What kind of decision maker are you?
Do you go with your heart?
Are you a thinker and go with your head?
Or are you controlled by a strong willpower?
The way decisions are made are influenced by all three,
the head, the heart and the will.
For me, it depends on the time of day.
First thing in the morning is when I make the best decisions.
My willpower is always strongest when the sun is going up.
I might have made the decision to eat healthy
and try and be a fit type person.
And so in the morning, it'll be a protein shake.
And I'll make sure I get to the gym.
But by the end of the day, I'll start making poor decisions.
You know, the end of the day, 3 o'clock in the afternoon,
when my heart desires chocolate and sugar,
and so my mind justifies what I want.
It says things like,
you've been good all day.
You've worked hard.
You deserve that pile of donuts.
You agree, right?
I do.
Fine.
Which of these three influences the decisions that you make?
The head, the heart or the will?
Our head, our mind is the logical decision maker.
Its electrical synapses allow thoughts at our senses to coordinate who we are.
Our hearts are our emotion and passion center behind what we do and who we are.
It's the basis of the actions that we choose and our will.
Well, we speak of willpower, the amount of strength to make a decision to,
that is important to who we are at any given moment.
Choices about food and exercise,
these might not seem that important,
but the choices that we make impact our relationships with the people around us.
I can make good choices to care for my marriage,
and for my friends, and for my kids.
I can make choices that are made of sin and hurt me and hurt others.
I can choose impatience and anger over love and gentleness.
And it's the same with our relationship with God.
Our choices impact our relationship with Him.
Are we aware of the things that are influencing our decisions?
Do we know why we choose what we choose?
We are in the middle of our series on the disciplines of grace.
And God, in His love and mercy, has shown us His grace.
He has brought us into His family.
And we pursue holiness in His power.
And over the last couple of weeks,
we've seen that pursuing holiness can only be done
because of God's unearned and undeserved grace.
And last week, with John, we saw that without depending on God's strength,
it's like trying to row a boat with one oar.
We just end up going around in circles.
And today, we come to a bit of a pointy end.
How do we make good choices in life?
How do we actually make worthwhile God-honoring decisions?
Choosing the right things so that we are moving towards God in obedience
instead of moving away from Him?
What would we look like if our choices were disciplined by God's grace?
So as we have a look at what God has to say to us today,
let me pray for us before we jump into Ephesians.
Heavenly Father,
I thank You that You have given us Your Word
and that You offer us salvation and love.
Father, help us to understand who we are as people
and why we make certain choices
so that we can make choices to obey You
because You have loved us, Lord.
Amen.
In the book of Ephesians, from the author Paul,
he tells us what making good choices looks like.
So please have your Bibles open with me at Ephesians 4.
We're going to start in verse 25.
Share with those in need.
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths,
but only what is helpful for building others up
according to their needs,
that it may benefit those who listen.
And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God
with whom you are sealed for the day of redemption.
Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger,
brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.
Be kind and compassionate to one another,
forgiving each other,
just as in Christ God forgave you.
So in the first half of the book of Ephesians,
the first three chapters,
Paul spends his time outlining
all that God has done in His grace
in salvation for us.
And now Paul speaks about how a Christian is to live.
What it looks like to live in the world as a Christian.
And Paul is saying that the Christian life
involves a long series of choices.
You can make this choice or this choice.
You can...
I think there's a slide for it.
Let me see.
Here we go.
You can choose truth or you can lie.
You can deal with your anger
or you can let it smolder and burn.
You can work or you can steal.
You can share or you can spend it on yourself.
You can speak helpful words.
You can speak damaging words.
You can be kind or full of rage.
You can be compassionate or full of malice.
Because God in His love and grace
has chosen to love us
and make us right before Him.
So now we get the choice to obey Him.
That is an every step, every decision,
every moment of the day type thing.
Speech that builds up.
Sexuality that honors God.
Hands that work to God's glory.
And Paul says in the book of Romans
that we choose to obey God.
When we choose to obey God,
it leads to holiness.
When we choose to obey God,
it leads to holiness.
We put on Christ-like behavior,
Christ-like character,
one choice at a time.
One choice at a time
in each and every situation
we are faced with throughout the day.
You all had to make a choice this afternoon.
Am I going to go to church?
Am I going to stay home
and have that pile of donuts
James has suggested already?
We don't become more holy
just by depending upon God.
We don't become more holy
and Christ-like
through praying a prayer of commitment
to commit our lives to God.
We don't even become holy
just by reading God's Word.
Paul in Romans 6 encourages us
that we become holy
by choosing to obey God.
We become like Christ
when we make that choice
to obey Jesus.
By obedience to His Word.
By choosing to obey God's will
that He has outlined in the Scriptures.
Even Jesus Himself,
who was perfect,
had to put on holiness.
He had to choose God's way.
Hebrews 5 tells us
that He had to learn holiness
through obedience.
And you see this
when Jesus is tempted
both by Satan
and in the Garden of Gethsemane.
There is that moment
where there's that moment
before Satan
when Satan's like,
come on,
choose this way.
Turn this stone into bread
or a pile of donuts.
You know,
Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane
faced with that choice,
am I going to obey God
to my death
or am I going to choose my life?
He chooses to obey God.
And He does that fully
by obeying when He dies on the cross.
Paul has given us
this big list of choices to make.
It seems pretty straightforward
when you put it in black and white like that.
Holiness comes from choosing obedience.
Obedience.
But the reality is
obeying God,
making good choices
is hard.
Good choices are hard.
It's not just as simple
as making a decision,
I'm going to obey God
and then it's exactly
what you do forever.
At least that's my experience.
I wonder if that's yours.
There is a very real struggle
that goes on in each of us.
A struggle
to be a good person.
A struggle to
obey God.
A struggle to
not be someone who sins.
Good choices are hard.
Fighting against sin
and obeying God
is a real struggle.
I see it in me.
I see it in my sin.
I see it in my kids.
I see it in all of you.
I've had plenty of conversations
with people here
at previous churches
about people who are just
struggling with their sin,
who hate it.
They want to see their sin dead,
but they struggle
with the desire and pull.
So for us today,
we're going to have a look at
two reasons
why obeying God is hard
and then three reasons,
three ways that God helps us.
Two ways that making good choices
is hard
and three ways that God helps us.
So the first reason
making good choices is hard
is our hearts.
Paul in Romans 7
goes into this internal struggle.
He says,
For I have the desire
to do what is good,
but I cannot carry it out.
For I do not do the good I want,
but the evil I do not want to do.
This I keep on doing.
This is Paul.
He was the best of the best Pharisees
of the time.
He knew the Old Testament
back to front.
He wrote,
and then he was converted
by Jesus when he met Jesus.
And he goes on to plant churches
all across the region of Turkey
and Asia at the time.
And then he ends up writing
half the New Testament,
which we have.
And he's saying
that he struggled
to do good,
but he did evil instead.
Thomas Cranmer,
he was the head,
the archbishop of the church
in England about 500 odd years ago.
And he thought a lot
about this difficulty
to obey God.
And one person summarized
his thoughts
and said,
What the heart loves,
the will chooses,
and the mind justifies.
The first reason
making good choices
is hard
is because of our hearts.
There is this
trifold battle
between heart
and will
and mind
and the heart
is the one
that wins.
What we desire
in our hearts
is always going
to win out.
And our mind
is just going
to justify it.
We say things like,
I know
I shouldn't do this.
I know
I shouldn't eat this food.
I know
I shouldn't speak.
I know I shouldn't.
And then
there's always
a but.
But I want to.
I know
I shouldn't,
but I'm going
to make an exception.
For me,
I know
I should be patient
with my kids,
but
I am so frustrated
with them.
Maybe it's,
I know
I shouldn't say this
to her behind her back.
I should say this
about her behind her back.
But
I get to share
this gossip.
I know
I should declare this
on my tax return,
but what the tax office
doesn't know.
I know
I shouldn't look
at this
inappropriate material
on my phone.
I know
it's not good for me,
but
I want to.
When our
willpower
is weak,
our hearts
desires
are revealed.
We can usually
pretend that
we're pretty good
people,
but sometimes
things come along
and knock down
that
and reveal
who we really
are.
It's been
interesting talking
to people
about this year's
tax returns.
I don't know
if you're a
person who
pays tax,
has a tax
return.
It reminded me
of what happened
years ago
when the government
first started
handing out this
thing called
the baby bonus.
Did anybody
get the baby bonus?
Are any
of you
children
a baby
of the baby
bonus?
That might
be a more
accurate.
John is.
John's a baby
of the baby
bonus.
That's good.
It was a
financial boost
that the
government
gave to
people who
had kids
to pay
for the
associated
costs
of having
a child.
You know,
nappies
and all
those wonderful
things.
But I had
so many
conversations
with people
about what
they were
actually spending
their money
on.
Holidays,
TVs,
things for
them and
not what
it was
actually
intended
to.
A big
chunk of
cash revealed
where their
hearts were
at.
I wonder
what would
you do
if I gave
you a
sizable
chunk of
cash
right now?
Would it
reveal
where your
heart is?
Would it
reveal how
you were
treasuring
Jesus?
There are
times when
our choices
reveal the
state of
our hearts.
If we
were to
just think
that we
as humans
and people
made decisions
in our
minds that
weren't
influenced by
our hidden
desires and
motives in
our heart,
we would
understand how
we work and
how other
people work.
We are far
more complicated
than that.
And what is
going in our
hearts when it
comes to what's
really important
is what
wins.
Even when
our mind
says something
else.
Because what
the heart
wants,
what the
heart
desires,
our will
chooses,
and the
mind is
just going
to justify
it.
So that's
the first
reason that
making good
choices is
hard,
because of
our hearts.
The second
reason making
good choices
is hard is
because we
get decision
fatigue.
Have you
heard of
decision
fatigue?
Have you
felt decision
fatigue?
Paul is
nodding with
me.
I remember
when we were
planning our
wedding,
not Paul and
I,
I'll listen
to my
wedding,
when we were
planning our
wedding,
there were
just so
many decisions
that needed
to be made.
There was
the wedding
cake.
What flavor
was going to
be of the
cake?
How many
layers were
going to be
in the
cake?
What was
going to
be on
the cake?
What kind
of knife
were we
going to
use to
cut the
cake?
Which we
broke when
we were
cutting our
cake?
How many
people are
we going
to invite?
Where are
they going
to sit?
In what
order are
they going
to sit?
There is
the wedding
dress.
Maybe not
that dress,
maybe that
dress,
let's try
another 15
wedding
dresses.
Now,
the bridesmaids
dresses,
I don't
like that,
I don't
like you
in that,
and the
man wears
a suit.
My wife
helpfully
pointed out
to me that
I didn't
have to
make all
those decisions,
it was
mainly her
making those
decisions,
but I was
involved with
enough of
them.
Making
decisions
is
exhausting.
And we
have to
make choices
all day
long.
What am
I going
to wear?
What am
I going
to eat?
How am
I going
to get to
work?
Am I
going to
buy a
coffee
before
work,
or do
I have
a coffee
at work?
What
flavour is
it going
to be?
What am
I going
to do?
Am I
going to
go to
that
tutorial
today,
or will
I just
do it
at home?
Will I
get sushi
or dumplings
for lunch?
And it
leaves our
brains
exhausted,
unable to
make good
decisions.
This is
why people
like Steve
Jobs,
the founder
and head
of Apple
until he
passed
away.
He wore
the same
thing
every day
so he
just didn't
have to
make that
decision.
So he
could use
his brain
for other
things.
And how
do we
go then
when it
comes to
making
choices
to obey
God?
Making
good choices
to obey
God is
influenced by
how fatigued
we get.
As I
mentioned
earlier,
I'm a
morning
person,
so I
make better
choices in
the mornings.
Making
the God
honoring
choice to
be patient
is much
harder when
I'm tired
at the
end of
the day.
Making
the choice
to be
gentle and
loving with
my words
at the
end of
the day
for me
is a
lot
harder.
Recently
I read
a study
about the
impact
decision
making has
on our
willpower.
In a
research study
by the
National
Academy
of Sciences
from the
US,
they examined
the factors
that impacted
judges when
they were
making decisions
whether criminals
should go out
on parole.
They looked
at all the
factors and
the biggest
factor was
not the
type of
crime,
the severity
of the
crime,
how long
they've been
incarcerated.
The biggest
factor that
impacted whether
a criminal
got parole
was the
time of
day.
It was
the time
of day.
So first
thing in
the morning
the percentage
of decisions
made by a
judge was
65%.
So 65%
of their
decisions
of criminals
they went
out on
parole.
As the
day went
on that
plummeted
to zero.
And so
by and
then the
judge would
have a
lunch break,
have some
food,
the brain
would have
some sugar
in it so
it could
function
properly,
and they'd
come back
and their
percentage of
criminals out
on parole
would go
back up to
65.
Very
generous.
It would
drop again
after that.
Our
willpower is
like a
muscle that
gets fatigued.
And so if
you're going
to go and
commit a crime
anytime soon,
you want to
see that
judge early
in the
morning,
not at
11.30
when he's
hangry.
Every time
we make a
decision,
it gets
harder to
make the
next one
a good
one.
We get
home from
work or
from school
and we
want to
make good
decisions.
We want
to love
and honour
our parents
as we
honour God,
but we've
run out of
willpower.
We want
to eat a
healthy meal,
we want to
cook good
food,
but we've
run out of
willpower and
so we order
Uber Eats
instead.
You know,
you want to
go out and
exercise,
you want to
make good
decisions,
but it's
cold and
the TV is
not going to
watch itself.
Why is
this important?
Why is
this important
for us as
Christians?
Well,
we need to
understand who
we are as
people with
bodies.
God has
made us
embodied
creatures.
We are not
just spirits.
We have a
spiritual aspect,
but we also
have bodies
who are
reliant on
food.
We use
energy that
is not
unlimited.
do you
know when
you are
tempted to
sin?
Do you
know what
is going to
have a
negative impact
on you?
Do you
know the
time of
day that
you are
more likely
to struggle?
So when we
are confronted
by sin,
maybe we
need to be
like the
judge and
go and
eat some
food so
that our
brains have
some sugar
and it
functions so
we can make
good choices?
Do you
know what
you are
like as
a person
with a
body
following
God?
This all
seems stacked
against us.
Our hearts
are going to
do whatever
they want
to do.
Making
decisions is
exhausting for
us, but
good choices
are possible.
And there
are three
things,
three ways
to help
us with
making good
choices.
The first,
let's have a
look at that
quote again.
What the
heart loves,
the will
chooses and
the mind
justifies.
We don't
need more
willpower.
Willpower is
not going to
help us.
We don't
need a
more disciplined
mind.
We definitely
don't need more
guilt when we
sin.
What we need
is the first
one.
We need a
new heart.
And this
is what God
promised in
Ezekiel 11,
that he would
give us a
new heart
and a new
spirit.
And this is
what happens
when God
reveals himself
to us.
And we can
see Jesus
for who he
is.
He is God's
son.
No longer
are we
slaves to
sin.
God has
rescued us
and he has
given us a
way to
choose to
obey him.
And as
we grow
in Christ
likeness and
follow him,
he is
changing our
hearts.
He has
taken out
our heart
of stone
and put
in a
heart of
flesh and
he is
changing our
desires so
that we can
be more
Christ-like,
so that we
can make
decisions to
honor him.
He is
changing us
from just
pursuing wealth
and greed
and power
and immorality
to choosing
to love
and be
generous and
gentle,
to love and
honor God.
God offers
a gracious
gift of
a new
heart so
that we
can choose
him, so
we can
obey him.
When I've
gotten really
frustrated at
bad choices,
I'll usually
respond,
James, don't
do that
again, don't
be an
idiot, you're
better than
that, God
loves you,
you need to
be stronger,
you need to
have more
willpower and
that is not
always helpful.
It is far
better to
remember and
pray, God,
change my
heart, change
my desires,
give me new
desires so
that I am not
seeking to
please myself,
but so that I
want to honor
you and love
you.
And so the
first thing that
helps us to
obey God is
that he offers
and gives us
a new heart,
a new heart
with new
desires.
Secondly, God
has made us
creatures of
habit.
You might
even be
sitting in the
same seat
thereabouts that
you usually sit
in, I don't
know, I
wonder if I
could take a
couple of
panographs over
the next couple
of weeks and
check that out
if you like,
but we are
creatures of
habit and
this is one
of the ways
that God
has given
us to get
over decision
fatigue.
If we make
a decision
enough times,
it will become
a habit so we
don't have to
make that
decision.
We'll just
do it without
thinking about
it.
And at the
heart of
habits is the
brilliance of
our Creator
God.
Because making
decisions takes
time and
energy, but
habits keep
us from having
to make that
decision over
and over and
over again.
We are really
good at making
habits because
our brain is
very lazy.
Our brain doesn't
want to use
energy, it wants
to conserve energy.
It wants to
take something
that we do
regularly and
just make it a
habit.
It will turn
almost any
routine into a
habit.
This is why
when I've hurt
my right hand
and have to
brush my teeth
with my left
hand, it just
doesn't know
what to do.
And I have a
certain habit
with my right
So our brain
is really good
at making
habits.
And when we
are trained to
have good
habits, our
brain is then
freed up to
use that energy
to make good
choices to
obey God.
It's not going
to get as
fatigued as
easily.
It's freed up
to use that
energy to
make good
God-honoring
choices.
Imagine if
we put some
hard work and
some energy
into taking
off some bad
habits and
putting on
good ones.
Imagine if we
put on the
habit of getting
up first thing
in the morning
spending time
with God,
hearing from
God's voice
before anybody
else's voice.
Spending time
in prayer.
Imagine if we
put on the
habit of
community group
and gathering
together to
treasure Jesus
and so that's
just an automatic
part of the
week.
Don't even have
to think about
it.
I just go to
church, I go to
community group,
they're just my
habits.
Because it's
dangerous to have
to make these
decisions over and
over again.
Our hearts
easily wander, we
don't want to
obey God and
so if we make
these habits it's
going to protect
us.
I heard about a
Christian recently
who wasn't very
encouraging.
He put in his
calendar to
encourage someone
every three days.
I think if I was
going to do that
it would have to
be every couple
of hours but
that's just me.
But he made a
habit out of it and
so through that
habit he has now
become someone
who habitually
encourages and
builds up other
people with his
words.
That habit helped
him to choose to
become more
Christ-like but it
also took some
effort.
If Jesus truly is
our Lord and
Saviour and our
greatest treasure in
our lives, do our
habits reflect that?
It is worth it to
make the effort and
use our energy to
cultivate a new
habit, maybe even
two new habits, to
pursue God and
being like him, to
make him our
greatest joy.
But I want to give a
brief warning on
habits.
Habits can be very
good but they
don't make us
holy on their own.
Some of us are
incredibly disciplined.
Some of us might be
getting up really
early, memorising
large chunks of the
Bible.
Maybe we get out of
bed and we spend
exactly 16 minutes
reading God's Word and
then four and a half
minutes praying every
day.
And it's easy to think
that being disciplined
and doing that kind of
thing every day brings
us closer to God.
But it's not habits that
bring us closer to God,
it's choosing to obey
him.
And so habits are a
wonderful blessing for
us because they free up
our brains to have the
energy to make good
choices.
So firstly, God gives
us new hearts with new
desires.
And secondly, God has
made us people who can
get over decision
fatigue with good
habits.
And thirdly then, it's
the importance of
training.
In 1 Timothy 4, Paul
tells us that physical
training is of some
value, which is a
little bit of
justification for me
spending some time at
the gym.
But spiritual
training is of
utmost value.
We must train
ourselves to be
godly.
Choosing godliness
takes practice.
We've seen that
decision making is
exhausting like
exercising a muscle,
but what happens when
you exercise a muscle?
Anybody?
What happens when you
exercise a muscle?
Noeline, what was
that?
It builds.
Hopefully, it might
even get bigger and
more defined.
I don't know.
But more importantly,
it becomes more able to
withstand pressure and
weight.
God wants us to train
ourselves to obey him
so that we can
understand more
pressure and more
weight.
God's love for you.
He has saved us
through his son.
He gives us a new
heart with new
desires and we can
now make good
choices.
But this is where the
rubber hits the road.
This is where things get
real.
Because we need to train
ourselves to obey every
single day.
The temptation to sin
comes.
Imagine any of your
sins.
Just take one of them.
That temptation to sin
comes and you're tired.
And you've been praying
to God about this sin
every day for the last
five years.
And you hate this sin.
You want to put it off.
Are you willing to say no
in that moment?
That's what it comes down
to.
Will we put off sin and
put on choosing to
obey God?
Remember that list from
Paul in Ephesians 4.
Every day we are
training ourselves to be
people characterized by
either godliness or
ungodliness by by lies or
by truth by selfishness
or unselfishness by anger
or forgiveness by impurity
or purity pride or
humility.
Every day we are making
us more like one of
these.
We are people.
More used to are we
people more used to
lifting the weight of
truth.
Able to deal with truth
or are we training
ourselves to lie?
Are we training
ourselves to let go of
our pride and to put on
humility or are we
training ourselves to be
angry?
Jess Backich in the
office recently made a
decision that she as part
of a mental health
awareness campaign she
was going to do
something like it's
it's 6,000 push-ups.
It's a ridiculous amount
of push-ups over a month
and she has to do
something like 150
every day.
She's going to have the
biggest shoulders here
even bigger than Darcy
by the end of the
month.
The reality is though
she it's it's really
easy to make that
decision at the start
of the month.
But every day she's
faced with a choice.
Is she going to get
down and do those
push-ups?
Now you may have
chosen to follow the
Lord and every day we
are faced with a choice.
How am I going to obey
him today?
Don't excuse sin in your
life.
Don't be too happy to
say oh that's sin.
That's just part of who
I am.
I'm a bit impatient.
Particularly in the
morning when I haven't
had my coffee.
I'm a bit fiery.
I've just I've just got a
hot temper.
However bad habits
come from a series of
bad choices.
We are all tempted to
sin in many ways.
And God enables us to
make a choice to obey.
He offers salvation to
all people to give a
new heart so that we
are not stuck making
bad choices but he
offers a new heart with
new desires.
Have you taken God up
on this offer?
Are you frustrated with
where your life is and
where your life is going?
Maybe you fall into bad
habits and can't seem to
make good ones.
God offers a new heart
that is filled with new
desires to love.
Ask him to have godly
desires today.
Brothers and sisters do
you understand who you
are as people?
Do you know what and
when it is hard for you
to obey?
What do you need to
change so that you
can obey God?
It is possible to
make good choices and
it is possible to
obey God.
Because God has given
us a new heart.
He gives us habits to
draw us closer to him
to help us choose to
obey.
But will we choose to?
Will you train yourself
in the love of God
to choose his will
as long as it is today?
Thank you.
Thank you, Jane.