You are listening to a message from Southwood Presbyterian Church in Huntsville, Alabama.
Our passion is to experience and express grace.
Join us.
It's the heart of what we're going to be talking about together this morning.
We're in Ephesians chapter 4.
Ephesians 4, we've hit the midway point of the book of Ephesians.
And this morning we're actually at a hinge point in Ephesians.
And thus far, as we've gone through, we'll do a little bit of review.
What's happened in the first three chapters is that Paul has given us this rich theology
where he's extolling the grandeur of God's love and grace.
He's explaining the life-transforming reality that through Jesus,
those of us least deserving of being in God's presence are connected to God by faith.
Those of us labeled enemy are now seated at the king's table with name tags that say connected to Jesus.
Paul has explained how all the power, all the work, all the glory for this are all God's.
Because we're saved by grace alone, he says.
And so he's talked about how being connected to God connects us also to each other.
Jews and Gentiles in the same family, one temple being built up.
Because what's most important about them, remember, is not their personal religious pedigree.
It's the fact that they're connected to Jesus.
That's what's most important.
So some of the richest theological teaching in all of the Scripture on the grace of God,
on the process of salvation, on the nature of the church.
And then we hit chapter 4.
Listen to what Paul's going to do as he makes all that great theology, practical theology.
Ephesians 4 at verse 1.
Hear God's holy word.
I, therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called,
with all humility and gentleness, with patience bearing with one another in love,
eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.
There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call,
one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all,
who is over all and through all and in all.
The grass withers, the flowers fade, but these words of our God will indeed stand forever.
Pray with me.
Father, as these are your words,
and as what we need is to hear from you rather than from a man,
we ask that you would speak.
Would you speak to our hearts clearly?
Would you take eyes that are easily blind and allow them to see?
Would you take hearts that wander after other things and give us a heart for you?
Renew our affections after Jesus.
Would you do that by your Spirit?
We ask in Jesus' name.
Amen.
I still remember holding my first child in the hospital.
I remember being overwhelmed with joy,
thinking things like,
how in the world could I love a little baby like this so much?
And also thinking,
I think this changes everything.
I had no idea.
Listen, I love my girls.
And what I'm about to say does not change that.
It's bad when you start this way, isn't it?
And something bad is coming.
This doesn't take away from that at all.
But they've changed everything about my life.
That's what happens, right?
We love them so much and, not but,
and it's often hard to remember life without them.
Christy and I have had this happen several times on a vacation or a date
where it's just the two of us.
And we try to think back only seven years for us.
And what did we do in the evenings back then?
How did we make decisions?
Like, what did we talk about when that happened?
And what happened was that everything changed.
The reality of becoming a parent changes not just your tax filing,
but everything, right?
Sleep schedules are altered.
Your daily plan is changed.
You suddenly follow school rezoning decisions very closely.
Where are we going to be?
Where will the kids be?
Eating out for dinner is so much more complicated.
It was already hard enough to decide where you wanted to go,
but now you're also asking,
where are the kids going to be able to make it through the meal
without being too disruptive so we can get in and get out?
And what will they like to eat?
You have to live all of life as a parent, right?
Many of you have also experienced the life-altering reality of parenthood.
Some of you have felt or seen the impact of a lifestyle-altering diagnosis.
The reality, for example, of having an allergy.
That means not just a line on my medical form,
but it means every grocery store and restaurant I go to,
I need ingredient lists and details about what I can and can't eat.
It means now nothing with peanut butter near me or no milk products.
I don't know how some of you manage it, honestly,
if I couldn't eat peanut butter.
But you have to start thinking about everything you do in light of that.
Every moment you live as someone with the allergy
or whatever it is that you're dealing with.
Some of you have felt life being altered
when you put on glasses for the first time
and all of a sudden you saw everything differently.
You didn't realize you could actually see the person over there
or the sign on the road was something you could read.
And all of a sudden, there it is.
Everything looks different.
Or you're coming out of school and you got a job for the first time
and you thought it was just going to be a job,
but now your schedule is completely altered.
Your relationships are different.
Your flexibility seems to be gone overnight.
All of life has changed.
We all know what it means to have one particular reality
that alters the rest of life.
To live the rest of life in light of one reality.
That's what Paul is going to say in the second half of Ephesians.
All this glorious theology,
all these wonderful truths that I've been talking about
actually alters all of life.
It's doctrine with a purpose.
Look at verse 1.
What does he say?
I, therefore, a prisoner of the Lord,
urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling
to which you've been called.
Therefore.
Therefore, he says a great word, therefore.
Walk in a way, because of all of the things that you've heard,
walk in a way that fits with that.
Live a life that fits with the reality of who you are
and what God has done for you.
In light of all the wonderful good news that I've told you about,
here's what your life should look like.
That word translated worthy is not do enough,
be good enough, try hard enough,
but it's telling us to live in a way that's fitting,
that's appropriate, that's commensurate with the reality of who we are,
with the calling we've received.
What fits with this?
Live in a way that fits with what God has done,
the salvation that you have been given by His grace.
Interestingly, in the first three chapters of Ephesians,
you know how many commands Paul gives to the church?
Three full chapters, 50-some verses, one command.
In chapter 2, he tells them to remember some things.
Remember.
That's the only command they get for three chapters.
The commands are going to start coming fast and furious now.
As you think through the next three chapters of Ephesians,
Paul's going to say things like,
Submit.
Obey.
Love.
Put on.
Stand firm.
Be kind.
Forgive.
Do not get drunk.
Keep alert.
Speak truth.
And many, many more we're going to hit in the next few weeks.
He's about to tell us what life should look like
in light of our new reality.
And this is not unusual for Paul, if you know his letters, right?
This is how Paul often operates.
The truth he teaches always has practical implications.
And likewise, he always roots his moral commands back in rich theology.
In each letter, he tells both what is true,
he does that first,
and what to do next in light of that.
Romans, for example, has 11 chapters of intense theology,
wonderful doctrines.
And chapter 12, verse 1 says,
Therefore, in view of God's mercy,
offer your bodies as living sacrifices.
And there he goes telling us what it looks like.
Galatians has four chapters on the doctrines of grace.
And chapter 5, verse 1 says,
Therefore, stand firm.
This is not just Paul.
This is the biblical pattern, right?
That we've seen over and over.
God's grace comes first.
Always.
God's grace first.
And you never leave it.
You never outgrow it.
You never pass beyond it.
It's not moving away from the doctrine,
away from God's grace onto something else.
God's grace motivates and empowers our behavior.
That's biblical Christianity,
because Jesus changes everything.
The nature of his grace is that it meets us where we are,
but it also doesn't leave us where we are, right?
It meets us there.
We don't have to clean ourselves up, look better.
God's grace comes to us,
but it's a transformative grace.
One that doesn't leave us where we are,
but makes us new and changes all of life.
So it's vital that we keep our doctrine and our duty,
our preaching and our practice connected to each other.
Some of us love learning, right?
We love the new book, another class to take.
I'm excited.
I can't wait to do that.
But it never makes much difference in how we live.
We can deliver a great lecture on love,
but we don't show it much.
And that's no good.
Others of us haven't read a book since we were in school,
and we only read the ones that were required then.
But we scorn doctrine.
We say it only matters how we live.
Just be moral.
Just love people.
Isn't that really what matters?
But the Bible says no.
Be good for goodness sake falls short of biblical Christianity,
because it skips the heart and the relationship with God that God so desires.
We've got to keep those two connected to each other.
So that's what you're going to continue to hear
as we go through the rest of Ephesians together.
Paul is not leaving doctrine behind in order to get practical.
Paul is explaining what a life lived in light of the truths
that he's been teaching us looks like.
It's one of the reasons you hear us talk a lot at Southwood
about experiencing and expressing grace.
That's our mission, right?
Both experience God's grace and express it.
That both of those are necessary together.
We have to hear and receive and feast on God's grace for ourselves,
and we have to share it with others.
Either one without the other is anemic Christianity
or no Christianity at all.
That's why, for example, Sunday school and serving the poor
are both important.
They don't work against each other.
They work together.
So here's where Paul's headed.
He's going to walk into your workplace.
He wants to sit at your dinner table.
He wants to talk about your relationships with the world around you.
He wants to hone in on your speech,
on your marriage,
on our church life.
And one at a time,
he's going to work his way through some of those things
because Jesus changes everything,
all of them.
And when we say that in 21st century America,
we get a little bit uncomfortable, don't we?
We've individualized and privatized our religion so much at every chance we get.
So that what we think is normal is this,
that religious people say,
Jesus changes Sunday morning.
The super spiritual,
the really the most religious friends I have
would say,
Jesus changes Sunday
and one hour of every other day of the week.
But the Bible says,
Jesus changes everything,
every moment of every day.
He's not a side dish to fill out your life.
The truth of Jesus is life altering.
Everything changes now
because he's redeeming and renewing all of it,
all of life.
All of it is his.
Just like becoming a parent,
having an allergy,
getting a job,
everything changes now.
And I'll be honest with you and myself,
there are a lot of days I'm really not sure I'm up for that.
I'm really not that interested.
In fact,
I don't have the bandwidth for it.
I feel like I just,
I don't have the time or the energy
to stop and think about how Jesus shows up here.
I just,
there's some things that need to get done.
I know some things that are really important to me
and I just don't really care
to stop and to put in the effort to think,
what does Jesus have to say about my marriage
or my money
or my job?
Anybody else ever felt that way?
Am I the only one that sometimes feels like,
man,
there's just so much
and I already know most of what I need.
I don't really need to know what Jesus says about this.
Can I just do some things?
But Jesus won't share his glory
with my idols.
Jesus won't allow me
to talk like a Christian on Sunday
and ignore him on Monday
and avoid what he loves.
Jesus loves me too much
to let me shipwreck myself
by leaving him out of my life.
He doesn't want me to miss
what he created and redeemed me for.
He wants to see me flourish
and honor him in all of life
for his glory
because it's also what's best for me.
That's why he says,
I urge you to walk in a manner
worthy of the calling
to which you've been called.
I know what's best for you.
I'm calling you to something.
Walk in a way that fits
with the great gifts I've given you,
with the great things
that I've done for you.
So buckle up.
Ephesians part two.
Practical theology.
Subtitle.
Paul the theologian
becomes Paul the meddler.
Today, in the rest of our passage,
he begins with one area
that's already been a big theme
in Ephesians.
It's unity.
He wants to start
by talking about unity.
He's going to begin right here
in the church
and he's going to say,
Jesus has already
united you to each other.
Now live out the unity
that already exists.
That's what he's going to tell us
in the rest of this passage.
Look at verses four to six.
He's reminding us of what's true.
There's one body,
one spirit.
You were called to the one hope
that belongs to it.
One Lord,
one faith,
one baptism,
one God and Father of all
who is over all
and through all and in all.
That's not what he hopes
will happen one day.
That's already true, right?
He's reminding us of that.
Seven times there's that one.
What you share in common,
what you all have
because there's one of it
is more important
than your differences.
You're in one family
because having Jesus
for your brother
means you have the same father
and are indwelt
by the same spirit.
It's what Jesus does
when we're connected to him.
He makes us family.
Remember how Paul told us
he did that back in chapter two?
Jesus,
Jesus himself is our peace.
He is the one
who's made us both one,
took the two
and made them one.
He did it
by breaking down in his flesh
the dividing wall of hostility.
He was creating in himself
one new man
in place of the two,
so making peace
and reconciling both of us
to God in one body
through the cross
where he killed
the hostility.
He preached peace
to those far off
and those who were near
and through him
we both
have access
in one spirit
to the Father.
Jews and Gentiles,
those who've known Jesus
a long time
and those who met him yesterday
are one.
They have one father.
They're in the same family,
especially through the cross.
That's what Jesus did for us,
right?
He made this true.
So the call for the church
here in our passage
is not to fabricate
togetherness out of nothing,
to try to act like
there's something
we have in common,
but rather to reflect
what's already true.
We're in the same family,
like it or not.
You may get to choose
your friends,
but family is family,
right?
We're already connected,
but do we act like it?
Does the way we live
reflect the biblical reality?
That's the question for us.
Paul says,
I'll tell you what it looks like
when you practically live out
that Jesus has connected you
to each other
in the same family.
You're eager to maintain
the unity of the Spirit
in the bond of peace.
You long for that.
You work for that.
You're eager.
Eager to maintain.
Notice,
not create it,
but maintain
what already is true,
the unity of the Spirit.
That sounds a lot like
our last membership vow,
doesn't it?
We're promising
to study the purity
and the peace
of the church,
to work proactively
and intently
toward her unity.
We're eager,
not just don't sow discord,
although that's
certainly important,
but positively,
we're supposed to be
working towards peace,
longing to see it come.
in our relationships.
How?
What's that going to look like?
With all humility
and gentleness.
Verse 2.
With all humility
and gentleness.
That only makes sense
when your salvation
is all of grace.
Be humble.
Think less of yourself
because you make much
of Jesus.
When the focus of your heart
is on what He had to do
to rescue someone like you
from yourself,
you begin to be humbled.
You do begin to think
of yourself less
and can therefore be gentle
rather than harsh
with others.
Think about the connection there.
Who is it that you speak
harshly about?
Be honest with yourself.
When you're by yourself,
when they're not around
and you let your hair down
and you say what you really feel,
who gets the harsh criticism?
Think of that person.
Think of the words you say.
Isn't it because,
at least in the area
that you're criticizing them,
you feel superior?
More worthy, perhaps.
You wouldn't say it,
but honestly,
more holy.
Can you believe
what she said
about her kids,
about her friends,
about her church?
Can you believe
what they decided
about Sunday school,
about schooling their kids,
about VBS?
Can you believe?
Can you believe
implies you can't believe it
because you're better
than they are.
You would never do,
think,
say such a thing.
What brother or sister
are you treating harshly
because you've forgotten
you're no better
than he is?
Paul reminds us
that in this regard,
walking in a manner
worthy of the calling
we've received
involves deep humility,
knowing who we really are.
You're not the one
who figured it out first,
right?
You were dead
and he made you alive.
That's how the call worked.
That calling we received
came that way
to a dead person
that God made alive.
The good works you've done
were planned ahead of time
by him
for you to walk in them.
All the glory goes to him,
so don't think you're better
than your brother or sister.
Jesus thought
they were valuable enough
to die for.
Have you decided
they're worth less
than you?
So making every effort
to live out our unity
looks like humility
and gentleness.
And then Paul says
it looks like patience
and love,
the end of verse 2.
The idea behind the word
for patience here
has a long-term perspective
that one would be
long-suffering.
I love how Pastor
Sinclair Ferguson
says it.
He says,
this is taking
a long-term view,
especially when things
go wrong.
That's really what
it has in mind.
It assumes disappointment,
offense,
conflict,
but it urges us
to bear with one another,
to stay in relationship
rather than bail,
to suffer hurt
but respond with blessing
time and again.
And that requires
a long-term perspective,
doesn't it?
It doesn't make sense
in the moment.
It requires
a long-term perspective
because when I'm acting
ugly to you,
you have to believe
that Jesus is
making me beautiful
or else you're done
with me.
In the moment,
I'm ugly
and you see it
and you know it.
You have to believe
Jesus is making me
beautiful
because when I hurt you,
you have to actually
believe that
Jesus is going
to heal all that hurt
rather than it feeling
better to hurt back
in the moment.
A longer-term perspective.
Because when I continue
to be that kind of person
you can't stand,
you have to believe
that I'm more family
that you're stuck with forever
than a friend you can drop
at no cost to yourself.
Have you ever had
that conversation
with your kids?
If you've got more
than one kid,
you may have had
this conversation.
I, of course,
haven't,
but you've said to them
something like,
hey, y'all are sisters.
Don't treat your sister
that way.
You shouldn't speak
that way to anybody,
but especially not
your sister.
She'll be your sister
forever.
I mean,
you may move
and your friends
may move
or you may develop
a new group of friends,
but she'll always
be your sister.
Right?
That relationship
is valuable.
It's lasting.
That's the long-term
kind of view
in all of our relationships
with each other
that being patient
and bearing with one another
in love calls for.
In Christ,
these really are
your brothers and sisters.
You really will be with them
long-term.
And when I say that already,
all the objections
in your head are starting.
Oh, yeah,
that's sweet and nice,
but biological family
is different
from spiritual family.
Don't make it seem.
I know those objections
because I've heard them
and because I've thought them.
But I say to you,
the biblical,
spiritual reality
is more true
and longer lasting
than the other.
You have one Savior.
And so you have one Father.
And it really does matter
that they're your brothers
and sisters forever.
And that's really hard
for us to think about
in a Bible Belt culture
where there's churches everywhere
and our culture says
church is something
you approach
as a consumer commodity.
You go look down
the menu of churches
in your town
and find the one
that is most,
where the people there
are most like you
and it best serves
your needs.
That's what church is,
our culture says.
Very rarely do you hear
people talking about
wanting church
to be a place
where you find
hard people to love.
When you hear that,
it's not a compliment.
Usually it's a complaint,
right?
That's what it means
when we say it now.
Oh, man,
I don't fit with them.
They're hard.
They're difficult.
Who are you unwilling
to admit to yourself
as family forever?
Here's what we do.
Instead of being eager
to maintain
the unity of the Spirit,
we harbor bitterness
rather than forgive,
don't we?
God says,
same family.
Don't live at odds
with someone
I've connected you to.
Bear with them
when they fail.
Be humble
because you'll fail next.
Instead of being eager
to maintain
the unity of the Spirit,
we care only
about our own church.
Listen,
this passage
isn't anti-denominations.
That's not what it's saying.
It doesn't say
we'll all think
and act the same
about every issue.
But it does say
same family
to other Presbyterians,
to Baptists,
to Methodists,
to non-denominationalists,
to Pentecostals.
Do you remember
what's most important
Paul says?
Are you able
to major on the majors
so that you can love
and work
and cheer for others
who go to another church?
And then perhaps
the epidemic problem
in my generation
in America.
Instead of being eager
to maintain
the unity
of the Spirit,
we're not living
at odds
with other Christians.
Why?
Because we're not living
with other Christians
at all.
Because that's become
the new thing, right?
I'm not leaving Jesus.
The institutional church,
on the other hand,
is quite another matter.
We disconnect
in a split second
rather than doing
the hard work
to stay engaged.
And that can happen
at any age,
but those of us
who are younger
are really,
really good at it.
We usually think
we know better.
And those of us
in the church
need to begin
by admitting
that they have
some really valid concerns.
They often offer
really true critiques,
don't they?
They look at the church
and they love Jesus
and many churches
are full of people
who've lost
their passion for Jesus
if they ever had it.
Who've lost
the priority
of gospel ministry
and seem content
just to make themselves
comfortable and peaceful.
So I see why
the Jesus-loving
individualist wants out.
Why would I sit
in there with them?
And to be honest,
God doesn't want
the church to stay
stuck there either.
He calls us to repent
and regain the love
we had at first,
right?
But,
unity does demand
that we not give up
on the church
even at her worst.
Why?
Because God hasn't.
God says to those
in the church,
same family,
even the ones
that don't seem
to get it,
and the church
may be ugly at times,
but she's Jesus' bride.
When we disengage
because of our
perhaps accurate critiques
of the church,
we too miss
the biblical vision
of humble and gentle,
patient and loving
community
of what it really means
to be family.
But you might be thinking,
I'd never choose
to be in a small group
with them.
They're so awkward.
And how could I ever
trust her again
after the way
she betrayed me?
Theologian D.A. Carson
says this about the church.
He says,
ideally,
notice that word,
ideally.
This is the way
it should be.
The church is made up
of natural enemies.
What binds us together
is not common education,
race,
income levels,
politics,
nationalities,
accents,
jobs.
Christians come together
because they've all
been loved by Jesus himself.
They're a band
of natural enemies
who love one another
for Jesus' sake.
Ideally,
that's what the church is.
That's the way
it's supposed to be.
That's why Jesus
called Jews and Gentiles
together into his church,
right?
That wasn't an accident.
He wasn't forced to.
Why did he make it that way?
Why did he bring together
a band of natural enemies?
Because how else
could they display
the love of God?
How else could they
show the world
the love of a God
who sacrificed himself
for his natural enemies?
He wanted to be
in relationship
with them enough
that he sent his son
to the cross
for people he should,
by all regards,
have had nothing
to do with.
And so he sets us up
in the church
and designs the church
to be a place
where we find people
we'd otherwise have
nothing to do with.
And he says,
be eager to be connected
to them.
Work hard on it.
Be patient.
Bear up with one another
when you rub against each other
the wrong way.
The church is the place
where we have the chance
to be patient
as God has been patient
with us.
To love and bear
with one another
in love
as he has stuck with us
and continued to love us.
It shouldn't surprise us
when that is needed
to stay connected
to each other
in the church.
That's not shocking.
That's the way
he designed it.
It's hard.
It's needed
that we bear
with each other.
It's needed
that we suffer long,
that we're humble
and gentle.
And it's not easy.
But it's worth it.
Unity may not sound
real exciting to you.
I just want to go hear
about unity today.
That'd be good.
That applies to my life.
Unity.
You'd probably rather hear
something on marriage
or the armor of God
and we're getting there.
Those are coming.
But while it may not
seem real important to us,
it was at the top
of Jesus' list
for his followers,
wasn't it?
When Jesus prayed,
what did he want
for those who would
believe in him?
He came before the Father
pouring out his heart
in the garden
in John 17.
Do you remember it?
He prays for them
that they may all be one.
It gets close to using one
as many times
as Ephesians 4,
but not quite.
Just as you, Father,
are in me
and I in you,
that they also may be in us.
Why?
Why does he want us
to be one?
So that the world
may believe
that you have sent me.
The glory you've given me,
I've given to them.
That they may be one
even as we are one.
I in them
and you in me,
that they may become
perfectly one.
Why?
So that the world
may know
that you sent me
and that you loved them
even as you loved me.
Oneness,
unity,
so that the world
will believe
Jesus is God
and that he loves them.
Don't you want them
to know that?
Don't you want the people
you care about
to know Jesus is God
and he loves them?
The one thing
we're called to
so that people
will see and believe
that a holy God
loves sinful,
hostile people,
that that would be
the truest story of all
is loving each other
like that.
Church,
Jesus has connected you
to each other.
He's picked
your family.
Now live out
the unity
that already exists.
By this,
all men will know
that you're my disciples.
If you formally
stay together
in one denomination,
no.
If your church
never splits,
no.
If you always look,
sing, pray,
and minister
exactly the same way,
no.
If in all the diversity,
all the mess,
and all the brokenness,
you still love
one another.
Father,
forgive us.
We don't long
for that
as much as we long
for getting
what we want,
for having things
our way.