WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:22.539 1 Corinthians chapter 7, we're beginning today at verse 10 as we continue our series through 00:00:22.539 --> 00:00:32.939 this book. 1 Corinthians 7, starting at verse 10. These are Paul's words. 00:00:35.000 --> 00:00:42.700 To the married, I give this charge, not I, but the Lord. The wife should not separate from her 00:00:42.700 --> 00:00:48.739 husband, but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband, 00:00:48.740 --> 00:00:57.740 and the husband should not divorce his wife. To the rest I say, I, not the Lord, that if any brother 00:00:57.740 --> 00:01:03.420 has a wife who is an unbeliever and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. 00:01:04.260 --> 00:01:08.400 If any woman who has a husband who is an unbeliever and he consents to live with her, 00:01:08.500 --> 00:01:14.079 she should not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, 00:01:14.079 --> 00:01:19.500 and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise, your children would be 00:01:19.500 --> 00:01:26.599 unclean, but as it is, they are holy. But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. 00:01:27.560 --> 00:01:34.859 In such cases, the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. For how do you know, 00:01:35.079 --> 00:01:40.259 wife, whether you will save your husband? How do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? 00:01:40.260 --> 00:01:47.960 Let's pray. Father, we thank you for your faithful love to us in Jesus Christ, that you will never 00:01:47.960 --> 00:01:54.740 leave us nor forsake us. As we consider this topic of marriage and divorce, we pray that you would 00:01:54.740 --> 00:02:00.140 speak to our hearts and our minds through your word and by the power of your spirit. In Christ's name 00:02:00.140 --> 00:02:09.159 we pray. Amen. So this morning, we come to Paul's instructions about marriage and divorce. 00:02:09.159 --> 00:02:17.199 This can be a rough topic, but as we were singing this morning, great is thy faithfulness. 00:02:17.919 --> 00:02:25.259 Oh, the deep, deep love of Jesus. It is well with my soul when peace like a river attendeth my way 00:02:25.259 --> 00:02:32.919 or when sorrows like sea billows roll. Whatever my lot, you have taught me to say it is well with my soul. 00:02:32.919 --> 00:02:39.500 You know, we come together, we're broken people, but we come together because of the faithful love 00:02:39.500 --> 00:02:45.500 of Christ. So I pray that above all that you would know that this morning. All right, let's dive in. 00:02:45.599 --> 00:02:50.399 I think there are at least three factors that affect how we approach this topic of marriage and divorce. 00:02:50.560 --> 00:02:56.919 Number one, our culture. We live in a culture where divorce is relatively easy. All 50 states have no 00:02:56.919 --> 00:03:03.519 fault, divorce and common. Now, it's not true that 50% of marriages will end in divorce. That statistic gets thrown 00:03:03.519 --> 00:03:10.279 around a lot. The divorce rate has actually been going down since 1980, but if current trends hold, about one-third 00:03:10.279 --> 00:03:17.099 of marriages in the U.S. will end in divorce. Now, part of the reason divorce rates are going down is because 00:03:17.099 --> 00:03:23.039 fewer people are getting married, more people are just living together and then breaking up rather than getting 00:03:23.039 --> 00:03:30.979 married and then divorced. Anyway, so that's some of our culture. Second factor is our theology. Now, 00:03:31.039 --> 00:03:37.159 there's an ongoing debate among scholars and pastors who are all committed in principle to the authority 00:03:37.159 --> 00:03:43.479 of Scripture, yet come to some very different conclusions about divorce and especially remarriage. 00:03:44.060 --> 00:03:50.180 Some of you may be deeply influenced by a particular church teaching, and some of you may be reacting 00:03:50.180 --> 00:03:55.860 against a particular church teaching that you found to be unhealthy or unbiblical. Now, a few years ago, 00:03:55.939 --> 00:04:03.060 the elders of Trinity studied this topic together. We wanted to study it when it wasn't immediately a 00:04:03.060 --> 00:04:10.180 pressing concern in a very personal situation. And so, we developed a working paper that summarized 00:04:10.180 --> 00:04:16.600 our consensus and that guides our pastoral practice. And what I'll be saying today, this morning, 00:04:16.600 --> 00:04:23.560 is informed and guided by that consensus. Third factor, I think the most powerful factor for many 00:04:23.560 --> 00:04:30.180 of us is personal experience. Divorce isn't just a cultural phenomenon or a theological debate. It's a 00:04:30.180 --> 00:04:38.340 painful and personal reality. Maybe your marriage is deeply troubled and you're wondering, is there any way 00:04:38.340 --> 00:04:44.520 forward or would divorce be a better solution? Maybe your spouse has told you that they want a divorce 00:04:44.519 --> 00:04:50.599 and you're trying to figure out how to respond. Maybe you're living in the aftermath of divorce. 00:04:51.599 --> 00:04:59.479 Maybe you feel guilt and regret or hurt and betrayal or grief and loneliness. Your life, your family 00:04:59.479 --> 00:05:06.319 is being torn apart. Maybe you're wondering, how do I move forward after divorce? Should I stay single 00:05:06.319 --> 00:05:12.680 or should I consider getting married again? Now, some of you may never be in any of these situations, 00:05:12.680 --> 00:05:20.160 but we all need to consider what it means to come alongside your friends and especially our brothers 00:05:20.160 --> 00:05:27.040 and sisters in Christ who are in these very situations. Now, in 1 Thessalonians, Paul says 00:05:27.040 --> 00:05:34.699 to believers, he says, we should admonish the undisciplined, we should encourage the faint-hearted, 00:05:34.699 --> 00:05:40.839 and we should help the weak. And that's a good picture of Christian love. Sometimes Christian 00:05:40.839 --> 00:05:48.379 love looks like challenging someone who is stubborn or hard-hearted. Sometimes Christian love looks like 00:05:48.379 --> 00:05:53.860 encouraging someone who is discouraged, who is faint-hearted, coming alongside them 00:05:53.860 --> 00:06:00.939 and coming close to them. Sometimes it looks like helping the weak. And that word help means 00:06:00.939 --> 00:06:07.319 to take hold of someone and not let go of them and say, I'm going to walk with you through this 00:06:07.319 --> 00:06:13.519 and we're not going to leave you alone. And often Christian love is a mixture of all three of those 00:06:13.519 --> 00:06:19.720 things, admonishing, encouraging, and helping. So this morning I want to look at this passage 00:06:19.720 --> 00:06:26.000 in those three dimensions. First, culturally, I want to explain a little bit what this passage would 00:06:26.000 --> 00:06:31.040 have meant to the first century Corinthian Christians, a little bit of their cultural context 00:06:31.040 --> 00:06:38.040 compared to ours. Second, theologically, I want to put this passage in context of the other biblical 00:06:38.040 --> 00:06:44.160 teaching on this topic, but also of the big story of the Bible, God's purpose in creation, 00:06:44.860 --> 00:06:48.939 and the fact that we are living in a fallen world and how Christ has come to redeem us. 00:06:49.779 --> 00:06:55.000 And third, personally, along the way, I'm going to be giving some personal words of application 00:06:55.000 --> 00:07:00.860 and implications. So let's dive in. Number one, the cultural context, what this passage would have 00:07:00.860 --> 00:07:07.000 meant for the first century Corinthian Christians. Look down in your Bibles. There are two paragraphs, 00:07:07.620 --> 00:07:12.480 verse 10 and 11 and verse 12 through 16. Verses 10 and 11, Paul says to the married, 00:07:12.899 --> 00:07:18.620 I give this charge. He's talking to couples where both husband and wife are Christian believers. 00:07:18.620 --> 00:07:26.600 Now, in this section, Paul reaffirms the explicit teaching of Jesus about marriage and divorce, 00:07:26.780 --> 00:07:32.480 which is recorded for us in Matthew 19 and Mark 10. We read Mark 10 earlier in the service. 00:07:33.259 --> 00:07:41.120 And that's why Paul says in verse 10, not I, but the Lord. In other words, Jesus himself addressed 00:07:41.120 --> 00:07:48.280 this particular question. I'm just repeating and reiterating what he said in these verses. 00:07:48.279 --> 00:07:57.839 Now, verse 12, Paul says to the rest, to the rest, I say, I not the Lord. And in this paragraph, 00:07:57.839 --> 00:08:02.879 he's talking to Christians who are married to someone who does not share their faith. 00:08:03.939 --> 00:08:11.099 Now, what does Paul mean by I not the Lord? Verse 12, Paul is not saying here, 00:08:11.759 --> 00:08:15.559 this is just my personal opinion. You can take it or leave it. 00:08:15.560 --> 00:08:24.240 No, when Paul wrote to the Corinthians, he wrote with the authority of an apostle commissioned by 00:08:24.240 --> 00:08:31.759 Jesus Christ. So at the end of chapter 14, he says, if anyone thinks he is a prophet or spiritual, 00:08:31.959 --> 00:08:37.840 let him acknowledge that the things I am writing to you are a command of the Lord. At the end of this 00:08:37.840 --> 00:08:44.039 very chapter, he claims to have the spirit of God. Now, what Paul is saying here is, 00:08:44.039 --> 00:08:51.179 I'm addressing a situation that Jesus did not specifically address in his earthly ministry. 00:08:52.159 --> 00:08:57.980 So the church at Corinth, like many of the other new churches that had begun, started springing up 00:08:57.980 --> 00:09:05.779 all over the Gentile world included many people who were coming out of pagan backgrounds. And sometimes 00:09:05.779 --> 00:09:12.579 a whole household would come to faith in Jesus. We have a few examples of that. But at other times, 00:09:12.580 --> 00:09:19.620 only one spouse would come to faith in Christ and the other didn't. So it seems some of the 00:09:19.620 --> 00:09:25.879 Corinthian Christians were wondering, if I'm in that position, should I stay married to my unbelieving 00:09:25.879 --> 00:09:31.560 spouse or would it be better to divorce them and marry someone else instead, perhaps someone else 00:09:31.560 --> 00:09:36.720 more like-minded? Now, in ancient Corinth, here's a little context. Here's a little bit of the cultural 00:09:36.720 --> 00:09:43.840 context of ancient Corinth. Divorce was even easier than it is today because there was no legal process 00:09:43.840 --> 00:09:51.060 required. If the wife left home or if the husband sent the wife away, that was considered divorce by 00:09:51.060 --> 00:09:57.000 separation, even if there wasn't a signed agreement. Sometimes there was a signed agreement, sometimes 00:09:57.000 --> 00:10:02.240 there wasn't. The only potential legal dispute concerned who would get the dowry, 00:10:02.240 --> 00:10:11.519 basically how the finances get divided. Anyway. And divorce was very common. So there's one 00:10:11.519 --> 00:10:17.960 funeral inscription from a Corinthian couple who were married for 41 years. And it read, 00:10:18.379 --> 00:10:25.139 uncommon are marriages which last so long, brought to an end by death, not broken apart by divorce. 00:10:25.139 --> 00:10:31.820 Some scholars estimate, this is only a guess, that maybe the majority of Corinthian marriages ended in 00:10:31.820 --> 00:10:38.940 divorce. And after divorce, remarriage was expected and encouraged and nearly all ancient divorce 00:10:38.940 --> 00:10:44.720 certificates explicitly stated that both parties were free to remarry. So this is some of the cultural 00:10:44.720 --> 00:10:51.000 context in which Paul was writing. Divorce was easy and it was very common. And in this context, 00:10:51.000 --> 00:10:56.460 Paul sought to give scripturally grounded and contextually appropriate pastoral guidance. 00:10:56.960 --> 00:11:01.540 Paul recognized that he's dealing with a new situation that Jesus hadn't specifically 00:11:01.539 --> 00:11:07.000 addressed. Jesus was talking in a Jewish context to people who all accepted the authority of the 00:11:07.000 --> 00:11:15.980 Bible in principle. And Paul's realizing he's facing a new situation. And sometimes we find ourselves 00:11:15.980 --> 00:11:21.819 in a similar situation. For example, many modern technologies raise important moral questions 00:11:21.819 --> 00:11:25.919 that aren't directly addressed in the Bible because the technologies didn't exist back then. 00:11:25.919 --> 00:11:33.259 And the way Paul addresses this issue is an example for us. He gives pastoral guidance that is deeply grounded 00:11:33.259 --> 00:11:41.579 in scriptural principles and in the scripture storyline and well aware of his particular context. 00:11:42.639 --> 00:11:48.279 All right, so that's some of the cultural context. Second, the biblical context or the theological context. 00:11:48.399 --> 00:11:52.980 I want to talk about what does this passage mean in light of the big story of scripture. 00:11:52.980 --> 00:12:00.440 And again, the big story of scripture is God created us and everything to show his own glory. 00:12:01.259 --> 00:12:06.840 And he made us in his image. And yet we have fallen away from him because of our sin and rebellion. 00:12:07.480 --> 00:12:14.740 We live in a fallen world and Christ has come to redeem and heal and restore all that was broken by sin. 00:12:16.019 --> 00:12:19.480 And Paul's instructions make sense within this three-part story. 00:12:19.480 --> 00:12:26.600 So first, Paul begins by affirming God's original creational intent for marriage. 00:12:27.360 --> 00:12:33.860 Marriage is intended to reflect God's covenant faithfulness, his steadfast, unchanging love. 00:12:34.779 --> 00:12:37.639 So if you look down in both sections, how does Paul begin? 00:12:38.460 --> 00:12:42.320 He begins by urging Christians not to divorce their spouses. 00:12:42.320 --> 00:12:45.400 Verses 10 and 11. 00:12:46.940 --> 00:12:50.460 The wife should not separate from her husband and the husband should not divorce his wife. 00:12:50.560 --> 00:12:54.400 Now, Paul is not distinguishing between separation and divorce. 00:12:54.540 --> 00:12:57.520 That distinction did not exist in ancient Corinth. 00:12:58.180 --> 00:13:00.600 To separate meant to leave or to break off. 00:13:00.680 --> 00:13:02.980 To divorce meant to send away or release. 00:13:03.379 --> 00:13:05.440 Two different verbs, same effect. 00:13:06.420 --> 00:13:09.880 In verse 12 and 13, he uses the same verb for both husband and wife. 00:13:09.879 --> 00:13:13.919 And notice, Paul speaks equally to both husbands and wives. 00:13:14.779 --> 00:13:21.519 And this, in his time, the culture was changing, but it was still largely husbands who initiated divorces back then. 00:13:21.580 --> 00:13:26.879 But Paul, throughout this passage, places equal responsibility on both a husband and wife. 00:13:29.580 --> 00:13:35.080 So, Paul begins by pointing people toward God's intent that marriage be faithfully permanent till death do us part. 00:13:35.080 --> 00:13:39.340 And in this regard, Paul is closely following Jesus' example. 00:13:39.460 --> 00:13:42.860 As we read earlier, in Mark chapter 10, you might want to turn back there. 00:13:42.940 --> 00:13:44.580 The Pharisees came to Jesus and said, 00:13:45.139 --> 00:13:47.280 Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife? 00:13:48.620 --> 00:13:53.300 And Jesus did not immediately answer their question about if and when divorce might be permitted. 00:13:54.080 --> 00:13:57.480 He began by pointing back to God's intent in creation. 00:13:57.480 --> 00:14:27.460 Jesus said, 00:14:27.480 --> 00:14:33.139 Now, there are many other purposes that are connected with marriage. 00:14:34.139 --> 00:14:38.039 Marriage provides a context for procreation, for having children, raising children. 00:14:38.480 --> 00:14:41.899 Marriage is a form of mutual helpfulness and companionship and friendship. 00:14:42.500 --> 00:14:46.779 Marriage is the appropriate context for sexual pleasure and a guard against sexual immorality. 00:14:47.159 --> 00:14:50.740 In most societies, marriage conveys some practical economic benefits. 00:14:51.200 --> 00:14:55.100 But according to the Bible, the primary purpose of marriage is actually not any of those. 00:14:55.100 --> 00:15:08.300 The primary purpose of marriage in God's design is to be a picture of the intimate and exclusive and permanent union of two fundamentally different entities. 00:15:08.960 --> 00:15:10.600 God and his people. 00:15:11.139 --> 00:15:12.600 Christ and the church. 00:15:13.060 --> 00:15:14.200 Heaven and earth. 00:15:14.659 --> 00:15:15.840 Male and female. 00:15:16.220 --> 00:15:17.440 United as one. 00:15:17.440 --> 00:15:23.860 So that's why Jesus refers back to the creation account in Genesis 2, 1 and 2. 00:15:24.680 --> 00:15:26.700 God created humanity male and female. 00:15:26.840 --> 00:15:30.220 And he said the two shall be united and become one flesh. 00:15:31.220 --> 00:15:36.580 And that's also why marriage appears at the beginning, middle, and end of the Bible. 00:15:36.580 --> 00:15:40.200 You have the creation story in Genesis 1 and 2. 00:15:40.560 --> 00:15:42.560 And it culminates in marriage. 00:15:43.480 --> 00:15:47.020 Adam's saying to Eve, you are bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh. 00:15:47.060 --> 00:15:48.180 That's an oath of loyalty. 00:15:48.320 --> 00:15:50.320 It's saying we are one body together. 00:15:50.480 --> 00:15:52.900 We are inextricably united. 00:15:54.500 --> 00:16:01.480 And in that context of exclusive commitment, it's found a safe place for emotional vulnerability and physical intimacy. 00:16:01.720 --> 00:16:03.560 They were naked and unashamed. 00:16:03.559 --> 00:16:07.839 Marriage also appears in the middle of the Bible, in the Gospel of John. 00:16:08.759 --> 00:16:10.639 It begins with echoes of the story of creation. 00:16:10.759 --> 00:16:12.799 In the beginning was the Word. 00:16:14.039 --> 00:16:23.259 And then at the end of chapter 1, you come to chapter 2, and Jesus' first miracle happens at a wedding in Cana. 00:16:24.059 --> 00:16:26.799 The Bible also ends in the book of Revelation. 00:16:26.799 --> 00:16:32.659 The end of Revelation, Revelation 19, Revelation 21, is a vision of the marriage supper of the Lamb. 00:16:33.559 --> 00:16:37.299 When God and his people will be united forever. 00:16:38.500 --> 00:16:41.219 When heaven and earth are reunited. 00:16:41.919 --> 00:16:43.859 When God comes to dwell with us forever. 00:16:44.739 --> 00:16:52.139 And so marriage is very precious to God because it embodies and illustrates and bears witness to this eternal reality. 00:16:52.139 --> 00:16:57.679 And so Jesus says, in light of all this, what God has joined together, let not man separate. 00:16:57.679 --> 00:17:03.639 If your marriage is in trouble, this is the first biblical truth you need to consider. 00:17:04.299 --> 00:17:15.240 That God has joined you together, and so do all that is in your power to preserve and protect and deepen that union which is precious in God's sight. 00:17:15.240 --> 00:17:26.740 Now when Paul urges Christians not to divorce, in verse 10 through 13, he's not just warning against signing a divorce decree. 00:17:27.539 --> 00:17:37.980 The implication of his words is, don't let anything get in the way of the exclusive, intimate, persevering union into which God has called you. 00:17:37.980 --> 00:17:43.839 That's what Paul referenced in chapter 6, when he talks about the two becoming one flesh. 00:17:43.940 --> 00:17:50.900 And in verse 4 of this chapter, when he says that the wife and husband belong to one another, he's referencing that biblical vision. 00:17:52.319 --> 00:17:54.099 So brothers and sisters, don't settle. 00:17:54.839 --> 00:17:58.819 Don't settle for staying legally married, but living parallel lives. 00:17:59.380 --> 00:18:01.440 That's what many Christians end up settling for. 00:18:01.440 --> 00:18:08.180 They'll never get a divorce, but they've given up on building and growing in their relationship with their spouse. 00:18:09.480 --> 00:18:13.220 Don't let anger and resentment build up in your heart. 00:18:14.320 --> 00:18:21.779 Don't let conflicts smolder under the surface, unaddressed, unvoiced, unresolved. 00:18:23.080 --> 00:18:27.559 Wives, don't complain to your girlfriends about your husband's flaws. 00:18:27.559 --> 00:18:36.059 And beware the temptation to fantasize about a different kind of man who is more sensitive or who takes more initiative. 00:18:37.259 --> 00:18:44.319 Husbands, don't belittle your wife by dismissing her concerns and scorning her in your mind. 00:18:45.220 --> 00:18:48.519 And don't forsake her for a deceptive image on a screen. 00:18:49.980 --> 00:18:56.059 Song of Solomon says, catch the little foxes that spoil the vineyards. 00:18:56.059 --> 00:18:59.639 In other words, marriage is a garden to cultivate. 00:19:00.099 --> 00:19:04.879 Don't let it be overtaken by annoying, destructive pests. 00:19:06.200 --> 00:19:13.960 Hebrews 3 says, let us encourage one another daily so that we are not hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. 00:19:14.799 --> 00:19:15.940 Marriage can be hard. 00:19:17.220 --> 00:19:20.599 But it's worth investing in and it's worth persevering for. 00:19:22.240 --> 00:19:24.500 Now maybe you're facing more serious problems. 00:19:24.500 --> 00:19:28.819 If you're being physically abused, reach out for help. 00:19:29.880 --> 00:19:34.859 Seeking to preserve your marriage does not mean tolerating ongoing violence or threats. 00:19:35.500 --> 00:19:40.240 That's not good for you or your spouse and there are resources available to help both of you. 00:19:41.000 --> 00:19:44.380 But don't wait until it's a crisis to reach out for help. 00:19:44.380 --> 00:19:54.940 Often married couples don't seek help from a pastor or a counselor or a mature friend until one of them is already talking to the divorce lawyer. 00:19:55.840 --> 00:20:02.880 That's like calling 911 after the fire has been blazing for hours and three quarters of the house has already burned down. 00:20:02.880 --> 00:20:12.840 And then you call 911 and then you have three or four sessions with the marriage counselor and you're disappointed that your marriage isn't singing again. 00:20:14.900 --> 00:20:16.920 Because the house has been burning down for so long. 00:20:17.860 --> 00:20:22.740 Or other times people meet with the pastor or counselor but they don't come clean about what's going on. 00:20:22.740 --> 00:20:25.660 They say, ah, we've got a little smoke damage here. 00:20:26.319 --> 00:20:28.079 We need some help repainting. 00:20:28.460 --> 00:20:31.720 The reality is the load-bearing wall is crumbling. 00:20:32.839 --> 00:20:34.700 And the foundation is cracking. 00:20:35.420 --> 00:20:39.620 If you don't come clean with what's going on, nobody's going to be able to help you. 00:20:40.740 --> 00:20:42.279 And it goes the other way too. 00:20:42.279 --> 00:20:52.799 If you smell smoke coming from a friend's house, if you notice some funky, weird dynamics in someone's attitude toward their spouse, don't ignore that. 00:20:53.619 --> 00:20:57.759 Sometimes people who are really struggling don't know how to reach out for help. 00:20:58.299 --> 00:21:00.619 But they will respond if someone reaches out to them. 00:21:01.799 --> 00:21:03.980 But again, we shouldn't wait until there's a crisis. 00:21:05.639 --> 00:21:08.220 You know, some of you, I really appreciate this. 00:21:08.220 --> 00:21:12.099 Some of you ask me, how are things going with you and Jane? 00:21:13.099 --> 00:21:15.019 And you're not just being polite and saying, how are you? 00:21:15.139 --> 00:21:15.480 Good. 00:21:15.839 --> 00:21:17.339 But you actually really want to know. 00:21:18.460 --> 00:21:20.099 And we're doing great, by the way. 00:21:20.539 --> 00:21:26.420 But this should be a normal topic of conversation. 00:21:26.720 --> 00:21:30.339 You have complete permission to ask me that question any time you want. 00:21:30.639 --> 00:21:35.019 And if I seem to avoid it and give a vague answer, you can say, really, how are things going? 00:21:37.819 --> 00:21:39.799 That's part of how we can encourage one another. 00:21:40.680 --> 00:21:41.779 And pray for each other. 00:21:41.779 --> 00:21:46.579 And build each other up and rejoice in the goodness of one another's marriages. 00:21:48.899 --> 00:21:56.920 Now, before we continue on, Paul addresses, in verse 12 through 16, Christians who are married to people who do not share their faith. 00:21:57.639 --> 00:21:58.359 In particular. 00:21:58.460 --> 00:22:00.180 So let me speak to you, if that's you. 00:22:01.160 --> 00:22:06.000 Now, side note, if you're single and you want to get married, Paul says you should pursue someone who shares your faith. 00:22:06.319 --> 00:22:07.759 He makes that clear in verse 39. 00:22:07.759 --> 00:22:09.579 But Paul's not talking to single people here. 00:22:10.039 --> 00:22:11.740 He's talking to people who are already married. 00:22:12.660 --> 00:22:15.619 Most likely one spouse had become a Christian and the other hadn't. 00:22:15.819 --> 00:22:21.279 But whatever the situation was, let me speak to you if your spouse does not share your faith. 00:22:21.279 --> 00:22:34.039 Some of the Corinthian Christians were worried that because their spouse had not yet become a Christian, that they were being spiritually contaminated by their ongoing marital union. 00:22:34.039 --> 00:22:40.599 But in verse 14, Paul reassured them that actually the reverse is true. 00:22:40.599 --> 00:22:49.839 He says the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. 00:22:51.000 --> 00:23:00.819 Now, this doesn't mean that a spouse who doesn't believe in Jesus is actually saved and personally reconciled to God just because they're married to a believer. 00:23:01.000 --> 00:23:02.899 Verse 16 makes that clear. 00:23:03.599 --> 00:23:08.579 Your spouse may come to saving faith in Christ, but that's not guaranteed. 00:23:08.579 --> 00:23:21.859 What verse 14 does mean is that because the Holy Spirit dwells in you as a believer, the Holy Spirit now dwells among your family. 00:23:22.399 --> 00:23:27.000 Even if others in your family don't accept Christ. 00:23:27.779 --> 00:23:35.379 But as you love your spouse and love your children, they will experience the presence of Christ through you. 00:23:35.380 --> 00:23:46.520 So if you're married to a non-Christian, abide in Christ and let his presence flow through you into your home. 00:23:47.700 --> 00:23:57.700 Now, on the one hand, don't withdraw from Christian community or disobey Christ out of fear or desire to please your spouse. 00:23:57.700 --> 00:24:09.360 In order to be filled with the Holy Spirit continually and to let the presence of Christ overflow through you, you need your brothers and sisters in Christ to encourage you and build you up. 00:24:09.359 --> 00:24:22.219 But also, don't become so involved in ministry activities outside your home and marriage that you neglect your spouse and end up driving them away. 00:24:23.359 --> 00:24:30.839 If your spouse is a difficult person, don't avoid them just for that reason and get involved in a bunch of other church things. 00:24:30.839 --> 00:24:35.599 And that's sometimes a temptation for new and zealous Christians. 00:24:36.500 --> 00:24:40.319 But being a Christian should make you more committed to your marriage, not less. 00:24:40.859 --> 00:24:44.599 Even if your spouse is indifferent or resistant to the faith. 00:24:45.859 --> 00:24:48.519 Let your spouse and children see Christ in you. 00:24:48.619 --> 00:24:49.459 What does that look like? 00:24:50.299 --> 00:24:55.799 Looks like being patient and loving and persistent and forgiving. 00:24:56.599 --> 00:24:58.159 When you screw up, admit it. 00:24:58.759 --> 00:24:59.359 Ask forgiveness. 00:24:59.359 --> 00:25:05.000 That's something that as Christians we are empowered by the Holy Spirit to do. 00:25:07.519 --> 00:25:08.859 So this is where Paul begins. 00:25:09.019 --> 00:25:11.779 God's purpose in creation for marriage to be faithfully permanent. 00:25:11.939 --> 00:25:16.379 And he encourages all of us who are married to pursue that. 00:25:17.039 --> 00:25:19.539 But Paul doesn't just point back to God's purpose in creation. 00:25:20.159 --> 00:25:26.159 Paul also recognizes the second part of the biblical story that we live in a fallen world. 00:25:26.160 --> 00:25:31.080 And in this fallen world, divorce is a sad reality. 00:25:32.120 --> 00:25:36.100 If you look in both paragraphs in verse 11 and in verse 15, 00:25:36.740 --> 00:25:39.980 after affirming God's design for marriage to be faithfully permanent, 00:25:40.340 --> 00:25:42.519 Paul gives two but-ifs. 00:25:43.560 --> 00:25:46.580 Verse 11, the wife should not separate from her husband. 00:25:46.579 --> 00:25:51.720 But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. 00:25:51.720 --> 00:25:55.960 Verse 15, but if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. 00:25:57.139 --> 00:25:59.199 In such cases, the brother or sister is not enslaved. 00:25:59.480 --> 00:26:00.759 Now, what's going on here? 00:26:02.059 --> 00:26:07.659 Is Paul relativizing everything he just said about marriage, meaning meant to be faithfully permanent? 00:26:07.660 --> 00:26:08.140 No. 00:26:09.360 --> 00:26:15.180 But Paul, as a wise pastor, is recognizing that we live in a messy and broken world. 00:26:16.360 --> 00:26:21.120 And a good pastor doesn't just loudly insist on God's unchanging moral principles. 00:26:21.240 --> 00:26:24.940 A good pastor like Jesus comes to meet people where they are 00:26:24.940 --> 00:26:28.220 and help them take the next step toward where they need to be. 00:26:29.380 --> 00:26:30.480 That's what Christ did. 00:26:30.560 --> 00:26:31.400 He came to earth. 00:26:31.640 --> 00:26:34.560 He came to meet us where we are in all of the mess that we're in. 00:26:34.559 --> 00:26:39.799 And he came to bring us out of it and help and bring us into God's holy presence. 00:26:41.299 --> 00:26:43.599 So once again, Paul's following Jesus' example. 00:26:44.619 --> 00:26:46.720 When Jesus discussed marriage and divorce, 00:26:46.799 --> 00:26:50.059 he began by pointing back towards God's purpose for marriage and creation, 00:26:50.179 --> 00:26:53.740 but he also recognized the reality of divorce. 00:26:54.319 --> 00:26:57.899 If you look in Matthew chapter 19, verse 9, 00:26:58.740 --> 00:27:02.940 after reminding the Pharisees of God's purpose for marriage ever since the beginning, 00:27:02.940 --> 00:27:06.620 he mentioned one particular instance in which divorce was permitted. 00:27:07.500 --> 00:27:13.920 Whoever divorces his wife except for sexual immorality and marries another commits adultery. 00:27:14.559 --> 00:27:16.700 Now the background to Jesus' statement is this. 00:27:17.480 --> 00:27:20.140 According to the Mosaic law in the Old Testament, 00:27:20.680 --> 00:27:27.200 adultery and other forms of extramarital sex by a married person were punishable by death. 00:27:27.200 --> 00:27:32.779 So if the law was carried out, the adulterous spouse would be executed. 00:27:33.559 --> 00:27:36.700 The other spouse would then be released from their marriage obligations 00:27:36.700 --> 00:27:41.340 and therefore free to remarry if they so desired. 00:27:42.200 --> 00:27:43.880 Likewise, under the new covenant, 00:27:44.680 --> 00:27:49.019 in the case of sexual unfaithfulness that violates the marriage covenant, 00:27:49.600 --> 00:27:52.519 I think Jesus is saying divorce and remarriage may be permitted 00:27:52.519 --> 00:27:55.160 even if the adulterous spouse is still alive. 00:27:55.160 --> 00:27:57.759 Now, some people have wondered, 00:27:58.540 --> 00:28:01.940 why does Matthew include the exception clause, 00:28:02.320 --> 00:28:03.960 the exception for sexual unfaithfulness, 00:28:04.160 --> 00:28:09.080 where Mark and Luke and Paul in this passage don't explicitly include that? 00:28:10.279 --> 00:28:14.040 And the answer to that, I think, is when the Bible states a general rule, 00:28:14.720 --> 00:28:18.120 it does not always clarify in every instance 00:28:18.120 --> 00:28:22.500 whether or not there are occasional and unusual exceptions to the rule. 00:28:22.500 --> 00:28:26.240 For example, in the Ten Commandments, it says, 00:28:26.680 --> 00:28:28.099 do not bear false witness. 00:28:28.240 --> 00:28:31.319 In other words, don't lie or deceive other people. 00:28:32.259 --> 00:28:35.119 But there are at least two instances in the Old Testament 00:28:35.119 --> 00:28:39.299 where people are commended for acting deceptively. 00:28:40.799 --> 00:28:45.299 Rahab was commended for hiding the spies in her house 00:28:45.299 --> 00:28:48.799 and not telling the men of Jericho where they were 00:28:48.799 --> 00:28:51.039 because the men of Jericho wanted to kill them. 00:28:51.879 --> 00:28:54.299 And the Egyptian midwives in Exodus 1 00:28:54.299 --> 00:28:56.519 were commended for deceiving Pharaoh 00:28:56.519 --> 00:28:59.899 when Pharaoh wanted to kill the Hebrew baby boys. 00:29:00.859 --> 00:29:05.299 Now, these exceptions do not invalidate the general rule. 00:29:06.279 --> 00:29:10.000 This is not licensed to lie and deceive whenever you feel like it. 00:29:10.000 --> 00:29:14.880 But when merciless predators are trying to kill God's people, 00:29:15.099 --> 00:29:17.119 it's okay not to tell the truth to them. 00:29:17.640 --> 00:29:18.920 I think that's what it means. 00:29:19.339 --> 00:29:20.420 There are exceptions, 00:29:21.140 --> 00:29:23.339 but the exceptions don't overshadow the rule. 00:29:24.420 --> 00:29:26.259 And I think this is the balance we need to hold. 00:29:26.940 --> 00:29:29.880 If you read Christian writings on divorce and remarriage, 00:29:30.339 --> 00:29:32.859 there are writings that fall into both categories. 00:29:32.859 --> 00:29:35.859 I think some that fall into a harsh legalism 00:29:36.439 --> 00:29:40.379 and some that fall into a permissive license. 00:29:41.279 --> 00:29:42.500 And neither of those are healthy, 00:29:42.599 --> 00:29:44.799 and sometimes they can end up reinforcing each other, actually. 00:29:46.359 --> 00:29:49.500 All right, back to verse Corinthians 7 and the but-ifs. 00:29:50.000 --> 00:29:50.639 Verse 11. 00:29:51.939 --> 00:29:55.240 In one case, Paul counsels a divorced person 00:29:55.240 --> 00:29:58.240 to remain unmarried or be reconciled. 00:29:59.179 --> 00:30:02.139 The situation seems to have been some wives in Corinth 00:30:02.140 --> 00:30:06.240 wanted to divorce their husbands and marry someone else. 00:30:06.360 --> 00:30:08.880 Perhaps one or more of them had already left their husbands. 00:30:09.620 --> 00:30:13.680 And Paul is warning them specifically not to get remarried. 00:30:14.780 --> 00:30:16.340 Now, the reason for Paul's warning 00:30:16.340 --> 00:30:18.660 goes back once again to the Old Testament. 00:30:19.400 --> 00:30:20.360 Deuteronomy 24. 00:30:20.640 --> 00:30:21.180 Turn there. 00:30:22.280 --> 00:30:24.740 Deuteronomy 24 is the most extended discussion 00:30:24.740 --> 00:30:27.800 of divorce in the Old Testament law. 00:30:28.580 --> 00:30:31.400 It's a passage probably most of us aren't well familiar with. 00:30:31.400 --> 00:30:33.620 So that's why I want to read it. 00:30:33.840 --> 00:30:35.380 Deuteronomy 24, 1 to 4. 00:30:35.380 --> 00:30:39.100 When a man takes a wife and marries her, 00:30:39.600 --> 00:30:42.800 if then she finds no favor in his eyes 00:30:42.800 --> 00:30:45.260 because he has found some indecency in her, 00:30:45.520 --> 00:30:48.060 and he writes her a certificate of divorce, 00:30:48.620 --> 00:30:50.240 and puts it in her hand, 00:30:50.480 --> 00:30:52.040 and sends her out of the house, 00:30:52.200 --> 00:30:54.080 and she departs out of his house, 00:30:54.340 --> 00:30:56.980 and if she goes and becomes another man's wife, 00:30:57.200 --> 00:30:58.800 and the latter man hates her, 00:30:59.000 --> 00:31:00.640 and writes her a certificate of divorce, 00:31:00.740 --> 00:31:01.720 and puts it in her hand, 00:31:01.760 --> 00:31:02.880 and sends her out of the house, 00:31:02.880 --> 00:31:04.400 or if the latter man dies, 00:31:04.460 --> 00:31:05.480 who took her to be his wife, 00:31:05.740 --> 00:31:06.780 then her former husband, 00:31:06.840 --> 00:31:07.600 who sent her away, 00:31:07.700 --> 00:31:09.960 may not take her again to be his wife 00:31:09.960 --> 00:31:11.460 after she has been defiled, 00:31:11.980 --> 00:31:14.300 for that is an abomination before the Lord. 00:31:15.760 --> 00:31:16.120 Okay. 00:31:16.320 --> 00:31:17.260 Now, what does this mean? 00:31:17.700 --> 00:31:18.540 Among other things, 00:31:18.600 --> 00:31:20.800 it means that remarriage 00:31:20.800 --> 00:31:24.820 removes any possibility of reconciliation, 00:31:25.440 --> 00:31:26.320 marital reconciliation, 00:31:26.320 --> 00:31:28.220 with your first spouse. 00:31:28.220 --> 00:31:29.759 If you divorce, 00:31:29.980 --> 00:31:31.079 and then remarry, 00:31:31.319 --> 00:31:33.039 you can never go back 00:31:33.039 --> 00:31:34.559 to the first spouse. 00:31:35.200 --> 00:31:36.980 Not even if the second spouse 00:31:36.980 --> 00:31:38.779 dies or divorces you. 00:31:40.500 --> 00:31:42.480 And so Paul is speaking to followers of Christ. 00:31:42.559 --> 00:31:42.779 He's saying, 00:31:42.940 --> 00:31:45.000 if you are both followers of Christ, 00:31:45.299 --> 00:31:47.799 you should not permanently close the door 00:31:47.799 --> 00:31:51.160 to reconciliation by divorcing and remarrying. 00:31:51.980 --> 00:31:53.259 There are means, 00:31:53.480 --> 00:31:54.700 which God has provided, 00:31:54.700 --> 00:31:57.940 to promote reconciliation among believers 00:31:57.940 --> 00:31:59.759 who have sinned against one another. 00:32:00.660 --> 00:32:03.059 And you should do all that is in your power 00:32:03.059 --> 00:32:05.259 to make use of those means, 00:32:05.580 --> 00:32:07.259 even if you're already divorced 00:32:07.259 --> 00:32:08.360 or living separately. 00:32:09.380 --> 00:32:10.559 So Matthew 18 says, 00:32:10.880 --> 00:32:12.799 if your brother or sister sins against you, 00:32:13.160 --> 00:32:15.160 first, attempt to resolve the matter privately. 00:32:16.100 --> 00:32:17.660 Second, if that doesn't work, 00:32:18.059 --> 00:32:20.039 ask one or two others to mediate. 00:32:20.860 --> 00:32:22.299 That's where you ask for help 00:32:22.299 --> 00:32:23.700 from a mature Christian friend 00:32:23.700 --> 00:32:25.440 or a pastor or a counselor. 00:32:26.200 --> 00:32:27.759 If there's still no resolution, 00:32:29.120 --> 00:32:30.420 bring it then, Paul says, 00:32:30.539 --> 00:32:31.559 bring it to the church. 00:32:31.840 --> 00:32:32.299 In other words, 00:32:32.380 --> 00:32:33.340 call upon the elders. 00:32:34.900 --> 00:32:37.240 And as we saw back in 1 Corinthians 5, 00:32:38.160 --> 00:32:40.600 if someone persists in unrepentant 00:32:40.600 --> 00:32:42.100 and serious sin, 00:32:42.920 --> 00:32:44.340 the church should tell that person, 00:32:44.500 --> 00:32:46.120 we can no longer recognize you 00:32:46.120 --> 00:32:47.120 as a fellow Christian 00:32:47.120 --> 00:32:49.400 because your pattern of life 00:32:49.400 --> 00:32:51.259 is so far out of line 00:32:51.259 --> 00:32:52.840 with your profession of faith. 00:32:53.700 --> 00:32:55.240 But if that happens, 00:32:55.440 --> 00:32:58.400 we are no longer in the verse 10 and 11 situation, 00:32:59.120 --> 00:33:00.140 a marriage of two Christians. 00:33:00.259 --> 00:33:01.880 We are in verse 12 to 16, 00:33:02.700 --> 00:33:03.539 a marriage of one, 00:33:03.960 --> 00:33:05.840 of a believer and an unbeliever. 00:33:07.500 --> 00:33:08.920 So there's the first but if, 00:33:09.360 --> 00:33:10.059 verse 11. 00:33:10.460 --> 00:33:11.500 Here's the second but if, 00:33:11.580 --> 00:33:12.319 verse 15. 00:33:12.319 --> 00:33:14.779 If the unbelieving partner separates, 00:33:14.879 --> 00:33:15.599 let it be so. 00:33:16.639 --> 00:33:17.500 In this case, 00:33:17.579 --> 00:33:19.720 the brother or sister is not enslaved. 00:33:20.359 --> 00:33:21.200 So Paul's already said, 00:33:21.279 --> 00:33:21.939 verse 12, 13, 00:33:22.059 --> 00:33:24.059 if they consent to live with you, 00:33:25.059 --> 00:33:26.700 according to the covenant of marriage, 00:33:26.779 --> 00:33:28.000 you should not divorce them. 00:33:28.740 --> 00:33:29.159 But, 00:33:29.659 --> 00:33:31.439 if the unbelieving partner separates, 00:33:31.519 --> 00:33:31.879 he says, 00:33:31.939 --> 00:33:32.559 let it be so. 00:33:32.559 --> 00:33:35.240 There may come a time 00:33:35.240 --> 00:33:37.240 when you have done 00:33:37.240 --> 00:33:38.759 all that is in your power 00:33:38.759 --> 00:33:40.419 to preserve your marriage 00:33:40.419 --> 00:33:42.460 and to pursue reconciliation 00:33:42.460 --> 00:33:43.559 with your spouse. 00:33:44.659 --> 00:33:46.259 And your spouse persistently 00:33:46.259 --> 00:33:48.299 refuses to live up 00:33:48.299 --> 00:33:49.399 to their marriage covenant. 00:33:50.879 --> 00:33:51.859 And in that case, 00:33:51.960 --> 00:33:52.639 Paul says, 00:33:53.139 --> 00:33:53.940 let it be so. 00:33:54.639 --> 00:33:55.319 Let them go. 00:33:56.599 --> 00:33:57.839 Now you might be wondering, 00:33:58.299 --> 00:34:00.519 what exactly does that look like? 00:34:00.519 --> 00:34:02.400 How do I know 00:34:02.400 --> 00:34:04.379 whether I'm in verse 15 00:34:04.379 --> 00:34:06.019 rather than verse 11? 00:34:07.759 --> 00:34:08.139 Well, 00:34:08.780 --> 00:34:10.280 if they divorce you 00:34:10.280 --> 00:34:11.980 and marry someone else, 00:34:12.599 --> 00:34:14.960 there is no future possibility 00:34:14.960 --> 00:34:16.239 of being reconciled 00:34:16.239 --> 00:34:17.400 in marriage to one another. 00:34:19.019 --> 00:34:21.239 If they are sexually unfaithful 00:34:21.239 --> 00:34:22.480 and unrepentant, 00:34:23.579 --> 00:34:25.179 I think that goes back 00:34:25.179 --> 00:34:26.420 to what Jesus was referring to 00:34:26.420 --> 00:34:27.259 in Matthew 19. 00:34:28.300 --> 00:34:29.960 If they have abandoned you, 00:34:30.519 --> 00:34:31.880 definitively, 00:34:32.239 --> 00:34:33.280 persistently abandoned you 00:34:33.280 --> 00:34:34.440 or otherwise persist 00:34:34.440 --> 00:34:36.059 in violating their marriage covenant. 00:34:37.480 --> 00:34:38.579 That's what it looks like, 00:34:39.519 --> 00:34:42.500 what verse 15 looks like. 00:34:42.559 --> 00:34:44.119 The Trinity Baptist elders 00:34:44.119 --> 00:34:45.719 paper on divorce says this, 00:34:46.420 --> 00:34:47.599 divorce is never commanded 00:34:47.599 --> 00:34:48.300 in the Bible, 00:34:49.079 --> 00:34:50.360 yet when there is repeated, 00:34:50.940 --> 00:34:51.699 unrepentant, 00:34:51.820 --> 00:34:53.699 and hard-hearted violation 00:34:53.699 --> 00:34:54.820 of the marriage covenant, 00:34:55.300 --> 00:34:56.159 divorce may be 00:34:56.159 --> 00:34:57.420 an appropriate response 00:34:57.420 --> 00:34:58.639 as a last resort. 00:34:58.639 --> 00:35:00.299 Only after attempts 00:35:00.299 --> 00:35:01.879 to resolve matters privately 00:35:01.879 --> 00:35:04.000 as well as with mediation 00:35:04.000 --> 00:35:05.559 have produced no resolution. 00:35:07.099 --> 00:35:07.440 Now, 00:35:07.519 --> 00:35:08.279 if you think you are 00:35:08.279 --> 00:35:09.159 in the situation 00:35:09.159 --> 00:35:10.299 of verse 15 00:35:10.299 --> 00:35:12.039 rather than verse 11, 00:35:12.400 --> 00:35:13.279 let me encourage you 00:35:13.279 --> 00:35:14.239 not to make 00:35:14.239 --> 00:35:15.599 this judgment call 00:35:15.599 --> 00:35:17.119 completely on your own. 00:35:17.900 --> 00:35:19.539 You need wise counsel 00:35:19.539 --> 00:35:21.879 and not just legal 00:35:21.879 --> 00:35:23.159 or financial counsel. 00:35:23.159 --> 00:35:24.980 many situations 00:35:24.980 --> 00:35:26.659 are far more complex 00:35:26.659 --> 00:35:27.679 and messy 00:35:27.679 --> 00:35:29.199 than I can categorize 00:35:29.199 --> 00:35:29.699 in a sermon. 00:35:30.699 --> 00:35:31.739 And you need 00:35:31.739 --> 00:35:32.980 godly spiritual leaders 00:35:32.980 --> 00:35:33.980 who can help you 00:35:33.980 --> 00:35:35.239 sort things out 00:35:35.239 --> 00:35:36.679 and think things through. 00:35:37.519 --> 00:35:38.480 And this is part 00:35:38.480 --> 00:35:39.460 of our responsibility 00:35:39.460 --> 00:35:40.259 as the elders 00:35:40.259 --> 00:35:41.000 of the church 00:35:41.000 --> 00:35:42.059 and we take that 00:35:42.059 --> 00:35:43.000 very seriously. 00:35:44.399 --> 00:35:45.559 And if your marriage 00:35:45.559 --> 00:35:46.619 is breaking down, 00:35:47.319 --> 00:35:48.259 you need brothers 00:35:48.259 --> 00:35:48.799 and sisters 00:35:48.799 --> 00:35:50.099 who will walk with you 00:35:50.099 --> 00:35:51.500 and pray with you 00:35:51.500 --> 00:35:52.920 and help you through 00:35:52.920 --> 00:35:53.880 the grief 00:35:53.880 --> 00:35:55.039 and anguish 00:35:55.039 --> 00:35:55.980 and anger 00:35:55.980 --> 00:35:56.860 and confusion 00:35:56.860 --> 00:35:57.860 that you may feel. 00:35:58.619 --> 00:35:59.320 When your marriage 00:35:59.320 --> 00:36:00.219 is breaking apart, 00:36:00.900 --> 00:36:01.860 you need the family 00:36:01.860 --> 00:36:02.400 of God. 00:36:03.920 --> 00:36:04.760 And brothers and sisters 00:36:04.760 --> 00:36:05.239 in Christ, 00:36:05.400 --> 00:36:06.539 we as the body 00:36:06.539 --> 00:36:07.239 of Christ 00:36:07.239 --> 00:36:08.699 need to come 00:36:08.699 --> 00:36:09.500 alongside people 00:36:10.079 --> 00:36:11.500 who are being mistreated 00:36:12.280 --> 00:36:13.820 or who have been 00:36:13.820 --> 00:36:14.800 abandoned by an 00:36:14.800 --> 00:36:15.760 unbelieving partner 00:36:15.760 --> 00:36:17.199 just as much 00:36:17.199 --> 00:36:18.320 as we come alongside 00:36:18.320 --> 00:36:19.039 widows 00:36:19.039 --> 00:36:20.579 who are mourning 00:36:20.579 --> 00:36:21.019 the death 00:36:21.019 --> 00:36:21.779 of their spouse. 00:36:22.880 --> 00:36:23.880 Divorce is a kind 00:36:23.880 --> 00:36:24.420 of death 00:36:24.420 --> 00:36:25.679 and the grief 00:36:25.679 --> 00:36:26.300 that follows 00:36:26.300 --> 00:36:27.639 is not quickly resolved. 00:36:28.639 --> 00:36:29.480 We need to mourn 00:36:29.480 --> 00:36:30.480 with those who mourn, 00:36:31.259 --> 00:36:32.199 help those who find 00:36:32.199 --> 00:36:33.279 themselves in practical 00:36:33.279 --> 00:36:33.759 need, 00:36:34.219 --> 00:36:34.980 and care for the 00:36:34.980 --> 00:36:35.960 children involved. 00:36:37.759 --> 00:36:38.559 Now Paul goes on 00:36:38.559 --> 00:36:38.980 to say, 00:36:39.139 --> 00:36:39.960 in this case, 00:36:40.500 --> 00:36:41.400 the brother or sister 00:36:41.400 --> 00:36:42.500 is not enslaved. 00:36:43.539 --> 00:36:44.300 In other words, 00:36:44.360 --> 00:36:45.099 if the unbelieving 00:36:45.099 --> 00:36:46.119 partner separates, 00:36:47.019 --> 00:36:47.820 you are released 00:36:47.820 --> 00:36:48.559 from your marital 00:36:48.559 --> 00:36:49.300 obligations. 00:36:50.860 --> 00:36:51.900 You are no longer 00:36:51.900 --> 00:36:52.900 obligated to pursue 00:36:52.900 --> 00:36:54.100 reconciliation because 00:36:54.100 --> 00:36:55.780 the implication is 00:36:55.780 --> 00:36:56.380 you have done 00:36:56.380 --> 00:36:57.580 all that you can. 00:36:58.700 --> 00:36:59.660 You have engaged 00:36:59.660 --> 00:37:00.559 in a process 00:37:00.559 --> 00:37:03.460 and there has been 00:37:03.460 --> 00:37:05.080 a definitive 00:37:05.080 --> 00:37:07.800 ongoing violation 00:37:07.800 --> 00:37:08.700 of the marriage covenant. 00:37:09.700 --> 00:37:10.280 And therefore, 00:37:11.039 --> 00:37:12.000 I think verse 15 00:37:12.000 --> 00:37:12.920 means you are also 00:37:12.920 --> 00:37:13.980 free to remarry. 00:37:14.680 --> 00:37:14.900 Now, 00:37:15.640 --> 00:37:17.100 some Christians believe 00:37:17.099 --> 00:37:18.299 that remarriage 00:37:18.299 --> 00:37:19.500 is always sinful 00:37:19.500 --> 00:37:20.920 unless your first 00:37:20.920 --> 00:37:21.900 spouse has died. 00:37:22.519 --> 00:37:23.259 On the basis 00:37:23.259 --> 00:37:24.219 of verse 15, 00:37:24.719 --> 00:37:25.619 especially comparing 00:37:25.619 --> 00:37:26.639 it to verse 11, 00:37:27.199 --> 00:37:27.779 where Paul seems 00:37:27.779 --> 00:37:28.279 to be giving 00:37:28.279 --> 00:37:29.400 different counsel 00:37:29.400 --> 00:37:30.819 and different situations, 00:37:32.279 --> 00:37:33.259 and on the basis 00:37:33.259 --> 00:37:33.779 of other reasons, 00:37:33.839 --> 00:37:34.500 I think that view 00:37:34.500 --> 00:37:35.119 is wrong. 00:37:35.920 --> 00:37:37.139 At the same time, 00:37:38.000 --> 00:37:39.039 remarriage should not 00:37:39.039 --> 00:37:40.119 be entered into 00:37:40.119 --> 00:37:40.839 hastily. 00:37:42.239 --> 00:37:43.279 After a divorce, 00:37:43.839 --> 00:37:44.900 just as after a death 00:37:44.900 --> 00:37:45.400 of a spouse, 00:37:45.500 --> 00:37:45.960 you need time 00:37:45.960 --> 00:37:47.099 to grieve and heal. 00:37:48.180 --> 00:37:49.079 You may also need 00:37:49.079 --> 00:37:49.740 extended time 00:37:49.740 --> 00:37:51.119 to reflect and repent 00:37:51.119 --> 00:37:52.180 of the ways 00:37:52.180 --> 00:37:53.160 that you contributed 00:37:53.160 --> 00:37:54.260 to the failure 00:37:54.260 --> 00:37:54.880 of the marriage 00:37:54.880 --> 00:37:56.200 before you consider 00:37:56.200 --> 00:37:57.180 starting a new one. 00:37:57.860 --> 00:37:58.680 And as Paul will 00:37:58.680 --> 00:37:59.360 emphasize later 00:37:59.360 --> 00:38:00.059 in this chapter, 00:38:00.619 --> 00:38:01.400 you may be called 00:38:01.400 --> 00:38:02.260 to remain single 00:38:02.260 --> 00:38:02.920 like Paul, 00:38:03.300 --> 00:38:04.680 and that's not at all 00:38:04.680 --> 00:38:05.440 a bad thing. 00:38:05.440 --> 00:38:08.320 So, 00:38:09.179 --> 00:38:10.480 we've seen God's 00:38:10.480 --> 00:38:11.440 creational intent 00:38:11.440 --> 00:38:12.760 for marriage 00:38:12.760 --> 00:38:13.380 to be faithfully 00:38:13.380 --> 00:38:13.800 permanent. 00:38:14.260 --> 00:38:14.980 We've seen Paul 00:38:14.980 --> 00:38:15.820 speaking to the 00:38:15.820 --> 00:38:16.820 complex realities 00:38:16.820 --> 00:38:17.539 of living in a 00:38:17.539 --> 00:38:18.300 fallen world. 00:38:19.619 --> 00:38:20.260 But finally, 00:38:20.360 --> 00:38:21.240 the Bible points us 00:38:21.240 --> 00:38:21.920 to the redemption 00:38:21.920 --> 00:38:23.579 and healing 00:38:23.579 --> 00:38:24.840 that comes through 00:38:24.840 --> 00:38:25.220 Christ. 00:38:26.500 --> 00:38:27.240 Now, maybe you hear 00:38:27.240 --> 00:38:27.840 all this 00:38:27.840 --> 00:38:30.119 and you think, 00:38:30.220 --> 00:38:31.019 I've really blown it. 00:38:32.599 --> 00:38:33.840 I've really messed up 00:38:33.840 --> 00:38:34.780 in my marriage. 00:38:35.840 --> 00:38:36.840 I've caused a lot 00:38:36.840 --> 00:38:37.300 of the problems 00:38:37.300 --> 00:38:37.820 that we're having. 00:38:39.139 --> 00:38:39.800 Maybe you're still 00:38:39.800 --> 00:38:40.579 reeling from the 00:38:40.579 --> 00:38:41.619 rejection of a divorce. 00:38:41.840 --> 00:38:43.760 You're wrestling 00:38:43.760 --> 00:38:44.480 with bitterness, 00:38:45.400 --> 00:38:45.900 cynicism. 00:38:46.360 --> 00:38:47.519 You feel alone 00:38:47.519 --> 00:38:48.900 and beaten down. 00:38:50.539 --> 00:38:51.860 Maybe you remarried 00:38:51.860 --> 00:38:53.980 when you hadn't 00:38:53.980 --> 00:38:55.260 completed the process 00:38:55.260 --> 00:38:55.760 of pursuing 00:38:55.760 --> 00:38:56.440 reconciliation 00:38:56.440 --> 00:38:58.260 with a former spouse. 00:39:00.119 --> 00:39:01.260 Maybe you can't fix 00:39:01.260 --> 00:39:01.840 what went wrong 00:39:01.840 --> 00:39:02.460 in the past. 00:39:03.519 --> 00:39:04.700 If you've remarried, 00:39:04.699 --> 00:39:06.199 you need to remain 00:39:06.199 --> 00:39:08.659 faithful to the marriage 00:39:08.659 --> 00:39:09.339 you are in now. 00:39:11.500 --> 00:39:12.980 But the good news is 00:39:12.980 --> 00:39:14.559 Christ came 00:39:14.559 --> 00:39:15.939 and Christ died 00:39:15.939 --> 00:39:17.179 to bring redemption 00:39:17.179 --> 00:39:18.159 and healing 00:39:18.159 --> 00:39:19.719 and hope for the future 00:39:19.719 --> 00:39:20.699 through his death 00:39:20.699 --> 00:39:21.319 and resurrection. 00:39:23.079 --> 00:39:24.399 Now, I want to conclude 00:39:24.399 --> 00:39:26.500 by sharing two scriptures 00:39:26.500 --> 00:39:27.480 that were shared with me 00:39:27.480 --> 00:39:28.039 this week 00:39:28.039 --> 00:39:29.819 by people in this church 00:39:29.819 --> 00:39:30.899 who have been divorced 00:39:30.900 --> 00:39:33.220 as I was talking 00:39:33.220 --> 00:39:33.720 with them 00:39:33.720 --> 00:39:35.019 about preparing 00:39:35.019 --> 00:39:35.660 for this sermon. 00:39:36.780 --> 00:39:37.840 One person shared 00:39:37.840 --> 00:39:38.380 with me 00:39:38.380 --> 00:39:39.920 Ephesians 5, 00:39:40.000 --> 00:39:41.000 11 to 14, 00:39:41.240 --> 00:39:41.940 which says, 00:39:42.300 --> 00:39:43.680 Take no part 00:39:43.680 --> 00:39:44.539 in the unfruitful 00:39:44.539 --> 00:39:45.380 works of darkness, 00:39:45.539 --> 00:39:47.039 but instead expose them. 00:39:47.700 --> 00:39:48.300 When anything 00:39:48.300 --> 00:39:49.180 is exposed 00:39:49.180 --> 00:39:50.019 by the light, 00:39:50.099 --> 00:39:51.000 it becomes visible. 00:39:51.539 --> 00:39:52.139 For anything 00:39:52.139 --> 00:39:53.220 that becomes visible 00:39:53.220 --> 00:39:54.119 is light. 00:39:54.599 --> 00:39:54.960 Therefore, 00:39:55.139 --> 00:39:55.639 it says, 00:39:55.760 --> 00:39:56.180 Awake, 00:39:56.280 --> 00:39:56.900 O sleeper, 00:39:56.940 --> 00:39:57.500 and arise 00:39:57.500 --> 00:39:58.079 from the dead, 00:39:58.139 --> 00:39:58.780 and Christ 00:39:58.780 --> 00:40:00.600 will shine on you. 00:40:01.720 --> 00:40:02.540 This person said, 00:40:02.660 --> 00:40:03.540 We need to expose 00:40:03.540 --> 00:40:04.440 our marriages 00:40:04.440 --> 00:40:05.260 to the light. 00:40:06.320 --> 00:40:07.340 Admit to the issues 00:40:07.340 --> 00:40:08.180 that are wrong, 00:40:08.519 --> 00:40:09.300 and let the light 00:40:09.300 --> 00:40:10.440 of Christ shine in 00:40:10.440 --> 00:40:12.019 so we can be transformed. 00:40:12.980 --> 00:40:13.780 The church is called 00:40:13.780 --> 00:40:14.940 to expose sin, 00:40:15.019 --> 00:40:16.519 to call it what it is, 00:40:16.900 --> 00:40:17.640 and then help 00:40:17.640 --> 00:40:18.300 the victim 00:40:18.300 --> 00:40:19.540 and the victimizer 00:40:19.540 --> 00:40:20.420 move toward 00:40:20.420 --> 00:40:21.120 reconciliation 00:40:21.120 --> 00:40:22.560 and resurrection. 00:40:23.840 --> 00:40:24.160 You see, 00:40:24.240 --> 00:40:25.500 sin never goes away 00:40:25.500 --> 00:40:26.460 when it's hiding 00:40:26.460 --> 00:40:27.120 in the darkness. 00:40:27.119 --> 00:40:28.920 But when we bring 00:40:28.920 --> 00:40:29.380 our sin, 00:40:29.460 --> 00:40:30.359 whether it's past 00:40:30.359 --> 00:40:31.420 or present, 00:40:31.619 --> 00:40:32.440 into the light 00:40:32.440 --> 00:40:33.179 of Christ, 00:40:33.460 --> 00:40:34.259 there's a promise 00:40:34.259 --> 00:40:34.940 of healing 00:40:34.940 --> 00:40:36.659 and resurrection life. 00:40:37.359 --> 00:40:37.779 Paul says, 00:40:37.940 --> 00:40:38.319 Wake up, 00:40:38.380 --> 00:40:39.019 O sleeper, 00:40:39.099 --> 00:40:40.359 rise from the dead. 00:40:41.079 --> 00:40:41.460 Yes, 00:40:42.359 --> 00:40:43.259 you can rise 00:40:43.259 --> 00:40:44.000 from the dead 00:40:44.000 --> 00:40:45.619 in Christ 00:40:45.619 --> 00:40:47.819 when his light 00:40:47.819 --> 00:40:48.599 shines upon you 00:40:48.599 --> 00:40:49.079 when you come 00:40:49.079 --> 00:40:49.799 into his light. 00:40:51.359 --> 00:40:52.279 Second verse 00:40:52.279 --> 00:40:53.599 that someone else 00:40:53.599 --> 00:40:54.279 shared with me 00:40:54.280 --> 00:40:56.320 is Psalm 13, 00:40:56.740 --> 00:40:57.820 5-6, 00:40:58.820 --> 00:40:59.880 which says, 00:40:59.980 --> 00:41:00.519 I have trusted 00:41:00.519 --> 00:41:02.180 in your steadfast love 00:41:02.180 --> 00:41:03.800 and my heart 00:41:03.800 --> 00:41:04.440 shall rejoice 00:41:04.440 --> 00:41:05.440 in your salvation. 00:41:06.200 --> 00:41:06.960 I will sing 00:41:06.960 --> 00:41:07.519 to the Lord 00:41:07.519 --> 00:41:08.540 because he has dealt 00:41:08.540 --> 00:41:09.740 bountifully with me. 00:41:10.460 --> 00:41:11.720 If you've been betrayed 00:41:11.720 --> 00:41:13.300 or abandoned, 00:41:14.100 --> 00:41:15.340 you need to know 00:41:15.340 --> 00:41:16.220 that you have a God 00:41:16.220 --> 00:41:17.300 who will never 00:41:17.300 --> 00:41:18.100 give up on you, 00:41:18.980 --> 00:41:19.740 who will never 00:41:19.740 --> 00:41:20.640 stop loving you, 00:41:21.440 --> 00:41:22.100 who will never 00:41:22.100 --> 00:41:22.800 forsake you, 00:41:22.800 --> 00:41:23.860 who will always 00:41:23.860 --> 00:41:24.620 keep his promises 00:41:24.620 --> 00:41:25.519 and who loves 00:41:25.519 --> 00:41:27.140 and cherishes you 00:41:27.140 --> 00:41:28.320 as his beloved 00:41:28.320 --> 00:41:29.720 son or daughter, 00:41:30.720 --> 00:41:32.460 who sings over you 00:41:32.460 --> 00:41:33.280 as that verse 00:41:33.280 --> 00:41:34.180 in Zephaniah said, 00:41:35.100 --> 00:41:37.060 who rejoices over you 00:41:37.060 --> 00:41:37.680 with singing. 00:41:40.680 --> 00:41:42.080 In Jesus Christ, 00:41:42.660 --> 00:41:44.660 you have a spouse. 00:41:46.360 --> 00:41:47.320 You have a God 00:41:47.320 --> 00:41:48.700 who has become 00:41:48.700 --> 00:41:49.760 bone of our bone, 00:41:49.900 --> 00:41:50.880 flesh of our flesh, 00:41:50.880 --> 00:41:51.840 who has made 00:41:51.840 --> 00:41:52.980 marriage vows 00:41:52.980 --> 00:41:53.599 to you 00:41:53.599 --> 00:41:55.420 and poured out 00:41:55.420 --> 00:41:56.360 his life on the cross 00:41:56.360 --> 00:41:57.160 to prove 00:41:57.160 --> 00:41:58.019 his love 00:41:58.019 --> 00:41:58.820 and loyalty 00:41:58.820 --> 00:41:59.780 and faithfulness 00:41:59.780 --> 00:42:00.200 to you. 00:42:00.559 --> 00:42:01.420 He is the one 00:42:01.420 --> 00:42:02.119 you can lean on 00:42:02.119 --> 00:42:03.059 when no one else 00:42:03.059 --> 00:42:03.680 is there. 00:42:04.680 --> 00:42:05.320 He is the one 00:42:05.320 --> 00:42:06.420 who hears your cries 00:42:06.420 --> 00:42:06.860 in the middle 00:42:06.860 --> 00:42:07.480 of the night 00:42:07.480 --> 00:42:09.460 and his steadfast love 00:42:09.460 --> 00:42:09.960 can give you 00:42:09.960 --> 00:42:11.200 renewed joy 00:42:11.200 --> 00:42:13.599 even after your world 00:42:13.599 --> 00:42:14.579 has been torn apart. 00:42:14.579 --> 00:42:20.219 That's what we've sung 00:42:20.219 --> 00:42:20.960 about this morning. 00:42:22.219 --> 00:42:23.380 The deep, deep love 00:42:23.380 --> 00:42:23.960 of Jesus. 00:42:25.279 --> 00:42:26.480 Great is your faithfulness. 00:42:27.460 --> 00:42:28.360 Morning by morning, 00:42:28.980 --> 00:42:30.079 new mercies I see. 00:42:30.900 --> 00:42:31.920 All I have needed, 00:42:32.039 --> 00:42:33.079 your hand has provided. 00:42:33.259 --> 00:42:34.340 Great is your faithfulness, 00:42:34.460 --> 00:42:35.699 Lord, unto me. 00:42:35.699 --> 00:42:35.799 Amen. 00:42:39.539 --> 00:42:40.659 If you're not a Christian, 00:42:41.759 --> 00:42:43.440 isn't this the kind of love 00:42:43.440 --> 00:42:45.860 that we all long for? 00:42:47.240 --> 00:42:48.820 The steadfast love of Christ. 00:42:49.579 --> 00:42:50.179 Turn to him 00:42:50.179 --> 00:42:52.019 and he will be yours 00:42:52.019 --> 00:42:53.480 and you will be his 00:42:53.480 --> 00:42:54.579 now and forever. 00:42:55.720 --> 00:42:56.340 Let's pray. 00:42:56.340 --> 00:42:56.400 Amen. 00:43:13.440 --> 00:43:15.639 Father, we thank you 00:43:15.639 --> 00:43:18.019 for your great 00:43:18.019 --> 00:43:19.659 and unending faithfulness, 00:43:20.559 --> 00:43:22.800 for your steadfast love, 00:43:23.900 --> 00:43:25.400 for your forgiveness, 00:43:28.480 --> 00:43:31.220 for our sin and failure, 00:43:32.440 --> 00:43:35.400 for the resurrection life 00:43:35.400 --> 00:43:38.420 that you have poured out 00:43:38.420 --> 00:43:39.639 upon us 00:43:39.639 --> 00:43:41.000 through the power 00:43:41.000 --> 00:43:41.960 of your Holy Spirit. 00:43:41.960 --> 00:43:45.519 Lord, we pray 00:43:45.519 --> 00:43:46.639 that we would abide in you, 00:43:48.280 --> 00:43:49.000 that your presence 00:43:49.000 --> 00:43:49.920 would dwell in us 00:43:49.920 --> 00:43:51.059 and among us. 00:43:57.599 --> 00:43:58.559 Lord, that we would 00:43:58.559 --> 00:44:00.960 experience your redemption 00:44:00.960 --> 00:44:01.559 and healing 00:44:01.559 --> 00:44:02.900 so that we might display 00:44:02.900 --> 00:44:04.760 your steadfast love 00:44:04.760 --> 00:44:07.480 in our marriage, 00:44:08.340 --> 00:44:08.679 marriages, 00:44:08.880 --> 00:44:09.780 or in our singleness. 00:44:09.780 --> 00:44:16.820 Lord Jesus, 00:44:16.940 --> 00:44:17.560 we thank you 00:44:17.560 --> 00:44:20.640 for your 00:44:20.640 --> 00:44:23.220 sweet presence 00:44:23.220 --> 00:44:26.640 and for your steadfast love. 00:44:27.500 --> 00:44:27.720 Amen. 00:44:29.900 --> 00:44:31.060 Well, please stand 00:44:31.060 --> 00:44:32.240 as the music 00:44:32.239 --> 00:44:37.259 and thank you for your 00:44:37.259 --> 00:44:38.500 thyme for your 00:44:39.199 --> 00:44:39.399 otrasproducts, 00:44:39.399 --> 00:44:40.479 but just 00:44:40.479 --> 00:44:41.719 one punish 00:44:41.719 --> 00:44:41.919 that cose 00:44:41.919 --> 00:44:42.259 were 00:44:42.259 --> 00:44:42.279 that you 00:44:42.279 --> 00:44:43.419 should it be 00:44:43.439 --> 00:44:44.179 just 00:44:44.219 --> 00:44:45.759 to have 00:44:46.479 --> 00:44:46.759 as if 00:44:47.679 --> 00:44:49.199 a 00:44:55.939 --> 00:44:56.339 that you 00:44:56.339 --> 00:44:57.500 have 00:44:57.500 --> 00:44:57.559 so 00:44:57.559 --> 00:44:58.779 have