I invite you to take your Bibles this morning and turn with me over to the book of Deuteronomy.
We're going to be in Deuteronomy chapter 6 this morning, beginning in verse 4,
and we're going to work our way through verse 9.
Deuteronomy chapter 6, verses 4 through 9.
And this morning, I'd like to talk to you about something that is very near and dear to my heart.
This is also the passage that I go to when people ask me,
why are you still doing youth ministry? You're almost 40 years old.
You should be aging out of youth ministry by now, right, Mike?
This is the foundational text for youth ministry, children's ministry,
when it comes to family discipleship that we find in the Bible.
And so this is a very important text that we'll be going over this morning
when we're talking about foundations for a godly home.
I think if I was to ask everyone in this room this morning,
is raising children, raising them in a godly home, raising youth in a godly home,
is that a good thing? Is it important?
I think it's pretty safe to say that most everyone in this room would say,
yes, raising a child in a godly home is a good idea.
But if I was to go around and ask each person, how do we go about doing that?
What are some ways that we can raise our children in a godly home?
I'm sure we would get a number of different answers.
And so this morning, what we do not want to concern ourselves with
is the opinion of other people, not even my opinion.
What we want to concern ourselves with this morning is, what does God say?
What does God say about the key foundations to a godly home?
And Deuteronomy 6, verses 4 through 9, has some key foundations for us
that we can take away and apply to our family life.
I trust that you have found our text.
I'm going to invite everyone to stand as we honor the reading of God's holy,
inerrant, infallible word.
Moses says,
Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one.
You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart,
with all your soul, and with all your might.
And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart.
You shall teach them diligently to your children,
and shall talk of them when you sit in your house,
and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.
You shall bind them as a sign on your hand,
and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes.
You shall write them on the doorposts of your house,
and on your gates.
Would you pray with me?
Father, this is your word,
and this morning we are thankful to come here to study.
Lord, we are thankful that, Lord, you have given parents the responsibility
to raise their children in the fear and admonition of the Lord.
And so, Father, this morning as we come,
Lord, I pray that you would open our hearts,
our ears, our minds to be receptive, to be teachable.
So, Lord, we dedicate this time to you first of all,
and we praise you for it in Christ's name.
Amen.
Thank you.
You can be seated.
You know, I am always overwhelmed,
as is many children's pastors, youth pastors, college pastors,
people who volunteer in youth ministry, children's ministries.
I am always overwhelmed by the statistics of students
that drop out of the church early on in life.
Now, when I say students,
I am not referring to juniors and seniors in high school
who typically we see their attendance decline a little bit
due to a driver's license, a girl or a boy,
a combination of those two, and even a job.
The statistics I am looking at this morning
has to do with students between the ages of 18 to 22 years old.
According to a recent LifeWay survey that I have read,
70% of students between the ages of 18 to 22 years old
will walk away from the church,
some of whom will never come back.
70%, that's 7 out of 10.
Let me put that into a little bit of a perspective for us.
In a youth ministry the size of ours here at First Baptist,
which can go anywhere from 35 to 40 roughly,
28 will not remain faithful.
28 of our students, according to these statistics,
will walk away from the church between the ages of 18 to 22 years old,
and some will not return.
And so what we have on our hands is an epidemic,
an epidemic that deserves an answer,
but more importantly, an epidemic that deserves a cure.
What are some things that we as a church family can do
to help deter this cancer that is eating away at our young people?
Well, according to this survey that I just referenced,
there are four things that a church can do
to help foster a vibrant relationship with the Lord Jesus.
Number one, according to this survey,
the church must have a proven value.
Listen to what this survey reports.
It says that two-thirds of the teens that stayed in the church said this,
the church plays a vital part of my relationship with God.
Mom and Dad, I want you to hear that.
The church, these teenagers that stayed between the ages of 18 and 22,
said that the church plays a vital part in their relationship with God.
What this demonstrates to us is that a relationship with God
and regular church attendance is of the utmost importance.
And I would add church attendance to the church that they are members at.
Second, according to this survey,
the church must have relevant teaching, preaching, and worship.
Once again, the students that stayed in the church,
according to this survey,
said that when the Bible was presented in relevant ways
and the music met them where they were at in life,
this helped to promote faithfulness.
At the time this survey was done,
Scott McConnell, director of research at LifeWay, said this,
quote,
if teens can't relate to the sermons at their church
or don't enjoy the worship style,
then as young adults,
they can easily fall away from their only connection to the church.
The third thing that kept these students in the church,
according to this survey,
were adults.
Adults that invested their lives into theirs.
This helped to promote faithfulness.
This survey reported that at least one adult
had invested their lives into those students
who stayed in the church.
A few months ago, parents,
you'll remember that I sent you an email
asking for parents and adults
to be involved with us on Wednesday nights.
This is the reason.
Because our students need adults
investing their lives into theirs.
And in this survey,
the adults that they were referring to
were not the youth pastors.
It was very, very few youth pastors.
It was very few people
in full-time vocational ministry.
This was people like their Sunday school teachers.
This was people like
those who come on Wednesday nights
to hang out with our students,
to eat a meal with them,
and just talk with them.
Adults investing their lives into students
are important.
However, the one thing
that was the most important,
according to this survey,
and I'm not trying to blow my head up here,
but I have read a lot of books on youth ministry.
I mean, a lot.
Children's ministry, youth ministry,
family ministry,
and read a lot of surveys
and been working with students
for around 15 years.
Across the board,
the number one thing
that kept students in the church
were mom and dad.
Here's what this survey reported.
It said, quote,
teens who at age 17
that have parents
that are authentic examples
of the Christian faith,
that is, they are proactive
and consistent in living out their faith,
also are more likely
to keep attending
as young adults.
Across the board,
20% more of those who stayed
indicated that they had parents
or family members
who discussed spiritual things,
gave them spiritual guidance,
and prayed with them.
And so just from the external data,
these books that we have
on family ministry
over the last 25 years,
these surveys that are taken
year after year after year
across the board,
the number one element
that kept these students
in the church
were faithful parents.
That's what the external data
points to.
And it's funny
because that's what
the internal data
says as well.
Parents must make
God the center of their home.
And our children,
our young people,
our youth,
they need to be seeing that.
And so the million dollar question
this morning is,
how do we do that?
How do we make God
the center of our home?
This text here,
Deuteronomy 6, 4 through 9,
is going to give us
three ways that we,
as parents,
can make God
the center of our home.
Number one,
to make God
the center of the home,
parents must have
an uncompromising love
for the Lord.
Parents must have
an uncompromising love
for the Lord.
Look what verse 4 says.
Hear, O Israel,
the Lord our God,
the Lord is one.
Now this great passage
that we are going over
this morning,
Deuteronomy 6, 4 through 9,
is what we call
the Shema.
Okay?
And the word Shema
is a Hebrew word
that means
to hear.
That's the first word
here in verse 4.
Okay?
Also,
post-biblical rabbis
understood the role
of the Shema
to be at the very heart
of God's law.
If you remember correctly,
when Jesus was asked
by his critics,
what is the most important
of all of the commandments,
he quotes
the Shema
and its companion passage,
Leviticus 19.18.
This was one of the
fundamental tenets
of the Jewish faith.
And you know what?
Jesus' critics
obviously agreed with him.
And so verse 4
goes on to say
that the Lord is one.
Perhaps the biggest
precept in Judaism
and in Christianity
for that matter
is the concept
of what we call
monotheism,
the belief
that there is only
one God.
Now,
if you have the privilege
of working with children
or even youth
and explaining to them
that God is one
but yet he exists
in three distinct
eternal persons,
a lot of times
that will raise
a lot of questions
and trying to explain
that God is one
but yet three persons
can be a task.
I love the way
John MacArthur
explains this.
Listen to what he says.
He says,
quote,
one in this passage
does not mean singleness
but unity.
It is the same word
used in Genesis 2.24
where the husband
and wife
were said to be
one flesh.
And so you have
the husband and wife
as two individuals
coming together
as one flesh
in marriage.
We also have to
take into consideration
the context
of our passage
this morning.
The Israelites
are moving into
a new land,
a land that's inhabited
by pagans
who worship
multiple gods.
And so God here says
you are not to worship
those false gods.
You are to worship
the one true God,
Yahweh is my name,
the God that you
have entered into
a covenant relationship with.
And so this text says
that we are to worship
this God who is one
and we are to love him,
verse five,
with all of our heart,
with all of our soul,
and with all of our might.
Heart, soul, might.
This does not describe
three distinct natures
to a human being's existence.
Rather, it is explaining
to us that everything
that we are
is to be completely
sold out
to the Lord.
In other words, parents,
every aspect of our lives,
our recreation life,
our professional life,
our family life,
needs to be sold out
to him.
God must be at the center
of everything we do
and our kids
have to see that.
Our kids have to see us
loving God
with an uncompromising love.
Let me illustrate it
using a parable.
There was a guy
in the New Testament
that used parables
for illustrations
and it worked really well
for him,
so I'm going to do it.
Sally loved her husband,
Joe.
Sally and Joe
have been married
for roughly seven years
and Sally adored Joe.
She loved him
with all of her heart,
with all of her soul,
with all of her might.
She would call him
throughout the day
and send him
little text messages
just to remind him
how much she loved him
and looked forward
to seeing him
when he came home.
If Joe was having
a hard day at work
and was a little stressed out,
if she could help,
she would drop everything
she could
to be right by his side,
to help him
to be there with him.
She loved him
and she did everything
she could for him.
She even gave Joe a son.
They named him Joe Jr.
Now, Joe Sr., the husband,
he had a different concept,
a different kind of idea
of what love meant.
Joe would commonly
forget her birthday.
He would often forget
their anniversary.
He would regularly
go to the lake
to go fishing
and go hunting
and he would go
to the Clemson football game
no matter what.
Even if it was a day
they had designated
as date day,
he was going to the game.
And so,
when Sally asked him,
why do you do that?
Why do you go to the game
or go hunting and fishing
on the days
that we've got
someone watching the kids
and we can go out
and have a date?
And Joe would just
kind of blow her off
and say,
you know what?
No big deal.
We'll just go next week.
And then next week
would come
and it would go
and so forth.
Despite the neglect,
Sally never gave up
on their relationship.
She continued to love him.
As the years went by,
Joe Jr., their son,
saw how daddy treated mommy.
And Joe Jr. grew up thinking
that's how you treat your wife.
And so,
when he got married
and he had a kid,
Joe III,
watched how Joe Jr.
treated his wife
and he saw how his granddaddy
treated his grandmother.
What we see
in this little parable
is a downward spiral
of apathy
and despondency
from one generation
to the next.
And it's illustrative
of what can happen
when parents fail
to love God
with an uncompromising
kind of love
that our children can see.
If our kids
see in us
a love
for the Lord
that expresses itself
in apathy,
in despondency,
well,
there's a good chance
that they'll follow suit.
However,
if they see
a sincere love,
a uncompromising love
for God
that puts God first
in every single area
of their lives,
there's also a good chance
that they'll follow that as well
and not become
the next statistic.
To make God
the center of the home,
we,
the parents,
must have an uncompromising
love for God.
Number two,
to make God
the center of the home,
parents must model
biblical obedience.
Parents must model
biblical obedience.
Look what Moses says,
verse six.
He says,
and these words
that I command you today
shall be on your heart.
I want to look at three words
here in verse six.
It's the words words,
command,
and heart.
The word words
is the subject
of the sentence
and it's a reference
to scripture.
Okay?
The word command
is obviously the verb
and it can be translated
as to give in order
or to lay charge of.
In other words,
God's word,
scripture,
is a command,
a charge
that demands
absolute obedience
from the Christian
and the Christian's home.
And this brings us
to the next word,
which is the word heart,
which can also be translated
as inner mind
or will.
Now,
in the psychology
of the Old Testament,
the heart
is not
the center
of emotional life
and response.
Here in the United States,
when we think of the word heart,
we kind of get that
ushy-gushy
kind of thinking
of love
or something being
on our heart.
That's not what it means
in the Old Testament.
The heart
in the Old Testament
is the seat
of intellect
or the rational side
of humankind.
In other words,
for something
to be upon
the heart
means that it is
in a person's
constant,
conscious reflection.
And so as the Israelites
went throughout their day,
Moses is commanding them
to ponder
and to meditate
upon the word of God.
They were to be
so saturated
with God's word
that their obedience
to the word of God
naturally comes
as an outflow
of their love
for Him.
Once again,
John MacArthur
puts it this way.
He says,
quote,
the people
were to think
about these commandments
and meditate
on them
so that obedience
would not be a matter
of formal legalism
but a response
based upon
understanding.
I brought a magazine article
with me this morning.
It's a fairly
old magazine article.
It comes from a magazine
called
Parent Magazine.
And this article
was written
by a man named
Dr. Benjamin Spock.
I'm sure a number
of you in here
have heard his name
who during his lifetime
was considered
the leading pediatrician
in the medical community.
He wrote a book
called Baby and Child Care.
This book sold
more than 50 million copies
second only
to the Bible.
And in this article
he writes about something
that he calls
incidental learning
which is the kind
of learning
that takes place
when a child
watches a mom,
a dad,
a teacher,
even a peer.
So hear what he says
in this article.
He says that
children learn
a great deal
from a formal education
but they also
are educated
by identifying with
and imitating
their parents
which he goes on
to explain
is called
incidental learning.
He says that
children develop
the basic survival
tools they need
long before
they enter the world
of formal schooling.
Incidental learning
takes place
throughout a child's life
but a child's first teacher
are his parents
and they are
his most profound inspiration.
Examples of
incidental learning
includes a two-year-old
who picks up
several new words
each day
by listening to his parents
and a toddler
who takes his first steps
after he experiments
by holding on
to his parents.
A child,
as a child
becomes older
and encounters
new people
and environments
they begin to
imitate the behaviors
of people
other than their parents.
In preschool
or elementary school
they may pay attention
to the behaviors
of friends
or older children
at least in superficial matters
such as their manners,
their language
and their fashion.
Other admired adults
they may imitate
include daycare providers,
teachers
or camp counselors.
And during the preteen
and teen years
children identify
more strongly
with the beliefs
and the behaviors
of their peers.
Young children
usually identify
more closely
with the parent
of the same gender.
They absorb
crucial lessons
about social
and moral behavior
by studying that parent.
Children between the ages
of four to six
are usually eager
to observe adults
at work.
Many children
spend numerous hours
playing house
and what they're really doing
in these activities
is acting out
the roles
of their parents.
Boys may pretend
to say goodbye
to their wife
and girls
likewise
to their husbands.
By the age
of three and four
children delight
in cooking,
driving and playing house
just like mommy
and daddy.
This is for the school teachers.
Incidental learning
at home
also influences
how a child
will perform in school.
For example,
the best way
to instill
a love of books
in children
is to read to them
and for them
to see their parents
enjoying books.
He sums up
his article
by saying this.
If parents
want their child's
incidental learning
to be as beneficial
as possible,
then parents
should demonstrate
as often as possible
the qualities
they want
their child
to imitate.
I think we
as Christian
parents
want to be setting
the best
biblical example
possible.
And I know
we fail at times.
I know I fail
often.
But we
have to be
doing it
because
when our children
do not see us
walking closely
with the Lord,
that's a big problem.
If they don't see us
spending time
with God
every day,
if they don't see us
praying,
if they don't see us
getting into the Bible,
having our devotional
quiet time,
whatever you want to call it,
if they don't see us
doing it,
chances are
they're not going
to do it.
If our children
see in us
a love
or a lack thereof
of the church
and placing other
things before it,
chances are
our children
will do the same.
if our children
do not see us
placing a priority
on corporate worship,
on coming to Sunday school,
being involved
in some discipleship,
chances are
our children
will not either.
The bottom line
is this.
Our children
are watching us.
They're going to
imitate
what we do.
Let us
instill
into our children
biblical
obedience.
Biblical obedience.
To make God
the center of the home,
parents must model
biblical obedience.
And finally,
to make God
the center of the home,
parents must teach
God's Word
to their kids.
Parents,
you are the primary
disciples of your children.
Not your pastor,
not their Sunday school teacher.
You are the ones
primarily responsible
throughout the week
to open up this book
and to teach them.
Look what Moses says next
in verse 7.
He says,
you shall teach them,
that is scripture,
diligently to your children
and shall talk of them,
that is scripture,
when you sit in your house
and when you walk by the way
and when you lie down
and when you rise.
This word,
teach,
is a very interesting word.
It can actually be translated
pierced
or to sharpen.
If you're using
the NIV translation,
it uses the word
impress,
I-M-P-R-E-S-S.
And so it's the image
of an engraver
who is carefully
and meticulously
taking a piece of granite
and hammering at it
to make a beautiful piece
of artwork.
He only imagined
how meticulous that is
and how long
of a process
that is.
But that's what it's like
teaching our children
the Bible.
It's a long process.
It can be meticulous
at times.
It can even be difficult.
But it pays dividends
in the end.
We just don't teach
our children the scripture.
Moses says here
that we are to talk
about scripture
with them.
There's a difference
between teaching
our children scripture
and talking to them
about it.
It is our responsibility
to not only open
this book
and teach them
but also talk.
The difference is
is that talking
denotes a constant
repetition
to aid with memory.
Okay?
So this is the conversation
you're having around
the dinner table
at night.
This might be
the conversation
you have on the way
home from church
this afternoon
when you ask your child
what was it that you
all learned in Sunday
school today?
This can be a conversation
you have on the way
to the ball game.
Any conversation
as we're sitting
around the house
scripture has to be
a topic of discussion.
It should be
a primary topic
of discussion.
And when we do that
it helps to impress
into the minds
of our children
what they've been
taught at the church
and what we're teaching
them in God's word.
And so Moses closes
out this section
in verses 8 and 9
he says
you shall bind them
that is scripture
once again
as a sign on your hand
and they shall be
as frontlets
between your eyes
you shall write them
that is scripture
on the doorpost
of your house
and on your gates.
What in the world
does it mean
to take scripture
and bind it
to my hands
and put it
on my forehead
and on the doorpost
of my house?
What is he talking about?
Well when this was
originally written
there was a degree
of symbolism here
however later on
teachers of the law
began to take
this passage
extremely literal.
they would take
these boxes
that they would make
called phylacteries
and they would take
in these boxes
called phylacteries
and they would take
the Shema
this passage
we're looking at
and they would put
it inside of it
and then they would
take that box
those boxes
and put them
on their gowns
and on their headdresses
they would even
put them to the doorpost
of their house.
There is a degree
of symbolism in here
I believe
and what Moses
I believe is saying
is that the word
of God should be
so prevalent
in your life
and in your family's life
remember he's writing
to parents
that it should be
a constant guide
to how you live
and how your family lives.
Before her death
Morrow Coffey Graham
wrote a book
she wrote this book
about her experiences
as the mother
of a man
who would go on
to preach the gospel
to more than
any other person
in modern history.
I brought a little
excerpt of her book
with me
and in closing
this morning
I'd like to read it
to you.
Here's what she says
My husband and I
established a family altar
the day we were married
and we carried that through.
In the breakfast room
I always kept
a scripture calendar
with a verse for the day.
Each morning
we read that
and prayed to the Lord
and as we gathered
at the breakfast table
everyone would bow
his head
and fold his hands
as my husband
asked the blessing.
Often as I packed
the school lunches
I could hear my husband
talking to the children.
He helped them
memorize literally
hundreds of Bible verses.
I look forward
to our evenings together
as a family.
Everyone gathered
in the family room
and we did this
right after the dinner dishes
were put away.
It was the most important
things in our life
this time of Bible reading
and prayer
and listen to what she says.
I know that today
Billy recalls
those instructional periods
as among the most important
in his life
helping him
to become saturated
with the Bible
and since my children
have married
and gone their separate ways
and since my husband's death
I have found myself
with more time
to devote to prayer
and I pray unceasing
for Billy.
As many of you all
in this room
probably have already guessed
that the Billy
she's referring to here
is Billy Graham.
And one of the reasons
Billy Graham
was so great
is because he had parents
that faithfully taught him
the Word of God
in his home
and in his life
and because of this
this is one of the reasons
Billy grew up
practicing what he was taught
by a faithful mom
and dad.
What a responsibility
we as parents have
to raise our children
in the fear and admonition
of the Lord
to disciple them.
I don't think anyone
in this room this morning
is happy
with the moral decay
that our nation
is going through right now.
We need
a generation
of young people
who love Jesus
with all their heart
soul and might
that are serious
about making disciples
that are like
the eleven remaining
disciples
in Acts chapter 2
who turn this world
upside down
for Jesus.
It starts with us.
The buck
stops
with you
mom and dad.
So let us be diligent
in discipling
our children.
You know
I've read
this book
as many of you guys have
I've read this book
front to back
many
many times.
I have yet
to find
an exception
clause
to raising
our kids
to discipling
our children.
I have yet
to find
a passage
of scripture
in there
where raising
our kids
and the fear
and admonition
of the Lord
is something
we can delegate
to a professional
like a youth
pastor
or senior
pastor
or somebody
else.
It's just
not there.
We
are called
to be the
primary
disciples
of our
children
and the
question is
are we
doing it?
So this
morning
as we enter
into a time
of invitation
maybe you
need to spend
some time
as do I
in prayer
asking God
to help you
with that
asking God
to show you
ways
that you
can take
that
responsibility
and be a
champion
with it.
Maybe you
need to spend
some time
here at the
altar
maybe you've
been visiting
with us
for several
weeks
and you
know
you're
thinking
of joining
our church
however the
Lord is
working in
your life
during this
time of
invitation
let God
have his
way
so I'm
going to
pray for
us
our musicians
will come
and lead
us
and you
just let the
Lord have
his way
in your life
this morning
would you
pray with
me
Father we
come before
you today
thankful
for the
word of
God
Father it
is your
word it
is without
error
and it
has complete
authority
over our
lives
the things
we like
and the
things we
do not
like it
has complete
and absolute
authority
and so
Father this
morning we
come and
pray that
Lord you
would take
your word
and work
in us
that for
every person
that is
here that
has children
or even
couples that
are looking
to have
children
that Lord
we would
do our
very best
to model
biblical
obedience
to love
you with
an uncompromising
love
to teach
our children
your word
may we be
caught faithful
doing that
each and
every day
Lord we
love you
and we
pray this
in Jesus
name
amen
god