I am going to be finishing up James chapter 1, verse 19, all the way through.
But by way of introduction, probably most of you guys are already familiar with this.
It's a very famous passage talking about listening.
But before I get into it, I just wanted to give a little bit of my background on this passage.
This has been a topic, listening, that's been extremely pertinent in our marriage.
But also, just by way of me being stubborn and bullheaded, I actually went to school for counseling and life coaching.
And an enormous amount of the time that I spent was in practicing and learning to be a good listener.
For which, the day I got married, I completely discarded.
And we had really knocked down drag-out fights for the first few years.
And it was actually the Lord's grace.
A couple of our really good friends were sharing with us some of the things that they have learned when they were doing marriage counseling that were really helpful for them.
And one of them was a little listening exercise where one person has the responsibility of listening while the other person speaks.
And then it switches.
And you take turns listening.
You take turns prioritizing listening.
You essentially take turns prioritizing what the scripture is about to tell us.
Now, the ironic thing was, I actually already knew all of this stuff.
And I'd already practiced all of this stuff, especially with my friends.
But in the context of marriage, I had very little desire or patience to implement what I had already learned.
But by that point, we both started practicing and practicing listening to one another.
And we were able to resolve our fights.
And in general, we've gotten better over the years at resolving fights to the point that many people, when they do come to us for counsel in marriage,
the main thing we spend time doing is trying to help them learn to prioritize listening rather than winning their arguments.
Okay, I say all that to say, this week, I'm preaching on this topic.
On Thursday, we got in a huge knockdown drag out fight.
And it fundamentally was because I was refusing to listen.
I was fundamentally defending myself.
I was fundamentally refusing to listen, even to the point that I knew I wasn't listening and aware that I was preaching on this on Sunday.
And she brought it up and I still didn't.
All that to say, I am not the all the time exemplar of these things.
A lot of these things are easier to say than they are to do.
And a lot of the reason that it makes it difficult to listen well is because the sacrifice that takes place in real time
in order to maintain a disposition that prioritizes listening to the other party rather than defending yourself.
Full disclosure.
Sometimes I do a decent job at this.
Sometimes I do a decent job.
I do a decent job at this.
Anyway, I'm going to go ahead and read this first part and then we're going to keep on going.
Starting in verse 19.
Am I loud enough back there?
Louder?
Wow.
Man, I hope I can speak loud enough, you guys.
All right.
Just yell.
I think I just got to yell.
Go for it.
It's right here.
Wow.
Okay.
Verse 19.
Know this, my beloved brothers.
I love that he starts this by speaking of them as beloved.
It's an inclusion.
He's including them in relationship.
He's speaking to people who are in relationship to him.
My beloved.
Know this, my beloved brothers.
Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger.
Just by way of priority, we're going to keep on going.
But by way of priority, he's saying, when you're in conversation, the most important thing, listen.
The lesser important things, getting your point across and defending yourself.
Which I'm saying, defending yourself as being equivalent, being slow to anger.
Why do we get angry?
Because we're trying to defend ourselves.
Okay?
So if we can decrease in importance, speaking, getting our own point across, defending, being quick to anger, and exalting, listening to the other party, there's something of a promise in this sequence.
I'll keep on going.
Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger.
For the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.
What's he saying there?
When we are defensive and quick to anger, we are not being a catalyst of sanctification in the lives of other people.
We are being a hindrance to sanctification in the lives of other people.
Okay?
The scripture doesn't tell us not to be angry.
It says, be angry and sin not.
Or be slow to anger.
There is a time to defend.
Jesus was very angry when he cleared out the money changers in the temple.
They were desecrating the house of the Lord and required intervention.
There is a time to be anger.
To have anger.
According to this, though, we need to remember that when we extend anger to people,
maybe it's appropriate.
We are not sanctifying them.
Anger does not build up and sanctify a person.
It opposes them.
It crushes them.
I think it's similar to the law.
The law certainly points out our defects, but it does not help us in our sanctification at all.
When we extend anger, when we are quick to anger with people, we in no way are building them up.
I think we should remember this even for our own children.
You can facilitate compliance in other people that is not improving their character at all.
They're just scared of you.
They're just appeasing you while you're around.
There is nothing being sanctified here.
Anger does not produce the righteousness of God.
So I want you guys to hear here.
Anger does not produce the righteousness of God.
But I want to keep on going because there is something that produces fruit.
Next verse, verse 21.
Most people, I think there's a tendency with James to chop up his quotable quote verses too much
and not realize that they're all in continuity.
They're actually referring to each other.
This one especially, everyone knows, be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to become angry.
But we tend to chop off the two verses that come right after it that provide more meaning in my opinion.
Verse 20.
For the anger of man does not produce righteousness of God.
Verse 21.
So again, he's talking about receiving again.
We're back to listening.
How should you listen?
By receiving with meekness the implanted word which is able to save your souls.
So now we are talking about sanctification.
We are talking about being saved from things.
There is a way both before the Lord and before other people that we can have a spirit of meekness and soft-heartedness
that if they happen to be telling us something that we actually need to change and repent in,
we are soft ground that that might produce fruit.
And if we might be in a position to extend something to them that they need to hear,
we have a disposition of listening and meekness that they would receive it better from us.
Make sense?
One of the big errors I think that we make in listening, let's say,
is believing that we are the rescuer,
believing that we are right,
and believing we already know.
These are all the opposite of meekness.
When we are approaching someone so as to listen to them,
I think it's of the utmost importance that we're viewing the Lord as His grace is eminent,
and that when we listen well to others,
we can extend something to them of gracious fellowship that sets them up to be able to hear from the Lord
and be extremely fruitful.
It is my experience.
There's many, many times when a person is having a very difficult time,
and you really take the time to listen to them,
listen to them well,
anticipating giving a bunch of counsel,
anticipating having to persuade them.
But when you give it some time,
you can see many people start untangling the knot that is themself
because they're in an environment where the Lord's grace is evident,
and they have the Holy Spirit,
and they can hear from the Lord themselves.
I would submit to you,
the most powerful outcome by way of conversation
is when a person just hears from the Lord.
Be that by you,
or be that by their own reflection,
or be that by the many different ways.
You know what I'm saying?
And I think that there is a meekness in conversation
that is anticipating the Lord revealing something
and us just being receptive,
and doesn't assume you're already right.
I think oftentimes we already assume we know and we're right.
So, I just want to give a couple of suggestions,
or by way of practice.
I think that one really good principle
as we're trying to grow in listening
is to,
especially in conflict.
I think actually this is what I would suggest.
When you are anticipating conflict or disagreement,
first and foremost,
planning on entering in with truly listening.
I really want to completely hear out the other side.
Number one.
Number two,
trying to limit your speaking.
This is the most important thing.
Try to limit your speaking
to questions,
and if you need,
reiterating what the other person said.
What do I mean by that?
When we prioritize listening
and ask good questions,
it helps a person divulge more.
It helps a person come more into the light.
And,
sometimes when we're exposed,
we can be naturally defensive
because of shame,
that when someone takes the time to reiterate,
it helps them lose their defensiveness.
Okay?
I believe
listening to a person
is something like
therapeutic anesthesia
for counsel.
What do I mean by that?
If you're
needing to replace
someone's heart,
we could anesthetize them
so that their body's totally limp
and we can be extremely surgical
and accurate,
careful,
or we could just go ahead
and like give it a run
while they're fully awake.
Old school.
There is a way
of rearranging these priorities
where we approach
confrontation like that
thinking that it won't go any worse.
But it is my experience
that when you listen to people well
and they feel listened to,
you gain a level of trust
that when you go to speak,
they don't fight you on every point
because they feel like
they don't need to defend themselves.
You're essentially removing
the veil of self-defensiveness.
This is a,
the more important a disagreement is,
the more important this is.
Which is why
I would really recommend
if you feel like
you need to grow on this,
think of confrontations
or difficult conversations,
approach them
with the high priority of listening,
and then try to entirely limit yourself
for a certain duration,
maybe even just pick 10 minutes
to only asking questions
and reiterating their points.
Not even putting forth
your own perspective
or defending your own position
for a certain duration.
I think there are many people
that haven't even had the hope
of how well disagreements can go
because they've never seen them go well
in these criteria.
You can disagree
and get on the same page with people
in such remarkable ways.
And I think there's two things
that we do advocate
whenever we don't do this well.
The other person could be right
and we might need to be learning from them.
And if we have this meekness,
it'll produce much fruit.
But also,
the other person might be wrong
and they might need to really hear from us.
And we've set them up
for having experience of our input
not being something
that's like the surgeon
that just goes ahead
and tries to do it without anesthesia.
You know what I'm saying?
This is of the utmost importance.
However important the truth
that is under this umbrella
of conversation is,
our listening should,
we should feel like the listening
has that same level of priority.
Because really,
when you come in
believing that you're right
and advocating for your own position
and defending your own position,
you automatically put the person
in a position of being back on their heels
and defending themselves.
Which is a horrible, horrible environment.
Not only for the Lord to speak,
but for us.
It's, what is it?
It doesn't produce
the righteousness of God.
It's not building up the body.
It's leading to division.
And I think that's really
the difference in disposition here.
One path creates fellowship
and creates unity.
And another path creates
tearing down
and even divisiveness.
Because we can't listen.
I believe that fundamentally
listening in the way
the Lord calls us to
creates an environment
where people are able
to graciously see
how they really are
and be eligible
for the Lord's input
in a very powerful way.
This is the environment
of speaking the truth in love.
The environment
that marries grace and truth.
It says that
Moses brought the law,
but Jesus Christ came
in grace and truth.
There is an environment
where we
are being meek
before the Lord
and actually creating
a fellowship
and connection
to the Lord's intervention
that makes
the Lord's
grace
be catalyzed
by our being
more like Him
to another person.
If that makes sense.
Incredibly important.
Okay.
I'm going to hop on down
to verse 21.
Therefore,
put away all filthiness,
rampant wickedness,
and receive with meekness
the implanted word
which is able
to save your souls.
I believe this is a reference
both to the previous paragraph
that was talking about
desire,
giving birth to sin,
and sin,
giving birth to death.
That there's an extent
to which things creep up
in our hearts
and that we need
to pull those weeds.
But I also think
that this is referring
to
us
needing to repent
of the things
that get in the way
of us having this
meekness and good listening.
Having a disposition
of meekness
and listening well
to other people
that actually
can be very fruitful
and I think
even his reference here,
able to save your souls,
there's an extent
to which sanctification
is a constant saving
of a person
from specific things.
If you think about it,
even in our conversations
and disagreements,
most of them
do pertain
to things that are
an issue
that need to be addressed.
There's weeds in real life
that need to be pulled.
You know what I mean?
And we are being sanctified
by being continually saved
from the many things
that beset us.
And I believe
that this verse here
is giving us
these two different paths
where we defend ourselves
and actually tear people down
and it doesn't produce
righteousness of the Lord
or receive with meekness
and it produces much fruit
and it can even save.
What a beautiful thing.
That's actually another
synonym for sanctification
is being saved.
Okay?
Okay, I'm going to keep on going.
Now we're going to switch
to a little bit
of a different topic
but there's actually
enormous overlap
between these two concepts.
Verse 22.
But be doers of the word
and not hearers only.
Deceiving yourselves.
So he's talking about
hearing and listening
and now he's moving to
what you learn
and know
let it be reflected
in your life.
Okay?
But be doers of the word
and not hearers only.
Deceiving yourself.
So,
when we know something,
when we have learned something
but don't live it out,
James is calling us deceived.
But we are deceived.
We are deceived.
Okay?
Many of the points
that James makes
over this entire book
have to do with
what proceeds from us
and have to do with
us having half of the equation
and not the other half
and therefore having nothing.
So in this regard,
he's saying
if you have learned
but don't live,
you're deceived.
Okay?
He also cares a lot.
This is across the book of James,
not just here.
He cares a lot about
what proceeds from us.
What we speak
and what we do.
This is what proceeds from us.
What we do
and what we speak.
James cares a lot
about these things.
In the same spirit
of what Jesus said,
it's not what goes in you
that defiles you,
it's what comes out of you.
James is very concerned
about what is coming
out of you.
You're supposedly learning
what are you doing?
What does your life say
you know?
Not your words.
Okay?
Be doers of the word,
not hearers only.
Last point I want to make.
I think N.T. Wright said this,
that Christianity
is a play
that the Lord revealed
for us to act out,
which is to say
Christianity is a lift.
Okay?
Similar to my intro to James.
Wisdom is lift.
Well, I think Christianity is lift.
James is going to say this
a bunch of times.
When I was in
the conservatory,
I was in class
with one of the graduate students
and he said something to me
that stuck out with me
because he was actually
referring to it.
he's a believer.
One of the things he said
a lot of,
in the school I went to,
a lot of people would argue
about music.
There's a lot of criticism
and critique.
A lot of being
in the critical position
where you're not
the one in the arena.
You're the person
critiquing the people
in the arena.
One of the things he said
that I thought was very wise
is he said,
music is not understood
in its notation.
It's understood
in its performance.
What he means is,
I know how well
you know the music
when I see you play it.
Anybody can just
dog on someone.
But can you play it?
What is it?
What are you showing
by the way you're playing it?
And I think that
James is making
a similar point here.
We don't get
any credit
in Christianity
for knowing the right answers.
We get credit
for living them out.
And I think
if there's any
one great heresy
on the conservative
what's called
the conservative
Protestant side of things,
the not liberal
holding two historical doctrines,
you know,
not off our rocker
traditional gender roles,
all this stuff,
the conservative
Protestant we,
it's by,
I think there's
any one great area
that seems to permeate.
It's treating
Christianity
like a religion
that gives you credit
for knowing the right answer
irregardless of your practice.
I think there's a lot
of scholarly
hearers
and not doers,
not practitioners
of the word,
hearers of the word.
I think that's what
James is talking to here.
Maybe not be so.
You know,
maybe we know
we get no credit
for having the right answer.
He's going to say
the same thing
when he talks about
faith without works,
which again,
he makes a lot
of the same points here.
Okay, sorry.
That was a long time.
One verse.
For if anyone
is a hearer of a word,
hearer of the word,
and not a doer,
he is like a man
who looks intently
at his natural face
in the mirror,
for he looks at himself
and goes away
and at once forgets
what he was like.
I always think of this verse,
again,
fighting with my life.
We'll get in fights
and a few days later
she'll be like,
have you thought any more
about what we were
talking about
and I'll be like,
ah,
what were we talking about?
I remember it didn't go well.
How unselfaware.
Again, guys,
I'm not the best example
of these things.
Okay.
For if he looks at himself
and goes away
and at once forgets
what he looks like,
but the one,
this is where James
goes in a very different direction
than you would anticipate
about someone
who's not living out
what they believe,
he takes it
a very different direction.
He doesn't say
you need to practice more.
But the one
who looks into
the perfect law,
the law of liberty
and perseveres,
being no hearer
who forgets,
but a doer
who acts,
he will be blessed
in his doing.
Okay.
There is a mirror
that you can look into
called liberty.
It's called
the law of liberty.
This is in contrast
to the law
of Moses
that condemns.
There is another law
that you can look into
that shows a reflection
of who you are
but sets you free.
There is a law
that is the law
of Moses
that shows us
how wicked we are
but gives us
no hope.
Okay.
There is another law
called liberty
that you can peer into
that will set you free.
And the kind of freedom
I'm talking about
is the kind of freedom
to where
what you believe
and what you do
and what you love
are all unified.
That kind of freedom.
You're no longer
divided against yourself.
You're set free.
I believe
that this law,
the law of liberty,
is really coming boldly
before the throne of grace.
I believe
that what this is talking about
is
in Christ
we can have
so much grace
and mercy
extended to us
that we're able
to see ourselves
exactly as we are
and have no condemnation
but actual freedom
from our sin.
Okay.
The big analogy
I think of here
is one of my favorite scenes.
If you guys have seen
the musical Les Mis,
I love that story
but one of the things
that's so powerful
about that story
is
he
you know
the bishop takes him in
is caring for him
and then he
steals from him
and even knocks him out
so that he can escape
and the police catch him
bring him back
and when he
brings him back
the bishop tells the police
thank you so much
for bringing him back
you forgot the candlesticks
and really
this
changes his whole life.
Why?
He saw himself
exactly as he was
and how much
he had wronged this man
but he received
so much mercy
and grace
in the midst of it
that it literally
set him free.
He became one man
that day.
Right?
There is a way
in which
when we first
come to the Lord
we receive
so much
grace
we experience
so much
liberty
because we can
see exactly
as we are
and not
shrink back
and become
a mess
like we would
under the law
but we actually
find ourselves
experiencing freedom.
When we beat our chest
and say forgive me
oh God a sinner
we actually
go away
set free.
There is
a law
called liberty
that is a mirror
that gives us
what I would call
divine self-awareness.
I think
divine self-awareness
is a Christian ideal.
I don't think
self-obsession
is a Christian ideal
and I don't think
pretending like
our sin doesn't
stink that bad
is a Christian ideal.
I think that
because of the cross
we can peer
and see ourselves
exactly as we are
and come boldly
before the throne
of grace
and partake
of this law.
This is like
this is not like
a law
like a bunch of rules
this is like
a law of the universe.
Like this is something
like the laws
of aerodynamics
that keep planes
in the air.
This is like
a law
that allows
for the train
to traverse
because of
the way
that it is able
to be fully supported
by the steel rails
that go under it.
This is a law
that gives freedom
not restriction.
We think of a law
as restriction
but
let's say
a fish
is very thankful
for the ability
of their
gills
to
be able
to interact
with the environment
and the laws
of physics
that provide oxygen
in the water
and the fish
is not going
to do so well
when outside
of the water
and I think
there's an extent
to which
we as Christians
experience
great freedom
and liberty
but then
move on
from it
not wanting
to see ourself
in our shame
if that makes sense.
I think a Christian
never loses
we should never
lose the willingness
to see ourselves
exactly as we are
and I think
this even comes
back around
to listening.
I think
that listening
is in the spirit
of
divine self-awareness
let's say
an environment
of grace
where people
see how they
really are
and get freedom
from it
but I also
think
even how we
are before
the Lord
has enormous
amount
to do with this
like where
is our heart
when issues
come up
when we see
ourselves
in fault
are we defensive
or can we
see ourselves
in the way
that the Christ
sees us
which is
everything
is paid for
and we can
actually have
freedom
and this is
again coming
back around
this idea
of the truth
will set you
free
and here's
my question
is the truth
setting
the hearer
free
or the speaker
free
I believe
the truth
can set
both of them
free
sometimes
you need
to speak
the truth
and confess
what's going
on in your
life
and sometimes
you need
to graciously
speak the truth
to someone
else
that they
might be
free
and I
think the
truth
can set
both of
those people
free
and I
think
what makes
the truth
what is it
what makes
the truth
surgically
effective
is grace
and listening
and how those
things overlap
okay
I think there's
some divine
self-awareness
that is transformative
for relationships
both husband
and wife
let's say
but also
with the Lord
it's a very
powerful thing
all right
thank you
he can tell
my mouth
is very dry
I almost
I meant to
bring some
water up
thanks Sam
all right
I'm bringing
this full circle
and this plane
all right
verse 26
if anyone
thinks he
is religious
and does
not bridle
his tongue
but deceives
his heart
this person's
religion
is worthless
what are you
talking about
James
I thought
Christianity
is a relationship
not a religion
sorry I had
to say that
James is
referring to
Christianity
as a religion
okay
he's meaning
religion
in the capital
R sense
what is the
most important
and meaningful
metaphysical
reality
of all of
life
what is God
like and how
does he want
you to live
Christianity
is a true
religion
it is the
true religion
and James
is saying
if anyone
thinks
he's
participating
in the true
religion
let's say
and does
not bridle
his tongue
but deceives
his heart
this person's
religion
is worthless
James is going
to say a lot
of things like
this
James
probably
maybe more
than any
other author
in the
all of
scripture
has the
most things
to say
about being
careful
about what
you speak
I can't
think of
another author
that brings
up being
careful about
what you
speak as
much as
James does
if you
do not
bridle
your tongue
also
coming back
to listening
the thing
that gets
us in
trouble
is not
being able
to bridle
our tongue
right
how many
things
this is
actually a
good thing
for you
guys to
even remember
even for
our own
parents
the things
that most
wounded us
about our
parents
was it
what they
did
or was it
what they
said
I think
often times
the most
wounding
things a
parent
ever do
is the
things that
they say
with
unbridled
tongue
there's other
things too
that make a
huge impact
abandoning a
child
things like
this
I think
one of the
most relatable
failures as a
parent
is speaking
to their
children with
the unbridled
tongue
how much
do we do
that to
others
how much
do I do
that
I just
do that
on Thursday
sorry babe
all right
verse 27
religion that
is pure
and undefiled
before God
the Father
is this
to visit
orphans and
widows in
their affliction
and to keep
oneself unstained
from the
world
one of the
reasons I
love this
verse is
he is
talking about
what
Christianity
is which
is the
Lord
fundamentally
confronting
the orphan
nature of
humanity
and welcoming
them into
the father
into the
family of
God
okay
that is
what
Christianity
is we
are all
orphans
and the
Lord has
come for
us
right
when we
are transformed
by the
gospel
one of the
implications
of that
is our
relationship
to this
kind of
issue
the issue
of family
the issue
of orphans
the issue
of widows
and there
is something
that the
Lord is
producing in
us that
is a
transformation
of the
heart
that believes
in the
power of
the Lord's
kingdom
the Lord's
family
advancing
okay
and I
believe
that
to visit
orphans and
widows in
their affliction
is another
way of
saying
there are
people that
experience great
suffering
they're orphaned
and widowed
and those are
the people that
the gospel
pertains most
evidently to
you know what I
mean
I think actually
this is another
irony of the
gospel
sometimes it can
be tempted when
we're trying to
preach the gospel
to look to
preach to people
who have their
life together
when the people
who are actually
most accessible
to it are the
people who are
hot messes
you know what I
mean
this is even in
part what the
parable of the
wedding feast is
where we invite
all the friends
of the family
and they don't
come but then
we go out to
the street and
invite the
homeless and
they all come
there's an
extent to which
again this
pertains to us
as evangelists
we should be
looking for
people who
are hungry for
the gospel
not just people
who don't look
like a huge
piece of work
because most
of the people
who receive the
gospel the best
are a huge
piece of work
the orphans
and the widows
you know what
I'm saying
liability
persons
just like us
and then he
says and to
keep oneself
unstained from
the world
which I guess
I think too
one of the
great dilemmas
in being a
Christian is
being in the
world but not
of the world
you know what
I mean
even as we
go forth
being in a
position where
you maintain
influence and
honor before the
Lord
but don't get
like caught in
the snares of
this world
it's a beautiful
thing
it's a beautiful
thing that we
could navigate
this world
and be unstained
by it
that's what
the Lord is
so just in
summary
I think
that
listening
and having
let's call it
divine
self-awareness
these are
incredibly
important things
by way of
living a wise
Christian life
and there are
also things
that there is
so much
of our life
that can
become
untangled
whenever
the Lord
builds us
up in these
things
there's so
many
issues
in our
marriages
and even
with our
kids
that need
to be
reconciled
by way
of listening
and there's
so many
things in
our own
heart
that we're
perhaps
burying
by way
of
hiding
from the
light
I think
that in
a lot
of ways
what he's
saying
is we
should
live
in the
light
you can
receive a
lot of
grace
from the
Lord
such that
you believe
in the
power of
the light
to deliver
I think
living in
the light
and the
law of
liberty
are the
same
thing
I think
that's
what the
Lord's
willing to
set us
free
into
so I'm
going to
go ahead
and close
in prayer