world would
not be better
off.
The world
would not be
missing something
if we didn't
say everything
that we
thought.
we didn't
contribute to
every discussion.
We know
this is true.
Just think
with me.
How many
times have
you held
your tongue
but later
on you
wished you
said something?
There are
some times.
There's a few
times where
you look back
and you think,
I wish I
would have
spoken up.
That's true.
But how
many times
have you
said something
and then
later on
you thought
to yourself,
I'd give
anything if
I had not
said a word.
If I had not
opened my
mouth.
If I could
somehow or
another see
all those
times in my
life, I'd
have to have
a calculator.
Wouldn't
some of you?
We need to
learn to
speak less
and listen
more.
James,
the proverb
guy of the
New Testament
says this,
Know this,
my beloved
brothers,
let every
person be
quick to
hear,
slow to
speak,
slow to
anger.
Great advice,
isn't it?
How do you
need to respond
to this
message?
speech?
As we've
gone through
this,
trying to
look at
more positive
aspects of
speech,
Scripture is
real clear,
we need to
speak truthfully.
But it's
also clear,
we need to
speak appropriately
in a timely
way.
And we need
to learn to be
under control
when we speak
and speak
calmly and
gently,
at least a lot
of times.
And most of
us would
profit from
speaking less.
So as we
think about
how we
should respond,
think about
it.
Ask God to
make it clear
to you.
And understand,
again,
what we're
talking about,
if you see
some problems
here,
it's not a
problem with
your tongue,
it's a problem
with your heart.
Because what
comes out of
our mouths,
it's in us.
It's who we
are.
And so if
God's speaking
to you,
He's not
saying just
try to clean
up your
language,
try to just
be more
positive.
He's telling
us to look
within at
who we are,
at our
character.
If you are
a Christian
truly indwelled
by the Spirit
of God,
He is
convicting
you about
some of
this.
Confess
sin if
there's
sin.
Make a
commitment
that you're
going to
seek to be
more sensitive
to the Holy
Spirit's
presence and
be one who
is more
calm,
more you're
going to
just work
on with
His help
to be aware
and then to
just do it.
Be more
calm,
be more
timely in
speaking and
in speaking
the truth.
It may be
that you're
not a
Christian and
as we've
gone through
this,
the Lord's
just shown
you the
problem's
you.
You're just
not a
truthful person,
you're not
anything like
what we're
talking about.
It's a heart
issue.
And if God's
showing you
that,
admit to
Him your
sin and
your separation
from Him,
that you're
not the
person that
He wants
you to
be.
Change your
mind about
that.
Turn from
that sin.
Put your
trust in
Jesus Christ
believing,
knowing that
when He
died on the
cross,
He actually
took the
punishment for
that sin,
for all your
sins.
Call upon
Him to
save you.
Our words
matter.
They matter for
all kinds of
reasons.
But I want to
conclude as I
have for the
last three
weeks now.
our words
matter because
they reveal the
condition of
our heart and
they will be
recalled by
God on
judgment day.
Jesus said
in Matthew
12,
I tell you,
on the day of
judgment,
people will
give an
account for
every careless
word they
speak.
For by your
words, you
will be
justified.
And by your
words,
you will be
condemned.
Let's pray
together.
Dear God,
drive home the
point to us
that our
words do
matter.
And Father,
help us to
see that
it's important
that we don't
just speak
negatively and
critically,
but that we
also
speak positively,
wisely,
speaking the
truth in a
timely and
an appropriate
way,
calmly,
gently,
having a
calming effect
on people and
situations.
Father,
show us how
we should
respond and
help us to
do that.
If I could
pray with you
in this attitude
of prayer,
just be
prayerful,
listen to the
Lord and
obey Him.
And if I
could pray
with you,
help you
during this
time,
I'll be
here at
the front,
happy to
do that.
Let's just
listen to
the Lord
and respond
as He
speaks now.